0:00:02 > 0:00:06Flying high above the Buenos Aires skyline. It can mean only one thing.
0:00:06 > 0:00:12Total Wipeout is back and Argentina's playing host, 7,000 miles from home.
0:00:12 > 0:00:1920 courageous souls, including a dog walker, a kebab shop owner and a bouncer have journeyed from Britain
0:00:19 > 0:00:23to take on the greatest obstacle course in the universe.
0:00:23 > 0:00:30Well, the known universe. One will succeed, but 19 will unsucceed.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Let the games begin.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Hello and welcome to a brand new series.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Now, how would you describe a show like Total Wipeout?
0:00:41 > 0:00:46Some critics have called it puerile slapstick, while others have called it mindless idiocy,
0:00:46 > 0:00:50but they're wrong - it's actually a subtle blend of the two.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53So what puerile idiocy do we have in store this evening?
0:00:53 > 0:00:58The Qualifier, bigger and better than ever before.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Crash Mountain, well, what on Earth is that?
0:01:01 > 0:01:04Dizzy Dummies, they've stuck new bits on it.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08And the all-new Wipeout Zone, which no-one told me about!
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Wow, that looks impressive.
0:01:10 > 0:01:15They really have pushed the boat out there. A complete overhaul of Total Wipeout.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20Yeah, well, clearly that's where they've spent the money, then.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23It's good to know that some things do remain the same.
0:01:23 > 0:01:28Me, this uncomfortable, cheap chair and my co-host Amanda Byram.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32She's at the top of the course with this series' very first contestant.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40I'm joined now at the top of The Qualifier by the lovely Mark from Lockerbie.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43So, Mark, what is it that you do?
0:01:43 > 0:01:46I've a few jobs actually, Amanda, but one of which,
0:01:46 > 0:01:48which is quite relevant to this, is a professional dog walker.
0:01:48 > 0:01:54So, I'm trying to make the leap in my mind, between the high octane world of dog walking
0:01:54 > 0:01:57and the Total Wipeout course. What have you got in the tank, Mark?
0:01:57 > 0:02:02You need a lot of concentration and a lot of control when you've got six dogs flapping about your feet.
0:02:03 > 0:02:07OK, time for walkies.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Oh, good nose holding technique from dog walker Mark,
0:02:10 > 0:02:14a gesture more normally seen when it comes to pooper-scooper time.
0:02:14 > 0:02:1644-year-old Mark is out of the water
0:02:16 > 0:02:20and ambling his way along the pontoons.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24Little does he realise it's time for him to test out a new obstacle.
0:02:24 > 0:02:29Inspired by the classic Argentinian parlour game Las Traplonkas,
0:02:29 > 0:02:31comes the first new obstacle of the series
0:02:31 > 0:02:34and the very latest in Total Wipeout entertainment.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38It's an ingenious amalgamation of a swing and a plank.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42It takes balance, it takes skill and it took no time at all to build.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45That's Traplonk!
0:02:45 > 0:02:49Anyway, Mark will be the first human to attempt it,
0:02:49 > 0:02:52so far it's only been tested using monkeys.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Oh, I miss those monkeys, lovely little things.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Right... Oh, wait a minute, where's he gone?
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Ooh, it's not worked.
0:03:02 > 0:03:03No, he's back!
0:03:03 > 0:03:05I saw lawyers in every...
0:03:05 > 0:03:07If only Mark had held on to the trapeze
0:03:07 > 0:03:10as tightly as he holds on to those dog leads,
0:03:10 > 0:03:12he'd have made it, but he didn't.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16Right, there's still one Traplonk - it's catching on - left for Mark.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19What has he learned from his first attempt?
0:03:19 > 0:03:23OK, and he's learnt to hold on tighter to the trapeze.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27But he hasn't learnt when to let go.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30It will catch on.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32After two dunkings and the onset of hypothermia,
0:03:32 > 0:03:36it's time for Mark to move on to the Sucker Punch.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39An old familiar friend, the Sucker Punch wall,
0:03:39 > 0:03:43a timeless design classic and Humpty Dumpty's worst nightmare.
0:03:43 > 0:03:48A big wall with 22 boxing gloves and not a king's man or horse in sight.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Right, anyway, here goes nothing.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52This is it.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Oh, there goes Mark!
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Let's not dwell on the negatives here.
0:03:58 > 0:04:04Mark did manage to get past one of the 22 fists. Yeah...
0:04:04 > 0:04:08# Oh, you are a mucky kid
0:04:08 > 0:04:13# Dirty as a dustbin lid. #
0:04:16 > 0:04:19The next obstacle needs no introduction.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23Actually, I probably should introduce it, it is the Big Balls.
0:04:23 > 0:04:28They're back and this year they've got an all new addition, the Motivator!
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Goodbye, Big Ball ditherers, so long, time wasters.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35The Motivator is guaranteed to put a spring into the slowest of steps,
0:04:35 > 0:04:40so if you snooze, you lose, you bruise and you get very, very wet.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43So, will Mark get Motivated?
0:04:43 > 0:04:45He's at the ramp.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Not got time to stop and think.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Will he? No, not this time.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52He's going straight in... Into the water, that is.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56Yeah, Mark was too quick for the Motivator there, which is a shame, to be honest.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59I really wanted to see it in action. Maybe next time.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02So, the dog walker needs to do a bit of swimming now.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- He's doing the doggy paddle.- I couldn't be bothered with that one.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09Good to see her unwavering support for the contestants hasn't changed.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12She's just an iceberg of concern and sympathy.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16Right, final obstacle, and it's another new one.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19It is the Cradles Of Doom.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Now, two pendulous platforms which the competitors must traverse
0:05:22 > 0:05:24to reach that elusive final target.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Time it wrong, and they'll fall to their doom...
0:05:27 > 0:05:31Well, in the pond, there. Is it humanly possible to get across them?
0:05:31 > 0:05:35To be honest, no-one knows cos even the monkeys gave up at this point.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37So, Mark eyes up the new challenge.
0:05:37 > 0:05:41Yes, Mark, it's real.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45He's on to the first. Timing is crucial now. Come on, Mark!
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Oh, no, he's doomed!
0:05:49 > 0:05:53Yeah, the Cradles have officially claimed their first victim.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57Dog walker Mark almost neutered himself there.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02Yeah, I did it to my Jack Russell, it's fair enough.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08So, Mark climbs to the top of the podium and marks his territory
0:06:08 > 0:06:10in five minutes and 13 seconds.
0:06:10 > 0:06:11Whoo-hoo!
0:06:14 > 0:06:17He looks ruff!
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Oh, Mark, my lovely.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Take your goggles off, darling. You're done with the course now.
0:06:22 > 0:06:23There he is.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Talk to me, how was it?
0:06:25 > 0:06:27It's not as easy as it looks, you know.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Don't try this at home.
0:06:29 > 0:06:34Next to tackle The Qualifier, we have a bona fide champion in our midst.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Eyes down, clickety click,
0:06:36 > 0:06:41these legs 11 are going to do the trick. Whoo-hoo!
0:06:41 > 0:06:45Yeah, it's 2004 Bingo Caller Of The Year, Mandy from Leicestershire.
0:06:45 > 0:06:51- So, come on, who's excited about that?- Whoo!
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Mandy is, obviously.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54And off she goes.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Mandy starts with a number 25, a duck and a dive.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Number three, deary me.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05This is going to get wearing, isn't it?
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Amanda freestyling the bingo numbers there.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Here goes!
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Mandy gets a couple of 33s, dirty knees.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16I'm going to stop this now.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Unlucky for some, number 13.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21All right, I'll give you that one, Amanda. That is a real one.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Go-go, bingo balls!
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Muddy Mandy is going to need all the luck she can get
0:07:25 > 0:07:27- as she heads towards the next obstacle.- Right.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Release those balls!
0:07:29 > 0:07:33OK, the Motivator hovering to encourage her if she needs it. Ooh!
0:07:33 > 0:07:37She jumps just as the Motivator swings in, and she falls in.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39I'm sure it was the noise of the Motivator kicking in
0:07:39 > 0:07:42that disrupted Mandy's efforts.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Gravity didn't help, either.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Maybe she could have done with some bingo wings!
0:07:58 > 0:07:59Come on!
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Oh, he's keen.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04This is 59-year-old Chris from Liverpool
0:08:04 > 0:08:07and he's looking good.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11- Oh, yes!- Yeah, on to the Traplonks, the second one.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14- Oh, no! Disaster.- Yes... Maybe...
0:08:18 > 0:08:19Yes... Maybe...
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Yeah, marvellous performance by Chris, give him his due.
0:08:24 > 0:08:25Oh, yeah.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29- No.- Oh.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33Let's say goodbye to Chris and hello to Matt,
0:08:33 > 0:08:36a 29-year-old airport worker from London.
0:08:36 > 0:08:37What's up, Matt?
0:08:39 > 0:08:42So, Matt, you work at Heathrow Airport.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Are you an air steward or a pilot?
0:08:45 > 0:08:48No, I'm nothing exciting like that. I help less able passengers.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52Do you drive one of those little thingies that beep-beep-beep,
0:08:52 > 0:08:53always gets me out of the way?
0:08:53 > 0:08:58I used to until I had three accidents crashing into lifts and breaking them.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01- Are we a little bit clumsy, Matt? - Very.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Anything to trip over, I will be.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Oh, good, this should be interesting.
0:09:07 > 0:09:12Usually you see me at the airport, now watch me fly around the course.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Go on then, Matt, off you fly.
0:09:17 > 0:09:18Yes.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22Well, a cautious start to the course from Matt.
0:09:22 > 0:09:23Oh!
0:09:26 > 0:09:30Let's see if he can fly over the Traplonks.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33OK, here he goes. Oh, no.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Matt's experiencing a slight delay.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41- Yes!- He's done it, he's Traplonked.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43It will catch on. Straight across the second.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Matt becomes our very first double Traplonker.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53That though, Matt, technically isn't an obstacle. That's... Umm.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Right, let's see if he can conquer the Sucker Punch, as well.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Here we go. Oh!
0:09:59 > 0:10:02No. More of a glancing blow than a flying punch,
0:10:04 > 0:10:06but it did the trick. On to the Balls.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Remember, the Motivator hovering, no time for dithering.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Don't stop me now, Balls!
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Oh, look at him go. Look at him go!
0:10:14 > 0:10:15Oh!
0:10:18 > 0:10:22Some fantastic aerial manoeuvres by the airport man, there.
0:10:22 > 0:10:23Oh, yeah.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28I think the backs of his knees went in first, which is impossible.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30On to the Cradles Of Doom now
0:10:30 > 0:10:32and time for a quick pre-flight safety check.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Oh, yeah, yeah, you've lost your goggles.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37Yeah, you have. Can he still see?
0:10:37 > 0:10:40Or maybe he's better off without them.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Maybe... Maybe not.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46Short climb to the target now and Matt The Airport posts a time
0:10:46 > 0:10:49of 3 minutes 23, the fastest so far today.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Wahey!
0:10:51 > 0:10:54What's he doing? Oh, yeah,
0:10:54 > 0:10:56guiding in a 737 from Malaga.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Time for some real enthusiasm now.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04I'm like a Jack in the Box.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06I'm going to jump up and surprise you all.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Oh, I'm surprised already, if only by the socks.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13Right, Gillian is into the water and out of the water and has certainly
0:11:13 > 0:11:14got a spring in her step,
0:11:14 > 0:11:17but will that help her get across the Traplonks?
0:11:19 > 0:11:23Oh, yes, it will! The second Traplonk.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Yes!
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Well, Gillian's literally bounced her way across.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Fantastic, another Traplonker.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Next obstacle and this should be Big Ball gold.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Ooh, the Motivator's off!
0:11:38 > 0:11:42It just clips her and Gillian's in.
0:11:43 > 0:11:48No time to stop and think.
0:11:48 > 0:11:52MUSIC: "That Ole Devil Called Love" by Alison Moyet
0:11:55 > 0:11:59Right, she's got to swim out of the water, climb the ladder
0:11:59 > 0:12:02and just the Cradles to go now.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Look at that, Gillian's in the box!
0:12:07 > 0:12:13Oh, she's made the second. Will she conquer the Cradles Of Doom?
0:12:13 > 0:12:17Yes! Yes, she's done it and in two minutes 43,
0:12:17 > 0:12:20- the fastest time so far today.- Yes!
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Yes, she's still jumping.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25I think that last one winded her, actually.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Meet pizza and kebab shop owner, Ali.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33Now, I'm presuming you get that physique from a constant diet of kebabs, yeah?
0:12:33 > 0:12:37I'm not going to lie. Of course, I eat a lot of chicken.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Are you going to do that over the big red balls?
0:12:39 > 0:12:41And that as well.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Yeah, all right, I've never seen a pizza delivery boy like Ali before.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Imagine him turning up at your door!
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Remember, if he takes longer than ten minutes, you'll get a free Coke.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52God, especially if he does that!
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Right, and he's off.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59Oh, look at that! Where's he gone?
0:12:59 > 0:13:03He's out and he's up on his feet.
0:13:03 > 0:13:08Ooh, here comes Ali and his big arms.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10All right, we could all have them if we had time!
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Look at him go. This is epic.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Actually, this man is a bit of a machine.
0:13:17 > 0:13:21- Look at the muscles on that! - All right, calm down, Amanda.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- Mrs Ali might be watching. She might have bigger arms.- Oh!
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Right, he's out of the water, on top of the world, but this
0:13:30 > 0:13:33is no time for showboating, Ali, get on with it, come on!
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Sucker Punch is waiting.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Oh, it's making mincemeat out of the kebab man.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45I took no pleasure or joy from seeing a muscley man
0:13:45 > 0:13:46fall in the mud.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Ha! Serves him right. On to the Big Balls now.
0:13:48 > 0:13:52If anyone can conquer them, surely it's a big muscley guy like Ali.
0:13:55 > 0:13:56Maybe not.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Time for the Cradles Of Doom.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06Muscle and sinew versus foam and chipboard. He's on to the first.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Actually, this is looking good.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11- Oh, second cradle is in the bag. - Yes!
0:14:11 > 0:14:15Just one jump to go.
0:14:15 > 0:14:20Oh, that's a swim and a climb.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22That was so hopeful. Never mind, Ali,
0:14:22 > 0:14:24that fall has cost you some time,
0:14:24 > 0:14:26but you still finished in a very respectable
0:14:26 > 0:14:28three minutes and four seconds.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Hey!
0:14:31 > 0:14:32Yeah!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Yeah, a big finish now, Ali.
0:14:37 > 0:14:41I do try to do like "jiggedy biggedy diggedy bop,"
0:14:41 > 0:14:44but I done like "jiggedy biggedy splash." That is...
0:14:44 > 0:14:47That is the fun, isn't it?
0:14:47 > 0:14:50I'm sorry, can we run through that one again? Cos I'm lost. I...
0:14:50 > 0:14:54- "Jiggedy biggedy diggedy bop." - Yeah(!)
0:14:54 > 0:14:57- "Jiggedy biggedy splash." - Still not...
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Yeah! Look at that, pure Turkish delight! Oh, don't do that.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07So, right now the leaderboard looks a little bit like this.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11Gilly in the Box is first, in second place it's Jiggedy Big Ali,
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Matt The Airport is third,
0:15:13 > 0:15:17Riverdance Chris is fourth, Bingo Mandy is fifth
0:15:17 > 0:15:21and Barking Mark is currently lying last.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25So far then, in this brand new series, six contestants have shown
0:15:25 > 0:15:29us their strength, their dignity and their muddied backsides.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32Mostly it's just been the muddied backsides. More, please!
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Meet 23 year old nightclub bouncer from Teesside - Jill.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41Her name is on the list, so she's got in.
0:15:41 > 0:15:47OK, so, imagine I'm standing between you and the big red balls,
0:15:47 > 0:15:49I've had a couple of drinks, what are you going to do?
0:15:49 > 0:15:50OK.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Whoa! Steady! Get off her!
0:15:54 > 0:15:57And that's why I took the comfy indoor role on this show.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00I'm going to bounce my way round this course! Whoo!
0:16:02 > 0:16:04And she's off. There... There she goes.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06She's still off down the slide.
0:16:06 > 0:16:07She's still... She's still going.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Jill The Bouncer needs to build up a bit of momentum there. Yeah.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14Maybe... Maybe it's a water thing, I don't know.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17There... There! Come on, Jill.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20She's in a spot of bother, now.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Don't worry, help is at hand.
0:16:27 > 0:16:31Bring on the Total Wipeout lifeguards -
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Eduardo and his cousin, who's also called Eduardo.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37Buy one, get one free. These guys are the best in the business in Argentina.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41They're fit, they're happy to wear snug fitting wetsuits and they're very cheap.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45David Hasselhoff, eat your heart out. But they're also quite strong.
0:16:48 > 0:16:53Thanks. Thanks. Can I go now? Can I go?
0:16:53 > 0:16:55So, now Jill's been rescued,
0:16:55 > 0:16:59let's see how she does on the first obstacle.
0:16:59 > 0:17:00Well, when she gets there.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Oh, dear, I've a feeling this could take a while.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Let's come back to Jill later.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Quite a lot later.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12This is Adam from Glossop.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14- Yeah!- Yeah! He sells fruit and veg.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17Let's go for it, come on! Yeah, baby!
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Hence the chirpy demeanour.
0:17:19 > 0:17:23Yeah. Easily across the first Traplonk.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27The second, now. Oh, great start!
0:17:27 > 0:17:30That must have been a banana skin.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32That'll teach him.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Let's have it!
0:17:35 > 0:17:36He is not hanging around.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Look at that, straight in...
0:17:38 > 0:17:41oh, the water. Straight down.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44Maybe Adam can strain his beans while he's in there.
0:17:44 > 0:17:45That's not a euphemism for anything,
0:17:45 > 0:17:48I just mean actually literally strain some beans.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50He's going up the apples and pears.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53That's Cockney rhyming slang for ladder.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57The Cradles Of Doom, now.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Adam Apple's on to the first.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03And the second. Now, the final jump.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06Can Adam Apple join the select one who's made it across today?
0:18:06 > 0:18:11- Yes, he can. And in a one, 56 time overall, brilliant.- Yeah, baby!
0:18:11 > 0:18:14What a fantastic run from Adam Apple.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18He still has his fruit and veg perfectly intact.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21Right, back to Jill, who is soldiering on now and
0:18:21 > 0:18:25showing some of that great British spirit that makes us all so proud.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27This may not be the fastest time over the course,
0:18:27 > 0:18:29but it's a perfect example of true grit.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31You go, Jill, you go!
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Let's go soon, Jill. Oh, dear, oh.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38That was a stunning reverse dismount,
0:18:38 > 0:18:40which is sadly useless on The Qualifier.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42Best leave her there for a while.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Now, sometimes Total Wipeout gets
0:18:44 > 0:18:49accused of being a little bit old fashioned, but I can assure you that we have street cred,
0:18:49 > 0:18:54oh, yes, and just to prove it our next three contestants are da bomb,
0:18:54 > 0:19:00they are bad, which is the new good, and they're sick, and I don't mean they've been swallowing the water.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06First up on the mic it's Sherika. Hit it!
0:19:06 > 0:19:08SHE RAPS: I'm faster than a bullet. I sting like a bee.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10The other contestants ain't got nothing on me.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Ah, respect, Sherika.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16Now big it up for Anna from da mean streets of Cardiff.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18SHE RAPS: I used to run. I'm going to ruin this course.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20You won't be rescuing me.
0:19:20 > 0:19:25That was the shizzle! Next up, Nat is on the ones and twos.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29SHE RAPS: I'm Nattie, I'm batty, I'm scatty, I'm quirky.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Let's do this, don't hurt me.
0:19:32 > 0:19:36OK, freestyle. And, finally, Kim's in da house.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38SHE RAPS: I mean, I'm keen, I'm the Wipeout machine!
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Kim, that was bad.
0:19:40 > 0:19:41Yeah!
0:19:41 > 0:19:43As in really, really terrible.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46OK, let's see if these girls can run better than they can rap.
0:19:46 > 0:19:52# Yo, pretty ladies around the world Got a weird thing to show you
0:19:52 > 0:19:54# So tell all the boys and girls
0:19:54 > 0:19:58# Tell your brother, your sister and your mama, too
0:19:58 > 0:20:00# Cos they're about throw down
0:20:00 > 0:20:02# And you know just what to do
0:20:02 > 0:20:05# Wave your hands in the air Like you don't care
0:20:05 > 0:20:11# Glide by the people as they start to look and stare
0:20:11 > 0:20:15# Do your dance, do your dance Do your dance quick
0:20:15 > 0:20:19# Mama, come on, baby Tell me what's the word
0:20:19 > 0:20:23# Word up Everybody say
0:20:23 > 0:20:27# When you hear the call You've got to get it underway
0:20:27 > 0:20:32# Word up It's the code word
0:20:32 > 0:20:36# No matter where you say it You'll know that you'll be heard
0:20:36 > 0:20:40# Now all you sucker DJs Who think you're fly
0:20:40 > 0:20:45# There's got to be a reason And we know the reason why... #
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Well, the good news is they all finished the course.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51The better news is they're all out of breath and can no longer rap.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56I think I need my inhaler.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00If you thought those kids were cool, then check out this dancing diva.
0:21:00 > 0:21:06Now, this hot mover is 27-year-old Sam from Boston in Lincolnshire. He seems to have hurt his ankle.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10I don't know, does that mean he's sick, as well? Ah, I'm getting confused.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Yabba-dabba-doo!
0:21:15 > 0:21:17- Ooh, that was impressive!- Really?
0:21:17 > 0:21:22On to the Traplonk now. Come on then, twinkle toes, let's Traplonk.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26In slow motion, you can quite clearly see where he went wrong.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30It was when he just fell in the mud.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Technically. On to the Big Balls now.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34The Motivator ready, but not needed.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Yes, yes! No!
0:21:37 > 0:21:41No. A for effort!
0:21:41 > 0:21:43I'm soaking after that.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49OK, a bit of a dunk, a bit of a swim.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Just... Oh.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Just the Cradle to beat now.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Oh, brilliant!
0:21:55 > 0:21:59Light-footed across those two. The pressure is on now.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Oh! Right in the mush! That is going to smart.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06- Yeah, well, oh...- Oh, my God.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Ah, I thought his head had come off!
0:22:11 > 0:22:15I think he just let the imprint of his teeth on the top of that podium.
0:22:15 > 0:22:19Sam puts in a cracking effort and completes The Qualifier
0:22:19 > 0:22:22in a very respectable 3 minutes 26.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Unlike Jill, who, after nine and a half minutes
0:22:25 > 0:22:27is still battling the course, but not giving up.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30You go, Jill! Show them what you're made of.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33Now attempting to climb a ladder!
0:22:33 > 0:22:36- Aaah!- Urgh! Well, it was tough.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Now, um hmm...
0:22:38 > 0:22:39Argh!
0:22:39 > 0:22:42- God damn it! - I don't know what to say.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44I reckon it might be time once again
0:22:44 > 0:22:46for those boys in snug-fitting wetsuits.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48It's lifeguard o'clock!
0:22:48 > 0:22:53Crikey! That's beyond the call of duty, there. There's no extra pay.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00You wouldn't catch David Hasselhoff doing THAT! Maybe he's a vet, I don't know.
0:23:00 > 0:23:05Finally, in a time of 16 minutes and 44 seconds, Jill The Bouncer reaches
0:23:05 > 0:23:09the finish zone with the slowest time ever in Total Wipeout history.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13I did it!
0:23:13 > 0:23:16There was two things I had to be helped on.
0:23:16 > 0:23:21I don't know where his hands were going, but he certainly... They certainly disappeared somewhere!
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Time now for another look at the leaderboard.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Adam Apple's pick of the crop in first place.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31Gilly In The box is second, Jiggedy Big Ali's third,
0:23:31 > 0:23:35followed by Matt The Airport, Dancing Sam and Riverdance Chris.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39The three rappers are next, then it's Bingo Mandy, MC Anna
0:23:39 > 0:23:40and, finally, Barky Mark.
0:23:42 > 0:23:48Well, Jill may have put in an epic performance, but she just misses out on a place in the next round.
0:23:48 > 0:23:55Only the 12 fastest qualifiers will go through, so let's waste no time and meet the next eager contender.
0:23:55 > 0:24:01Well, let's waste just a little bit of time. There you go.
0:24:01 > 0:24:06Hang on a second, isn't that Sunbed Jonny from last series? He's back for another go.
0:24:08 > 0:24:09Haven't we met before?
0:24:09 > 0:24:12It was my brother. I believe he was called Sunbed Jonny.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Here's Jonny!
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Yeah, and there's his twin brother, Jeremy.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21The only difference between those two is that Jeremy
0:24:21 > 0:24:24uses a bit of fake tan, while Jonny uses wood stain.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27I'm doing this for you, Sunbed Jonny!
0:24:27 > 0:24:32The course might have beat you, but it's not going to beat me! Come on!
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Ah, brotherly love.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38That is quite moving, strangely. So Jeremy's got a lot to prove today,
0:24:38 > 0:24:42not just about the competition, it's also about sibling rivalry.
0:24:42 > 0:24:46- A good start as he charges off towards the Traplonks.- Come on!
0:24:46 > 0:24:51Oh, yes! Oh, almost.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55There you go.
0:24:55 > 0:24:56He's Traplonked.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00- I love Big Balls.- Yes! - I love Big Balls!
0:25:00 > 0:25:03OK, thanks for sharing. You'll regret that.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05OK, and he's off.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Oh.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12Jeremy falls off the Big Balls with surprising confidence.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14There's a lot of technique involved in falling in...
0:25:14 > 0:25:16In the water like that. It's not, you know...
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Ah, it's easy, gravity does it.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21Last year Sunbed Jonny blew it spectacularly on the final obstacle,
0:25:21 > 0:25:24so let's take a look at that moment again, just for the fun of it.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27Aaah!
0:25:27 > 0:25:28Surely Jeremy can do better.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32He's up against the Cradles Of Doom. Come on Jonny... I mean Jeremy.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34Safely on to the first.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38And on to the second.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45And he's nailed it!
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Yes! Come on!
0:25:47 > 0:25:51Yeah! That's a fantastic run by Not-Jonny-Jeremy.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53He's finished in 1 minute 54 seconds,
0:25:53 > 0:25:56beating his brother's time by over a minute.
0:25:56 > 0:26:01I dedicate that to you, Sunbed Jonny. Let's hope I get through to the next round.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Oh, I'd take that as a definite, Jeremy.
0:26:03 > 0:26:09Let's get a move on with this next group, who all think they bring something physical to the course.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11They're pumped up and raring to go.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15Meet Detective Inspector Danny.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18This is Total Wipeout, but this cop's no cop-out.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Your balls are mine!
0:26:20 > 0:26:21Keep-fit fanatic Janey.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24They say it's not about the winning,
0:26:24 > 0:26:31it's about the taking part. That's for losers, and I'm a winner. There can only be one.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Outdoor studies lecturer Nicki.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37If obstacles are in your path, enjoy all the obstacles.
0:26:37 > 0:26:38And John...
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Aargh!
0:26:40 > 0:26:45Who seems to be some kind of pirate. That'll be useful.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52So far, my money's on the pirate.
0:27:02 > 0:27:07Oh, a bit of role reversal here, the pirate being forced to walk the plank.
0:27:07 > 0:27:08Here's Janey.
0:27:10 > 0:27:14Oh, no! Oh, not this again!
0:27:14 > 0:27:15It's... Yeah, stop.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Oh, just.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21And there she goes again.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24Yeah, yeah,
0:27:24 > 0:27:26yeah, yeah.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28Just get on with it! OK, she's away.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31- Yes!- Yeah, we're all relieved.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Detective Inspector Dan is on the job now.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35# He's a hot cop... #
0:27:35 > 0:27:38He'll be glad we played this for him.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41# People say that I'm a dancing machine
0:27:41 > 0:27:43# Cos he's a hot cop... #
0:27:43 > 0:27:45He's done it!
0:27:45 > 0:27:46Yes!
0:27:46 > 0:27:48OK, the Sucker Punch now.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51Punching a copper obviously not illegal in Argentina.
0:27:53 > 0:27:58How will an outdoor activities instructor tackle the Big Balls?
0:27:58 > 0:27:59Yep.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01Oh! Oh!
0:28:01 > 0:28:04I think she probably enjoyed that.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06Pirate John now.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09Scrambling about in Davy Jones' Locker.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12Gym Bod Janey now.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14Disappointing.
0:28:14 > 0:28:17Surely DI Danny can get across the Balls?
0:28:18 > 0:28:19Aaargh!
0:28:19 > 0:28:22No. What's the matter with Janey?
0:28:22 > 0:28:24Has she given up?
0:28:24 > 0:28:25Get your breath.
0:28:27 > 0:28:32- Probably just a bit of wind.- Yeah, that can happen, it's the exertion.
0:28:32 > 0:28:36Just the Cradles Of Doom now. I love this obstacle.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38Nicki clearly doesn't.
0:28:38 > 0:28:40Here's John.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43Where are your sea legs now then, pirate?
0:28:43 > 0:28:46Oh, in the water.
0:28:46 > 0:28:49Come on, DI Danny, show them how it's done.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52Oh, on to the first.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56And the second. Oh!
0:28:56 > 0:29:00This replay is dedicated to all the boys back at the station.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05And it's all over. Nifty Nicki posts 2 minutes 4,
0:29:05 > 0:29:08and DI Danny makes it in 2 minutes 35,
0:29:08 > 0:29:10closely followed by John The Pirate, 2.47,
0:29:10 > 0:29:12and Gym Bod Janey brings up the rear,
0:29:12 > 0:29:15literally, in 3 minutes 56.
0:29:15 > 0:29:17Yes!
0:29:17 > 0:29:20Next it's 23-year-old Georgie from Gloucester.
0:29:22 > 0:29:25She's already making a splash with our lifeguard Eduardo.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27He's besotted. He's smitten.
0:29:27 > 0:29:31Most of all, he's after a UK passport.
0:29:31 > 0:29:36Don't underestimate me. I love fairies, cupcakes...
0:29:36 > 0:29:38and danger.
0:29:38 > 0:29:43Wow! Eduardo likes fairies and cupcakes, too, but not danger.
0:29:43 > 0:29:47Right, let's see how much Georgie likes the very dangerous Traplonk.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52She's on.
0:29:52 > 0:29:54She's still on.
0:29:55 > 0:29:57Oh, she loves it. She's cleared it.
0:29:57 > 0:29:59On to the Big Balls now.
0:29:59 > 0:30:02Georgie could do with a little spring in her step.
0:30:03 > 0:30:07Oh, that was a lucky miss for the lucky Miss.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10Not the best Georgie's ever looked, I suspect.
0:30:10 > 0:30:15Eduardo's not fussy though - a fiance visa is a fiance visa.
0:30:15 > 0:30:18Swim, Georgie, swim! Too late, he's got you.
0:30:18 > 0:30:23Well, if Georgie doesn't win today, at least she'll be going home with something.
0:30:23 > 0:30:27# I'm in the mood for love... #
0:30:27 > 0:30:33Time now for the final contestant, 34-year-old Marcel, who's a teacher from Wales.
0:30:33 > 0:30:39But Marcel's no ordinary teacher. No, he's the Head Of Science.
0:30:39 > 0:30:41# The Head Of Science! #
0:30:41 > 0:30:44So, just what goes on inside the Head Of Science?
0:30:44 > 0:30:46Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48So the chicken did come first. Oh, dear.
0:30:48 > 0:30:53Well, can Monsieur Marcel and his boffin brain beat the Big Balls?
0:30:54 > 0:30:55First, up the ramp.
0:30:58 > 0:31:01He's safely on to one.
0:31:01 > 0:31:02Oh, yeah!
0:31:02 > 0:31:05Ah, that's two.
0:31:05 > 0:31:08This... This is looking good.
0:31:09 > 0:31:12Come on, Marcel, one ball left.
0:31:12 > 0:31:14Can he?
0:31:14 > 0:31:17Yes! Incredible, Monsieur Marcel is the first Total Wipeout
0:31:17 > 0:31:19competitor this series to comp...
0:31:19 > 0:31:21Oh, dear, my mistake, he's fallen off.
0:31:21 > 0:31:24Still, I'm sure his pupils will go easy on him(!)
0:31:26 > 0:31:29So near, yet so wet.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32It was heartbreaking, but quite funny for us.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35Can Marcel redeem himself on the Cradles Of Doom?
0:31:35 > 0:31:37Safely on to one.
0:31:37 > 0:31:38Come on.
0:31:41 > 0:31:42Making the leap. He's on to two now.
0:31:42 > 0:31:45Just one small step left for Marcel.
0:31:47 > 0:31:53And one giant source of ridicule for his pupils to enjoy back at school.
0:31:53 > 0:31:56The man of science finishes in three minutes dead.
0:31:56 > 0:31:59No, he's not really dead, it's just three minutes exactly.
0:31:59 > 0:32:04So, in first place on the final leaderboard it's Not-Jonny-Jeremy,
0:32:04 > 0:32:08Adam Apple's second, Nifty Nicki's third, DI Danny's fourth,
0:32:08 > 0:32:09"Aargh" John's sixth,
0:32:09 > 0:32:11Jiggedy Big Ali is eighth,
0:32:11 > 0:32:16Dancing Sam's 10th and Gym Bod Janey just makes it in 12th place.
0:32:16 > 0:32:21And that marks the end of an epic qualifier, where 12 victorious Brits
0:32:21 > 0:32:24have fought their way to a place in the next round.
0:32:24 > 0:32:26Am I overstating this?
0:32:26 > 0:32:31But, for now, let's spare a thought for the mud-spattered, dazed and eliminated eight.
0:32:33 > 0:32:38# Don't let yourself go
0:32:41 > 0:32:45# Cos everybody cries
0:32:49 > 0:32:53# Everybody hurts
0:32:54 > 0:32:57# Sometimes
0:32:57 > 0:33:02# Hold on
0:33:02 > 0:33:08# Hold on Hold on
0:33:10 > 0:33:12# Hold on
0:33:12 > 0:33:16# Hold on
0:33:16 > 0:33:22# Hold on Hold... #
0:33:22 > 0:33:24Right then, let's move on.
0:33:24 > 0:33:29Coming next is the all-new Crash Mountain, and I must warn you, this is not for the fainthearted.
0:33:29 > 0:33:34We found that out the hard way. It was horrible.
0:33:41 > 0:33:44In the beginning, there was The Sweeper.
0:33:44 > 0:33:47Fast, cruel and deadly,
0:33:47 > 0:33:52attacking its prey without mercy, and one by one they fell,
0:33:52 > 0:33:57but all creatures must evolve.
0:33:57 > 0:34:03Now, there is a new breed - more powerful, more dangerous, more terrifying.
0:34:03 > 0:34:08Few will survive, many will fall.
0:34:08 > 0:34:11This is Crash Mountain.
0:34:11 > 0:34:13Actually, that is genuinely impressive, isn't it?
0:34:13 > 0:34:16I'm terrified watching.
0:34:16 > 0:34:20So, essentially, it's a jump from the podium on to the platform, and a run to the centre.
0:34:20 > 0:34:23Simple! Although, of course, the platform is rotating.
0:34:23 > 0:34:27And there's another arm that swings to knock them off. Two, actually.
0:34:27 > 0:34:28Other than that, a piece of cake!
0:34:28 > 0:34:33Every time a contestant falls off they must climb back up on to any podium and try it again.
0:34:33 > 0:34:37The first five to the centre will qualify for the next round. Got it?
0:34:37 > 0:34:40This is who's playing Crash Mountain.
0:34:40 > 0:34:42On podium one it's Dancing Sam.
0:34:42 > 0:34:47# I'm going to whomp and stomp and a-whoop it up today! #
0:34:47 > 0:34:50Yeah! On podiums two and three, it's Not Jonny Jeremy.
0:34:50 > 0:34:52# I'm the devil in disguise
0:34:52 > 0:34:53# Oh, yes, I am. #
0:34:53 > 0:34:55And Gilly In The Box.
0:34:55 > 0:34:58Look out, boys, the girls are going to spring up and surprise you all!
0:34:58 > 0:35:02Yep! On four and five it's Monsieur Marcel,
0:35:02 > 0:35:06- and Matt The Airport. - I'm doing this for the underdogs!
0:35:06 > 0:35:08On six, it's Adam Apple.
0:35:08 > 0:35:11Jeremy, you might be top banana in The Qualifier,
0:35:11 > 0:35:13but there's no room for bad apples on my pitch!
0:35:13 > 0:35:18- On seven, eight, nine and ten it's Riverdance Chris.- Yes!
0:35:18 > 0:35:20DI Danny,
0:35:20 > 0:35:21Gym Bod Janey,
0:35:21 > 0:35:22and Jiggedy Big Ali.
0:35:22 > 0:35:26And, finally, on 11 and 12, it's Nifty Nicki and "Aargh" John.
0:35:26 > 0:35:30- I'm the best at what I do! - Yeah, which is sounding like a pirate, essentially.
0:35:30 > 0:35:35The Argentinian air is awash with the stench of fear, The Stench Of Fear Pour Homme.
0:35:35 > 0:35:39It's my new cologne, bought it at the airport. Anyway, where are we?
0:35:39 > 0:35:44Ah, yes, there are 12 competitors on their podiums but, believe me, only temporarily.
0:35:44 > 0:35:47Let's rejoin Amanda to get the action underway.
0:35:47 > 0:35:53Ain't no mountain high enough to keep this lot from winning £10,000. It's Crash Mountain.
0:35:53 > 0:35:56- Are you all ready?- Oh, yeah!
0:35:56 > 0:35:59Oh, let's do it. Three, two, one!
0:36:00 > 0:36:02And we're off.
0:36:02 > 0:36:06Sam's first to have a go. Oh, never mind, he can climb back up and try again.
0:36:06 > 0:36:10Jeremy now, going for it. ten out of ten for trying.
0:36:10 > 0:36:15One, two, that's two steps further than Sam got, I'd say.
0:36:15 > 0:36:17OK, Jiggedy Big Ali is going for it now.
0:36:17 > 0:36:21- Ooh!- Wipeout!
0:36:21 > 0:36:25I think that's the first time on this show that "wipeout" has really been used in context.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28He was just wiped out.
0:36:28 > 0:36:30Matt, now just biding his time.
0:36:32 > 0:36:35Ali runs, Nicki runs. Oh, desperation!
0:36:35 > 0:36:38Look at that, pure poetry in motion.
0:36:38 > 0:36:42A short, harrowing, wet sort of poem, specifically.
0:36:42 > 0:36:46OK, now Marcel's on. Hang on in there.
0:36:46 > 0:36:52He makes the leap, a little kiss, and stays low.
0:36:52 > 0:36:54He needs to get to his feet now, though.
0:36:54 > 0:36:58Ooh, oh! That was excruciatingly close.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04John's on now, and Gilly's joined him.
0:37:04 > 0:37:06This has just turned into some sort of dating show, I...
0:37:08 > 0:37:13OK. "Aargh" John's doing a runner and, oh, ho ho! No, he's off.
0:37:14 > 0:37:18John's spliced his mainbrace! All the better for Gilly, though.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21Will she be the first across?
0:37:21 > 0:37:22Come on, Gilly, come on!
0:37:24 > 0:37:25Oh, she's going to make it!
0:37:25 > 0:37:29Oh, no! Oh, that's harsh. Adam Apple sends her plummeting.
0:37:30 > 0:37:34And, look, Adam's the first to cross, so it can be done! Brilliant!
0:37:34 > 0:37:35Yeah, baby!
0:37:35 > 0:37:40Here comes Sam. He's the second to make it through.
0:37:40 > 0:37:43Sam just saw an opening there, made a run for it, straight across.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45All in the timing, That was brilliant.
0:37:47 > 0:37:51Two men through to the next round now, and here comes Danny.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56Oh, that's awkward. Jeremy's joined him.
0:37:56 > 0:38:00- Man sandwich!- OK. No, Amanda, it's just two slices of man bread.
0:38:00 > 0:38:03There's no filling, technically. Danny's getting up now.
0:38:03 > 0:38:06Oh, and Danny's done it, with a little helping hand.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09Nicki doesn't want to be left out.
0:38:11 > 0:38:12Look at that!
0:38:12 > 0:38:16Big Ali goes for Nicki's leg, but she manages to hang on. Unbelievable!
0:38:16 > 0:38:20And, look, Jeremy's over. Four through, just one place left now.
0:38:20 > 0:38:23One more. Just one more!
0:38:25 > 0:38:26Come on, Nicki!
0:38:30 > 0:38:32No, no! She's off.
0:38:32 > 0:38:35That was so close.
0:38:36 > 0:38:40There's only one place left up for grabs now,
0:38:40 > 0:38:41and eight people still fighting for it.
0:38:41 > 0:38:45Chris, Matt The Airport, who hasn't even moved a muscle yet,
0:38:45 > 0:38:51Gym Bod Janey, Marcel, Ali, Nicki, "Aargh" John and Gilly In The Box.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56Janey makes a brief cameo in the background.
0:38:56 > 0:38:59Is it too little too late from Janey?
0:39:00 > 0:39:05Yes, it is. Gilly In The Box has made it. We have our final five.
0:39:05 > 0:39:06Yeahhhh!
0:39:06 > 0:39:11Either she's very happy, or we need to send a medic in there, and quick.
0:39:11 > 0:39:17So, as the elated five celebrate on Crash Mountain, spare a thought for the seven sad losers.
0:39:17 > 0:39:20Cue some sad music or something.
0:39:23 > 0:39:25There's a lot of luck involved in the game and,
0:39:25 > 0:39:28you know, perhaps luck just wasn't with me today.
0:39:32 > 0:39:34I'm a little bit frustrated,
0:39:34 > 0:39:37but I'm still, you know, an action man, still.
0:39:38 > 0:39:42I really thought I had a good chance because, actually it didn't look
0:39:42 > 0:39:44that far away, but it's harder than it looks.
0:39:46 > 0:39:48I think I touched it, I'm not sure,
0:39:48 > 0:39:50when I went off I touched the top one,
0:39:50 > 0:39:53but I was caught by the bar, so... Can I go again?
0:39:53 > 0:39:57I don't know, it just went all wrong,
0:39:57 > 0:39:59but never mind.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05There can only be so many winners.
0:40:05 > 0:40:08I'd just like to wish them well. Good luck to them.
0:40:10 > 0:40:14I've seen everybody else fall off and I was just too scared to move.
0:40:14 > 0:40:17I was a bit wimpy on that bit.
0:40:17 > 0:40:19Well, it's probably for the best, Matt,
0:40:19 > 0:40:22because look what's coming next,
0:40:24 > 0:40:26it's Dizzy Dummies.
0:40:26 > 0:40:30First everyone gets spun for 45 seconds in the Magic Roundabout,
0:40:30 > 0:40:34then they have to stagger their way through an elasticised maze of misery
0:40:34 > 0:40:38known as the Bungee Frame, that's new!
0:40:38 > 0:40:40Next they must traverse The Blob, that's also new,
0:40:40 > 0:40:44or the Super Crazy Beams, which are like the normal Crazy Beams,
0:40:44 > 0:40:50but super in some unspecified way, before finally reaching the podium.
0:40:50 > 0:40:55The game is run twice, and each time the last person to finish is eliminated.
0:40:55 > 0:41:01It's time to sort the men from the boys, and the Gillian from the men and the boys, I think. Amanda.
0:41:01 > 0:41:05Oh, it's beautiful and calm out here today,
0:41:05 > 0:41:10- but not for long - it's Dizzy Dummies! Are you ready?- Yes.
0:41:10 > 0:41:13- Whoo!- I say let's spin them!
0:41:13 > 0:41:15Three, two, one!
0:41:18 > 0:41:21Make those dummies dizzy!
0:41:21 > 0:41:23So, just who am I calling dummy?
0:41:23 > 0:41:28- Well, there's him.- Yeah!- It's gregarious greengrocer Adam Apple.
0:41:28 > 0:41:30Nice one, baby! Yeah, baby!
0:41:30 > 0:41:34- And then there's him. - Yabba-dabba-doo!
0:41:34 > 0:41:37Old twinkle toes himself, Dancing Sam.
0:41:37 > 0:41:42- And her.- I'm going to jump up and surprised you all.
0:41:42 > 0:41:45Yeah, just don't give her any more sugar. It's Gilly In The Box.
0:41:45 > 0:41:49Next to her it's him.
0:41:49 > 0:41:51Your balls are mine!
0:41:51 > 0:41:54DI Danny, detecting and inspecting.
0:41:54 > 0:41:57Last, and quite possibly least, it's him.
0:41:57 > 0:41:59I'm doing this for you, Sunbed Jonny.
0:41:59 > 0:42:03Sunbed Jonny's twin brother, it's Not-Jonny-Jeremy.
0:42:05 > 0:42:09Right, that's enough of that. And they are off,
0:42:09 > 0:42:12just watch them go.
0:42:12 > 0:42:17Not-Jonny-Jeremy is first on to the rotating Bungee Frame,
0:42:17 > 0:42:22and Adam Apple's mounted a reverse attack on Jeremy.
0:42:22 > 0:42:25Adam Apple makes a dash for it,
0:42:25 > 0:42:28and he's first on to The Blob,
0:42:28 > 0:42:31opting for the caterpillar technique and it appears to be working.
0:42:31 > 0:42:33Jeremy's also on now.
0:42:33 > 0:42:37One jump left for Adam Apple.
0:42:37 > 0:42:38And he's over already!
0:42:38 > 0:42:40That was fast!
0:42:40 > 0:42:43Ah, it's one pound of fruit and veg.
0:42:43 > 0:42:49A spectacular jump and Adam's home and dry, for now.
0:42:49 > 0:42:52- Come on, Gill!- So, who'll be next to cross?
0:42:52 > 0:42:53Oh, Jeremy's across!
0:42:55 > 0:42:58Dancing Sam is a quick step behind.
0:43:00 > 0:43:03And he's across. Now, there's only one place left.
0:43:03 > 0:43:06It's between Gilly In The Box and DI Danny.
0:43:06 > 0:43:09Amazingly, no-one's fallen off The Blob yet.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13- Danny's in, and Gilly's out.- Aww!
0:43:15 > 0:43:17What happened?
0:43:17 > 0:43:20My strategy was to let the boys fight it out amongst themselves,
0:43:20 > 0:43:25and they really didn't do much of that, did they? They were just, "Boom, boom, boom."
0:43:25 > 0:43:29Gillian, you were our only hope of having a woman in the final, too.
0:43:29 > 0:43:34God, I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to let everybody down. Sorry, everybody!
0:43:36 > 0:43:41So, next in store for Danny, Adam, Sam and Jeremy,
0:43:41 > 0:43:46it's a sense of deja vu, tinged with tiredness, rapidly giving way to nausea.
0:43:48 > 0:43:51I think Sam's fallen asleep. It's not the time!
0:43:55 > 0:43:57OK, and they are off.
0:43:57 > 0:44:02Like a man who's twice his age, and quite badly inebriated,
0:44:02 > 0:44:04Jeremy wobbles towards the Bungee Frame.
0:44:04 > 0:44:06Adam's safety helmet's broken.
0:44:06 > 0:44:08Eduardo must be scrimping on the sticky tape again.
0:44:08 > 0:44:12OK, Adam's got a clear run at the Super Crazy Beams now.
0:44:12 > 0:44:15He was first across the Blob, can he do it again?
0:44:15 > 0:44:19Oh, his old foe Jeremy is catching up fast.
0:44:19 > 0:44:24Meanwhile, Dancing Sam's taking a weekend break in those bungee cords.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27Adam, now making steady progress.
0:44:27 > 0:44:30Those beams are slippery.
0:44:30 > 0:44:34Now everyone's on the beams and taking their time,
0:44:34 > 0:44:36nobody wants to fall at this stage.
0:44:37 > 0:44:40- Oh, but Adam has! - Oh, Adam!
0:44:41 > 0:44:43Just couldn't get a grip.
0:44:43 > 0:44:47It's bobbing time for that apple, plus a swim back to the start.
0:44:47 > 0:44:48The other three are still dry.
0:44:48 > 0:44:51Remember, the last one across is out.
0:44:52 > 0:44:54Jeremy looks so determined!
0:44:54 > 0:44:57Yeah, and is making excellent progress,
0:44:57 > 0:45:00but tiredness may be starting to take its toll.
0:45:00 > 0:45:05Not-Jonny-Jeremy stands, wobbles quite a lot and prepares for the leap
0:45:05 > 0:45:08that could take him into the Wipeout Zone. Yes, he's through!
0:45:08 > 0:45:11Come on! Come on!
0:45:11 > 0:45:14That final leap could have gone very wrong,
0:45:14 > 0:45:17but fortune favours the brave, and perhaps people called Jeremy.
0:45:21 > 0:45:23Come on! Get in!
0:45:23 > 0:45:28Two places left in the final. And Sam's down so close to the end,
0:45:28 > 0:45:31that means a long swim back to the start.
0:45:35 > 0:45:40DI Danny now inspecting the finish line. Oh, he slips!
0:45:40 > 0:45:42But, yes, he has done it.
0:45:42 > 0:45:48That was an action finish and the long arm of the law came in very handy.
0:45:48 > 0:45:49So, it's between Sam,
0:45:49 > 0:45:52who's just fallen in again, and Adam Apple now.
0:45:52 > 0:45:55One is about to be eliminated.
0:45:55 > 0:45:58Adam, very nearly there.
0:45:58 > 0:46:02He's made it, and left Sam eating dust.
0:46:02 > 0:46:06Soapy, wet, foam-flavoured dust, I guess.
0:46:06 > 0:46:08You won't be playing it again, will you, Sam?
0:46:08 > 0:46:10No, not at all. Loved it, though.
0:46:10 > 0:46:13All right, darling, hard luck. We'll see you later.
0:46:13 > 0:46:16So, Sam and Gillian are out of the competition,
0:46:16 > 0:46:19but they can return to Britain with their heads held high,
0:46:19 > 0:46:22by the plastic neck braces they'll be wearing.
0:46:22 > 0:46:24But for Adam Apple, DI Danny and Not-Jonny-Jeremy,
0:46:24 > 0:46:27things are about to get very interesting,
0:46:27 > 0:46:31because one of them will be crowned Total Wipeout champion.
0:46:31 > 0:46:35They're all hungry for victory, and that ten grand prize.
0:46:42 > 0:46:45I like danger.
0:46:45 > 0:46:48Moderated danger.
0:46:48 > 0:46:49I thrive on it.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52My Wipeout journey's been really, really exciting,
0:46:52 > 0:46:56and it's probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life as well.
0:46:58 > 0:47:03To get to the Wipeout Zone, you've got to believe in yourself that you can win, and of course I can win.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05I'm going to win. I'm going to do my best to win.
0:47:08 > 0:47:13Adam - confident, yeah, very confident, very cocky with it.
0:47:13 > 0:47:14Let's have it!
0:47:14 > 0:47:16I think I've got the looks,
0:47:16 > 0:47:19I've got the fitness and, you know, I've got the confidence.
0:47:19 > 0:47:23Lovely smile, but I intend to wipe it off his face tonight.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25Danny's very concentrated.
0:47:25 > 0:47:27He's one to watch. He's a dark horse.
0:47:27 > 0:47:30He's a copper, you know, a copper in the final's good.
0:47:30 > 0:47:32Let's see if he's fit enough.
0:47:35 > 0:47:36Jeremy's cocky and I'm cockier.
0:47:36 > 0:47:38Come on!
0:47:38 > 0:47:43They have been full of themselves. It's been the Adam And Jeremy Show, to be quite honest.
0:47:43 > 0:47:45Credit where it's due, Jeremy won The Qualifier,
0:47:45 > 0:47:49but we're back to square one again now, anybody could win this.
0:47:49 > 0:47:51We'll be friends before we go in the Wipeout Zone.
0:47:51 > 0:47:55When we enter the Wipeout Zone, I haven't got one friend in the world.
0:47:55 > 0:47:57Of course I can win Total Wipeout.
0:47:57 > 0:47:59I'm going to win.
0:47:59 > 0:48:00I know right from wrong,
0:48:00 > 0:48:04and the right thing is that I win this tonight.
0:48:04 > 0:48:08I can almost taste the testosterone.
0:48:08 > 0:48:10Vanilla, who'd have thought?
0:48:10 > 0:48:12It's almost time for the all-new Wipeout Zone now.
0:48:12 > 0:48:15What's new about it? Well, you are about to find out.
0:48:15 > 0:48:17Ummm, testosterone.
0:48:22 > 0:48:24So, before the battle commences,
0:48:24 > 0:48:29let's take a look at what perils lie ahead in the all-new Wipeout Zone.
0:48:29 > 0:48:33First, the Killer Surf, then a swim to the first new obstacle,
0:48:33 > 0:48:36the Rapid Climb, where contestants battle an onslaught
0:48:36 > 0:48:40of ice cold Argentinian water to climb up a slope.
0:48:40 > 0:48:47Ten seconds in, an enormous tidal wave is released, so they'd better get a move on.
0:48:47 > 0:48:50There's an all-new Balance Beam to master,
0:48:50 > 0:48:52before tackling the brand-new Crazy Sweeper.
0:48:52 > 0:48:58Speed and agility are key, because it's a long way down.
0:48:58 > 0:49:02The all-new Tarzan Swing is unlike anything you've ever seen before,
0:49:02 > 0:49:05unless you happen to be familiar with Tarzan, hence the name.
0:49:05 > 0:49:12And, finally, it's one last jump on to the all-new finishing podium where the all-new clock will stop.
0:49:12 > 0:49:15Actually, the podium and clock aren't new at all.
0:49:15 > 0:49:18We saved money there. Fastest man wins, simple as that.
0:49:18 > 0:49:21There's real excitement here in the studio right now,
0:49:21 > 0:49:25cos someone just saw Keith Chegwin in the car park.
0:49:25 > 0:49:29On an entirely separate note, it's finally time for the Wipeout Zone.
0:49:29 > 0:49:33Buckle up, this could be quite a ride. Amanda, it's over to you.
0:49:33 > 0:49:40Brand new Wipeout Zone - different obstacles, same excitement, and first to go is Adam.
0:49:42 > 0:49:46Greengrocer Adam Apple is first to attempt the new, improved Wipeout Zone.
0:49:46 > 0:49:50- Wipeout, baby, yeah! - And off he goes.
0:49:55 > 0:49:59Oh, steady landing and now a quick swim to the Rapid Climb.
0:50:03 > 0:50:06Adam's got to pull himself up through those rapids,
0:50:06 > 0:50:11then scale that watery climb. And, remember, he's against the clock.
0:50:11 > 0:50:15Those flashing blue lights mean the countdown has started.
0:50:15 > 0:50:18Adam's only got ten seconds before the tidal wave is unleashed.
0:50:18 > 0:50:23Adam, pick up the pace, it's going to get worse! Oh, no, here it comes!
0:50:27 > 0:50:29It's Niagara Falls up there!
0:50:29 > 0:50:33Adam just doing his best to hold on,
0:50:33 > 0:50:34but he is.
0:50:35 > 0:50:37Come on, Adam.
0:50:38 > 0:50:39He's at the top now,
0:50:39 > 0:50:42but Adam needs to get a move on if he's going to set a commanding time.
0:50:45 > 0:50:47The Balance Beam - not only is it very slippery,
0:50:47 > 0:50:48it's also very narrow,
0:50:48 > 0:50:53but Adam's made that look very easy.
0:50:53 > 0:50:56The next challenge is the Crazy Sweeper.
0:50:57 > 0:51:00Adam makes his move.
0:51:00 > 0:51:03He's going to have to duck now.
0:51:03 > 0:51:07Oh, that Crazy Sweeping arm will be back round very soon.
0:51:07 > 0:51:09He's got to run faster, faster. It's... Oh!
0:51:10 > 0:51:15Adam's in the water. He tried to outrun the Crazy Sweeper, but it had other ideas.
0:51:15 > 0:51:18That little delay won't help Adam's bid for the title.
0:51:20 > 0:51:23Now it's on to the Tarzan Swing.
0:51:23 > 0:51:26He makes his move.
0:51:26 > 0:51:28Oh, and Adam falls short.
0:51:28 > 0:51:32- Oh!- Another mistake, another delay.
0:51:32 > 0:51:36This new Wipeout Zone is proving pretty tough so far.
0:51:36 > 0:51:40Adam using up every last bit of strength.
0:51:40 > 0:51:43He's got to climb up on to the turntable.
0:51:43 > 0:51:44Oh, he's struggling.
0:51:44 > 0:51:48Yeah, he will be. As soon as he's up it'll start spinning again.
0:51:48 > 0:51:52One jump between Adam and the finishing post now.
0:51:52 > 0:51:54And he's there in 2 minutes 30.
0:51:54 > 0:51:57Wipeout, baby!
0:51:57 > 0:52:01So the Crazy Sweeper and the Tarzan Rope got the better of Adam Apple,
0:52:01 > 0:52:03but 2 minutes 30 is still a very strong time.
0:52:03 > 0:52:09The other two finalists will have to do something special to beat him on this tough new Wipeout Zone.
0:52:09 > 0:52:13- Wipeout, baby, yeah! - Ooh, how was that for you? You did really well.
0:52:13 > 0:52:14Thanks a lot. It was amazing.
0:52:14 > 0:52:17I took a few hits, but I think I did all right.
0:52:17 > 0:52:22Your time was a respectable 2 minutes and 30 seconds. How does that sound?
0:52:22 > 0:52:24That sounds all right to me.
0:52:24 > 0:52:25And next is Danny.
0:52:25 > 0:52:27Oh, here we go!
0:52:29 > 0:52:33Time for Detective Inspector Danny to get on the case.
0:52:42 > 0:52:46That landing looked painful, but Danny's off,
0:52:46 > 0:52:50and swimming his way to the Rapid Climb.
0:52:50 > 0:52:52He's only got ten seconds to get a clear run up,
0:52:52 > 0:52:54so he's going to have to get moving.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58Now he's moving in the wrong direction!
0:52:58 > 0:53:01Oh, no, that's not good, a tidal wave is imminent.
0:53:01 > 0:53:05Three, two, one, here it comes.
0:53:08 > 0:53:12Yeah, that's just turned DI Danny into Incey Wincey Spider.
0:53:12 > 0:53:14You're happy, aren't you?
0:53:14 > 0:53:16Danny's been washed all the way back to square one.
0:53:18 > 0:53:22- Come on, Danny(!) - Yeah, some earnest, sportsmanlike support there from Adam.
0:53:25 > 0:53:27OK, it's take two for Danny.
0:53:27 > 0:53:30Here we go. Oh, no, not again!
0:53:30 > 0:53:33- I think I've got this in the bag, Amanda.- You never know.
0:53:34 > 0:53:37Yeah, well, Adam would have won already if this were
0:53:37 > 0:53:40a smuggest man competition, but it's not.
0:53:40 > 0:53:43Danny's made it up the Rapid Climb and is on to the Balance Beam,
0:53:43 > 0:53:45but with the clock ticking away Danny's...
0:53:45 > 0:53:50already lost, not that he knows that, he hasn't seen the other run.
0:53:50 > 0:53:52The Crazy Sweeper now.
0:53:52 > 0:53:55Oh!
0:53:55 > 0:53:59Danny's assault on the Crazy Sweeper never really got started.
0:53:59 > 0:54:03Knocked off very early.
0:54:03 > 0:54:05The Tarzan Swing now.
0:54:05 > 0:54:07Aww-ee-ooh!
0:54:07 > 0:54:11How terribly helpful, Adam.
0:54:11 > 0:54:12No!
0:54:14 > 0:54:21DI Danny hauls himself on to the turntable, then one final jump
0:54:21 > 0:54:24and he's home in 5 minutes 55.
0:54:24 > 0:54:27- Do you think he beat me? - The lowest form of wit, that.
0:54:27 > 0:54:32DI Danny's hopes of winning today were washed away on the Rapid Climb.
0:54:32 > 0:54:39Those early mistakes ate up lots of both time and energy, but it was a brave run, nevertheless.
0:54:39 > 0:54:43Oh, Danny, my darling, come here. That was not an easy ride, was it?
0:54:43 > 0:54:45That was a difficult ride, Amanda.
0:54:45 > 0:54:49I think you lost your energy at the very beginning, that's where it all kind of went downhill.
0:54:49 > 0:54:51Yeah, no, you're right.
0:54:51 > 0:54:53- Adam was faster.- Well done, mate.
0:54:53 > 0:54:56- Good man.- Well done, mate. - You know what this means.
0:54:56 > 0:55:00This means I'm in the top two, Amanda, and I'm really excited.
0:55:00 > 0:55:03You're still in with a chance, but Jeremy is fantastic, and he's next.
0:55:03 > 0:55:07I don't underestimate him, he beat me by two seconds in The Qualifier. He's got every chance.
0:55:10 > 0:55:15So, last to go it's not Jonny, it's his brother Not-Jonny-Jeremy.
0:55:23 > 0:55:28And Jeremy's bid to wipe that smug look off Adam's face begins.
0:55:28 > 0:55:30That's a quick swim, there.
0:55:30 > 0:55:32He's under there somewhere.
0:55:32 > 0:55:35Once he gets up, he's going to be good.
0:55:35 > 0:55:38Well, he's up.
0:55:38 > 0:55:41Oh, Jeremy putting the rapid into Rapid Climb right now.
0:55:41 > 0:55:43It looks like he might just beat the tidal wave.
0:55:45 > 0:55:48And he has. This is a strong start.
0:55:48 > 0:55:50On to the Balance Beam.
0:55:50 > 0:55:51Oh!
0:55:51 > 0:55:54Jeremy, concentrating hard, trying to stay calm.
0:55:54 > 0:55:57Remember, he has no idea what time he has to beat.
0:55:57 > 0:55:58Oh!
0:55:58 > 0:56:00All he knows is he's got to give it everything.
0:56:00 > 0:56:03And he's across. This is looking good.
0:56:03 > 0:56:05Crazy Sweeper now.
0:56:05 > 0:56:07Very nimble stuff.
0:56:07 > 0:56:09First class ducking.
0:56:09 > 0:56:12He's up again, and down again.
0:56:12 > 0:56:14He's got eyes in the back of his head!
0:56:14 > 0:56:18Jeremy could make it all the way, now. Hurry up, Jeremy!
0:56:18 > 0:56:22Yes, he's defeated the Crazy Sweeper.
0:56:23 > 0:56:26The Tarzan Swing now. No, straight into the water!
0:56:26 > 0:56:30That was a moment of genius on the Crazy Sweeper,
0:56:30 > 0:56:34then a moment of madness on the Tarzan Swing.
0:56:35 > 0:56:36Oh, no!
0:56:36 > 0:56:40Well, you're right to be worried, because this is very close.
0:56:40 > 0:56:44And it's all over in 2 minutes 20 seconds.
0:56:44 > 0:56:48A fantastic run by Not-Jonny-Jeremy, great stamina throughout.
0:56:48 > 0:56:53He shaved ten seconds off Adam's time, but neither of them know that yet.
0:56:53 > 0:56:56It's time for Amanda to reveal the winner.
0:56:56 > 0:57:00Come and join me, please, young man.
0:57:00 > 0:57:02Come over here. Talk to me.
0:57:02 > 0:57:04What's going through your head?
0:57:04 > 0:57:08Emotions. Tiredness.
0:57:08 > 0:57:10Everything. This guy is going through my head.
0:57:10 > 0:57:13He's been in my head for two days.
0:57:13 > 0:57:14He's done my head in!
0:57:14 > 0:57:16He's a nutter!
0:57:16 > 0:57:21I tell you what, you two are so competitive and you two are so incredibly close tonight.
0:57:21 > 0:57:25Adam was absolutely brilliant, Jeremy,
0:57:25 > 0:57:29and I know that Sunbed Jonny, your brother, was here and didn't win,
0:57:29 > 0:57:32but I can tell you right now, you have. You are the Total Wipeout champion!
0:57:38 > 0:57:40Jeremy? Did you hear Amanda?
0:57:40 > 0:57:43You've won! Well, what's he doing?
0:57:43 > 0:57:48Oh, I feel a bit awkward now.
0:57:48 > 0:57:51Well, it's a celebration, well done!
0:57:51 > 0:57:54Yeah, go.
0:57:54 > 0:57:57So, well done to operations director Jeremy Kemp,
0:57:57 > 0:58:02who will return to Lancashire with 10,000 little reasons to be happy with himself.
0:58:02 > 0:58:06Pounds. That's £10,000, I was trying to say it in a cool way. Never mind.
0:58:06 > 0:58:09He is the first winner of the new series.
0:58:09 > 0:58:14So, today's competition is over, but join me next time when there'll be more new stuff like this.
0:58:16 > 0:58:17Some of this.
0:58:18 > 0:58:20And quite a lot of this.
0:58:22 > 0:58:24From Amanda and me, goodbye.
0:58:24 > 0:58:27Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:58:27 > 0:58:30E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk