Episode 3

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0:00:04 > 0:00:06Buenos Aires, South America.

0:00:06 > 0:00:09Still 7,000 miles from home.

0:00:09 > 0:00:1420 fearless Brits, including a can-can teacher, a play supervisor

0:00:14 > 0:00:20and a magistrate have travelled to Argentina to test their mettle on some rubber and foam.

0:00:20 > 0:00:2319 will fall over a lot and fail,

0:00:23 > 0:00:28but one will fall over a lot and succeed, and walk away with £10,000.

0:00:30 > 0:00:32Let the games begin.

0:00:35 > 0:00:41Welcome once again to the show that some people are calling the greatest TV programme on the planet.

0:00:41 > 0:00:45Though admittedly those people all work for the BBC press department.

0:00:45 > 0:00:47And they've just been fired.

0:00:47 > 0:00:53Today, 20 fresh competitors will boldly go where approximately 400 Britons have gone before.

0:00:53 > 0:00:56Time now to take a look at the course that some other people

0:00:56 > 0:01:00are calling the most entertaining challenge known to mankind.

0:01:00 > 0:01:02Thanks, Mum. Here is how it's going to work.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06The Qualifier. El qualifico.

0:01:06 > 0:01:07Crash Mountain.

0:01:07 > 0:01:10El accidente de montagna.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13Dizzy Dummies. El dummy de seriousio injurio.

0:01:14 > 0:01:17And the grand finale, the Wipeout Zone.

0:01:17 > 0:01:20El rondo de grande tragedea.

0:01:20 > 0:01:25So, the course is ready, the competitors are ready and my co-host Amanda Byram's ready.

0:01:25 > 0:01:28So as soon as I'M ready, we can get started.

0:01:31 > 0:01:33Come on, Hammond. Get in the zone!

0:01:33 > 0:01:34HE EXHALES

0:01:34 > 0:01:37Yep, I'm ready. Let's go.

0:01:42 > 0:01:45I'm joined at the top of the Qualifier by Kirsty from Northampton.

0:01:45 > 0:01:47What do you do for fun?

0:01:47 > 0:01:51For fun? I have a personal trainer and I also volunteer as a jog leader.

0:01:51 > 0:01:55We go round the park, and I motivate everybody to come out jogging.

0:01:55 > 0:01:58Well, on that note, Kirsty - jog on.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00OK, I will do.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02She's a leader. Should I follow her?

0:02:03 > 0:02:08I've got three lions on my shirt, I've got two eyes on the prize and there's only one winner, baby.

0:02:08 > 0:02:11It's England 1, Argentina 0!

0:02:11 > 0:02:14Yeah - so Kirsty kicking off with a brilliant football analogy.

0:02:14 > 0:02:18Let's hope she doesn't get thrashed, as her first obstacle today

0:02:18 > 0:02:20is the brand-new Rake In The Face.

0:02:20 > 0:02:23What does that mean, actually?

0:02:23 > 0:02:24And Kirsty's off.

0:02:24 > 0:02:28Can she make her way across the rakes?

0:02:28 > 0:02:30No. No, she can't.

0:02:30 > 0:02:32What Kirsty doesn't know

0:02:32 > 0:02:36is some of the rakes aren't actually nailed down, and that slightly

0:02:36 > 0:02:39underhand tactic makes the current score England 0, Argentina 1.

0:02:41 > 0:02:4433-year-old Kirsty is a football development manager.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47I think that means she blows up footballs.

0:02:47 > 0:02:48Careful.

0:02:50 > 0:02:53Game of two halves, these rakes. Now here's a chance to equa...lise.

0:02:55 > 0:02:59Argentina 2, and a yellow card for diving.

0:03:00 > 0:03:02She looks happy. I don't know why.

0:03:02 > 0:03:04Bend It Like Kirsty takes the slower, more watery route

0:03:04 > 0:03:06to the next obstacle.

0:03:06 > 0:03:10Yes, it's old faithful, the Sucker Punch.

0:03:10 > 0:03:15Kirsty needs to dodge 22 pneumatic boxing gloves. Here we go.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18Time is of the essence to qualify for the next round.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20Come on, Kirsty.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22Good dodging.

0:03:24 > 0:03:27Oh... Ow! Yeah.

0:03:27 > 0:03:31That was dirty. Not so much the hand of God, more the fist of God.

0:03:31 > 0:03:32That's 3-0.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40That mud proving a tricky customer, as per usual.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43Not as tricky as the next obstacle.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45Yup - it's the Big Balls.

0:03:45 > 0:03:52- DRAMATIC MUSIC - Yeah... Yeah... Yeah...

0:03:52 > 0:03:54OK, come on, that's enough now.

0:03:54 > 0:03:57Stop that. Just... There we go.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00Up the ramp, and a chance for Kirsty to show off her ball skills.

0:04:00 > 0:04:03Flaming Nora! Oh my gosh...

0:04:05 > 0:04:08Hang around too long, and this might happen.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11Kind of encourages them to get a move on.

0:04:11 > 0:04:14Yeah. Actually quite a good idea.

0:04:14 > 0:04:16Here we go...

0:04:16 > 0:04:18Ooh. She's on the second ball.

0:04:18 > 0:04:22Come on, Kirsty. England might just make a comeback here.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27Yes... Oh!

0:04:30 > 0:04:32Oh - Kirsty so close to scoring, but as it stands,

0:04:32 > 0:04:36it's England 0, Argentina 4.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40Remember, the clock keeps ticking so Kirsty needs to be

0:04:40 > 0:04:43as quick as she can getting over to the final obstacle.

0:04:44 > 0:04:48- BOOMING VOICE: - 'The Cradles of Doom!'

0:04:48 > 0:04:50That's just silly.

0:04:50 > 0:04:52It is just a skip over the cradles

0:04:52 > 0:04:54to the finish podium where the clock stops.

0:04:54 > 0:04:59This would be easy if these were ordinary cradles, but they are...

0:04:59 > 0:05:01'The Cradles of Doom!'

0:05:01 > 0:05:03Who is that? It's just...

0:05:03 > 0:05:06Kirsty's on to the first.

0:05:06 > 0:05:09It's a late charge but can she score a consolation goal?

0:05:09 > 0:05:11Come on, do it for the Three Lions...

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Ooh...

0:05:14 > 0:05:18So near. All she needs now is to jump on to the finish podium.

0:05:18 > 0:05:19Come on, Kirsty...

0:05:20 > 0:05:23Yes - on to the podium. Yes, yes...

0:05:24 > 0:05:25Really no! Ever so no.

0:05:25 > 0:05:29No. Looks like she's entered injury time.

0:05:29 > 0:05:33Oh. That's England 0, Argentina 5.

0:05:34 > 0:05:37After that thrashing, Kirsty climbs to the finish podium

0:05:37 > 0:05:39in a time of 3:27.

0:05:39 > 0:05:43- But will that be enough for her to qualify for the next round?- Made it!

0:05:43 > 0:05:44- You did.- Yes!

0:05:46 > 0:05:51The second contestant today is Total Wipeout's first-ever hobbit.

0:05:51 > 0:05:54Playing for you today the air ukulele is Jack Bilbo Clayton.

0:05:55 > 0:05:59# Bilbo Baggins, the bravest little hobbit of 'em all... #

0:06:00 > 0:06:04- Is that really your real name? - That is my actual name, yes.

0:06:04 > 0:06:07It's on my passport, so it's official. That's my name.

0:06:07 > 0:06:08Well...

0:06:08 > 0:06:10"good luck, Precious".

0:06:10 > 0:06:13I think that was a Gollum impression from Amanda. Yeah.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15Voice was quite close.

0:06:15 > 0:06:18OK, Bilbo's quest has begun.

0:06:18 > 0:06:22Ooh. That is great work from our hairy hobbit friend.

0:06:22 > 0:06:24Second set of rakes now.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28Oh! He's found the loose one.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31It looks like he took that right in the...in the precious.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33Let's hope hobbits can swim.

0:06:33 > 0:06:35Yes, they can.

0:06:35 > 0:06:36The Sucker Punch now.

0:06:36 > 0:06:41This should be nothing compared to fighting all those...elf things.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44The Sucker Punch really warming up.

0:06:44 > 0:06:46That one just missed his goblins.

0:06:49 > 0:06:51Look at his little hobbit face.

0:06:51 > 0:06:52In the mud.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55Right. It's Big Ball time.

0:06:55 > 0:06:58Come on. Live the dream. Come on.

0:06:58 > 0:07:02Yeah, live the dream. Just do it quickly, that motivator's waiting.

0:07:02 > 0:07:05Ooh, yes. Oh...

0:07:06 > 0:07:10Not so much a dream... it's a nightmare.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13Recurring nightmare. Again, and again...

0:07:13 > 0:07:16Hobbits aren't good at that.

0:07:18 > 0:07:22On to the Cradles. Bilbo well ahead of Kirsty at this point.

0:07:23 > 0:07:25On to the first quite smoothly.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30Harder than it looks, this. Must be. Looks quite easy.

0:07:33 > 0:07:35Comfortably on to the second.

0:07:35 > 0:07:37Just one more jump to complete the trilogy...

0:07:37 > 0:07:39Come on Bilbo, this is all about timing.

0:07:39 > 0:07:41- Oh, Bilbo. - And...saving Middle Earth.

0:07:41 > 0:07:44That's Mordor or something, I don't know.

0:07:44 > 0:07:46Oh... No, that wasn't it.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52Despite that clanger, Bilbo finishes in a time of 3:06,

0:07:52 > 0:07:56which in hobbit time is about...seven days.

0:07:56 > 0:07:58There's the air ukulele briefly again there.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01Right, who's this? It's getting clearer...

0:08:01 > 0:08:05Ah, yes, it's tarot card-reading Helen from Essex.

0:08:05 > 0:08:08What do the cards predict for you today?

0:08:08 > 0:08:11I shouldn't leave behind what is safe and secure

0:08:11 > 0:08:15- in search of an impossible dream.- Ooh.

0:08:15 > 0:08:17That's just stuff.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19# To dream the impossible dream... #

0:08:19 > 0:08:23Helen ignoring the tarot cards, and she's staying on the rakes.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25Found the loose one but stayed on.

0:08:25 > 0:08:27# To fight the unbeatable foe... #

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Fortune seems to be favouring Helen.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35She's laughing in Fate's face.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38And getting hit in the face with a rake.

0:08:38 > 0:08:39Yeah.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42# This is my quest... #

0:08:42 > 0:08:46Properly in the face. Come on Helen, this is stirring stuff.

0:08:46 > 0:08:49She seems to be making Destiny her own.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52Even if the dream is impossible, it's not going to stop her...

0:08:52 > 0:08:54I can't keep this stuff up.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56On to the Sucker Punch.

0:08:56 > 0:08:58Oh, that's bad luck.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01Seven years' bad luck.

0:09:01 > 0:09:03The impossible dream just got impossibler.

0:09:06 > 0:09:10This man is wearing a mystical headband of illusion.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12Look at my guns.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14- You're allowed to touch.- I'll pass.

0:09:14 > 0:09:21This is Darren Brown. So, like his nearly-namesake, can Darren produce extraordinary illusions?

0:09:22 > 0:09:23No. Probably not.

0:09:23 > 0:09:26Any special skills you've got going on for out there?

0:09:26 > 0:09:29I can't swim and I'm scared of heights, but...should be OK, I think.

0:09:31 > 0:09:32Do you know what show this is?

0:09:32 > 0:09:34# Illusion... #

0:09:34 > 0:09:39My name's Darren Brown. And be under no illusion I'm going to wipe out this Wipeout course.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41He must have seen a form or something.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43Using his powers of foresight,

0:09:43 > 0:09:45Darren knows exactly what's going to happen next.

0:09:45 > 0:09:48No. He didn't foresee that particular rake.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51Never mind. If, like his nearly namesake,

0:09:51 > 0:09:53Darren can predict lottery numbers,

0:09:53 > 0:09:57he can predict which one of these rakes is going to flip up.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01Oh... Yeah, missed that one.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04Ooh, no, he's lost his headband of illusion.

0:10:05 > 0:10:08Yeah, if you look here, this is the moment of disaster.

0:10:10 > 0:10:11Clean off.

0:10:11 > 0:10:13He'd lost the headband.

0:10:13 > 0:10:15I fear for him now, virtually powerless.

0:10:15 > 0:10:21Without it, Darren returns to being an ordinary mortal like you or me.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23Well - you, obviously.

0:10:24 > 0:10:28He's back up. Let's see how he can do as a normal human being.

0:10:28 > 0:10:31No. It's impossible. It's never going to work.

0:10:37 > 0:10:41- Come on!- Yes. I think I'll come back to Darren.

0:10:41 > 0:10:46I'm joined now at the top of the Qualifier by Chris, who's an events manager from Essex.

0:10:46 > 0:10:50Chris, how do you feel about taking on the wrath of the Qualifier here today?

0:10:50 > 0:10:53I'm a pro, so it shouldn't take too much problem at all.

0:10:53 > 0:10:56Chris is a professional events manager. Phew -

0:10:56 > 0:10:59there's nothing worse than an amateur events manager.

0:10:59 > 0:11:03So let's see how he manages the Rake In The Face.

0:11:04 > 0:11:05Oh!

0:11:05 > 0:11:07Yeah.

0:11:07 > 0:11:11Well done, Chris. Consider that event managed. Professionally.

0:11:11 > 0:11:13Yeah - you see, an amateur would mess that up,

0:11:13 > 0:11:17that bit where his head bent back and then he fell in the water.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20Right, the Sucker Punch.

0:11:20 > 0:11:23Let's hope Chris manages this as professionally as he did the rakes.

0:11:27 > 0:11:28He's on. Yes....

0:11:29 > 0:11:30Oh.

0:11:32 > 0:11:34If you want your events managed this well,

0:11:34 > 0:11:35I have a business card you can borrow.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38It's a bit muddy, but...you can still read it.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40(LAUGHS)

0:11:40 > 0:11:44Right, back to Darren Brown and his missing headband of illusion.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46- Come on...! - Come on, man of illusion.

0:11:46 > 0:11:50Can he cross the Big Balls with only his mortal powers? I think he can.

0:11:55 > 0:11:57That's indigestion that face, it's not pain.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59- Come on, Miranda. - He's got a nickname for himself,

0:11:59 > 0:12:02- I'm not so sure now.- Come on...!

0:12:02 > 0:12:03Ooh, I can't watch.

0:12:03 > 0:12:07Watch out for the motivator. It's going to... OK, move!

0:12:07 > 0:12:10Yeah. That's half a ball cleared.

0:12:11 > 0:12:16Right, meet 39-year-old David, who is a massive fan of William Shakespeare.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20See?

0:12:21 > 0:12:23I have a passion for Shakespeare.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25The Bard's words lift my heart.

0:12:25 > 0:12:29Aaah... To qualify or not to qualify, David?

0:12:29 > 0:12:31- That is the question.- Indeed.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34I dance, I run, I fall. I expect.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36Was that The Clash?

0:12:36 > 0:12:38# Boldly brave Sir Dave

0:12:38 > 0:12:40# Rode forth to save the day

0:12:40 > 0:12:42# He was not afraid

0:12:42 > 0:12:45# Brave, brave Sir Dave

0:12:45 > 0:12:46# He wasn't afraid of the scary rakes

0:12:46 > 0:12:49# Or scuffing his elbow or smacking his face... #

0:12:49 > 0:12:51Oh, Lord!

0:12:52 > 0:12:54Oh, David.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57There is a fine line between comedy and tragedy, and he crossed it then.

0:12:57 > 0:12:59# Boldly brave Sir Dave

0:12:59 > 0:13:02# Rode forth to save the day

0:13:02 > 0:13:03# He was not afraid... #

0:13:03 > 0:13:06Verily, brave Sir Dave doth look in need of a chest x-ray.

0:13:06 > 0:13:11# He wasn't afraid of the scary rakes, of bursting his eyeball

0:13:11 > 0:13:14# Or snapping his kneecap or stabbing his nostril

0:13:14 > 0:13:18# Or scratching his finger or burning his... #

0:13:20 > 0:13:25What would Shakespeare do now? Give up, I reckon.

0:13:25 > 0:13:29The rakes are causing havoc today. None of the contestants know

0:13:29 > 0:13:31which of them is loose and which is fixed -

0:13:31 > 0:13:33so what's needed is someone who just goes for it.

0:13:33 > 0:13:38Someone who doesn't think of the consequences. A real animal.

0:13:38 > 0:13:42Could 20-year-old Sarah from Cumbria be that person?

0:13:43 > 0:13:46Yeah. Yeah, she can be. Yeah.

0:13:46 > 0:13:50I'm going to swim like an ostrich and run like a seal!

0:13:50 > 0:13:52Hang on, did she just... Can we rewind that?

0:13:54 > 0:13:58I'm going to swim like an ostrich and run like a seal!

0:13:58 > 0:14:01Yeah, she did say swim like an ostrich and run like a seal.

0:14:01 > 0:14:04That's a shame. She would be better running like an ostrich and...

0:14:04 > 0:14:07OK, let's see what running like a seal looks like.

0:14:07 > 0:14:11Oh. Right. That's why you hardly ever see them do it in the wild.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13Let's go to the leaderboard.

0:14:13 > 0:14:16Six runners have been through the Qualifier, 14 still to come.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19And at the moment, brave, brave Sir Dave is in the lead,

0:14:19 > 0:14:23followed very closely by Bilbo and high priestess Helen.

0:14:23 > 0:14:25Sarah is fourth, Pro Chris is fifth

0:14:25 > 0:14:28and Bend It Like Kirsty in danger of relegation.

0:14:31 > 0:14:34Oh, look who it is. It's Darren Brown - I'd forgotten about him.

0:14:34 > 0:14:38Darren no longer has his headband of illusion. But he's not giving up.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40Come on, Darren!

0:14:40 > 0:14:42Oh, yes. A fine sight.

0:14:43 > 0:14:44To someone.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46DRUM ROLL

0:14:48 > 0:14:50Yes! He's on. He does look tired, though.

0:14:50 > 0:14:53Let's just hope the rocking doesn't send him off to sleep.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55Come on, Darren...

0:14:55 > 0:14:57Come on. Come on...

0:15:00 > 0:15:02No rush. No, opposite of that -

0:15:02 > 0:15:04there's quite a lot of rush. Darren, there's a rush.

0:15:04 > 0:15:06Rush. Come on...

0:15:06 > 0:15:08DRUM ROLL

0:15:09 > 0:15:10Oh.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13I shouldn't have rushed him.

0:15:13 > 0:15:16Darren makes it to the end with a time of 5:56.

0:15:16 > 0:15:21I suspect he may not qualify with that, but he's a winner in my eyes.

0:15:22 > 0:15:25How do you feel after that? Is that a silly question?

0:15:25 > 0:15:28I'm er...ready for the final now, I think.

0:15:28 > 0:15:31A bit of rest and recuperation, and I'll be there.

0:15:31 > 0:15:35You lost your headband early on. I'm thinking that's where your powers lay.

0:15:35 > 0:15:38That's where it went wrong. I need it to keep the hair out of my eyes.

0:15:38 > 0:15:42I feel I should apologise for the poor form of today's competitors.

0:15:42 > 0:15:46I won't, of course, cos it's not my fault, but I feel I should.

0:15:46 > 0:15:49Is there no one who can tame the Qualifier today?

0:15:49 > 0:15:51What's required here is someone incredible.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54Someone amazing.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57My name's Amy. You might spell it A-M-Y,

0:15:57 > 0:15:59but I spell it A-mazing.

0:15:59 > 0:16:04Wow, I love this! I just ask for stuff, and it appears. Brilliant.

0:16:04 > 0:16:05Helicopter made of gold.

0:16:06 > 0:16:08No? Nothing.

0:16:08 > 0:16:11Probably wouldn't have worked anyway.

0:16:11 > 0:16:13Here's Amazing Amy at the balls -

0:16:13 > 0:16:17and by the looks of her, it's not been all that amazing up till now.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19Here we go.

0:16:19 > 0:16:22Oh! And that's more than made up for it.

0:16:22 > 0:16:24It was magnificent.

0:16:24 > 0:16:29A step, a slip, a flying V...and a splash.

0:16:29 > 0:16:32A-mazing.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35- Oh... It was amazing.- Yeah.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37My time must just have been amazing.

0:16:37 > 0:16:41I was amazingly, er...

0:16:41 > 0:16:44not very quick. That's the amazing part.

0:16:44 > 0:16:46I would love to get to the next round. Amazing.

0:16:46 > 0:16:49Oh, it was just an amazing experience.

0:16:49 > 0:16:52Now, this is Danni from Blackburn. She's a figure skating champion.

0:16:52 > 0:16:55I'm going to skate across this finish line.

0:16:55 > 0:16:57Then there's Hannah from Runcorn.

0:16:57 > 0:17:01She's won at Crufts. Obviously not her - her dog.

0:17:01 > 0:17:03Let this dog...show YOU.

0:17:03 > 0:17:06And this is Jonny from Bury.

0:17:06 > 0:17:08Second place is first LOSER!

0:17:08 > 0:17:11He won a drawing competition - when he was eight years old.

0:17:11 > 0:17:15That's all right, I swam a width once. I got a certificate and everything.

0:17:15 > 0:17:19So the burning question is can these three champions utilise

0:17:19 > 0:17:23their unique skills to conquer the Total Wipeout course?

0:17:23 > 0:17:27Or at least provide an entertaining montage? Let's find out.

0:17:27 > 0:17:30# Oh, I got a sheet for my bed and a pillow for my head

0:17:30 > 0:17:32# I got a pencil full of lead and some water for my throat

0:17:32 > 0:17:35# I got buttons for my coat, sails on my boat

0:17:35 > 0:17:37# So much more than I needed before

0:17:37 > 0:17:39# I got money in the meter and a two-bar heater

0:17:39 > 0:17:41# Now it's getting hotter, oh, it's only getting sweeter

0:17:41 > 0:17:44# I got legs on my chairs and a head full of hair

0:17:44 > 0:17:46# A pot and a pan and some shoes on my feet

0:17:46 > 0:17:48# I got a shelf full of books, and most of my teeth

0:17:48 > 0:17:51# A few pairs of socks and a door with a lock

0:17:51 > 0:17:56# I got food in my belly and a licence for my telly and nothing's going to bring me down

0:18:06 > 0:18:08# Nothing's gonna bring me down. #

0:18:08 > 0:18:11Interesting Total Wipeout fact for you here:

0:18:11 > 0:18:14There are just five man-made structures visible from space.

0:18:14 > 0:18:17One of them is the Great Wall of China.

0:18:17 > 0:18:21The other four are the Big Red Balls. Yup, true.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23# But best of all

0:18:23 > 0:18:27# I've got my baby... #

0:18:27 > 0:18:29So, what else have I learned?

0:18:29 > 0:18:31Crufts winner Hannah isn't Best in Show,

0:18:31 > 0:18:33with a time of 3:02.

0:18:34 > 0:18:37Jonny almost creates a masterpiece in 2:39.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41It's tens all round for Ice Ice Danni -

0:18:41 > 0:18:46the fastest so far today with 2:37.

0:18:46 > 0:18:5050-year-old Dean is a builder from Darlington, and he's got a little secret.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53Quite a big little secret.

0:18:53 > 0:18:56He swore me to secrecy, but don't you worry, Dean -

0:18:56 > 0:18:59my lips are sealed, I won't tell a soul. Not a word.

0:18:59 > 0:19:02# As long as the wheels are turnin'... #

0:19:02 > 0:19:05Amanda - I'm doing this for you!

0:19:05 > 0:19:09Oh, right. Dean's secret isn't very secret any more. He loves Amanda.

0:19:09 > 0:19:11What he needs is a cold dip.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14- # And I would do... # - That should calm things down.

0:19:14 > 0:19:17I'm not sure Amanda's all that impressed.

0:19:17 > 0:19:19Oh, poor Dean.

0:19:19 > 0:19:22"Dean the Builder - can I jump it?" That speaks for itself.

0:19:22 > 0:19:24Yes, it does.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26What does the back say?

0:19:26 > 0:19:28"Dean the Builder - yes I can!"

0:19:28 > 0:19:30Where did you get that line from?

0:19:30 > 0:19:33Just made it up, really. Just something...

0:19:33 > 0:19:34I just made it up really.

0:19:34 > 0:19:38It's been on the telly for like, 20 years, hasn't it?

0:19:38 > 0:19:40I think he's hoping to wear her down.

0:19:40 > 0:19:44Can Dean the Builder win back Amanda's respect

0:19:44 > 0:19:46by crossing the Cradles of Doom?

0:19:46 > 0:19:47That'd do it if he can.

0:19:47 > 0:19:50He's on to the first. Oh...

0:19:50 > 0:19:54Spectacular reverse head-slap off the second.

0:19:54 > 0:19:58- # Yeah, I'd die for you... # - He's trying.

0:19:58 > 0:20:01Dean, it's really important to make a girl laugh.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04- And you did that. - I'm right here waiting for you.

0:20:04 > 0:20:07Love does indeed conquer all, as Dean smashes his way

0:20:07 > 0:20:09to the top of the leaderboard.

0:20:09 > 0:20:12Amanda - I've done that for you.

0:20:12 > 0:20:14Don't forget your wife, Dean.

0:20:14 > 0:20:15Oh, you have. OK.

0:20:16 > 0:20:19That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.

0:20:19 > 0:20:21Thank you.

0:20:21 > 0:20:26I was dying to say that earlier on, but...I never got t'chance.

0:20:26 > 0:20:30I've spent weeks and weeks, learning

0:20:30 > 0:20:33- all these little things all about yourself.- I'm a bit scared now.

0:20:33 > 0:20:36- "PSYCHO" VIOLINS - OK, time to move on.

0:20:37 > 0:20:41Next is 36-year-old martial arts enthusiast Lee from Omagh.

0:20:41 > 0:20:45Using performance dance, Lee is saying "Hello, Argentina."

0:20:45 > 0:20:48You may have seen Kung Fu Panda. You ain't seen Kung Fu Lee.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51I'm going to take this on kung fu style-Lee!

0:20:51 > 0:20:55That was actually disappointing. I hope his run is better.

0:20:59 > 0:21:01Wow. And it is!

0:21:02 > 0:21:06Oh - bit of trouble on the second set, but he's holding on...

0:21:06 > 0:21:08and he's across.

0:21:08 > 0:21:11Using the medium of dance, Lee is now claiming that he'll have

0:21:11 > 0:21:13no problems crossing the Cradles of Doom.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16So, can he be true to his word?

0:21:16 > 0:21:19Come on, Lee. The cradles await.

0:21:19 > 0:21:23Oh, he's on to the first one, this is going to be something special...

0:21:28 > 0:21:31Yeah, neither pretty nor special in the end.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33Those cradles!

0:21:33 > 0:21:36Nevertheless, Precise-Lee is the fastest so far

0:21:36 > 0:21:38in an incredible 2:11.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40Let's see who's next.

0:21:40 > 0:21:44There ain't no mountain high enough, there ain't no valley low enough.

0:21:44 > 0:21:47And there ain't no obstacles hard enough to stop ME from winning.

0:21:47 > 0:21:50This is Junior, age 23.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53Unbelievably, he's one of the youngest magistrates in the UK.

0:21:59 > 0:22:01Didn't judge that very well.

0:22:01 > 0:22:03No.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05Junior's got very modest goals.

0:22:05 > 0:22:09For example, when he grows up, he wants to change the world.

0:22:12 > 0:22:17One day I hope to be the Prime Minister of Great Britain. So aiming as high as I can, you know.

0:22:17 > 0:22:22- What's the first thing you would do? - Probably just drive round and wave at people.

0:22:24 > 0:22:25That's brilliant.

0:22:25 > 0:22:28He's confusing the Prime Minister with the Queen,

0:22:28 > 0:22:31but he has reached the cradles in a very quick time.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34So, he's on to the first. Come on Junior, come on.

0:22:36 > 0:22:38It's in the timing.

0:22:38 > 0:22:39And the second.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41Would YOU vote for Junior?

0:22:41 > 0:22:42No.

0:22:44 > 0:22:47Brilliant stuff from the Junior Minister -

0:22:47 > 0:22:50only one second behind Precise-Lee. That's quite a time.

0:22:52 > 0:22:57Junior is one of the select few to have actually crossed the cradles today.

0:22:57 > 0:23:00There is a knack to crossing these, you know -

0:23:00 > 0:23:04so secret if the contestants found out it would make a mockery of the Qualifier,

0:23:04 > 0:23:09maybe even leading to the show being axed and 40 Argentinians losing their jobs.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11It's about timing your jump, isn't it?

0:23:11 > 0:23:14Oh, did I just... Ooh, I said it. Oops.

0:23:15 > 0:23:17This is Gareth.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19He works for the London Underground,

0:23:19 > 0:23:24as you can tell by how quick, efficient and reliable he is.

0:23:25 > 0:23:27Closely adhering to Underground rules

0:23:27 > 0:23:30by staying away from the edge of the platform.

0:23:30 > 0:23:32- Mind the gap, Gareth. - Somebody had to.

0:23:32 > 0:23:34Just for Gareth,

0:23:34 > 0:23:39here's a quick lesson in what NOT to do on the Cradles of Doom.

0:23:39 > 0:23:43Lesson one, as demonstrated by Phyona from Forfar, don't tap dance.

0:23:49 > 0:23:51It's a frighteningly far fall for Phyona from Forfar.

0:23:53 > 0:23:57Lesson two - here's forklift driver Jane.

0:23:57 > 0:23:58Come on, Jane!

0:23:58 > 0:24:02However hard you try, you won't rock the cradle.

0:24:02 > 0:24:05But the cradle may well rock you.

0:24:05 > 0:24:09And remember Pro Chris? Here he is with the third and final lesson -

0:24:09 > 0:24:11don't listen to Amanda.

0:24:13 > 0:24:15- It's all about speed, Chris, come on!- Let's do it, baby.

0:24:16 > 0:24:17Here we go...

0:24:20 > 0:24:22I feel like that was MY fault.

0:24:22 > 0:24:25She doesn't feel guilt, she just looks it occasionally.

0:24:25 > 0:24:28So, let's see if any of these lessons have helped Mind The Gareth.

0:24:28 > 0:24:31Obviously he's listened to my advice and is simply waiting

0:24:31 > 0:24:34for the perfect opportunity to jump...

0:24:34 > 0:24:36Look at that.

0:24:37 > 0:24:40Slow and steady wins the race.

0:24:41 > 0:24:44Well - delays expected.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46Let's have a second look at the leaderboard.

0:24:46 > 0:24:50Precise-Lee has just pipped Junior Minister by one second to the top,

0:24:50 > 0:24:52with Dean the Builder in third.

0:24:52 > 0:24:56Sliding rapidly down the field in sixth is brave, brave Sir Dave.

0:24:56 > 0:24:58Phyona from Forfar is in ninth,

0:24:58 > 0:25:01and Sarah's looking precarious in 12th place.

0:25:02 > 0:25:07This is 30-year-old Clair from Derbyshire, just getting warmed up.

0:25:07 > 0:25:13Total Wipeout, I'm going to conquer your balls! Wooo!

0:25:13 > 0:25:14Crikey.

0:25:14 > 0:25:17By day she is a university lecturer, and by night...

0:25:17 > 0:25:22I teach pole dancing, burlesque dancing and can-can.

0:25:22 > 0:25:27So can Can-Can Clair high-kick her way over the rakes?

0:25:27 > 0:25:29Oh, she is making good progress.

0:25:29 > 0:25:31Come on, Can-Can Clair.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33Wow.

0:25:33 > 0:25:36CLAIR SQUEALS LOUDLY

0:25:36 > 0:25:38Yes, this is looking... There is a lot of noise.

0:25:41 > 0:25:47She has made it. Can Can-Can Clair make it across the sucker punch?

0:25:50 > 0:25:52No. She can't can't.

0:25:57 > 0:26:00Not leaving very much to the imagination with them shorts, Clair.

0:26:00 > 0:26:05OK, she's on the first cradle in great time as well.

0:26:05 > 0:26:06Can she make the second?

0:26:06 > 0:26:11Yep, she can. If she can make this final jump, she will have the fastest time of the day.

0:26:11 > 0:26:13This has been an astonishing time.

0:26:13 > 0:26:15And she has. 1 minute 51.

0:26:15 > 0:26:20You'll be seeing a lot more of her. I mean... You know what I mean.

0:26:20 > 0:26:23Now for the penultimate contestant.

0:26:23 > 0:26:26His friends call him a smoocher.

0:26:26 > 0:26:29Meet today's most eligible bachelor...

0:26:33 > 0:26:36Digging it, digging it, digging it down!

0:26:36 > 0:26:40Uh-huh. Here he goes. Oh, he is off like a speeding bullet.

0:26:41 > 0:26:44Oh, straight off.

0:26:44 > 0:26:48Can Colin the irresistible tame the hearts of the big balls?

0:26:55 > 0:26:59No. He can't. But he did get a goodbye hug.

0:26:59 > 0:27:04What sets this show apart is the sheer heroism demonstrated

0:27:04 > 0:27:09by the contestants because when the going gets tough, do they quit?

0:27:09 > 0:27:13No, they don't. When the chips are down, do they run away crying?

0:27:13 > 0:27:17Well, occasionally. But do they embody the never-say-die spirit

0:27:17 > 0:27:20that saw this country through two world wars?

0:27:20 > 0:27:23No. No, they don't. Time for the last contestant.

0:27:23 > 0:27:28I'm a rocking, rolling, jiving, thriving, nifty 50. Watch me go!

0:27:28 > 0:27:33Reflexologist Jan is the eldest contestant of the day.

0:27:33 > 0:27:36I'm saying that to her face which has been hit by a rake.

0:27:36 > 0:27:39But Jan is a black belt in the art of positive thinking.

0:27:39 > 0:27:42In my mind. I know that I can do it.

0:27:42 > 0:27:48Yes, you can. Probably. Come on, Jan, you can do this. Yes, she can!

0:27:49 > 0:27:55Now, that won't faze Jan because she has analysed this course thoroughly.

0:27:55 > 0:27:57Hey, what's a few puddles?

0:27:57 > 0:28:00- See? What's a few puddles? - Come on, Jan.

0:28:03 > 0:28:06Come on, you. I'm going to have you.

0:28:06 > 0:28:08OK, that's... Yes.

0:28:10 > 0:28:14Jan will have no problems with the sucker punch.

0:28:16 > 0:28:19Come on, Jan, you can do it. Mind over matter.

0:28:19 > 0:28:23This is more like it. A positive start. Yes.

0:28:26 > 0:28:29Oh, followed by a positive punch.

0:28:30 > 0:28:33I'm probably the oldest bod here,

0:28:33 > 0:28:38but what I lack in stamina and in age I can make up for up here.

0:28:38 > 0:28:43Which means Jan will have no problems with these.

0:28:43 > 0:28:46- Let's do it.- Yes, let's do it.

0:28:46 > 0:28:47You won't beat me.

0:28:47 > 0:28:50No, it won't beat you. Yeah, let's go!

0:28:51 > 0:28:53Yeah.

0:28:53 > 0:28:55- Let's go.- Yeah!

0:28:57 > 0:28:59No.

0:29:03 > 0:29:08I'll be honest, I'm not feeling as positive as I was about this.

0:29:08 > 0:29:13She's still going, though. She is digging deep,

0:29:13 > 0:29:17and all that other stuff that people do when they're really trying hard.

0:29:17 > 0:29:21Yes. I'm at the top.

0:29:21 > 0:29:22So close.

0:29:22 > 0:29:25This is moving, actually. Genuinely.

0:29:25 > 0:29:28Talking herself through it.

0:29:28 > 0:29:30Come on, Jan! The first cradle.

0:29:35 > 0:29:37This is too much. I'm on the edge of my seat.

0:29:43 > 0:29:47I've got to admit, I was expecting a bit more than that.

0:29:53 > 0:29:57A cleverer man than me once said, "Victory is a thing of the will,

0:29:57 > 0:30:05"but there are some victories worse than defeat, and some defeats more triumphant than victories."

0:30:05 > 0:30:07I have no idea what any of that means,

0:30:07 > 0:30:11but I'm sure it's really pertinent and important right now.

0:30:11 > 0:30:14I'm exhausted just watching her.

0:30:14 > 0:30:20Positive Jan snatches victory from the jaws of defeat with a positively epic time of 8 minutes 17 seconds.

0:30:20 > 0:30:23- Made it! I made it!- Yes.

0:30:23 > 0:30:26I made it... Oh...

0:30:28 > 0:30:30I think she's going to cry.

0:30:30 > 0:30:33So, let's have a look at the final leaderboard.

0:30:33 > 0:30:37Can-Can Clair is at the top, with Precise Lee in second and Junior Minister in third.

0:30:37 > 0:30:40Colin the Irresistible is in 6th.

0:30:40 > 0:30:42Amazing Amy is in 9th.

0:30:42 > 0:30:48And Bilbo has just hung in there by the skin of his hobbity little teeth in 12th place.

0:30:50 > 0:30:55That's the Qualifier over, and round about now, I tend to feel a bit sad.

0:30:55 > 0:31:00Just as I was getting to know those brave contestants, eight have gone.

0:31:00 > 0:31:02I wonder what they are doing now.

0:31:30 > 0:31:33I will remember them.

0:31:33 > 0:31:36Actually, I've already forgotten their names.

0:31:36 > 0:31:37Apart from Underwater Cuthbert.

0:31:37 > 0:31:40There wasn't an Underwater Cuthbert, was there?

0:31:40 > 0:31:44But what awaits the 12 lucky souls who have made it this far?

0:31:44 > 0:31:46Well, riddle me this.

0:31:46 > 0:31:49When is a mountain not a mountain?

0:31:49 > 0:31:53When it consists of 12 big podiums wobbling about in stagnant water.

0:31:58 > 0:32:03The 12 remaining contestants have a mountain to climb, and there is only one way to get there.

0:32:03 > 0:32:07It is a sprint to the centre podium over one moving arm, whilst avoiding the other two.

0:32:07 > 0:32:10If they crash out, they'll need to try again.

0:32:10 > 0:32:13The first five to make it are heading for the next round.

0:32:13 > 0:32:16The other seven are heading for the losers' bench.

0:32:16 > 0:32:18And casualty, sometimes.

0:32:18 > 0:32:22On podiums 1, 2 and 3, Phyona from Forfar.

0:32:22 > 0:32:24Oh, God.

0:32:24 > 0:32:26Looking calm.

0:32:26 > 0:32:31- Can-Can Clair. - I was the first in the Qualifier and I will be first to that centre.

0:32:31 > 0:32:32- And Bilbo.- Watch Bilbo go.

0:32:32 > 0:32:35- I'll be the Lord of THIS ring!- Yup.

0:32:35 > 0:32:40On podium four, about to give a rousing speech, Junior Minister.

0:32:40 > 0:32:43What goes up must come down, but you lot are going down first.

0:32:43 > 0:32:47Oh, bravo, yah. On five, it's...

0:32:47 > 0:32:51# Bold and brave Sir Dave, who fought to save the day. #

0:32:51 > 0:32:54Ole, ole, ole, you're all going down today.

0:32:54 > 0:32:57Brilliant, Richard III, my second favourite Shakespeare play(!)

0:32:57 > 0:33:02On podiums 6, 7 and 8 - Amazing Amy,

0:33:02 > 0:33:06Dean the Builder and Just Jonny.

0:33:06 > 0:33:08On 9...

0:33:08 > 0:33:12# Whoa-whoa everybody got kung-fu fighting... #

0:33:12 > 0:33:15Precisely, precise Lee.

0:33:15 > 0:33:18And on podiums 10, 11 and 12, Here Hannah.

0:33:18 > 0:33:23This top dog is going to be centre-stage! Yes!

0:33:23 > 0:33:25He's irresistible.

0:33:25 > 0:33:27It's Colin.

0:33:28 > 0:33:30And Ice Ice Danni.

0:33:30 > 0:33:34All these other guys are going to crash into the water.

0:33:37 > 0:33:41Time now for an uplifting experience with a dash of falling.

0:33:41 > 0:33:44It's Crash Mountain. Are you all ready?

0:33:44 > 0:33:46CHEERING

0:33:46 > 0:33:49Three, two, one!

0:33:49 > 0:33:55And so it begins. The first five to the centre go to the next round.

0:33:55 > 0:33:57Ooh, that is fast. Oh! Jonny is off.

0:33:57 > 0:34:01Bilbo somehow manages to do even worse!

0:34:01 > 0:34:05Never got near it, mistakenly thinking he has huge hobbit feet.

0:34:05 > 0:34:08That's Lee clean off too.

0:34:08 > 0:34:11we could be here a while.

0:34:11 > 0:34:16Ooh, I spoke too soon. Phyona from Forfar is first on, but then off.

0:34:16 > 0:34:22They've got to make it to their feet if they want to get to the centre.

0:34:22 > 0:34:25Oh, that was Ice Ice Danni.

0:34:25 > 0:34:27They all look a little bit drunk.

0:34:28 > 0:34:30That should sober Colin up!

0:34:30 > 0:34:33And Junior Minister...

0:34:33 > 0:34:36And Dean the Builder too...

0:34:36 > 0:34:41What they don't realise is that pool is 40% Argentine rum.

0:34:41 > 0:34:45Bilbo gives it a crack. Probably receives a fracture for his efforts.

0:34:45 > 0:34:47Ooh, what's this from Just Jonny?

0:34:47 > 0:34:51Oh, so close. Glory cruelly snatched by the sweeper arm.

0:34:54 > 0:34:56Can-Can Clair's doing pretty well.

0:34:56 > 0:35:00No-one's made it to the centre yet. She might be the first.

0:35:00 > 0:35:03Could she be the first? No.

0:35:03 > 0:35:06She's down. Clean off her feet.

0:35:06 > 0:35:10Will anyone go through to the next round today? Brave Brave Sir Dave!

0:35:10 > 0:35:12Is it really that hard?

0:35:12 > 0:35:15I'm going to say yes, it is.

0:35:15 > 0:35:18Oh! Junior makes a bid for glory, and he's across.

0:35:18 > 0:35:22And into the next round. Four places remain.

0:35:22 > 0:35:28Make that three! No... Yes, Precise Lee has made it as well.

0:35:28 > 0:35:30All of a sudden.

0:35:31 > 0:35:35Just Jonny making a dash... And he's done it as well.

0:35:35 > 0:35:37They've watched and learned.

0:35:37 > 0:35:39Junior Minister, Precise Lee and Just Jonny are through.

0:35:39 > 0:35:41Two places remain.

0:35:41 > 0:35:47Will it be Hannah, Colin, Can-Can Clair, Amazing Amy, Phyona from Forfar,

0:35:47 > 0:35:53Dean the Builder, Brave Brave Sir Dave, Bilbo or Ice Ice Danni?

0:35:54 > 0:35:56Oh, bless you, Danni.

0:35:56 > 0:35:59Colin takes his turn, ducking...

0:35:59 > 0:36:01and diving.

0:36:01 > 0:36:04This is close. This is... Oh.

0:36:04 > 0:36:05That was very close.

0:36:05 > 0:36:07Will Colin get time for another go?

0:36:09 > 0:36:11Can-Can Clair again.

0:36:11 > 0:36:13Survives one sweep...

0:36:15 > 0:36:17Ooh, that was close!

0:36:17 > 0:36:20But the beam gets its revenge.

0:36:25 > 0:36:26Hannah's on.

0:36:26 > 0:36:28For the first time for Hannah.

0:36:28 > 0:36:30She's hanging on...

0:36:30 > 0:36:36Oh, no, she isn't. It was a bit late for her first attempt, but it hasn't ended well for her.

0:36:36 > 0:36:38Meanwhile Dean's sneaking along the platform.

0:36:38 > 0:36:41This might be his last chance.

0:36:41 > 0:36:43Oh, come on, Dean. He's doing it for me. Get up!

0:36:45 > 0:36:47Yep, almost... Oh!

0:36:47 > 0:36:49Colin in there too.

0:36:49 > 0:36:51Dean's dream might be over now.

0:36:51 > 0:36:54Colin making a run for it.

0:36:54 > 0:36:59Bilbo's off, but Colin's made it. Only one place remains.

0:36:59 > 0:37:04Danni has her eye on that final place.

0:37:07 > 0:37:09So near but so far...

0:37:12 > 0:37:16Amy making a last-ditch attempt at that final spot.

0:37:16 > 0:37:21- Oh, I haven't seen Amy for a while. - This is it. It's now or nothing.

0:37:23 > 0:37:26And she's done it! She's done it, she's on.

0:37:26 > 0:37:28We have five!

0:37:28 > 0:37:31I'm exhausted.

0:37:33 > 0:37:38So, Crash Mountain has plucked the five mighty mountaineers from...

0:37:38 > 0:37:41the other seven who never made it out of base camp.

0:37:41 > 0:37:44Those seven had their moment to shine, and they blew it.

0:37:44 > 0:37:48So let's give them another moment to...talk about it a bit.

0:37:50 > 0:37:54I came here with a quest, and I failed the hobbits and the elves.

0:37:54 > 0:37:57I failed everyone.

0:37:57 > 0:37:59Absolutely terrifying.

0:37:59 > 0:38:05Even before it started to move and go round, I just wanted to cry.

0:38:05 > 0:38:10I just couldn't get the strength to pick myself up.

0:38:10 > 0:38:13I would put one foot forward,

0:38:13 > 0:38:14hit it and I was in the drink again.

0:38:16 > 0:38:21It was so slippery, I just didn't have the grip to stand and then run.

0:38:21 > 0:38:23It kept coming and knocking me off.

0:38:24 > 0:38:27Absolutely gutted.

0:38:27 > 0:38:30I have never been as devastated in my life.

0:38:30 > 0:38:36I'll just have to find another way to win £10,000.

0:38:36 > 0:38:40So, two rounds down and just five competitors remain.

0:38:40 > 0:38:43You don't need me to tell you what's next.

0:38:50 > 0:38:51Apparently, you do.

0:38:51 > 0:38:53It is Dizzy Dummies!

0:38:58 > 0:39:04The contestants will be spun fast in that poorly-modified tumble dryer

0:39:04 > 0:39:09and released to dart straight-ish over the rotating bungee frame

0:39:09 > 0:39:11and stumble to the pyramid beams.

0:39:11 > 0:39:16The last person to the other side will be eliminated, and the whole rigmarole will then be repeated,

0:39:16 > 0:39:19but this time they'll cross the barrel bridge.

0:39:19 > 0:39:21The last person across will be eliminated,

0:39:21 > 0:39:25leaving three finalists, who will all go through to the Wipeout Zone.

0:39:25 > 0:39:30Five brave souls are about to take on the wrath of the Dizzy Dummy.

0:39:30 > 0:39:33- And they're raring to go. Are you all ready?- No!

0:39:33 > 0:39:36Oh, well, we're going to go anyway.

0:39:36 > 0:39:39Three, two, one!

0:39:41 > 0:39:42Oh, my God!

0:39:45 > 0:39:49Right, let's take this opportunity to meet today's five Dizzy Dummies.

0:39:49 > 0:39:53He was first across Crash Mountain, and he's Prime Minister in waiting.

0:39:53 > 0:39:55It's Junior Minister.

0:39:55 > 0:40:00He's quick. He's fast. He's precise.

0:40:00 > 0:40:03- # Whoa-whoa... #- It's Precise Lee.

0:40:05 > 0:40:08He once drew a picture. He...

0:40:08 > 0:40:10Um... It's just Jonny.

0:40:12 > 0:40:15He loves the ladies. The ladies are still undecided.

0:40:15 > 0:40:17Digging it, digging it...

0:40:17 > 0:40:20It's Colin the Irresistible.

0:40:20 > 0:40:22She's amazing.

0:40:22 > 0:40:25- A-mazing.- It's Amazing Amy.

0:40:25 > 0:40:27The dummies are reaching the end of their gyratory torture session.

0:40:27 > 0:40:30And they're off.

0:40:30 > 0:40:33Amy leading the field towards the bungee frame.

0:40:33 > 0:40:37- Oh, she's quick, straight through. - Oh, yeah, Amy. Chicks rule!

0:40:41 > 0:40:44The others are floundering as Amy heads to the pyramid beams.

0:40:44 > 0:40:46Junior Minister is through, though.

0:40:46 > 0:40:48Colin isn't.

0:40:48 > 0:40:51Amazing Amy making it over the first pyramid.

0:40:51 > 0:40:52Good girl, Amy!

0:40:52 > 0:40:57And she is over to the second platform... Oh, no!

0:40:57 > 0:41:00No, that's just... Hideously wrong.

0:41:02 > 0:41:05Amy has taken out herself, two pyramids and Junior Minister.

0:41:05 > 0:41:07That really is a-mazing.

0:41:07 > 0:41:10So, they will all need to swim back to the start.

0:41:11 > 0:41:16Precise Lee is making a run for it with Just Jonny close behind.

0:41:16 > 0:41:18Lee then jumping for it.

0:41:20 > 0:41:25He can't hang on in there. It's back to the start for him.

0:41:25 > 0:41:27Jonny is getting himself rather familiar with that obstacle.

0:41:27 > 0:41:29OK.

0:41:31 > 0:41:34Just Jonny diving for it now.

0:41:34 > 0:41:37Nope, can't hang on in there either.

0:41:37 > 0:41:41That second platform is proving impassable so far.

0:41:41 > 0:41:44- Colin... Oh, he's made it!- Yes!

0:41:44 > 0:41:47- Cos he's only a little fella. - This is looking good.

0:41:47 > 0:41:51Junior Minister not far behind.

0:41:54 > 0:41:56Suddenly everyone is getting to grips with this. Amazing Amy now.

0:41:56 > 0:41:59Come on, Amy. Come on, come on...

0:41:59 > 0:42:01Oh... No...

0:42:03 > 0:42:06Colin making the final dash... Yes!

0:42:06 > 0:42:08And he's through and safe for now.

0:42:08 > 0:42:13A fantastic jump from Colin the Irresistible.

0:42:16 > 0:42:19Junior Minister going for it now. Just one jump. Come on!

0:42:22 > 0:42:24And Junior Minister is through!

0:42:25 > 0:42:29Using a floater to finish, but it worked.

0:42:30 > 0:42:35It's Precise Lee, Amazing Amy and Just Jonny left.

0:42:35 > 0:42:38The last across will be eliminated.

0:42:38 > 0:42:40Precise Lee makes it.

0:42:40 > 0:42:43So it is now down to the last two.

0:42:47 > 0:42:50Jonny now... Oh! Ooh...

0:42:50 > 0:42:53Amy, come on! Come on, Amy!

0:42:56 > 0:42:59Oh, and this is outrageous! Amy tries to climb over Jonny.

0:42:59 > 0:43:02They are both holding on. This is desperation.

0:43:02 > 0:43:04Amy slips and hands Jonny the win.

0:43:07 > 0:43:09I don't believe it.

0:43:11 > 0:43:15If there is one thing you should have learned about Total Wipeout,

0:43:15 > 0:43:18it is to expect the unexpected.

0:43:18 > 0:43:20Which would, of course, make it the expected.

0:43:20 > 0:43:23So it ceases to be unexpected...

0:43:23 > 0:43:28Anyway, it turns out that the exertion of the game was a little too much for Jonny.

0:43:30 > 0:43:33Despite a spectacular performance all day, Jonny hurt his eye

0:43:33 > 0:43:37and, after medical advice, has had to withdraw from the competition.

0:43:37 > 0:43:41Absolutely gutted. I thought I could go all the way to the final.

0:43:41 > 0:43:43But obviously it's not meant to be.

0:43:43 > 0:43:46Going around in circles is not my forte.

0:43:46 > 0:43:49So, Amazing Amy is, amazingly, back in the game

0:43:49 > 0:43:53and takes Jonny's place in the second round of Dizzy Dummies.

0:43:53 > 0:43:58It's time to go back to the most tranquil and calm place on Earth.

0:44:00 > 0:44:02Oh, this is relaxing.

0:44:02 > 0:44:04SQUEALING

0:44:04 > 0:44:07Time to kick back, take a deep breath and...

0:44:07 > 0:44:09SHOUTING

0:44:09 > 0:44:13..just take it easy. Feel your worries...

0:44:16 > 0:44:19..ebb away as you sense...

0:44:19 > 0:44:21that the thing's finally slowing down.

0:44:21 > 0:44:24It's game on, and Amy is first out of the trap - again.

0:44:24 > 0:44:27Come on, Amy.

0:44:27 > 0:44:30Oh, she's down!

0:44:32 > 0:44:34As is just about everyone else.

0:44:34 > 0:44:38Someone is through, but I have no idea who it is.

0:44:38 > 0:44:42You get a sense that this is actually quite difficult.

0:44:45 > 0:44:48OK, Lee has made it to the barrel bridge.

0:44:48 > 0:44:50He is on it.

0:44:50 > 0:44:54Junior Minister is on as well now.

0:44:54 > 0:44:58- Yes!- There's Amy.

0:44:58 > 0:45:00Colin waiting for the right time.

0:45:00 > 0:45:04Oh, the right time to fall in.

0:45:04 > 0:45:08Junior is in trouble as well. He'll be joining Colin back at the start.

0:45:08 > 0:45:11Still, not far to swim.

0:45:11 > 0:45:16Lee making good progress, with Amy not far behind.

0:45:16 > 0:45:19- Scratch that. Lee is on his own now. - Ow!

0:45:19 > 0:45:22And in pain.

0:45:22 > 0:45:27I call that move the spreadeagle. People only do it once.

0:45:27 > 0:45:30Lee has just got two more barrels to go, and he will be into the final.

0:45:30 > 0:45:33Oh, he has done it again!

0:45:34 > 0:45:38People only do that... twice.

0:45:38 > 0:45:41Oh, no. Still, it is working for him.

0:45:41 > 0:45:43Most of him. Can he do it? Come on, Lee.

0:45:45 > 0:45:46For crying out loud! Yes!

0:45:46 > 0:45:52Yes! He is today's first finalist, but at what price?

0:45:52 > 0:45:55- I love it! - OK, Colin has made a new friend.

0:45:55 > 0:45:57Two spots left in the final.

0:45:57 > 0:46:00It is between Colin, Amy and Junior now. Oh, Colin is in.

0:46:00 > 0:46:03Pas de goal for Colin.

0:46:06 > 0:46:10Completing now for those places in the final. Oh, Amy's gone.

0:46:10 > 0:46:13Junior has got a clear run now.

0:46:18 > 0:46:21The possible future leader of Great Britain.

0:46:21 > 0:46:27Well, when he becomes the leader, he will probably regret doing this, but we can enjoy it for now.

0:46:27 > 0:46:28Hang on, Junior! Hang on!

0:46:28 > 0:46:33OK, having a little rest. I'm not surprised, this is exhausting.

0:46:35 > 0:46:38Yes!

0:46:39 > 0:46:41Colin closing the gap.

0:46:41 > 0:46:46- But Junior is doing well. - Yes, come on, Junior!

0:46:46 > 0:46:50Just one barrel away from the final.

0:46:50 > 0:46:52Oh, this is getting close!

0:46:52 > 0:46:55- And tense.- Oh!

0:46:55 > 0:46:59Amy is still falling in. That girl does not give up easily.

0:46:59 > 0:47:02Colin catching Junior up, he's changing lane to try and overtake.

0:47:05 > 0:47:08Oh! It is neck-and-neck now. Junior leaps, and he's through!

0:47:08 > 0:47:11One more spot in today's final.

0:47:11 > 0:47:15Can Colin make it?

0:47:15 > 0:47:17Yes, he can.

0:47:17 > 0:47:21There goes the klaxon, and Amy is out of the competition.

0:47:21 > 0:47:24Genuinely, this time.

0:47:24 > 0:47:27You got a second chance, Amy.

0:47:27 > 0:47:29- What were you doing? - That was so hard!

0:47:29 > 0:47:33Did you think, because you were being given a second chance,

0:47:33 > 0:47:36that would give you the strength and determination to get through?

0:47:36 > 0:47:41No, I thought it was like torture. They did it to me on purpose!

0:47:41 > 0:47:46Junior Minister from Wales, Precise Lee and Colin the Irresistible, both from Northern Ireland,

0:47:46 > 0:47:50have made it through to today's final round, the Wipeout Zone.

0:47:50 > 0:47:54It's been a bumpy ride for those three Celtic heroes.

0:47:54 > 0:47:58A muddy, slippy, spinny sort of bumpy ride.

0:48:02 > 0:48:06It feels great and very, very surreal.

0:48:06 > 0:48:09Everyone back home will be amazed that I have got this far.

0:48:09 > 0:48:14Winning tonight would definitely mean a lot to me.

0:48:14 > 0:48:16I don't look like a prime athletic specimen.

0:48:16 > 0:48:21People looking at me would think, "Tiny, ginger, Northern Irish."

0:48:21 > 0:48:25I think you've got to have a self-belief.

0:48:25 > 0:48:29If you don't believe in yourself, you lose the first battle already.

0:48:29 > 0:48:33I never do sports. I never go to the gym. I am more of a couch potato.

0:48:33 > 0:48:38I was always the last to be picked for the football team.

0:48:38 > 0:48:42I always mumble to myself, "Do it for your kids. Do it for your kids."

0:48:42 > 0:48:45I hope they are proud of me.

0:48:45 > 0:48:49# I am the one and only. There's no... # What was it?

0:48:49 > 0:48:52I don't know the words. What are the words to the song?

0:48:52 > 0:48:57It won't be We Are The Champions, because it has to be I...

0:48:57 > 0:49:00I've definitely got it in me.

0:49:00 > 0:49:03I hope to be the first politician to win Total Wipeout.

0:49:03 > 0:49:07As long as this Northern Irish man gets one over on the Welsh!

0:49:07 > 0:49:10If I can do as good as Bruce Lee, I'll be OK.

0:49:10 > 0:49:14Hopefully the Welsh will come out on top. We beat the Irish before.

0:49:14 > 0:49:18I don't think there's been a Northern Irish winner, but hopefully tonight there will be.

0:49:18 > 0:49:20# Simply the best...

0:49:20 > 0:49:24# Doo, doo doo Better than... #

0:49:24 > 0:49:30So, with only three competitors left in the race for the £10,000 prize,

0:49:30 > 0:49:34and the Wipeout Zone imminent, crunch time is upon us.

0:49:34 > 0:49:35It's crunch o'clock.

0:49:35 > 0:49:38It's zero-crunch-hundred hours.

0:49:38 > 0:49:43The little hand is pointing to the crunch and the big hand is pointing to the crunch as well.

0:49:43 > 0:49:47Basically, it's time for the Wipeout Zone.

0:49:52 > 0:49:55This is what lies in wait for the three finalists.

0:49:55 > 0:50:00A headlong trip down the killer surf.

0:50:00 > 0:50:02Then a rapid climb up the rapid climb.

0:50:02 > 0:50:09They have got just ten seconds to make it to the top before a tidal wave is unleashed.

0:50:09 > 0:50:12Then balance is everything on the balance beam.

0:50:12 > 0:50:15From there, they will have to try dodge the crazy sweeper.

0:50:15 > 0:50:22Then it's the rope swing on to the turntable and a final leap to the finish podium where the clock stops.

0:50:23 > 0:50:29The fastest will be crowned Total Wipeout champion and walk away with £10,000.

0:50:29 > 0:50:32It's the battle of the Celts in the Wipeout Zone tonight.

0:50:32 > 0:50:36And first to go, from Northern Ireland, it's Colin.

0:50:36 > 0:50:39Archaeologist Colin prepares himself.

0:50:39 > 0:50:44But will he be unearthing £10,000 of treasure tonight? And he's off!

0:50:50 > 0:50:52And he's in.

0:50:52 > 0:50:56Colin sets off with a quick swim to the cascades of the rapid climb.

0:51:02 > 0:51:04That torrent of water doesn't seem to be slowing him down.

0:51:04 > 0:51:09Once on his feet, Colin only has ten seconds before the tidal wave hits.

0:51:13 > 0:51:15He has made it. This is a really strong start.

0:51:15 > 0:51:20Really strong from Colin. The balance beam now.

0:51:20 > 0:51:22Oh, Colin, easy...

0:51:22 > 0:51:25He's looking steady.

0:51:25 > 0:51:26Very steady.

0:51:28 > 0:51:33But things are about to get tougher with the crazy sweeper.

0:51:34 > 0:51:37He's just going for it! This is all in the timing,

0:51:37 > 0:51:41but that sweeper arm is coming back round after him.

0:51:41 > 0:51:44And he's just made...

0:51:44 > 0:51:46That was incredible!

0:51:46 > 0:51:50The rope swing to the turntable now.

0:51:54 > 0:51:56Big swing from Colin.

0:51:56 > 0:51:58He has landed bang in the middle.

0:51:58 > 0:52:01This is amazing. This is going to be a very hard time to beat.

0:52:01 > 0:52:02One final jump...!

0:52:02 > 0:52:08And Colin completes the course in just 1 minute 24 seconds.

0:52:08 > 0:52:11Colin has just given a masterclass

0:52:11 > 0:52:15in how to defeat the Wipeout Zone.

0:52:15 > 0:52:17He made it look easy, but it isn't.

0:52:17 > 0:52:21As I suspect his fellow finalists are about to find out.

0:52:21 > 0:52:25That was absolutely unbelievable. I can tell you, Colin,

0:52:25 > 0:52:30that your time tonight was 1 minute and 24 seconds!

0:52:30 > 0:52:33Oh, my...! I can't believe it.

0:52:33 > 0:52:35It is a fantastic time.

0:52:35 > 0:52:39But you have got two really strong competitors coming up behind.

0:52:39 > 0:52:41Next to go is Junior.

0:52:42 > 0:52:47Junior Minister looking nervous, and he doesn't even know what Colin's time was.

0:52:47 > 0:52:49Come on, this one's for Wales!

0:52:49 > 0:52:54So, only the pressure of an entire country resting on his shoulders now.

0:52:56 > 0:52:58He's in the water.

0:52:58 > 0:53:02And it's another quick swim to the rapid climb.

0:53:06 > 0:53:08Where is he? Where IS he?

0:53:10 > 0:53:13Junior is on his feet. He's got ten seconds to avoid that tidal wave.

0:53:13 > 0:53:18That little delay at the start means this is going to be close.

0:53:18 > 0:53:20Three, two, one...

0:53:20 > 0:53:24He's made that by the skin of his teeth. The balance beam next.

0:53:27 > 0:53:29Junior steps out, very steady so far.

0:53:29 > 0:53:32But remember he is against the clock.

0:53:32 > 0:53:35He has got to do this in less than 1 minute 24.

0:53:37 > 0:53:40He's across. The crazy sweeper next.

0:53:40 > 0:53:43Oh, no! He just froze!

0:53:43 > 0:53:46No ducking, no nothing.

0:53:49 > 0:53:51Well, Junior Minister is going to have to fly around

0:53:51 > 0:53:55the Wipeout Zone now to stand a chance of beating Colin's time.

0:53:55 > 0:54:00He faces a swim and a climb before he can continue with the course.

0:54:02 > 0:54:05Now for the rope swing. No room for error here.

0:54:08 > 0:54:12Junior Minister, here we go...

0:54:12 > 0:54:15He's hit the water. That's... Oh, no.

0:54:17 > 0:54:20Sadly, his challenge is as good as over now.

0:54:23 > 0:54:27Nevertheless, he must now climb up to the turntable before that final leap to the finish.

0:54:27 > 0:54:31He has made it, but that is not enough to win him a big prize.

0:54:33 > 0:54:382 minutes and 8 seconds would ordinarily be a very good time.

0:54:38 > 0:54:42Unless you are competing with a Wipeout Zone master like Colin.

0:54:42 > 0:54:46It's time for Amanda to break the news.

0:54:46 > 0:54:49Junior, you might be Prime Minister of Britain some day,

0:54:49 > 0:54:53but I'm afraid you're not going to be Total Wipeout champion,

0:54:53 > 0:54:56because Colin was faster. Hard luck.

0:54:56 > 0:55:00- You know what this means. - Only one to go!

0:55:00 > 0:55:02Yours is the time to beat.

0:55:02 > 0:55:05Let's have a look. Oooooh!

0:55:05 > 0:55:10So it's an all-Irish final now, and Precise Lee has some target to beat.

0:55:10 > 0:55:11I love you, kids!

0:55:13 > 0:55:16The clock starts ticking as he hits the water.

0:55:21 > 0:55:25Now, Lee has to pull out all the stops.

0:55:25 > 0:55:281 minute 24 is the target.

0:55:28 > 0:55:32Thousands of gallons of ice-cold Argentinian water won't help.

0:55:34 > 0:55:36Lee struggling straight away.

0:55:36 > 0:55:39Come on!

0:55:39 > 0:55:43He is on his feet, and the ten seconds begin.

0:55:43 > 0:55:46Now he's moving, he looks quick.

0:55:48 > 0:55:52He's at the top - no-one's been battered by that tidal wave today.

0:55:54 > 0:55:58The balance beam now. Lee has to make this if he wants the prize.

0:56:00 > 0:56:04Well, he is on the beam and moving fast. Oh, no! Disaster!

0:56:04 > 0:56:09- Oh...- I hate to say it, but Precise Lee lacked precision there

0:56:09 > 0:56:13and that error could have just cost him the title.

0:56:13 > 0:56:16He's got a mountain to climb now.

0:56:18 > 0:56:20On to the crazy sweeper.

0:56:20 > 0:56:23Come on, Lee. A fast time now is still possible, but only just.

0:56:23 > 0:56:26Come on, Lee!

0:56:26 > 0:56:29Oh... Oh...

0:56:33 > 0:56:34That was so near.

0:56:34 > 0:56:36With that fall, though, it is all over for Lee.

0:56:36 > 0:56:38He doesn't know that, though.

0:56:38 > 0:56:40So he just has to keep trying.

0:56:40 > 0:56:44As far as he knows, he's just got to give it everything.

0:56:44 > 0:56:49Looking exhausted as he climbs to the rope swing. Come on, Lee.

0:56:55 > 0:56:57Oh, no, and he's off again.

0:56:57 > 0:57:00Punishing himself now.

0:57:00 > 0:57:03Lee just didn't get enough momentum there, and in he went.

0:57:03 > 0:57:06He has fallen off everything now.

0:57:06 > 0:57:07But you've got to give it to him, he's not throwing in the towel.

0:57:07 > 0:57:12There's just one jump to go and he's there. No!

0:57:12 > 0:57:14He's fallen off the finish podium.

0:57:14 > 0:57:17Well, Lee has had no luck at all.

0:57:17 > 0:57:20Coming unstuck on that final leap.

0:57:20 > 0:57:25With energy reserves running low, Lee has one more go, and makes it.

0:57:25 > 0:57:29And the clock stops at 4 minutes and 2 seconds.

0:57:30 > 0:57:34Poor Lee fell off everything.

0:57:36 > 0:57:39It's over to Amanda to break the news.

0:57:42 > 0:57:44Oh, come on out to me, my dear.

0:57:44 > 0:57:47You must be exhausted.

0:57:47 > 0:57:50You've got it. No, all I think about is my kids.

0:57:50 > 0:57:51But what can I do?

0:57:51 > 0:57:55Lee, your kids are going to be proud of you no matter what.

0:57:55 > 0:57:57But you weren't fast enough

0:57:57 > 0:58:00because, Colin, you are the Total Wipeout champion!

0:58:07 > 0:58:11So, well done to archaeologist Colin Dunlop from Northern Ireland.

0:58:11 > 0:58:15This is probably the most valuable and significant find of his life.

0:58:15 > 0:58:18£10,000 and a priceless trophy.

0:58:18 > 0:58:22Bringing his total haul to £10,007.

0:58:22 > 0:58:26Join me next time when there will be a portion of this...

0:58:28 > 0:58:30..a piece of this...

0:58:30 > 0:58:33and a big new chunk of this.

0:58:33 > 0:58:36From Amanda and me, goodbye.