0:00:01 > 0:00:07Buenos Aires, South America, not a safe place to be if you're a cow.
0:00:07 > 0:00:12Or one of these 20 brave Brits, including an accountant, a chocolate-factory worker
0:00:12 > 0:00:16and a beekeeper, who have travelled across the globe to tackle
0:00:16 > 0:00:22an obstacle course unlike any other, mostly because nobody else has been stupid enough to build one.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25There can be only one winner, which leaves an awful lot of losers.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Let the bruising begin.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Hello, and welcome to Total Wipeout.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35A lot of excitement tonight, because it is the non-celebrity special!
0:00:35 > 0:00:40Yep, unlike every other show on TV, tonight's episode will contain
0:00:40 > 0:00:44no celebrities, no EastEnders actors or ex-Sugababes. Not one.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48There are no celebrities here, just good, honest, hard-working folk.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51And me. So, what's in store for tonight's non-celebrities?
0:00:51 > 0:00:55Well, it's lucky I asked, because I'm about to tell me.
0:00:55 > 0:00:56The Qualifier, the starter.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Crash Mountain, main course.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02Dizzy Dummies, dessert.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05The Wipeout Zone, a course that's really difficult
0:01:05 > 0:01:10and is only eaten by three people, but one of them wins ten grand.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13I think that's everything you need to know. Ooh, one other thing.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16In the unlikely event of a fire in the studio, I will be running
0:01:16 > 0:01:19straight through that door over there. OK?
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Good. Let's get on with the fun stuff.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25My co-host, Amanda Byram, is at the top of the course with today's first competitor.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34Meet 23-year-old Jemma from Bristol.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37You look really fit. You're very lithe, you've got a great body.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39What do you actually do to keep in shape?
0:01:39 > 0:01:41I do laughter classes.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Erm, that's a lesson, yeah.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45- So you learn how to laugh?- Yeah.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49In the classes, the grand finale of it is that you've got to lie on the
0:01:49 > 0:01:53floor and pretend you're a sausage sizzling in a pan!
0:01:56 > 0:02:01This is for all those West Country girls who sound like me but don't have a farm or any cows!
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Ooh-ar! Let's go!
0:02:03 > 0:02:05I'm confused. She's off.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09Jemma is a store planner for a chain of shoe shops, so she gets to decide
0:02:09 > 0:02:14which shoe goes where, a key skill when tackling the Qualifier.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Or when she's just walking.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20OK, looking calm and collected as she approaches the first obstacle.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Yeah, well, this looks easy enough. Contestants run from A to B to C
0:02:27 > 0:02:32via the red tips of those piano keys without falling into the mud.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34All sounds quite straightforward to me. It's hardly the...
0:02:34 > 0:02:38Oh, no, hang on, was that meant to happen, or has Jemma broken it?
0:02:38 > 0:02:42Oh, I see, some of the keys fall away, and no-one knows which ones they are.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46That's why they call it the Crazy Keyboard. I was wondering.
0:02:46 > 0:02:51Right, she's off again. Remember, only the fastest 12 competitors can get through to the next round.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55So come on, Jemma. Er, this may be not as easy as it looks.
0:03:00 > 0:03:05Ow. It's real pain. The Sucker Punch comes next, and in case you haven't seen Total Wipeout before
0:03:05 > 0:03:08or just have a six-day memory, the secret here
0:03:08 > 0:03:13is to get across that narrow ledge without being, er, knocked in.
0:03:13 > 0:03:14That was no laughing matter.
0:03:16 > 0:03:1922 pummelling fists have no sense of humour.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Onto the Big Balls now.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27The Motivator is on hand to help Jemma, should she need it.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Has that thought wiped the smile off her face?
0:03:30 > 0:03:31Yeah, that's definitely a grimace.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- Let's go!- Yeah, let's go.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36One, two...
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Oh...
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Jolly Jemma makes like a sizzling sausage.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46A really muddy one bouncing off a huge inflatable ball.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50Only the fastest 12 qualifiers go through to the next round, so Jemma needs to get a wiggle on.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Now she must tackle the final obstacle.
0:03:53 > 0:03:58The Argentineans have created this, the Swing Thing.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03# Swing Thing, Swing Thing
0:04:03 > 0:04:05# See how far you go. #
0:04:05 > 0:04:09Yeah... Will Jolly Jemma have the last laugh?
0:04:09 > 0:04:10It's a good swing.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Jemma's forgotten the golden rule of comedy.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Timing.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Yeah. Jolly Jemma finishes in a time of 3 minutes 54 seconds.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Will that be fast enough to ensure a top-12 finish?
0:04:23 > 0:04:25It was not funny! Ha-ha-ha!
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Hee hee hee?
0:04:27 > 0:04:28A-ha ha ha!
0:04:28 > 0:04:32Following in Jemma's jolly little footsteps is 47-year-old Paul from London.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37So, Paul, can you describe yourself for me?
0:04:37 > 0:04:39I'd say flamboyant, witty...
0:04:39 > 0:04:41- You're tall.- ..humorous.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44- I'd say I'm not one in the million, just a one.- Just say you're tall.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47- Ooh! Oh, you're confident, then, are you?- Tall!
0:04:47 > 0:04:50- Well, can you blame me?- Really tall!
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Yeah, you'd have to be confident if you're going to dress
0:04:52 > 0:04:55from head to toe in gaudy yellow, that's for definite.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02I don't think Amanda's impressed.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- Oh, that is impressive!- Whoo!
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Paul is one of those audiovisual technicians
0:05:07 > 0:05:10who's also a part-time aerobics instructor.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Come on, we all know one.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Will that help him across those Crazy Keys, though?
0:05:15 > 0:05:16Ooh, he's going to make it!
0:05:16 > 0:05:19No. No, he's not.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Ooh, look at that reaction.
0:05:22 > 0:05:27Tall Paul should have just stepped over those last few keys, but yeah...
0:05:27 > 0:05:29# Flashback! #
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- It is harder than it looks, that one.- Come on!
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Tall Paul's Balls now.
0:05:36 > 0:05:37Ooh, it's the Motivator!
0:05:37 > 0:05:41Ooh, he did well to avoid that Motivator. But not the water.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45He probably should have let it hit him. He might have gone further.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Sympathy, of course, Amanda's middle name.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50I think perhaps her parents were being ironic when they named her that.
0:05:50 > 0:05:54One small step for Paul now and he'll be across the Swing Thing.
0:05:54 > 0:05:59And that's trademarked. Ooh, he's done it, he's made it to the Cradle.
0:05:59 > 0:06:04Come on, now, Paul, it's not over yet. One last step. Yes!
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Yes, what a finish.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10Paul posts a time of 4 minutes and 6 seconds. That was impressive.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13I'll bet he's got something to say about a finish like that.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16LAUGHS
0:06:16 > 0:06:20Maybe not. Next it's the turn of 21-year-old
0:06:20 > 0:06:24Oxford University student Amy, and she's studying physics.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Oh, I think she just split the atom.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29This is for all the fit physicists.
0:06:29 > 0:06:30Come on!
0:06:30 > 0:06:35What? Now, can Brainy Amy beat the Crazy Keys with science?
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Here we go.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Oh, no, gravity treats physicists just the same.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43It's always those last few keys.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46They think they're home and dry, and then that happens.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Right, onto the second set.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50This'll go better, I know it will.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Oh, well held.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Could Brainy Amy be the first...
0:06:56 > 0:07:01That's the first two terms of lectures well and truly erased.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04Yep, once it's collapsed there's no way out.
0:07:08 > 0:07:09WESTMINSTER CHIMES
0:07:09 > 0:07:10Ooh, there you go.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Lovely. Onto the Sucker Punch now.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Well, if force equals mass times acceleration,
0:07:19 > 0:07:22each of those gloves weighs about two kilograms...
0:07:22 > 0:07:25Just don't get punched in the mush. Ah...
0:07:25 > 0:07:29Brainy Amy is using her brain to get across the Sucker Punch.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Well, it's working. She's done it!
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Incredible! The first competitor today to clear the Sucker Punch.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Now, Amy at the Swing Thing.
0:07:38 > 0:07:44She's postulating, she's theorising, she's calculating...
0:07:44 > 0:07:46And here she goes.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48And she's got it exactly wrong.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52What happened to her big brain?
0:07:52 > 0:07:54OK, well, she goes for the dismount.
0:07:54 > 0:07:55SCREAMS
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Little scream and into the lagoon.
0:07:57 > 0:08:01"Lagoon" sounds so much nicer, doesn't it, than "pond"?
0:08:01 > 0:08:05Still, Brainy Amy comes home in a very respectable 3 minutes 32.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09Next up is 26-year-old editorial co-ordinator Rachel.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12My name's Rachel Love. I'm ready to rock this course!
0:08:12 > 0:08:15OK! It's the Crazy Keys first.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Good, good, good, good, good, good...
0:08:17 > 0:08:22Bad. Really bad for Love-Heart Rachel.
0:08:22 > 0:08:28So near yet so far downwards into muddy Argentinean bog water.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30It really is poetry in motion.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32MUSIC: WALTZ FROM THE BLUE DANUBE BY J STRAUSS
0:08:38 > 0:08:44Rachel finally completes the Qualifier in 3 minutes 44.
0:08:44 > 0:08:4725-year-old accountant Dan is here to show that there's more to
0:08:47 > 0:08:51accountancy than mindlessly shifting numbers from one column to another.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52It's so exciting, isn't it?
0:08:52 > 0:08:56Everyone wants to be an accountant, don't they? It's great! I love it!
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Yeah, there's more to it than just counting numbers, y'know, so... Yeah, just...
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Well done, Dan, point proven.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07Let's count how many Keys he falls off.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09- I don't know.- Ouch.
0:09:09 > 0:09:14Yeah, ouch. That's one, two... Two.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Can I be an accountant now, Dan?
0:09:16 > 0:09:18MUSIC: PERFECT DAY BY LOU REED
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Yeah, you do know it still hurts them
0:09:20 > 0:09:23even if we slow it down and play a relaxing song, don't you?
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Right, onto the second set.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28He's... Ooh, he's down, but he's... Oh, he's down. Yeah.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33It all adds up to a perfectly executed fall.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Onto the Sucker Punch. Don't bother counting the fists, I'll just tell you.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43There are 22 of them, and that is one scary number.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47He's onto the ledge,
0:09:47 > 0:09:50ripping and... Oh, dear! Down for the count.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59Right in the jaw. One, two, three...
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Ah, I'll stop it. I will stop it.
0:10:04 > 0:10:09Dan Dan the Numbers Man needs to get his angles just right now.
0:10:09 > 0:10:15OK, here he goes on the Swing Thing. Yeah...
0:10:16 > 0:10:18That was monumental.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22Yeah. Something failed somewhere.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24A lot of falls from Dan Dan the Numbers Man.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Will his time of 4 minutes and 5 seconds get him into the top 12?
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Yes! Whoo!
0:10:29 > 0:10:33If there's one thing I'd like to do more of on this show, it's dancing.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36I love dancing. And I'm brilliant at it.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39I would show you, but unfortunately, I've left my leotard at home.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43There is currently a debate raging in the dancing underworld -
0:10:43 > 0:10:46which is best, Highland dancing or street dancing?
0:10:46 > 0:10:52Well, these next two competitors should answer that age-old dance question once and for all.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56That's Courtney on the left and Amanda on the right.
0:10:56 > 0:10:5921-year-old Courtney is a street dancer from Kent,
0:10:59 > 0:11:04and 39-year-old Amanda is a Highland-dancing champion from Corby.
0:11:04 > 0:11:08Together, they are, well, Courtney and Amanda.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11Whoo! You've got to be in it to win it!
0:11:12 > 0:11:17You can fling me high, you can fling me low, but I'm here to give it a go!
0:11:17 > 0:11:21That's Highland Amanda off first. Ouch!
0:11:21 > 0:11:25Closely followed by Street Courtney.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27There's no dignity available there. Just get on with it.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Highland Amanda's at the Keys.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32She's represented by the little kilt at the bottom of the screen.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Oh, no! Oh, dear, she's in.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36# You should be dancin', yeah! #
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Being nimble on her feet should help Courtney here. Yep. No!
0:11:39 > 0:11:41# I'm never going to dance again. #
0:11:41 > 0:11:44As well as being a dancer, Courtney's also a massage therapist,
0:11:44 > 0:11:48so she'll know the names of all the muscles she's just pulled there.
0:11:48 > 0:11:49It's neck and neck, well,
0:11:49 > 0:11:52shoe and kilt as Amanda reaches the Sucker Punch.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Doing very well.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57Looking good. Yes...
0:11:57 > 0:12:00She's going to make it. Yes!
0:12:00 > 0:12:03The Big Balls now for Amanda.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Oh. Not so good.
0:12:07 > 0:12:12Courtney arrives at the Sucker Punch and disembarks immediately.
0:12:13 > 0:12:18This is rapidly becoming a one-horse race, although I don't mean either of these women look like horses.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Obviously, I didn't say that.
0:12:20 > 0:12:25Highland Amanda has raced ahead to the Swing Thing...
0:12:25 > 0:12:28..and raced straight into the water.
0:12:28 > 0:12:33Can Street Courtney retain some street cred with a good final swing?
0:12:33 > 0:12:35No. No, she can't.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40Highland Amanda poses a time of 3 minutes 28
0:12:40 > 0:12:43and does the Highland chicken.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46While Courtney drags her street feet and gets 3 minute 51.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49# Your tiger feet. #
0:12:49 > 0:12:56Next to go is 37-year-old Joe from Lanark, and he's oozing confidence if not basic balancing skills.
0:12:56 > 0:13:01So, Joe, do you think you've got what it takes to win Total Wipeout?
0:13:01 > 0:13:04# I'm the master, watch me compete
0:13:04 > 0:13:08# Nobody can beat me at all. #
0:13:09 > 0:13:10OK, let's take that as a yes.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Can Joe master the Crazy Keys?
0:13:13 > 0:13:14Oh...
0:13:14 > 0:13:15Argh!
0:13:15 > 0:13:19Not exactly, although if I could, I'd award points for that dismount.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23It was a lovely fluid motion as he rolls down and round.
0:13:23 > 0:13:28It's almost balletic in a very, very odd sort of way.
0:13:28 > 0:13:33Masterful Joe's currently hovering between master and disaster.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Yeah, more of a disaster.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Oh, much more. That's the wrong way, Joe. Over here.
0:13:38 > 0:13:42Having found his way out of the mud, Joe finishes in a time of 4 min 30
0:13:42 > 0:13:46and takes his place on today's first leader board, which looks like this.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56That's an all-female top five.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07So far, everyone's made it into the top 12.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09That's because only eight competitors have had a go.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12With 12 still yet to tackle the qualifier, I'm on the edge of
0:14:12 > 0:14:17my seat, primarily because it's very uncomfortable - actually, they're refusing to give me a cushion -
0:14:17 > 0:14:19but also because the competition's hotting up.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Though, if pushed, I'd say it's mainly the cushion thing.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26This is 42-year-old Geraldine from Northern Ireland.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30She's a world champion athlete with superhuman powers...
0:14:30 > 0:14:33- May the G-force be with me. - ..sort of.
0:14:35 > 0:14:36Yeah, what is going on here?
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Very impressive.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42Geraldine has medals in heptathlon, pole vault, javelin. This girl is gonna be good.
0:14:42 > 0:14:48I wonder if her medals will be any use on the Crazy Keys... Oh, nearly.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Oh, sadly not.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52She's like a comic-book hero.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55Yeah, G-Force Geraldine on the second set now.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58A better start this time.
0:14:58 > 0:14:59That looked painful.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03But somehow Geraldine stays up there, and she is going to make it.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07- She's across, the first today. - Yes!- Yes. Was that meant to happen?
0:15:07 > 0:15:08Sucker Punch now.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10What's she got up her sleeve?
0:15:10 > 0:15:12Yeah, goggles. I'm sure that'll help.
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Super Geraldine!
0:15:17 > 0:15:21Yeah, G-Force is storming across, completely unflustered.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24And she's made it. This is looking good.
0:15:24 > 0:15:28Can Geraldine add a Big Balls gold medal to her impressive stash?
0:15:28 > 0:15:30I'd love it if she made it. Here we go.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- One, two...- Ooh!- ..three...
0:15:34 > 0:15:39No gold medal for beating the Big Balls, but a silver medal for style.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42G-Force Geraldine storms the Qualifier
0:15:42 > 0:15:45in 2 minutes 40, the fastest today.
0:15:47 > 0:15:53This is 37-year-old Julie from Clydebank, and she's been having quite a day.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56In fact, she's just thrown in the towel. She's had enough.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59It all started so well.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02I say "well". Wobbly is probably closer to the truth.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04And slippery.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Yeah, and quite bumpy.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10But she was having a great time.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11Probably.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15She gave it her best, and that's all that counts.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18She quit while she was ahead-ish.
0:16:18 > 0:16:23Luckily for Julie, she got to press the flesh with Eduardo and Little Eduardo.
0:16:23 > 0:16:28I'm joined now at the top of the Qualifier by Steve from Redcar, who is our oldest contestant today.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32Steve! So, are you put off by the young ones?
0:16:32 > 0:16:36No, definitely not put off. I think they're in for a bit of a shock.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Remember, even the tallest man's got to bow when the roof is low.
0:16:39 > 0:16:40What?
0:16:42 > 0:16:46This is for all the over-50s! Yeah!
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Yeah, wise words there from Steve, the Prophet of Tyneside,
0:16:49 > 0:16:53who's responsible for health and safety at Redcar College.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Ooh, I wonder what he'd say of the health and safety of that.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Clearly, that's just a comedy fall waiting to happen.
0:17:00 > 0:17:01And it did.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08Steve is not the only one to have struggled with the Crazy Keyboard today.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11They might look like a harmless set of giant piano keys,
0:17:11 > 0:17:15but they're actually railway sleepers pinched from an Argentinean siding
0:17:15 > 0:17:17and wrapped in tissue paper for safety.
0:17:51 > 0:17:56Can 28-year-old legal executive Michelle handle the Crazy Keys?
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Oh... Ah... No.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04That's an absolutely hilarious, "Clearly, no".
0:18:04 > 0:18:07How about 33-year-old NHS officer Louise?
0:18:07 > 0:18:09She looks like a light-footed lady.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Not that gravity much cares, really.
0:18:18 > 0:18:24Now, get ready to rock, because next to go is 38-year-old music tutor Ewan from Devon,
0:18:24 > 0:18:28who, in his spare time, is the singer in an AC/DC tribute band.
0:18:28 > 0:18:32HE SPEAKS SPANISH
0:18:32 > 0:18:36Trying to woo the Qualifier in its native tongue won't help, Ewan.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38I don't know what that was.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Will Ewan rock these Balls, or roll off them?
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Kind of roll off them is more what he did.
0:18:43 > 0:18:44Ewan, though, is such a pro.
0:18:44 > 0:18:49This is exactly how a heavy rocker would have fallen off the Balls.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Maybe. Maybe not in those shorts.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55A time of 3 minutes 11 puts Ewan safely in the top 12 -
0:18:55 > 0:18:57what you might call an AC/DC-ent effort.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00I wouldn't call it that, but you might.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Next to go is 28-year-old Barnaby from London.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07He's a beekeeper and looks after nearly half a million bees.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Ooh, think of all that honey.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13Personally, I'm more of a jam man myself, but... Anyway, I digress.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15It's the Crazy Keys first, and...
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Oh, nearly!
0:19:17 > 0:19:19- Oh!- Now, that's no way to "beehive".
0:19:19 > 0:19:23Yeah, that's got to sting. I'm sure Barnaby is used to that.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26The Big Balls now for Barnaby.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29He makes his way up to the ever-stationary Motivator.
0:19:29 > 0:19:30Budget well spent there...
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Maybe this time it'll be used.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34No, he's off.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38Ooh, and that's not going to help his time one little bit.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Come on, Barnaby.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44Onto the Swing Thing, and he pauses to evaluate the challenge...
0:19:44 > 0:19:46and gets absolutely nowhere near.
0:19:47 > 0:19:52But Bumbling Barnaby finishes in a pretty respectable 3 minutes 41.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56I didn't quite fly, but yeah!
0:20:15 > 0:20:2015 now broken and burnt-out competitors have so far taken on the Qualifier,
0:20:20 > 0:20:24which means there are five fresh-faced challengers yet to become broken and burnt-out.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28Which of them can squeeze into the top 12 qualifiers?
0:20:28 > 0:20:31Could it be 47-year-old Muz from Essex?
0:20:31 > 0:20:33He calls himself the Mad Turk.
0:20:33 > 0:20:37This is because he has Turkish parentage and, well, you figure it out.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Muz, how are you doing?
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Very well. Very super-fit and ready for today. I'm the next level!
0:20:42 > 0:20:45- How do you think you're going to do? - 100%. I'm a winner.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48- I'm taking the trophy home. - You're a bit confident.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51- Do you normally win everything that you do?- I'm a perfectionist.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56I am the man! I am the man!
0:20:56 > 0:21:00Yeah, well, he is confident, certainly.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04How will Muz the Man deal with the Total Wipeout Balls?
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Not so well.
0:21:10 > 0:21:15Muz misses the first and goes headlong into that second Ball.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Yeah. He's peeled himself off that Ball
0:21:17 > 0:21:19and now attempts the Swing Thing.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Oh. Perhaps he shouldn't have bothered.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26Muz the Man finishes in a time of 3 minutes 49,
0:21:26 > 0:21:27which has shut him up...
0:21:27 > 0:21:29thankfully.
0:21:29 > 0:21:35Like evidence from a crime scene, I've got this course bagged and tagged.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38My detective work tells me that this is 29-year-old
0:21:38 > 0:21:40crime scene investigator James from Bristol.
0:21:40 > 0:21:45You don't need to be a detective to work out that that was probably quite painful. Ow!
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Crime Scene James is a big believer in karma,
0:21:47 > 0:21:50so let's see what his performance over the Qualifier
0:21:50 > 0:21:52says about his previous behaviour.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55Oh, must have done some very bad things.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59James dances across... Oh!
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Falls, but manages to hang on.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04And he's across.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Well done, James.
0:22:08 > 0:22:12Time for Crime Scene James to be investigated by the Sucker Punch.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13He's on...
0:22:13 > 0:22:16And it's looking good so far.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21He's made it!
0:22:21 > 0:22:25This is shaping up to be a very good run from Crime Scene James.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27The Big Balls now.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Oh. Oh, dear.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Let's do a quick autopsy on that attempt.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Victim shows lack of co-ordination.
0:22:37 > 0:22:41Cause of fall, a deadly cocktail of Big Red Balls and gravity.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44James tamed the Sucker Punch
0:22:44 > 0:22:47and I'm hoping he'll do the same with the Swing Thing.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Sometimes I'm just way too hopeful.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56He was doing so well!
0:22:56 > 0:23:00But Crime Scene James finishes with a time of 2 minutes 17.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04Is that the best of the day? Yes, it is. Mystery solved.
0:23:07 > 0:23:12I'm joined now at the top of the Qualifier by JP, who's a student from Aylesbury.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Please tell me that you're not one of those students
0:23:15 > 0:23:20- who locks himself at home all day, closes the curtains, eats pizza and plays computer games.- Pretty much.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23That is pretty much all I do. It's great.
0:23:23 > 0:23:28Yeah, well, playing computer games really is no preparation for Total Wipeout.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30What's this? His warm-up?
0:23:32 > 0:23:37Player 2, insert another coin, but it's Player 1 at the controls.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41You can have the strongest thumbs in the world and they won't help.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Neither will the ability to slay dragons and robot overlords.
0:23:44 > 0:23:48It's no use. Right, he's onto the Crazy Keys first.
0:23:48 > 0:23:52Not a keyboard, just actual keys. Will it... Yes...
0:23:52 > 0:23:57Computer skills no help there at all.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03OK, JP, let's press on.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Yeah, your helicopter would help here,
0:24:05 > 0:24:08but that's not a real one you use, it's just a game.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11And you're all wet. And that's real water!
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Yeah, it actually hurts for real.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15So there you go, kids - lesson learnt.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Don't spend all day on the sofa playing computer games.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Get out and do something active in the real world.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24But please do carry on watching television, obviously,
0:24:24 > 0:24:27or I'll be on the dole. That's quite important.
0:24:28 > 0:24:33A final failure on the Swing Thing, and that's that.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Time for another victim. Who's next?
0:24:35 > 0:24:37Do you think you can win Total Wipeout, Chris?
0:24:37 > 0:24:41Pain is temporary, pride is forever, and no-one remembers second place.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43By the power of chocolates!
0:24:43 > 0:24:4535-year-old Chris from Birmingham
0:24:45 > 0:24:48said that because he works in a chocolate factory.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50Brilliant, a real-life Willy Wonka!
0:24:50 > 0:24:52No pain, no pain...
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Let's hope so, Chris.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Oh, this looks good!
0:24:57 > 0:25:00But no, Chris takes an early swim in the chocolate river.
0:25:00 > 0:25:01Lots of pain...
0:25:01 > 0:25:04Yeah, but Chris, pain is only temporary, remember?
0:25:04 > 0:25:05You said that.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07As part of his training,
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Chris eats six bars of chocolate a day instead of eight.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12- Let's see what you've got, Big Balls.- That's a sacrifice.
0:25:12 > 0:25:13Yeah!
0:25:16 > 0:25:17Ooh, dear.
0:25:18 > 0:25:22A little bit more Willy Wonky than Willy Wonka.
0:25:22 > 0:25:23No pain...
0:25:23 > 0:25:26That's right, no pain. Well, not for us, we're just watching.
0:25:26 > 0:25:31You're doing it. Goggles on, prepare for launch
0:25:31 > 0:25:33on the Swing Thing.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35And he's made it!
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Just one small jump left off the Cradle.
0:25:38 > 0:25:39Come on!
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Ooh, yes, great finish from Chocolate-Coated Chris
0:25:43 > 0:25:46- in a time of 2 minutes 59. - Yeah, baby!
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Fight the pain, get through.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Just keep going. No pain.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53But I did feel lots of pain.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55It's a pain theme with Chris.
0:25:55 > 0:25:59Today's final contender is 29-year-old community safety officer Lisa,
0:25:59 > 0:26:03and I'm not sure those goggles are standard issue.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07So, what kind of skills have you got going on, then, Lisa?
0:26:07 > 0:26:08Erm...
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Erm...
0:26:12 > 0:26:14Not a great deal, actually!
0:26:14 > 0:26:18No, what she actually means is she's got too many skills to mention.
0:26:18 > 0:26:23Oh, the Motivator is released once again. Just misses.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26Lisa's other skills include smearing mud on rubber balls,
0:26:26 > 0:26:30splashing, and narrowly avoiding giant foam pendulums.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33All came in more useful than ever she imagined they might.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36And they're all still skills, Lisa.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Onto the Swing Thing now.
0:26:41 > 0:26:45Unfortunately, Lisa's skills do not extend to trapeze work
0:26:45 > 0:26:48or getting onto foam swings. Well, swinging's a skill.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50You can probably get a degree in it somewhere.
0:26:50 > 0:26:51Oh!
0:26:51 > 0:26:55OK, apparently we are in danger of delaying the ten o'clock news,
0:26:55 > 0:26:59so we'll leave Lisa and her skills dangling.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04The final leaderboard looks like this.
0:27:22 > 0:27:26So, they started as 20, but now only 12 remain,
0:27:26 > 0:27:30which means it's time to bid farewell to the eight gallant losers.
0:27:30 > 0:27:31SAD PIANO MUSIC PLAYS
0:27:31 > 0:27:34Come on, can't the music be a little bit more cheery?
0:27:34 > 0:27:37We should be celebrating their dismal and abject failure.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39- MUSIC: "Let Your Love Flow" - Thank you.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43# There's a reason
0:27:43 > 0:27:45# For the sunshiny sky
0:27:45 > 0:27:46# And there's a reason
0:27:48 > 0:27:50# Why I'm feeling so high
0:27:50 > 0:27:51# Must be the season
0:27:53 > 0:27:56# When that love light shines all around us
0:27:59 > 0:28:03# Just let your love flow Like a mountain stream
0:28:03 > 0:28:05# And let your love grow
0:28:05 > 0:28:07# With the smallest of dreams
0:28:07 > 0:28:10# And let your love show
0:28:10 > 0:28:12# And you'll know what I mean
0:28:12 > 0:28:14# It's the season... #
0:28:23 > 0:28:26Fuse the awe of Everest,
0:28:26 > 0:28:29the mechanical intricacies of a Swiss watch
0:28:29 > 0:28:31and the practicality of a kitchen spatula
0:28:31 > 0:28:33and you end up with Crash Mountain.
0:28:33 > 0:28:38The competitors must leap from their podiums onto the rotating spoon
0:28:38 > 0:28:42and make their way to the middle without being knocked off by the spinning watch hands.
0:28:42 > 0:28:47Each time they fall in, it's a swim and a climb back up their podiums for another try.
0:28:47 > 0:28:51The first five across go through to the next round. Easy.
0:28:51 > 0:28:55On podiums one, two and three,
0:28:55 > 0:28:57it's the Prophet of Tyneside,
0:28:57 > 0:28:59Brainy Amy,
0:28:59 > 0:29:01and Crime Scene James.
0:29:01 > 0:29:04All the evidence points to me winning this one.
0:29:04 > 0:29:10On four, five, six and seven, it's Rock On Ewan,
0:29:10 > 0:29:13Chocolate-Coated Chris,
0:29:13 > 0:29:15Jolly Jemma,
0:29:15 > 0:29:20- and Muz the Man. - A-G, A-G-R, A-G-R-O, aggro!
0:29:20 > 0:29:22The Mad Turk is ready to go!
0:29:22 > 0:29:24He's still confident.
0:29:24 > 0:29:26On podiums eight and nine,
0:29:26 > 0:29:28it's G-Force Geraldine
0:29:28 > 0:29:30and Bumbling Barnaby.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32- Yeah.- Make an effort, Barnaby.
0:29:32 > 0:29:36And on podiums 10, 11 and 12,
0:29:36 > 0:29:38- it's Street Courtney... - Come on and spin it!
0:29:38 > 0:29:40I'm in it to win it!
0:29:40 > 0:29:42..Love-Heart Rachel...
0:29:42 > 0:29:44and Highland Amanda.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46I always knew I belonged on a pedestal.
0:29:46 > 0:29:49Yep, and you're probably about to be knocked off one.
0:29:49 > 0:29:56So, 12 stand, but only 5 will remain, each one step closer to winning that £10,000 prize.
0:29:56 > 0:30:00Strap yourselves in. If you've had seat belts fitted to your sofa, that is.
0:30:00 > 0:30:02This is going to be good.
0:30:02 > 0:30:0312 contestants left.
0:30:03 > 0:30:08The tension's mounting on Crash Mountain. Are you ready?
0:30:08 > 0:30:11- Yeah!- Ooh, I think so.
0:30:11 > 0:30:14Three, two, one!
0:30:14 > 0:30:17Start the spatula.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20So, who will be the first brave soul to attempt Crash Mountain?
0:30:23 > 0:30:24They're all tempted, but no.
0:30:24 > 0:30:28Oh, it's G-Force Geraldine, and she's straight in the water.
0:30:28 > 0:30:30Couldn't have timed that worse.
0:30:30 > 0:30:32Right into the sweeper arm.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35Jolly Jemma's next, ducking below the arm.
0:30:35 > 0:30:40You need to get up again, Jemma. You've got to get up.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42Oh, no. Maybe not, then.
0:30:42 > 0:30:46Jemma tries to stand up but is completely taken out.
0:30:46 > 0:30:47It's all in the timing.
0:30:49 > 0:30:51Love-Heart Rachel steps out now...
0:30:51 > 0:30:55- Wipeout!- ..and straight into the flying sweeper arm.
0:30:58 > 0:31:01Rock On Ewan decides to give it a go.
0:31:01 > 0:31:04The Prophet of Tyneside has a go.
0:31:04 > 0:31:06Go on, Steve!
0:31:07 > 0:31:09Tried to jump the sweeping arm.
0:31:09 > 0:31:12Good effort. Not much of a prophet, though, Steve.
0:31:12 > 0:31:15You didn't see that one coming.
0:31:15 > 0:31:19Crime Scene James now has a dash for it.
0:31:19 > 0:31:21That was close.
0:31:23 > 0:31:27Brainy Amy's next on. She's ducked the sweeper arm.
0:31:27 > 0:31:31Oh, she walked straight into it that time.
0:31:31 > 0:31:37Amy might be an Oxford University brainbox, but that wasn't very clever.
0:31:37 > 0:31:41Street Courtney has a go. She's up and...
0:31:41 > 0:31:43Oh, so close!
0:31:43 > 0:31:46Still no-one's made it across.
0:31:46 > 0:31:48Jemma now on the bridge again.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50Off the bridge again.
0:31:51 > 0:31:56Don't forget, only the first five onto the middle will make it through to Dizzy Dummies.
0:31:58 > 0:32:03Y'know, some time soon these guys will actually learn to dodge the sweeper arm.
0:32:03 > 0:32:07- Oh, Muz the Man is on, and he's made it!- Yes! Yes! Yes!
0:32:07 > 0:32:11I think he's possibly quite pleased about it, as well.
0:32:11 > 0:32:12One well-timed charge.
0:32:12 > 0:32:15Muz the Man makes it through to the Dizzy Dummies. Good for him.
0:32:15 > 0:32:18What is Muz actually doing up there?
0:32:18 > 0:32:21Doesn't help. Super-athlete Geraldine has another go.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23Run! Run for your life!
0:32:25 > 0:32:27She's slipped at the last minute.
0:32:27 > 0:32:32Chocolate-Coated Chris has a dash, and is across too.
0:32:32 > 0:32:34Muz up to his old tricks.
0:32:36 > 0:32:37Yeah.
0:32:37 > 0:32:40So, only three places left in the next round.
0:32:40 > 0:32:42Amy's got her brain in gear and goes again.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44- Come on, Amy! - Here she goes. She's down.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48The sweeper arm nearly cut her in half.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53Street Courtney is on.
0:32:53 > 0:32:58Come on, Courtney, you need to get up.
0:32:58 > 0:33:01- Come on, Courtney! - She's up. This is looking good.
0:33:01 > 0:33:03Not looking so good.
0:33:04 > 0:33:08Courtney abandoned her crawling strategy at the wrong moment.
0:33:10 > 0:33:13G-Force Geraldine has yet another attempt.
0:33:13 > 0:33:15Fingers crossed this time.
0:33:15 > 0:33:17Come on, Geraldine!
0:33:17 > 0:33:21Ah, fingers uncrossed. Well, she's distinctive in those shorts.
0:33:21 > 0:33:27Hard to miss her, as proven by the sweeper arm, which certainly didn't miss.
0:33:27 > 0:33:28Crime Scene James makes a jump.
0:33:28 > 0:33:33- He's on the bridge. And he's made it!- Yay!
0:33:33 > 0:33:37So far, then, the only successful method has been the "run and hope for the best" approach.
0:33:37 > 0:33:41Brainy Amy having another go. Clean landing, good dodging.
0:33:41 > 0:33:44Can she make it to the middle?
0:33:44 > 0:33:46Come on, Amy...
0:33:46 > 0:33:49Yes, she can, with a little bit of help. She's on.
0:33:49 > 0:33:52Yes!
0:33:52 > 0:33:54One more place, gang.
0:33:54 > 0:33:57So Muz, Chris, James and Amy are safely through.
0:33:57 > 0:34:02The Prophet of Tyneside, Rock On Ewan, Jolly Jemma, G-Force Geraldine,
0:34:02 > 0:34:06Bumbling Barnaby, Street Courtney, Love-Heart Rachel and Highland Amanda
0:34:06 > 0:34:09are all fighting for the last place in the next round.
0:34:09 > 0:34:11Barnaby's turn to have a go.
0:34:11 > 0:34:13Needs to time this just right.
0:34:17 > 0:34:20No. He forgot to avoid the sweeper arm
0:34:20 > 0:34:23and it cost him that attempt.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26Now the Prophet of Tyneside has a go.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28Steve, you've got to get up.
0:34:28 > 0:34:31You've got to get up. Courtney's jumped on too.
0:34:33 > 0:34:37And Steve's fallen at the last moment. Can Courtney do any better?
0:34:37 > 0:34:42Well, she's got the bridge to herself, but she needs to get on her dancing feet.
0:34:42 > 0:34:43She's up.
0:34:43 > 0:34:45She's down.
0:34:45 > 0:34:51Street Courtney couldn't move her dancing feet quick enough and is levelled by the sweeper arm.
0:34:51 > 0:34:56Highland Amanda's been biding her time, but now she strikes.
0:34:56 > 0:34:59Watch out for the arm. Come on, get up.
0:34:59 > 0:35:01Come on, Amanda!
0:35:05 > 0:35:06Make your move.
0:35:06 > 0:35:09Oh, she's actually hopped onto the sweeper arm.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11That's unorthodox, but it's worked.
0:35:11 > 0:35:15She's made it and joins Muz, Chris, James and Amy in the next round.
0:35:17 > 0:35:19You know who I feel sorry for?
0:35:19 > 0:35:20G-Force Geraldine.
0:35:20 > 0:35:26What determination, what stamina and resilience, what tiny shorts.
0:35:26 > 0:35:30She may not have got through to the next round, but she will always be a winner in my book.
0:35:30 > 0:35:33God, if my wife ever finds that book...
0:35:33 > 0:35:36Ooh, trouble.
0:35:36 > 0:35:37Sorry. What were we doing?
0:35:39 > 0:35:44I am gutted. My little feet didn't work as fast as they should.
0:35:45 > 0:35:47'My legs were just shaking,'
0:35:47 > 0:35:51and then the thoughts of making everybody proud... It just...
0:35:51 > 0:35:53'went, though.'
0:35:53 > 0:35:57I'm so proud I've got this far and managed to get through it.
0:35:57 > 0:35:58Yeah, five more minutes,
0:35:58 > 0:36:01I might have stood a chance, but it's a hard task.
0:36:02 > 0:36:03'I want to see James win it'
0:36:03 > 0:36:07because he's so shocked to be getting through all these rounds!
0:36:07 > 0:36:10'I think it'd be great if he won.'
0:36:10 > 0:36:13I can't believe Muz, he just zoomed over, completely dry.
0:36:13 > 0:36:17'A bit of luck, that, I think!'
0:36:17 > 0:36:21I want Amanda to crash down on Dizzy Dummies,
0:36:21 > 0:36:24and no boys should help her. Amanda, grr!
0:36:30 > 0:36:32As Oscar Wilde once said,
0:36:32 > 0:36:36to lose seven contestants may be regarded as a misfortune,
0:36:36 > 0:36:40to lose another two would give us enough contestants for the Wipeout Zone.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43I'm paraphrasing, but that was the gist.
0:36:43 > 0:36:45There are two ways to lose those contestants.
0:36:45 > 0:36:49One is to put them in an unlicensed minicab from Buenos Aires airport.
0:36:49 > 0:36:54Every time. The other, surprisingly safer option, is to crank up the Dizzy Dummy.
0:36:59 > 0:37:03The competitors start their journey of discovery in the Spinner.
0:37:03 > 0:37:07They then make their way through this door, which is also spinning -
0:37:07 > 0:37:11there's a pattern emerging here - before facing the Tippy Table Maze.
0:37:11 > 0:37:14The last to cross is eliminated. Then it's back to the start to do it again.
0:37:14 > 0:37:19This time sees the return of an old friend. I use the term "friend" loosely. It's the Doughnuts.
0:37:19 > 0:37:25The last to cross goes home and the remaining three qualify for the Wipeout Zone.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27Is it cruel to call somebody a Dizzy Dummy?
0:37:27 > 0:37:30Not when there's £10,000 at stake!
0:37:30 > 0:37:31Are you all ready?
0:37:35 > 0:37:39Silence is golden. Three, two, one!
0:37:39 > 0:37:44As the competitors try their best not to see their breakfast for the second time today,
0:37:44 > 0:37:46let's take stock of who's still in the game.
0:37:46 > 0:37:48- Oh, my God!- Who's first?
0:37:48 > 0:37:53It's headband-wearing chocolate factory worker...
0:37:53 > 0:37:57- By the power of chocolate! - ..Chocolate-Coated Chris.- Yes!
0:37:59 > 0:38:03Then it's Oxford University student and all-round genius...
0:38:03 > 0:38:06This is for all the fit physicists! Come on!
0:38:06 > 0:38:09..Brainy Amy.
0:38:09 > 0:38:10No way!
0:38:11 > 0:38:14Then there's karma lover and today's fastest qualifier...
0:38:14 > 0:38:19Like evidence from a crime scene, I've got this course bagged and tagged.
0:38:19 > 0:38:21..Crime Scene James.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23What is going on?
0:38:23 > 0:38:27Next, the Scottish jigger and dancing queen...
0:38:27 > 0:38:31You can fling me high, you can fling me low, but I'm here to give it a go!
0:38:31 > 0:38:33..it's Highland Amanda.
0:38:35 > 0:38:41- Finally, it's the Mad Turk and king of Crash Mountain...- Yes!
0:38:41 > 0:38:42..it's Muz the Man.
0:38:44 > 0:38:50The spinner stops spinning. The competitors' heads keep spinning, and away they go.
0:38:50 > 0:38:54Crime Scene James is out first, followed swiftly by Muz the Man,
0:38:54 > 0:38:57who takes an early tumble, as does James.
0:38:57 > 0:39:00But Muz now through the door...
0:39:01 > 0:39:07..and first onto the Tippy Table Maze, which really sounds like a terrifying obstacle, doesn't it(!)
0:39:07 > 0:39:09Muz moves swiftly onto the second Table,
0:39:09 > 0:39:13but Chocolate-Coated Chris has had some sort of sugar rush
0:39:13 > 0:39:14and come out of nowhere,
0:39:14 > 0:39:16but is in the water.
0:39:18 > 0:39:26Chris flies across, and does his best to avoid gravity, but gravity, as it tends to, wins.
0:39:26 > 0:39:30As Chris swims back to the start, Muz hangs on for dear life.
0:39:30 > 0:39:33And there's Amy, using her brain.
0:39:33 > 0:39:36Oh, she knocked Muz right off!
0:39:36 > 0:39:41It matters not, and Amy has crossed the line. She's safely through.
0:39:41 > 0:39:46Not quite sure what Highland Amanda's been doing, but she's finally decided to join the fun,
0:39:46 > 0:39:49with Chocolate-Coated Chris in hot pursuit.
0:39:49 > 0:39:52Keep your chocolate-coated hands to yourself, Chris.
0:39:52 > 0:39:55I'm sure after waiting all that time, Amanda will be chuffed to bits
0:39:55 > 0:39:57that Chris tipped the Table, and made her fall in.
0:40:01 > 0:40:04James goes again, whilst the others wait patiently in line.
0:40:04 > 0:40:07Looks more like a Post Office queue than a competition.
0:40:07 > 0:40:08"After you." "No, after you."
0:40:08 > 0:40:11Muz has jumped on as well.
0:40:17 > 0:40:19With Chris just behind.
0:40:19 > 0:40:21What's James doing? Looking for evidence?
0:40:24 > 0:40:26Muz the Man has just gone straight past him
0:40:26 > 0:40:29and if Crime Scene James isn't careful,
0:40:29 > 0:40:31Chocolate-Coated Chris will too.
0:40:31 > 0:40:33James seems to have frozen.
0:40:35 > 0:40:37He's just stuck. Here comes Chris.
0:40:37 > 0:40:43Ooh, no, it was a bit hasty, and slowcoach James has been let off, for now.
0:40:43 > 0:40:46Muz and James are still hanging on to that second Table
0:40:46 > 0:40:50and don't look like they have any intention of moving off it. Come on!
0:40:50 > 0:40:53Somebody make a move.
0:40:53 > 0:40:55Muz has crossed the line.
0:40:55 > 0:40:59I'm really pleased for him, though probably not as pleased as he is for himself.
0:40:59 > 0:41:03While James has been admiring the scenery from that Table, Amanda's caught him.
0:41:03 > 0:41:05No. No, she's fallen in.
0:41:05 > 0:41:10Another let-off for James. Has his fabled karma kicked in at just the right time?
0:41:10 > 0:41:15He just needs to get round that last section of the Maze and he'll be safe.
0:41:15 > 0:41:17Come on, James, you can do it.
0:41:18 > 0:41:21I think he's exhausted. He's just got nothing left in the tank.
0:41:26 > 0:41:32James now taking so long that Chris has swum all the way back to the start, and caught him again.
0:41:32 > 0:41:36- And Chris has made it across! - Come on!
0:41:36 > 0:41:40That means one of Crime Scene James or Highland Amanda
0:41:40 > 0:41:43will be eliminated, and the way things are going, that could be James.
0:41:43 > 0:41:46No, he's woken from his slumber and crossed the line...
0:41:48 > 0:41:52..which means Highland Amanda is eliminated.
0:41:52 > 0:41:55- What was it in the end that got you, do you think?- Oh, sheer tiredness.
0:41:55 > 0:42:01- It's so exhausting. And that Table there is just so light.- I know.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03- It just flips you.- Oh!- Oh!
0:42:06 > 0:42:11Off they go once again, round and round and round, for what must seem like a lifetime.
0:42:11 > 0:42:15When they finally stop spinning, they'll be facing the dreaded Doughnuts.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18Or the trees. Or the cameraman.
0:42:18 > 0:42:21Or their lunch. It all depends on how dizzy they are.
0:42:23 > 0:42:25They're off.
0:42:25 > 0:42:29And Brainy Amy is out first, and looking a little unsteady there.
0:42:29 > 0:42:33What's Chocolate-Coated Chris up to? This way, Chris, over here. There you go.
0:42:33 > 0:42:41Brainy Amy makes it through the door first, followed by Muz the Man and Crime Scene James.
0:42:41 > 0:42:43Oh, Muz takes another tumble.
0:42:43 > 0:42:46Seems to spend more time on the floor than on his feet.
0:42:49 > 0:42:53He is back on his feet, though, and onto the first Doughnut.
0:42:53 > 0:42:56Muz has been talking the talk all day.
0:42:56 > 0:42:59Let's see if he can walk the walk. So far, so good.
0:43:01 > 0:43:05Amy just behind there, on the first Doughnut.
0:43:05 > 0:43:07Oh, no, Muz is in.
0:43:07 > 0:43:12He couldn't walk the walk, so must now swim the swim all the way back to the start.
0:43:12 > 0:43:15Oh, no, now Amy's slipped in. That wasn't very smart.
0:43:15 > 0:43:17It's not as easy as it looks.
0:43:17 > 0:43:22And that leaves a clear run for Chris, who makes it onto the second Doughnut.
0:43:26 > 0:43:28And the third. This is looking good.
0:43:30 > 0:43:31Go on!
0:43:31 > 0:43:33Ooh... And he's made it!
0:43:33 > 0:43:37Chocolate-Coated Chris is the first through to the Wipeout Zone today.
0:43:39 > 0:43:41So, who's going to join him?
0:43:41 > 0:43:45Crime Scene James looking good there, on the third Doughnut.
0:43:45 > 0:43:49Seems to have found some energy from somewhere. Using up reserves now.
0:43:49 > 0:43:51He's going to need that energy for this final jump.
0:43:51 > 0:43:53Here he goes.
0:43:53 > 0:43:54Yes!
0:43:54 > 0:43:55Oh, no!
0:43:55 > 0:43:59He's messed it up! What a doughnut. Will that be his last chance?
0:43:59 > 0:44:02Well, there's Muz the Man,
0:44:02 > 0:44:06who now has a chance to make up for his earlier mistake,
0:44:06 > 0:44:08with Amy just behind.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12Ooh, Muz safely now on the third Doughnut,
0:44:12 > 0:44:15but Amy's fallen in just behind.
0:44:15 > 0:44:17Just one leap to go. And he's made it.
0:44:17 > 0:44:20Muz joins Chris in the Wipeout Zone.
0:44:20 > 0:44:26A great performance there from Muz the Man, and no, I think he IS pleased about that.
0:44:28 > 0:44:30So, only one place in the Wipeout Zone up for grabs.
0:44:30 > 0:44:34Will it be Crime Scene James or Brainy Amy that takes it?
0:44:36 > 0:44:39Well, it's James. He makes up the final three.
0:44:39 > 0:44:43He can't believe it, and, quite frankly, neither can I.
0:44:43 > 0:44:46Brainy Amy is eliminated.
0:44:46 > 0:44:50My bouncy, brainy scientist! You're so bouncy and gymnasticky.
0:44:50 > 0:44:53I thought you'd just do that in no time.
0:44:53 > 0:44:55Yeah, unfortunately not.
0:44:55 > 0:44:59So, it's the boys who make it through to today's Wipeout Zone
0:44:59 > 0:45:02and the girls, Amanda and Amy, who lose out.
0:45:02 > 0:45:06You see? Men are just better at spinning around and falling off foam obstacles.
0:45:06 > 0:45:10Women are better at everything else.
0:45:10 > 0:45:14The Wipeout Zone awaits Crime Scene James, Muz the Man and Chocolate-Coated Chris,
0:45:14 > 0:45:17and it's been a very emotional journey for all three of them.
0:45:17 > 0:45:20Well, not that emotional, but a bit emotional.
0:45:24 > 0:45:28'I said I was the next level. I AM the next level.'
0:45:28 > 0:45:31I said I'd get here, and I'm here.
0:45:31 > 0:45:35'I've had an amazing journey. Getting here has been a hard slog.'
0:45:35 > 0:45:38I'm just feeling rather proud of myself now.
0:45:38 > 0:45:41'Facing the Wipeout Zone tonight, it's why I'm here,'
0:45:41 > 0:45:44and I will be standing there at the end, victorious.
0:45:46 > 0:45:47'Chris has got determination.'
0:45:47 > 0:45:50Chris is hungry. He wants to win it.
0:45:50 > 0:45:55James is a slippery snake, but I have no fear.
0:45:55 > 0:45:58Nothing will get in my way.
0:45:58 > 0:46:04I'm really shocked that I've got this far, because I'm quite clumsy, not particularly fit...
0:46:06 > 0:46:12James's clumsiness is probably a disguise, but really, it's all a tactic.
0:46:13 > 0:46:17I wouldn't be sitting here if I didn't want it, and I feel very confident.
0:46:17 > 0:46:21So them two guys have got a lot to look out for.
0:46:21 > 0:46:25Getting to the final stage means everything.
0:46:25 > 0:46:27I don't want to come second, I don't want to come third.
0:46:27 > 0:46:30First is all that matters.
0:46:30 > 0:46:34And the last thing I won was probably my wife's hand in marriage,
0:46:34 > 0:46:38and if I can get anywhere close to that tonight, then I will be very, very happy.
0:46:42 > 0:46:46So, now the competition really is heating up.
0:46:46 > 0:46:48Well, it's either that or I've picked up a virus.
0:46:48 > 0:46:52I am feeling my glands a bit. Do I look ill to you? Pale?
0:46:52 > 0:46:53Anyway, the competition.
0:46:53 > 0:46:59Either Muz, Chris or James are about to win £10,000 and the title of Total Wipeout Champion.
0:46:59 > 0:47:03But first, they must take on an obstacle course which has made grown men cry,
0:47:03 > 0:47:06though a lot of that is to do with the chlorine levels in the water.
0:47:06 > 0:47:08It's time for the Wipeout Zone.
0:47:13 > 0:47:18Tonight, James, Muz and Chris must face Killer Surf -
0:47:18 > 0:47:21yet to actually kill anyone.
0:47:21 > 0:47:24Rapid Climb - Slow Climb, more like.
0:47:24 > 0:47:27Balance Beam - or Fall Off Beam. Depends how it goes.
0:47:27 > 0:47:30Crazy Sweeper - yeah, that really is crazy, actually.
0:47:30 > 0:47:34Tarzan Swing - not officially endorsed by Tarzan.
0:47:34 > 0:47:38And the Final Buzzer, which buzzes when you finish. That's how it works.
0:47:38 > 0:47:45We've got all the ingredients for a dramatic final - fire, water, and three nervous contestants.
0:47:45 > 0:47:47And the first to go is James.
0:47:49 > 0:47:54So, will James, the crime scene investigator, solve the riddle of the Wipeout Zone?
0:47:54 > 0:47:55HORN
0:47:56 > 0:47:59Well, he's off down the bumpy Killer Surf.
0:48:04 > 0:48:05And a pretty bumpy landing.
0:48:05 > 0:48:07James was fastest in the Qualifier
0:48:07 > 0:48:11and one of the strongest competitors all day,
0:48:11 > 0:48:13and must now take on the Rapid Climb.
0:48:14 > 0:48:19He needs to get up there as fast as he can. The clock is ticking.
0:48:23 > 0:48:25He's on his feet.
0:48:25 > 0:48:27And that flashing blue light
0:48:27 > 0:48:31means James has ten seconds before the rapid is released.
0:48:31 > 0:48:35- Not looking very steady. Oh, no, he's slipped!- Hang on tight!
0:48:35 > 0:48:38Here it comes.
0:48:38 > 0:48:41James has literally been washed away.
0:48:41 > 0:48:45He had no chance against that wall of water and that will cost him time.
0:48:46 > 0:48:49But he's made it back onto Rapid Climb.
0:48:49 > 0:48:51He's now making better progress.
0:48:51 > 0:48:54James needs to put the pressure on Chris and Muz
0:48:54 > 0:48:56by posting as fast a time as he can.
0:48:58 > 0:49:00Well, he's made it to the top,
0:49:00 > 0:49:05but he's already looking shattered and there's plenty more yet to come.
0:49:05 > 0:49:07Balance Beam, for example.
0:49:07 > 0:49:13James is 6 foot 4, so balancing could be quite a challenge for him.
0:49:16 > 0:49:18Slow start.
0:49:18 > 0:49:20In fact, he's using his height to good effect.
0:49:20 > 0:49:23He's so tall, he can hold onto the wall
0:49:23 > 0:49:27as he makes it round with his feet. Unorthodox, but it works.
0:49:27 > 0:49:30He's done it! Well done, James.
0:49:30 > 0:49:33Onto the Crazy Sweeper. This is really difficult.
0:49:33 > 0:49:38James needs to pick his moment carefully,
0:49:38 > 0:49:40which is exactly what he's done
0:49:40 > 0:49:43and he's managed to avoid the Sweeper, just.
0:49:43 > 0:49:45Come on, James, get up.
0:49:45 > 0:49:48Get up! It's all in the timing, but you've got to keep moving.
0:49:48 > 0:49:50He makes a dash for it.
0:49:50 > 0:49:52He's doing very well.
0:49:54 > 0:49:57- Go, James! Go, go, go, man!- Yes!
0:49:57 > 0:49:58Yes!
0:49:58 > 0:50:01Oh, no! So nearly made it!
0:50:02 > 0:50:07Inches from making it across, but being caught by that sweeper is really going to dent his time.
0:50:07 > 0:50:09James has had to swim to the next obstacle,
0:50:09 > 0:50:11costing him more valuable seconds,
0:50:11 > 0:50:14and must now take on the Tarzan Swing.
0:50:16 > 0:50:19This really isn't a great time from Crime Scene James
0:50:19 > 0:50:23and he'll be pleased to know there's just one small jump left.
0:50:23 > 0:50:26Oh, I'm exhausted just watching him!
0:50:28 > 0:50:29Not fast, but he's done it.
0:50:29 > 0:50:35Mistakes throughout made James' one of the slowest times so far this series, but he's made it round
0:50:35 > 0:50:37and his time is now the one to beat.
0:50:37 > 0:50:39We don't know what the others will do.
0:50:39 > 0:50:41- It's pretty tough, isn't it? - It's full-on.
0:50:41 > 0:50:44That's full-on Wipeout.
0:50:44 > 0:50:46Your time was 5 minutes and 18 seconds.
0:50:46 > 0:50:49That's fine. I'm just happy to have completed it at all, so...
0:50:49 > 0:50:54Second to go, it's Mr Confident, Muz the Man.
0:50:54 > 0:50:57- Yeah!- They spend a lot of time working on that shout-out,
0:50:57 > 0:51:01practising and everything. Right, he's off!
0:51:02 > 0:51:06Oh, interesting-looking landing there!
0:51:06 > 0:51:08Remember, Muz doesn't know James' time
0:51:08 > 0:51:11so he's got to concentrate on getting around the course
0:51:11 > 0:51:12as quickly as he can.
0:51:12 > 0:51:16First, Muz must face the Rapid Climb.
0:51:16 > 0:51:18Were he to win today, at 47,
0:51:18 > 0:51:21Muz would be the oldest Total Wipeout champion ever.
0:51:25 > 0:51:28He's up on his feet, but now only has ten seconds
0:51:28 > 0:51:31before the wall of freezing water heads his way.
0:51:31 > 0:51:34Looks like he's just waiting for it. Come on, the clock is ticking!
0:51:34 > 0:51:37You're going to get hit by it! Oh, no!
0:51:39 > 0:51:42Oh, what's he doing?
0:51:42 > 0:51:45Some contestants have claimed that being hit by those rapids
0:51:45 > 0:51:48is like walking into a brick wall made of water.
0:51:48 > 0:51:51He's back up, but the time is ticking.
0:51:51 > 0:51:53He's taking it slowly,
0:51:53 > 0:51:57which he can't really afford to do if he wants to set a good time.
0:51:57 > 0:51:59But he has made it to the top.
0:51:59 > 0:52:01The balance beam now.
0:52:01 > 0:52:04Muz doesn't quite have the luxury of height as James did,
0:52:04 > 0:52:06so how will he get on?
0:52:06 > 0:52:08Well, he is on the beam.
0:52:08 > 0:52:10But he's moving slowly.
0:52:10 > 0:52:13His little feet won't reach the ground!
0:52:15 > 0:52:17Slowly...
0:52:17 > 0:52:20Oh! Looks like he didn't fancy it in the end.
0:52:20 > 0:52:24So much time in the water has got to be sapping his strength.
0:52:24 > 0:52:28Muz the Man looks like he just jumped straight off the balance beam.
0:52:28 > 0:52:29After a swim and a climb
0:52:29 > 0:52:32Muz must now test himself on the Crazy Sweeper.
0:52:32 > 0:52:35Right now he's even slower than James,
0:52:35 > 0:52:38whose time is suddenly not looking so bad.
0:52:38 > 0:52:41But there could be a twist yet to come. Here he goes.
0:52:41 > 0:52:43This is all about timing.
0:52:43 > 0:52:47Timing your run, or crawl in Muz's case.
0:52:47 > 0:52:50Is he shattered, or is this just his technique?
0:52:50 > 0:52:54It might be the safest, but it's by no means the quickest.
0:52:54 > 0:52:57This is hurting his time badly. He's barely halfway across.
0:52:59 > 0:53:02What is he doing?
0:53:02 > 0:53:04Muz needs to get a move on
0:53:04 > 0:53:06and I'm not sure about this technique.
0:53:06 > 0:53:09The longer he keeps it up, the more competitive James' time looks.
0:53:09 > 0:53:11He's nearly at the end.
0:53:11 > 0:53:14He's now got to get up and run across those podiums
0:53:14 > 0:53:16whilst avoiding the sweeper.
0:53:16 > 0:53:18There's no getting out of it, he's got to do it.
0:53:21 > 0:53:23Get up, Muz!
0:53:23 > 0:53:26Here he goes - yes, yes!
0:53:26 > 0:53:27Oh, oh, oh...
0:53:27 > 0:53:29Oh, no!
0:53:29 > 0:53:31Oh!
0:53:31 > 0:53:35He so nearly made it across, but the Crazy Sweeper hunted him down and knocked him in.
0:53:35 > 0:53:38It's fair to say Muz is making a meal of this
0:53:38 > 0:53:41and putting James right back in contention.
0:53:41 > 0:53:44An exhausted Muz now climbs up to the Tarzan Swing.
0:53:44 > 0:53:45He's outside James' time.
0:53:45 > 0:53:48Will he have the strength to make the swing
0:53:48 > 0:53:50and finish in style at least?
0:53:51 > 0:53:54I'm afraid to say it's not looking likely right now.
0:53:58 > 0:53:59Here he goes...
0:54:01 > 0:54:02Well, no!
0:54:02 > 0:54:06It was a small swing, but the style thing never happened.
0:54:06 > 0:54:09And a spot of good old-fashioned rope burn for his troubles as well.
0:54:09 > 0:54:11One more jump to go.
0:54:14 > 0:54:16Muz has made it! It was tough.
0:54:16 > 0:54:19He'll be disappointed with the time, but he made it!
0:54:22 > 0:54:28Muz really didn't seem to have much luck in the Wipeout Zone today, but he certainly did have a lot of guts.
0:54:28 > 0:54:30That was a determined round.
0:54:31 > 0:54:35What was with the crawling across this obstacle?
0:54:35 > 0:54:38I got a lump on my leg and I just couldn't lift my leg up to stand.
0:54:38 > 0:54:43Muz, I'm afraid you just weren't fast enough tonight. Hard luck.
0:54:43 > 0:54:47James, it's now between you and Chris, OK? Let's watch.
0:54:49 > 0:54:52So, Chocolate-Coated Chris is the final competitor.
0:54:54 > 0:54:56Come on!
0:54:56 > 0:54:58Off he goes.
0:55:04 > 0:55:06Chris, like James, has been at the front of the pack all day.
0:55:06 > 0:55:10And with Muz showing how tricky the Wipeout Zone is,
0:55:10 > 0:55:11this should be a tight contest.
0:55:11 > 0:55:14Chris needs to beat 5 minutes 18
0:55:14 > 0:55:16to be crowned champion,
0:55:16 > 0:55:19but he has no idea of James' time, remember.
0:55:19 > 0:55:22The Rapid Climb is first.
0:55:22 > 0:55:25He's on his feet. Chris now has ten seconds to get up there,
0:55:25 > 0:55:27otherwise he could be in trouble.
0:55:28 > 0:55:32Come on, Chris! This is desperate now.
0:55:32 > 0:55:33Oh, no!
0:55:37 > 0:55:38Three out of three.
0:55:38 > 0:55:40Yeah, that's not helping Chris' time.
0:55:40 > 0:55:42Could James be in with a shout?
0:55:42 > 0:55:45Second attempt now for Chris.
0:55:45 > 0:55:47Making much better progress.
0:55:47 > 0:55:49He's made it to the top.
0:55:49 > 0:55:51It's neck-and-neck between Chris and James.
0:55:55 > 0:55:58Onto the Balance Beam. Which tactic will Chris adopt?
0:55:58 > 0:56:02He, too, has opted for the hanging-on-to-the-wall technique.
0:56:02 > 0:56:04It's not pretty, but it is effective,
0:56:04 > 0:56:08and it's keeping him within reach of James' time.
0:56:08 > 0:56:10And he's made it across.
0:56:10 > 0:56:13Well done, Chris. Still in with a shot here.
0:56:13 > 0:56:16Onto the Crazy Sweeper. James failed here. Can Chris beat it?
0:56:16 > 0:56:20This obstacle can wreck good times.
0:56:23 > 0:56:27That was very close. Good judgment. Oh, but not that time!
0:56:28 > 0:56:34Having avoided the Sweeper once, Chris thought he could do it again, but misjudged it.
0:56:34 > 0:56:38It's a long, strength-sapping swim all the way to the Tarzan Swing,
0:56:38 > 0:56:41and Chris has got to be getting tired now.
0:56:41 > 0:56:43These guys have been pushing themselves
0:56:43 > 0:56:45to the limit all day, remember.
0:56:45 > 0:56:47James took so long on the Crazy Sweeper
0:56:47 > 0:56:50that Chris is still within his time, even after that long swim.
0:56:50 > 0:56:52So if Chris lands the Tarzan Swing,
0:56:52 > 0:56:55he will be tonight's Total Wipeout champion.
0:56:55 > 0:56:59He looks a bit tentative.
0:56:59 > 0:57:02This is it. This is everything.
0:57:02 > 0:57:06And here he goes... Yes, yes...
0:57:06 > 0:57:09No, he's missed his landing!
0:57:09 > 0:57:15He can just about afford that mistake and still beat James' time, as long as he makes this last jump.
0:57:19 > 0:57:21Chris steadies himself. He jumps...
0:57:21 > 0:57:23he's missed it!
0:57:24 > 0:57:28He's got it now, and finishes in a time of 3 minutes 55 seconds,
0:57:28 > 0:57:31which makes Chris tonight's Total Wipeout champion.
0:57:31 > 0:57:36Despite a catalogue of errors from Chris, his was still a stronger performance than James'.
0:57:36 > 0:57:41Some quick recoveries have ultimately won Chris tonight's competition, but he has no idea yet.
0:57:41 > 0:57:44It's up to Amanda to break the news.
0:57:44 > 0:57:47You played a bit of tag with the Sweeper thing.
0:57:47 > 0:57:48You kept touching it.
0:57:48 > 0:57:52I thought I was able to pass it, so it gave me more time to get round, but...
0:57:52 > 0:57:54I'll tell you what, James was brilliant,
0:57:54 > 0:57:58but you didn't need any more chocolate bars, because you were faster.
0:57:58 > 0:58:00You are the Total Wipeout champion!
0:58:00 > 0:58:03Well done!
0:58:05 > 0:58:10Congratulations to a speechless Chris, the chocolate factory supply manager from Birmingham.
0:58:10 > 0:58:14In true Wonka style, he wins the keys to the Total Wipeout factory
0:58:14 > 0:58:18and a magical trip in a glass elevator. I'm joking, of course.
0:58:18 > 0:58:21He wins ten grand and a trip in a normal, non-magical elevator.
0:58:21 > 0:58:23Join me next time for shed-loads of this...
0:58:26 > 0:58:28..a gazebo-ful of this...
0:58:30 > 0:58:32..and a garage-load of this.
0:58:34 > 0:58:36From Amanda and me, goodbye.
0:58:57 > 0:59:00Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:59:00 > 0:59:03E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk