0:00:02 > 0:00:04Buenos Aires, Argentina.
0:00:04 > 0:00:05Ooh, they've got horses!
0:00:07 > 0:00:12A gaggle of fearless Brits, including a truck driver, a food technologist and a puppeteer,
0:00:12 > 0:00:17have come to defeat the greatest obstacle course this district of Buenos Aires has ever seen.
0:00:19 > 0:00:23They'll all succeed, but only if they were planning on losing spectacularly.
0:00:23 > 0:00:28One will be crowned Total Wipeout champion and walk away with £10,000.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Let the games begin.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Welcome to Total Wipeout.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39Tonight, I'll be answering the big questions of our age -
0:00:39 > 0:00:43such as, when is that guy going to fall off that thing?
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Do you think that hurt?
0:00:45 > 0:00:48And when is that girl going to fall off that other thing?
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Heavy stuff.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54Today's bandage-free competitors will try to defeat the Total Wipeout course.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57If they're lucky, they'll remain bandage-free,
0:00:57 > 0:01:00and if they're even more lucky, win the Total Wipeout Trophy.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Let's see what they'll be falling off today.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06The Qualifier. No pain, no gain.
0:01:06 > 0:01:10Crash Mountain. Some pain, some gain.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14Dizzy Dummies. Much pain, a little gain.
0:01:14 > 0:01:19And the grand finale, the Wipeout Zone. Just...pain.
0:01:19 > 0:01:23We've got our contestants, we've got our course.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27I've got a cup of tea and I've got a custard cream.
0:01:27 > 0:01:28So nobody is getting fired today.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30At ease, everyone.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Let's go live to Amanda Byram who is at the top of the course in Argentina.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42I'm joined at the top of the Qualifier by Pip from Wiltshire.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Pip, how determined are you to win today?
0:01:44 > 0:01:46I'm very determined.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49Just because you're blonde and pretty, you don't have to be a bimbo.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52You can have a brain and you can win Wipeout.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53- Yes!- Yes.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56- Yes. - This is Total Wipeout, and I'm Pip.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Come on, let's rip!
0:02:01 > 0:02:04Oh... Oh, dear. She didn't wait for the klaxon.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08- OFFICIAL:- You have to wait for the klaxon.- It's not started yet.
0:02:08 > 0:02:09Pip there, doing a great job,
0:02:09 > 0:02:13proving that not all blondes are bimbos. Just some.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Let's wait for the klaxon this time.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16- KLAXON - There you go.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Off she goes...
0:02:19 > 0:02:23Now, which new obstacle awaits this 24-year-old accounts assistant
0:02:23 > 0:02:25from Wiltshire?
0:02:26 > 0:02:31One narrow beam, six heavy swinging bags... It's the Heavy Bag Beam.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37Lucky Pip is the first to test it out. Come on Pip, let's rip.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40This can only go well. Come on.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Ohhh!
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Poor Pip has taken an early dip.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52This one might be dangerous.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55She'll need to climb up the stairs to the second set of bags.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Can she? Oh - no. No, she can't.
0:03:00 > 0:03:04From something new to something old. It's the Sucker Punch.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08Now, Pip has a dog called Chuck Norris, so will this
0:03:08 > 0:03:11make her tough enough to beat the leanest, hardest
0:03:11 > 0:03:13pneumatic punching wall on the planet?
0:03:14 > 0:03:16No. No, it won't.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Oh, dear. Down on the first punch.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26Yep, you've guessed it - it's Big Ball time.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28If Pip is feeling tired by this point,
0:03:28 > 0:03:31she'll probably be helped by a little motivation.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35That's right. If Pip dithers for too long at the top of the Big Balls,
0:03:35 > 0:03:38she'll be subtly prompted by this.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42The Motivator.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Come on, Pip, stay focused.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Come on, the one thing you don't want to do is lose.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Every ounce of composure.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Like that.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57That was the best panic I've ever seen!
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Perfect example of a total sensory meltdown.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09It's very effective, it does chivvy them.
0:04:10 > 0:04:15The clock still ticking as Pip makes her way to today's final obstacle.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18It's the elegant and graceful...
0:04:18 > 0:04:19Monkey Swing.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Pip just needs to cross these six red swings
0:04:26 > 0:04:28to the finish podium, where the clock will stop.
0:04:31 > 0:04:32I want my mummy.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35I want another custard cream, but you can't have everything.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Come on, Pip. Here we go.
0:04:37 > 0:04:38Ooh...
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Oh, she's slipped.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Oh, no...
0:04:45 > 0:04:48So, Pip falls at the last hurdle, meaning she has
0:04:48 > 0:04:51to swim to the finish podium, and she's opted for backstroke.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Not often you get that one.
0:04:53 > 0:04:57So it's a quick climb, and Pip sets the time to beat.
0:04:57 > 0:05:013:41. Not a great time, but on a brighter note,
0:05:01 > 0:05:05two seconds faster than the world record for running a mile(!)
0:05:05 > 0:05:07A little bit put off by the Motivator.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10I heard it go and I was, "Oh, my God, I have to go!" And just went.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13How do you feel? How do you think it was?
0:05:13 > 0:05:16I tell you what, people watching at home have absolutely no idea.
0:05:16 > 0:05:21Neither has this man. This is Johnny. Don't worry, he's not hyperventilating, he's dancing.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25Move the hips... Nobody puts Byram in the corner.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Move the hips, girlie. Now, we need to add a lift.
0:05:27 > 0:05:33This isn't for the people at home, because you might fall over and hurt yourself.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39I'm going to Bhangra-dance my way around this course!
0:05:39 > 0:05:43Bhangra-dancing Johnny is a 28-year-old solicitor from London.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47Apparently his children didn't know he was going to be on the show,
0:05:47 > 0:05:50so, kids - surprise!
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Oh - that WAS a surprise.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Time for the Sucker Punch. Bhangra Johnny can make up some time here.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01He seems to have taken a bit of a tumble.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04That's not technically an obstacle there...
0:06:06 > 0:06:09..that's just the way you GET to the obstacle.
0:06:09 > 0:06:14This is 18-year-old Rhea, an arts student from Huddersfield.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18Aren't art students a little bit dainty and painty?
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Do you think you're tough enough?
0:06:20 > 0:06:24No. Art students are up for anything.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26I'm going to visualise everything.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Especially on the big red balls.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32I don't want to get muddy either.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37Oh, she's got muddy. I'll call her Muddy Rhea.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Probably doesn't want to get wet either.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Yeah, she's got wet.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48On the bright side, at least she's not muddy any more.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50'Whoopsadaisy!'
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Just the Monkey Swings to go.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56Muddy Rhea taking her first tentative steps...
0:06:56 > 0:06:59And her first tentative slip.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03And her first tentative belly flop.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05That wasn't ideal.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07In fact, you could say that was "dire, Rhea".
0:07:07 > 0:07:11I said "diarrhoea" on the telly!
0:07:11 > 0:07:12'Whoopsadaisy!'
0:07:12 > 0:07:17Despite that, she's the quickest so far with a surprisingly fast 2:28.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Woooo!
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Prepare for that time to be smashed.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25This is Dave.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27He may not look like an athlete,
0:07:27 > 0:07:29but don't be deceived -
0:07:29 > 0:07:35Dave is a fighting machine, a master of combat, a world champion.
0:07:35 > 0:07:41I was world champion in fleaweight robotic combat, which is tiny little fighting robots.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44Wow...
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Initiate assault course mode, and activate!
0:07:51 > 0:07:55So, can this remote-controlled robot fanatic show us what he's made of?
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Come on, Remote-Controlled Dave.
0:07:57 > 0:08:02I've got a good feeling about this one actually.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05If he can just get on to that pontoon...
0:08:05 > 0:08:07You haven't started really yet, Dave.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10The clock has, but you've gone nowhere.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15Just get up there, onto the pontoon, and get going.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19I'll come back to Remote-Controlled Dave later.
0:08:19 > 0:08:24I'm joined now by the lovely Wu from Surrey, a software developer.
0:08:24 > 0:08:25Are you excited to be here, Wu?
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Yeah, very excited. Wu-wu-wu!
0:08:28 > 0:08:31- Wu-hoo!- Wu!
0:08:31 > 0:08:34- Wu-hoo!- Wu-hoo!
0:08:43 > 0:08:48Woo Hoo Wu thinks the key to the course is balance and luck.
0:08:48 > 0:08:49So let's see how he does.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53There's that balance...
0:08:55 > 0:08:57And now for the luck.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Oh! That was unlucky.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03Yeah, it was.
0:09:03 > 0:09:09Good demonstration of balance, just got hit by a massive, heavy bag.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12Let's see if Woo Hoo Wu's luck improves on the Sucker Punch.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15This could be his obstacle. Come on...
0:09:15 > 0:09:17MUSIC: "Woo Hoo" by The 5.6.7.8's
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Looking good so far.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Oh. That is bad luck.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Definitely had the balance. He just got hit by a massive, heavy fist.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27Wu-hoo!
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Yeah, it's the luck thing.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Now, if anyone has the credentials
0:09:32 > 0:09:35to beat a wall full of ill-tempered boxing gloves,
0:09:35 > 0:09:38it's 43-year-old prison fitness officer Jules.
0:09:40 > 0:09:41Oh...
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Oh! She's holding on.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Oh... No. That's gone wrong.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Valiant effort.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Nearly made it across. Fell off.
0:09:54 > 0:09:55The Big Balls now. Jules would like to visit
0:09:55 > 0:10:00all seven wonders of the world, so Jules, here's four of them.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06Technically speaking, she's only actually visited two of them there.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Back to Remote-Controlled Dave. They've had to send Eduardo in.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Perhaps Amanda will help with a few encouraging words for him.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18No, of course she won't. Why would she do that?
0:10:22 > 0:10:26I'm joined now at the top of the Qualifier by Alfie from the Wirral.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28So, Alfie, what is it that you do for a living?
0:10:28 > 0:10:30I'm in a Take That tribute band.
0:10:30 > 0:10:34- Really? Who are you? - I am the mighty Robbie Williams.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36Really?
0:10:38 > 0:10:40So, Alfie is getting into the zone.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42He's focusing, relaxing his mind...
0:10:42 > 0:10:45- CREAKING - That's a bit too relaxed.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Let me entertain you!
0:10:47 > 0:10:49I think you already have, Alfie.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54So, a rock'n'roll start from the Robbie Williams impersonator.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57A little bit too excited...
0:10:57 > 0:11:00And the shock news is he's currently beating Remote-Controlled Dave -
0:11:00 > 0:11:02I know, I can't believe it either.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Sprints across the pontoons.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07And...sort of canters around the corner.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Time to shine.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Ooh!
0:11:13 > 0:11:16That was really very entertaining. Thank you.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Not really seeing the Robbie Williams thing myself
0:11:19 > 0:11:22but let's see how Alfie gets on with the Sucker Punch.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Actually, when his face is squashed like that,
0:11:27 > 0:11:31there's something about him maybe Robbie Williams-ish.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Big Ball time. Will Alfie entertain us?
0:11:35 > 0:11:38I've got a feeling the answer might be yes.
0:11:38 > 0:11:39Woooargh!
0:11:39 > 0:11:40Whatever. Come on.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42- Come on, Alfie.- Yes...
0:11:42 > 0:11:43Come on, Alfie...
0:11:45 > 0:11:48Ooh, yes. That was spectacular.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50It started off well,
0:11:50 > 0:11:53but a rather quick downward spiral.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57Less like Robbie Williams, more like...Chesney Hawkes.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02Come on, Alfie, that's the way. Deep breaths. That's it.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Deep breaths.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Let's take this opportunity
0:12:06 > 0:12:11to remind ourselves of Alfie's uncanny resemblance to Robbie.
0:12:11 > 0:12:12Not really getting it myself.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Maybe he just sounds a lot like him.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19# We've said goodbye, the taxicab is waiting
0:12:19 > 0:12:23# Now don't you cry, just one more kiss and... #
0:12:23 > 0:12:27Let's move on. Alfie is at the final obstacle, the Monkey Swing.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31It looks easy, but it's not. Come on, Alfie, don't give...
0:12:31 > 0:12:32He gave up.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37Despite that spectacular display of spinelessness, Alfie makes it
0:12:37 > 0:12:40through the course in the middling-to-average time of 2:59.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44But will that be enough to see him into the next round?
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Six have gone but only the 12 fastest will qualify.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53Let's take a first look at the leaderboard.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56Muddy Rhea is currently at the top with Woo Hoo Wu
0:12:56 > 0:12:58and Take That Alfie in second and third.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04Bhangra Johnny and Jailhouse Jules, fourth and fifth.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06False Start Pip is last.
0:13:07 > 0:13:11So, I'm joined at the top of the Qualifier by Catherine,
0:13:11 > 0:13:18a puppeteer from Surrey, and SHE'S joined by Mab, a 317-year-old witch.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22Oh, brilliant, a ventriloquist on Total Wipeout. I love ventriloquists.
0:13:22 > 0:13:27Keith Harris and Orville, Rod Hull and Emu, Ant and Dec... No, hang on.
0:13:27 > 0:13:32I've just been told, they weren't all ventriloquists. Emu never spoke.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35- Amanda...- Yes?
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Are you naughty or are you nice?
0:13:39 > 0:13:40Depends on who you're asking.
0:13:40 > 0:13:46If you're naughty, I'll put you in a cage and if you're nice, in a pie!
0:13:46 > 0:13:49She's rubbish, I saw her mouth move. I did.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53My name is Catherine V Rock, and the V stands for victory!
0:13:53 > 0:13:56It doesn't, it stands for Victoria according to my notes here.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59Yeah, definitely Victoria.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Heavy Bag Beam now.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05# It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight... #
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Ooh!
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Definitely saw her mouth move again.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14Right, Sucker Punch now.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18What's going to happen here, Little Richard Hammond?
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- WITH CLENCHED TEETH:- "I think she'll get punched in her eyes...
0:14:21 > 0:14:24"Yes. Definitely."
0:14:26 > 0:14:27'That's the way to do it!'
0:14:29 > 0:14:33Back to Remote-Controlled Dave, and he's finally at the Sucker Punch.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37- Ooh, he's egging it on.- He is. Yeah.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41He's taking a bit of a beating here.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43But he's sticking to that wall.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45He's so tough.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48Is there nothing that can defeat this remote-controlled legend?
0:14:50 > 0:14:52He is, I think, invincible.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55Oh... Yeah. Ah.
0:14:57 > 0:15:01Takes a real pasting, a good one to the face and is in the mud.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Oh, dear.
0:15:04 > 0:15:09Uh-oh, another tiny rope to go up and another pontoon to climb onto.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11He could be in big trouble here.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14Come on, Dave. Memories of your last battle
0:15:14 > 0:15:15resonating around his muddy head.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17- I can't get up.- Yes, you can.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Yes, you can. (Actually I don't think he can.)
0:15:20 > 0:15:24- You can do it... - I'm not sure he can.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Come on, Remote-Controlled Dave.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Do it for all the techies, for robot fans everywhere...
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Don't give up.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Oh, he's given up.
0:15:33 > 0:15:34He has.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36METALLIC CLUNKING
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Wow! Come on.
0:15:40 > 0:15:41- This is...- Well done!
0:15:41 > 0:15:46- We these moving moments on Total Wipeout. I'm choked.- Come on, Dave!
0:15:46 > 0:15:49With Remote-Controlled Dave back on full power,
0:15:49 > 0:15:50surely he can beat the Big Balls.
0:15:51 > 0:15:52Yes!
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Um... Whoa...
0:15:57 > 0:16:00No! No, not even remotely.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02And I think...his head's come off.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05His head has come off.
0:16:05 > 0:16:06That's going to be...
0:16:06 > 0:16:08Somebody look...!
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Oh, no, there it is. That's a relief,
0:16:12 > 0:16:14there would have been a lot of forms.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16You have to admire his stamina.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20He's not given up, when many men would have.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Just the Monkey Swing to go.
0:16:22 > 0:16:23Come on, Dave, you can do it.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26On the first one. I want him to complete this...
0:16:26 > 0:16:30Come on! This is...
0:16:30 > 0:16:34Come on, you're building the tension.
0:16:34 > 0:16:35No...
0:16:36 > 0:16:39I mean - there are no points at all for determination,
0:16:39 > 0:16:42but if there were, he'd have some.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47Remote-Controlled Dave finishes with a time of 6:28.
0:16:47 > 0:16:48Dave, I salute you.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51And now, in order to reduce your carbon footprint,
0:16:51 > 0:16:53it's time for you to power down.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55- CLUNKING AND BEEPING - There you go.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58This is Derrick.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01- He runs a fleet of trucks. - I'm the daddy!
0:17:01 > 0:17:05And this is his lovely, sweet daughter, Chyna-Rose.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09So, Chyna-Rose, what is it that you do for a living?
0:17:09 > 0:17:11I'm a truck driver.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15Are you going to give Daddy the respect he deserves out there and let him win?
0:17:15 > 0:17:17- Yes.- Shall I show you respect?
0:17:18 > 0:17:19ELEPHANT TRUMPETS
0:17:19 > 0:17:21That's as much respect as he's going to get.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Wow! Truckers. I love truckers.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26I love trucks. Finally...
0:17:26 > 0:17:28- ECHOING VOICE ON RADIO: - ..I can use this.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Ooh. It works.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Brilliant! Over.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36I'm the daddy! The number one daddy!
0:17:36 > 0:17:39So, it's a father/daughter trucker face-off...
0:17:39 > 0:17:43Truckers and lovers - Total Wipeout!
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Sorry, I forgot to say "over" then.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51MUSIC: "Convoy" by CW McCall
0:17:53 > 0:17:55OK, these two might have HGV licences -
0:17:55 > 0:18:00clearly they spend more time in the cab than actually walking about.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02..Over.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19Oh - Long Distance Chyna has jackknifed on a heavy bag.
0:18:20 > 0:18:24Clear advantage now to Who's The Derrick. Over.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31- Who's the daddy, Derrick? - I'm the daddy!
0:18:32 > 0:18:35Chyna-Rose needs to put the hammer down and make up some time.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Yeah, she just got hammered. Over.
0:18:41 > 0:18:42Right, Big Ball time.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Derrick's just gone under. Over.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59They're both neck and neck. This is going to be close. Over.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12Looks like Long Distance Chyna's got snarled up on the Monkey Swing.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23It's actually quite hard doing this voice. Over.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25Has anyone got a throat lozenge?
0:19:30 > 0:19:34Long Distance Chyna crawls to the top with a time of 3:55.
0:19:36 > 0:19:42But Who's The Derrick smashes home with a time of 2:44.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44That's a big ten-four.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51Here's Danny. He works as cabin crew for a low-cost airline.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Not sure he needed his work uniform.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Air stewards are well trained at keeping their balance
0:19:56 > 0:20:00in situations of extreme turbulence and this is looking good, very good.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Nice one, Danny.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Now to face 22 angry passengers.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10Will Danny's extensive training in conflict resolution be able to...
0:20:10 > 0:20:12No, it hasn't helped at all.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17Just flicked him off the wall and into the mud. Now, Danny may be used
0:20:17 > 0:20:21to making hot drinks and selling overpriced perfume -
0:20:21 > 0:20:23let's find out if he can actually fly.
0:20:23 > 0:20:24Come on! Come on!
0:20:26 > 0:20:29Ooh... That's not good.
0:20:29 > 0:20:30No.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36An amazing aerobatic display there.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Unfortunately, Danny injured his shoulder on the balls.
0:20:39 > 0:20:45He didn't complete the Qualifier - but with that extraordinary leap, he did achieve something else.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48It's time for this week's extraordinary positions.
0:20:48 > 0:20:53In at four, it's the high knees and short shorts of Who's The Derrick.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54At three, it's Take That Alfie.
0:20:56 > 0:21:01Not moving at two, it's Remote- Controlled Dave in shutdown mode.
0:21:01 > 0:21:05And flying in at number one, it's Did Not Finish Danny.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09Now, on to the next competitor, 19 year-old Sam from Gateshead,
0:21:09 > 0:21:12a skilled figure skater and a sprinter.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Oh! She shattered - must have done.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Sam displaying a total disregard for her own personal safety,
0:21:20 > 0:21:23which makes her the perfect Total Wipeout competitor.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25I shall call her Kamikaze Sam.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32Now, when it comes to sheer foolhardy recklessness,
0:21:32 > 0:21:34there is no arena greater than the Big Balls.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38We've seen what this girl is prepared to go through,
0:21:38 > 0:21:41this is going to be good...for us.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42Oh...
0:21:43 > 0:21:47So far today, Kamikaze Sam has fallen off absolutely everything,
0:21:47 > 0:21:51so she's bound to fall off here on the Monkey Swing,
0:21:51 > 0:21:53because it looks to be impossible.
0:21:54 > 0:21:55There you go!
0:21:57 > 0:21:59Will anybody EVER do this?
0:22:00 > 0:22:04Done with spectacular grace and elegance as well, though.
0:22:04 > 0:22:09Critically, Sam managed to fall off everything quicker than anybody else
0:22:09 > 0:22:11which should see her into the next round,
0:22:11 > 0:22:15where there'll be plenty more ways she'll be able to hurt herself.
0:22:15 > 0:22:16Rarrrrr!
0:22:16 > 0:22:2235-year-old Paul from Swansea is a Chartered Engineer by day, but a smooth-talking DJ by night.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26- Give me a bit of your DJ voice. - DEEP VOICE: Hello, Amanda.
0:22:26 > 0:22:27Very smooth. Oh yeah.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Oooh, yeah!
0:22:30 > 0:22:32- I'm getting excited!- Mmm, so am I!
0:22:32 > 0:22:33Er, me too.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Smooth-looking Paul has so far made it to the Monkey Swing.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44Will he make it? Nobody has, this thing is impossible.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Good start, I think. Is that... No.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Not so smooth there. Who's next?
0:22:54 > 0:22:56I'm a quick, slick, Scottish flower.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59I'm going to take this course with some Highland power!
0:22:59 > 0:23:02This is more like it!
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Angela is from Alloa, and is familiar with the Monkey Swing
0:23:04 > 0:23:09as it has been a staple part of the Highland Games since 1873...
0:23:09 > 0:23:12According to my notes.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Someone's going to have rope burn!
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Come on!
0:23:17 > 0:23:20Come on, Angela! Actually, this is looking good.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26Keep going. Some proper Scottish grit and determination here.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Yes! Oh...
0:23:29 > 0:23:32Right, that's the first time anybody's made it this far today.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36- Already, she's in record- breaking territory.- Yes!
0:23:36 > 0:23:39Come on, focus.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42You CAN do this.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45- Oh...- Come on, Angela, it's all about speed.
0:23:47 > 0:23:48Come on! Oh...
0:23:50 > 0:23:55She's on number six. This is it - this is extraordinary.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57The very first person to do this.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01We're all sharing a truly wonderful moment.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04These Monkey Swings may take our dignity,
0:24:04 > 0:24:06but they will never take our freedom!
0:24:07 > 0:24:08SHE SCREAMS
0:24:08 > 0:24:11Oh. I regret saying that now.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Oh, let's go to the leaderboard. Sorry!
0:24:16 > 0:24:20Kamikaze Sam is top, followed very closely by Muddy Rhea in second
0:24:20 > 0:24:22and Who's The Derrick in third.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Catherine the Ventriloquist in fourth.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Bhangra Johnny down to eighth, Angela from Alloa
0:24:27 > 0:24:32is teetering on the brink in twelfth place. Just five competitors to go.
0:24:33 > 0:24:34This is 28-year-old Marc,
0:24:34 > 0:24:38armed only with some Bermuda shorts and tinted goggles.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Ooh - I'm not sure if he saw that one coming.
0:24:45 > 0:24:49- OFFICIAL:- Get back to the steps. Back to the steps.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51I'm beginning to wonder if he can see ANYTHING.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54Right, onto the second Heavy Bag Beam there.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57He's made it onto the beam. Yes, he's there. Here we go.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00This way! This way, this way...
0:25:02 > 0:25:05- Oh!- Took a colossal hit there.
0:25:05 > 0:25:09I'm thinking maybe he should lose the tinted goggles.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14He's not going to stop and do any welding en route, he needs them not.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17Yes is, he's losing them! Oh. No, he's sticking with them!
0:25:17 > 0:25:21Doing really well. Over there and... yeah, Sucker Punch.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Sucker Punch next, follow the noise.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25I hope Marc can find his way there.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28He'll hear them. He's just sort of running about.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30How's he going to dodge them?!
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Wow! Oh.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Oh dear. Just sort of walked off that.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Yeah.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Marc just using touch and smell now to find his way to the Big Balls.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50Actually, not seeing these might help.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Scratch that - it didn't help. Didn't help.
0:25:57 > 0:26:01- OFFICIAL:- Marc, turn round. The Monkey Swing is behind you.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Yeah, wonder if he'll take the tinted goggles off now.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Come on, he's got to take them off now, surely!
0:26:07 > 0:26:10I really don't think he can see through his goggles.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12No, I don't! He can't!
0:26:12 > 0:26:15- Can't see!- Well, no... - Take your goggles off.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22It's your goggles, Marc! Take off the goggles. Come on. Come on.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25I'll come back to Marc.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28Two, three, four, five, six...
0:26:28 > 0:26:33That is impressive. I had no idea Amanda could count that high.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36Time to see three fit ladies in action.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40Meet Jax, a 45-year-old personal trainer from Chippenham.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43Then there's Gemma, a 24-year-old yoga enthusiast.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45That's not yoga she's doing.
0:26:45 > 0:26:50And Laura, a 39-year-old sales manager who claims she's as fit as a butcher's dog.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53- I think I'm as fit as a butcher's dog!- See?
0:26:53 > 0:26:56Time to find out who's fittest as Gemma takes on the Bag Beam.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Oh, not bad. She almost touched the step.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Laura now.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05Oh! She really did touch the step.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Let's see if Jax can do any better.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Little dodge, this is looking good...
0:27:10 > 0:27:12Maybe not.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14The Sucker Punch now.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18And Jax takes an early bath.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20Laura hanging on.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22No. Muddy bath for her as well.
0:27:22 > 0:27:23Gemma now.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26They're all in the bath! Where's the soap?
0:27:26 > 0:27:29Still neck and neck as Laura approaches the Big Balls.
0:27:29 > 0:27:33She avoids the Motivator, but not the water.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Gemma now, approaching at speed.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38But with the same result.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41Can Jax deliver something different?
0:27:45 > 0:27:46Ooh, yes she can.
0:27:50 > 0:27:54Hello, could this be another golden moment?
0:27:57 > 0:27:59No. No.
0:27:59 > 0:28:00I really thought, just... OK.
0:28:00 > 0:28:0471, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76...
0:28:04 > 0:28:07Amanda there - now on really big numbers.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10Gemma on the Monkey Swing now.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13And she's made it to the third...and straight off.
0:28:14 > 0:28:15Come on, Laura.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17Oh! Nice hands-free approach.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19It was never going to work, was it?
0:28:19 > 0:28:21Jax in a tangle...
0:28:22 > 0:28:25And she's off too. So finally, 4:38 proves
0:28:25 > 0:28:29that butchers' dogs probably aren't as fit as Laura thinks they are.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32A time of 3:37 after 100 press-ups
0:28:32 > 0:28:35proves that Press-Up Jax is the fittest -
0:28:35 > 0:28:37although Yoga Gemma is quicker in 3:08.
0:28:38 > 0:28:41Oh, it's Marc again. He's found the Monkey Swing.
0:28:41 > 0:28:46I'll have to do the looking, because he can't see through those goggles.
0:28:46 > 0:28:50There you go Marc, it's in front of you now. There.
0:28:51 > 0:28:52Come on, Marc!
0:28:55 > 0:28:56Well, this is incredible.
0:28:56 > 0:28:59Make it to the next one.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01Oh... He's taken the goggles off!
0:29:02 > 0:29:04Oh, he's got no eyes! Oh, I s...
0:29:04 > 0:29:07Oh, yes, they were just shut.
0:29:07 > 0:29:10So, Marc takes one last look at the Qualifier before putting
0:29:10 > 0:29:14the Goggles of Darkness back on and blindly swimming to the finish.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16So close!
0:29:16 > 0:29:20- OFFICIAL:- Marc, watch out, there's a pole. Right in front of you.
0:29:20 > 0:29:22- Which way?- Go to the left, Marc.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24The finish line is to the left.
0:29:24 > 0:29:27Remember he's in the southern hemisphere -
0:29:27 > 0:29:30maybe left and right are the other way round.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34And so an epic reaches its climax,
0:29:34 > 0:29:37as Tinted Marc completes the Qualifier in 5:18.
0:29:37 > 0:29:39- About as long as Ben-Hur.- Over here!
0:29:40 > 0:29:46This is Noel - a champion pentathlete, a charity fundraiser, and a hip-hop dancer.
0:29:46 > 0:29:48Is there nothing wrong with this guy?
0:29:48 > 0:29:51Oh wait, hang on. Yeah, he's an investment banker.
0:29:51 > 0:29:55If I don't exercise for two or three days, I feel like a bit of a fatty...
0:29:55 > 0:29:57Growing up on a farm, bit of a country boy...
0:29:57 > 0:30:00I then was talent-spotted, if you like, at university...
0:30:00 > 0:30:03Shooting, fencing and horse riding...
0:30:03 > 0:30:06..shortened volatility and hoping to ride this storm out...
0:30:06 > 0:30:07HE BEATBOXES
0:30:08 > 0:30:12I'm faster than Jensen Button, and I've got the luck of the Irish!
0:30:12 > 0:30:15Oh, whatever. Anyway, Near Perfect Noel
0:30:15 > 0:30:18is today's final challenger on the Sucker Punch.
0:30:21 > 0:30:22Ooh, he's doing well,
0:30:22 > 0:30:26looks like all his athletic attributes are useful here...
0:30:27 > 0:30:30And he's across! Will Noel be able to add Big Ball Crosser
0:30:30 > 0:30:34to his already irritatingly impressive CV?
0:30:34 > 0:30:37No. Never mind!
0:30:37 > 0:30:38SHE LAUGHS
0:30:38 > 0:30:42Probably isn't any room left on his CV anyway.
0:30:43 > 0:30:46Nobody has crossed the Monkey Swing all day,
0:30:46 > 0:30:49so Near-Perfect Noel is today's last hope.
0:30:51 > 0:30:52Confident start.
0:30:52 > 0:30:54Ooh - slipped, but he's hanging on.
0:30:57 > 0:30:59Somehow he's moving on.
0:30:59 > 0:31:02An original strategy here.
0:31:02 > 0:31:04Sliding along from swing to swing.
0:31:07 > 0:31:09Nearly there now, nearly there.
0:31:09 > 0:31:11Oh, is that a last-minute slip?
0:31:12 > 0:31:13Yes! Noel defeats the Monkey Swing
0:31:13 > 0:31:19and finishes in a superb time of 2:16. That was nearly perfect.
0:31:19 > 0:31:23So the final leaderboard sees Near-Perfect Noel in first,
0:31:23 > 0:31:27with Kamikaze Sam and Muddy Rhea heading up the muddy...rear.
0:31:27 > 0:31:29Who's The Derrick finishes in fourth.
0:31:30 > 0:31:33Smooth Paul in eighth.
0:31:33 > 0:31:36And Press-Up Jax might be able to do a hundred press-ups,
0:31:36 > 0:31:40but she's just scraped through in twelfth.
0:31:40 > 0:31:45It's time to say goodbye to the valiant contestants who were sadly lost at sea.
0:31:45 > 0:31:49Well, I say "at sea" - I mean in the Total Wipeout water.
0:31:49 > 0:31:54Well, I say "water" - it's more overflow from the nearby chemical plant.
0:31:54 > 0:31:56Now that's recycling!
0:31:56 > 0:32:04# Eternal Father, strong to save
0:32:04 > 0:32:13# Whose arm hath bound the restless wave
0:32:13 > 0:32:21# Who bidd'st the mighty ocean deep...
0:32:21 > 0:32:31# For those in peril on the sea. #
0:32:31 > 0:32:3712 competitors have made it to the next round, and they now face an obstacle so large in scale
0:32:37 > 0:32:40it's actually difficult to convey just how big it is.
0:32:40 > 0:32:45To put it in perspective, it's as high as two medium-sized obstacles.
0:32:45 > 0:32:51Or if you still can't picture it, it's the size of three small obstacles on top of each other.
0:32:51 > 0:32:52Plus about...that.
0:32:52 > 0:32:55That's right - it's Crash Mountain!
0:33:00 > 0:33:04The 12 remaining competitors must dash to the centre podium.
0:33:04 > 0:33:08In their way, two high-speed sweeper arms.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12The first five to dodge them and make it to the middle
0:33:12 > 0:33:14go through to the next round.
0:33:14 > 0:33:17The rest will be left wet and red-faced on the losers' bench.
0:33:19 > 0:33:22On podiums one, two and three,
0:33:22 > 0:33:28it's Press-Up Jax, Kamikaze Sam, and Jailhouse Jules.
0:33:28 > 0:33:30On four and five, it's Smooth Paul...
0:33:30 > 0:33:32I am one smooth talker!
0:33:32 > 0:33:35..and Near-Perfect Noel, the banker.
0:33:35 > 0:33:38I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do.
0:33:38 > 0:33:39That explains the credit crunch.
0:33:39 > 0:33:43On six, seven and eight, it's Yoga Gemma...
0:33:43 > 0:33:48I've got the power, I've got the balance... and I'm going to wipe you out!
0:33:48 > 0:33:49..Bhangra Johnny...
0:33:49 > 0:33:53If you're going to be a bear, be a grizzly!
0:33:53 > 0:33:55..and Ventriloquist Catherine.
0:33:55 > 0:33:58My name is Catherine V Rock, and now the V stands for velocity!
0:33:58 > 0:34:00I can still see your mouth moving.
0:34:00 > 0:34:03On nine and ten, it's Take That Alfie...
0:34:03 > 0:34:04Whoo...!
0:34:04 > 0:34:06..and Who's The Derrick.
0:34:06 > 0:34:10I've got rid of Chyna-Rose - I'm going to get rid of the rest, because I'm the best!
0:34:10 > 0:34:13- And you're also...- The daddy.
0:34:13 > 0:34:16And finally, on eleven and twelve, it's Woo Hoo Wu...
0:34:16 > 0:34:19Wu-wu-wu! Wu-wu-wu! Wu-wu-wu!
0:34:19 > 0:34:20..and Muddy Rhea.
0:34:20 > 0:34:23The only colour I'm seeing is red!
0:34:23 > 0:34:25You won't like her when she's angry, trust me.
0:34:28 > 0:34:32Get your boots on and strap yourselves in, it's Crash Mountain!
0:34:32 > 0:34:35- Are you ready?- ALL: Yeah!
0:34:35 > 0:34:39That's a yes! Three, two...one!
0:34:39 > 0:34:41KLAXON
0:34:44 > 0:34:47So, off it goes. Who will be the first person to take the leap?
0:34:50 > 0:34:52I'm not entirely sure what they're waiting for.
0:34:52 > 0:34:55OK, let me rephrase - will anyone take the leap?
0:34:55 > 0:34:57No, I can't do this!
0:34:57 > 0:34:58Anyone?
0:34:58 > 0:35:00This is really embarrassing.
0:35:02 > 0:35:06- No time like the present!- Come on, people, what are you waiting for?
0:35:06 > 0:35:07Something of an anti-climax.
0:35:09 > 0:35:13- Oh, at last!- Yes!
0:35:13 > 0:35:15Kamikaze Sam there, proving she's no chicken
0:35:15 > 0:35:17with a bit of mid-air doggy paddle.
0:35:19 > 0:35:23Bhangra Johnny now, showing us his moves...
0:35:23 > 0:35:25Oh, it's Who's The Derrick!
0:35:25 > 0:35:28Muddy Rhea now, taking an early dip. Who's next?
0:35:28 > 0:35:30All of a sudden, everyone's up and running.
0:35:30 > 0:35:34Oh - Yoga Gemma completely misses the bridge.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37As does not-so Near-Perfect Noel.
0:35:37 > 0:35:39Ventriloquist Catherine's first on.
0:35:39 > 0:35:41She needs to get to her feet...
0:35:41 > 0:35:43No. Let's just have another look.
0:35:44 > 0:35:47Yeah, I definitely saw her mouth move. Had a sweeper arm in it.
0:35:47 > 0:35:51After that, who would be foolhardy enough to make the dash?
0:35:53 > 0:35:55It's going to take real bravery now.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57It's Alfie!
0:35:57 > 0:35:59Come on...!
0:36:00 > 0:36:03- Take That Alfie took that...- Oh!
0:36:03 > 0:36:05..right on the bottom. Yeah.
0:36:05 > 0:36:06Ouch!
0:36:10 > 0:36:13Near-Perfect Noel...
0:36:13 > 0:36:17Can he use his sporting ability to get all the way to the...
0:36:17 > 0:36:18Oh!
0:36:20 > 0:36:23For many reasons, that's gone wrong.
0:36:23 > 0:36:28Oh! I think he didn't bruise the back of his left leg, but that's it.
0:36:29 > 0:36:31Smooth Paul smoothly into the water.
0:36:31 > 0:36:35Bhangra Johnny with exactly the same fall as last time.
0:36:35 > 0:36:39Someone's got to make it, surely? Oh, it could be Derrick!
0:36:39 > 0:36:40No! It really wasn't.
0:36:40 > 0:36:4357-year-old Derrick the closest so far today,
0:36:43 > 0:36:45he actually got his hands on...
0:36:46 > 0:36:50Catherine now. She's got to get over that...
0:36:51 > 0:36:52Oh!
0:36:53 > 0:36:56I think desperation is now setting in.
0:36:56 > 0:37:00That's Paul... That's gone wrong!
0:37:00 > 0:37:03Oh, Kamikaze Sam making a run...
0:37:03 > 0:37:05And just diving into the water.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08Oh, he's on. First today to make it to the centre podium!
0:37:08 > 0:37:11He's done it, that guy really is nearly perfect.
0:37:13 > 0:37:16Near-Perfect Noel the first to the centre.
0:37:16 > 0:37:20Derrick now, hot on Noel's heels, and he's made it!
0:37:20 > 0:37:21Alfie now.
0:37:21 > 0:37:24- Hasn't made it. - He's the daddy! He's the daddy!
0:37:24 > 0:37:26Jules now...
0:37:26 > 0:37:29Yes! Jules the third to make it.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32Can anyone join these three now?
0:37:32 > 0:37:33Who will be next?
0:37:36 > 0:37:37Ooh... Oh, it's Woo Hoo Wu.
0:37:38 > 0:37:41A late charge there.
0:37:41 > 0:37:44Just two places left. Who's going to make it?
0:37:45 > 0:37:49Will it be Press-Up Jax? Kamikaze Sam? Smooth Paul?
0:37:49 > 0:37:53Yoga Gemma? Bhangra Johnny? Catherine the Ventriloquist?
0:37:53 > 0:37:57Take That Alfie? Woo Hoo Wu? Or Muddy Rhea?
0:37:57 > 0:37:59Time to find out. It's crunch time.
0:38:01 > 0:38:03Oh, no...
0:38:04 > 0:38:08- Oh, not again.- Come on, team! Focus!
0:38:08 > 0:38:11Noel there, using his team management and leadership skills
0:38:11 > 0:38:13to rally the troops.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15I think they're all just knackered.
0:38:15 > 0:38:17Oh...
0:38:19 > 0:38:20Oh, here's Alfie! Come on!
0:38:21 > 0:38:23Ooh... And I think...
0:38:23 > 0:38:27Alfie's on. One place left now. Can Catherine grab it?
0:38:27 > 0:38:29No, she can't. Neither can Gemma.
0:38:30 > 0:38:32An incredible display of synchronised crashing
0:38:32 > 0:38:35from Catherine AND Gemma together there.
0:38:37 > 0:38:39Press-Up Jax edging along there.
0:38:39 > 0:38:42She'll need to get to her feet.
0:38:42 > 0:38:44She needs to get to her feet...
0:38:44 > 0:38:46Oh, she has!
0:38:46 > 0:38:48Yes, she has. And she is through.
0:38:48 > 0:38:50Yes!
0:38:53 > 0:38:58So, Noel, Derrick, Jules, Alfie and Jax progress to the next round.
0:38:58 > 0:39:01But for the other seven competitors, it's the end of the road.
0:39:01 > 0:39:08Some people like to say goodbye with a sad wave or perhaps a gentle, sorrowful embrace.
0:39:08 > 0:39:12I, however, prefer to say my goodbyes via the medium of the montage.
0:39:12 > 0:39:17I'm just not very tactile, I don't like all that huggy... Eeew!
0:39:18 > 0:39:21Gutted. Just...
0:39:21 > 0:39:22gutted.
0:39:26 > 0:39:30I...just didn't have it, really.
0:39:32 > 0:39:34It is ridiculously hard! I'm not even joking.
0:39:35 > 0:39:38Every time you're just falling in the water.
0:39:39 > 0:39:43Massively disappointed. MY kids should be going to Disney World.
0:39:44 > 0:39:45I think Noel's the favourite.
0:39:45 > 0:39:48I think he's going to get his hands on that trophy.
0:39:49 > 0:39:52I'm going to root for Jackie, because she's ultra-fit.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54So, go Jackie!
0:39:55 > 0:40:01Let's just take a moment to think about those who never made it past Crash Mountain.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03Bow your heads. Close your eyes.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06Come on.
0:40:08 > 0:40:10"Doing Dizzy Dummies.
0:40:12 > 0:40:15"See you in pub 20 mins.
0:40:15 > 0:40:17"LOL.
0:40:17 > 0:40:19"XXX. R."
0:40:19 > 0:40:22OK. You can open your eyes again now.
0:40:22 > 0:40:25And now we need to whittle the remaining five down to three.
0:40:25 > 0:40:28Without further ado, it's Dizzy Dummies.
0:40:34 > 0:40:37The contestants will be spun in the Dizzy Dummy.
0:40:37 > 0:40:42Confused and dizzy, they stumble over the revolving goal and traverse the Blob.
0:40:42 > 0:40:44Last to the finish is eliminated.
0:40:44 > 0:40:48They then do it again, but this time over the steppy stones. The last one across is out.
0:40:48 > 0:40:51The two losers go home.
0:40:51 > 0:40:56The other three will also go home, once they've had a go on the Wipeout Zone.
0:40:56 > 0:41:01It's really windy out here today. Not that that's going to make any difference to this lot
0:41:01 > 0:41:03once they get spun into oblivion.
0:41:03 > 0:41:04It's Dizzy Dummies!
0:41:04 > 0:41:08- Are you all ready?- LONE VOICE: Yes!
0:41:08 > 0:41:12No means yes where I come from. Three, two, one...
0:41:12 > 0:41:13KLAXON
0:41:13 > 0:41:16So, whilst these lucky five are spun for 40 seconds,
0:41:16 > 0:41:20let's remind ourselves of who's still in the game...
0:41:20 > 0:41:23He can do anything. But he's also a banker.
0:41:24 > 0:41:26I'm faster than Jenson Button!
0:41:26 > 0:41:28It's Near-Perfect Noel.
0:41:28 > 0:41:31She's ripped. She's fit.
0:41:31 > 0:41:34Well, cos she's a fitness coach. It's Press-Up Jax.
0:41:36 > 0:41:39He's a 57-year-old trucking daddy. It's Who's The Derrick.
0:41:39 > 0:41:41I'm the daddy!
0:41:43 > 0:41:47She works in a jail. She's called Jules. It's Jailhouse Jules.
0:41:51 > 0:41:54And even at this speed he still doesn't look like Robbie Williams -
0:41:54 > 0:41:56it's Take That Alfie.
0:41:59 > 0:42:01And they're off.
0:42:01 > 0:42:06Well, Noel is off, the others struggling with the seat belts.
0:42:07 > 0:42:12Near-Perfect Noel clambers over the goal, and here come the cavalry...
0:42:12 > 0:42:13Ooh, this is getting messy now.
0:42:13 > 0:42:16Noel is the first to the Blob.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18Noel is then the first OFF the Blob.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22Right, it's a better landing from Who's the Derrick.
0:42:22 > 0:42:25But he doesn't stay on long either,
0:42:25 > 0:42:26and neither does Alfie...
0:42:26 > 0:42:28Noel again...
0:42:28 > 0:42:31Oh.
0:42:32 > 0:42:34Noel seemed to get swallowed by the Blob.
0:42:34 > 0:42:36Hope it hasn't got teeth.
0:42:36 > 0:42:38Right, here's Press-Up Jax. Come on.
0:42:39 > 0:42:41No, she's off too.
0:42:41 > 0:42:43Jailhouse Jules goes for it...
0:42:44 > 0:42:47I'm spotting a pattern emerging. Anyone else?
0:42:48 > 0:42:50Noel's back for more. Come on, come on...
0:42:50 > 0:42:52Oh!
0:42:52 > 0:42:55Derrick now, he's onto the final pontoon.
0:42:55 > 0:42:58Make a jump. And he's there, surely...
0:42:58 > 0:42:59Go on...
0:42:59 > 0:43:04- Who's the daddy?- Yes. Showing those whippersnappers how to do it.
0:43:05 > 0:43:08Alfie now. Holding on for dear life...
0:43:08 > 0:43:10Almost there.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13And Take That Alfie has made it through.
0:43:15 > 0:43:17- Come on, Jules. - Yeah, come on, Jules.
0:43:17 > 0:43:21- Noel is coming, so you might want to do it now.- Yeah.
0:43:21 > 0:43:23Oh, no...
0:43:23 > 0:43:27Ooh! Dirty tactics from Not-So-Perfect Noel,
0:43:27 > 0:43:29forcing Jules into a premature dismount...
0:43:30 > 0:43:32..landing on her face.
0:43:32 > 0:43:34Press-Up Jax, sensing an opportunity.
0:43:36 > 0:43:41- Come on, Jax.- And she's across the Blob and onto the first pontoon.
0:43:43 > 0:43:46- How am I going to get across? - You're going to need to jump.
0:43:46 > 0:43:48Oh, Noel's coming again!
0:43:48 > 0:43:50Oh, no, that's... Oh!
0:43:50 > 0:43:51Sorry...
0:43:52 > 0:43:57Far-From-Perfect Noel, re-read the rule book. Oh, there isn't one.
0:43:58 > 0:44:01Oh, Noel, you naughty, naughty boy.
0:44:01 > 0:44:05Jailhouse Jules still can't escape from Blobwood Scrubs...
0:44:08 > 0:44:11Noel now. Let's hope he doesn't hurt anyone else...
0:44:14 > 0:44:18Oh! Might have hurt himself! But he's through.
0:44:18 > 0:44:22So, that not-so-perfect finish from Not-So-Perfect Noel
0:44:22 > 0:44:24means there's just one place left.
0:44:28 > 0:44:29Will it be Jax?
0:44:30 > 0:44:32No.
0:44:32 > 0:44:35- Mind the gap!- Could it be Jules?
0:44:35 > 0:44:36Mind the bigger gap.
0:44:38 > 0:44:40That's still a no.
0:44:41 > 0:44:43Last-ditch attempt from Jax.
0:44:45 > 0:44:47This has got to be it.
0:44:47 > 0:44:50Cos I'm hungry. And it's lunchtime.
0:44:50 > 0:44:53I'm not, I've had an entire packet of custard creams.
0:44:54 > 0:44:56Hallelujah!
0:44:56 > 0:44:57Press-Up Jax has done it -
0:44:57 > 0:45:00and Jailhouse Jules is out of the competition.
0:45:03 > 0:45:06- You tried so hard.- It was great.
0:45:06 > 0:45:09But that final leap, I just...
0:45:09 > 0:45:11It was so close, but... I need longer legs.
0:45:13 > 0:45:18So, Near-Perfect Noel, Who's The Derrick, Take That Alfie and Press-Up Jax
0:45:18 > 0:45:21are strapped back into the Dizzy Dummy for one final time.
0:45:21 > 0:45:23They will have 40 seconds to...
0:45:23 > 0:45:26relax, gather their thoughts,
0:45:26 > 0:45:29plot their strategy, make some final last-minute tweaks...
0:45:29 > 0:45:32- KLAXON - ..and maybe be sick a bit.
0:45:32 > 0:45:34And round two begins.
0:45:34 > 0:45:35Noel's straight off the blocks,
0:45:35 > 0:45:38followed closely by Who's The Derrick and Press-Up Jax.
0:45:38 > 0:45:40Alfie bringing up the rear there.
0:45:41 > 0:45:43To the steppy stones...
0:45:43 > 0:45:47Just these now standing in the way of a place in the Wipeout Zone.
0:45:47 > 0:45:50Ooh... Come on.
0:45:50 > 0:45:52Noel doing pretty well.
0:45:54 > 0:45:57- Ooh, a little slip!- Ooh, Noel!
0:46:02 > 0:46:04Oh, Noel...!
0:46:07 > 0:46:09Bit of a wobble. But he is looking good.
0:46:09 > 0:46:12Can he make this last leap?
0:46:14 > 0:46:17Not-So-Perfect Noel did that pretty perfectly,
0:46:17 > 0:46:20but who will join him in the final?
0:46:20 > 0:46:23Come on, Derrick, you can do it. You are the daddy.
0:46:24 > 0:46:26Who's The Derrick heading the field.
0:46:26 > 0:46:28Nearly there now,
0:46:28 > 0:46:29nearly there.
0:46:29 > 0:46:32And he's safely across.
0:46:32 > 0:46:34- Who's the daddy?- You're the daddy!
0:46:34 > 0:46:38So it's all between Take That Alfie and Press-Up Jax.
0:46:38 > 0:46:41Things not looking good for Jax.
0:46:41 > 0:46:44Alfie just needs to hold on. He's almost there.
0:46:44 > 0:46:47Is it all over for Jax?
0:46:49 > 0:46:51- Yes, it is.- Take that!
0:46:51 > 0:46:53Alfie is through.
0:46:54 > 0:46:58You were last out of the gate. That's pretty much all that went wrong.
0:46:58 > 0:47:01I don't know, I think maybe I let the guys go ahead,
0:47:01 > 0:47:05and I wasn't enough... I should have been a bit more tomboyish.
0:47:05 > 0:47:08Big nasty boys, you didn't have a hope!
0:47:08 > 0:47:10I know.
0:47:10 > 0:47:14The Total Wipeout course has selected today's finalists.
0:47:14 > 0:47:18Near-Perfect Noel, Who's The Derrick and Take That Alfie have
0:47:18 > 0:47:22made it to the Wipeout Zone, the pinnacle of their existence to date.
0:47:22 > 0:47:26That's a bit unfair, actually, one of them could be an astronaut.
0:47:26 > 0:47:31Actually, Noel is an investment banker, so...yeah, the pinnacle of their existence to date.
0:47:35 > 0:47:40I am so surprised that I've got to this point. I'm actually a bit emotional about it all.
0:47:40 > 0:47:43I've completely shocked myself. Not expecting to be here.
0:47:43 > 0:47:46I set my standards high. I did want to get through to the final,
0:47:46 > 0:47:49but I'm quite pleased with my performance so far.
0:47:49 > 0:47:54- I am unbelievably excited. - I'm feeling pretty nervous.
0:47:54 > 0:47:58I've got this far and it would be a shame to drop out in the last three.
0:47:58 > 0:47:59So...focus.
0:48:01 > 0:48:05- Noel's been the favourite from the start.- He desperately wants to win.
0:48:06 > 0:48:08Derrick's the one to watch, from my perspective.
0:48:08 > 0:48:12He's been close behind me in a lot of the qualifying rounds.
0:48:12 > 0:48:16He's got a goal, and he won't give up until he's reached that goal.
0:48:16 > 0:48:19I'm going to do it. If I ain't got faith in myself, why should you?
0:48:19 > 0:48:21Who's the daddy?
0:48:21 > 0:48:23I'm the daddy. The number one daddy.
0:48:24 > 0:48:27I am definitely going to be the front man.
0:48:27 > 0:48:30I live by the motto of, the game is won before you step on the pitch.
0:48:30 > 0:48:33If you don't believe you can win, what's the point?
0:48:33 > 0:48:36Age to me is just a number. And it doesn't bother me.
0:48:37 > 0:48:41I've come so far, I don't want to walk away with nothing now.
0:48:41 > 0:48:44I would recommend the viewers put a sneaky little bet on me.
0:48:45 > 0:48:49Put your money on the daddy. Big daddy's coming home!
0:48:50 > 0:48:55Just watching all of that has tired me out. But I'm not a quitter.
0:48:55 > 0:49:00Even though I am tired, I'm going to carry on watching the next bit through to the end, oh yes.
0:49:00 > 0:49:04No pain, no gain. I'm going to watch the heck out of this next round.
0:49:04 > 0:49:08Come on, Hammond, shift up a gear, it's the Wipeout Zone!
0:49:13 > 0:49:18So this is what the three finalists will face.
0:49:18 > 0:49:21Killer Surf. You fall down it.
0:49:21 > 0:49:23Rapid Climb. You climb up it.
0:49:23 > 0:49:25Then fall down it.
0:49:25 > 0:49:27Balance Beam. You balance on it.
0:49:27 > 0:49:29Then fall off it.
0:49:29 > 0:49:33Crazy Sweeper. You run across it for a bit, and then fall off it.
0:49:33 > 0:49:37Tarzan Swing. You swing...and then, well, you don't need me to tell you.
0:49:37 > 0:49:40Then it's the end - and you might get one of these.
0:49:40 > 0:49:44There's a buzz in the air, and I'm not talking about the mosquitoes.
0:49:44 > 0:49:49It's another exciting Wipeout Zone, and the first to go is Alfie.
0:49:49 > 0:49:53So, Alfie, the 25-year-old Robbie impersonator, is the first to go.
0:49:56 > 0:49:58Let's have it!
0:49:58 > 0:50:00Yeah, you're going to get it. And he's off.
0:50:07 > 0:50:08Great landing there.
0:50:08 > 0:50:12And now a quick swim to the Rapid Climb.
0:50:16 > 0:50:17He's on...
0:50:18 > 0:50:20And doing well, straight up.
0:50:20 > 0:50:25He needs to get to the top in 10 seconds to avoid the tidal wave.
0:50:25 > 0:50:28And he's now struggling. Oh, come on, Alfie.
0:50:28 > 0:50:32Two, one... Oh, no, here comes the water!
0:50:34 > 0:50:36Somehow he's managing to hold on.
0:50:39 > 0:50:43Yeah. Probably a bit tired from all that effort,
0:50:43 > 0:50:45but he's pressing on.
0:50:48 > 0:50:50He's made it to the top.
0:50:51 > 0:50:52Balance Beam is next.
0:50:52 > 0:50:57The last thing Alfie wants to do here is lose his footing. Come on.
0:50:59 > 0:51:01Ooh! Oh...
0:51:04 > 0:51:06And he's made it across.
0:51:06 > 0:51:09To the Crazy Sweeper, where timing is everything. He's going for it.
0:51:12 > 0:51:14Going to pick his moment. Oh, no, he's slipped!
0:51:17 > 0:51:19- And he's off.- Oh, Alfie!
0:51:19 > 0:51:22Couldn't hold on, and that's going to cost him dearly.
0:51:22 > 0:51:25It's a swim and a climb now.
0:51:25 > 0:51:27He really needs to make up some time.
0:51:27 > 0:51:28CROWD CHANTS
0:51:29 > 0:51:31He looks exhausted.
0:51:35 > 0:51:37Has he got any power left in those arms
0:51:37 > 0:51:41to get him over the Tarzan Swing? He's going for it...
0:51:41 > 0:51:43Come on. He's on...
0:51:43 > 0:51:44Oh, no!
0:51:46 > 0:51:51That really was the last thing Alfie needed. Just in pieces now.
0:51:53 > 0:51:55Come on, Alfie. One leap.
0:51:55 > 0:51:57- Come on, Alfie. - One leap and it's over.
0:51:57 > 0:51:59And he's done it.
0:51:59 > 0:52:043:15. Not the fastest, but he's still in there with a chance.
0:52:04 > 0:52:08Take That Alfie had a strong start until the tidal wave
0:52:08 > 0:52:10took the wind out of his sails.
0:52:11 > 0:52:14Not the best Wipeout Zone performance,
0:52:14 > 0:52:17but will it be enough to net him £10,000?
0:52:17 > 0:52:20You're shaking your head, what's wrong? Why are you so upset?
0:52:20 > 0:52:23Awful. I fell off everything.
0:52:23 > 0:52:25I'll put you out of your misery.
0:52:25 > 0:52:27Your time tonight was 3:15,
0:52:27 > 0:52:29- which really isn't that bad at all. - Not too bad.
0:52:29 > 0:52:32Not as bad as you thought. So, yours is the time to beat.
0:52:32 > 0:52:34So next up is Derrick.
0:52:35 > 0:52:39He may be 32 years older than Alfie, but he has been one of
0:52:39 > 0:52:42- the strongest competitors all day. - Who's the daddy?
0:52:42 > 0:52:44It's Who's The Derrick.
0:52:47 > 0:52:48Oh!
0:52:51 > 0:52:54An awkward landing. Hope he hasn't put his back out.
0:52:54 > 0:52:55So, 3:15 to beat.
0:52:57 > 0:53:01Derrick makes his way to the Rapid Climb.
0:53:03 > 0:53:07He has to pull himself up, a lot of upper body strength is needed here.
0:53:07 > 0:53:11And he's got it, clearly. The 10 seconds begin, he's doing well.
0:53:12 > 0:53:16Still moving up. This is going to be close, the seconds ticking away.
0:53:16 > 0:53:18Walking up it!
0:53:18 > 0:53:19And he's done it.
0:53:19 > 0:53:23He was just a second away from a face full of water.
0:53:23 > 0:53:26On to the Balance Beam now.
0:53:26 > 0:53:30Grandfather of six Derrick has got to stick to that beam.
0:53:32 > 0:53:33Doing very well.
0:53:33 > 0:53:38I reckon one or two more steps and he'll be there...
0:53:38 > 0:53:41Yeah, one final step and he's there.
0:53:41 > 0:53:44And he is. Now it's a test of speed and timing on the Crazy Sweeper.
0:53:44 > 0:53:46And he's just going for it.
0:53:46 > 0:53:49Come on, Derrick, this is going to be close.
0:53:49 > 0:53:52Oh!
0:53:52 > 0:53:54He's being chased! I can't watch!
0:53:54 > 0:53:55No...
0:53:55 > 0:53:57Oh, no!
0:53:58 > 0:54:00- Unbelievable.- My God...
0:54:00 > 0:54:03He held on. This is an incredible performance.
0:54:03 > 0:54:05On to the Tarzan Swing, way ahead of Alfie now.
0:54:05 > 0:54:08Can he do this?
0:54:10 > 0:54:12Yes, he can.
0:54:12 > 0:54:14What is this man made of? Nearly there.
0:54:14 > 0:54:16Oh!
0:54:17 > 0:54:20And what a finish.
0:54:20 > 0:54:22And a time of 1:58.
0:54:22 > 0:54:25- Who's the daddy?- I'll say you are!
0:54:26 > 0:54:29That was an incredible performance from Derrick -
0:54:29 > 0:54:321:17 faster than Take That Alfie.
0:54:32 > 0:54:35It's time for Amanda to break the news.
0:54:39 > 0:54:42You walked around that. You don't even seem out of breath.
0:54:42 > 0:54:45I am now! First class.
0:54:45 > 0:54:49- Pleased with your performance? - 100%, yeah.
0:54:49 > 0:54:54Alfie was wonderful tonight, he did that course in relatively good time.
0:54:54 > 0:54:57Derrick - you're still the daddy, though, you were faster.
0:54:57 > 0:54:59- Yes! The daddy's home! - Alfie, I'm sorry.
0:55:02 > 0:55:05- Alfie, go join the others. - The daddy's home!
0:55:05 > 0:55:06Do you know what this means?
0:55:06 > 0:55:11It means this is between you and Noel. 50-50 chance of winning this tonight, Derrick.
0:55:11 > 0:55:13That's good enough for me.
0:55:13 > 0:55:15Let's watch Noel.
0:55:16 > 0:55:19So, can Near-Perfect Noel beat Derrick's near-perfect run?
0:55:19 > 0:55:22This...is it.
0:55:22 > 0:55:24It's time to find out.
0:55:26 > 0:55:3022-year-old Noel is a pentathlete, which should give him an advantage
0:55:30 > 0:55:33over a 57-year-old grandfather of six.
0:55:33 > 0:55:35He's in the water.
0:55:36 > 0:55:37The Rapid Climb first.
0:55:42 > 0:55:43And he's on.
0:55:43 > 0:55:47So the clock is started as soon as he's on.
0:55:47 > 0:55:5010 seconds, remember, before the tidal wave.
0:55:50 > 0:55:53Ooh, he's taken a slip!
0:55:53 > 0:55:55He's struggling!
0:55:55 > 0:55:57Two, one...
0:55:57 > 0:55:59Oh, no - here it comes.
0:56:01 > 0:56:02Can Noel hold on?
0:56:04 > 0:56:06The force of the water pushing him down.
0:56:06 > 0:56:09But he's done it, he's still on the Rapid Climb.
0:56:09 > 0:56:11No... Oh, that's good for me.
0:56:11 > 0:56:13Derrick urging Noel to slip,
0:56:13 > 0:56:17but he's made it up to the Balance Beam. There he is.
0:56:18 > 0:56:21Take your time! You've got plenty time, slow up!
0:56:22 > 0:56:26Noel really is going to have to pull something special out of the bag.
0:56:26 > 0:56:29He really can't afford a single slip.
0:56:33 > 0:56:36He's made it to The Crazy Sweeper,
0:56:36 > 0:56:38but he's going to have to be really quick now.
0:56:42 > 0:56:46And that's not going to do it, is it? What's he doing?
0:56:46 > 0:56:48He's just throwing away any chances here.
0:56:48 > 0:56:52Come on, Noel, get up! We've just watched a 57-year-old grandfather
0:56:52 > 0:56:55outrun that beam, and you're slithering about on your belly.
0:56:55 > 0:56:57Come on!
0:56:59 > 0:57:01Come on...
0:57:03 > 0:57:05Go on, Noel, take your time, mate. You've got all night!
0:57:07 > 0:57:12Sadly for him, his challenge is as good as over now.
0:57:19 > 0:57:23It's a good swing, no problems for Noel. Just the finish podium now.
0:57:25 > 0:57:28And he's there. 2:30.
0:57:29 > 0:57:32So much promise from Near-Perfect Noel, but he finished
0:57:32 > 0:57:35a far-from-perfect 32 seconds behind Derrick.
0:57:35 > 0:57:39He doesn't know that yet, and it's time for him to find out.
0:57:42 > 0:57:45That was absolutely brilliant. How are you feeling?
0:57:45 > 0:57:48Good, yeah. Really happy, thank you.
0:57:48 > 0:57:52You've been so determined today, and so fantastic. You've been the frontrunner all day.
0:57:52 > 0:57:57Tonight, Derrick, we were wondering if we were going to have our oldest winner on Total Wipeout at 57.
0:57:57 > 0:58:01Noel, I can tell you now, you were fantastic -
0:58:01 > 0:58:05but you are still the daddy, Derrick! You are the Total Wipeout champion!
0:58:06 > 0:58:08Daddy's home to stay!
0:58:08 > 0:58:10I warned you...
0:58:10 > 0:58:16Congratulations to Derrick from Sidcup, who's bagged himself £10,000.
0:58:16 > 0:58:19He's also bagged himself a place in the Total Wipeout final,
0:58:19 > 0:58:21along with Alfie and Noel...
0:58:22 > 0:58:27..where the best of the best battle for the ultimate title, the Champion of Champions.
0:58:27 > 0:58:33Join me next time, as I continue the search to find more potential champions. People like this.
0:58:33 > 0:58:37MUSIC: "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" by Michael Jackson
0:58:37 > 0:58:39And this.
0:58:41 > 0:58:43From Amanda and me, goodbye.
0:59:03 > 0:59:05Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:59:05 > 0:59:08E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk