0:00:02 > 0:00:05Buenos Aires, Argentina. How do I know?
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Well, I don't, to be honest. I don't think it's Swindon.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10You're just going to have to trust me,
0:00:10 > 0:00:14it's Buenos Aires and this week 20 more ambitious hopefuls,
0:00:14 > 0:00:16including a dodge ball coach, a pot-holer
0:00:16 > 0:00:20and a professional wrestler have come here
0:00:20 > 0:00:23in search of glory, steak and that £10,000 prize.
0:00:23 > 0:00:2719 may as well turn around and fly back home because only one can win.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30Let the destruction begin.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Welcome to a very special Total Wipeout
0:00:38 > 0:00:41because tonight it's the Britain edition.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Yep, every single one of tonight's competitors
0:00:44 > 0:00:47hails from the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50How does that differ from normal?
0:00:50 > 0:00:51Well, it doesn't.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53It's precisely the same,
0:00:53 > 0:00:56so I really rather regret asking that question now.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Let's just move on before anyone notices
0:00:59 > 0:01:02and see what tonight's Britons will be battling.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05The Qualifier, a GCSE in grazes.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Crash Mountain, A level awkward.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Back for the first time this series,
0:01:10 > 0:01:13the Dreadmill, degree level difficult.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16And the Wipeout Zone, a PhD in pain.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20So now the scene is set, the fun can begin.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23What can I say about my co host Amanda Byram
0:01:23 > 0:01:26that hasn't already been said?
0:01:26 > 0:01:29She's a 40-foot-tall German bobsleigh champion.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33That's never been said. And here she is with today's first competitor.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42So, who is first to tackle the mighty Qualifier today?
0:01:42 > 0:01:46It's 29-year-old-fitness-fanatic Jennie from Sheffield,
0:01:46 > 0:01:47and she's in the army.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52What's the toughest thing you've done to prepare for Total Wipeout?
0:01:52 > 0:01:56We run, like, five to nine miles, run with the squadron,
0:01:56 > 0:01:59and I am the only girl in the squadron who runs with them, so...
0:01:59 > 0:02:03- So you're one chick and how many men? - About 140, something like that?
0:02:03 > 0:02:05What's that like?
0:02:05 > 0:02:08It's all right for me!
0:02:08 > 0:02:10I may be a girl in the army, but I'm going to
0:02:10 > 0:02:14hup, one, two, three, hup, one, two, three right to the finish.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17OK, we'll be watching. Standby for the first obstacle.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21It's the second outing for the Super Walk Of Shame.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25Imagine a Walk Of Shame, but put the word super in front of it,
0:02:25 > 0:02:27that's what we've got here.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30So, straight into combat, Jennie needs a proper plan of attack.
0:02:30 > 0:02:34I'm sure she knows, some of those poles are wobbly... No, she didn't.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36That's the sort of intelligence
0:02:36 > 0:02:38she could have done with hearing back before she started!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40She almost made it,
0:02:40 > 0:02:43but on Total Wipeout almost means no chance.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Second set now. Will Jennie fare better or worse?
0:02:46 > 0:02:49That's worse! That is worse.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Being in the army Jennie must have a certain level of fitness,
0:02:52 > 0:02:56something which most Total Wipeout contestants lack entirely.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Making good progress past the gloves. No, not that one, though.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03That... Yeah, that one got her. Being in the army, of course,
0:03:03 > 0:03:06she is no stranger to obstacle courses,
0:03:06 > 0:03:09though there are no stranger obstacle courses than this one.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Right, there's a parade of red balls coming her way.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16And it's easy to forget The Motivator,
0:03:16 > 0:03:18a ginormous red mallet.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21It's not really that scary, is it?
0:03:21 > 0:03:24It's supposed to push the slow ones off the edge,
0:03:24 > 0:03:28but frankly it's only worked twice, so it's either stuck,
0:03:28 > 0:03:31broken or the contestants are too good.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Hang on, they're not all, like,
0:03:33 > 0:03:36- really good contestants today, are they?- No.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Oh, good. Here comes GI Jennie.
0:03:39 > 0:03:44There you go, see, too quick for The Motivator, but... Oh, dear!
0:03:44 > 0:03:48Jennie getting into position now for a brand new obstacle.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52Legend has it that King Eduardo I promised a cow
0:03:52 > 0:03:56to any settler who could master these, the Rings Of Fire.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59Failure would bring shame on a family
0:03:59 > 0:04:00and mean a life without mince.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04Lovingly recreated by one of King Eduardo's descendants,
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Eduardo, they're harder than ever.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10At least I hope they are because we've only got one cow.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Jennie taking her time, but then the army probably make her
0:04:13 > 0:04:16do this sort of thing before breakfast, so she'll be fine.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20First contestant on a new obstacle, it's...
0:04:20 > 0:04:24Oh, it was really not fine it all, is it? Let's just see that again.
0:04:24 > 0:04:30Grab, swing, lunge, miss, spin and drop.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Still, Jennie makes it to the finish line and can stand at ease
0:04:33 > 0:04:36with a respectable time of 3:01.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39I'm joined now by the lovely Alex from Clitheroe
0:04:39 > 0:04:41who spends all his time underground.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44- Are you a mole?- Oh, yes, I am.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47I spent all my time crawling through things, climbing up things,
0:04:47 > 0:04:50going underground, seeing what's in the underground world.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53The feeling of exploration is absolutely fantastic.
0:04:53 > 0:04:57Great, the very first mole on the show.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Next week Ratty and Badger make an appearance.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03Of course, he's a pot-holer, and a mole, who does karate.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Whatever!
0:05:05 > 0:05:11No ropes and harnesses for this one Alex, so do try and stay up. Oh, no!
0:05:11 > 0:05:13No, he can't help it, can he?
0:05:13 > 0:05:16The second stab on the stalactites or stalagmites of shame
0:05:16 > 0:05:19and, again, he feels an urge to go underground.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Yeah, we call it gravity.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25That's a real leg twanger that one, followed by a five-star belly flop.
0:05:25 > 0:05:31Good work! On to the horizontal climbing wall, the Sucker Punch. Oh!
0:05:31 > 0:05:33That would be a shock in a dark cave on a Friday night.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35But for a mole, he is doing quite well.
0:05:35 > 0:05:40That strong caving grip is working wonders. It was...
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Was working wonders.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Holey Moley Alex getting jittery now, he's not used to going up.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48That's 15 feet above sea level.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51It looks like another competitor too quick for The Motivator.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Good effort. The best for a mole in fact,
0:05:56 > 0:05:58and he's looking quicker than Jennie so far.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01The Rings Of Fire sure to be his forte,
0:06:01 > 0:06:03strong arms, used to dragging him through caves.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06He is holding on, just needs to swing now.
0:06:09 > 0:06:10No!
0:06:10 > 0:06:15Holey Moley Alex finally makes the podium in 2:55,
0:06:15 > 0:06:17though he might have been quicker with a torch on his head.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Oh, talk to me, how was that for you, Alex?
0:06:20 > 0:06:22- Very hard, actually. - You were absolutely brilliant though.
0:06:22 > 0:06:28You said that you were going to go hell for leather!
0:06:28 > 0:06:31That's what I did, even when I fell, I got up there again.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Next to tackle The Qualifier is David, who is head of marketing for
0:06:34 > 0:06:39a computer games company, whose names rhymes with Suzanne Vega.
0:06:39 > 0:06:44Do you think that your job has prepared you for Wipeout course?
0:06:44 > 0:06:47I'll be running, jumping, dodging, you know?
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Everything you do in a video game. Easy.
0:06:49 > 0:06:50Yeah, but this is different.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53It's called real life, and it hurts.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56A cautious approach to the Super Walk Of Shame. Oh, and reverse 270.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58This man's got panache,
0:06:58 > 0:07:02and probably now an ear infection as well, that water's not good.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05On to Level III, otherwise known as the Balls.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Joystick David shows us his special move there,
0:07:07 > 0:07:09which puts him in the water.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- It's like one big game.- Yeah.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Which... Up, up, up.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Down, down, down.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Fire, fire, fire. Left, fire, down.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Yeah. You can always start again, another life chalked up.
0:07:21 > 0:07:25David claimed Total Wipeout would be like one big computer game,
0:07:25 > 0:07:28only this one's got slippery rings dangling above real water.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Oh, it's a good jump.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Oh! Yeah, those slippery rings again.
0:07:35 > 0:07:36Turns out to be quite tricky,
0:07:36 > 0:07:39as David's computer game employer once said,
0:07:39 > 0:07:43to be this good takes ages, in fact, it takes 2:54.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46From outer space it's time to crash back to Earth. This is Mike.
0:07:46 > 0:07:52He's a professional wrestler and a man mountain.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55I've got a good guy character, a bad guy character.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58When I'm playing a good guy, geeing up the fans I'm Mike Wild,
0:07:58 > 0:08:01and when I want them to boo me I am Hatred.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03- So your good guy is called... - Mike Wild.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06- And your bad guy is called...- Is Hatred.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08I smell like smoke because I have been through fire
0:08:08 > 0:08:10and this course is going to burn.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Yeah, he is joking, Mike smells like smoke
0:08:13 > 0:08:16cos he's been burning wet leaves at the bottom of his garden.
0:08:16 > 0:08:21OK, he's off. The first man ever to make that ramp wobble.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25He's in, but it's all right, he can probably stand up in there.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28If necessary drink it all and run out of a dry pool.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31That's Mike Wild trying to swim there,
0:08:31 > 0:08:33a pretty mean doggy paddle, I've got to say.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Swimming clearly not a wrestler's forte.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38But the crowd all love it.
0:08:38 > 0:08:39When he's not Mike Wild,
0:08:39 > 0:08:43Mike is the cash allocation clerk for a stationery company in Telford.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Fortunately, he never confuses the two roles.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Just the three steps out of the water,
0:08:47 > 0:08:51and, oh, no, he's made that into a new obstacle.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53They'd have felt that in Bolivia.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56And now for the five inch drop down to the sucker punch.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00That fire is still burning. A wrestler will breeze through this.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Oh! No, he's hit the canvas.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05He should have spent more time gripping than grappling.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Just who opens the jam jars in his house, I wonder?
0:09:09 > 0:09:11In the brown corner it's wrestler Hatred,
0:09:11 > 0:09:13and in the other brown corner it's El Swampo.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16The mud's got him pinned. You'll have to start the count.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20ten, nine, eight... I tell you, he's not going to like this.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24Hatred's going to hate being humiliated by bog water.
0:09:24 > 0:09:31The minute he finds out who's done that bit there will be hell to pay.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Yes, that's it, he's out.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34He's had it, and he's angry.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38That's the sign for whoever dug that pit will have to face the Hatred.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42Right, who's next? My eyes! That's too bright!
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Who's this and what is she wearing?
0:09:45 > 0:09:47No-one will miss you wearing that outfit, Sam.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49No, exactly, you know?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51This is mother of two Sam from Hampshire.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53Look at that, not often you're mooned to by the sun.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Let the sunshine in.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57I'm here to win.
0:09:57 > 0:10:02OK, that's a bit of PWA, Positive Wipeout Attitude.
0:10:04 > 0:10:05Oh, it didn't work well at all.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09The Sucker Punch now for Sunshine Sam
0:10:09 > 0:10:10and she's still smiling.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13Smiling in the face of adversity.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17And adversity returns the favour with a punch to the smile.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20But as day follows night, the sun rises again.
0:10:20 > 0:10:21I hope the forecast is bright.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23She needs to get a move on. Come on!
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Flying squirrel.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Yeah.
0:10:27 > 0:10:28Oh, The Motivator!
0:10:28 > 0:10:31She took too long.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Now, I've seen a lot of flying squirrels in my time,
0:10:36 > 0:10:39..but that, that didn't look like one of them!
0:10:39 > 0:10:43My favourite thing in the whole world is The Motivator.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47Look at that. At last, a perfect strike. Right up the smiley face.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49There she goes. Motivated!
0:10:49 > 0:10:54Can we just drop all the sunshine gags now, please? And the music?
0:10:54 > 0:10:57No, that's too much. And that one, as well. Just, whatever...
0:10:57 > 0:10:59The sun and the moon, all in one.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00Look at those clouds.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02The outlook's not great for Sunshine Sam.
0:11:02 > 0:11:07Will she succeed where all others have failed before her?
0:11:08 > 0:11:12Oh, that's about as no as it gets.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18A lot of falling over, swimming and then falling over again
0:11:18 > 0:11:23leaves Sunshine Sam with a rather overcast time of 4:34. Never mind.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Not so sunny now.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28I'm joined now at the top of The Qualifier
0:11:28 > 0:11:29by Nick who is a dodge ball coach.
0:11:29 > 0:11:33Nick, dodge ball, that has got to be a pretend sport.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- You're just making this up. - No, it's as real as it comes.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38We're proper athletes.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40So, he'll be brilliant on Total Wipeout, then.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43Just a pity that this week there's no dodge ball.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46I'll use the five Ds of dodge to get round this course,
0:11:46 > 0:11:50dodge, duck, dip, dive and maybe a little more dodging.
0:11:50 > 0:11:51That's a lot of Ds for one sport.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54Here is another two for you, Dunk in the Drink,
0:11:54 > 0:11:55probably followed by dysentery.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58Oh, no, he's making it across.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00He's away! Oh!
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Forgot to dodge at the last moment.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05A great performance from the dodge ball-playing Milton Keynesian.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08I don't know, is that right? He's from Milton Keynes.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13On to the only four balls in the southern hemisphere
0:12:13 > 0:12:16that you must never, ever dodge.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Do this well and Nick could post a very fast time. No.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Some more Ds in for you Nick hot off the press,
0:12:22 > 0:12:25D for doink, dive and damage.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31But he's recovered well and this will be an amazingly quick time.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Rings of fire now. Can he do it? Oh, this looks confident.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37This looks great. Good swing.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41Missing all of the rings out there and falling in the water.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45A quick swim to the podium, Dodgy Nick posts a time of 2:01
0:12:45 > 0:12:47that is the fastest time so far today.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50It's time to check the leaderboard.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53With that storming time Dodgy Nick stamps his name at the very top,
0:12:53 > 0:12:56followed by Joystick David and Holey Moley Alex.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59And no surprise that Mighty Mike is languishing at the bottom
0:12:59 > 0:13:00with a DNF.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03Well, with the men dominating the show so far
0:13:03 > 0:13:05what would be really great next
0:13:05 > 0:13:07is a no nonsense woman to redress the balance.
0:13:07 > 0:13:12A woman with passion, drive and determination to win.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14I wonder who's next?
0:13:14 > 0:13:17This is Jackie, a Home Counties gal.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Hardly aggressive, though.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Look, she's got bunches! She's a mother of two,
0:13:22 > 0:13:25probably got a puppy, lives in a cottage, I imagine.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28I might only be 46, but I've got what it takes!
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Crikey! That's more like it!
0:13:31 > 0:13:37Right, so Attackie Jackie attackies the course. Here we go. What's that?
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Right, yes.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Right, she's away!
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Oh, she... Oh, dear.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46To do that was the wrong choice.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Yeah, did herself no favours there.
0:13:51 > 0:13:56Time for Jackie to attackie the balls. Here we go. No lingering. Oh!
0:13:56 > 0:13:59Oh, nice dive, but that's about it.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01She'll need to get a wriggle on
0:14:01 > 0:14:03if she wants to put up a fight on Crash Mountain.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06On to the rings. Here we go. Oh!
0:14:06 > 0:14:08More of a surrender than a fight.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Aggressive she might be, fast, sadly, she isn't.
0:14:10 > 0:14:16Attackie Jackie will need anger management with a time of 4:14.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18More, please.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22This is Natalie from Essex who describes herself as a bad loser.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Watch out, boys, the next female champion's coming to get you.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28I shall describe her as Noisy Natalie. And there's also Annette.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30In what way is she aggressive?
0:14:30 > 0:14:33She's got a Glaswegian accent, and that's enough.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37I'm going to treat this course like a man, and walk all over it.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40There you go. It's the Total Wipeout Hell's Angels.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44Noisy Natalie is out to give the Walk Of Shame a scare.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Ooh! Oh! It scared someone!
0:14:50 > 0:14:52That's a nasty face plant.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54On the way down, Natalie has time to plant a little kiss.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Angry Annette on the Sucker Punch now.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Angry Annette off the Sucker Punch.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02Annette out to smash the balls.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Oh, no smashing, just splashing.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Natalie now prepares herself...
0:15:07 > 0:15:08and fails.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12Unless she was preparing for a swim, in which case, she succeeds.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Once again, she moves in for her trademark kiss. Just there.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20She knows the right moment, lovely.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Annette on the rings now, and, oh, straight in.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Give her credit, she did at least brush past three of them.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29How many rings will Natalie touch? Here we go...
0:15:29 > 0:15:30Oh, two!
0:15:30 > 0:15:33That leaves the Hell's Angels much closer to heaven.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37Angry Annette with a respectable three minutes three seconds and
0:15:37 > 0:15:41Noisy Natalie in at a similarly impressive three minutes 14.
0:15:41 > 0:15:46Will it be more of the same from the next competitor? This is Mel.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Wow, how do you do that?
0:15:48 > 0:15:51- Oh, steady now.- I'm an ex gymnast.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54I competed in two Commonwealth Games and just missed out on the Olympics.
0:15:54 > 0:16:00And what could be tougher for a world class athlete than the world famous Total Wipeout course?
0:16:00 > 0:16:06Already there's some Olympic rings, there's a winner's podium and there are some big red round things.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09Somersault Mel has already had a strong start
0:16:09 > 0:16:11as she approaches the Red Balls.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14They'll be an Olympic sport in 2012, by the way.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17Keep an eye out now for some gymnastic prowess. Oh...
0:16:17 > 0:16:22Well, it didn't look too gymnastic, but I wonder what the slow motion camera reveals.
0:16:22 > 0:16:27You see, it reveals exactly the same thing, just slower.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Now surely the Rings Of Fire
0:16:29 > 0:16:32are bread and butter for a nearly Olympic athlete.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34High hopes for this one.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Yes, good swing.
0:16:36 > 0:16:37She's on to ring two.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Oh, back again.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42OK, trying that again now.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Yeah, on to ring three... But back to the start.
0:16:44 > 0:16:49Oh, and a perfect dismount. Just a long climb upwards to the podium.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52She'll have to wait to see if she's finally got that bronze
0:16:52 > 0:16:54that every British athlete deserves.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58But for now, a very good time of two minutes 41 seconds.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Time for a real life hero.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02No not me, I mean a proper hero.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05It's Brian, an air sea rescue chopper pilot.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Total Wipeout is all about balance and speed, in my eyes.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Do you tick any of those boxes?
0:17:12 > 0:17:14I'm a former BMX freestyle World Champion.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17Yeah, we'll pretend we didn't hear that Brian.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20And Brian's got his mates to drop him off. Cool!
0:17:20 > 0:17:23They'll be standing by should anything go wrong.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25I've been rescuing people for 15 years.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29I'm not cashing in any favours to be rescued on this course today.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Let's see what the RAF is like on the ground
0:17:31 > 0:17:34as he heads down to the Super Walk Of Shame. Whoa!
0:17:34 > 0:17:36That...that is good footwork.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Really good footwork.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Quickly on to the Sucker Punch. Edging along.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45Oh, missing. Dips a foot in the mud,
0:17:45 > 0:17:48maybe just checking the temperature, but he's undeterred.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51This is brave stuff, and he's across! What a hero!
0:17:51 > 0:17:56Brian sprints towards the Big Red Balls. I'm expecting something good.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59One, kind of two... Yes, he's on, he's on.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Yeah, three. This is...
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Oh, yes! It's got all the hallmarks of...
0:18:05 > 0:18:06Oh - of another failure.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Could have done with an airlift over that last ball.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11This is shaping up to be a very fast time, though.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15The best attempt we've seen so far today, but, oh, same outcome.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17Nevertheless, Chopper Brian completes the course
0:18:17 > 0:18:19in the fastest time so far,
0:18:19 > 0:18:22an amazing one minute 48 seconds!
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Even the fastest competitor so far, Chopper Brian,
0:18:25 > 0:18:27couldn't manage to defeat the Rings Of Fire,
0:18:27 > 0:18:29but he's not the only one person
0:18:29 > 0:18:34who's been having ring trouble, because so far not one contestant has managed to traverse them.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39They've defeated a dodgeballer, a pot-holer,
0:18:39 > 0:18:43a world class athlete, even a district supermarket manager,
0:18:43 > 0:18:47which begs the question, are they impossible?
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Is this really an obstacle that no-one can beat?
0:18:51 > 0:18:53They're certainly tough, but spare a thought
0:18:53 > 0:18:59for the ring on the end, ring 16, never touched, never reached, stuck out there alone and unloved.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02Well, from now on it's going to be different.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04We need a coordinated attack.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06This is Operation Bumblebee.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10Here is Lesley, a copper from Devon.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14She's used to chasing bad men over rooftops so she'll make mincemeat of it.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16And as backup she has her trusty sidekick, Claire.
0:19:16 > 0:19:22They don't actually know each other, but she does have a bee on her T shirt, so she's in.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Having limbered up on the Super Walk Of Shame,
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Operation Bumblebee is go, go, go.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31Let's Be Havin' You Lesley is first to the rings. Yeah...
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Yeah, well, there's still hope. I'm not giving up.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37How about Claire, then? Can she change things on the rings?
0:19:37 > 0:19:40No, not even close. That's it, I'm shutting down Operation Bumblebee.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44Sorry about that. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but, hey,
0:19:44 > 0:19:47sometimes even the best laid plans don't make it out of the workshop.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49My underwear toaster, for example.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51That was terrible.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Moving on, time to check the leaderboard.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Chopper Brian needs no rescuing in first place,
0:19:56 > 0:20:00knocking Dodgy Nick down to second, Somersault Mel in third.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03After Joystick David, Holey Moley Alex makes it to fifth
0:20:03 > 0:20:06and anger management won't help Annette in seventh.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10And supporting the bottom of the board - Operation Bumblebee,
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Buzzy Bee Claire.
0:20:11 > 0:20:16I'm joined now at the top of the course by Jon from Liverpool, who is a florist.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19I'm joking, of course. Because you're a rock 'n' roller, aren't you?
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Indeed I am, indeed I am.
0:20:23 > 0:20:28Do you kind of like rip your shirt off and show all the girls your rock and roll physique?
0:20:28 > 0:20:46I said rock 'n' ro-o-o-o-o-oll!
0:20:46 > 0:20:49Well, he's certainly got his voice turned up to 11.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Wow, look at that! The power of rock 'n' roll
0:20:52 > 0:20:55destroying the Walk Of Shame like a hotel TV. Yeah!
0:20:55 > 0:20:59Purple trousers! His PE shorts must have got lost, maybe. I don't know.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02In transit to Argentina, perhaps.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Jon now warms up for the Balls.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Check one, check two...oh...
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Check one Jon's not drowning in there.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13This is set to be a storming time, though,
0:21:13 > 0:21:16but Rock God Jon's gig has not finished just yet.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18Time for one last encore.
0:21:21 > 0:21:26Well, Rock God Jon comes in at one minute 47. That is rock 'n' roll.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30Yeah, rock 'n' roll!
0:21:30 > 0:21:34After that aural assault, it's time for someone a little more dainty.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37This is geography graduate Gemma from Wolverhampton.
0:21:37 > 0:21:41Not a bad time up to the Sucker Punch, and she's straight off.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Time for a field study, though.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44Crop rotation, probably.
0:21:44 > 0:21:49Big Red Balls, B plus for effort up that 40% incline.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52A big bounce. Well, done. A tummy splat onto ball two.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54That's what I call a water fall.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58You may think she made a mistake there, but she was actually trying to teach you
0:21:58 > 0:22:00a little something because look, from memory,
0:22:00 > 0:22:03she's created the whole of the African continent.
0:22:03 > 0:22:04I'll have to knock points off
0:22:04 > 0:22:07because she merged the Sahara with the tropical savannah,
0:22:07 > 0:22:10but, no matter, good effort. B minus, and Geo Gemma
0:22:10 > 0:22:14secures a place in the top 12 with a time of three minutes eight seconds.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Now there's nothing like a two horse race here on Total Wipeout.
0:22:17 > 0:22:22Here's Sarah, a saddler from Scunthorpe. She repairs tack and makes bridles.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24And there's a horseshoe in her pocket for luck.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27It caused havoc at airport security, believe me.
0:22:27 > 0:22:33She's head to head with a prancing stallion, Ali from London, who claims to be a hit with the ladies.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36Yo, listen up. They don't call me Turkish Ali for nothing.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39And for that reason, I'm going to show you why.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42Come on!
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Yeah, must be that gentlemanly eloquence
0:22:44 > 0:22:46that makes women go weak at the knees.
0:22:46 > 0:22:5033 to one on he clears the first fence.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52- Why?- Yeah, I don't know.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Well, you fell off, that's why, obviously.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Sarah, now, and it's a good beginning,
0:22:57 > 0:23:00a rubbish middle and a terrible end.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04Turns out an early refusal for Sarah there, but she is already
0:23:04 > 0:23:08several lengths ahead of the Turkish stallion, so she may have room.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12The Big Balls there. She's not spooked at them, that's good.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14She's going to tackle them. She's jumped.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16She's... Oh. Yeah, that's the water.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18She can't afford to spend too long in there
0:23:18 > 0:23:20because Ali will be catching up.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23Come on, Ali. Time to show the fillies what you're made of.
0:23:23 > 0:23:27Lead... And mud.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30Well, long faces all round in our two horse race then
0:23:30 > 0:23:32with two very slow times.
0:23:32 > 0:23:33Bad luck.
0:23:33 > 0:23:39- Why?- Colin's a driving examiner from Redditch, but will he pass the test?
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Do you see what I did there? Test? Yeah...
0:23:42 > 0:23:48I'm going to start this course in overdrive and I'll let you decide what gear I'm in when I've finished.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Straight out of the test centre and down the Walk Of Shame,
0:23:51 > 0:23:53first gear, second gear, third gear...
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Oh, missed a gear.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58Good strides, but then he makes one minor fault
0:23:58 > 0:24:02for failing to indicate before falling and, I'm sorry,
0:24:02 > 0:24:04I'm going to have to fail you for that.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Good speed on to the Sucker Punch.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09He is fast. Makes his move.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11Come on, Colin. Forward, forward a bit.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14You're all right, you're all right. Oh, he's through the Sucker Punch
0:24:14 > 0:24:16with no faults. That is impressive.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Up the hill and, oh, what's he doing?
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Oh, emergency stop. Right, holding it well.
0:24:21 > 0:24:22Now for the hill start. Here we go.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25Oh, good clutch control, like it. He's off again.
0:24:25 > 0:24:31Good bounce on the first ball, tummy on the second, and into the water.
0:24:31 > 0:24:35I'm afraid, Mr Hancock, you're not supposed to hit the water during a Big Ball manoeuvre.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Have to keep a note of that, just so you know.
0:24:38 > 0:24:43Colin heads for the rings, and for a man who spends most of his day
0:24:43 > 0:24:46on his bottom, this doesn't bode well.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49But, you never know, maybe he'll surprise us. Oh, not a bad start!
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Actually, maybe he really will surprise us. Whoa, this is...
0:24:52 > 0:24:57For the first time, somebody looks like they can actually do this.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59That's past halfway, now.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01The only one we've seen manage to get the swing right.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Just five or so more to the end.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05This could be a first!
0:25:05 > 0:25:10He's got further than anyone else on those rings. Come on, Colin.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Almost there. Just one more to go! Somebody might finally do it.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15And that is amazing!
0:25:15 > 0:25:19Unbelievable stamina and perfect technique.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21Colin now gets that promised cow.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Good luck getting it through Heathrow.
0:25:23 > 0:25:27Apart from a wonderfully respectable time of two minutes six seconds,
0:25:27 > 0:25:32we've finally found our Lord Of The Rings and his name is Colin.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36This is IT genius, Mubarak.
0:25:36 > 0:25:41He's had some of the country's biggest brains helping him calculate the best route around the course.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44The guys that I work with have kind of...
0:25:44 > 0:25:48kind of made some computational simulations of some of the obstacles.
0:25:48 > 0:25:55- So, what's the probability? - 95% chance that I will do it in sort of under a minute.
0:25:55 > 0:25:59I've got to take my hat off to this man, he is brimming with confidence.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01I've not seen that done before.
0:26:01 > 0:26:05All right, this is for all you IT geeks out there. This one's for you!
0:26:05 > 0:26:09Plus, we can solve any anti viral issues you may have.
0:26:09 > 0:26:14Mubarak's computer will keep us up to date with his 95% chance.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16Well, he's not that fast down the ramp.
0:26:16 > 0:26:20Considering his prediction, that is a rather cautious start.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22That's a very cautious start in fact.
0:26:22 > 0:26:26His prediction not looking good, dropping to 75%.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28He's going for the flat out approach.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Oh, he's starting to wobble. No matter.
0:26:30 > 0:26:35He's going to stand up though. No, no forward progress, just standing.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37Well, that percentage has crashed to 55 now.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39He's clinging on. Oh, system error!
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Gone for a swim. He has crashed.
0:26:42 > 0:26:47Hard reboot required. The chances of Mubarak completing the course
0:26:47 > 0:26:49in under a minute are -193%.
0:26:49 > 0:26:54He'll need to be quicker to avoid The Motivator. Come on.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57It's lurking. Question, did Mubarak factor
0:26:57 > 0:27:00The Motivator into his calculations?
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Answer, it doesn't look like it.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Brilliant, Mubarak's been well and truly motivated.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12Now, that's what I call a RAM.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15I can't believe it, The Motivator twice in one show.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18This is truly a cause for celebration.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21# Well, if I had a hammer
0:27:21 > 0:27:23# I'd hammer in the morning
0:27:23 > 0:27:26# I'd hammer in the evening
0:27:26 > 0:27:29# All over this land
0:27:29 > 0:27:31# I'd hammer at danger
0:27:31 > 0:27:34# I'd hammer out a warning
0:27:34 > 0:27:38# I'd hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters
0:27:39 > 0:27:41# All, all over this land. #
0:27:41 > 0:27:45Mubarak finishes with an impossibly slow six minutes and 26 seconds.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49Or in binary code that's 1001...
0:27:49 > 0:27:53Oh, forget it, I'm exhausted. One competitor still to come.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56I'm joined now at the top of The Qualifier by Shaun from Walsall
0:27:56 > 0:28:01who says he's a bit of a free spirit. So what is it that you do, Shaun?
0:28:01 > 0:28:05Well, I'm actually a spoken word artist, which means I paint pictures with words.
0:28:05 > 0:28:09Oh, go on, paint me a picture with a few words, then.
0:28:09 > 0:28:13OK, I have a little something. OK. Mother nature is a good cook.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16She often bakes her favourite cake called life.
0:28:16 > 0:28:20She has one single ingredient, it's called love.
0:28:20 > 0:28:23You should try it, it's really good.
0:28:23 > 0:28:26That's lovely, Shaun.
0:28:26 > 0:28:27What? It didn't even rhyme!
0:28:27 > 0:28:31After this, I'm going to have to get a lawyer because Total Wipeout's
0:28:31 > 0:28:34going to take me to court after the way I assault this assault course.
0:28:34 > 0:28:35Yeah, was that another poem
0:28:35 > 0:28:39or is the People's Poet just overconfident? Well, he's off.
0:28:39 > 0:28:40Oh, that is poetry in motion.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42I can't believe what I've just seen!
0:28:42 > 0:28:46Did anyone tell him there were gaps between the podiums?
0:28:46 > 0:28:48That was staggering.
0:28:49 > 0:28:51My thoughts exactly, Amanda.
0:28:51 > 0:28:55Oh, that'll teach him for being so good. On to the Sucker Punch.
0:28:55 > 0:28:58It doesn't seem to be troubling Super Shaun one bit.
0:28:58 > 0:29:03The only person who's fallen so far seems to be Amanda.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05Will he make it in one piece?
0:29:05 > 0:29:07No, still, a very controlled fall.
0:29:09 > 0:29:13Even in slow motion, Speedy Shaun oozes confidence here.
0:29:13 > 0:29:16This is a fast time already.
0:29:16 > 0:29:19Will he be the second man to make it across the Rings Of Fire?
0:29:19 > 0:29:22Can he finish in the style he started?
0:29:22 > 0:29:26Oh! Let's just pretend that didn't happen.
0:29:26 > 0:29:31It looked like he really got a rhythm going there, he just missed that third ring by centimetres.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33Very unlucky. Super Shaun finishes
0:29:33 > 0:29:37in the simply unbelievable time of one minute and eight seconds.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40Shaun becomes the fastest ever on The Qualifier.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43There's only one word to describe that...
0:29:43 > 0:29:46- Wow!- Wow!
0:29:46 > 0:29:48Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!
0:29:48 > 0:29:50Wow, wow, wow, wow!
0:29:50 > 0:29:51Enough.
0:29:51 > 0:29:52Wow!
0:29:52 > 0:29:54That was unbelievable.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57Well, what can I say, man? You'd better believe it.
0:29:57 > 0:30:00Yeah, I thought he would have said something more wowy.
0:30:00 > 0:30:02Well, let's see the final leaderboard.
0:30:02 > 0:30:06No shock that Speedy Shaun, rock god Jon and Chopper Brian dominate,
0:30:06 > 0:30:08followed by Dodgy Nick and Hill Start Colin.
0:30:08 > 0:30:13You have to get to eighth to find Holey Moley Alex, and Geo Gemma
0:30:13 > 0:30:16is the unlucky woman to end up between the two Hell's Angels.
0:30:16 > 0:30:20So, some have gone and some more remain.
0:30:20 > 0:30:24Well, 12. Obviously the rules quite clearly state that 12 remain.
0:30:24 > 0:30:27So it's time to wave a cheery goodbye to the eight losers.
0:30:27 > 0:30:30Bye bye, then. Bye bye.
0:30:31 > 0:30:37No-one waving back. That's quite rude, really, but, bye anyway.
0:30:37 > 0:30:43# I, I who have nothing
0:30:44 > 0:30:48# I, I who have no-one
0:30:51 > 0:30:57# Must watch you go dancing by
0:30:57 > 0:31:00# Wrapped in the arms of somebody else
0:31:00 > 0:31:04# When darling, it's I
0:31:04 > 0:31:08# Who loves you
0:31:08 > 0:31:11# I love you
0:31:11 > 0:31:14# I love you
0:31:17 > 0:31:25# I love you. #
0:31:45 > 0:31:49This is the biggest machinery arm thing moving around
0:31:49 > 0:31:52in an unstoppable circle in the obstacle world.
0:31:52 > 0:31:57It seeks to destroy anyone stupid enough to stand on a stick above a swimming pool.
0:31:57 > 0:32:01It is, of course, Crash Mountain and here's how it works.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04The remaining 12 contestants must race across a rotating bridge.
0:32:04 > 0:32:10The first six to reach the safe haven, that's the middle of it by the way, qualify for the next round.
0:32:10 > 0:32:13And did I forget to mention the sweeper arm
0:32:13 > 0:32:15going in the other direction?
0:32:15 > 0:32:19That makes the whole thing rather difficult, and funny!
0:32:19 > 0:32:21Here are the brave 12.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23HE SCREAMS
0:32:23 > 0:32:29On podiums one, two and three, it's Somersault Mel, Dodgy Nick...
0:32:29 > 0:32:32I'm going to use the sixth D of dodgeball, drowning!
0:32:32 > 0:32:34..and Speedy Shaun.
0:32:34 > 0:32:38If the mind can believe it, then reality can conceive it.
0:32:38 > 0:32:44That rhymed that time. On four, five and six, it's Hill Start Colin, Rock God Jon...
0:32:44 > 0:32:48These guys are stuck between the rock and a hard place.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50..and Chopper Brian.
0:32:50 > 0:32:54A man of few words. On seven, eight and nine are Angry Annette...
0:32:54 > 0:32:59Jennie, you're going to hup, two, three, four, down into that water.
0:32:59 > 0:33:03..noisy Natalie and Holey Moley Alex.
0:33:03 > 0:33:09- Jon, you may rock, but I go through rocks all the time and I'm going to go through this!- Yeah.
0:33:09 > 0:33:16And, finally, on ten, 11 and 12 are Geo Gemma, Joystick David and GI Jennie.
0:33:16 > 0:33:18I should have gone on Weakest Link.
0:33:20 > 0:33:2512 contestants, only six will go through to the Dreadmill.
0:33:27 > 0:33:31Here on Total Wipeout we like to build up our contestants only to knock them down again.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33It's Crash Mountain.
0:33:35 > 0:33:40Three, two, one! HORN BLASTS
0:33:40 > 0:33:43It begins, and Dodgy Nick's the first to go for it.
0:33:43 > 0:33:44Angry Annette has a go.
0:33:44 > 0:33:46Oh, she'll be livid with that!
0:33:46 > 0:33:48Holey Moley Alex fluffs it.
0:33:48 > 0:33:51Somersault Mel is on, ducking the sweeper beam.
0:33:51 > 0:33:55She's got to get to her feet for it to count, and, oh, no, she's gone the wrong way!
0:33:55 > 0:33:59Speedy Shaun quickly off.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02Timing is key on Crash Mountain and that's how not to do it.
0:34:02 > 0:34:06Rock God Jon just about gets a toe on. GI Jennie takes a hike.
0:34:06 > 0:34:09Hill Start Colin is off, too. Will anyone make it to the centre?
0:34:09 > 0:34:11Not Natalie.
0:34:12 > 0:34:13Not Brian either.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15Speedy Shaun's second attempt.
0:34:15 > 0:34:17Looking better, but he must get up.
0:34:17 > 0:34:18It's now or never.
0:34:18 > 0:34:22Oh, I guess it's never.
0:34:22 > 0:34:27Interesting fact, everything on Crash Mountain is quite a lot less padded than it looks.
0:34:27 > 0:34:31Dodgy Nick takes a flying leap into the water.
0:34:31 > 0:34:33Dental appointment required when he gets home.
0:34:33 > 0:34:35Geo Gemma has a go at last.
0:34:35 > 0:34:37She's up and running.
0:34:37 > 0:34:41Oh, no! She gets two hands on the centre but can't quite hold on.
0:34:41 > 0:34:46- Chopper Brian's on and he's up! That was very quick.- Brian!
0:34:46 > 0:34:49That is how to conquer Crash Mountain. The hero strikes again.
0:34:49 > 0:34:52Choose your moment, close your eyes and leg it.
0:34:52 > 0:34:54GI Jennie is on.
0:34:54 > 0:34:57Now she's off. It's a Crash Mountain battlefield,
0:34:57 > 0:35:00straight in the path of the rotating beam.
0:35:00 > 0:35:04It might just be Brian in the next round, then. Brian alone.
0:35:04 > 0:35:08Somersault Mel again. Can she put her gymnastic abilities to good use?
0:35:08 > 0:35:10Run, Mel, come on!
0:35:10 > 0:35:13That's a no. Oh, and her helmet's come off.
0:35:13 > 0:35:15Hats off for that performance.
0:35:15 > 0:35:19It gives you a teeny sense of just how fast the sweeper arm is moving.
0:35:19 > 0:35:22Her head wasn't still in it or anything, but it came off.
0:35:22 > 0:35:24It is also perhaps a useful reminder
0:35:24 > 0:35:27of why Crash Mountain has never appeared in the Olympics or Commonwealth Games.
0:35:27 > 0:35:31Somersault Mel is back on her podium. The action can start again.
0:35:31 > 0:35:32Speedy Shaun takes a turn.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35Waiting his moment.
0:35:35 > 0:35:36Oh, a quick duck, only just.
0:35:36 > 0:35:40And he's on! Four spaces left.
0:35:40 > 0:35:44Tiredness is setting in as Colin makes his bid for the centre.
0:35:44 > 0:35:51And he's done it, with a little help from Chopper Brian. He just can't help rescuing people, can he?
0:35:51 > 0:35:59Angry Annette next, come on, do the girls proud. It's not exactly a relaxing lie down. Oww!
0:36:02 > 0:36:04Or a relaxing swim.
0:36:06 > 0:36:09Come on now, Mel, make this count.
0:36:09 > 0:36:11Timing it.
0:36:11 > 0:36:13And she does make it count.
0:36:13 > 0:36:15She's there. She's the fourth one in.
0:36:15 > 0:36:21That makes Chopper Brian, Speedy Shaun, Hill Start Colin and Somersault Mel all home and dry.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24Two spots left. Will it be Holey Moley Alex, Geo Gemma,
0:36:24 > 0:36:31Noisy Natalie, Angry Annette, Dodgy Nick, Rock God Jon, GI Jennie or Joystick David?
0:36:31 > 0:36:36Geo Gemma is very good on soil erosion.
0:36:36 > 0:36:38- Just run! - Not so hot on Crash Mountain.
0:36:38 > 0:36:43Manages to hit every part of her body on the way down.
0:36:43 > 0:36:48That was thorough. Rock God Jon now who's rocking on, and staying on.
0:36:48 > 0:36:50He's up on his feet. Ooh, he's down again.
0:36:50 > 0:36:53But he's up again, and he's going for his solo.
0:36:53 > 0:36:57Grabbed on to the crossbar but he's made it. He's there.
0:36:57 > 0:37:01He's safe, but looked like that might have hurt!
0:37:01 > 0:37:04And, again, Chopper Brian does another mountain sea rescue.
0:37:04 > 0:37:06One more.
0:37:06 > 0:37:08Things are getting desperate.
0:37:08 > 0:37:12By things, I mean Annette. And here is Joystick David.
0:37:12 > 0:37:16Flat landing. He's up on his feet, he's running and he's on.
0:37:16 > 0:37:18That was quick and that completes the six.
0:37:18 > 0:37:22Not that Gemma cares, she just wants another go in the water.
0:37:22 > 0:37:25So it's six of one, half a dozen of the other, as in
0:37:25 > 0:37:29there are six winners and six losers, and I need a lie down after that.
0:37:33 > 0:37:38It's a sad moment, a moment of reflection, of sorrow and of tears.
0:37:38 > 0:37:40Not a time to mock and scorn.
0:37:40 > 0:37:45It is time to say goodbye to the six LOSERS!
0:37:45 > 0:37:48Sad, very sad.
0:37:54 > 0:37:57I don't know if I've done the British troops proud,
0:37:57 > 0:37:59but I've done myself proud, so...
0:38:00 > 0:38:03Really hard. There were a couple of different techniques.
0:38:03 > 0:38:06There was the jump and grab technique,
0:38:06 > 0:38:11or there was the run really hard, but neither seemed to work for me.
0:38:11 > 0:38:14Brian's going to make it through, and maybe Colin.
0:38:14 > 0:38:17I think he'll be the little sneaky surprise
0:38:17 > 0:38:18through to the Wipeout Zone.
0:38:18 > 0:38:21I could not get on to that pad at the end, I just ran for it,
0:38:21 > 0:38:24mistimed it, ended up in the water or just slipped off.
0:38:24 > 0:38:25I didn't even get hit by the bar.
0:38:25 > 0:38:27I wanted to at least go out spectacularly.
0:38:29 > 0:38:34I should have won it if I really wanted to substantiate dodgeball's claim to fame, kind of thing.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36This time I couldn't dodge the bullet. Ha-ha!
0:38:37 > 0:38:41At one point, I had a hand on the middle and then just that sweeper
0:38:41 > 0:38:47comes round so fast and my little legs can't make it to that middle.
0:38:47 > 0:38:49Hurray, that's another six gone.
0:38:49 > 0:38:53Sorry, that's sad. Another six are gone.
0:38:53 > 0:38:55But now it's time for the return of an old favourite.
0:38:55 > 0:38:59Oh, is it Dangermouse? No, no, of course, it's the Dreadmill.
0:39:10 > 0:39:16Back by unpopular demand for the first time this series, here's how the Dreadmill works.
0:39:17 > 0:39:23First, the Dreadmill moves. Contestants beware, it gets faster and faster.
0:39:23 > 0:39:26Then, hanging above each runner,
0:39:26 > 0:39:28a menacing wrecking ball will strike him down.
0:39:28 > 0:39:32The ball gets lower and lower with every swing.
0:39:32 > 0:39:35If they're knocked down and don't jump up again quickly enough,
0:39:35 > 0:39:37they're dumped in the pool of despair.
0:39:37 > 0:39:42The winner of each heat wins a place in the Wipeout Zone.
0:39:45 > 0:39:51So that's how the Dreadmill works, when it's working, which is roughly 60% of the time.
0:39:51 > 0:39:57Let's see how good the six remaining competitors are at running fast whilst dodging demolition balls.
0:39:57 > 0:40:02The names have been drawn at random from a random hat. So, randomly, who's first?
0:40:04 > 0:40:08Heat one is Hill Start Colin versus Somersault Mel.
0:40:08 > 0:40:11I hope that wrecking ball knocks Mel for six, so she doesn't know what's hit her
0:40:11 > 0:40:14and I'll just go in there and take the final from her.
0:40:14 > 0:40:17I'm the one used to doing somersaults, but today
0:40:17 > 0:40:20I'm going to see Colin fly off that treadmill and somersault at the end.
0:40:20 > 0:40:26One massive treadmill, two massiver balls, but there can only be three finalists.
0:40:26 > 0:40:31It's the Dreadmill and the first two to battle it out are Colin and Mel. Are you two ready?
0:40:34 > 0:40:36Three, two, one!
0:40:36 > 0:40:38It's time to start running.
0:40:38 > 0:40:40Mel and Colin both looking anxious.
0:40:40 > 0:40:45That's probably because the wrecking balls are about to start swinging.
0:40:45 > 0:40:47There they go. Look behind you.
0:40:47 > 0:40:52Mastering the combination of ducking whilst running is harder than you might think
0:40:52 > 0:40:55and, remember, those balls get lower and lower.
0:40:55 > 0:40:59And Colin's down, got to get up immediately or he'll be disqualified.
0:40:59 > 0:41:01Mel watches on hopefully.
0:41:01 > 0:41:04But Colin's scrambled up. And now he's down again.
0:41:04 > 0:41:07Come on, Colin, get up quickly. He's up.
0:41:07 > 0:41:10And down again. I can't keep up!
0:41:10 > 0:41:14And now Mel's down, but she rolls sideways. Oh, Colin's gone again.
0:41:14 > 0:41:19Mel's down again. Both of them manage to roll to safety and stay in the game.
0:41:19 > 0:41:24Mel goes once more, and she can't roll off this time and that's it, game over.
0:41:24 > 0:41:30Somersault Mel is eliminated while Hill Start Colin goes through to the Wipeout Zone.
0:41:30 > 0:41:33I lost count of how many falls happened there,
0:41:33 > 0:41:37but the one that mattered was Mel slipping into the pool of despair.
0:41:37 > 0:41:39That was literally nail-biting.
0:41:39 > 0:41:43Colin was down then he was up, then he was down. You were fine, then you were down.
0:41:43 > 0:41:45So, what happened at the very end?
0:41:45 > 0:41:47I don't know. I thought I was doing well and then I just
0:41:47 > 0:41:53lost it and tried to get back on, but obviously it was moving faster and it was pretty tough.
0:41:53 > 0:41:55It's Joystick David versus Rock God Jon.
0:41:55 > 0:41:59This is high-tech versus hi-fi.
0:41:59 > 0:42:02Am I going to get taken out by someone in leather trousers? No way!
0:42:02 > 0:42:07Sporting Billy here, Mr Runner, he's going to keep on running until it's over.
0:42:07 > 0:42:11This isn't a computer game any more, this is rock 'n' roll. I'm going to show him how it's done.
0:42:11 > 0:42:17I've got rock 'n' roll across the heart, and I'm going all the way to the Wipeout Zone. Oh, yeah.
0:42:17 > 0:42:19Three, two, one!
0:42:19 > 0:42:24Yeah, just as I feared, Jon's gone for tight rubber trousers. I think they're rubber.
0:42:24 > 0:42:29I'm not going to check. Surely not the wisest choice of legwear for outrunning giant wrecking balls.
0:42:29 > 0:42:33Though, in his defence, I've not seen a computer game with big black swinging wrecking balls,
0:42:33 > 0:42:36so they're both evenly matched.
0:42:36 > 0:42:39Treadmill speeding up, going faster and faster.
0:42:39 > 0:42:46All about keeping your eye on your own wrecking ball, not getting distracted by the other one.
0:42:46 > 0:42:48Oh, that was close.
0:42:48 > 0:42:51That did look close. Jon's been hit.
0:42:51 > 0:42:54Tries to get up, but no, no, he's into the pool. Out of the competition.
0:42:54 > 0:43:00It's all over for Rock God Jon, which means Joystick David qualifies for the Wipeout Zone.
0:43:00 > 0:43:02That is rock 'n' roll.
0:43:02 > 0:43:06Jon looked like he'd forgotten about the giant wrecking balls,
0:43:06 > 0:43:08maybe daydreaming about smashing up amplifiers.
0:43:08 > 0:43:14Who'd have thought it? Tight rubber trousers aren't conducive to competitive exercise after all.
0:43:14 > 0:43:19I'm not a natural sprinter. It just got a bit too fast for me, what can I say?
0:43:19 > 0:43:22I thought your spangly pants were going to save you.
0:43:22 > 0:43:24They're filled with water at the moment, so...
0:43:24 > 0:43:27The final Dreadmill is sure to be a real humdinger.
0:43:27 > 0:43:32The fastest ever qualifier, Speedy Shaun, against superfit Chopper Brian.
0:43:32 > 0:43:36Even if Superman was here, yeah, I'd find a way to beat him.
0:43:36 > 0:43:38And Brian's no Clark Kent.
0:43:38 > 0:43:42The guy's 15 years younger than me and has put the record time in, so,
0:43:42 > 0:43:45not the best draw I think, but we'll give it a go.
0:43:45 > 0:43:47Three, two, one.
0:43:47 > 0:43:51I don't think Chopper Brian should be worried about Shaun being younger
0:43:51 > 0:43:54than him, it's just whether or not he's faster than him. Let's see.
0:43:56 > 0:43:59So, the wrecking ball starts swinging.
0:43:59 > 0:44:01Getting faster all the time.
0:44:01 > 0:44:04Both Shaun and Brian are very tall, so this isn't going to be easy.
0:44:04 > 0:44:10Even harder for poet Shaun as the only thing that rhymes with balls is falls.
0:44:10 > 0:44:15Looking fairly steady. They're having to duck very low already.
0:44:15 > 0:44:21On the face of it both men super fit, both good runners, pretty equally matched.
0:44:21 > 0:44:24Shaun seems to be struggling the most.
0:44:24 > 0:44:25His balance is off with every swing.
0:44:25 > 0:44:27Oh, and Shaun is down.
0:44:27 > 0:44:30Slides to safety, but he needs to get back on the treadmill quickly.
0:44:30 > 0:44:34An excellent recovery from Shaun.
0:44:34 > 0:44:39The race is back on for that final place in the Wipeout Zone. Only one of these two going through.
0:44:39 > 0:44:43Brian looks comfortable, Shaun less so.
0:44:43 > 0:44:49A little stumble from Shaun again, while Brian still remaining calm.
0:44:49 > 0:44:53Shaun stumbles again, struggling to get back on. Now he's back off the other side.
0:44:55 > 0:44:56Ow!
0:44:56 > 0:44:58Shaun looks hurt now.
0:44:58 > 0:45:02Very hard to get back on a treadmill moving that quickly. Come on, Shaun.
0:45:02 > 0:45:05Attempts to get back on, another stumble.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08Oh, I think he's hurt again!
0:45:08 > 0:45:11Speedy Shaun needs to get back to his feet if he wants to stay in the game.
0:45:11 > 0:45:13He's down again!
0:45:13 > 0:45:17- This is unbelievable! Shaun, get up and stay up. - KLAXON SOUNDS
0:45:17 > 0:45:21And there goes the klaxon, which means it's all over for Speedy Shaun.
0:45:21 > 0:45:26It's a shame that Shaun had to go out like, but he was taking relentless punishment.
0:45:26 > 0:45:30Having been down so many times, he just couldn't get back to his feet quick enough.
0:45:30 > 0:45:34Meanwhile, Chopper Brian just kept on motoring - calm, fast and in control.
0:45:34 > 0:45:37Aw, man, come and talk to me.
0:45:37 > 0:45:38I'm really sorry, mate.
0:45:38 > 0:45:43Listen, you went from being the fastest person in The Qualifier ever to being out right now, because you
0:45:43 > 0:45:48hit the ground one too many times, I'm afraid, and you just didn't get up fast enough.
0:45:48 > 0:45:51I don't know what to say to that, I really don't.
0:45:51 > 0:45:57I imagine that it's tougher than it actually looks, I guess.
0:45:57 > 0:46:00That treadmill was really moving at some speed.
0:46:00 > 0:46:03What can I say? Take the rough with the smooth.
0:46:03 > 0:46:07So, Joystick Dave, Hill Start Colin and Chopper Brian are the talented
0:46:07 > 0:46:13individuals who've qualified for the Wipeout Zone, but they can't just go ahead and do it like that.
0:46:13 > 0:46:16Oh, no, there are all sorts of forms that need filling in and
0:46:16 > 0:46:21safety checks that someone will have to pretend they've done, plus there's that dead pigeon
0:46:21 > 0:46:23that needs to be fished out of the water filter, that's got to be done.
0:46:23 > 0:46:26So while all that's happening, here's a reminder of the heroic
0:46:26 > 0:46:30journey the three heroic heroes have heroically undertaken.
0:46:37 > 0:46:40I'm so proud to be right here right now.
0:46:40 > 0:46:45- It's been just so much tougher than I thought it was going to be. - I had an absolute nightmare.
0:46:45 > 0:46:51I fell off absolutely everything, so that probably makes me the worst finalist of all time.
0:46:53 > 0:46:57If I'm honest, I didn't even expect that I would be here at the final three.
0:46:57 > 0:46:59There's not a place on the world I'd rather be.
0:46:59 > 0:47:04Brian, the mountain rescue man, he climbs Snowdon and he flies helicopters.
0:47:04 > 0:47:07I've got to beat him in the final, how do you do that?
0:47:07 > 0:47:15Brian is... He's such a machine. I would be very overwhelmed if I could even get close to Brian's time.
0:47:15 > 0:47:17Colin, Colin, Colin!
0:47:17 > 0:47:21He was a legend, he was the only guy to get across those rings.
0:47:21 > 0:47:24Am I going to allow myself to be beaten by a 45-year-old?
0:47:28 > 0:47:32Ginger pride all the way tonight! Hopefully, it's going to do me good.
0:47:32 > 0:47:36I've had 38 years of ridicule for the colour of my hair so hopefully tonight it's going to do me proud.
0:47:36 > 0:47:41My seven-year-old twins, they've already given me advice, and it's managed to get me through to
0:47:41 > 0:47:47the final, so to win this evening it really just now sends shivers down my spine.
0:47:47 > 0:47:49It's every man for himself.
0:47:49 > 0:47:52It's the icing on the cake to be in the final.
0:47:52 > 0:47:54The cherry on top of the icing on top is that money.
0:47:54 > 0:47:59I'm still playing, and I can win that ten grand, and that would be lovely!
0:47:59 > 0:48:02I can't wait for the challenge. I'm up for it and I'm ready to go now.
0:48:09 > 0:48:15What grit, what determination, what people will do for a £10,000 prize!
0:48:15 > 0:48:20For Joystick Dave, Hill Start Colin and Chopper Brian, the final challenge awaits.
0:48:20 > 0:48:25They have no idea what they're about to face, unless by some miniscule chance they've seen
0:48:25 > 0:48:30either Series One, Series Two, the first six shows of this series or
0:48:30 > 0:48:35Hammond's Guide To The Wipeout Zone, available everywhere priced 19.99.
0:48:35 > 0:48:39Back to today, and the Wipeout Zone looks like this.
0:48:46 > 0:48:49David, Colin and Brian are ready for action.
0:48:49 > 0:48:52Behind them is the Wipeout Zone.
0:48:52 > 0:48:56Let me read from the script of my best-selling DVD.
0:48:56 > 0:49:00Killer Surf, the mother of all slides, it says.
0:49:00 > 0:49:04Rapid Climb, the mother of all tidal wave enhanced climbs, it says.
0:49:04 > 0:49:09The Balance Beam, the mother of all beams for balancing on.
0:49:09 > 0:49:13Crazy Sweeper, the mother of all sweepers that are crazy.
0:49:13 > 0:49:18Tarzan Swing, the loin cloth-wearing mother of all swings.
0:49:18 > 0:49:20Turntable...
0:49:20 > 0:49:22that's the mother of all turntables.
0:49:22 > 0:49:26And, finally, the clock-stopping button, the daddy of buttons.
0:49:26 > 0:49:28That's poetry!
0:49:28 > 0:49:33Three heroic men, Colin, David and Brian,
0:49:33 > 0:49:36about to face the greatest challenge of their lives, the Wipeout Zone.
0:49:36 > 0:49:40And the first to brave it tonight is David.
0:49:40 > 0:49:44The 36-year-old computer games marketing whizz has made it to the last level.
0:49:46 > 0:49:47Why am I doing this?
0:49:47 > 0:49:51OK, seemingly plagued by doubt, a brave David is off.
0:49:51 > 0:49:58He lands and it's a short swim to the Rapid Climb, then the ordeal really begins.
0:49:58 > 0:50:01No-one's staying dry tonight.
0:50:01 > 0:50:05David was seventh in The Qualifier, so not a bad place, as he battles
0:50:05 > 0:50:07a torrent of water up onto the Rapid Climb.
0:50:07 > 0:50:12Can he make it to the top before the tidal wave sends him
0:50:12 > 0:50:13back down to the bottom?
0:50:13 > 0:50:16He's up, and the ten second countdown begins.
0:50:16 > 0:50:18Come on, David, you've got to move.
0:50:18 > 0:50:20Making good progress. Will he?
0:50:20 > 0:50:22Will he beat it?
0:50:22 > 0:50:28Yes, he has, he's beaten it. David's time looking good as he steps gingerly out on to the Balance Beam.
0:50:28 > 0:50:32He was the last to get through on Crash Mountain, so he can't afford
0:50:32 > 0:50:35to waste time as perhaps he did back then.
0:50:35 > 0:50:38Ooh! A little wobble, but he's looking good.
0:50:38 > 0:50:39And he's across.
0:50:41 > 0:50:46Crazy Sweeper's next, it's all in the timing and the legs.
0:50:46 > 0:50:49David's got at least one of those two things, so he's in with a shout.
0:50:49 > 0:50:51He's off running and looking strong
0:50:51 > 0:50:54and he's onto the podiums in no time.
0:50:54 > 0:50:56He should comfortably make this.
0:50:56 > 0:50:59He's going to... Oh, no! Oh, the Hammond jinx strikes again.
0:50:59 > 0:51:02- What happened? - He said he didn't want to be beaten.
0:51:02 > 0:51:09He's got it all to do now. It's a swim and then the Tarzan Swing next.
0:51:09 > 0:51:12A good launch and high trajectory are essential here.
0:51:12 > 0:51:15He reckons he's one of the worst finalists
0:51:15 > 0:51:18of all time, and who am I to argue?
0:51:18 > 0:51:20I should stop saying anything!
0:51:20 > 0:51:25Fatigue must be setting in now as David watches those seconds tick away.
0:51:25 > 0:51:29Still, with just one obstacle to go, this is still looking like a pretty competitive time.
0:51:29 > 0:51:32We don't know what the others are going to do.
0:51:32 > 0:51:34The turntable will start as soon as he's on.
0:51:34 > 0:51:36He makes his final leap
0:51:36 > 0:51:40and David finishes in a very respectable 2:21.
0:51:40 > 0:51:46Slower times have won it before, so Colin and Brian can't afford to take it easy.
0:51:46 > 0:51:51A very neat run from Joystick David, bar one slip on the sweeper and a splash on the swing,
0:51:51 > 0:51:56that means he's right in there with a chance of walking away with the £10,000 prize.
0:51:56 > 0:52:00I tell you what, you had the best start to that course, but you've wavered just at the very end.
0:52:00 > 0:52:03- What happened?- I got to that last...
0:52:03 > 0:52:06Before the rope, got on to the platform and slipped, which
0:52:06 > 0:52:12was not the greatest, and then I was just getting tired,
0:52:12 > 0:52:17- so we'll see how it goes. - All right, well, David, you've been really, really confident all day.
0:52:17 > 0:52:23- Thank you.- And you've just done that in a really confident 2:21. - Yeah, it's all right.
0:52:23 > 0:52:28Aw, listen, it's an absolutely fantastic time and yours is the time to beat, and Colin's up next.
0:52:28 > 0:52:30- Come on, let's have a look.- Sweet.
0:52:30 > 0:52:33Forget three point turns, Hill Start Colin's going
0:52:33 > 0:52:37to need some pretty special manoeuvres to beat David's time. That was a good time.
0:52:39 > 0:52:43As the oldest competitor tonight, some people may have written Colin off.
0:52:43 > 0:52:45He doesn't know it yet, but he must complete the Wipeout Zone
0:52:45 > 0:52:49in less than 2:21 if he's going to win.
0:52:49 > 0:52:52That is an uphill struggle.
0:52:54 > 0:52:59Talking of uphill struggles, can Lord Of The Rings Colin become Lord Of The Uphill Climb?
0:53:01 > 0:53:02It's not easy.
0:53:02 > 0:53:04Uh-oh, here it comes.
0:53:04 > 0:53:07Three, two, one.
0:53:09 > 0:53:12Yeah, that was really close!
0:53:12 > 0:53:15Oh, by an inch.
0:53:15 > 0:53:16Come on.
0:53:16 > 0:53:19Colin on the Balance Beam now.
0:53:19 > 0:53:22Oh, he wobbles, but supports himself with the wall.
0:53:22 > 0:53:24This is slowing him up, though.
0:53:24 > 0:53:27He needs to keep moving. Safely across.
0:53:27 > 0:53:33He might be an examiner on the road, but Colin merely a learner when it comes to the Crazy Sweeper.
0:53:33 > 0:53:36Who isn't? Dodges the first approach, ducks under the next
0:53:36 > 0:53:37and now Colin's running.
0:53:37 > 0:53:42And crouching again. This is really slowing him down.
0:53:42 > 0:53:45But here comes his assault on the podiums.
0:53:45 > 0:53:51Quick, before the sweeper comes back round! Oh, this is turning into a very good run from Colin, steady.
0:53:51 > 0:53:55A nice, neat Tarzan Swing and he's sure to take the lead.
0:53:55 > 0:53:57Has he? He's on. He's stayed on.
0:53:57 > 0:53:59Just one jump to the finish now.
0:54:02 > 0:54:03He's there, just about,
0:54:03 > 0:54:08and Hill Start Colin motors into the lead with a time of 1:52.
0:54:08 > 0:54:14Not a single mistake. Much slower than David across the Crazy Sweeper, but faster across everything else.
0:54:14 > 0:54:16Really done his twins proud.
0:54:16 > 0:54:19Time for Amanda to give him the good news.
0:54:19 > 0:54:22Colin, my darling, come out and join me.
0:54:22 > 0:54:25How are you feeling, man?
0:54:25 > 0:54:27Absolutely whacked.
0:54:27 > 0:54:31- Yes.- Really whacked. - I'm not surprised. That was a fantastic performance from you.
0:54:31 > 0:54:34I surprised myself, if I'm honest, Amanda!
0:54:34 > 0:54:39David was absolutely brilliant out here tonight, Colin, but you have mirror, signal and manoeuvred
0:54:39 > 0:54:44your way in with a chance to be the Total Wipeout champion, because you were faster than David.
0:54:44 > 0:54:48David, man, I'm sorry. All right, hard luck.
0:54:48 > 0:54:50Colin, you know what this means.
0:54:50 > 0:54:54- Yeah, well...- You had an incredibly impressive time,
0:54:54 > 0:54:57so yours is now the time to beat, and the last
0:54:57 > 0:54:59person to go tonight is Brian, and he's good.
0:54:59 > 0:55:02If he beats me tonight, he'll be a worthy winner.
0:55:02 > 0:55:04All right, well, let's just how worthy he is.
0:55:04 > 0:55:08Can the real-life hero Chopper Brian pull it off? Colin must be worried.
0:55:10 > 0:55:12Ginger pride, let's get it done!
0:55:12 > 0:55:17The helicopter rescue pilot starts his maiden flight down Killer Surf.
0:55:19 > 0:55:20Not the best landing, though.
0:55:20 > 0:55:26But now Brian faces an entirely unfamiliar kind of ascent, it's the Rapid Climb.
0:55:29 > 0:55:34Hauls himself up onto the ramp and the countdown begins.
0:55:34 > 0:55:38Ten seconds to splashdown.
0:55:39 > 0:55:41Brian has outrun the tidal wave.
0:55:41 > 0:55:43Colin looks worried.
0:55:43 > 0:55:45This is a quick start.
0:55:45 > 0:55:47On to the Balance Beam now.
0:55:47 > 0:55:51Brian using the wall there and making quick progress. This is fast.
0:55:51 > 0:55:56Crazy Sweeper. Brian waits for it to pass, then waits some more.
0:55:56 > 0:56:00Don't go any closer! Oh, he's going backwards.
0:56:00 > 0:56:01He's down!
0:56:01 > 0:56:05Oh, he's done the one thing he couldn't afford to do.
0:56:05 > 0:56:07- He's made a mistake. - What did he do that for?
0:56:07 > 0:56:10I don't think it was deliberate, Colin, I really don't.
0:56:10 > 0:56:13Brian gets his measurements wrong and finds himself
0:56:13 > 0:56:19directly in the path of the sweeper, and it's downhill and backwards from there. After that big delay
0:56:19 > 0:56:22it's a climb to the Tarzan Swing for Brian.
0:56:22 > 0:56:24He's got a very big mountain to climb now.
0:56:26 > 0:56:30Oh, he's handing the lead and the £10,000 to Colin.
0:56:30 > 0:56:34It's all over for Brian now.
0:56:35 > 0:56:37And, oh, no!
0:56:37 > 0:56:40It does seem as though he already knows it's not a very good time.
0:56:40 > 0:56:43No, this can't be happening!
0:56:43 > 0:56:44I'm as amazed as you are, Colin.
0:56:44 > 0:56:47Brian gets his coordinates wrong and hits the side
0:56:47 > 0:56:51of the turntable, and it's crash land into the water.
0:56:51 > 0:56:54He leaps to the finish post, a time of 2:29,
0:56:54 > 0:56:58which is respectable, but not enough to win.
0:56:58 > 0:57:01A promising start by Brian was undone by his premature fall
0:57:01 > 0:57:05on the Crazy Sweeper and an off flight-path Tarzan Swing.
0:57:05 > 0:57:08Brian doesn't know how he's done yet, so it's over to Amanda
0:57:08 > 0:57:10to give him the bad news.
0:57:12 > 0:57:16Oh, my goodness, talk to me, talk to me, Brian.
0:57:16 > 0:57:19- Are you all right? - I sort of messed that up.
0:57:19 > 0:57:23I was trying to time it and it just got
0:57:23 > 0:57:25the better of me.
0:57:25 > 0:57:28Well, Brian, regardless of that, you were absolutely fantastic tonight.
0:57:28 > 0:57:33You have been the one to beat all day. Colin, you've been doing this tonight, today,
0:57:33 > 0:57:39for your twins and you can go home a proud man because you are the Total Wipeout champion tonight, Colin!
0:57:39 > 0:57:44CHEERING
0:57:44 > 0:57:51And so, Colin Hancock, the driving instructor from Redditch, is tonight's Total Wipeout champion.
0:57:51 > 0:57:58Colin receives that shiny trophy as well as a £10,000 prize, and he'll also be back with Brian and David
0:57:58 > 0:58:04to compete with the other finalists in the end-of-series final, because it's finally here, it's the final.
0:58:04 > 0:58:06It's not the end, it's just the final.
0:58:06 > 0:58:10Did I use the word final too many times in that? OK.
0:58:14 > 0:58:20The Total Wipeout masters and their apprentices return to Argentina for the mother of all battles.
0:58:20 > 0:58:24There can be only one Champion of champions, finally,
0:58:24 > 0:58:27it's the final, and that's final.
0:58:32 > 0:58:37Oh, yes! That promises to be one big slice of action pie,
0:58:37 > 0:58:40but for now, from Amanda and me, it's goodnight.
0:58:45 > 0:58:48Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:58:48 > 0:58:52E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk