0:00:02 > 0:00:03Ladies and gentlemen,
0:00:03 > 0:00:06introducing the first ever international Total Wipeout.
0:00:07 > 0:00:11They journeyed from afar, drawn by the distant battle cry.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13And a little ad in local newspapers.
0:00:13 > 0:00:17A team of valiant Brits, including a Morris dancer and a dentist,
0:00:17 > 0:00:19will battle the rest of the world,
0:00:19 > 0:00:24including a kebab shop owner and a belly dancer.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26They've all travelled to Argentina,
0:00:26 > 0:00:29home to the most thrilling assault course known to man.
0:00:29 > 0:00:34National pride is at stake, as well as £10,000 in the local currency.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37For Queen and country, let the games begin.
0:00:39 > 0:00:46Welcome to a special edition of Total Wipeout, and this time it actually is a special edition.
0:00:46 > 0:00:51Tonight, a team of the UK's finest face a rest of the world team,
0:00:51 > 0:00:55but only one individual can win the £10,000 prize and be crowned
0:00:55 > 0:01:02Total Wipeout's first, internationally world global champion UK division version one.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04That title needs some work.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07Time to meet the teams and the obstacles which await them,
0:01:07 > 0:01:11and, can I just say, I will be sticking to the strict BBC guidelines
0:01:11 > 0:01:14on impartiality throughout today's proceedings.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Go Team GB.
0:01:16 > 0:01:21The UK team - eight proud, ordinary Brits, led by a Wipeout legend.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25There'll be celebrations in every front room of our country tonight
0:01:25 > 0:01:27when Great Britain wins Total Wipeout.
0:01:27 > 0:01:32The Rest of the World - hungry, eager, captained by another Wipeout master.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34I'm not going to let my country down,
0:01:34 > 0:01:36I'm not going to let my team down.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39I feel it on my shoulders, and I think I'm big enough.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42This is going to be epic, and funny.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51# When two tribes go to war
0:01:51 > 0:01:54# A point is all that you can score. #
0:01:54 > 0:01:58The challenges may be different, but the course is exactly the same.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00The Qualifier - gruelling.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04Crash Mountain - arduous and gruelling.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08Dizzy dummies - arduous, gruelling and punishing.
0:02:08 > 0:02:16And the Wipeout Zone - punishing, gruelling, arduous, punishing, arduous, gruelling, and punishing.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18The traditional British champagne is on ice,
0:02:18 > 0:02:21I've got a classic British curry in the microwave,
0:02:21 > 0:02:25and what could be more patriotic than this British bulldog?
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Which is made in China.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Time to hand over to the lovely Amanda Byram,
0:02:30 > 0:02:32who's with the first GB contender.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34- PING! - Oh! Curry's ready.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43Meet Peter. Like many a great British warrior of old,
0:02:43 > 0:02:47Peter's a 44-year-old solicitor from Norwich.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51And I don't think that's his real hair. Oh, it is.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55Peter, how excited are you to be representing Great Britain here today?
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Absolutely excited to be here, Amanda.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01I've represented Great Britain before when I played the drums
0:03:01 > 0:03:03for the National Youth Brass Band of Great Britain.
0:03:06 > 0:03:11Have you been bish, bash, boshing your way through your fitness regime at home in preparation for this?
0:03:11 > 0:03:16- I did some running, then I took up darts to help my wrists.- Oh.
0:03:18 > 0:03:25Get one for the boys. I'll cross! For revenge, for 1066.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27What was all that about?
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Anyway, he's off, no matter, Great Britain's first challenger sets off.
0:03:30 > 0:03:35Bit of running and one game of darts should stand him in excellent stead for the Qualifier.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Just look how he's hurtling up and on to the pontoons.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39He's hurtling, he's up.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41This is going to be good.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43The eyes of the world are watching,
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Team GB better come out all guns blazing.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Peter's just getting warmed up.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Here we go, the Traplonks.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53And he's fallen in.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Any bounce afforded by the plank there
0:03:58 > 0:04:00immediately dissipated by Peter's wobbly legs.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06Never mind, I still think Peter has got what it takes.
0:04:06 > 0:04:07Oh.
0:04:08 > 0:04:13Let's hope the Sucker Punch doesn't deliver its own 1066,
0:04:13 > 0:04:14the Battle of Pastings.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Oh, come on, Peter!
0:04:21 > 0:04:22Come on!
0:04:22 > 0:04:25My belief in Peter is starting to waver, if I'm honest.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Is this definitely the best Britain could field?
0:04:29 > 0:04:31OK, Peter of Hastings,
0:04:31 > 0:04:36make up for lost time with a powerful run on the... Balls.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39The swinging letter of SH. A final chance for Peter.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Oh dear, he's... Yeah.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52He's let himself down there, very quickly.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54So, as Peter of Hastings drags himself up the stairs,
0:04:54 > 0:04:57he may well have beaten by the Qualifier,
0:04:57 > 0:05:00but he can still hold his head up high, four minutes 44.
0:05:00 > 0:05:01- Yes!- Yes.
0:05:03 > 0:05:04Go Team GB?
0:05:04 > 0:05:08Quick, we need another Brit, but this time make it somebody good.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13That's more like it!
0:05:13 > 0:05:16This man has the distinct air of a martial-arts expert.
0:05:16 > 0:05:21Yes, this is Kirpal from Stratford- upon-Avon, and he knows karate.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Oh. I always thought that grass was real.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28Traplonks, take one. Ow!
0:05:31 > 0:05:34# All I want for Christmas is my two front... #
0:05:34 > 0:05:35Oh! He may need some dental work.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38# My two front teeth. #
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Come on, now, make Mr Miyagi proud.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Ow! Oh!
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Oh!
0:05:47 > 0:05:48Let's extract the positives -
0:05:48 > 0:05:51he is the first today to touch the trapeze, yeah.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Come on, Kirpal, for England,
0:05:53 > 0:05:57Harry, and William, and Charles, and Eugenie, and...
0:05:57 > 0:05:59hang on, he's off. He's still on it.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Ball two. Onto the...
0:06:02 > 0:06:06Sorry, Kirpal, I spoke too soon.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09What's he doing now? That's sacrilege.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12The Union Jack, taken off and carelessly tossed aside.
0:06:12 > 0:06:16The swinging letters then, here we go.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Hang tight, hang tight...
0:06:18 > 0:06:19Ker-pow!
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Yeah, Ker-pow Kirpal reaches the finish,
0:06:24 > 0:06:27and look, I think his teeth are still intact... Oh.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30# ..Christmas is my two front teeth... #
0:06:31 > 0:06:34It's like the World Cup all over again come,
0:06:34 > 0:06:36and I'm not talking about 1966,
0:06:36 > 0:06:40I mean all the ones we did badly in, which is all the others.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43It's time now for the rest of the world to show us what they can do,
0:06:43 > 0:06:45and which nation is going to step up
0:06:45 > 0:06:48and kick that metaphorical penalty of embarrassment?
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Three words - Germany...
0:06:52 > 0:06:54..is next.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Covered that one nicely.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01This is 30 year-old assistant retail manager, Ralf.
0:07:01 > 0:07:06He lives in York, but hails from Germany, and he's got co-ordination.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08And he's got to stop dancing like that.
0:07:08 > 0:07:09Guten tag, Ralf.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- Schonen tag, Amanda.- What?
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Hi, Amanda.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Now, Ralf, I hate to buy into stereotypes,
0:07:15 > 0:07:17but have you been out here since 6am this morning
0:07:17 > 0:07:20putting your towel down at the end of the Qualifier?
0:07:20 > 0:07:23To be fair, I was actually awake at 5:45am, just to make sure.
0:07:24 > 0:07:29I might be amongst the best, but efficiency will beat the rest!
0:07:29 > 0:07:31OK! So, Ralf thinks he's amongst the best?
0:07:31 > 0:07:35Well, he's certainly top three at the moment - he's the third one out.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Looking good so far. How will he fare on the Traplonks?
0:07:37 > 0:07:40Well, he's up, running across the podium.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44Here we go, composes himself for the first Traplonk.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48Yes, and misses the trapeze just like everyone else.
0:07:48 > 0:07:49That wasn't very efficient, was it?
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Has Ralf learned from his mistake?
0:07:54 > 0:07:56Oh, he has!
0:07:56 > 0:07:58- Yes!- Wunderbar!
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Some German, there, trying to bamboozle the Balls, I think.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04The music soaring, and so's Ralf.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Oh, show-off!
0:08:06 > 0:08:09I'm not sure that was efficient use of momentum.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12But then I'm not really sure what momentum is either,
0:08:12 > 0:08:14so let's just say he fell off.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19This is looking very good for the rest of the world.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Can he get over unbumped? Oh, amazing!
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Oh, not amazing.
0:08:29 > 0:08:35Ralf's flash of genius in jumping the S has been undone by falling off the H. Entertaining, though.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43Well done, precision Ralf, that's a wunderbar time.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45- Why did you make me do this? - I didn't.
0:08:46 > 0:08:51I don't know why you're all looking at me strangely, I am one ninth German, you know.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54The von Hammondstein's owned a sausage emporium in Valkenburg.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57So, three contestants down, 15 to go.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Why only 18 in total?
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Don't ask me, how would I know?
0:09:02 > 0:09:07I'm just sat on this school wearing a Bavarian hunting hat and holding a sausage.
0:09:07 > 0:09:08Oh, Hammond, look at you.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Where did it all go so wrong?
0:09:12 > 0:09:17Boerevors, koeksisters. In your face!
0:09:18 > 0:09:20MUSIC PLAYS
0:09:20 > 0:09:21Why, what's going on?
0:09:21 > 0:09:25The vuvuzela didn't sound like that in the World Cup, did it?
0:09:25 > 0:09:27She's good.
0:09:27 > 0:09:28VUVUZELA SOUNDS
0:09:28 > 0:09:32Oh, no, there we go, same dreary racket as always.
0:09:32 > 0:09:38This is 34 year-old Chantelle from South Africa, via Colliers Wood.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41She's up and racing towards the Traplonks. Here we go.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Still tricky. As a keen surfer,
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Chantelle's faced a few sharks in her time,
0:09:46 > 0:09:50but the big red Balls, they're a whole different kettle of fish.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54Or are sharks mammals? I don't know. Anyway.
0:09:54 > 0:09:58Beautiful sound, OK. Got her in mood, here she goes.
0:09:58 > 0:10:021, 2... none.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06Had a lucky bounce off Ball number two there for Chantelle. Oh, dear.
0:10:09 > 0:10:15Still, sharky Chantelle reaches the finish in an impressive two minutes and seven seconds.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23Next, it's 28 year-old Cam from...
0:10:23 > 0:10:26Where's she from now?
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Give us a clue? Still not getting it.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Play me her national anthem.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32# Too many broken hearts... #
0:10:32 > 0:10:36Oh, Australia! Got it. Stirring anthem, love this.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Yeah, moving, oh, yeah.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Cammy, I'm already worried for you,
0:10:40 > 0:10:42because you're a little bit eeny weeny,
0:10:42 > 0:10:44and that out there is particularly massive.
0:10:44 > 0:10:48Yes, I'm only five foot, but I'm born-and-bred as an Aussie,
0:10:48 > 0:10:50so I'm going to prove to everybody
0:10:50 > 0:10:53that I can be as good as all the Aussies.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57OK, Cammy, who now lives in London, is bounding towards the Traplonks.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Will she... no, she won't,
0:10:59 > 0:11:03that trapeze is definitely just too far away today.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07For a small lady, she performs quite a jump, but it just wasn't enough.
0:11:07 > 0:11:08# ..Land down under... #
0:11:10 > 0:11:14The swinging letters of SH, no one's managed them today.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20Will she? Come on, Cam, here we go, makes a run for it.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24That was spectacular!
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Cam slips, sits, spins,
0:11:26 > 0:11:30and takes the full force of the S to the back of the head.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33But rising from the ashes - which we own - Cam-Geroo bounces back
0:11:33 > 0:11:37and reaches the finish line in three minutes and 14 seconds.
0:11:37 > 0:11:42I'm joined now at the top of the course by a man called Mani, and Mani is a man from Bolivia.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45What have you got in your Bolivian tank, Mani?
0:11:45 > 0:11:50In Bolivia, we've the Bolivian Tinku warrior dance,
0:11:50 > 0:11:54and it's a very fierce dance, and you should be scared.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03And there you go. And...
0:12:06 > 0:12:08..there you go, that will scare anybody, I think.
0:12:08 > 0:12:14Well, to be honest, the shorts are scarier than the dance. They are.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18Tinku Mani, looking serious now as he approaches the Traplonks,
0:12:18 > 0:12:19and with good reason.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22So far today, Peter has failed, Kirpal has failed,
0:12:22 > 0:12:27Chantelle has failed, Cam has failed, and Ralf failed.
0:12:27 > 0:12:28A pattern is emerging here.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Here's Mani... Oh, and he succeeds!
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Oh... well, sort of.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40He so nearly landed it as well.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Never mind, he's out of the water.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Mani now lives in Milton Keynes,
0:12:44 > 0:12:47where they do that dance all the time, apparently.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Will it help him across the swinging letters, though?
0:12:51 > 0:12:55He makes a run for it, oh!
0:12:55 > 0:12:57And he's still on.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01Go, go, go! No!
0:13:04 > 0:13:09Mani sped past the H, but didn't account for conditions underfoot.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13You've to actually stop on the finish podium for it to count,
0:13:13 > 0:13:15so Mani's clock is still ticking.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17But he makes it, and that was a run to remember.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19This is for you, Chiquita.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21What on earth was that?!
0:13:22 > 0:13:27My idea of going cautious when I should...
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Was all out of my head.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Well, after that startling performance,
0:13:31 > 0:13:33the leaderboard looks like this.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Precision Ralf takes precisely first,
0:13:35 > 0:13:37while sharky Chantelle claims second.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41Tinku Mani's in third, and Camgaroo is in fourth.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Then finally we get to the Brits.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47Ker-pow Kirpal's in joint fourth, and Peter of Hastings is sixth.
0:13:48 > 0:13:53Well, I won't lie, things aren't looking good for the UK, but that could all change,
0:13:53 > 0:13:58because I've had a tip-off that Team GB has a competitor they can pin their hopes on.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02Apparently she's deadly with a pair of Union Jack hankies...
0:14:07 > 0:14:09And she's a Morris dancer...
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Sorry, I'll start again.
0:14:17 > 0:14:22Now I've seen a lot of contestants in my time, but I've got a good feeling about this one.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26So much so that I've had 5,000 of these exquisite keepsakes
0:14:26 > 0:14:28made at great personal expense.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Something to look forward to.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32In the meantime, who's next?
0:14:32 > 0:14:37Sometimes, just sometimes on Total Wipeout, contestants can get a little bit over-excited,
0:14:37 > 0:14:40but I'm sure that's not the case for our next contestant,
0:14:40 > 0:14:44and that's Shelley from London, who's a part-time model/student.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Shelley, how are you doing?
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Little bit ooh, little bit wey, in the middle there.
0:14:48 > 0:14:52I just feel a bit like I just want to get on there, just want to do it.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54She's full of beans.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59And bog water. Witness the wetness.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Little bit ooh, little bit wey. In the middle.
0:15:01 > 0:15:06I couldn't describe it better myself, to be honest, that's pretty much exactly what it was.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10Shelley's approaching the Big Balls.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12Uh-oh! Ooh! Close call!
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Wet call!
0:15:15 > 0:15:20Motivatorcam shows just how close Shelley was to getting punted from behind.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23A fright like that will probably leave her a little Shelley-shocked.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Sorry! The final obstacle, then...
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Oh! She's in...
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Bedraggled and bewettened,
0:15:33 > 0:15:37A Little Bit Shelley drags herself across the finish line.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39- I just did it!- You did!
0:15:39 > 0:15:41# America! #
0:15:41 > 0:15:44This is 31-year-old David.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48You reckon you're a guy with a particularly gung-ho attitude, then?
0:15:48 > 0:15:53Absolutely, I've been told many times that I lack a filter between my brain and my mouth.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55# America! #
0:15:55 > 0:15:59- So, if I think it, I usually say it. - What are you thinking right now?
0:15:59 > 0:16:04I'm just going to use all my weight, and my momentum going forward, to carry me through to the end.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08In 1776, America won its independence.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Today, America's going to win again!
0:16:11 > 0:16:13This is for everybody who plays American football!
0:16:13 > 0:16:17Because you Brits don't know what real football is!
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Oh, my God, like, gnarly?
0:16:19 > 0:16:22David's skating on thin ice with that football jibe.
0:16:22 > 0:16:26Well, it would have to be quite thick ice, actually, obviously.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29He's in... Yes! Well, he floats, that's good.
0:16:29 > 0:16:34David using all his momentum there - to stay in the water. No, he's up.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36And on the pontoons, and running.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Is he wearing tights? Yeah, he is.
0:16:39 > 0:16:45- Oh!- Getting a bit of a rough ride on the Pontoons, but to be fair,
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Team GB needs all the help it can get tonight!
0:16:48 > 0:16:49Ha-ha!
0:16:52 > 0:16:56OK, he's up again. Yankee-doodle David now, to the Traplonks.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00David was born and raised in Tennessee, but now lives in Hampshire. Here we go.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05- Agh!- Now he's in the water.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09David' no stranger to the rough and tumble of American football,
0:17:09 > 0:17:11so he should take this in his stride.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Oh! I'd have thought he could take a punch?
0:17:13 > 0:17:18# I'm the kid that eats the candy, yankee doodle dandy
0:17:18 > 0:17:22# Now I've landed in the mud and boy I'm feeling angry... #
0:17:22 > 0:17:26Now, here's a contestant, heading up today's Team GB.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30It's the return of the one, the only, Olympic Les.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34He's my hero, and I hope he's yours, too. It is Olympic Les.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36- Hi, Les!- Great to be back, Amanda.
0:17:36 > 0:17:41You may remember Olympic Les from such programmes as Total Wipeout
0:17:41 > 0:17:45Series 2, Episode 4, where he didn't win.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48- Ah, happy memories. - I only popped out for a paper!
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Tell me how you feel about your team today.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55They're as keen as mustard. If not, I'll make sure they are.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58- I've got a wonderful team talk lined up for them.- Give me your team prep.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01You've come all the way out here today, we're relying on you.
0:18:01 > 0:18:02You're running for your country,
0:18:02 > 0:18:05what more do you want to motivate you? I'm relying on you.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Don't forget, losers don't get on in this world,
0:18:08 > 0:18:09and we're not losers, we're British,
0:18:09 > 0:18:12and we're going to win, and we're going to give it hell. Ready?
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Wow! I feel well and truly pepped.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16I just need something to do.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Come on, Les, do Britain proud.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Just look at that starting position.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23He looks professional and everything. And he's off!
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Oh, no, he's done it again.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29But it takes more than that to keep Les down.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33Top of the leaderboard at the moment is Precisional Ralf, with 1:53,
0:18:33 > 0:18:35that's what Les should be aiming for.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39It's a cautious start over the pontoons,
0:18:39 > 0:18:41just getting into his stride, onto Traplonk One.
0:18:41 > 0:18:42Here we go...
0:18:42 > 0:18:47Yes, done! Traplonk Two now...
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Yes, done! Oh, undone.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Quick sit down...
0:18:54 > 0:18:57And a drop. Meant that.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00On to the Big Balls now. He might be 55, but look at Les go.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03There is steely determination in those eyes. Go!
0:19:03 > 0:19:06Go! Oh! Unlucky bounce - backwards.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10And he pushes on. He's not going to beat Ralf's time,
0:19:10 > 0:19:11but this is looking good.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14Slow start, but he's still on. The Letters seem to have slowed...
0:19:14 > 0:19:19They've stopped, they've... Oh, and he opts for the swim. He chose that.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Olympic Les has done Britain proud.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23That's the fastest home-grown time today.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25Can I do it again, that was terrible?
0:19:25 > 0:19:27No, it wasn't, it was quite good.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Right, back to David, and it's this kind of pace and energy
0:19:29 > 0:19:32that makes American football so dynamic and exciting.
0:19:32 > 0:19:37# What a drag it is, the shape I'm in... #
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Watch out, David. You see?
0:19:39 > 0:19:40That's motivation.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43Does work.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44Oh, my God.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48His life jacket's eating him! Agh!
0:19:48 > 0:19:52# All my life, watching America
0:19:54 > 0:19:57# All my life, there's panic in America... #
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Just one obstacle to go now, not that David can see it.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Where's his head gone? He's lost his head!
0:20:09 > 0:20:11- There it is.- Grown another?
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Grew a fresh one, like lizards and tails. Come on, now, David.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17He's like a coiled spring.
0:20:17 > 0:20:18Go, David, go!
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Yea... Oh. Ooh. Oh, dear.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26# America! #
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Er, it's gone again. Head's gone.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Yeah, completely gone.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35With the clock still ticking,
0:20:35 > 0:20:37a headless David inches towards the finish line.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Will the stairs be the final straw?
0:20:39 > 0:20:44- No, Yankee Doodle David's slow but he finished.- Am I done?
0:20:44 > 0:20:47Yeah, well and truly done.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49- That's really hard. - Yeah, it is, supposed to be.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53This is 26-year-old Northern Irish art teacher Kelly.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55This is Turkish belly dancer Seyda.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00And this is Polish combat instructor Anna.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04What could possibly link these three ladies, Irish, Turkish and Polish?
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Yes, they all have ish in their name.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- About ye?- What's the craic?
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Luck of the Irish be with you?
0:21:11 > 0:21:13- You have to kiss that.- What's that?
0:21:13 > 0:21:15That's the luck of the Irish, the Blarney stone, so...
0:21:15 > 0:21:18It's just something you found in your pocket!
0:21:18 > 0:21:20- Diddle-ee-i-di-i, potato... - Oh, no, don't go there!
0:21:22 > 0:21:26Will that luck hold out on the Balls?
0:21:26 > 0:21:27Oh, no!
0:21:27 > 0:21:32In fact, that's quite unlucky. Oh!
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Goes down like a sack of potatoes!
0:21:34 > 0:21:39Got that shouldn't be laughing feeling but can't stop? You know the one!
0:21:44 > 0:21:47I'm a Turkish woman, we are sexy,
0:21:47 > 0:21:49and I'm going to show you what I can do!
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Well, go on, then.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57To be fair, pretty much everyone else has done that as well.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59Ooh. She's an angry young lady.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Ooh, close shave!
0:22:04 > 0:22:05Just skimmed the bottom there.
0:22:12 > 0:22:18Kelly-Ish on the Letters now. Oh, spectacular, well done.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Very, very good. Yeah.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Ooh. Probably hurt, quite a lot.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Folded up! Seyda on the ladders now.
0:22:26 > 0:22:30Oh, my lord, I've just seen some Turkish delight.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33Yeah, that's an outfit made for dancing, not swimming.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37OK, Seyda, on the Letters.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Ooh, bit of bother on the S.
0:22:41 > 0:22:42Oh!
0:22:46 > 0:22:49Anna-Ish now.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Crikey!
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Proper old school wallop in the middle.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Are we feeling a little bit cheeky?
0:22:59 > 0:23:02First to finish in the battle of Ish is Anna.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07Followed by Kelly.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11And bringing up the, er, rear is Seyda.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Upon the top, get up on the top.
0:23:18 > 0:23:22I think the whole nation saw a sexy bit of Seyda.
0:23:23 > 0:23:27After all that Ish, here's how the leaderboard looks.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31Precision Ralf still in first, but Olympic Les is a new entry at three.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Pushing Tinku Mani into fourth.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38Anna-Ish takes seventh, while A Little Bit Shelley in is ninth.
0:23:39 > 0:23:43Propping up the table in last place is Yankee Doodle David.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46It's a Total Wipeout first, a man in a kilt
0:23:46 > 0:23:49. This could be interesting. I'm not sure.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Great Britain versus the rest of the world,
0:23:51 > 0:23:53I'm going to do Scotland proud!
0:23:53 > 0:23:56He means Team GB, obviously.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58That's ill-advised in a kilt.
0:23:58 > 0:24:03His name's Roy and he's from Scotland. Time for a Highland fling.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Right, on to the first Traplonk... Ooh, fling-flong - I think.
0:24:06 > 0:24:11Yes, on to the second set. He's throwing himself into this.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Oh, got a bit of water under the kilt there.
0:24:14 > 0:24:19Devil in a skirt versus Sucker Punch.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Ooh- ya, right in the sporran!
0:24:26 > 0:24:29That's what they're for, I did wonder, the sporran thing.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Somebody saw that.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34Big Balls ahoy. I don't mean, you know, the kilt...
0:24:34 > 0:24:36I'll just keep quiet.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Ah, well, he had a brave heart.
0:24:43 > 0:24:48As he reaches the fourth ball, which is so close...
0:24:50 > 0:24:53So, Rob Roy just has the Swinging Letters to go.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56And, oh, no. No...
0:24:58 > 0:25:04And Rob Roy completes the qualifier in 1:56, a great run.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Are you slightly regretting wearing that large skirt?
0:25:07 > 0:25:11- No chance, I done it for Scotland. - You mean Team GB, Team GB?
0:25:11 > 0:25:15Do you think you did well enough to get the UK team through?
0:25:15 > 0:25:18- Of course, I done it for Scotland. - Team GB, of course, Team GB.
0:25:18 > 0:25:25Well, thank goodness for Rob Roy and Olympic Les, they've helped put some pride back into the Union Jack.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28But now it's time for the Rest of the World captain to put some pride
0:25:28 > 0:25:32back into the rest of the world flag, which doesn't exist.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36But if it did, this man would be waving it. It's jiggety-biggety Ali.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39I try to do, like, jiggety-biggety diggety boop.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42But I don't like jiggety-biggety splash. That is...
0:25:42 > 0:25:45fun, isn't it?
0:25:45 > 0:25:49So, please be upstanding for Jiggety-Biggety Ali.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51I don't have to stand, do I?
0:25:51 > 0:25:53# Aldim, verdim, ben seni yendim
0:25:53 > 0:25:56# Kelebegin kuyrugunu kesmeye geldim... #
0:25:56 > 0:25:57He volunteers to do this.
0:25:57 > 0:26:03Ali, you are the captain of the Rest of the World team today, how proud are you?
0:26:03 > 0:26:06I'm very, very proud, and we're going to win.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10I'm going to drive my team to the limit - shout at them, but fairly.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13Tell me how you're going to shout at them, fairly.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17Well, I'm going to tell them, come on, come on!
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Do this, come, run, jump!
0:26:19 > 0:26:24But don't get the hump. We're going to do it, we're going to do it.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Come on, come on, come on, everyone!
0:26:27 > 0:26:30And then just jump, jump, jump.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34OK. The Rest of the World captain sets off.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Oh, yes, and he is leading from the front.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Time to offer Ali some of his own advice now.
0:26:39 > 0:26:44Come on, do that, do this, run, jump, but don't get the hump!
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Does it help?
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Yes, he jumped and didn't get the hump.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52Second set now. Oh, masterful, this is a captain's run.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55On to the Sucker Punch. Oh...
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Looks in control...
0:27:00 > 0:27:04Ali, avoiding those Sucker Punch fists.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07Ooh, until then! Yeah, he got clothes-lined.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13But now it's jiggety-biggety time, here we go.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16- Red ball, red ball!- Jiggety...
0:27:16 > 0:27:18Biggety...
0:27:18 > 0:27:20No dignity.
0:27:20 > 0:27:25The Rest of the World captain approaches the Swinging Letters of SH.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28Ooh, he runs, he jumps. Vicious, tries to leap again.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32And no, no, it's another dip for Ali.
0:27:32 > 0:27:33Bad luck.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36And that puts him on top of the World slash leaderboard.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39Time for a trade mark victory dance.
0:27:39 > 0:27:40# Jolene... #
0:27:40 > 0:27:44Yes, Dolly's big in Istanbul - and Ali's hometown of Haverhill.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47So, Ali has put the Rest of the World in pole position,
0:27:47 > 0:27:51which means it's time to bring out Team GB's secret weapon.
0:27:51 > 0:27:56She's the great British hope - unleash the Jane!
0:27:56 > 0:27:59I'm going to be the first person to wave my hankies
0:27:59 > 0:28:02and shake my bells and Morris dance all round this course. Hoo!
0:28:04 > 0:28:05And so the nation's hopes rest
0:28:05 > 0:28:08on Morris dancing fanatic Jane from Shoreham-by-Sea.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11Do it for Queen and country, Jane!
0:28:14 > 0:28:16Oh, dear, pressure's got to her.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19It looks like the great British hope needs some help
0:28:19 > 0:28:21from an Argentinean lifeguard.
0:28:24 > 0:28:26Eduardo, my hero!
0:28:26 > 0:28:29It's not cheating, honest!
0:28:29 > 0:28:31Come on, Jane, please!
0:28:33 > 0:28:36- Here we go.- Am I allowed to give you a kiss?- What?
0:28:36 > 0:28:38Leave him alone!
0:28:38 > 0:28:41Come on, Jane, Morris dance your way across these balls.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43Motivator strikes again!
0:28:43 > 0:28:46Oh!
0:28:46 > 0:28:50Yeah, maybe 5,000 T-shirts was a bit over-confident.
0:28:52 > 0:28:55A bit of horizontal underwater Morris dancing there.
0:28:55 > 0:28:58Tricky.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01Seldom seen. A truly British performance - brave,
0:29:01 > 0:29:06determined and ultimately slightly flawed, but at least she finished.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09Jane, you got your Tarzan, in the form of lovely Eduardo.
0:29:09 > 0:29:13He wouldn't give me a kiss, I said, "Please give me a kiss," he just walked away.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22This is Kerri, from the Wirral.
0:29:22 > 0:29:25She's very sleepy. She's very flexible.
0:29:27 > 0:29:28And careless.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36Are you here to prove to anybody else that you can do it today?
0:29:36 > 0:29:40My boyfriend. He thinks I can't, he thinks I'm a wimp and I'll never do it.
0:29:40 > 0:29:42Is he sporty?
0:29:42 > 0:29:46Well, yeah, he plays football so he thinks he can do it and he's great.
0:29:46 > 0:29:50- Is he like a proper player and stuff?- Yeah, he is.
0:29:50 > 0:29:51Plays for a proper team and stuff?
0:29:51 > 0:29:53- Yes.- Manchester United?
0:29:53 > 0:29:55Yeah, I wish!
0:29:55 > 0:30:00I wish, then I wouldn't have to go to work and I could go shopping all day.
0:30:00 > 0:30:01It's cold!
0:30:01 > 0:30:05Imagine how cold it will be when she's submerged in the stuff.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08Here she goes. Kelly's fella actually
0:30:08 > 0:30:11plays for Macclesfield, which I suppose makes her a Kind of WAG.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17She's up and running on to the Traplonks now.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20Here we go. Yes.
0:30:20 > 0:30:23Ow! No, the Kind of WAG kind of missed the trapeze there
0:30:23 > 0:30:25by kind of quite a long way.
0:30:25 > 0:30:29Her boyfriend's good with balls - how will Kerri do?
0:30:29 > 0:30:30Ooh.
0:30:34 > 0:30:39I'd say that was some Macclesfield-level ball control right there.
0:30:39 > 0:30:42She could see a house from up there.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45All the people looked like ants and everything.
0:30:45 > 0:30:50And Kind of WAG Kerri finishes in a kind of good 3:07.
0:30:50 > 0:30:52No way!
0:30:52 > 0:30:55Yes, way.
0:30:55 > 0:30:58This is Sebastian, who lives in Manchester, he's got a beret and a stripy shirt.
0:30:58 > 0:31:01I think I can see where this is going.
0:31:01 > 0:31:06- Oh, no.- What are you packing in your pantalons, Sebastian?
0:31:06 > 0:31:09In zee pantalons, you don't want to know!
0:31:09 > 0:31:13Inside Sebastian's pantalons tonight are a commemorative
0:31:13 > 0:31:16Eiffel Tower nick-nack, a half-eaten croc monsieur, and...
0:31:16 > 0:31:18- Papa.- Nicole?- Erm...
0:31:18 > 0:31:21Amanda, it's all about the va-va-voom.
0:31:21 > 0:31:23Whatever that is.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26- Good luck.- Merci!
0:31:26 > 0:31:29Doing the frogleg hop... No, I'm not joining in, I'm not doing that.
0:31:31 > 0:31:35- And there goes the beret. - Va-va-voom!- Yes!
0:31:35 > 0:31:38Here comes his first opportunity to show us his va-va-voom.
0:31:38 > 0:31:40Ooh! A little bit on the low side there.
0:31:40 > 0:31:42Now he's going backwards.
0:31:42 > 0:31:44And now he's wet.
0:31:45 > 0:31:48Let's see how the French tackle Les Big Balls.
0:31:48 > 0:31:51Not all of them, I'm not stereotyping, just one.
0:31:51 > 0:31:53Non, non, non, non.
0:31:54 > 0:31:58A-suave, a-sophisticated and a-sopping wet.
0:31:58 > 0:32:01# They grow up in the most delightful way. #
0:32:01 > 0:32:02Plus vite!
0:32:02 > 0:32:06That's French for, and now the Swinging Letters have shut. Ooh-ooh!
0:32:11 > 0:32:14Almost made it before getting hit right in the onions.
0:32:16 > 0:32:20# Non, je ne regrette rien. #
0:32:21 > 0:32:23Another great Rest of the World performance
0:32:23 > 0:32:24from Va-Va-Voom Sebastian.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27Va-va-voom!
0:32:27 > 0:32:3117 runners down, just one to go, and it's the last of Team GB.
0:32:31 > 0:32:34To be honest, it's not looking too good.
0:32:34 > 0:32:41The leaderboard's dominated by the Rest of the World, and the last runner is a student called Scott.
0:32:41 > 0:32:46So, probably lazy, almost certainly not even out of bed yet. May as well call it a day.
0:32:46 > 0:32:49You can watch it if you want, I'm off to watch Countryfile.
0:32:54 > 0:32:57Scott, is there any bar to how well you're going to do here today?
0:32:57 > 0:33:02I don't think so. I'm pretty confident, I'm just going to bash it out, as fast as possible,
0:33:02 > 0:33:05quick time, and just come home with the money.
0:33:05 > 0:33:07How do you feel about the Rest of the World?
0:33:07 > 0:33:10Not even worried, not even worried.
0:33:10 > 0:33:15I didn't fly 7,000 miles from good old Blighty to come home empty-handed.
0:33:15 > 0:33:18God save the Queen!
0:33:18 > 0:33:19# England!
0:33:22 > 0:33:26# This is a self-preservation society
0:33:26 > 0:33:30# This is a self preservation society
0:33:30 > 0:33:32# Gotta get a bloomin' move on. #
0:33:34 > 0:33:36Yes!
0:33:39 > 0:33:41Hey?
0:33:41 > 0:33:43This is worth paying attention to!
0:33:43 > 0:33:45Well, he's stormed the Traplonks,
0:33:45 > 0:33:47and now he's trashing the Sucker Punch.
0:33:47 > 0:33:50Oh, he's off, but that's not going to stop him.
0:33:50 > 0:33:52Come on, Scott, I'm enjoying this!
0:33:52 > 0:33:56Here we go. That's one, on to the second, onto the third...
0:33:56 > 0:33:58Oh, great Scott!
0:34:00 > 0:34:02This is an amazingly quick time.
0:34:06 > 0:34:09Scott's in and out of that water like a bungee jumper.
0:34:09 > 0:34:11Oh, Great Scott's lost a shoe.
0:34:11 > 0:34:16So, great shoeless Scott plans his run.
0:34:16 > 0:34:20Here we go, he's off. Ooh, ducks...
0:34:20 > 0:34:24Onto to the H. That was not so great, Scott.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26Nevertheless, this is the fastest run of the day.
0:34:26 > 0:34:30I knew he could do it - all the time, I was confident.
0:34:30 > 0:34:31I lost my shoe!
0:34:33 > 0:34:36Great Scott leapfrogs Jiggety-Biggety Ali to take top spot.
0:34:36 > 0:34:39Rob Roy isn't far behind in fourth.
0:34:39 > 0:34:42While Va-Va-Voom Sebastian takes sixth.
0:34:42 > 0:34:45Kind of WAG Kerri is safely in ninth.
0:34:45 > 0:34:49Whilst Anna-Ish scrapes through to the next round, in 12th.
0:34:51 > 0:34:56So, there you have it, the glorious 12 who now venture on, leaving the feeble behind.
0:34:56 > 0:34:59But the feeble return home with joy in their hearts,
0:34:59 > 0:35:03the joy of being part of this worldwide obstacle jamboree.
0:35:03 > 0:35:06So, it's time for us all to use the international sign language
0:35:06 > 0:35:09for goodbye and good luck to say a solemn farewell to them all.
0:35:14 > 0:35:16# Happiness, happiness.
0:35:16 > 0:35:20# The greatest gift that I possess
0:35:20 > 0:35:21# I thank the Lord
0:35:21 > 0:35:23# That I've been blessed
0:35:23 > 0:35:26# With more than my share of happiness
0:35:28 > 0:35:31# Happiness, happiness
0:35:31 > 0:35:34# The greatest gift that I possess
0:35:34 > 0:35:37# I thank the Lord that I've been blessed
0:35:37 > 0:35:40# I got more than my share of happiness. #
0:35:52 > 0:35:54It's like a United Nations summit.
0:35:54 > 0:35:58Ah, more of a plateau and without the peace for humanity bit.
0:35:58 > 0:36:03The contestants must negotiate that world famous spoon and cross the
0:36:03 > 0:36:09international border to the middle, trying not to be extradited by that massive international dateline.
0:36:09 > 0:36:13The first five across will claim world dominance and be through to the next round.
0:36:13 > 0:36:17The others, however, will be looking for international rescue.
0:36:21 > 0:36:23On podium one, it's Jiggety-Biggety Ali.
0:36:23 > 0:36:27My time to go, yeah!
0:36:27 > 0:36:32Yeah. On two, three and four, Tinku Mani,
0:36:33 > 0:36:35Sharky Chantelle.
0:36:35 > 0:36:37Watch out for a shark attack!
0:36:37 > 0:36:40And Ker-pow Kirpal.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43On five, six and seven, Kind Of Wag Kerri.
0:36:43 > 0:36:48I'm the last girl left in Team GB, so this is for all the girls back home.
0:36:50 > 0:36:52Va-Va-Voom Sebastian.
0:36:52 > 0:36:57And Anna-Ish. On podiums eight and nine it's Precision Ralf.
0:36:57 > 0:37:02I might be third in the qualifier, but on Crash Mountain I will climb higher. Come on!
0:37:02 > 0:37:04And Olympic Les.
0:37:04 > 0:37:06Still proud.
0:37:08 > 0:37:10On ten it's Rob Roy.
0:37:10 > 0:37:14Come on the Flying Scotsman, let's destroy these jokers!
0:37:14 > 0:37:20And, finally, on podiums 11 and 12, Camgaroo and Great Scott.
0:37:20 > 0:37:24Ali, I hope you like second place because you're going to be seeing a lot more of that.
0:37:24 > 0:37:27Ali really not too fussed by that.
0:37:27 > 0:37:31Do you know, I think we've got just too many contestants left on the show.
0:37:31 > 0:37:33What's a girl to do?
0:37:36 > 0:37:38It's Crash Mountain!
0:37:38 > 0:37:40- Are you ready?- Yeah!
0:37:40 > 0:37:44Three, two, one!
0:37:45 > 0:37:48And, so, International Crash Mountain begins.
0:37:48 > 0:37:53Which nation will give us the first brave pioneer to step on to the rotating platform?
0:37:55 > 0:37:57Nobody.
0:37:57 > 0:37:59No, no one. Oh, wait, it's Turkey!
0:37:59 > 0:38:03Jiggety-Biggety Ali is on the spoon.
0:38:03 > 0:38:07Oh! But strangely dives off.
0:38:07 > 0:38:10Sharkey Chantelle there. Oh, it's a fall for South Africa.
0:38:10 > 0:38:12And France, And Germany.
0:38:12 > 0:38:15Where's the Brits?
0:38:15 > 0:38:16Ah, there's one.
0:38:16 > 0:38:19Good old Ker-pow Kirpal.
0:38:19 > 0:38:21He's up. He's down.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23Oh, this is frantic!
0:38:23 > 0:38:25Oh, he took that on the crown.
0:38:27 > 0:38:28Anna takes a dive.
0:38:28 > 0:38:32Olympic Les walking on air. Another try from France. Ouch!
0:38:32 > 0:38:35Oh la la, Sebastian!
0:38:35 > 0:38:38Mani. Oww!
0:38:38 > 0:38:42Kind Of Wag Kerri is on the spoon.
0:38:43 > 0:38:46WAGs on. WAGs off.
0:38:46 > 0:38:49Rob Roy now runs. At least the skirt softened a fall.
0:38:49 > 0:38:52Still no one across.
0:38:52 > 0:38:56Chantelle. Can she make it? Oh!
0:38:56 > 0:38:59No.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01Anna-Ish lands ish.
0:39:04 > 0:39:06Roy back again, looking good.
0:39:06 > 0:39:09He's up and bolts it and it's a point to team GB.
0:39:12 > 0:39:14But who will be joining him?
0:39:14 > 0:39:17Well, Ralf's giving it to go, a promising start.
0:39:17 > 0:39:18You can do it, Ralf.
0:39:18 > 0:39:21Correction, he can't.
0:39:21 > 0:39:26If this was pole vaulting he'd be doing really well, but it's not pole vaulting, it's Crash Mountain.
0:39:29 > 0:39:32Great Scott, it's Great Scott!
0:39:32 > 0:39:34He's very considered.
0:39:34 > 0:39:35Taking his time.
0:39:35 > 0:39:37Looking good.
0:39:37 > 0:39:42- Looking great. He's on!- Oh, UK two,
0:39:42 > 0:39:45Rest Of The World nil.
0:39:45 > 0:39:47Jiggety-Biggety Ali tries again.
0:39:47 > 0:39:50Holds on this time. Clearly wants this position.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52Just three spaces left.
0:39:53 > 0:39:58And he's got one! The first Rest Of The World contestant is across.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00Will Ralf be next?
0:40:00 > 0:40:03So close!
0:40:03 > 0:40:06Just jumped too early.
0:40:06 > 0:40:08So, Ali, Roy and Scott are through,
0:40:08 > 0:40:11which means battling for the final two spots
0:40:11 > 0:40:15are Mani, Chantelle, Kirpal, Kerri,
0:40:15 > 0:40:22Sebastian, Anna, Ralf, Les and Cam.
0:40:23 > 0:40:26Here's Les, trying to lead by example.
0:40:28 > 0:40:29And that was a bad example.
0:40:31 > 0:40:33Those shorts are small!
0:40:34 > 0:40:40Camgaroo leaps for it. Could this be a Rest Of The World Win?
0:40:40 > 0:40:42She's up and going for it.
0:40:42 > 0:40:44Oh! I take that back.
0:40:47 > 0:40:51Hogan's Ghost! That didn't look pleasant.
0:40:51 > 0:40:53Ralf yet again.
0:40:53 > 0:40:57Clearly not going to rest until he's across.
0:40:57 > 0:40:59And he is across.
0:40:59 > 0:41:01Two from each team.
0:41:01 > 0:41:06Kirpal's landed. Could this be a majority win for the Brits?
0:41:06 > 0:41:08It is! We have the final five.
0:41:10 > 0:41:15Oh, and it's UK 3 rest of the world dos.
0:41:15 > 0:41:21Winners they may be, but let's tip our hats to those who have fallen by the wayside.
0:41:21 > 0:41:24Well, you know, not enough Va-Va-Voom, obviously,
0:41:24 > 0:41:26but what can I say?
0:41:26 > 0:41:30You know, the Va-Va-Voom is still floating there somewhere.
0:41:30 > 0:41:32Yeah, I wasn't expecting it at all.
0:41:32 > 0:41:38It was a hard hit. I did a couple of somersaults, but I'll stay strong.
0:41:38 > 0:41:44I'm not upholding my Wag status because my hair's a mess, my nails are chipped and broken.
0:41:44 > 0:41:47Oh, well, at least we got three through.
0:41:47 > 0:41:49UK team surprised me.
0:41:49 > 0:41:51They beat us up, I have to admit.
0:41:51 > 0:41:53Defeated again!
0:41:53 > 0:41:58The spirit of the Tinku warrior was in me, but I did a small one
0:41:58 > 0:42:01and I think that was it. I messed up.
0:42:01 > 0:42:04I let the spirits down.
0:42:04 > 0:42:06I tried and tried again. And, yeah.
0:42:06 > 0:42:07I don't know.
0:42:07 > 0:42:10I think I just got unlucky.
0:42:10 > 0:42:13I'm sorry, I let them down. But I'm basically an old man, really.
0:42:13 > 0:42:17This is a young man's sport and I'm just looking forward to getting my bus pass now.
0:42:25 > 0:42:30Ah ha! The international language of dizzy is 40 seconds spent strapped into that thing.
0:42:30 > 0:42:34A wobble through the rotating door, doing your best to avoid a dousing,
0:42:34 > 0:42:36and on to the Tippy Table Maze.
0:42:36 > 0:42:39Last one across is out of the competition.
0:42:39 > 0:42:42Then the remaining four contestants do it all again.
0:42:42 > 0:42:46Spin, hose, door, but this time across the barrel run.
0:42:46 > 0:42:52Again, last one across is eliminated and, hey presto, the three finalists! Encore? Bravo!
0:42:56 > 0:43:00Centrifugal force, now there's a word that's not used often enough,
0:43:00 > 0:43:04especially in the same sentence as contestants and vomit.
0:43:04 > 0:43:07It's time for Dizzy Dummies. Are you all ready?
0:43:07 > 0:43:09Yes!
0:43:10 > 0:43:14Three, two, one!
0:43:15 > 0:43:19Whilst this lot are spinning, I'm thinking you're wanting to knowing who they are-ing.
0:43:21 > 0:43:23Well, there's Ker-pow Kirpal,
0:43:23 > 0:43:27the ninja dentist in need of some dentures.
0:43:27 > 0:43:32He saved Team GB's blushes in The Qualifier, it's Great Scott.
0:43:32 > 0:43:35God save the Queen!
0:43:35 > 0:43:40There's Precision Ralf, the Bogling German towel lord.
0:43:40 > 0:43:45He's done the Highland fling and we've seen up his skirt, it's Rob Roy.
0:43:46 > 0:43:50Finally, the Rest Of The World's captain.
0:43:50 > 0:43:53- He can jig, he's big, it's Jiggety-Biggety Ali.- Come on!
0:43:58 > 0:44:01And that's the noise they've all been waiting for.
0:44:01 > 0:44:03Ralf is up and running.
0:44:03 > 0:44:06He's straight through.
0:44:09 > 0:44:13Ali's through, too, but Ralf is storming on.
0:44:13 > 0:44:16The Tippy Table Maze isn't really much of a maze.
0:44:16 > 0:44:19That said, I'd probably still get lost and have to phone my wife
0:44:19 > 0:44:22to get me out of there. But Ralf still leading right now.
0:44:22 > 0:44:26Roy making sure everyone is safely on.
0:44:26 > 0:44:28Oh, double trouble!
0:44:28 > 0:44:30Ralf and Scott hung on though.
0:44:30 > 0:44:33And Ralf is through. As is Scott.
0:44:33 > 0:44:37- Textbook cheeky bottom slap there. - We've got one of each!
0:44:37 > 0:44:40The crowd can barely contain their excitement.
0:44:40 > 0:44:42Two places left in the next round.
0:44:42 > 0:44:46Rob Roy and Jiggety-Biggety Ali are on the Tippy Table Maze part one.
0:44:46 > 0:44:48And Ali's gone.
0:44:48 > 0:44:51I don't think he's made it past that first partition thing.
0:44:51 > 0:44:56As Ali climbs out of the pond, Kirpal sees his chance
0:44:56 > 0:44:58and he grabs it, though gingerly.
0:45:00 > 0:45:03Oh, Britain is not proud of that, but they could be of Roy.
0:45:03 > 0:45:06He's got the second table all to himself.
0:45:06 > 0:45:08I do you hope Roy gets flipped.
0:45:08 > 0:45:10I really want to see what's under his kilt.
0:45:10 > 0:45:13No! Roy is showing no signs of falling off this time,
0:45:13 > 0:45:16he just needs to edge round the thing and watch out for the tip.
0:45:16 > 0:45:20The tip, Roy! Watch out for the tip!
0:45:23 > 0:45:25# Donald, where's your troosers? #
0:45:25 > 0:45:28That's what's under there, a big white question mark.
0:45:28 > 0:45:33Ali way in the lead now, inching his way along table number two.
0:45:33 > 0:45:38What's this? Rob Roy has stolen a march on Kirpal by nipping along the side.
0:45:38 > 0:45:42Ali tips, and again! This is desperate now.
0:45:42 > 0:45:46Kirpal still has some way to go to get anywhere.
0:45:50 > 0:45:52Ali and Roy, having a conflab. Oh!
0:45:53 > 0:45:57Ali makes his move, closely followed by Roy on to the second Tippy Table.
0:45:57 > 0:46:02Remember, last one across here will be eliminated. Roy's slipping.
0:46:02 > 0:46:07Ali's going for it, and the terrific Turk has defeated the Maze.
0:46:07 > 0:46:11It's a battle to the death now between Roy and Kirpal.
0:46:13 > 0:46:15It tips, Kirpal's in!
0:46:15 > 0:46:19That means an open goal for Roy if he can only hang on.
0:46:19 > 0:46:21And he's done it! Safely through to the next round.
0:46:24 > 0:46:26Hallelujah!
0:46:26 > 0:46:28Not for Kirpal, who's eliminated.
0:46:28 > 0:46:31That was an unbelievable fight at the end.
0:46:31 > 0:46:33I tried my best.
0:46:33 > 0:46:37Hat off for the rest of the competitors. They did well.
0:46:37 > 0:46:39Whoever wins it, they deserve it.
0:46:41 > 0:46:43# Mad world. #
0:46:45 > 0:46:47It's almost relaxing, isn't it?
0:46:51 > 0:46:55Relaxing, but in a terrifying way.
0:46:57 > 0:47:01The competitors are released and the Argentinean squirty man gets to work.
0:47:01 > 0:47:03He's already knocked Ralf off his feet.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05But Ali not so easily distracted.
0:47:05 > 0:47:08He's up and through the door.
0:47:08 > 0:47:13He's enjoying himself today. Roy's approaching the door now.
0:47:13 > 0:47:16Meanwhile, Ralf prepares for the Barrel Run.
0:47:16 > 0:47:18- Vorsprung Durch Ralf Technik. - Stop it!
0:47:18 > 0:47:22Both Rest of the World competitors are on to the barrels now.
0:47:22 > 0:47:26And to make things easier they're not getting pelted with dodgeballs.
0:47:26 > 0:47:30Oh no. They are. And those barrels have been thoroughly greased.
0:47:30 > 0:47:32Ralf takes the lead.
0:47:32 > 0:47:36But he's struggling to get a grip now.
0:47:36 > 0:47:40Keep hold of it. Probably because of the grease and dodgeballs.
0:47:43 > 0:47:45Now Ali pulls level with Roy.
0:47:45 > 0:47:49Look at that! Scott gets one right in the helmet.
0:47:49 > 0:47:52Ouch.
0:47:52 > 0:47:56Ali slips. Clearly not a big fan of grease.
0:47:58 > 0:48:00Scott's in, too.
0:48:00 > 0:48:03OK, so Ralf's back in the lead.
0:48:03 > 0:48:05He jumps. Another slip.
0:48:05 > 0:48:09The precise German's precisely hit the water.
0:48:09 > 0:48:16Rob Roy striding over the barrels now, but behind him it's a charge from Scott.
0:48:16 > 0:48:17He's going to make it.
0:48:17 > 0:48:19He didn't make it!
0:48:19 > 0:48:22Oh, no!
0:48:22 > 0:48:27Someone's got a bit carried away with the slippery stuff out there today. It's looking impossible.
0:48:27 > 0:48:28Ali.
0:48:28 > 0:48:30# Ali, Ali! #
0:48:30 > 0:48:34Still on. He's making a bid for glory.
0:48:34 > 0:48:37Oh! So close!
0:48:37 > 0:48:40Ali just fell short of the very final barrel.
0:48:40 > 0:48:42Back to the start for him.
0:48:42 > 0:48:46Ralf and Roy on now. Ralf and Roy both off now.
0:48:46 > 0:48:50I think Roy's enthusiasm flustered Ralf so much he just fell off his barrel.
0:48:52 > 0:48:55But Ali wants another go.
0:48:55 > 0:48:58There's determination in those eyes.
0:48:58 > 0:49:02Look at Roy. He's making this look easy.
0:49:02 > 0:49:07Oh! And he's across and into the final.
0:49:07 > 0:49:10They'll never take our freedom!
0:49:10 > 0:49:13They'll never take our soggy kilts, either.
0:49:13 > 0:49:16Probably wouldn't want them.
0:49:16 > 0:49:20So, just two spots remain.
0:49:20 > 0:49:24One of Ali, Ralf and Scott will be eliminated.
0:49:24 > 0:49:27Ali's the first to move.
0:49:27 > 0:49:29And, yes, the Turk triumphs.
0:49:29 > 0:49:33And look. From nowhere, Scott romps home, too.
0:49:33 > 0:49:36And there's the klaxon, which means it's all over.
0:49:36 > 0:49:40Too little too late for precision Ralf. He's out.
0:49:40 > 0:49:42Ich bin gutted for you.
0:49:42 > 0:49:47- And I know by your face you're gutted for yourself.- Yes.
0:49:47 > 0:49:52So, German-born Ralf has been eliminated at the semi-final stage,
0:49:52 > 0:49:56meaning that it's that time in the show where we hand over to the finalists.
0:49:56 > 0:50:01Rob Roy, Great Scott and Jiggety-Biggety Ali.
0:50:01 > 0:50:04I think if there's any tournament worth winning,
0:50:04 > 0:50:06Total Wipeout's the one.
0:50:06 > 0:50:07I do love Total Wipeout.
0:50:07 > 0:50:10Now, on my town it was Bizarre Man.
0:50:10 > 0:50:12Now I'm Jiggety-Big Ali.
0:50:12 > 0:50:14It's right up my street. I love taking part in
0:50:14 > 0:50:17adventurous activities and this is just like one big playground.
0:50:19 > 0:50:21I'm very proud to be representing Great Britain.
0:50:21 > 0:50:23We've got the Queen, royal family...
0:50:23 > 0:50:24God Save the Queen!
0:50:24 > 0:50:28..The best football in the world. We don't dive around.
0:50:28 > 0:50:29I want to win very badly.
0:50:29 > 0:50:34Not only money-wise, I would like to say I can do it and I done it.
0:50:34 > 0:50:36Overall, we're part of Team GB.
0:50:36 > 0:50:38But I would love to win just to show that Scotland
0:50:38 > 0:50:41as a small nation can do well, versus the rest of the world.
0:50:41 > 0:50:45Roy, he's a fighter. He never give up. And he's proud to be Scottish.
0:50:45 > 0:50:49He's quite dangerous. He's a bit of a power house with his big muscles.
0:50:49 > 0:50:51I'm not sure how fast he is. I think I might be able to beat him.
0:50:51 > 0:50:55Scott is the type of competitor that it'll be difficult to go against.
0:50:55 > 0:50:58He's young and he don't have fear.
0:50:58 > 0:51:01He's really quick on his feet and he's got that advantage over me.
0:51:01 > 0:51:03Ali, at first, I wasn't too worried about him.
0:51:03 > 0:51:05He's a big guy. Similar build and stature to myself.
0:51:05 > 0:51:08I'm 40-years-old, but I'm still strong.
0:51:08 > 0:51:11But I think age will prevail here.
0:51:11 > 0:51:14Tonight is going to be just jiggety-biggety.
0:51:14 > 0:51:15No boom boom. Going to fly for it.
0:51:15 > 0:51:19Being the champion tonight, it would mean the world to me.
0:51:19 > 0:51:22So I'll give it my all and hopefully I'll get there.
0:51:22 > 0:51:26As a little boy, I would have loved to have competed in the 2012 Olympics.
0:51:26 > 0:51:29But having the chance to compete for Great Britain at probably
0:51:29 > 0:51:32the next best event in the world is just as good.
0:51:37 > 0:51:41I tell you, the entire world will be watching this right now.
0:51:41 > 0:51:4460 million Brits will be cheering on Rob Roy and Great Scott,
0:51:44 > 0:51:48whilst Jiggety-Biggety Ali will have the support of the other
0:51:48 > 0:51:556,835,596,102 viewers.
0:52:01 > 0:52:04It's survival of the fittest here tonight.
0:52:04 > 0:52:10We've got a fit Turk, we've got a fit Scot and we've got a fit man...
0:52:10 > 0:52:11called Scott.
0:52:11 > 0:52:15It's the Wipeout Zone and Ali is the first to brave it.
0:52:18 > 0:52:21Rest of the World team captain Ali has made it this far.
0:52:21 > 0:52:24Now he's aiming to go jiggety-biggety to win.
0:52:24 > 0:52:27Captain Ali. Team, that's for you.
0:52:30 > 0:52:35And so the international Wipeout Zone begins.
0:52:35 > 0:52:39Another jiggety-biggety splash for Ali and off he swims.
0:52:39 > 0:52:43As always, the ten-second tidal wave countdown will begin
0:52:43 > 0:52:48when Ali gets on to the slope of the first obstacle, the Rapid Climb.
0:52:48 > 0:52:49He's made his swim. He's on.
0:52:49 > 0:52:52The clock starts ticking.
0:52:52 > 0:52:56But Ali's making confident strides up the climb,
0:52:56 > 0:53:01looking very sure-footed. And he's beaten the Tidal Wave.
0:53:01 > 0:53:06Onto the international Seesaw of Truth. It's the same as the normal one, really. Solid balance.
0:53:08 > 0:53:12There's the tip. And Ali's made it.
0:53:12 > 0:53:14Slightly unnecessary jump from Ali there.
0:53:14 > 0:53:17Nevertheless, he's on to the Crazy Sweeper now.
0:53:17 > 0:53:22He's got a strategic ducking. Not often seen.
0:53:22 > 0:53:24Cautious. Little bit time-consuming.
0:53:24 > 0:53:28Now Ali's up and going for it across the Podiums. Looking good.
0:53:28 > 0:53:31- Ooh! Another Hollywood jump!- Yes!
0:53:31 > 0:53:34Ali's certainly putting on a show for us tonight.
0:53:34 > 0:53:38Rope Swing now. The weight of the world on his shoulders.
0:53:38 > 0:53:40Literally.
0:53:40 > 0:53:43And that's a near-perfect landing.
0:53:43 > 0:53:46Ali gets his composer for one final leap.
0:53:46 > 0:53:49He's done it. He's completed the Wipeout Zone
0:53:49 > 0:53:52in a massively impressive one minute 25.
0:53:52 > 0:53:56- Jiggety-biggety brilliant. - Thank you very much.
0:53:56 > 0:53:59I am Ali Jiggety-Big! Come on!
0:53:59 > 0:54:05Well I'll tell you, Jiggety-Big, you've done that in a brilliant one minute and 25 seconds.
0:54:05 > 0:54:08Oh, my God! I done it.
0:54:08 > 0:54:12At least we know you're happy. But it's not over yet because Roy is up next.
0:54:12 > 0:54:15- Roy, good luck to you.- Oh, hello.
0:54:15 > 0:54:17All right. Let's watch.
0:54:17 > 0:54:20Doing it for Team GB, it's Rob Roy.
0:54:20 > 0:54:22Come on, Scotland.
0:54:22 > 0:54:25And Team GB, remember, yeah?
0:54:25 > 0:54:26Team GB.
0:54:26 > 0:54:29Altogether.
0:54:30 > 0:54:35Well, Jiggety-Biggety Ali's error-free run has set a tough benchmark for the Brits.
0:54:35 > 0:54:37So it's time for some bulldog spirit.
0:54:41 > 0:54:44Roy hauls himself up on to the Rapid Climb.
0:54:44 > 0:54:46And the countdown begins.
0:54:46 > 0:54:49And Roy's storming up that slope.
0:54:49 > 0:54:52Must be a bit easier with a wetsuit instead of a kilt.
0:54:52 > 0:54:55Tidal Wave duly beaten. Seesaw of Truth.
0:54:55 > 0:54:58Bit of a wobble, but he's fine.
0:54:58 > 0:55:00This is quick.
0:55:02 > 0:55:04Roy could make up some time on the Crazy Sweeper here.
0:55:04 > 0:55:07Ali was a tad cautious, but Roy is really going for it.
0:55:07 > 0:55:09Over the Podiums. Risky, but he's safe.
0:55:09 > 0:55:16He's close, but Roy needs a solid finish now.
0:55:16 > 0:55:21Good swing. Slightly overshoots the turntable but he's up and...
0:55:21 > 0:55:22Incredible!
0:55:22 > 0:55:25Rob Roy finishes in one minute six. A new Wipeout Zone record.
0:55:27 > 0:55:29- Did you enjoy that? - I loved every second of it.
0:55:29 > 0:55:32I don't want to scare you, but Ali was fantastic tonight.
0:55:32 > 0:55:36Scotland particularly known for its sporting prowess.
0:55:36 > 0:55:39Because you were faster than Ali.
0:55:39 > 0:55:42- Well done, Roy. - I am really happy for you.
0:55:42 > 0:55:45Roy, you know what this means.
0:55:45 > 0:55:48One step away from becoming the Total Wipeout champion.
0:55:48 > 0:55:51I would love to. My friends, my family and for Scotland.
0:55:51 > 0:55:56Fingers crossed for Scotland, but Scott is up next.
0:55:56 > 0:56:00So it's now a Scot versus Great Scott.
0:56:00 > 0:56:02Britain, this one's for you.
0:56:06 > 0:56:09Britain's won the show, but who will win the dough?
0:56:09 > 0:56:13This international Wipeout Zone has just become a home nations affair.
0:56:13 > 0:56:14England versus Scotland.
0:56:14 > 0:56:16But the Englishman is called Scott.
0:56:16 > 0:56:19It's confusing. Yeah...
0:56:21 > 0:56:23Beam him up, Scotty.
0:56:23 > 0:56:27Scott attempting now to beat the countdown.
0:56:27 > 0:56:31Looking good. Beats it comfortably.
0:56:31 > 0:56:33To beat Rob's blistering time,
0:56:33 > 0:56:37Scott really needs to be error-free and super-quick on his run.
0:56:37 > 0:56:41Not that he knows how well Rob did, remember. Oh!
0:56:43 > 0:56:47OK, Crazy Sweeper time. This is key.
0:56:47 > 0:56:49Scott can't hang around if he's to beat Roy.
0:56:49 > 0:56:54But he's ducking and ducking for a second time now.
0:56:54 > 0:56:57He's up. A dash across the Podiums.
0:57:00 > 0:57:02Scott's done it, but it's tight.
0:57:02 > 0:57:04Seconds slipping away.
0:57:04 > 0:57:06Good swing.
0:57:06 > 0:57:10He's got himself tangled up in the rope and he's lost it.
0:57:10 > 0:57:12It's a superb time of one minute 17,
0:57:12 > 0:57:17but it's not enough to beat Roy's record-breaking effort.
0:57:17 > 0:57:20How are you feeling after that?
0:57:20 > 0:57:22I'm good. It was over so quickly.
0:57:22 > 0:57:25Listen, I'm going to put you both out of your misery.
0:57:25 > 0:57:29Either way, the UK has won here tonight.
0:57:29 > 0:57:31But it is between the two Scotts.
0:57:31 > 0:57:34The Scotsman and Scott.
0:57:34 > 0:57:38With the fastest time ever on the Wipeout Zone,
0:57:38 > 0:57:40the Scot that has won...
0:57:43 > 0:57:46..is Roy.
0:57:46 > 0:57:48Congratulations, my man.
0:57:48 > 0:57:49Hard luck, Scott.
0:57:54 > 0:57:58Congratulations to the winner of International Total Wipeout,
0:57:58 > 0:58:0028-year-old Roy Davidson from Glasgow.
0:58:00 > 0:58:02And thanks to Roy's outstanding performance,
0:58:02 > 0:58:04the winning team is Team GB.
0:58:04 > 0:58:07But it doesn't end there because Scott, Roy and Ali,
0:58:07 > 0:58:11along with the other Wipeout Zone finalists from this series, get to do battle once more.
0:58:11 > 0:58:14It's coming.
0:58:14 > 0:58:16It's nearly here.
0:58:16 > 0:58:19It's just around the corner.
0:58:19 > 0:58:20DRUM BANGS
0:58:20 > 0:58:23Would somebody please get that door?
0:58:23 > 0:58:24No?
0:58:27 > 0:58:31I ordered a meat feast! Where was I?
0:58:33 > 0:58:39Oh yes. The Wipeout Zone finalists do battle once more to discover the ultimate champion. It's the final.
0:58:39 > 0:58:40It's going to be a biggie.
0:58:40 > 0:58:42But for now, from Amanda and me, it's goodbye.
0:58:55 > 0:58:58Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:58:58 > 0:59:01E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk