0:00:02 > 0:00:04Buenos Aires, home to Argentina's finest wines,
0:00:04 > 0:00:06Argentina's finest steaks,
0:00:06 > 0:00:10and, of course, Argentina's finest, and, er, only, Total Wipeout course!
0:00:10 > 0:00:1420 of Britain finest and most upstandingest citizens,
0:00:14 > 0:00:18including a cheerleader, a former wrestler and a microbiologist,
0:00:18 > 0:00:21have journeyed from afar to take on the Total Wipeout course.
0:00:21 > 0:00:2319 of them will crash and burn,
0:00:23 > 0:00:27but one will emerge victorious like a phoenix from the flames...
0:00:27 > 0:00:30well, a grilled chicken... to walk away with £10,000.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Let the games begin!
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Welcome once again to Total Wipeout.
0:00:38 > 0:00:42And there's a very special atmosphere in here because... drum roll, please!
0:00:42 > 0:00:46- DRUM ROLL - ..this is no ordinary edition!
0:00:46 > 0:00:49What? This is an ordinary edition?
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Oh, I must have misread that e-mail.
0:00:52 > 0:00:53Ooh...
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Atmosphere's kind of turned in here.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Never mind, I'll crack on! What's in store today?
0:00:59 > 0:01:02The Qualifier sorts the wheat from the chaff!
0:01:02 > 0:01:06Crash Mountain sorts the chaff from the other chaff.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Dizzy Dummies spins the chaff around and makes the chaff sick.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13And finally the Wipeout Zone... Chaffin' heck, it's scary!
0:01:15 > 0:01:19So the course is ready, the contestants are ready, Amanda Byram's ready,
0:01:19 > 0:01:20my dinner's ready...
0:01:20 > 0:01:22I'm not eating that broccoli!
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Right, it's over to the course where Amanda is waiting with the first contestant.
0:01:31 > 0:01:36This is 18-year-old man mountain Syed from Bangladesh...
0:01:36 > 0:01:37via Birmingham.
0:01:37 > 0:01:43- You're not exactly the biggest chap we've ever had on the Qualifier, Syed!- Maybe not,
0:01:43 > 0:01:46but I don't think size matters. I've got speed. I've got speed. Speed's everything.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49I'm Syed and I'm going to show you how it's done!
0:01:49 > 0:01:52Yeah, OK, go on then! How's it done?
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Yes... Oh?
0:01:54 > 0:01:56That's how it's done? Got you!
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Well, he's down the slide.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Syed's out of the water nice and quickly,
0:02:00 > 0:02:02and now flying across the pontoons,
0:02:02 > 0:02:04heading straight for the first obstacle.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06It's the Crazy Keys,
0:02:06 > 0:02:08and like everything on the Total Wipeout course
0:02:08 > 0:02:12it's all about getting from the start to the end,
0:02:12 > 0:02:14avoiding the water below and these planks
0:02:14 > 0:02:16that can smash into your face like this.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20But, surely, he's so light, he'll barely tickle those ivories?
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Oh, no, no!
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Still, doesn't matter, up you get.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Maybe he'll have more luck on the second set.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Come on, Syed!
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Oh, nearly! Yes...
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Yes, he makes it across the second set of Crazy Keys!
0:02:40 > 0:02:41Well done, Syed!
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Next, he faces the Sucker Punch,
0:02:43 > 0:02:46a wall of relentless mechanical boxing gloves!
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Is he man enough to defeat them?
0:02:50 > 0:02:53- Well, apparently not, no! - The Sucker Punch
0:02:53 > 0:02:56has just punched one of his brain cells out.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Looks like he's got two for the price of one there.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01No extra charge!
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Next up for our man mountain,
0:03:04 > 0:03:07it's a modern-day version of David versus Goliath...
0:03:07 > 0:03:11it's little Syed versus the Big Red Balls!
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Some try to go over them,
0:03:13 > 0:03:15some try to go under them,
0:03:15 > 0:03:19and some ever try to go through them...the fools!
0:03:19 > 0:03:23Just look at the aggression on his little face now! He really means business!
0:03:23 > 0:03:26Can he do the double and make it across the Big Red Balls too?
0:03:26 > 0:03:27Come on, Syed!
0:03:29 > 0:03:30Ow! No...!
0:03:30 > 0:03:32I thought it was too much to ask!
0:03:32 > 0:03:37Man-mountain Syed only succeeds in launching himself into the water.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Climbing up on the molecules now on to the ladder,
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Syed has flown round the Qualifier so far,
0:03:42 > 0:03:46but now faces a new addition to the Total Wipeout course.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Nobody quite knows what they are...
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Some think they might be an ancient astrological chart,
0:03:52 > 0:03:56while others suspect they may form part of a medieval calendar...
0:03:56 > 0:04:00To me, they look like a load of tyres wrapped in a bunch of colourful plastic...
0:04:00 > 0:04:03so what are we calling this? It's the...what? The Ring-A-Dings?
0:04:03 > 0:04:08Honestly, I've seen pre-school toys with scarier names than that!
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Introducing the Ring-A-Dings!
0:04:11 > 0:04:15Just 11 colourful hoops to go now for Syed...
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Correction! Just a swim and some stairs to go now for Syed!
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Man-mountain Syed gets round the course
0:04:21 > 0:04:23as fast as his little legs will carry him!
0:04:23 > 0:04:25In 2 minutes and 59 seconds.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Bangladesh!
0:04:27 > 0:04:28Bangladesh to you too, Syed!
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Next to go and no doubt inspired by Syed's exploits
0:04:32 > 0:04:37is 35-year-old childminder Rachel from Derbyshire who is ever-so slightly excited
0:04:37 > 0:04:39about taking on the Qualifier!
0:04:39 > 0:04:42- Oh, I'm so excited!- Never?
0:04:42 > 0:04:43# I'm so excited
0:04:43 > 0:04:46# And I just can't hide it... #
0:04:47 > 0:04:49You're going down, baby!
0:04:50 > 0:04:52OK. Rachel launches herself...
0:04:52 > 0:04:55gradually...and then a little bit quicker...that's gravity for you!
0:04:55 > 0:04:56Helpful!
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Not so excited now, I'll warrant!
0:05:00 > 0:05:04OK, climbing out of the water with all the grace of a... graceless thing...
0:05:04 > 0:05:10Strange, all of a sudden, excitable Rachel isn't as excited as she used to be!
0:05:10 > 0:05:13How many Crazy Keys will Rachel get across?
0:05:13 > 0:05:15One. One...
0:05:15 > 0:05:16She crossed one key.
0:05:16 > 0:05:21Talking of one key, I bet she's feeling a little bit "wonky" now!
0:05:21 > 0:05:23I promise, no more like that, I'll stop.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Excitable Rachel on the Big Red Balls!
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Quick, the Motivator's in motion!
0:05:30 > 0:05:33To be fair, the click of the Motivator being released
0:05:33 > 0:05:37is enough to scare anyone into a futile and ill-judged jump...
0:05:37 > 0:05:38which that was.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44# You wash your face in my sink You wash your face in my sink... #
0:05:44 > 0:05:47It seems to me like Rachel's having a leisurely fun day out.
0:05:47 > 0:05:52- Rachel's developed her own Ring-A-Ding technique, eh?- Does she know that it's against the clock?
0:05:52 > 0:05:55I don't know. There isn't a clock fitted.
0:05:55 > 0:05:56Rachel really needs to get a move on,
0:05:56 > 0:05:59as, remember, only the fastest 12 contestants round the Qualifier
0:05:59 > 0:06:03progress to the next round of the show. That isn't helping.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05That means you've to get across the rings, Rachel!
0:06:07 > 0:06:08# Like a puppet on a...
0:06:11 > 0:06:12# String! #
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Finally Rachel completes the Qualifier
0:06:14 > 0:06:16in a not-so-exciting 7 minutes and 15 seconds.
0:06:16 > 0:06:17Whoo!
0:06:19 > 0:06:21I love you!
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Yeah, and I love you too, Rachel!
0:06:23 > 0:06:25And now a very proud moment for me.
0:06:25 > 0:06:29After years of pestering the Total Wipeout big cheeses, they've done it.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32They've finally got Royalty on the show.
0:06:32 > 0:06:36Yep, the next competitor is a real bone fide African prince!
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Because his uncle is king of his village.
0:06:38 > 0:06:43Hang on! Why am I not king of my village? In fact, who is king of my village?
0:06:43 > 0:06:44Oh, yeah...
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Roger.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Anyway, back to it! All hail Prince Ndubisi...
0:06:50 > 0:06:52..from Shepherds Bush!
0:06:54 > 0:06:59- So how are Charles and Camilla doing?- Well, I'm not that kind of prince. I'm a prince from Nigeria.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03- So I'm assuming you've got, like, butlers and stuff?- Well, I've got butlers, I've got drivers,
0:07:03 > 0:07:06I've got cooks, I've got the whole works.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08I'm going to be your Total Wipeout prince!
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Yeah!
0:07:10 > 0:07:11HOOTER
0:07:11 > 0:07:12Ndubisi's off!
0:07:12 > 0:07:15That's ridiculous! That's clearly not going to work, is it?
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Nobody to lift him out the water. He did that himself.
0:07:20 > 0:07:21On to the Crazy Keys!
0:07:21 > 0:07:22Oh!
0:07:22 > 0:07:25Those foaming keys really should show him some more respect.
0:07:25 > 0:07:26He is royalty after all, don't you know?
0:07:26 > 0:07:30If you've got a butler, why would you do this?
0:07:30 > 0:07:32His Highness!
0:07:34 > 0:07:36I know what's coming!
0:07:36 > 0:07:37His Lowness!
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Yeah, I knew she was going to say that.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42If this happened to Ndubisi in his own kingdom,
0:07:42 > 0:07:45I'm sure one of his courtiers would help him down.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Sadly, they're nowhere in sight. Must be back in Shepherds Bush!
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Up next, it's 29-year-old Charlie from Croydon.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56And there's something not quite right about him.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00- Charlie, what is it you do? - I'm a microbiologist, Amanda.
0:08:00 > 0:08:01So I work with bacteria every day.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04- I have a dark secret.- Really?
0:08:06 > 0:08:07Aaargh!
0:08:07 > 0:08:09That's what's not quite right about him!
0:08:09 > 0:08:13- Sorry about that. You need a little lie-down now after that? - I might just do.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17- I'm going to lie down. You go conquer that! - Come on, I'm ready! Let's do it!
0:08:18 > 0:08:21I'm putting this course to the test in the name of science
0:08:21 > 0:08:23for all the hairy men out there...
0:08:23 > 0:08:26- and women! - Don't mention Amanda's armpits!
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Right, Charlie's off!
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Oh, that chest hair must be waterlogged by now!
0:08:30 > 0:08:33Maybe it helps! I don't know, he'll be warm...like a seal.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Charlie gets to his feet and charges towards the Crazy Keys.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39As a scientist, Charlie knows of course, that what isn't held up
0:08:39 > 0:08:41must come down!
0:08:41 > 0:08:43That was Newton, wasn't it? Did he say that?
0:08:43 > 0:08:46I'm no boffin, but even I know that head plus plastic-covered plank...
0:08:46 > 0:08:48equals ouch!
0:08:48 > 0:08:53On the plus side, I imagine, the water contains a lot of microbiology for Charlie to examine.
0:08:55 > 0:08:56Oh, no!
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Trying to hang on and failing!
0:08:58 > 0:09:01He'll have a lot of microbiology in his trainers by now!
0:09:01 > 0:09:03And Charlie faces the obstacle
0:09:03 > 0:09:06that strikes fear into the hearts of hairy-chested scientists
0:09:06 > 0:09:08the world over! Which strategy will he go for?
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Will he be "hair" today, gone tomorrow?
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Oh, no!
0:09:15 > 0:09:18He's adopted the tripping and plummeting approach! That should put hairs on his chest!
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Not that there's room, really!
0:09:22 > 0:09:27Imagine how long it takes him to dry off afterwards! Does he use a dryer? A towel? I don't know!
0:09:27 > 0:09:28Jet engine?
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Finally it's the Ring-A-Dings!
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Charlie should feel right at home here
0:09:32 > 0:09:35like he's swinging from vine to vine, you see?
0:09:35 > 0:09:36He's off!
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Oh-oh, he's back again!
0:09:38 > 0:09:39And he's off again!
0:09:39 > 0:09:41And he's back again.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43There we go!
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Oh!
0:09:46 > 0:09:48He must weight like a ton now, all waterlogged !
0:09:48 > 0:09:51But Charlie and his chest hair complete the course
0:09:51 > 0:09:52in a respectable 3 minutes 32 seconds.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54# I wanna walk like you... #
0:09:54 > 0:09:55SQUEALING: It's not easy!
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Like a man voiced by a lady!
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Tell me about your chest hair. Did it weigh you down at all?
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Yeah, I did feel a bit of drag, actually!
0:10:02 > 0:10:04That's enough from you, monkey boy!
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Meanwhile, it's all been a bit too much for Ndubisi,
0:10:07 > 0:10:09who appears to be having a royal sleep.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Wake up!
0:10:12 > 0:10:13Oh, the great man stirs...
0:10:14 > 0:10:18..and falls! Now I feel bad, like I actually did that!
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Those Ring-A-Dings really are proving difficult...
0:10:21 > 0:10:23silly, but difficult.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25A true royal variety performance there from Ndubisi
0:10:25 > 0:10:29who finishes with the princely time of 6 minutes 10 seconds.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Does that get the royal seal of approval?
0:10:31 > 0:10:35Yes, yes, yes. Now, where are those fish?
0:10:35 > 0:10:39Give me strength! To think I turned down Panorama for this!
0:10:39 > 0:10:43Now, this is 24-year-old Cherry, a modern languages teacher from Belfast.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45I'm going to be like Speedy Gonzales!
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Arriba, arriba! Andale, andale! HOOTER
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Is that a modern language?
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Right, Speedy Gon-Cherry sped into her face there...
0:10:53 > 0:10:55on the pontoons.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57She's off, nothing can stop her...
0:10:57 > 0:10:59apart from that. That did stop her.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01# Speedy Gonzales... #
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Yeah, her face is taking some punishment already!
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Right, after a slow start she needs to be quick, she needs to be fast...
0:11:10 > 0:11:12And now she needs to get out of that mud.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16The mud really causing Cherry problems here.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22She's trying to, what? Drink it all? Or...?
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Can anyone help her? Anyone?
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Anyone?
0:11:28 > 0:11:29Anyone?
0:11:29 > 0:11:31- TRUMPET BLAST - Ooh, that sounds promising!
0:11:32 > 0:11:34My name's Ollie and I'm no wally!
0:11:34 > 0:11:36CREAKING
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- What are you going to be out there today?- I'm going to be a cross between Alfie Moon,
0:11:39 > 0:11:43a ninja and just someone who's really good at doing Total Wipeout!
0:11:43 > 0:11:47Well, good. Don't worry, Cherry, no-wally Ollie is on his way!
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Some ninja-like jumping there!
0:11:49 > 0:11:52And now some Alfie moon-like running!
0:11:52 > 0:11:53On to the keys!
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Quickstepping technique proves...
0:11:56 > 0:11:57ineffective!
0:11:57 > 0:12:00For one moment, I thought it would work.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03He flew like Superman, then fell like a normal bloke!
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Oh! Oh, I'm so wet!
0:12:07 > 0:12:10Not the most heroic of squeaking noises. I hope Cherry didn't hear it.
0:12:10 > 0:12:11No...
0:12:11 > 0:12:14Too much mud in her ears. Still waiting for rescue!
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Ollie the non-wally tries the Big Balls!
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Honest, he did look like a bit of a wally there!
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Even heroes need to go forwards on the Big Red Balls,
0:12:24 > 0:12:27not just upwards, sideways and downwards and splash!
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Right, this looks promising!
0:12:29 > 0:12:33A confident ninja-like jump on to the red Ring-A-Ding.
0:12:33 > 0:12:34Could he be the first person...?
0:12:35 > 0:12:37No...disappointing.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40# And they say that a hero can save us... #
0:12:40 > 0:12:4321-year-old student no-wally Ollie finishes the course
0:12:43 > 0:12:46in 3 minutes and 3 seconds! Quite impressive,
0:12:46 > 0:12:49And even more impressive is he managed to save Cherry...
0:12:49 > 0:12:51No, wait a minute! He forgot to save Cherry!
0:12:51 > 0:12:53What a wally!
0:12:53 > 0:12:54Cherry, bad news, I'm afraid.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58No-wally Ollie has forgotten about you and this is, well, awkward!
0:12:58 > 0:13:02But, fear not, Speedy Gon-Cherry can rely on her cat-like agility
0:13:02 > 0:13:04to get over the Big Red...
0:13:04 > 0:13:05Oh!
0:13:05 > 0:13:06Oh, well!
0:13:08 > 0:13:11But Cherry does utilise her incredible muscular flexibility!
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Look, her feet there, kicking the back of her own head!
0:13:14 > 0:13:16That's difficult!
0:13:16 > 0:13:20Speedy Gon-Cherry finally completes the course in 6 minutes 16 seconds.
0:13:20 > 0:13:25A real, live Mexican mouse would have been quicker than that!
0:13:41 > 0:13:46But there are still 14 contestants to run, so it's time to crack on!
0:13:46 > 0:13:50So far today it's Qualifier 8, contestants 0.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53What we need is someone to teach that course a jolly good lesson,
0:13:53 > 0:13:58and who better than today's next contender, 25-year-old Shaun from Manchester
0:13:58 > 0:14:00who's a maths teacher?
0:14:00 > 0:14:04Me plus Wipeout equals...winner!
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Yeah, we'll be the judge of that, Shaun, if you don't mind!
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Shaun plus slippery slope
0:14:08 > 0:14:10equals a big splash! There you go!
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Shaun now needs to formulate the ultimate solution
0:14:16 > 0:14:18to beat the Crazy Keys. Has he got his calculations right?
0:14:18 > 0:14:22Ooh, so far so good! Lucky escape for Shaun, but he's still on!
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Looks like he's done his homework here!
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Ho-ho! Maybe not!
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Let's see that one again!
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Yeah, got his working wrong there!
0:14:30 > 0:14:31Getting an F-minus for that!
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Shaun plus Crazy Keys equals
0:14:34 > 0:14:36pain for Shaun!
0:14:36 > 0:14:39His school report so far reads "must try harder"!
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Shaun on the Big Red Balls!
0:14:41 > 0:14:43He jumps he bounces...he splashes.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46He taught those Big Red Balls a lesson!
0:14:47 > 0:14:50So can Shaun be the first to traverse the Ring-A-Dings?
0:14:50 > 0:14:5211 colourful hoops plus a 15-foot drop!
0:14:52 > 0:14:56You do the maths... or math, as the Americans say.
0:14:56 > 0:14:57Why do they say that?
0:14:57 > 0:15:00It's maths. Not doing too well by the looks of things.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01No...
0:15:01 > 0:15:03No.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07So maths teacher Shaun finished in 4 minutes 7 seconds,
0:15:07 > 0:15:09minus his dignity!
0:15:09 > 0:15:11So, Shaun...
0:15:11 > 0:15:15plus the Qualifier now equals...
0:15:15 > 0:15:16Knackered!
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Shaun isn't the only teacher who's found the time to come to Argentina today.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Must be the school holidays.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Let's meet his rivals for title of teacher's pet.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28PE teacher Emily from London.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Kids, do as I say not as I do!
0:15:30 > 0:15:35And all stand, please, class, it's head teacher, Jeremy from Norfolk.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37If I don't get round the course, I'm going to put myself in detention!
0:15:37 > 0:15:41All of these teachers are going to regret this, but who will be getting the gold star,
0:15:41 > 0:15:43and who will be wearing the dunce's hat?
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Who will have a scrap of dignity left when they're back at school?
0:15:46 > 0:15:47None of them!
0:15:47 > 0:15:50Jeremy leads by example and goes head first into the water.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54At the Crazy Keys, Emily fares no better.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58Emily's given a physical education. She'll be off games for a couple of weeks!
0:15:58 > 0:16:02# I got to go back to school... #
0:16:02 > 0:16:06Jeremy. Big Balls. Sorry, sir. That sounded wrong when I said that.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09Jeremy trying to get down with the kids there,
0:16:09 > 0:16:11bit of crazy-legs break-dancing
0:16:11 > 0:16:13and ends up face down in the water.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Emily's turn and she...
0:16:18 > 0:16:20teaches us a new kneeling skid technique.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23The kids will have seen all of this.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Can either of them do the impossible and complete the rings?
0:16:26 > 0:16:31Jeremy hits the deck first, closely followed by Emily. Surely these rings are too hard?
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Jeremy clocks in with a time of 4 minutes and 20 seconds,
0:16:34 > 0:16:38just behind Emily who completes the course in 3 minutes and 49 seconds,
0:16:38 > 0:16:42making her the teacher's pet and Jeremy the class clown!
0:16:44 > 0:16:46The teachers have had their turn.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50So now it's time for a student, 20-year-old Adrian from London.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53Does he have the confidence to defeat the Qualifier?
0:16:53 > 0:16:55I'm the jack of all trades, so watch this space!
0:16:55 > 0:16:59Shout to everyone in my phone, shout to everyone who wants to be in my phone.
0:16:59 > 0:17:00Mmm, that'll be a yes, then!
0:17:00 > 0:17:04Is there anybody you know out straight you're going to beat easy?
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Well, the girls can just move aside.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11They might get far-ish. Well done for the girls, but there's no girls winning!
0:17:11 > 0:17:16- That's not very nice. What does your girlfriend think of that? - Oh, no, I'm single!
0:17:16 > 0:17:17Funny, that, Adrian!
0:17:18 > 0:17:22I'm not Usain Bolt, I'm not Michael Phelps, but I'm close enough! Come on!
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Well, I'm neither of them either!
0:17:24 > 0:17:27OK, expect Olympic level sprinting and swimming...
0:17:27 > 0:17:30That actually was part-Bolt part-Phelps when he started.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33I'm sure all you ladies out there are rooting for Adrian
0:17:33 > 0:17:36after his outburst earlier, including my daughters. He's...
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Hang on, he's hanging on!
0:17:37 > 0:17:39He's hanging on, he's determined.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Mmm...bit of justice maybe for the ladies there.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Looks like that hasn't slowed him down though
0:17:44 > 0:17:45as he powers through the water.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49Single Adrian looks determined at the Sucker Punch...
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Oh!
0:17:51 > 0:17:52I should have said,
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Mrs Eduardo is operating the bonus punch there today.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56She didn't like what he said!
0:17:58 > 0:17:59Single Adrian up and out the mud
0:17:59 > 0:18:01on to the Big Balls!
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Here we go!
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Oh!
0:18:05 > 0:18:07On the rebound?
0:18:07 > 0:18:11Well, that relationship didn't last very long and now he really is on the rebound.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14That would make a great singles ad.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18Adrian, falls off a lot of things, but has a great sense of humour!
0:18:20 > 0:18:25He'll need that good sense of humour right now, because it's Ring-A-Dings time!
0:18:25 > 0:18:27But maybe single Adrian has figured out
0:18:27 > 0:18:29there's a way to defeat these things.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31No, he hasn't, has he?
0:18:31 > 0:18:35On the plus side, Adrian hauls himself on to the podium
0:18:35 > 0:18:38in the fastest time of the day so far, 2 minutes 49.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41On the minus side, he is still single.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45Those Ring-A-Dings really are proving extremely difficult.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Usually when Eduardo finds old tyres lying around,
0:18:48 > 0:18:51he just tosses them on to his giant family barbecue.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53But not this time.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57His kids might be missing the distinctive taste of rubber-smoked beefburgers,
0:18:57 > 0:19:01but that's our game, because instead we've got the Ring-A-Dings!
0:19:01 > 0:19:03# Monkey, monkey, monkey
0:19:04 > 0:19:06# Monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey
0:19:07 > 0:19:10# Monkey, monkey, monkey... #
0:19:10 > 0:19:13Every technique used so far today has failed.
0:19:13 > 0:19:17So what approach will 23-year-old waitress Lisa use?
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Are you in a bit of a pickle, Lisa?
0:19:19 > 0:19:20Aaargh!
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Nice, the upside-down approach!
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Yeah, another method that just doesn't really work.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28She didn't have to wait long before she hit the water!
0:19:28 > 0:19:32If anyone can beat the Ring-A-Dings, sure it's Rambo?
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Sorry, I mean 51-year-old Iain, a photographer from Devon.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37I can run 100 miles!
0:19:37 > 0:19:39I can usually beat the best!
0:19:39 > 0:19:44I've been working on me guns so let's put them to the test!
0:19:47 > 0:19:50And the Rings draw first blood from Rambo!
0:19:50 > 0:19:53So how about 31-year-old cake designer Amy from Northumberland?
0:19:53 > 0:19:54PHRRRT!
0:19:54 > 0:19:59I'm going to run, run as fast as I can. You won't catch me, I'm like a gingerbread man!
0:19:59 > 0:20:02Work those hips, Amy! Work those hips!
0:20:02 > 0:20:06That's what I thought! Amy's used to dealing with a different kind of colourful sponge!
0:20:06 > 0:20:10Is anyone ever going to get across these rings today?
0:20:10 > 0:20:12# Everybody look, yeah, yeah. #
0:20:12 > 0:20:15The next contestant hoping to ding-a-ling-ling those Ring-A-Dings
0:20:15 > 0:20:18is 25-year-old cheerleader Ellie from Blackpool.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Total Wipeout, here I come,
0:20:20 > 0:20:22watch out, guys, I'm number one!
0:20:22 > 0:20:24She's at the Crazy Keys.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27Oh, great recovery there from Ellie,
0:20:27 > 0:20:28managing to keep her head above water...
0:20:28 > 0:20:29but not for long!
0:20:29 > 0:20:31I didn't help saying what I said.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35No cheering necessary here! She's useless without her pompoms!
0:20:36 > 0:20:40I think it's even given Ellie a little shock by the look on her face!
0:20:42 > 0:20:43Now for the Big Red Balls.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45She has composure, she has balance...
0:20:45 > 0:20:47and now she has a face full of water!
0:20:47 > 0:20:50Two, four, six, eight,
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Big Balls she doesn't appre... I'm not a cheerleader! What can I do?
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Which way?
0:20:59 > 0:21:00This way!
0:21:01 > 0:21:04The opposite way to the way you just came!
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Despite her lack of pompoms and direction,
0:21:06 > 0:21:10Ellie completes the Qualifier in a time of 3 minutes and 49 seconds.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13What about your big, big pompoms over there, the Big Red Balls?
0:21:13 > 0:21:17I fell off everything. I was rubbish!
0:21:17 > 0:21:20With 14 runners having now tackled the Qualifier,
0:21:20 > 0:21:22the leader board looks like this...
0:21:40 > 0:21:45Next on the Qualifier is 41-year-old motorbike enthusiast Jane from Dorset...
0:21:45 > 0:21:47whose trousers don't fit.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51My name's Jane and I've got a motorbike,
0:21:51 > 0:21:55so I'm going to pull my throttle and ride like the wind! Vroom!
0:21:55 > 0:22:00I love motorbikes too and if I had my way I'd let everyone go round the course on two wheels!
0:22:00 > 0:22:01It would make it better!
0:22:01 > 0:22:07See? That's fantastic! My dream TV show! Junior Total Kick Start Wipeout!
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Anyway, bikeless, off goes Jane.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Here she comes, little, bouncy Jane!
0:22:14 > 0:22:18Let's hope the Crazy Keys don't stall her bid for glory.
0:22:19 > 0:22:20Oh, yowza!
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Straddling the Crazy Keys is not be recommended, kids!
0:22:23 > 0:22:27Lucky she didn't have a motorbike. The engine would have flooded there.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Still, she's undeterred and attempts the second set
0:22:31 > 0:22:33of Crazy Keys...which...
0:22:33 > 0:22:36ends up with the same result.
0:22:36 > 0:22:37I can't look!
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Well, you must look! That's the whole point of this show!
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Double header, front of head and back of head,
0:22:42 > 0:22:44twice the pain, bang, bang!
0:22:44 > 0:22:46This is where Jane can really kick-start her challenge
0:22:46 > 0:22:48- on the Big Balls! - MUSIC: "Carmina Burana"
0:22:48 > 0:22:49Here we go!
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Oh! Oooh!
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Oh, that looked painful!
0:22:53 > 0:22:58Hang on a minute! Everything seems wonderful when the Junior Kick Start theme plays.
0:22:58 > 0:23:02- MUSIC: "Junior Kick Start Theme" - See what I mean? Feels better! I am happy!
0:23:02 > 0:23:07Kick-Start Jane motors round the course in 3 minutes and 56 seconds.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Will that be enough to see her through to Crash Mountain?
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Seriously, on bikes, we could do it!
0:23:13 > 0:23:14Can I come down?
0:23:17 > 0:23:19When you were on your two feet, standing upright,
0:23:19 > 0:23:22- in fairness, you were pretty speedy. - Oh, good...
0:23:22 > 0:23:24That wasn't very often!
0:23:24 > 0:23:26No!
0:23:27 > 0:23:32The next two contestants are here to settle an argument as old as time itself.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36Who would reign supreme round a course of foam plastic stupidity,
0:23:36 > 0:23:39PC Plod or Fireman Sam?
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Unfortunately, neither of them are real, so we'll never know,
0:23:42 > 0:23:44but in their place are two of Cheltenham's finest!
0:23:46 > 0:23:48For the Old Bill, it's 28-year-old Kim the copper.
0:23:48 > 0:23:53Big Balls, Big Balls, what are you going to do, what are you going to do when I come for you?
0:23:53 > 0:23:56And for the fire brigade, it's 44-year-old fire-fighter
0:23:56 > 0:23:59and part-time window cleaner Smoking' Jo.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02Fire, fire, I'll extinguish this course.
0:24:02 > 0:24:02Shouting!
0:24:02 > 0:24:05So Kim the copper begins the battle of the services...
0:24:05 > 0:24:07That's a good start.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10On to the podium.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Meanwhile Jo's on the Crazy Keys.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Oh! Her hopes just got extinguished.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18Her long legs got her into a little bit of trouble there by the look of things.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20I would say that hurt quite a lot.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Kim's go now.
0:24:22 > 0:24:23Oh!
0:24:23 > 0:24:26Thank goodness there isn't an actual emergency on the course.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Kim the copper just got assaulted by a Crazy Key!
0:24:31 > 0:24:35Smokin' Jo looks ready for a fight. On to the Sucker Punch.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37Oh, and she gets one,
0:24:37 > 0:24:39taking it on the chin for her troubles!
0:24:39 > 0:24:42I bet she'd rather be rescuing a cat from a tree right now!
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Kim back on the case and taking on the Big Red Balls.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Here she goes!
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Yes...
0:24:51 > 0:24:51Oh, weird!
0:24:51 > 0:24:55She aimed right between two of the balls! Did there used to be another one there?
0:24:55 > 0:24:58Has it been stolen? Was it the one and a half is missing?
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Jo's go now.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02And forget the fire brigade. Call the lifeguards!
0:25:02 > 0:25:06Fire-fighter and part-time window cleaner Jo must be used to ladders.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09I mean, they are central to her work.
0:25:09 > 0:25:10What happened there?
0:25:10 > 0:25:14I'm not sure I'd trust her with my windows or rescuing my cat!
0:25:16 > 0:25:20And so Smokin' Jo completes the course in 3 minutes and 23 seconds.
0:25:21 > 0:25:25- Not that you've never fallen off a ladder before! - How embarrassing is that, eh?
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Tell me what the boys at the station will think of that performance.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31Er...I don't think I'll ever hear the end of it.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35But Kim the copper emerges victorious with an impressive time
0:25:35 > 0:25:39of 2 minutes 52 seconds. That's a win to the boys and girls in blue!
0:25:38 > 0:25:43I'm here at the start of the Qualifier in the presence of holiness.
0:25:43 > 0:25:47So, Jim from Perth, tell me what is that you do?
0:25:47 > 0:25:51Amanda, I'm a Church of Scotland minister and I've been one for 14 years.
0:25:52 > 0:25:57Yeah, the old "using the big chap upstairs to look after you" trick, eh? Let's see if it works, Jim!
0:25:57 > 0:26:00And so Holy Jim begins his crusade.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03What was that? No parting of the Wipeout sea for him!
0:26:03 > 0:26:07Maybe a bit of faith will get Jim across the Crazy Keys.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09It's working, it's working...
0:26:09 > 0:26:10it's failing him.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Oh, holy moly!
0:26:12 > 0:26:16It hurt, that's the main thing. You need to have 90% faith, 10% pure luck.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19And an extra 100% of padding.
0:26:19 > 0:26:23Holy Jim could do with a miraculous Ball crossing now...
0:26:24 > 0:26:29Look at that! Holy Jim has left an ungodly mess to clean up on that Red Ball there!
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Like a Turin Shroud, Jim getting his face on there!
0:26:32 > 0:26:36Will the Ring-A-Dings administer some treatment of their own?
0:26:36 > 0:26:38That was a pun, it was a pun!
0:26:38 > 0:26:39Sorry.
0:26:43 > 0:26:47Holy Jim completes the course in a time of 3 minutes and 21 seconds.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50And his performance should stand him in good stead for the next life...
0:26:50 > 0:26:52next round, I mean!
0:26:53 > 0:26:57This is 31-year-old Barry from Leeds, and guess what his job is?
0:26:57 > 0:27:00Yeah, he's a tennis umpire... obviously.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03But he used to be a wrestler.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Yeah, that's enough, thank you. Stop it!
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Can you give me a bit of a wrestling demonstration?
0:27:07 > 0:27:10- Don't say that!- Aieeee! - Why would you ask for that?
0:27:10 > 0:27:13Glad he put Amanda down before attempting the course.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15He's surprisingly dainty, isn't he, delicate?
0:27:16 > 0:27:17Oh!
0:27:17 > 0:27:18Right in the face!
0:27:19 > 0:27:22Oh, that's got to be nasty!
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Wrestling V boxing now on the Sucker Punch.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26They say wrestling's faked,
0:27:26 > 0:27:28but you can't fake that, can you?
0:27:28 > 0:27:32That's real, he actually did fall in the mud, bum first!
0:27:32 > 0:27:35New-balls Barry challenges the Big Balls now...fearless...
0:27:35 > 0:27:37and hopeless.
0:27:37 > 0:27:42If Barry had landed on a wrestler instead of some water, that would have been a sweet move!
0:27:46 > 0:27:48He's got his beard wet.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50It'll take some ringing out, that!
0:27:50 > 0:27:52New-balls Barry's final time is
0:27:52 > 0:27:563 minutes 41, and that should just about see him through to round 2.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59Pretty surprised you're still in one piece after that!
0:27:59 > 0:28:02Thank you... Your concern touches me.
0:28:03 > 0:28:08Last to take on the Qualifier is Katie and it says here she's the daughter of A Lamb...
0:28:08 > 0:28:10- BLEATING - What? Beg your pardon!
0:28:10 > 0:28:14It says she is the daughter of Allan Lamb, the former England cricket captain.
0:28:14 > 0:28:17I've made a big list of cricket puns and I'm ready to use them!
0:28:17 > 0:28:19Prepare to be bowled over!
0:28:19 > 0:28:22I'll have to cross that one off the list now. I was going to use it.
0:28:24 > 0:28:26Now that's a pace attack!
0:28:26 > 0:28:31100% commitment down the slide and she's rewarded with 100% whack in the face!
0:28:31 > 0:28:35The Sucker Punch is less leg before wicket and leg over boxing glove...
0:28:36 > 0:28:38Mr Lamb, she's doing very well.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43Yes, Katie becomes the first maiden over the Sucker Punch today!
0:28:43 > 0:28:46You see? That takes some working out.
0:28:46 > 0:28:49I'm exhausted. Her dad was used to small red balls,
0:28:49 > 0:28:51how will Katie deal with big bouncy ones?
0:28:51 > 0:28:53Oh, she goes for a duck!
0:28:53 > 0:28:55That bowling action is clearly hereditary!
0:28:55 > 0:28:58And, look, some good spinning action at the end there too.
0:28:58 > 0:29:03# Come fly with me Let's fly, let's fly away... #
0:29:04 > 0:29:06And Katie lamby Lamb
0:29:06 > 0:29:09completes her innings with a time of 3 minutes and 14.
0:29:11 > 0:29:13All I can say is, "Bring it on, Dad!"
0:29:13 > 0:29:17So all 20 contestants have now run the Qualifier.
0:29:33 > 0:29:35So the Qualifier comes to an end,
0:29:35 > 0:29:39and, with it, so do the hopes and dreams of eight contestants.
0:29:39 > 0:29:42As is customary at this point, it's time for a moment of reflection
0:29:42 > 0:29:45and some slow-motion replays of those fallen by the wayside,
0:29:45 > 0:29:48accompanied by a soaring, emotional soundtrack.
0:29:48 > 0:29:52The question is will that music be Westlife, Coldplay or Leona Lewis?
0:29:52 > 0:29:54Bet you a fiver it's Leona!
0:29:54 > 0:29:57MUSIC: "A Moment Like This" by Leona Lewis
0:30:26 > 0:30:28Thank you very much!
0:30:28 > 0:30:34Now, forget about what's just been lost, whether it's eight contestants or a five-pound note!
0:30:35 > 0:30:38Because it's time to get on with the action. It is Crash Mountain!
0:30:44 > 0:30:47The 12 remaining contestants now face Crash Mountain.
0:30:47 > 0:30:51Which, not a lot of people know, also auditioned for a part on another BBC show...
0:30:51 > 0:30:54Exterminate! Exterminate!
0:30:54 > 0:30:58Having failed the audition, the Dalek reject was flown economy to Argentina
0:30:58 > 0:31:00and given a new lease of life.
0:31:02 > 0:31:06The contestants need to get across the large red walkway that goes one way,
0:31:06 > 0:31:09whilst and even larger red-and-blue battering ram goes the other.
0:31:09 > 0:31:14The first five to reach the middle of Crash Mountain will progress to Dizzy Dummies.
0:31:14 > 0:31:16Here's a reminder of the 12 remaining contestants.
0:31:17 > 0:31:20On podiums 1 and 2,
0:31:20 > 0:31:22luscious-lips Lisa and man-mountain Syed.
0:31:22 > 0:31:25- If I don't win, no-one is! - You tell them, big guy!
0:31:25 > 0:31:28On 3 and 4, Kim the copper...
0:31:28 > 0:31:30This cop isn't going to drop!
0:31:30 > 0:31:31..And no-wally Ollie.
0:31:31 > 0:31:36making up the first half dozen, it's Holy Jim and Smokin' Jo!
0:31:36 > 0:31:39Adrian, your fire's going right out!
0:31:40 > 0:31:43On podiums 7 and 8...pompom Ellie...
0:31:43 > 0:31:47There may be six women and six men, but there's women going through today!
0:31:47 > 0:31:49No!
0:31:50 > 0:31:51And single Adrian.
0:31:51 > 0:31:55I was the fastest on the Qualifier, so say no more!
0:31:55 > 0:31:57Boo!
0:31:58 > 0:32:00On 9 and 10, Katy the Lamb...
0:32:00 > 0:32:04You might be able to walk on water, but I can run on air!
0:32:04 > 0:32:07What does that actually mean? And PE Emily.
0:32:07 > 0:32:10Making up the dirty dozen... new-balls Barry
0:32:10 > 0:32:11and chest-hair Charlie.
0:32:11 > 0:32:15I had a nightmare last night that the god of game shows
0:32:15 > 0:32:18created the most devastating game known to mankind,
0:32:18 > 0:32:23and when I woke up this morning, look what I found at the bottom of my bed! It's Crash Mountain!
0:32:23 > 0:32:25Are you all ready?
0:32:25 > 0:32:27Yeah!
0:32:27 > 0:32:30In your dreams! Three, two, one!
0:32:30 > 0:32:33HOOTER
0:32:33 > 0:32:38The spinning begins which means that jumping, running and falling are now imminent.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40Smokin' Jo gets her falling underway very quickly.
0:32:40 > 0:32:42Now new-balls Barry gives it a go.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44Maybe his arm tassels softened the fall for him.
0:32:44 > 0:32:46What was he thinking?
0:32:46 > 0:32:48Holy Jim tries the blind-faith approach.
0:32:48 > 0:32:51Single Adrian also falls.
0:32:54 > 0:32:57No-wally Ollie... looks like a bit of a wally there.
0:32:57 > 0:32:59Pompom Ellie falls...
0:32:59 > 0:33:00Katy the Lamb falls.
0:33:00 > 0:33:04Chest-hair Charlie falls. Is there anyone left to fall?
0:33:04 > 0:33:07This is Crash Mountain carnage!
0:33:07 > 0:33:08PE Emily...
0:33:08 > 0:33:10face full of plastic!
0:33:10 > 0:33:12Luscious-lips Lisa tries...
0:33:12 > 0:33:13and falls.
0:33:17 > 0:33:20Single Adrian back for more...
0:33:20 > 0:33:21swimming, that is!
0:33:24 > 0:33:29- Give it another go! Get in there! - Holy Jim...
0:33:29 > 0:33:30Holy moly!
0:33:30 > 0:33:33Our Father, deliver him to the middle, please.
0:33:36 > 0:33:41No-one's got even close yet. Could new-balls Barry change all that?
0:33:41 > 0:33:42No.
0:33:45 > 0:33:49And they all started off so gung-ho, but now they're looking much more anxious.
0:33:49 > 0:33:52- My legs are shaking!- Come on, someone do it, for goodness' sake!
0:33:54 > 0:33:57Single Adrian goes for it and he's there!
0:33:57 > 0:34:00First one across and about time too!
0:34:00 > 0:34:03Cometh the hour, cometh the ladies' man!
0:34:03 > 0:34:05Is that a Buddhist mantra? Should be. It is now!
0:34:05 > 0:34:09So who will join that lucky so-and-so in the middle?
0:34:09 > 0:34:14How does he do it? The man never works out, always wins things!
0:34:15 > 0:34:19Kim's fallen in. Now pompom Ellie is on the paddle.
0:34:19 > 0:34:20Come on, Ellie!
0:34:24 > 0:34:26She's up...
0:34:29 > 0:34:33And now Ellie understands why the show's called Total Wipeout!
0:34:33 > 0:34:35Cos she was totally!
0:34:36 > 0:34:37Pretty good, Total Wipeout.
0:34:37 > 0:34:40Syed and Lisa both jump... and both fall.
0:34:40 > 0:34:42Two for the price of one!
0:34:45 > 0:34:48Emily gets safely on to the paddle.
0:34:48 > 0:34:50Come on!
0:34:54 > 0:34:56Ooh!
0:34:56 > 0:34:59Oh! And then unsafely knocked off it.
0:35:00 > 0:35:04Still only Adrian has actually made it to the centre.
0:35:04 > 0:35:05Who's joining me next?
0:35:06 > 0:35:09Now Smokin' Jo launches an attempt.
0:35:09 > 0:35:10Nearly there...yes!
0:35:11 > 0:35:14She's just redeemed herself having fallen off a ladder.
0:35:14 > 0:35:16She's still not cleaning my windows!
0:35:16 > 0:35:20So single Adrian and Smokin' Jo are through. Three places remain,
0:35:20 > 0:35:22but who will fill them?
0:35:22 > 0:35:26Will it be pompom Ellie, new-balls Barry, man-mountain Syed,
0:35:26 > 0:35:30Katy the Lamb, luscious-lips Lisa, chest-hair Charlie,
0:35:30 > 0:35:35PE Emily, Kim the copper, no-wally Ollie or Holy Jim?
0:35:39 > 0:35:40Ollie...dashes across...
0:35:40 > 0:35:43and, oh, not quite!
0:35:44 > 0:35:46Here comes Holy Jim.
0:35:46 > 0:35:48No! Within touching distance!
0:35:48 > 0:35:50Oh, so close, Jim!
0:35:50 > 0:35:53She's back already. Emily is on to the paddle this time.
0:35:54 > 0:35:57Emily ducks the sweeping arm... and again...
0:35:58 > 0:35:59..and again...
0:35:59 > 0:36:00Come on, Emily!
0:36:00 > 0:36:04She's going to have to run in a moment.
0:36:05 > 0:36:09Oh, not that moment, though! Wrong one! I'm sure she'll be back for another go, though.
0:36:09 > 0:36:12Here comes Kim the copper now.
0:36:12 > 0:36:16Jo the fire-fighter has made it on. Can Kim join her?
0:36:16 > 0:36:17Come on, Kim!
0:36:19 > 0:36:21Oh! Call an ambulance!
0:36:27 > 0:36:31- No-wally Ollie now sprints... and makes it!- Yes!
0:36:31 > 0:36:35- That's three in the middle, two places left.- What a relief!
0:36:35 > 0:36:39Katy the Lamb springs into action and she's across too. Effortless.
0:36:39 > 0:36:44Four places taken now. When I say effortless, obviously, it wasn't, it was hard.
0:36:44 > 0:36:47Just one place remains, but who will get there first? Will it be luscious-lips Lisa?
0:36:47 > 0:36:50Man-mountain Syed? Kim the copper?
0:36:50 > 0:36:52Holy Jim? Pompom Ellie?
0:36:52 > 0:36:56PE Emily? New-balls Barry? Or chest-hair Charlie?
0:36:56 > 0:36:58One place left!
0:36:58 > 0:37:00Kim making a bid now.
0:37:01 > 0:37:02Ooh!
0:37:02 > 0:37:03OK!
0:37:03 > 0:37:06Oh! And it was a losing bid!
0:37:06 > 0:37:08Pompom Ellie runs along the paddle
0:37:08 > 0:37:10and then veers off it.
0:37:10 > 0:37:12Syed now, straight on and straight off.
0:37:13 > 0:37:15Charlie looking good here...
0:37:15 > 0:37:18No! Lost his balance at the last minute!
0:37:18 > 0:37:19Come on, everyone,
0:37:19 > 0:37:23or we'll need to send out for more AA batteries to keep the thing going!
0:37:23 > 0:37:25OK, Syed's fully on the paddle this time.
0:37:25 > 0:37:26If I blow you, you'll get there, Look.
0:37:27 > 0:37:30Yeah! Anyway, Syed gets to his feet
0:37:30 > 0:37:32and he's made it!
0:37:32 > 0:37:34Yeah!
0:37:35 > 0:37:38See? My blowing tactics worked!
0:37:38 > 0:37:40OK, let's move on and leave her unawares.
0:37:40 > 0:37:44So the final five have made it to the centre of Crash Mountain... eventually.
0:37:44 > 0:37:47These five can celebrate.
0:37:47 > 0:37:51But for the seven losers it's buenos noches, Buenos Aires.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59I'm dreading going back to school on Monday, I'm really dreading it.
0:37:59 > 0:38:02They're not going to let me live this down at all.
0:38:02 > 0:38:03As the thing goes round,
0:38:03 > 0:38:04it just doesn't hold my weight.
0:38:04 > 0:38:06It actually gives a little bit,
0:38:06 > 0:38:07I wasn't expecting that.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09Unless I'm just too fat!
0:38:10 > 0:38:12I'm so gutted I'm out. I was so close.
0:38:12 > 0:38:16I gave it my best shot, and, yeah, I crashed out.
0:38:16 > 0:38:20It was basically an experiment that went wrong on my behalf.
0:38:22 > 0:38:24Today the fire-fighter came out on top.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26In reality, the girls in blue do it all the time.
0:38:26 > 0:38:29I think Adrian's going to win. perhaps,
0:38:29 > 0:38:31but it would be nice to see our good brother and friend
0:38:31 > 0:38:33just have a wee slip, that would be nice!
0:38:34 > 0:38:37Forgive and forget, surely, Jim?
0:38:37 > 0:38:40Anyway, let's not worry about that lot. They're losers!
0:38:40 > 0:38:43Time to focus on the winners. And I've got to say my money is on Adrian.
0:38:43 > 0:38:46Fastest on the Qualifier and the first to ascend Crash Mountain.
0:38:46 > 0:38:50I bet my recently won fiver that he wins this thing.
0:38:50 > 0:38:54No, I bet a fiver and my car and my house and the shirt off my back
0:38:54 > 0:38:59that Adrian wins today's show. Easy money! Time for Dizzy Dummies!
0:39:05 > 0:39:10Here's how it works. The five remaining contestants are strapped into that fast-rotating machine
0:39:10 > 0:39:13for as long as Argentinean laws permit.
0:39:13 > 0:39:15Then, dizzy, sick and confused,
0:39:15 > 0:39:19they will all receive a good hosing as they make their way to the carousel goal.
0:39:19 > 0:39:24After getting over the goalposts, they must cross the lubed-up pipe bridge...
0:39:24 > 0:39:27The first four across then have to go through the same again,
0:39:27 > 0:39:31except this time, instead of the pipe bridge they must get across the Blueberries
0:39:31 > 0:39:34whilst getting dodgeballed in the noggin.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37The last contestant is eliminated, leaving behind today's Wipeout finalists.
0:39:40 > 0:39:44The Qualifier? Kind of tricky. Crash Mountain? Taking the mickey!
0:39:44 > 0:39:48Dizzy Dummies? Yeah, you've guessed it! Time to get sicky!
0:39:48 > 0:39:50Are you all ready?
0:39:52 > 0:39:55Pass the sick bag! Three, two, one!
0:39:55 > 0:39:57HOOTER
0:39:57 > 0:40:00Right, a reminder of today's five Dizzy Dummies...
0:40:01 > 0:40:07He won the Qualifier, he was first on to Crash Mountain, he's really good. It's single Adrian!
0:40:07 > 0:40:09She's a fire-fighter and part-time window cleaner...
0:40:09 > 0:40:13and, yeah, she fell off a ladder in the Qualifier, it's Smoking' Jo!
0:40:13 > 0:40:15Adrian, your fire's going right out!
0:40:16 > 0:40:21He's blasted his way through to Dizzy Dummies, it's man-mountain Syed.
0:40:21 > 0:40:22Bangladesh!
0:40:22 > 0:40:26She's Allan's daughter and Larry's sister, it's Katy the Lamb.
0:40:26 > 0:40:28Prepare to be bowled over!
0:40:28 > 0:40:33He's a cross between Alfie Moon and a ninja, well, according to him anyway! It's no-wally Ollie!
0:40:33 > 0:40:34My name's Ollie and I'm no wally!
0:40:42 > 0:40:44The Dummies are released.
0:40:44 > 0:40:47And, as predicted, Adrian is off to a flyer!
0:40:47 > 0:40:52The stragglers are still getting a hosing, but Adrian's up and already over the goalpost.
0:40:52 > 0:40:54My bet's looking good!
0:40:54 > 0:40:56Single Adrian on to the pipe bridge.
0:40:56 > 0:40:58Waddles along...
0:40:59 > 0:41:01Oh! I wonder what caused him to fall there!
0:41:01 > 0:41:06Oh, yeah! Could be all the grease. Doesn't make it any easier.
0:41:06 > 0:41:09Back at the carousel, Joe falls, this time, though, not from a ladder.
0:41:09 > 0:41:11Syed and Katie...
0:41:11 > 0:41:16synchronised falling! It's like Torvill and Dean at their peak... sort of.
0:41:16 > 0:41:18Top marks.
0:41:18 > 0:41:23Now, Ollie's over the goalposts too, whilst everyone else falls around him.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25Ollie on the pipes.
0:41:25 > 0:41:30Slips...on the grease once again, looking a bit of a wally there if we're honest, Ollie.
0:41:30 > 0:41:335-foot-2 Syed having a problem with the goalpost.
0:41:33 > 0:41:37Being small is nothing to laugh at, Amanda!
0:41:38 > 0:41:39Syed!
0:41:40 > 0:41:41Go on, Syed, show her!
0:41:42 > 0:41:44No!
0:41:44 > 0:41:48I meant, show her how good small folk can be, not show her how to fall into the water!
0:41:48 > 0:41:50Never mind!
0:41:53 > 0:41:56Adrian, the coolest cucumber in town!
0:41:56 > 0:41:57Oh!
0:41:59 > 0:42:01I think his cucumber just got a bit cooler.
0:42:04 > 0:42:07Ollie seems to be taking a little tea break here.
0:42:07 > 0:42:10He isn't quite demonstrating the urgency required. Come on!
0:42:11 > 0:42:13Go on! Go on!
0:42:14 > 0:42:15Or the balance!
0:42:17 > 0:42:19Smokin' Jo makes a dash for it...
0:42:20 > 0:42:22And she's nearly there! Hold on, Jo!
0:42:25 > 0:42:30- And Jo becomes the first person to make it to safety.- She's on fire!
0:42:30 > 0:42:31Now Katy jumps for it.
0:42:31 > 0:42:34- Can she hold on?- Oh!
0:42:34 > 0:42:37Slowly edges up on to the pontoon. Yes!
0:42:37 > 0:42:40Mr Lamb, she's done you proud!
0:42:40 > 0:42:42Yeah!
0:42:42 > 0:42:45Looks like she even surprised herself with that!
0:42:50 > 0:42:54Both of our girls are through to the next round...of Dizzy Dummies.
0:42:54 > 0:42:59I'll be honest...I'm a teensy bit concerned about my bet on Adrian now. I'm sure it'll be fine.
0:42:59 > 0:43:00It'll be OK.
0:43:00 > 0:43:03OK, so now Ollie's across too.
0:43:03 > 0:43:04Oh, Adrian's down again!
0:43:04 > 0:43:08Oh, my goodness, Syed's about to beat Adrian!
0:43:08 > 0:43:12- Go on, Syed!- I'm guessing that gap must look pretty huge when you're 5 foot 2!
0:43:12 > 0:43:14I'm taller than that, by the way!
0:43:14 > 0:43:17- I can't jump that far!- You've got to jump, man, you've got to jump!
0:43:17 > 0:43:22Syed is now a couple of feet away from defeating today's strongest contestant so far,
0:43:22 > 0:43:24but he needs to make this jump. He needs to do this!
0:43:25 > 0:43:27He's brave, he's going to do it...
0:43:32 > 0:43:35And he's...done it!
0:43:35 > 0:43:39Incredible! The man mountain rocks the Dizzy Dummies!
0:43:43 > 0:43:45I do not believe this!
0:43:47 > 0:43:52That is the look of a man who has literally been beaten...
0:43:54 > 0:43:56You must be absolutely gutted,
0:43:56 > 0:43:59because I know, from speaking to you this morning, that you had every intention
0:43:59 > 0:44:03of beating all of the girls, and two chicks have just beaten you, Adrian!
0:44:03 > 0:44:05It was the Vaseline on the...
0:44:05 > 0:44:09on the... No, it was. Look, my hand's all greasy... Do you want some?
0:44:09 > 0:44:12The girls had the Vaseline too!
0:44:12 > 0:44:15Yeah, but... I did say the girls won't win it, so...
0:44:16 > 0:44:19- ..Syed or Ollie...I'm still going to put my money on them!- Adrian!
0:44:21 > 0:44:24Message to my wife. "We're staying in the Tewkesbury Travelodge tonight.
0:44:24 > 0:44:26"And you're going to have to pick me up."
0:44:26 > 0:44:30Can we get on with the second round of Dizzy Dummies, please? I'm getting cold in here, really.
0:44:33 > 0:44:38Round 2. There's more vomit-inducing horror at the beginning, but this time the course culminates
0:44:38 > 0:44:40in the Blueberries!
0:44:44 > 0:44:46And so off they wobble.
0:44:46 > 0:44:50Jo and Katy charge up the slope and slide back down it.
0:44:50 > 0:44:54Oh, look at this! Man-mountain Syed, first over the goalposts!
0:44:54 > 0:44:56It's madness on the carousel, but Ollie's now over too!
0:44:57 > 0:44:59Talk about the underdog!
0:44:59 > 0:45:04Never write off the vertically challenged, Amanda! He'll be back!
0:45:04 > 0:45:06Ollie on to the Blueberries...
0:45:07 > 0:45:08..for a split second.
0:45:08 > 0:45:09Now Katie...
0:45:09 > 0:45:11Something tells me we're going to be here for a while!
0:45:16 > 0:45:18A terrific leap from Jo!
0:45:20 > 0:45:23Overshot the Blueberry, but managed to hang on.
0:45:23 > 0:45:28Katie tries the same aggressive approach. Doesn't work so well for her.
0:45:31 > 0:45:35Despite the dastardly dodgeballs, Smokin' Jo's crawling her way across the troublesome Blueberries!
0:45:35 > 0:45:37Come on, then!
0:45:37 > 0:45:40Fighting talk from the fire-fighter!
0:45:40 > 0:45:43Behind her, Ollie's now successfully on the Blueberries.
0:45:44 > 0:45:50Ooh, fantastic leap as Smokin' Jo launches herself into the Wipeout Zone!
0:45:50 > 0:45:53- Sssss!- The fire-fighter's sizzling!
0:45:53 > 0:45:56Syed, still struggling.
0:45:56 > 0:45:57Oh, Syed!
0:45:57 > 0:46:01# They laugh at me, these fellows, just because I am small
0:46:03 > 0:46:06# They laugh at me because I'm not 100 feet tall... #
0:46:08 > 0:46:11I'm not holding out much hope for poor little Syed.
0:46:11 > 0:46:14Katie's looking to take advantage of the man mountain's misfortune.
0:46:14 > 0:46:16And she's finally on.
0:46:18 > 0:46:19Ollie, now, nearly across...
0:46:19 > 0:46:23No-wally Ollie joins Jo in the Wipeout Zone.
0:46:25 > 0:46:28That's ill-advised! I wouldn't have done that!
0:46:28 > 0:46:30Now Katie's on her last Blueberry,
0:46:30 > 0:46:33but she's very wary of those dodgeballs!
0:46:33 > 0:46:36Syed still trying to mount the Blueberries to no avail...
0:46:36 > 0:46:38The dodgeballers wait for no-one.
0:46:41 > 0:46:44Katie psychs herself up for one big leap...
0:46:45 > 0:46:51And she's done it! Katy the Lamb grabs the final spot in the Wipeout Zone
0:46:51 > 0:46:54which means it's goodbye to the man mountain.
0:46:55 > 0:47:00You know what, you're only very lickle and I don't think you stood a chance on that particular obstacle!
0:47:00 > 0:47:03Yeah, yeah, it was much harder than it looked, yeah.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05- You did Bangladesh proud!- Yeah...
0:47:05 > 0:47:07I tried my best, yeah...
0:47:07 > 0:47:10I hope I have made Bangladesh proud, yeah...
0:47:10 > 0:47:16So fire-fighter Smokin' Jo, student no-wally Ollie and marketing executive Katy the Lamb
0:47:16 > 0:47:20have made it through to today's final round, the Wipeout Zone.
0:47:20 > 0:47:23And like me, making my way home from our last office party,
0:47:23 > 0:47:27they've had to overcome water, greased-up poles and giant blueberries to get there!
0:47:27 > 0:47:29And for that, we salute them!
0:47:33 > 0:47:37It's so strange to think there's two girls through and a guy.
0:47:40 > 0:47:44The boys were, like, "We've got it in the bag. It's going to be an all-guy final!"
0:47:44 > 0:47:47And here we are, and it's me and Jo through!
0:47:47 > 0:47:50Really feeling the pressure that there's two girls in the final.
0:47:50 > 0:47:56Jo, in particular, I'm very scared of. She's got long legs and she's beaten me in the previous rounds.
0:47:56 > 0:48:02To actually compete against a lot of men, you know, I have done that, I'm used to that...
0:48:02 > 0:48:05Jo's a lot older than me. On paper, that would make me think I've got a good chance against Jo.
0:48:05 > 0:48:07I am sporty...
0:48:07 > 0:48:12but I'm 44! I've got children the same age as some of these contestants!
0:48:12 > 0:48:14And let's see what happens with Ollie!
0:48:16 > 0:48:21Ollie's got his game face on and I think he's going to try his very best for the boys!
0:48:21 > 0:48:24Katie's a bit of shock for me being in the final.
0:48:24 > 0:48:27She's very competitive. I think she's planning to win this tonight.
0:48:27 > 0:48:32Katie's brilliant, you know, she's really pulled the stops out!
0:48:32 > 0:48:35I would absolutely love to beat Ollie and Jo.
0:48:37 > 0:48:40- It's about winning. - It's down to me to beat these girls!
0:48:40 > 0:48:42To be honest, I'm just going to go out there and give it my best.
0:48:42 > 0:48:47Holding that cup up at the end of the day and saying, you know, "It's me that's won this!"
0:48:52 > 0:48:57So this is it...the pinnacle, the apex, the peak, the summit...
0:48:57 > 0:49:02the highlight, the zenith... I've got a new thesaurus app on my phone.
0:49:05 > 0:49:07Sorry...Angry Birds.
0:49:09 > 0:49:12Anyway, what I was trying to build to is, it's the Wipeout Zone!
0:49:21 > 0:49:24First it's the Killer Surf with only a rubber ring for comfort.
0:49:24 > 0:49:27Then it's the hike of hell up the Rapid Climb
0:49:27 > 0:49:29where they've got just ten seconds to make it to the top
0:49:29 > 0:49:31before a Tidal Wave is unleashed upon them.
0:49:31 > 0:49:35Then balance is everything on the Seesaw Of Truth.
0:49:35 > 0:49:39From there they'll have to duck and dive to avoid the Crazy Sweeper.
0:49:39 > 0:49:41Then it's the Rope Swing on to the Turntable
0:49:41 > 0:49:44and a final leap to the finish podium where the clock stops.
0:49:44 > 0:49:48The fastest round the course will be crowned Total Wipeout champion
0:49:48 > 0:49:51and walk away with £10,000.
0:49:51 > 0:49:54What a line-up we have tonight!
0:49:54 > 0:49:57A girl, a boy and another girl.
0:49:57 > 0:50:01Did I mention we've got two girls and a boy, as in 100% more girl than boy?
0:50:01 > 0:50:05Not that I'm showing any favouritism! Katie is the first to go...
0:50:05 > 0:50:08who, by the way, is a girl.
0:50:11 > 0:50:15It's the cricketer's daughter versus the mother of all assault courses.
0:50:15 > 0:50:16This one's for the family!
0:50:18 > 0:50:20HOOTER
0:50:20 > 0:50:23So Katie gets the Wipeout Zone underway.
0:50:31 > 0:50:33She's in and swimming.
0:50:34 > 0:50:36But quickly on to the Rapid Climb.
0:50:36 > 0:50:38The minute she gets on to that ramp,
0:50:38 > 0:50:41the 10-second Tidal Wave countdown will begin.
0:50:41 > 0:50:43- And there it is!- That's it, Katie!
0:50:43 > 0:50:44Run for it!
0:50:44 > 0:50:45Katie is taking Amanda's advice
0:50:45 > 0:50:48she's quickly up the ramp, totally avoiding the Tidal Wave.
0:50:48 > 0:50:50Come on, Katie, girl.
0:50:50 > 0:50:53And Katie progresses to the Seesaw Of Truth,
0:50:53 > 0:50:56trying to balance with her heart pounding
0:50:56 > 0:50:58and the roar of water in her ears...
0:50:58 > 0:51:03The seesaw tips, Katie's looking good.
0:51:04 > 0:51:07Being cautious and needs to be. Next, the Crazy Sweeper.
0:51:07 > 0:51:09It's all about timing this right.
0:51:09 > 0:51:13Oh, a near miss there, but Katie survives it,
0:51:13 > 0:51:16managing to duck the Crazy Sweeper.
0:51:16 > 0:51:18Back on her feet, up and running for it.
0:51:18 > 0:51:20Come on, Katie, hurry up!
0:51:21 > 0:51:22That's it!
0:51:22 > 0:51:24Go, go, go!
0:51:24 > 0:51:30Oh! No, the Sweeper was simply too quick and Katie just kind of threw herself into the water there.
0:51:34 > 0:51:37- I think she just jumped off that. - That makes two of us, Amanda.
0:51:37 > 0:51:40I think she just got out of its way at the last second.
0:51:40 > 0:51:44Right, Rope Swing now. Katie prepares herself for a giant leap!
0:51:44 > 0:51:46She's holding on tight.
0:51:46 > 0:51:48And she makes it!
0:51:48 > 0:51:50One jump to go and it's all over. Come on!
0:51:50 > 0:51:52Oh, hang on, Katie!
0:51:52 > 0:51:56She does, and completes the Wipeout Zone in a very fast time.
0:51:56 > 0:51:57A great run.
0:52:01 > 0:52:04Katy the Lamb barely put a foot wrong the whole way round,
0:52:04 > 0:52:07except for that voluntary fall on the Crazy Sweeper,
0:52:07 > 0:52:10but will her time be enough to beat Jo and Ollie?
0:52:12 > 0:52:13Did you enjoy that?
0:52:13 > 0:52:17Oh...part...the...
0:52:17 > 0:52:20I'm not understanding a word you're saying, but it doesn't matter because you did really well.
0:52:20 > 0:52:24You've just done that in 2 minutes and 34 seconds.
0:52:24 > 0:52:30- Oh!- That's a brilliant time, but you do know that Ollie and Jo are coming up next,
0:52:30 > 0:52:35- they're both equally determined... - It's going to be amazing. - Ollie's up next. Let's watch.
0:52:37 > 0:52:4250% Alfie Moon, 50% ninja, 0% wally, it's no-wally Ollie!
0:52:43 > 0:52:46My name's Ollie Beasant and I'm doing this for everyone I know and love.
0:52:46 > 0:52:48Wish me luck!
0:52:48 > 0:52:51HE SCREAMS
0:52:57 > 0:52:59Trademark scream there!
0:52:59 > 0:53:01The flying Ollie!
0:53:01 > 0:53:03And now it's a climbing Ollie!
0:53:04 > 0:53:07He's on to the Rapid Climb, so the 10-second countdown begins.
0:53:07 > 0:53:09Ollie literally making big strides here,
0:53:09 > 0:53:12and like Katie he beats the wave.
0:53:12 > 0:53:14Whoo!
0:53:14 > 0:53:18No problem for no-wally Ollie, avoiding the horror of the Tidal Wave.
0:53:19 > 0:53:22On to the Seesaw... Ollie waits for it to tip.
0:53:22 > 0:53:24Ooh, a little wobble, but he's still on, he's made it.
0:53:24 > 0:53:27Next it's the Crazy Sweeper.
0:53:27 > 0:53:31This is where Katy the Lamb made her one mistake on her run.
0:53:31 > 0:53:34Ollie legs it but that spinning arm is already closing in.
0:53:34 > 0:53:37He's going to have to duck soon.
0:53:37 > 0:53:39Or maybe he's not!
0:53:39 > 0:53:40Because he's made it!
0:53:40 > 0:53:42Incredible! Ollie makes it in one!
0:53:42 > 0:53:44He's yet to make a single mistake.
0:53:44 > 0:53:46He's only got the Rope Swing and the Turntable to go.
0:53:48 > 0:53:51He swings out...still holding on...
0:53:51 > 0:53:55Oh, a heavy landing! This is looking fast!
0:53:55 > 0:53:57Ollie's on the Turntable, he lines himself up...
0:53:58 > 0:54:00..jumps, and that is a flawless run from Ollie!
0:54:00 > 0:54:031 minute 20 seconds, that's incredible!
0:54:03 > 0:54:04Yes!
0:54:06 > 0:54:08Now, there is a lesson in how to do the Wipeout Zone!
0:54:08 > 0:54:12Ollie blasts his way past every obstacle without a second thought.
0:54:12 > 0:54:15Definitely part Ninja and no wally at all!
0:54:15 > 0:54:18It's over to Amanda to tell Ollie his spectacular time.
0:54:18 > 0:54:22- You went like a bullet! - Thanks very much, thanks very much!
0:54:22 > 0:54:27- Fast and accurate, that's me. - I kind of blinked and I think I might have missed it!- Oh, really?
0:54:27 > 0:54:31- I don't think it was that fast!- He's been doing it for the boys tonight.
0:54:31 > 0:54:32- Yeah.- Ollie...
0:54:32 > 0:54:38you're one step closer to making them proud, because you were faster than Katie!
0:54:38 > 0:54:42- Hard luck, Katie. Go join the others, my darling. - Good luck.- Well done!
0:54:42 > 0:54:46- Only Jo to go.- And it means yours is the time to beat, so let's watch Jo.
0:54:46 > 0:54:48Let's do it. Good luck, Jo.
0:54:51 > 0:54:54Here comes the final contender, Smokin' Jo.
0:54:54 > 0:54:55Careful on that ladder, obviously!
0:54:58 > 0:55:01This is for you, Josie and Julie!
0:55:01 > 0:55:08Now, Jo has Ollie's time to beat, and at 1 minute 20 seconds, that is not going to be easy.
0:55:08 > 0:55:11That's an astonishing time in front of her.
0:55:12 > 0:55:15Out of the ring, into the water. It's a swim
0:55:15 > 0:55:17then the Rapid Climb first of all.
0:55:18 > 0:55:22She's up quickly. But Jo's going to have to keep that speed up.
0:55:22 > 0:55:25The Tidal Wave won't get a look-in if she's fast enough.
0:55:25 > 0:55:2610 seconds, remember.
0:55:28 > 0:55:31Oh, she's taking it steady on the steep sections.
0:55:31 > 0:55:33Oh, no, she's slipped!
0:55:33 > 0:55:35And she's sliding...
0:55:35 > 0:55:39And that means the wave is going to hit her! She's going to get caught.
0:55:39 > 0:55:41She's past it, that's good.
0:55:44 > 0:55:47Jo sticks close to the edge and misses the worst of it,
0:55:47 > 0:55:49but the seconds are ebbing away...
0:55:49 > 0:55:53along with Jo's chances of winning Total Wipeout!
0:55:53 > 0:55:54On to the Seesaw Of Truth.
0:55:54 > 0:55:56Jo looks steady on her feet,
0:55:56 > 0:55:59but how will she handle the tipping point in the middle?
0:55:59 > 0:56:02That's critical. She's past it. Nicely done.
0:56:02 > 0:56:04Quickly on to the Crazy Sweeper.
0:56:04 > 0:56:06She's going to have to go like the wind.
0:56:06 > 0:56:08This is make or break for Smokin' Jo.
0:56:08 > 0:56:11A big mistake here and her title challenge is all over.
0:56:11 > 0:56:14Judging speeds, distances... the best time to run...
0:56:14 > 0:56:16Oh, she's ducked.
0:56:16 > 0:56:17Come on, Jo, come on!
0:56:22 > 0:56:24She ducks a second time and this has to be it!
0:56:24 > 0:56:27She's got to get a move on... No, she's ducking again!
0:56:27 > 0:56:30Don't forget, Jo has no idea of the time pressure she's under.
0:56:30 > 0:56:33She didn't see Ollie's incredible run.
0:56:33 > 0:56:35Big push now on to the podiums...
0:56:35 > 0:56:39Oh, that was not Jo's best foot forwards there.
0:56:39 > 0:56:44So nearly out of the Sweeper's reach and on to the Rope Swing, Jo's chances of winning are already over.
0:56:44 > 0:56:47She just can't catch Ollie now.
0:56:47 > 0:56:49Ollie can't believe his luck, or rather Jo's lack of it.
0:56:49 > 0:56:52Jo is up and on to the Rope Swing,
0:56:52 > 0:56:53good swing, great landing...
0:56:55 > 0:56:57Let go of the rope, woman!
0:56:57 > 0:56:59Oh, maybe I spoke too soon!
0:56:59 > 0:57:02- Things going from bad to worse for Smokin' Jo.- No, she didn't!
0:57:02 > 0:57:04Oh, yes, she did!
0:57:04 > 0:57:06Sorry, this isn't pantomime, is it?
0:57:06 > 0:57:08Come on, Jo, come on!
0:57:08 > 0:57:10For Jo encouragement from the crowd!
0:57:10 > 0:57:13She's got her eye on that button. A quick jump...slaps the button
0:57:13 > 0:57:15and overshoots!
0:57:15 > 0:57:18Great effort from Jo, but Ollie's time was always going to be hard to beat.
0:57:18 > 0:57:21A slip of the Crazy Sweeper and a trip on the Turntable
0:57:21 > 0:57:28plus that overenthusiastic finish all mean she posts a time of 3 minutes and 14 seconds.
0:57:28 > 0:57:32Oh, my goodness! Fantastic performance from you, my love!
0:57:32 > 0:57:36That was amazing! A few slips and trips, but, yeah, I got here!
0:57:36 > 0:57:39- You had some ups and downs. - Absolutely!
0:57:39 > 0:57:41And you've had some ups and downs all day,
0:57:41 > 0:57:45but you kept fighting your way through all the way through just like a fire-fighter should.
0:57:45 > 0:57:48- Oh, absolutely. I can't give up. - Oh, listen...
0:57:48 > 0:57:51Ollie's been fantastic tonight, you have been incredible...
0:57:51 > 0:57:55- Your kids will be so proud of you tonight, Jo...- I hope so.
0:57:55 > 0:57:58But your fire has been extinguished, I'm afraid,
0:57:58 > 0:58:02because, Ollie, you are the Total Wipeout champion!
0:58:03 > 0:58:04Yeah!
0:58:04 > 0:58:06Well done, my man!
0:58:09 > 0:58:15So, 21-year-old business student Ollie Beasant from Swindon is today's Total Wipeout champion.
0:58:15 > 0:58:17And he is most certainly not a wally.
0:58:17 > 0:58:23But he is a buffoon, a nincompoop, an imbecile, a dufus...
0:58:23 > 0:58:26It's a great app! That's all for today, but join me next time,
0:58:26 > 0:58:28when there'll be some people falling off things,
0:58:28 > 0:58:30some other people falling off things
0:58:30 > 0:58:32and, in a Total Wipeout exclusive,
0:58:32 > 0:58:35there will be some people falling off things!
0:58:35 > 0:58:37From Amanda and me, goodbye.
0:58:42 > 0:58:46Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:58:46 > 0:58:50E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk