Episode 5

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0:00:02 > 0:00:06Buenos Aires. Tonight, 20 intrepid Brits, including a DJ,

0:00:06 > 0:00:12a bus driver and a chief inspector, dare to take on the biggest obstacle course on the planet.

0:00:12 > 0:00:1619 will leave with nothing but the tiny soaps they stole from the hotel.

0:00:16 > 0:00:19One will walk away with £10,000...

0:00:19 > 0:00:22and the tiny soaps they stole from the hotel.

0:00:22 > 0:00:24Let the pummelling begin.

0:00:26 > 0:00:28Welcome to Total Wipeout.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31Now, only last week, I was asked once again, "Hammond,

0:00:31 > 0:00:36"the Total Wipeout course looks big, but exactly how big is it?" they said.

0:00:36 > 0:00:39"Well," I replied, "I don't have the foggiest.

0:00:39 > 0:00:41"Now please stop pestering me." I hope that clears it up.

0:00:41 > 0:00:44Let's see what the competitors face today.

0:00:44 > 0:00:48The Qualifier - do or die.

0:00:48 > 0:00:52Crash Mountain - run through or die.

0:00:52 > 0:00:55Dizzy Dummies - spew or die.

0:00:55 > 0:00:58The Wipeout Zone - just die.

0:00:58 > 0:01:00With fireworks.

0:01:00 > 0:01:05It's now time for me to hand over to a woman the Argentinians call El Presentor,

0:01:05 > 0:01:09which, according to this dictionary, means...

0:01:09 > 0:01:11the tomato.

0:01:11 > 0:01:14Doesn't sound right, but it's in a book so it must be true.

0:01:14 > 0:01:17Anyway, here she is, the tomato herself. It's Amanda Byram.

0:01:22 > 0:01:25Cabin crew, cross check, stand by for landing,

0:01:25 > 0:01:28cos I'm joined by Charlotte, who is a trolley dolly.

0:01:28 > 0:01:33I'm really sorry for calling you "trolley dolly", because you're not just blonde

0:01:33 > 0:01:35and bubbly and all smiles, are you?

0:01:35 > 0:01:38I am, yes. Unfortunately, I'm a girly girl.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40I love my lip gloss, hate getting my hair wet.

0:01:40 > 0:01:42I'm just girly!

0:01:42 > 0:01:47Fasten your seat belts, cos this is going to be a bumpy ride! Whoo!

0:01:47 > 0:01:52The first obstacle that may cause a little turbulence for Charlotte will be the propellers.

0:01:52 > 0:01:56She needs to make her way along the catwalk without being hit like that.

0:01:57 > 0:01:59KLAXON BLARES

0:01:59 > 0:02:0120-year-old Charlotte sets off.

0:02:01 > 0:02:06As an air stewardess, she'll be used to working with narrow aisles and massive propellers. Probably.

0:02:06 > 0:02:07Safely over the first one.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09Yes! That's it, Charlotte.

0:02:09 > 0:02:13Second set, and her hair is still intact. Oh...

0:02:13 > 0:02:17Ooh, no, it's not any more.

0:02:17 > 0:02:21Yeah, a swift departure for Charlotte as she makes an unscheduled landing.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26Next it's the Sucker Punch.

0:02:26 > 0:02:29Charlotte often plays it dumb to get what she wants,

0:02:29 > 0:02:33but will her charm work on 20 vicious boxing gloves?

0:02:33 > 0:02:36It's looking good so far. Come on, Charlotte!

0:02:36 > 0:02:39It's not that I want to see her punched in the face, but...

0:02:39 > 0:02:40I did!

0:02:40 > 0:02:43Oh, my God!

0:02:43 > 0:02:49Right on the schnozz. After that melee of massive fists, she probably won't need to play it dumb any more.

0:02:51 > 0:02:55If she thinks keeping her hair out of the mud is a problem,

0:02:55 > 0:02:57just wait till she gets a load of these.

0:02:57 > 0:03:02The Argentinians call them "Las Bolas Grandes", which means...

0:03:02 > 0:03:04I'll look it up.

0:03:06 > 0:03:10"The funny onions". I'm really not sure about this dictionary.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13I always thought they were the Big Balls.

0:03:13 > 0:03:18Please put all mobile phones in the overhead lockers and turn off all your belongings.

0:03:18 > 0:03:22That's the way they say it. That sort of thing. Anyway, Charlotte goes for it.

0:03:22 > 0:03:27Oh! I think we'll need a bigger stylist.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30She flies through the air with the greatest of ease,

0:03:30 > 0:03:33then bounces through the air with the greatest of ease.

0:03:33 > 0:03:39So now Airhead Charlotte must swim towards the final obstacle, the Cradles Of Doom.

0:03:39 > 0:03:42# Rock-a-bye baby... #

0:03:44 > 0:03:49She needs to clamber across them without falling off them like that.

0:03:49 > 0:03:53She's safely onto the first cradle. But she can't stand up.

0:03:53 > 0:03:56One more step to the front and you're in business.

0:03:56 > 0:03:57I don't think she has a choice.

0:03:57 > 0:04:03She's... Oh! Brace. Brace, brace. Prepare for an emergency landing.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05At least she had a life jacket on.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07Down to economy.

0:04:07 > 0:04:11I'm afraid, Charlotte, you might have got your hair a bit wet there.

0:04:11 > 0:04:17Oh... Regardless of that, Charlotte completes the course in a respectable 2 minutes 50 seconds.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22I look awful! My hair!

0:04:22 > 0:04:26It's going to take hours to redo! Oh, dear...

0:04:26 > 0:04:28This is Mohammed from east London.

0:04:28 > 0:04:31He loves Bollywood films and clearly loves dancing.

0:04:31 > 0:04:35You kind of have a bit of a rugged, movie-hero look.

0:04:35 > 0:04:39- Is there a sprinkling of action hero going on there?- Yeah, a bit, yeah.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41Yeah, I'm trying my best.

0:04:41 > 0:04:46Yeah, whatever. Can Mohammed complete the Qualifier like a true action hero?

0:04:47 > 0:04:50I'll be honest, I've not seen Bruce Willis do that.

0:04:50 > 0:04:51But maybe off camera.

0:04:51 > 0:04:55It's a cautious approach from the action hero.

0:04:55 > 0:04:58He's trying to sneak up on it. Right in the Schwarzeneggers!

0:04:58 > 0:05:01That's exactly how Jason Bourne would fall over.

0:05:01 > 0:05:05- Just that style.- Something's telling me he never swam before.

0:05:05 > 0:05:09That's just like Jackie Chan's doggie paddle, if you look closely.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12It's uncanny. Right, he was defeated by one propeller.

0:05:12 > 0:05:16What are the chances he'll get past two? He's on.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18He's hit.

0:05:18 > 0:05:22He's hit again. And he's down again.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25Ah, magnificent. No stunt double required for this James Bond.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27Look at him go!

0:05:27 > 0:05:31Double 0 Mo looking a bit tired. What's he doing?

0:05:33 > 0:05:35But this lady isn't.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37It's embarrassing mum Kelly.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41Can you hear that? That's the sound of her two daughters cringing.

0:05:41 > 0:05:45World's most embarrassing mum goes international!

0:05:45 > 0:05:50- Yeah!- I wonder why her kids are embarrassed.

0:05:50 > 0:05:53I don't know! I'm embarrassed, and she's not my mum! So it begins.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56What can she possibly do that would be embarrassing on here?

0:05:56 > 0:06:03Well, that's a good start. Legs out, bum in the air, face plant.

0:06:04 > 0:06:05Beautiful work!

0:06:07 > 0:06:11Her daughters Georgia Young and Becky Young must be feeling a bit awkward.

0:06:11 > 0:06:13That's them hiding behind the sofa.

0:06:13 > 0:06:18That's Georgia Young and Becky Young of Pontypool. That's your mum we're all looking at there!

0:06:18 > 0:06:22Kelly, I hope you're recording this so you can show it to your children's mates

0:06:22 > 0:06:23over and over again.

0:06:23 > 0:06:27I'm joined now at the top of the Qualifier by Steven from Leek,

0:06:27 > 0:06:30who I think it would be fair to say is a bit of a water baby.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32Steven, what is it that you do?

0:06:32 > 0:06:34I'm a lifeguard and swimming instructor.

0:06:34 > 0:06:37Steven obeys the no-running rule.

0:06:37 > 0:06:40Oh, I hope his swimming's better than his running.

0:06:40 > 0:06:44Now, propeller time. Yeah, now he runs.

0:06:44 > 0:06:49Oh! And that's why running is prohibited.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52# He's the greatest He's fantastic

0:06:52 > 0:06:53# Wherever there is danger... #

0:06:53 > 0:06:56There's no bombing, either, by the way. Or petting.

0:06:56 > 0:06:59All of Steven's lifeguarding skill coming to the fore here.

0:06:59 > 0:07:03Steven also teaches children to swim at his local leisure centre.

0:07:03 > 0:07:07Remember, with breaststroke you need to cut the pizza, round the pizza.

0:07:07 > 0:07:11If we're doing front crawl, you have to scoop up the ice cream.

0:07:11 > 0:07:14OK, so can this half-man, half-fish,

0:07:14 > 0:07:17fish-man thing take on two propellers?

0:07:19 > 0:07:21Oh. No. Not really.

0:07:21 > 0:07:24Oh, come on, Steven, cut the pizza!

0:07:24 > 0:07:26Cut the pizza!

0:07:26 > 0:07:28Are your family supporting you back home?

0:07:28 > 0:07:30No, not really. No-one is.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32Everyone thinks I'm going to be hospitalised.

0:07:32 > 0:07:36Steven's managed to lose a whopping four stone in the last three years,

0:07:36 > 0:07:41so will his new, svelte frame propel him over the Big Balls?

0:07:43 > 0:07:46Here we go. Ohh... Oh.

0:07:49 > 0:07:51Cut the pizza? Scoop the ice cream!

0:07:53 > 0:07:56# He's the greatest He's fantastic

0:07:56 > 0:07:58# Wherever there is danger He'll be there... #

0:08:01 > 0:08:04So the lifeguard can't do the job.

0:08:04 > 0:08:07What we need is a real athlete.

0:08:07 > 0:08:10- And here she comes.- Meep-meep! - Oh, she's gone.

0:08:10 > 0:08:15There she is! No, wait. She's there. No, there. Oh, forget it.

0:08:15 > 0:08:17Ah, here she is.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19I've got the fast name, I'm no dizzy dummy.

0:08:19 > 0:08:22It's time for some cool runnings, cos I'm too fast for you.

0:08:22 > 0:08:28Right... This contestant's name is Annalese Ferrari, and she is fast.

0:08:28 > 0:08:31CRASH, SCREAM

0:08:32 > 0:08:37Ah. Looks like the Sucker Punch has slowed her down a bit.

0:08:37 > 0:08:41Annalese recently ran a mile in 5 minutes and 14 seconds,

0:08:41 > 0:08:46so I imagine she's about to go really, really fast.

0:08:46 > 0:08:47Well, this is a let-down.

0:08:47 > 0:08:50Yep, she's going to go fast any minute now.

0:08:51 > 0:08:54Come on, hit the gas!

0:08:54 > 0:08:57There we go. Here she goes. Oh.

0:09:00 > 0:09:03She's not enjoying that. She'll have flooded the engine.

0:09:03 > 0:09:05And that seems to be too much for Annalese.

0:09:05 > 0:09:07And who can blame her?

0:09:07 > 0:09:11Cut the pizza, slice the pizza, eat the pizza.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13Sorry, just doing a bit of swimming practice.

0:09:13 > 0:09:16I can't understand why I'm not losing weight.

0:09:16 > 0:09:20So that's really sad news about Annalese. She had to drop out.

0:09:20 > 0:09:22Shame life-saver Steven wasn't there to help.

0:09:22 > 0:09:26Just goes to show again that the Wipeout course is far from easy.

0:09:26 > 0:09:30You need discipline, you need courage in the face of danger and you need a truncheon.

0:09:30 > 0:09:34And what a coincidence, look who's next! It's a chief inspector!

0:09:34 > 0:09:38Is there anything that you are afraid of out here today?

0:09:38 > 0:09:42The only thing I don't like is if there's anything under the water in there.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46So as long as there's no sharks under there...

0:09:46 > 0:09:48I'll be quite worried if there are.

0:09:48 > 0:09:53Well, we can't promise anything, but the locals do affectionately call it the Pool Of Death.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58Chief Inspector Lesley has tested the water already, and it's safe.

0:10:00 > 0:10:04Maybe she's learnt. Maybe she's got the hang of it now. Here we go.

0:10:04 > 0:10:08Oh, no, no, she just ran straight into that one.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10Yep, she copped it on that one.

0:10:10 > 0:10:14Lesley feels the long arm of Total Wipeout.

0:10:14 > 0:10:17What's up next, then, Chief Inspector?

0:10:17 > 0:10:22Ah, it's the big, red balls. Come on, ma'am, on you go.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25Yes, bounces. Oh, keeps bouncing.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28Keeps bouncing. And there she goes.

0:10:28 > 0:10:30That looked fun! I want a go.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Just the Cradles Of Doom to go now.

0:10:38 > 0:10:41Lesley takes a big run-up. Ooh...

0:10:41 > 0:10:43She's on.

0:10:43 > 0:10:45Ooh, a bit wobbly, though.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Oh! And the next one. One more jump left.

0:10:47 > 0:10:50Can Lesley remain dry?

0:10:53 > 0:10:58Oh, Lesley took a bit of a stumble, and she's in the water again.

0:10:58 > 0:11:02Not her favourite place. The podium just within arm's reach.

0:11:02 > 0:11:05Oh, what's that? No, Lesley, quick, get out!

0:11:05 > 0:11:08We needed a lifeguard. You'll do.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11Swim, Lesley, swim! Do something!

0:11:14 > 0:11:20Look, that's just silly. I mean, clearly she hasn't been eaten by a... She has gone, though.

0:11:20 > 0:11:22Raaaaaar!

0:11:22 > 0:11:24Too late, Steven, too late.

0:11:24 > 0:11:29She's not actually there. Oh, hang on, she is! Oh!

0:11:29 > 0:11:31- Well done, team. Well done, all. - I did it!

0:11:32 > 0:11:34I can't take the drama any more.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36Let's go to a leaderboard.

0:11:36 > 0:11:39Airhead Charlotte storms ahead in first place,

0:11:39 > 0:11:41Double 0 Mo in second.

0:11:41 > 0:11:45Shark Bait Lesley takes third, and Embarrassing Kelly is in fourth.

0:11:45 > 0:11:49Life-Saver Steven is in fifth and, sadly, Annalese threw in the towel.

0:11:49 > 0:11:50Next, please.

0:11:50 > 0:11:54This is Harry. He's 60 and quite scary.

0:11:54 > 0:11:56I've never read a book in me life.

0:11:56 > 0:11:59- I were no good at school, couldn't do anything.- This is Lawrence.

0:11:59 > 0:12:03He's also 60 and used to be a butler to the Queen.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06Fellow contestants and great British viewing public,

0:12:06 > 0:12:11please welcome the sizzlingly hot Amanda Byram!

0:12:11 > 0:12:13HE LAUGHS

0:12:13 > 0:12:19That's not funny. I quite like her, actually. So, two 60-year-olds from two very different backgrounds.

0:12:19 > 0:12:23Who will win? Learned Lawrence sets off first.

0:12:23 > 0:12:26Smart jump over the first propeller. Slips up, but recovers.

0:12:26 > 0:12:30Doing well for his age. Oh, no, he's had a bit of a fall.

0:12:30 > 0:12:32Quite a lot of a fall.

0:12:33 > 0:12:37In fact, that is one heck of a face plant for a man of 60.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40So it's a game of nature versus nurture,

0:12:40 > 0:12:45Hard Nut Harry doing it for all the less learned people out there.

0:12:46 > 0:12:50Unfortunately, that's one point to education thus far.

0:12:50 > 0:12:53It's a good effort from Harry, but he gets it right in the mohican.

0:12:56 > 0:12:57Will Learned Lawrence

0:12:57 > 0:13:02have read enough about fists and punching to avoid a beating?

0:13:03 > 0:13:09No. He needs to read a few more books about punching, I think.

0:13:09 > 0:13:15So Lawrence takes a hit to the belly, and gets a right old face-full of mud for his trouble.

0:13:17 > 0:13:20Hard Nut Harry on the Sucker Punch - this should be easy.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22Harry was educated at the school of hard knocks.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24No problem, I'm sure.

0:13:24 > 0:13:27Oh, look at that. He likes it.

0:13:30 > 0:13:33He's over, a great run from Harry. The Big Balls to go.

0:13:33 > 0:13:36Harry will be using what he learned from the University of Life.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40I don't think he learned that there.

0:13:40 > 0:13:43# Don't know much about history. #

0:13:43 > 0:13:44Never read a book in his life,

0:13:44 > 0:13:48and now he's never traversed the Big Red Balls, either.

0:13:49 > 0:13:51Learned Lawrence's turn.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53Not a good look. The Queen won't be impressed.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Will he have learned a lesson from Harry's run?

0:13:56 > 0:13:58HE YELLS

0:14:01 > 0:14:03Nope! Not really.

0:14:03 > 0:14:06That is one better than Harry, and he did it with a lot of grace.

0:14:06 > 0:14:09He could be carrying a tray.

0:14:10 > 0:14:14Can we finally answer the question that's been baffling philosophers for centuries?

0:14:14 > 0:14:18Will it be nature or will it be nurture?

0:14:18 > 0:14:21Will it be Hard Nut Harry or Learned Lawrence?

0:14:21 > 0:14:23Oh, there's nothing in it, really.

0:14:23 > 0:14:25Except Lawrence was quicker.

0:14:25 > 0:14:27By about a minute.

0:14:28 > 0:14:30Hi, I'm Miss Ladybug.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33I'm cute, nippy, I'm going to fly round this course.

0:14:33 > 0:14:36This is 24-year-old Rachel from Wiltshire.

0:14:38 > 0:14:41- Come on, my little ladybug. - And as creepy-crawlies do well...

0:14:41 > 0:14:43Oh, no! She's down.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46- Hang on tight!- Forget ladybugs.

0:14:46 > 0:14:51Rachel has the resilience of a cockroach. I don't mean that personally, Rachel.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53That nearly squashed her flat.

0:14:53 > 0:14:58But she's still managing to swim in a straight line, so maybe it's not as bad as it looks.

0:15:02 > 0:15:07No, it was. It was every bit as bad as it looked, in fact.

0:15:07 > 0:15:10Creepy-crawly Rachel crawls up the ramp to the Big Balls.

0:15:10 > 0:15:13Time to unfurl those wings now.

0:15:13 > 0:15:16- Do ladybugs pee on you? - Let's hope not.

0:15:16 > 0:15:20Oh, the motivator is moving, but Rachel is safely onto ball one.

0:15:20 > 0:15:21That's it, like a little ladybug.

0:15:21 > 0:15:26She's up and going for ball two, and she's on.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29Now, three.

0:15:29 > 0:15:33Oh, this is incredible!

0:15:33 > 0:15:37Creeping and crawling her way to victory, onto the fourth ball.

0:15:37 > 0:15:41This will go down as one of the greatest ball crossings in history.

0:15:41 > 0:15:43No, jinxed it, sorry.

0:15:43 > 0:15:47- Stuck between a ball and a hard place.- She's going to bend in half!

0:15:48 > 0:15:53Amanda tries to use telekinesis to urge her over.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56No...

0:15:59 > 0:16:0423-year-old gymnastics coach Jade should have the skills to cross the balls.

0:16:04 > 0:16:06Here we go. First one.

0:16:06 > 0:16:09Second one, oh, touched the third one!

0:16:11 > 0:16:15Jade's training to be a stuntwoman, so this is all pretty good practice for her.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19Onto the Cradles Of Doom.

0:16:19 > 0:16:21Can she make it across?

0:16:21 > 0:16:23Gymnast, stuntwoman. I'm pretty hopeful.

0:16:23 > 0:16:26She's got one sock on and one sock off.

0:16:26 > 0:16:29So that's where all the missing socks go. I'm getting mine back.

0:16:29 > 0:16:32Sockless or not, she's made it onto the first cradle.

0:16:32 > 0:16:34Just a stunt jump to the second.

0:16:34 > 0:16:41Yes, she's made it. She may only have one sock, but can Jade with one sock make one big final stunt jump?

0:16:41 > 0:16:44Oh, no. I blame the sock.

0:16:47 > 0:16:4810 people left.

0:16:48 > 0:16:50Oh, this guy looks tough.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52Like a trucker, or a biker, or maybe a nightclub bouncer.

0:16:52 > 0:16:56But he's actually a computer analyst called Neil.

0:16:56 > 0:16:58Are you really brainy?

0:16:58 > 0:17:01I'm a bit of a tactician. I've done a lot of research on the course.

0:17:01 > 0:17:03I reckon I can do it in two-and-a-half minutes.

0:17:03 > 0:17:06I think Neil's analytical skills are a tiny wee bit off.

0:17:06 > 0:17:09He's already passed the two-and-a-half minute mark,

0:17:09 > 0:17:12and he's only just reached the Cradles Of Doom.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16Come on, Neil!

0:17:16 > 0:17:18- He's on.- No, I don't mean KNEEL.

0:17:18 > 0:17:21No, I know what you mean.

0:17:21 > 0:17:25Now, Neil's brain is analysing thousands of pieces of data.

0:17:25 > 0:17:30Calculating speed, distance, momentum, trajectory, wind direction.

0:17:30 > 0:17:34All of these things to get this one move just right.

0:17:39 > 0:17:42I think he over-analysed that.

0:17:42 > 0:17:47Now, Total Wipeout is a competition entirely free of gender discrimination.

0:17:47 > 0:17:52Oh, yes. On this course, men and women compete against each other for the same prize.

0:17:52 > 0:17:57So you could say, in many ways, that makes this show better than the Olympics. Or the World Cup.

0:17:57 > 0:18:01Or even the boardrooms of the FTSE 100 companies.

0:18:01 > 0:18:04Yes, look at me. I'm doing satire.

0:18:04 > 0:18:07Can I go back to doing puns about fishmongers now?

0:18:07 > 0:18:13Time to test the gender stereotypes and see who is better, the alpha males or the girly girls.

0:18:13 > 0:18:18Representing the girls, firstly there is 24-year-old Russian-born Olga.

0:18:18 > 0:18:22Flipping heck, she's built like a brick sh... Shed. A brick shed.

0:18:22 > 0:18:26And then there's Katie, a pole-dancing instructor who's also built like a brick shed.

0:18:26 > 0:18:30Time to show the boys how it's done and bust some big, red balls.

0:18:30 > 0:18:31Boom!

0:18:31 > 0:18:33This is war, boys.

0:18:33 > 0:18:36Be afraid. Be very afraid.

0:18:36 > 0:18:38Yes, I am afraid, really.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40Bring on the alpha males.

0:18:40 > 0:18:44Here, finally, some real masculinity on the show.

0:18:44 > 0:18:47Wearing red is DJ Tred from London.

0:18:47 > 0:18:50And in the headband, it is student Tom from Halifax.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53My man-dial is off the scale, you know?

0:18:53 > 0:18:55Testosterone, I'm swimming in it!

0:18:55 > 0:18:58Let's see if four balls are better than two. Woof!

0:18:58 > 0:19:01Let the battle of the sexes commence.

0:19:01 > 0:19:05Olga getting things under way for the girls. She jumps the propeller.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07Oh, nasty.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09I think that dented the foam.

0:19:09 > 0:19:11Now DJ Tred for the men.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14A dainty skip over the propeller. Second set now.

0:19:18 > 0:19:21Oh, ah. Not so dainty that time.

0:19:21 > 0:19:26Look at his manly hair, swishing through the air like he's in a shampoo advert.

0:19:26 > 0:19:27Because you're worth it, Tred.

0:19:29 > 0:19:32Back to the girls, and here comes Katie.

0:19:32 > 0:19:35- Still a bit scared of her, if I'm honest.- Doing it for us chicks.

0:19:35 > 0:19:39On to the second set. Oh, took a big hit there.

0:19:39 > 0:19:41And nearly managed to hang on,

0:19:41 > 0:19:43but didn't. No.

0:19:43 > 0:19:46Olga's go on the second set now.

0:19:46 > 0:19:51- Oh! - Olga!- Olga there doing the worm.

0:19:51 > 0:19:54Lot of pain there, I imagine.

0:19:54 > 0:19:58Finally, for the boys, manly Tom. First set, completed like a man.

0:19:58 > 0:20:00Second set now.

0:20:00 > 0:20:03Some girly skipping, and he's across.

0:20:03 > 0:20:07Tom's bang up for this, look at that, an extra leap for nothing.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09On to the Sucker Punch. Takes a manly hit to the face.

0:20:09 > 0:20:13Doesn't feel it or show it.

0:20:13 > 0:20:14Amazing Manly Tom is yet to fall.

0:20:14 > 0:20:18So far, he hasn't touched any mud or water.

0:20:18 > 0:20:21Oh...

0:20:21 > 0:20:24Manly Tom will be livid at that.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27He got his hair band all wet.

0:20:27 > 0:20:30Brick Shed Olga attempts to teach the Big Balls who's boss now.

0:20:30 > 0:20:34I should think they're scared.

0:20:34 > 0:20:36As always, the Big Balls are boss.

0:20:36 > 0:20:40Next for the girls - sorry, I mean, the guys - it's Dainty Tred.

0:20:40 > 0:20:42A big run-up...

0:20:43 > 0:20:46And a big fall.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49I think he just scratched the deck.

0:20:49 > 0:20:54Here's an extended remix of DJ Tred's Big Balls fall. Look at that.

0:20:54 > 0:20:56Went completely off his face.

0:21:03 > 0:21:05How are you going to get over those big, red balls?

0:21:05 > 0:21:07I've got a theory.

0:21:07 > 0:21:08It's a bit like trampolining.

0:21:08 > 0:21:13- Jump, bend the knees, jump, bend the knees.- OK, theories are good.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16Remember, jump, bend the knees, jump, bend the knees.

0:21:17 > 0:21:20Good jumping. Good knee-bending.

0:21:20 > 0:21:24Oh, a bit of a wobble, but Katie is still on.

0:21:24 > 0:21:29Oh, she is just a knee-bend and a jump from crossing. And there it is!

0:21:29 > 0:21:31Katie finally discovered the secret to the Big Balls.

0:21:31 > 0:21:34It's jumping and knee-bending.

0:21:34 > 0:21:37Now she takes her method to the Cradles Of Doom, and it looks to be working.

0:21:38 > 0:21:44Oh, she is on to the second. One more jump for an incredible end to Katie's qualifier.

0:21:44 > 0:21:47This is going to be some time if she makes it. And she does!

0:21:47 > 0:21:531 minute 27 seconds, one of the fastest times this series.

0:21:53 > 0:21:57Manly Tom now. Can he compete with Katie and show her why he is a man?

0:21:57 > 0:21:59Oh. No.

0:21:59 > 0:22:01Can DJ Tred?

0:22:01 > 0:22:03No.

0:22:03 > 0:22:04He can't, either.

0:22:04 > 0:22:10Olga completes the qualifier in a none-too-bad three minutes four seconds.

0:22:11 > 0:22:16Tred finishes in a pretty good time to match his pretty hair.

0:22:16 > 0:22:21And Manly Tom storms home in 1 minute 29, just two seconds behind Katie.

0:22:21 > 0:22:26But it's Katie who comes out on top today.

0:22:26 > 0:22:28Time for a leaderboard update.

0:22:28 > 0:22:33Katie Who I'm Scared Of rockets into the top spot, with Manly Tom and Dainty Tred in second and third.

0:22:33 > 0:22:36Jade With One Sock is fifth, Brick Shed Olga is in eighth.

0:22:36 > 0:22:40Things are looking dicey for Analytical Neil, hanging on there in 12th place.

0:22:40 > 0:22:42Just five contestants to go.

0:22:42 > 0:22:46Now, the next two, Sarah and Andy, have something in common.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48FARTING NOISES

0:22:50 > 0:22:53That's right. They both like ridiculous headwear.

0:22:53 > 0:22:56And they have both come to have a go on these.

0:22:59 > 0:23:03Remember, if you smell gas, never light a naked flame.

0:23:03 > 0:23:09Off goes Andy. The 36-year-old satellite engineer gets AERIAL - see what I did?

0:23:10 > 0:23:14- Ow! Not so lucky that time. - Not so handy, Andy!

0:23:14 > 0:23:19At least he's already wearing a swimming hat. Now we know why.

0:23:19 > 0:23:21Here is 30-year-old water polo fanatic Sarah.

0:23:21 > 0:23:25Protective headgear didn't really help with that low blow, did it?

0:23:27 > 0:23:32Bandana Andy has come on Total Wipeout to impress his daughters.

0:23:32 > 0:23:33There you go.

0:23:33 > 0:23:37That headgear won't impress anyone. And neither will that.

0:23:37 > 0:23:40That will make them proud.

0:23:40 > 0:23:48Mind you, actually being able to play the Big Balls is impressive, and hard at such speed.

0:23:48 > 0:23:50I spend most of my time playing with little balls!

0:23:50 > 0:23:55It's about time I had a go on your big, red ones.

0:23:55 > 0:23:57OK, so let's see how she gets on here.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59He we go. Onto the first.

0:24:02 > 0:24:06She's onto the second. But she's sliding... She's slid...

0:24:06 > 0:24:09Slid off.

0:24:09 > 0:24:12Who's that? Oh, that is Band Andy, but he has ditched the bandana.

0:24:12 > 0:24:16A true master of disguise.

0:24:16 > 0:24:21Oh, but not a true master of the Cradles Of Doom.

0:24:23 > 0:24:28Silly Hat Sarah on the cradles now, hat still intact.

0:24:28 > 0:24:31Now she's only got one jump left to reach the finishing podium.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34Incredible! Two minutes, six seconds.

0:24:34 > 0:24:36She shoots, she scores.

0:24:36 > 0:24:39Hopefully that's the last piece of ridiculous headgear for today.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42Oh, what?!

0:24:42 > 0:24:44A luminous headband? Come on!

0:24:44 > 0:24:46Anyway, this is Ivor. He's a bus driver.

0:24:46 > 0:24:51What route will Ivor The Driver be taking around the course today?

0:24:51 > 0:24:53I'll be taking the straight route all the way.

0:24:53 > 0:24:55All the way down the course, straight.

0:24:55 > 0:24:57All the way. All the way.

0:24:57 > 0:25:00If you didn't catch that, Ivor will be taking the straight route

0:25:00 > 0:25:02all the way, all the way down the course.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04Straight along the course.

0:25:04 > 0:25:07Oh, and straight into the podium.

0:25:07 > 0:25:09Maybe it was part of the plan.

0:25:09 > 0:25:14It looks like Ivor tripped over his own feet and then head-butted the podium.

0:25:14 > 0:25:18Good news for Ivor - it appears that propellers are like buses.

0:25:18 > 0:25:21Two have come along at the same time, and there's nobody on them.

0:25:21 > 0:25:23Oh, dear.

0:25:24 > 0:25:27At least he didn't trip over his own feet that time.

0:25:30 > 0:25:33Ivor at the Big Balls now. He accelerates up the hill.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35Come on, Ivor.

0:25:35 > 0:25:39Oh, first stop, second stop, third stop, oh!

0:25:39 > 0:25:44Just run out of diesel just short of the final destination. Shame, that.

0:25:47 > 0:25:50This is today's penultimate contestant, Fiona from Hinckley.

0:25:50 > 0:25:55He she's just a normal, run-of-the-mill sales representative who believes in aliens.

0:25:55 > 0:26:00Aliens exist. I am absolutely convinced that they exist, because there is so much evidence.

0:26:00 > 0:26:06Cave drawings showing people wearing what looks like body suits.

0:26:06 > 0:26:10Aliens must have visited the planet at some point.

0:26:10 > 0:26:12It's really not...?

0:26:12 > 0:26:15No, OK.

0:26:15 > 0:26:19OK. May Fiona Be With You is about feel the force on the Sucker Punch.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21Will she live long and prosper?

0:26:21 > 0:26:25No. Not after a lungful of that brown gloop, she won't.

0:26:25 > 0:26:27There's an alien! No, it is her.

0:26:27 > 0:26:30You see? That's how it happens.

0:26:30 > 0:26:34It's not all bad news for Fiona. Today's guest puncher is William Shatner!

0:26:34 > 0:26:36He's not, so you know.

0:26:36 > 0:26:41That reminds me, Creature From The Black Lagoon is on tomorrow, I must set the box.

0:26:43 > 0:26:45I think she's enjoying this, though.

0:26:45 > 0:26:47Yoda!

0:26:47 > 0:26:49- Who said that?- Yoda!

0:26:49 > 0:26:51How's she doing that?

0:26:53 > 0:26:55That's it, Fiona!

0:26:56 > 0:26:59May Fiona Be With You is onto the Big Balls now.

0:27:00 > 0:27:03This is going to be just like Close Encounters Of The Third Kind.

0:27:03 > 0:27:07I hope for her sake it's not a close encounter of the motivator kind.

0:27:07 > 0:27:11It's there and ready, but she doesn't need it. Away she goes.

0:27:11 > 0:27:12Oh, ho, ho!

0:27:16 > 0:27:22May Fiona Be With You made a bid for the stars, but then pesky gravity took over, as it often does.

0:27:22 > 0:27:24At least that'll wash the mud off.

0:27:25 > 0:27:30Splashdown! So just the Cradles of Doom to go.

0:27:30 > 0:27:32Live long and prosper, Fiona!

0:27:32 > 0:27:36Amanda can actually do the Vulcan death grip, you know. For real.

0:27:38 > 0:27:39You can do it, Fiona!

0:27:41 > 0:27:44Encouraging words when faced with a ladder.

0:27:44 > 0:27:46It's the Cradles of Doom I'd be more worried about.

0:27:46 > 0:27:51- She takes a run-up, and she's onto the first one.- So close.

0:27:51 > 0:27:56Can Fiona boldly go where only Katie Who I'm Scared Of,

0:27:56 > 0:27:59Learned Lawrence and Hard Nut Harry have gone before?

0:27:59 > 0:28:02- Think of it as the mother ship.- No.

0:28:05 > 0:28:10That was not the mother ship!

0:28:10 > 0:28:14No, no, I could probably have told you that, but you wouldn't have believed me.

0:28:14 > 0:28:16Same thing with crop circles.

0:28:16 > 0:28:21So, despite that tumble, Fiona finishes in a whopping 5 minutes 39 seconds

0:28:21 > 0:28:23- which is the slowest so far today. - Beam me up!

0:28:25 > 0:28:27What?

0:28:28 > 0:28:32That's so unfair! Why did she get beamed up? What about me?

0:28:34 > 0:28:39I've wanted to be abducted by aliens for ages! I even made this hat.

0:28:39 > 0:28:42Come on, take me, please.

0:28:42 > 0:28:44Hold on...

0:28:44 > 0:28:47This is today's final contestant, Gideon.

0:28:47 > 0:28:50He likes to perform in historical re-enactments.

0:28:50 > 0:28:52And he likes dressing up as a pirate.

0:28:52 > 0:28:54Are you excited to be here?

0:28:54 > 0:28:57A little nervous, but definitely going to enjoy it.

0:28:57 > 0:28:59Oh, you seem a little bit shy.

0:28:59 > 0:29:02Are you sure you're in the right place, Gideon?

0:29:02 > 0:29:05Um, well, a little bit...

0:29:05 > 0:29:09A little bit edgy about this, but...

0:29:09 > 0:29:12Good morrow to thee, fair lords and ladies!

0:29:12 > 0:29:14Art thou ready to be entertained?

0:29:14 > 0:29:18If so, then let the entertainment commence!

0:29:18 > 0:29:20Yeah, whatever! I love this guy.

0:29:20 > 0:29:22Come on, Gideon, show us what you can do.

0:29:23 > 0:29:25Oh, hang on.

0:29:25 > 0:29:30Hang on, Gideon the Barbarian! Rrr!

0:29:30 > 0:29:34Well, the barbarian took one heck of a knock, but managed to hang on.

0:29:34 > 0:29:37Now he just needs to avoid the next propeller.

0:29:37 > 0:29:39Oh, no! He didn't.

0:29:39 > 0:29:42Still going, he just needs to watch out for the next...

0:29:42 > 0:29:44How is he still going?

0:29:44 > 0:29:46He has got legs of steel.

0:29:46 > 0:29:49But he has made it! In bits, but there.

0:29:49 > 0:29:53Despite taking four knocks, he makes it past the propellers.

0:29:53 > 0:29:57Watch out, Sucker Punch, here comes Gideon the Barbarian.

0:29:58 > 0:29:59Don't hit my Gideon.

0:30:01 > 0:30:03You shouldn't encourage it like that.

0:30:03 > 0:30:05Poor Gideon took a bit of a broadside there.

0:30:06 > 0:30:09What's he doing with his blindfold? That won't help.

0:30:09 > 0:30:10Can you see, Gideon?

0:30:10 > 0:30:12What is it with today's show?

0:30:12 > 0:30:15Is this the ridiculous headwear special and nobody told me?

0:30:15 > 0:30:19It's the Big Balls now. And problems with the trousers.

0:30:19 > 0:30:24I'm not going to make any jokes now, because it would be inappropriate.

0:30:24 > 0:30:27It seems barbarian costumes are excellent at retaining mud.

0:30:27 > 0:30:29Can somebody get him a belt?

0:30:29 > 0:30:31He looks like he's had an accident in the toilet.

0:30:31 > 0:30:34A pretty huge accident in a pretty enormous toilet...

0:30:34 > 0:30:36Let's leave it.

0:30:36 > 0:30:38Here comes the Barbarian.

0:30:41 > 0:30:43That was very dramatic.

0:30:43 > 0:30:46Is he wearing a headband or a blindfold?

0:30:48 > 0:30:50His trousers are full of water.

0:30:50 > 0:30:51This is a wardrobe nightmare.

0:30:51 > 0:30:53Aside from dressing up as a Barbarian,

0:30:53 > 0:30:56Gideon's other passion is cake decorating -

0:30:56 > 0:30:59another skill which is utterly useless right now.

0:30:59 > 0:31:02But he is on to the first cradle. Just.

0:31:04 > 0:31:07Now the second... Yes, he makes it. Come on, Gideon.

0:31:07 > 0:31:10A big finish will be the icing on this cake.

0:31:10 > 0:31:11Yes!

0:31:11 > 0:31:15Gideon the Barbarian completes the qualifier in 2:48.

0:31:15 > 0:31:18And that's enough to see him through to the next round.

0:31:18 > 0:31:22So, Katie Who I'm Scared Of finishes top of the leaderboard,

0:31:22 > 0:31:25with Manly Tom and Dainty Tred in second and third.

0:31:25 > 0:31:28Learned Lawrence, Silly Hat Sarah and Jade With One Sock

0:31:28 > 0:31:30are in fourth, fifth and sixth,

0:31:30 > 0:31:34with Band Andy, Ivor the Driver and Hard Nut Harry just behind them.

0:31:34 > 0:31:36Finally, Gideon the Barbarian,

0:31:36 > 0:31:38Airhead Charlotte, and Brick Shed Olga

0:31:38 > 0:31:41have scraped into the top 12 and qualified for Crash Mountain.

0:31:43 > 0:31:46So, 12 contestants will continue on their quest

0:31:46 > 0:31:48to win today's Total Wipeout,

0:31:48 > 0:31:51but, sadly, for the other eight, I have to say goodbye,

0:31:51 > 0:31:53so long, farewell,

0:31:53 > 0:31:56bonjour, guten tag, namaste, aloha,

0:31:56 > 0:31:58hola, who needs this?

0:31:58 > 0:32:02Losers, we will never forget you.

0:32:02 > 0:32:04# What can you do

0:32:04 > 0:32:07# When nothing you do

0:32:07 > 0:32:13# Will ease your troubled mind?

0:32:13 > 0:32:18# And where do you go

0:32:19 > 0:32:21# When you come

0:32:21 > 0:32:23# To the end...

0:32:24 > 0:32:28# Of

0:32:28 > 0:32:30# The line...

0:32:30 > 0:32:33Have the weaklings gone yet? Good.

0:32:33 > 0:32:36Right, next, Crash Mountain.

0:32:42 > 0:32:47A long time ago, in a galaxy relatively close to Argentina,

0:32:47 > 0:32:50a strange object with a spoony bit

0:32:50 > 0:32:55landed, unbeknownst to humankind, in a suburb of Buenos Aires.

0:32:55 > 0:33:00For a while, the locals worshipped it for as an offering from the gods.

0:33:01 > 0:33:07Until one man, Eduardo, realised its full potential,

0:33:07 > 0:33:10put it in a swimming pool, and called it Crash Mountain.

0:33:10 > 0:33:13The only remaining lifeforms left when this round is over

0:33:13 > 0:33:15are the five that reach the middle.

0:33:15 > 0:33:18Standing atop wobbly plinths one, two, and three

0:33:18 > 0:33:21are Brick Shed Olga, Learned Lawrence...

0:33:21 > 0:33:24Harry, it's the oldies against the babies!

0:33:24 > 0:33:25And Dainty Tred.

0:33:25 > 0:33:27I can't... I can't feel my face.

0:33:27 > 0:33:31That's because you did this. It'll come back. Eventually.

0:33:31 > 0:33:33Standing on podium four, it's Manly Tom.

0:33:33 > 0:33:36I'm going to dance, prance and mince my way to the middle.

0:33:36 > 0:33:39Yeah, he is going to do that, yeah.

0:33:39 > 0:33:42On five, six, seven and eight, it's Silly Hat Sarah...

0:33:43 > 0:33:46Ivor the Driver,

0:33:46 > 0:33:47Katie...

0:33:47 > 0:33:49I climb poles, I don't get knocked in by poles.

0:33:49 > 0:33:52..who I'm still scared of, and Band Andy.

0:33:52 > 0:33:56Kate, the only pole you're going on is the South Pole.

0:33:57 > 0:33:59She's going to hurt you. Oh, well.

0:33:59 > 0:34:02On podiums nine, 10 and 11, Hard Nut Harry...

0:34:02 > 0:34:06Lawrie, we might be the two OAPs, but I'll see you in the middle.

0:34:06 > 0:34:09- ..Airhead Charlotte... - I'm preparing for a crash landing!

0:34:09 > 0:34:11..and Gideon the Barbarian.

0:34:11 > 0:34:13Fortune favours the bold,

0:34:13 > 0:34:16and I'm going to need all the luck I can get to beat this lot.

0:34:16 > 0:34:18I think you'll be surprised, Gideon.

0:34:18 > 0:34:21Finally, on 12, it's Jade With One Sock.

0:34:21 > 0:34:22Boys, you're going down!

0:34:25 > 0:34:29Right now, we have 12 contestants, but we only need five.

0:34:29 > 0:34:30What's a girl to do?

0:34:30 > 0:34:34If only we had a terrifying means of brutally slashing the numbers.

0:34:35 > 0:34:39Oh, wait, we do! It's Crash Mountain!

0:34:39 > 0:34:40Are you all ready!

0:34:40 > 0:34:42- Yes!- No!

0:34:42 > 0:34:44Me too. Three, two, one...

0:34:45 > 0:34:46HOOTER

0:34:46 > 0:34:48So, Crash Mountain begins.

0:34:48 > 0:34:52Who will be the first to take on this revolving beast?

0:34:52 > 0:34:56Sarah, straight into the water. Now, Learned Lawrence.

0:34:56 > 0:34:58No, not clever. Manly Tom.

0:34:59 > 0:35:02That's the worst-timed jump I've ever seen.

0:35:02 > 0:35:04I'm not sure it was THAT funny.

0:35:04 > 0:35:06No, it wasn't, we're over it now.

0:35:06 > 0:35:10Tom clearly didn't look both ways before he jumped.

0:35:10 > 0:35:12Head nearly taken clean off.

0:35:12 > 0:35:14Now Katie tries...

0:35:14 > 0:35:16and misses the paddle entirely.

0:35:16 > 0:35:19Here's Jade With One Sock, running.

0:35:19 > 0:35:21Oh, just not in the right direction.

0:35:21 > 0:35:23Just running off into the water.

0:35:23 > 0:35:26Olga now, sinks like a brick shed.

0:35:26 > 0:35:28Ivor the Driver...

0:35:28 > 0:35:31If only they stopped leaning to the right.

0:35:31 > 0:35:34Wise words, Amanda. Yeah, you want to lean to the left.

0:35:34 > 0:35:36To the left, Gideon.

0:35:36 > 0:35:37To the left, Lawrence.

0:35:39 > 0:35:43What's going on? Ah, Charlotte's done it, finally.

0:35:43 > 0:35:46Stays low, dodging the sweeping arm, and again.

0:35:46 > 0:35:49Struggling now to get to her feet.

0:35:49 > 0:35:51It's all in the timing.

0:35:51 > 0:35:54That was nasty, but somehow she's still...

0:35:54 > 0:35:55No, no, she's off.

0:35:55 > 0:35:57Very much off.

0:35:59 > 0:36:01She had the wind knocked out of her sails

0:36:01 > 0:36:04and probably the air knocked out of her head, too.

0:36:07 > 0:36:09Now you see her,

0:36:09 > 0:36:10and now you don't.

0:36:11 > 0:36:13Back to the action.

0:36:13 > 0:36:15Silly Hat Sarah's on to the spoony bit.

0:36:15 > 0:36:18A close brush with the sweeping arm...

0:36:18 > 0:36:20Oh! Ow.

0:36:21 > 0:36:24I don't think Sarah's silly hat would have helped here.

0:36:24 > 0:36:27She got hit on the... well, on the bottom.

0:36:28 > 0:36:30OK, now Tred's going for it.

0:36:30 > 0:36:31I think he might do this.

0:36:31 > 0:36:33Preparing to run.

0:36:33 > 0:36:34Ooh!

0:36:34 > 0:36:37I'll save you from a "Tredding" carefully pun...

0:36:37 > 0:36:39You need to "Tred" carefully.

0:36:39 > 0:36:43Thank you, yes, that's the one. DJ Tred really carving his own niche.

0:36:43 > 0:36:47Here's a remix of another one of his truly spectacular dismounts.

0:36:48 > 0:36:52Right, Olga now, she's on, already an improvement on her first attempt.

0:36:52 > 0:36:54Olga! Olga! Olga!

0:36:54 > 0:36:59Someone's been giving Amanda jelly babies again, she just goes berserk.

0:36:59 > 0:37:01Come on, Olga!

0:37:01 > 0:37:03Right, Olga's up, and Olga's off.

0:37:03 > 0:37:06Almost immediately. Yep, straight away.

0:37:06 > 0:37:08Jade, opting for the leg-it approach, and she's on!

0:37:08 > 0:37:12That was so quick, barely time to see it!

0:37:12 > 0:37:14Jade's bold approach paid off,

0:37:14 > 0:37:17and she's the first to make it into the next round.

0:37:17 > 0:37:19And she appears to have found her sock.

0:37:22 > 0:37:25Now, I can tell by the shorts that's Band Andy on the paddle.

0:37:27 > 0:37:29That and the fact that everyone's saying his name.

0:37:29 > 0:37:34He's up, he's running, he's on. Yes, Andy joins Jade in the middle.

0:37:34 > 0:37:36That's two through to the Dizzy Dummies.

0:37:36 > 0:37:38Learned Lawrence making a bid to join them.

0:37:38 > 0:37:41Can he use his intelligence to make it to the middle?

0:37:42 > 0:37:44Now we'll see how it works...

0:37:44 > 0:37:46Oh, no. Wiped out.

0:37:48 > 0:37:51The 60-year-old may well need a hip replacement after that.

0:37:51 > 0:37:54That's where it gets you, in the hip. Always is.

0:37:54 > 0:37:58This is Charlotte now, staying low, avoiding the Bone Crusher.

0:37:58 > 0:38:00Slow to get to her feet, though.

0:38:02 > 0:38:05Yeah, that was inevitable.

0:38:06 > 0:38:09Such delicate poise in times of utter disaster.

0:38:10 > 0:38:12Now you see her, now you don't.

0:38:14 > 0:38:17- Who's next?- Ivor! "Ivor" feeling you're going to do it!

0:38:17 > 0:38:19Yes, thank you, Ivor giving it a go.

0:38:19 > 0:38:22Keep your feelings to yourself, Amanda. You've cursed him.

0:38:22 > 0:38:26Finally, the Barbarian. Gideon, on to the plank.

0:38:26 > 0:38:29Shuffling now. Shuffling closer to the centre...

0:38:29 > 0:38:31And it goes all wrong for him.

0:38:32 > 0:38:36The Barbarian takes on the spinning beast of Buenos Aires...

0:38:36 > 0:38:38and loses.

0:38:38 > 0:38:39So, who's still playing?

0:38:39 > 0:38:42Dainty Tred, Manly Tom,

0:38:42 > 0:38:45Learned Lawrence, Silly Hat Sarah,

0:38:45 > 0:38:48Brick Shed Olga, Ivor the Driver,

0:38:48 > 0:38:51Hard Nut Harry, Airhead Charlotte,

0:38:51 > 0:38:52Katie Who I'm Scared Of

0:38:52 > 0:38:54and Gideon the Barbarian.

0:38:56 > 0:38:58Ivor the Driver back on the rotating platform.

0:38:58 > 0:39:01Veering to the right again.

0:39:01 > 0:39:03Ooh, but somehow makes it to the middle!

0:39:03 > 0:39:08Just two places left, then, and Hard Nut Harry wants one of them.

0:39:08 > 0:39:11He ducks, he sprints, and the hard nut's cracked it!

0:39:11 > 0:39:13They have been watching and learning.

0:39:13 > 0:39:17Harry's made it through to the Dizzy Dummies, just one place left.

0:39:19 > 0:39:21That's Tred, and he wants it.

0:39:23 > 0:39:26Here he goes, and he's got it!

0:39:26 > 0:39:31It's game over for everyone else, because we've got the final five.

0:39:31 > 0:39:33Don't they make you proud?

0:39:33 > 0:39:35# England!

0:39:35 > 0:39:36Nah.

0:39:36 > 0:39:40As we wave goodbye to Crash Mountain with one hand,

0:39:40 > 0:39:42we wave hello to the next round with the other.

0:39:42 > 0:39:45But then we need to wave a final farewell

0:39:45 > 0:39:47to the seven contestants who fell by the wayside.

0:39:47 > 0:39:48Er... Ah!

0:39:48 > 0:39:51Right. It's Dizzy Dummies.

0:39:53 > 0:39:55This nose alone took a beating today.

0:39:55 > 0:39:59That ten grand would have paid for a piece of plastic surgery.

0:40:00 > 0:40:04Disappointed that I didn't get further, but what can you say?

0:40:04 > 0:40:06Angry. I'm actually really angry.

0:40:06 > 0:40:10I am absolutely gutted. I feel gutted.

0:40:11 > 0:40:13It's exhausting, trying to stop yourself shaking.

0:40:13 > 0:40:15It is just so fast, so quick.

0:40:16 > 0:40:19I'd suit Dizzy Dummies, because I am a dizzy girl.

0:40:19 > 0:40:21# Farewell, my friend...

0:40:21 > 0:40:22SCREAM

0:40:28 > 0:40:30This is what Dizzy Dummies is made of today.

0:40:30 > 0:40:33A sickening 40-second long spin,

0:40:33 > 0:40:37a waddle through the Back Door on the rotating platform,

0:40:37 > 0:40:40a hazardous dash over the log run,

0:40:40 > 0:40:43then the first four across get to do it all over again,

0:40:43 > 0:40:46but they must complete the Barrel Run

0:40:46 > 0:40:49whilst getting balls tossed in their faces by Los Tossas de Ballas.

0:40:50 > 0:40:53What's guaranteed to make you most sick?

0:40:53 > 0:40:57A chronic case of dysentery or a couple of goes of Dizzy Dummies?

0:40:57 > 0:41:00Have you not been paying attention? It's Dizzy Dummies!

0:41:00 > 0:41:02Are you all ready?

0:41:02 > 0:41:04Yes!

0:41:04 > 0:41:06Three, two, one...!

0:41:06 > 0:41:08And off they go.

0:41:08 > 0:41:10I just hope they don't spew,

0:41:10 > 0:41:14because that will set Amanda off, which is guaranteed to make me...

0:41:14 > 0:41:15Yeah.

0:41:15 > 0:41:19Jade With One Sock, the wannabe stunt woman, first on to Crash Mountain.

0:41:22 > 0:41:23Then there's Band Andy.

0:41:23 > 0:41:27I can't be 100% sure his bandana is under that helmet,

0:41:27 > 0:41:29which makes me strangely uneasy.

0:41:29 > 0:41:32Ivor the Driver has been on a few roundabouts in his bus,

0:41:32 > 0:41:35but none as fast as this. I hope.

0:41:37 > 0:41:39There's Hard Nut Harry.

0:41:39 > 0:41:42I hope his stomach's as tough as his general demeanour.

0:41:44 > 0:41:47And finally, there's the back of Tred's head.

0:41:47 > 0:41:50The front is not a pretty sight at the moment.

0:41:50 > 0:41:53In fact, it's not a pretty sight at any time, really.

0:41:53 > 0:41:56So, the spinning stops and the drenching begins.

0:41:56 > 0:41:58It's one man and his hose time.

0:41:59 > 0:42:00# Shaft

0:42:00 > 0:42:02# Damn right...

0:42:02 > 0:42:05He thinks he looks good doing that. It's a bit chaotic out there,

0:42:05 > 0:42:10Jade's first through the Back Door and off in the wrong direction.

0:42:10 > 0:42:13Ivor's through too and gets a bumpy landing.

0:42:15 > 0:42:16A bum-bruise for the bus driver.

0:42:16 > 0:42:18Tred and Harry squeeze through.

0:42:18 > 0:42:21And so it's log-run time.

0:42:22 > 0:42:25Jade's first attempt, skips a couple... Ooh!

0:42:25 > 0:42:28And executes a convincing stunt fall.

0:42:28 > 0:42:30Here comes Tred, this is looking good.

0:42:30 > 0:42:33Oh no, that looked ugly at the end.

0:42:33 > 0:42:35Plants a kiss on the finish line.

0:42:35 > 0:42:38The hard nut's off...

0:42:38 > 0:42:41Oh... And the hard nut's off.

0:42:41 > 0:42:44Is that a tooth flying through the air there?

0:42:44 > 0:42:48Ivor takes a run up... Oh, followed by a trip up.

0:42:48 > 0:42:52Can he hang on? No, he can't.

0:42:52 > 0:42:54Tred's back for more.

0:42:54 > 0:42:57At least that wasn't as painful as the first time round,

0:42:57 > 0:42:59but still sore, I suspect.

0:42:59 > 0:43:02Band Andy goes for it... Oh, oh, oh...

0:43:02 > 0:43:05An incredible performance.

0:43:05 > 0:43:07He is through to round two of Dizzy Dummies

0:43:07 > 0:43:09and quite pleased about it.

0:43:09 > 0:43:14Tred back for more pain, but this time, no pain and all gain.

0:43:14 > 0:43:17Tred joins Andy. Two places left.

0:43:17 > 0:43:20Hard Nut Harry again.

0:43:20 > 0:43:22Oh!

0:43:22 > 0:43:25Earning his nickname there.

0:43:25 > 0:43:26Overstretched himself.

0:43:26 > 0:43:29He'll feel that in the morning and probably right now too.

0:43:29 > 0:43:32Ivor the Driver sets off.

0:43:32 > 0:43:34Difficult route, but he's doing well

0:43:34 > 0:43:36and he makes it across!

0:43:37 > 0:43:40Interesting landing strategy. I think he learnt that off a seal.

0:43:40 > 0:43:43A bus-driving seal.

0:43:43 > 0:43:44SEAL BARKING

0:43:44 > 0:43:48Now, only one of Harry or Jade will make it through.

0:43:48 > 0:43:50And it's not Harry this time.

0:43:52 > 0:43:57Hard Nut Harry went completely ankles over head.

0:43:57 > 0:43:59Jade With One Sock takes a run-up.

0:43:59 > 0:44:02And, oh, prances straight into the water.

0:44:02 > 0:44:05Harry again now, this is getting tense.

0:44:05 > 0:44:07He makes it to the final log,

0:44:07 > 0:44:11stopped only by his thighs or something.

0:44:11 > 0:44:13Must be doing himself some damage.

0:44:13 > 0:44:15Jade skips across again... Oh!

0:44:15 > 0:44:17They really are going for it, desperate play.

0:44:17 > 0:44:20They want that place, but Jade and Harry

0:44:20 > 0:44:22must be completely drained by now.

0:44:22 > 0:44:26Only one of them can make it through to the next Dizzy Dummies,

0:44:26 > 0:44:29which is it to be? Hang on, it looks like Jade's limping.

0:44:29 > 0:44:30The klaxon sounds.

0:44:30 > 0:44:33She's bruised all her knee.

0:44:33 > 0:44:35- I think Jade's injured. - She's hurt her knee.

0:44:35 > 0:44:37Yes, thank you, doctor.

0:44:37 > 0:44:39That is really bad news for Jade.

0:44:39 > 0:44:43The doctors took a look at her knee and ruled her out of the competition.

0:44:43 > 0:44:45Great news for Harry, though,

0:44:45 > 0:44:48who joins Andy, Ivor and Tred on the Barrel Run.

0:44:48 > 0:44:50It is carnage out there today.

0:44:50 > 0:44:52Good job I'm safe in here.

0:44:53 > 0:44:54It's all right, I'm fine.

0:44:54 > 0:44:58I'm OK. It's OK, hurts.

0:44:59 > 0:45:02So the four boys, Harry, Tred, Ivor and Andy

0:45:02 > 0:45:05get strapped in for another 40 seconds of fun.

0:45:07 > 0:45:12Just look at their happy little faces, they're liking this.

0:45:13 > 0:45:15OK, here we go and they're off.

0:45:15 > 0:45:19Hardly bursting onto the course, are they?

0:45:19 > 0:45:23Tred strolls into an early lead, straight through the Back Door.

0:45:23 > 0:45:25Hard Nut Harry closing in.

0:45:25 > 0:45:27Then Ivor's through.

0:45:27 > 0:45:29And finally Andy.

0:45:29 > 0:45:32Dainty Tred has made the second barrel.

0:45:32 > 0:45:36Here come Las Tossas Del Ballas. Living the Argentinian dream,

0:45:36 > 0:45:39getting paid to knock British people off stuff.

0:45:40 > 0:45:42Ivor's off.

0:45:43 > 0:45:46Ivor the Driver couldn't quite hang on.

0:45:47 > 0:45:50Tred jumps but slips under his log, it's back to the start for him.

0:45:50 > 0:45:53- So Harry now taking the lead. - Come on, Harry.

0:45:53 > 0:45:55He got him in the face!

0:45:55 > 0:45:59Harry receiving the sole attention of the dodgeballers.

0:45:59 > 0:46:02Nice to have something to concentrate on. Andy's there too.

0:46:02 > 0:46:03Harry jumps.

0:46:03 > 0:46:07I forgot to tell you, those barrels have been greased.

0:46:07 > 0:46:09Which doesn't help!

0:46:09 > 0:46:11That's what grease does, makes it go slippy.

0:46:11 > 0:46:13# Ta-ra-ra boom-dee ay...

0:46:13 > 0:46:16Tred back on the barrels again, along with Band-Andy.

0:46:16 > 0:46:18That's got to be annoying.

0:46:18 > 0:46:20This isn't the place to hang around.

0:46:20 > 0:46:22Andy makes a run for it...

0:46:22 > 0:46:25Slips on the final barrel.

0:46:25 > 0:46:28That Union Jack like a red rag to those Argentinians,

0:46:28 > 0:46:30not a shot missed.

0:46:31 > 0:46:33So, Tred back in the lead.

0:46:33 > 0:46:36He leaps and somehow manages to miss...

0:46:36 > 0:46:39the finish podium, with everything but his face.

0:46:39 > 0:46:40DRAMATIC MUSIC

0:46:40 > 0:46:42MUSIC GOES OFF-KEY

0:46:44 > 0:46:46Ivor, now, takes the lead...

0:46:46 > 0:46:48For about a second.

0:46:51 > 0:46:55Meanwhile, Andy's still getting a pummelling from the dodgeballers.

0:46:55 > 0:46:58It's the Union Jack.

0:46:58 > 0:47:01Takes an direct hits on the Union Jack-sey. Pants of steel.

0:47:01 > 0:47:05Andy, pay attention, there's £10,000 at stake here, come on!

0:47:05 > 0:47:10That talk of money has motivated Harry, he edges to the final barrel.

0:47:13 > 0:47:16That seems to spark Andy into action...

0:47:16 > 0:47:19A bit too much action there.

0:47:19 > 0:47:22He was better off enjoying that that little lie down.

0:47:22 > 0:47:26Harry attempts to be the first across the barrel run... And fails.

0:47:26 > 0:47:29Yes, oh!

0:47:29 > 0:47:31I'm going to be here forever, aren't I?

0:47:31 > 0:47:34- Dizzy Dummies continues. - I've a sore head now.

0:47:36 > 0:47:38Ivor in front.

0:47:40 > 0:47:43Oh, and out of nowhere, he's done it!

0:47:43 > 0:47:46Will someone please stop giving Amanda jelly babies,

0:47:46 > 0:47:49she gets giddy, that's not funny any more.

0:47:49 > 0:47:51Two places left in the final round.

0:47:51 > 0:47:53Tred appears to really want one of them.

0:47:53 > 0:47:56He's putting everything on the line. And I mean everything!

0:47:56 > 0:48:00The dodgeballers have really found their range.

0:48:01 > 0:48:05That's just irritating. Poor Tred, black and blue all over.

0:48:05 > 0:48:08But Dainty Tred, I think still undaunted.

0:48:08 > 0:48:11Big jump required here.

0:48:11 > 0:48:14Yes! Tred takes the second spot in the Wipeout Zone,

0:48:14 > 0:48:17he's through to the final. Oh, what happened there?

0:48:19 > 0:48:21Easily done. When you stop concentrating.

0:48:21 > 0:48:24I don't believe it! Someone else has got hurt.

0:48:24 > 0:48:27If this carries on, we'll have Amanda doing the Wipeout Zone.

0:48:27 > 0:48:29It seems Tred, having completed the course

0:48:29 > 0:48:31and earned his place in the Wipeout Zone,

0:48:31 > 0:48:35has gone over on his ankle and been ruled out of the competition.

0:48:35 > 0:48:37That means Band Andy and Hard Nut Harry

0:48:37 > 0:48:40automatically qualify for the Wipeout Zone.

0:48:40 > 0:48:43We have the finalists, sort of by default.

0:48:43 > 0:48:47Still, bad things come in threes - that's me, Jade and Tred.

0:48:47 > 0:48:50Nothing else can go wrong today. Touch wood...

0:48:55 > 0:48:57It's been awesome, absolutely awesome.

0:48:58 > 0:49:01To get to the Wipeout Zone is a dream come true.

0:49:01 > 0:49:06It's been tough, brutal, demanding - mentally and physically.

0:49:08 > 0:49:11I've surprised myself, I weren't expecting to get this far.

0:49:11 > 0:49:13Not with all the young people that are here.

0:49:13 > 0:49:15My wife is going to be so proud

0:49:15 > 0:49:20her slightly overweight husband has got as far as he's got.

0:49:20 > 0:49:22There were times I felt like throwing the towel in,

0:49:22 > 0:49:25but my determination and will power got me through.

0:49:25 > 0:49:28I'm here sweetheart, look at me.

0:49:28 > 0:49:32If I was a betting man, I'd put all the money on me.

0:49:32 > 0:49:34Harry is the ultimate 60-year-old.

0:49:34 > 0:49:3660's only a number, it makes no difference.

0:49:36 > 0:49:40He does a lot of training and stuff.

0:49:40 > 0:49:43If I was to win Total Wipeout, it would mean everything.

0:49:43 > 0:49:44It would mean everything!

0:49:44 > 0:49:48My ultimate goal is to win it and hopefully, tonight will be my night.

0:49:48 > 0:49:52I'll be there at the end to take that big cheque.

0:49:52 > 0:49:55For my mum and dad. I'm going to give it to my all, 110%.

0:49:55 > 0:49:58Hopefully, I can see it through to the finish.

0:49:58 > 0:50:00Friends thought I'd fall at the first.

0:50:00 > 0:50:02My wife didn't think I'd make the first.

0:50:02 > 0:50:06As for my kids, they always back Daddy 100%.

0:50:06 > 0:50:09I'm just going to go out there, give it my all

0:50:09 > 0:50:13and show them young lads how an old fella can really go for it.

0:50:19 > 0:50:24Tonight's Wipeout Zone - the stomach-churning Killer Surf.

0:50:24 > 0:50:26The nail-biting Rapid Climb.

0:50:27 > 0:50:30The hair-raising See-Saw of Truth.

0:50:30 > 0:50:33The buttock-clenching Crazy Sweeper.

0:50:33 > 0:50:35The arm-knackering Rope Swing.

0:50:35 > 0:50:38The head-spinning Turntable

0:50:38 > 0:50:40and the finger-pressing button thing.

0:50:40 > 0:50:43Fastest across wins.

0:50:43 > 0:50:46A wise woman once said, "Where have all the heroes gone?

0:50:46 > 0:50:48"Where are all the gods?"

0:50:48 > 0:50:50No need to hold out for a hero any more,

0:50:50 > 0:50:53we've got three right here tonight.

0:50:53 > 0:50:57It's the Wipeout Zone and Harry is the first to brave it.

0:51:01 > 0:51:05Come on! Oldest man in this... In the... Power Zone. Come on!

0:51:05 > 0:51:08I didn't understand that but he's a hard nut to crack.

0:51:08 > 0:51:10It's Hard Nut Harry.

0:51:10 > 0:51:12HEARTBEAT

0:51:15 > 0:51:18He's in, so off Harry swims.

0:51:20 > 0:51:21Hurry up, Harry.

0:51:21 > 0:51:24He heads over to the Rapid Climb,

0:51:24 > 0:51:28where he will have to pull himself up despite the raging torrents.

0:51:28 > 0:51:30Once on, Harry has ten seconds to reach the top,

0:51:30 > 0:51:33or else a tidal wave will be released

0:51:33 > 0:51:35and get him, the countdown's begun.

0:51:35 > 0:51:38Bit of a stumble but Hard Nut Harry's looking good.

0:51:40 > 0:51:44And he has beaten the Tidal Wave. On to the See-Saw of Truth now.

0:51:44 > 0:51:48Needs excellent balance here, obviously.

0:51:48 > 0:51:52Also rightly cautious of the tipping point when it goes over,

0:51:52 > 0:51:54hoping it doesn't take him off. There it is,

0:51:54 > 0:51:58- Harry edges down the slope, he's across.- Harry!

0:51:58 > 0:52:02Crazy Sweeper, what approach will the hard nut take?

0:52:02 > 0:52:04Starts with a dash, and then a duck.

0:52:04 > 0:52:07Harry waits a moment longer...

0:52:07 > 0:52:09and he's off again.

0:52:11 > 0:52:13And down again. Cautious stuff but he's not fallen yet.

0:52:13 > 0:52:15Get up!

0:52:16 > 0:52:18He's sprinting across the podium,

0:52:18 > 0:52:21the sweeper's closing in, Harry, quick!

0:52:21 > 0:52:24Ooh! Ooh! Makes it by a hair's breadth.

0:52:24 > 0:52:28And now the Rope Swing. Harry grapples with the knot.

0:52:30 > 0:52:32Needs a lot of upper-body strength for this.

0:52:33 > 0:52:35I think he'll probably have what it takes.

0:52:37 > 0:52:41Bullseye! Hard Nut Harry lands bang in the middle of the turntable.

0:52:43 > 0:52:46Only one gap to traverse - he's done it.

0:52:46 > 0:52:48Hard Nut Harry gets across in 2:17.

0:52:48 > 0:52:50Come on!

0:52:50 > 0:52:54Harry didn't fall off a single obstacle, so for now, he is the man to beat.

0:52:56 > 0:52:57That was unbelievable.

0:52:57 > 0:53:00Fantastic. Woo!

0:53:00 > 0:53:02That was awesome, absolutely awesome!

0:53:02 > 0:53:05So proud of you, 60 years of age

0:53:05 > 0:53:07and taking on the Wipeout Zone like that.

0:53:07 > 0:53:11- You just did that in two minutes and 17 seconds.- Nice one!

0:53:11 > 0:53:14Woo! Come on!

0:53:14 > 0:53:17You ain't seen me, right?

0:53:17 > 0:53:19I haven't seen your bandana recently either, Andy.

0:53:24 > 0:53:27Regardless of whether he's got a bandana under that helmet or not,

0:53:27 > 0:53:31he begins his swim to the Rapid Climb.

0:53:31 > 0:53:34Harry's set a solid benchmark, so Andy can't afford to hang around

0:53:34 > 0:53:37- on any of these obstacles. - Come on, Andy!

0:53:37 > 0:53:42He reaches the Rapid Climb, the countdown begins as soon as he's up.

0:53:42 > 0:53:46He loses his footing a bit but he's dashing up the slope.

0:53:47 > 0:53:50Time ticking away but Andy also avoids the tidal wave.

0:53:50 > 0:53:52Great sportsmanship from Harry there.

0:53:52 > 0:53:56See-Saw of Truth time, Andy looking comfortable.

0:53:56 > 0:54:00He made that look easy. Now he must face the Crazy Sweeper.

0:54:00 > 0:54:03He set off very quickly. Lies low!

0:54:03 > 0:54:06Immediately back up on his feet again.

0:54:06 > 0:54:09Another duck, could slow him down.

0:54:09 > 0:54:13Now it's the podiums. He needs to be quick to stay ahead of the sweeper.

0:54:13 > 0:54:15He just makes it!

0:54:15 > 0:54:16Andy's across.

0:54:16 > 0:54:18Band Andy grabs the rope.

0:54:18 > 0:54:21Needs a clean landing to stay ahead of Harry.

0:54:21 > 0:54:23Got to get this right. He swings ...

0:54:24 > 0:54:25Bullseye again.

0:54:27 > 0:54:29Speedy stuff from Andy.

0:54:31 > 0:54:32And he snatches the lead.

0:54:34 > 0:54:36Like Harry, he didn't put a foot wrong

0:54:36 > 0:54:39but he did it 50 seconds quicker.

0:54:39 > 0:54:41It's over to Amanda to break the news.

0:54:41 > 0:54:44Oh, my goodness, what a run that was.

0:54:44 > 0:54:46Happy with that, happy with that!

0:54:46 > 0:54:48You two have had a really, really hard day,

0:54:48 > 0:54:53it's been absolutely exhausting. Andy, Harry was fantastic.

0:54:53 > 0:54:58- But you were faster, I'm sorry, Harry.- Nice one, mate.

0:54:58 > 0:54:59The girls are one step closer

0:54:59 > 0:55:03to their daddy being the Total Wipeout champion, let's watch Ivor.

0:55:05 > 0:55:06Let's do this.

0:55:06 > 0:55:10No, we'll leave you to it. Can Ivor drive a bus through Andy's time?

0:55:12 > 0:55:13He's away.

0:55:18 > 0:55:21He's got an amazing 1:23 to beat.

0:55:21 > 0:55:23It's going to take a perfect run.

0:55:23 > 0:55:24He can't afford any mistakes.

0:55:27 > 0:55:30The Rapid Climb countdown will begin as soon as he's up on that slope.

0:55:32 > 0:55:33Come on, Ivor!

0:55:36 > 0:55:38Taken a bit of a mouthful already,

0:55:38 > 0:55:40clears his airways and he's off.

0:55:40 > 0:55:43Making light work of the waterfall.

0:55:43 > 0:55:44And he's up.

0:55:46 > 0:55:48Ivor now steps cautiously onto the see-saw.

0:55:48 > 0:55:50Nice and steady, looking good.

0:55:52 > 0:55:54Safely across to the Crazy Sweeper.

0:55:57 > 0:55:59This is close, still.

0:55:59 > 0:56:03Andy ducked a couple of times so Ivor can make up a few seconds.

0:56:03 > 0:56:06He's going for it. Hurry up, Ivor! It's going to be close.

0:56:06 > 0:56:09No, just clipped by the sweeper.

0:56:09 > 0:56:13Looked like he was going to make it in one dash.

0:56:13 > 0:56:16But Ivor got caught right at the very end.

0:56:18 > 0:56:20Ic think I've got him.

0:56:20 > 0:56:22It's going to be difficult to beat Andy now.

0:56:22 > 0:56:24Ivor doesn't know his time.

0:56:24 > 0:56:28He must keep pushing on regardless and makes his swing.

0:56:29 > 0:56:32No, no! He's short of the turntable and in the water again.

0:56:32 > 0:56:36Disaster for Ivor. That's lost him more time.

0:56:38 > 0:56:41Now it's an exhausting climb up the rope ladder.

0:56:41 > 0:56:45His arms, I suspect, aching, fit to burst.

0:56:45 > 0:56:47The crowd encouraging him, but he's struggling.

0:56:47 > 0:56:49He's down again. Come on, Ivor, dig deep.

0:56:49 > 0:56:54Poor Ivor, been trying to get up that ladder for over a minute now.

0:56:54 > 0:56:56Oh, he's exhausted.

0:56:56 > 0:57:01He knows he must be defeated by now, but he's still determined to finish.

0:57:01 > 0:57:02I can't watch it.

0:57:02 > 0:57:06Nothing left in Ivor the Driver's tank.

0:57:07 > 0:57:09Yes, yes, Ivor!

0:57:09 > 0:57:12Somehow he's found some last reserves.

0:57:12 > 0:57:15Please don't fall off the turntable now.

0:57:15 > 0:57:18Thank goodness. Ivor finishes in 6:43.

0:57:18 > 0:57:20An epic time in every sense of the word.

0:57:22 > 0:57:26Ivor was in contention for a long time,

0:57:26 > 0:57:29but I suspect he knows he won't be winning tonight.

0:57:29 > 0:57:31Come on out and talk to me.

0:57:31 > 0:57:34The bus has reached the depot, how are you feeling?

0:57:34 > 0:57:36Shattered. Ran out of energy.

0:57:36 > 0:57:40I'm so proud of you, you did not give up,

0:57:40 > 0:57:42you were determined to get to the end.

0:57:42 > 0:57:44Yeah, most definitely,

0:57:44 > 0:57:46but that was it.

0:57:46 > 0:57:49Andy, you're a hero in your girls' eyes.

0:57:49 > 0:57:51And you're our hero tonight.

0:57:51 > 0:57:54You are our Total Wipeout Champion!

0:57:54 > 0:57:56Hard luck, Ivor.

0:58:01 > 0:58:05So, Andy, the 36-year-old satellite engineer from Bideford

0:58:05 > 0:58:08is today's Total Wipeout Champion.

0:58:08 > 0:58:11Let's hope next week's show will be accident-free.

0:58:12 > 0:58:13Ooh.

0:58:13 > 0:58:15Ouch!

0:58:15 > 0:58:17Enough of that.

0:58:17 > 0:58:19Time for me to make my exit.

0:58:19 > 0:58:23So, from Amanda and me, it's goodbye.

0:58:23 > 0:58:24I'm ready.

0:58:27 > 0:58:30I'm going to need a cushion.

0:58:36 > 0:58:38Subtitles by Red Bee Media

0:58:38 > 0:58:42Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk