0:00:02 > 0:00:05"Be not afraid of greatness.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07"Some are born great.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10"Some achieve greatness.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14"And some have greatness thrust upon them.
0:00:16 > 0:00:23"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26"Ask not what your country can do for you,
0:00:26 > 0:00:29"ask what you can do for your country."
0:00:31 > 0:00:33What does all this mean?
0:00:35 > 0:00:38I don't know, but I'm saying it in my epic voice.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43For this is Total Wipeout:
0:00:43 > 0:00:45The Awards.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51HAMMOND HUMS
0:00:53 > 0:00:54Welcome!
0:00:54 > 0:00:58Tonight we'll be looking back at the classic moments from the show,
0:00:58 > 0:01:02and awarding prizes to the best and most entertaining contestants.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05But first, here's a little treat for you.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08The Total Wipeout team have thrown together a little bloopers reel,
0:01:08 > 0:01:11so let's have a look at a few of my hilarious goofs -
0:01:11 > 0:01:15proof that in TV, things don't always go to plan.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19What shade of foundation are you using?
0:01:19 > 0:01:20Cream ivory.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Cream ivory?
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Do I look like a cream ivory?
0:01:25 > 0:01:27No, I'm a warm almond.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29You're fired, get out!
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Urghh!
0:01:31 > 0:01:34I asked for a double shot, skinny decaf, caramel macchiato,
0:01:34 > 0:01:35what's that filth?
0:01:35 > 0:01:37You are fired, get out!
0:01:37 > 0:01:41Hello, and smellcome to Total Wipeout. Smellcome?
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Get me the writers on the floor.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47Smellcome?! You, did you write that?
0:01:47 > 0:01:50You're fired - F-Y-R-E-D. Fired, get out!
0:01:50 > 0:01:53That bloopers reel is not as funny as I remember.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56Anyway, let's just see what is coming up.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00SCREAMING
0:02:00 > 0:02:03MUSIC: "I'll Be There For You" by the Rembrandts
0:02:08 > 0:02:11Yeah!!!!
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Woooooh!
0:02:39 > 0:02:44It's time for tonight's first award, which is for the best new obstacle.
0:02:44 > 0:02:45I don't think I'd be exaggerating
0:02:45 > 0:02:48if I were to say we've had more new obstacles this series
0:02:48 > 0:02:51then there are atoms in the universe.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54So, who could forget, the Broken Bassoon, the Chamber of
0:02:54 > 0:02:59Filth, Eduardo's Alligator Challenge - you have forgotten them!
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Anyway, for me, the hands-down winner of the Best New Obstacle
0:03:02 > 0:03:04was a timeless classic.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Ladies and gentlemen the Hammond Hurdles.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11Wow! Look at that, what an obstacle!
0:03:11 > 0:03:15And here is Non Bouncy Sophia showing us exactly how to defeat
0:03:15 > 0:03:17the Hammond Hurdles...
0:03:19 > 0:03:22..by breaking it, so no-one else can use it!
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Oh, that was a bit of a let-down.
0:03:25 > 0:03:31Anyway, here's the Best New Obstacle Award.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38Shiny, sleek, untested and put together in a hurry.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41These are the brand-new obstacles we have seen this series and the people
0:03:41 > 0:03:46that made them great, but who will win the Best New Obstacle Award?
0:03:53 > 0:03:55It's the Terror-Go-Round -
0:03:55 > 0:03:58one spinning cone,
0:03:58 > 0:04:01a bunch of punch bags, two spinning sticks,
0:04:01 > 0:04:04or Fickle Fingers Of Fate as we like to call them.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09And a couple of very excitable Argentineans with inflatable
0:04:09 > 0:04:11ammunition.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Put it all together, and it turns into a game that can be over
0:04:14 > 0:04:15very quickly,
0:04:15 > 0:04:18as Pleasure Beach Andy found out.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Andy's the one at the front, walking like a timid runner.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25He kept strolling along whilst his team-mates took a pounding.
0:04:26 > 0:04:31Even when he got hit, he just kept on going, like the terminator,
0:04:31 > 0:04:33until he got flannelled.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Then he just flung it aside.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Unfortunately, the Fickle Fingers knocked the Blackpool
0:04:43 > 0:04:48lad off his stride, and away he went with a cheery salute.
0:04:48 > 0:04:49Good work.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54In fourth place in the Best New Obstacle category it's
0:04:54 > 0:04:56the Time Portals,
0:04:56 > 0:05:00and from a galaxy far, far away, it's Obi Chris Kenobi.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02May the force be with you.
0:05:02 > 0:05:06A Star Wars fan, and part-time Morris dancer.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Look as he travels in bold dimensions,
0:05:09 > 0:05:13covers the lot - forwards,
0:05:13 > 0:05:15backwards,
0:05:15 > 0:05:16sideways,
0:05:16 > 0:05:18and diagonally.
0:05:18 > 0:05:19That's it, Chris!
0:05:19 > 0:05:21And of course - down.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36At number three, it's the mayhem that is Double Cross.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43There are three platforms by which you can enter it,
0:05:43 > 0:05:45and two ways you can leave.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49Either via the red platform, or the water.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53It's hard enough to cross as you can see,
0:05:53 > 0:05:58but even if you complete it, you're not out of danger yet.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05Here's how rugby player, Lineout Laura, tackled it.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Not very well.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12A full 360 classic wipeout.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22It's a high-class obstacle, the Wall Street Smash -
0:06:22 > 0:06:25a suave and sophisticated addition to the course.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28It gently takes people out like this.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35And this.
0:06:38 > 0:06:39And that.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52Octapoppa Tony made his eight kids proud with this effort.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58Ha-ha, now that's family entertainment!
0:07:07 > 0:07:12The winner of the Best New Obstacle is the Doorstep Challenge.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16What could possibly go wrong?
0:07:16 > 0:07:20It's just three doors with a few massive hammers behind them.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24All the contestants need to do is to pick the door without
0:07:24 > 0:07:26the hammer behind it.
0:07:26 > 0:07:27Like this.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29OK, so that one had a hammer behind it,
0:07:29 > 0:07:30and so did that one.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33In fact, you've only got one in three chance of not getting
0:07:33 > 0:07:34a mallet in the kisser.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37You could always try and dodge it, like this.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42But it's made more fun for us if you just accept your fate.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Life coach Windy Lynn thought positive thoughts,
0:07:52 > 0:07:57and hoped that luck would be on her side when she approached the doors.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59And that's the power of positive thinking.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Not that she would be doing much thinking
0:08:04 > 0:08:06after that the wallop to the noggin.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Oh yes!
0:08:13 > 0:08:15I thought I was going to go forward
0:08:15 > 0:08:17and I sort of went backwards.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19You think?!
0:08:19 > 0:08:20Well done, Lynn.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23A worthy recipient of the Best New Obstacle Award.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Most contestants apply for this show
0:08:28 > 0:08:31because they want to compete in the ultimate athletic battle.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Others just want to get on TV.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37Those are the ones we affectionately refer to as the strange ones.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40To celebrate those slightly deluded folk who are prepared to
0:08:40 > 0:08:44put their dignity on the line just for some screen time, this is
0:08:44 > 0:08:46the Five Minutes of Fame Award.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00From him,
0:09:00 > 0:09:03to him.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07To her - everybody wants to show off their talents.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Some are good skills,
0:09:10 > 0:09:11some are just wavy,
0:09:11 > 0:09:13and some... I don't know what he's doing.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15I don't know.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18No.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22Is it a bird, is it a plane - no, it's Zoe Spain.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25What a talent!
0:09:25 > 0:09:29# You got that something that keeps me so off balance
0:09:29 > 0:09:32# Baby, you're a challenge
0:09:32 > 0:09:34# Let's explore your talents. #
0:09:34 > 0:09:37ROCK GUITAR MUSIC
0:09:45 > 0:09:48MUSIC: "2-4-6-8 Motorway" by Tom Robinson
0:09:52 > 0:09:55So, we've narrowed down our top three favourites,
0:09:55 > 0:09:57and they look something like this.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Taking third place in the Five Minutes Of Fame Award,
0:10:02 > 0:10:03it's Arnie-ish Ashley.
0:10:03 > 0:10:04Why's he called that?
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Well, he sounds nothing like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- ARNIE IMPRESSION:- What are you doing?
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Get to the chopper now.
0:10:12 > 0:10:13These men are trying to kill us.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Think he's choking on something.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20But did Ashley make a better impression on the Qualifier?
0:10:24 > 0:10:26No, no he didn't, did he?
0:10:30 > 0:10:34It's Andy Bar Moustache, and he's talking facial hair.
0:10:36 > 0:10:37- Is that real?- Yes.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39- MOUSTACHE:- Ouch, get off!- Oh!
0:10:39 > 0:10:41- All real!- Oh, my goodness.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44Are your whiskers going to be a help or a hindrance today, Andy?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Definitely a help, they'll help me fly, they're like wings,
0:10:46 > 0:10:49they're like special mighty powers.
0:10:49 > 0:10:50- MOUSTACHE:- Mighty powers!
0:10:50 > 0:10:51- Are you just saying that?- Yes.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54- MOUSTACHE:- No, he isn't!
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Some might run and some might dash,
0:10:58 > 0:11:00but I have the power of the mighty moustache!
0:11:00 > 0:11:01- MOUSTACHE:- Hooray!
0:11:01 > 0:11:05Now, I don't know about you, but I love a bit of Victorian slapstick,
0:11:05 > 0:11:08and that's exactly what Andy provided on the Wall Street Smash.
0:11:11 > 0:11:16Double hit, and, as if that wasn't enough - classic comedy!
0:11:21 > 0:11:26It may have ended badly the first time, but Andy learned his lesson.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29That's it!
0:11:29 > 0:11:31A wonderful slide for comic effect.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40But the winner of the Five Minutes Of Fame Award -
0:11:40 > 0:11:45- SINGING:- # Jubilate, everybody, serve the Lord in all your... #
0:11:45 > 0:11:48It's church minister, and singing sensation, Rockin' Robin.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50# ..Presence singing... #
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Do you need me to go on?
0:11:52 > 0:11:53Yeah, why not, I'm loving this.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56# Enter now his courts with praise. #
0:11:57 > 0:12:00Bring on the obstacles! Do not let me fail.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02I want to take them on and win,
0:12:02 > 0:12:05I'm the vicar from Wales.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07MUSIC: "Faith" by George Michael
0:12:11 > 0:12:14But, as Robin soon found out -
0:12:14 > 0:12:18you can't sing when you swallow a hammer.
0:12:18 > 0:12:22MUSIC: "Knocking On Heaven's Door" by Guns N Roses.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Right in the cloister!
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Amen to that.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Hallelujah! Halle-lu-jah!
0:12:38 > 0:12:42The whole thing goes on for about five minutes so I won't finish it,
0:12:42 > 0:12:44but that's how I'm feeling right now,
0:12:44 > 0:12:46just, "Hallelujah, it's over!"
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Well done, Rockin' Robin -
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Winner of the Five Minutes of Fame Award.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Still to come on Total Wipeout: The Awards...
0:13:00 > 0:13:02But first, over to me.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06Hello, one of the biggest advances ever on Total Wipeout was
0:13:06 > 0:13:08the introduction of a thing that sprays
0:13:08 > 0:13:10people in the face on the Sucker Punch.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Brilliant! A marvel of the 21st-century.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Here's a fun fact, though.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17The sprays are coloured with a substance that is
0:13:17 > 0:13:20illegal in over 15 different countries.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24That's a fun fact, but as the fists usually gets all the attention,
0:13:24 > 0:13:28it is nice to let the sprays have their time in the limelight.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Or, kind of, browny, greeny light.
0:13:30 > 0:13:35This is the Squirter McWhirter Award for the best squirt in the face.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47Everyone on Total Wipeout gets their face painted for free,
0:13:47 > 0:13:50whether it be brown...
0:13:50 > 0:13:53browny green...
0:13:53 > 0:13:55dirty green...
0:13:55 > 0:13:57or worryingly off-white.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Basically, any colour of the rainbow,
0:14:02 > 0:14:06assuming it's a predominantly brown rainbow.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08There have been so many colourful characters
0:14:08 > 0:14:10to take on the Sucker Punch -
0:14:10 > 0:14:14not so colourful before they took it on, but they are now.
0:14:14 > 0:14:15So, to celebrate their uniqueness,
0:14:15 > 0:14:18here is the winner of the Squirter McWhirter Award.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Anyone for Helen, was served an ace in the face.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27That is paint, isn't it?
0:14:27 > 0:14:28Yes, I'm sure.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34New balls, please!
0:14:39 > 0:14:43So, was that game, set and match to the Qualifier or to Helen?
0:14:43 > 0:14:46I think that was game set and match to the Qualifier, there.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Well done, Anyone for Helen,
0:14:48 > 0:14:51winner of the Squirter McWhirter Award, she'll be proud.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54People often stop me in the street and say,
0:14:54 > 0:14:57"Being on Total Wipeout looks really painful,"
0:14:57 > 0:15:00and I say to them, "You wouldn't believe the half of it."
0:15:00 > 0:15:03I stubbed my toe kicking one of the production team this morning.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07I got a splinter from this, and I don't even know what this does.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11And I've got a long-standing problem with RSI, Repetitive Stool Injury.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15The people on the course get it pretty bad as well, to be fair, so,
0:15:15 > 0:15:17you might want to look away now,
0:15:17 > 0:15:20it's time for the You Might Want To Look Away Now Award.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28I'm going to be looking away for this section,
0:15:28 > 0:15:30whilst still trying to talk about it.
0:15:30 > 0:15:31Probably a man getting hurt there,
0:15:31 > 0:15:34and I guess a woman is hurting herself now.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36I'm going to look back just to make sure.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39NO, I didn't want to see that!
0:15:39 > 0:15:40I'm averting my eyes again,
0:15:40 > 0:15:42I'm trying to look through a crack in my fingers...
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Ow, those all look painful,
0:15:45 > 0:15:48but whose discomfort deserves recognition with an award?
0:15:52 > 0:15:56Number five in the You Might Want To Look Away Now category is
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Stunty Amanda on Double Cross.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01So many ways to get clobbered, but which did she choose?
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Ouch!
0:16:05 > 0:16:09Ooh! Yup, it's about the most hurty way.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13An incredible set-up for a perfect face plant. Smash!
0:16:16 > 0:16:19It's the Little Fearne-maid - dancers are normally
0:16:19 > 0:16:20so beautiful to watch.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Like this - such dainty moves.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Graceful, pretty.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28I might be a princess, but I don't need no prince on a horse,
0:16:28 > 0:16:31cos I'm going to rock this Wipeout course.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36Oh, I'm a little bit scared for Fearne, she's a little bit girly.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40I should look away, but you know - I can't!
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Ha-ha - right in the tiara! Thank you.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46SHE SCREAMS
0:16:52 > 0:16:56Even worse than that, it's Battered Gillian on the Doorstep Challenge.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58I wonder how she got that name?
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Ha-ha! That's why!
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Her ears are still ringing!
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Oooh!
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Oh, my god. I can't believe we've just done that to her!
0:17:12 > 0:17:16The battering didn't end there for Gillian.
0:17:16 > 0:17:17Ow!
0:17:21 > 0:17:22Poor Gillian!
0:17:22 > 0:17:24And it just kept coming!
0:17:30 > 0:17:32And coming!
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Why did everything hit me?
0:17:47 > 0:17:49This is the Shapeshifter.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Since its introduction, it's been
0:17:54 > 0:17:57the purveyor of fine Look Away Now moments in this series.
0:17:59 > 0:18:03And no contestant summed this up more than Silly Philly.
0:18:03 > 0:18:04Look away now, please!
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Oh, Philly, that was so silly!
0:18:17 > 0:18:21And the winner of the You Might Want To Look Away Now Award is...
0:18:21 > 0:18:24PE teacher, Dunkin' Clare.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27Before taking on the course, clear uttered the immortal words,
0:18:27 > 0:18:30"I'm going to slam dunk myself around this course."
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Words that she lived to regret.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35Unbelievable!
0:18:39 > 0:18:42"I'm going to slam-dunk myself around this course."
0:18:43 > 0:18:45That's a slam!
0:18:47 > 0:18:49And the dunk!
0:18:49 > 0:18:52You were unbelievable, I thought it was going to break you in two.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54It pretty much did, didn't it!
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Congratulations, Dunkin' Clare.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58I wish I had looked away!
0:18:59 > 0:19:03Exciting news, Clare is with us now to accept the award.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Erm, how do you feel, Clare?
0:19:08 > 0:19:11'I'm going to slam-dunk myself around this course!'
0:19:11 > 0:19:13I think need to work on your acceptance speech.
0:19:13 > 0:19:14All right, cheers.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Still to come on tonight's show...
0:19:27 > 0:19:31But first, think about the greatest stand-up comedians of all time.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35Billy Connolly, Peter Kay, Victoria Wood, Richard Pryor,
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Amanda Byram, Michael McIntyre.
0:19:37 > 0:19:41Out of all those legendary names, only one person on the list
0:19:41 > 0:19:44is also the co-presenter of an obstacle-based game show.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Yes, it's Amanda Byram.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Time now for a well-deserved tribute to Ms Byram's
0:19:51 > 0:19:54substantial contributions to comedy.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57It's the award for the recipient of Amanda's best jokes.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10At five, Georgia, who was stalked by her neighbour's cat.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Uh-oh!
0:20:12 > 0:20:13- CAT:- Miaow!
0:20:13 > 0:20:15And Amanda came up with a corker!
0:20:15 > 0:20:17I wonder how she's feline now?!
0:20:17 > 0:20:19HONK
0:20:23 > 0:20:26For chicken farm receptionist, Clucky Jackie, Amanda thrust
0:20:26 > 0:20:31her hand deep into the pun bag and yanked out this little beauty.
0:20:34 > 0:20:35Ho-ho, that was one fowl manoeuvre.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38HONK
0:20:38 > 0:20:42Look how pleased she is with that one. She's very pleased. Oh yes.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Basking in its glory.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Then there was five-foot Diddy Damien, the author.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54I wonder what Amanda made of him?
0:20:56 > 0:21:00Listen, apologies, but I have to ask you -
0:21:00 > 0:21:02do you write short stories?
0:21:02 > 0:21:03HONK
0:21:03 > 0:21:04That was low.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08MUSIC: "High Hopes" by Frank Sinatra
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Hello, hello, hello!
0:21:19 > 0:21:21This is policeman, Anthony Taylor.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Also known as Ant-spector.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Stop, police, this is my crime scene,
0:21:26 > 0:21:28you'd better lock this course down.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31Now, you might expect a police pun here,
0:21:31 > 0:21:35but Amanda's wit is a far more subtle beast than that.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Ooh! Ant...just got decked!
0:21:38 > 0:21:39HONK
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Well, she is happy. That's good.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46I'm such a moron.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Toot-toot-toot-toot!
0:21:50 > 0:21:52But, in first place -
0:21:52 > 0:21:57I am the dancing Queen, and today, the winner takes it all.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00That's Abba tribute singer, Not Swedish Sarah,
0:22:00 > 0:22:03so where could Amanda possibly go with this one?
0:22:05 > 0:22:06She's a super-trooper!
0:22:06 > 0:22:08HONK
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Honk, indeed!
0:22:10 > 0:22:12But that wasn't all, oh, no it wasn't.
0:22:15 > 0:22:16She took that right in the Chiquitita!
0:22:16 > 0:22:18I don't even know what that means!
0:22:18 > 0:22:21And it didn't stop there. But I wish it had.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Oh, Mamma Mia!
0:22:23 > 0:22:24HONK
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Yes, she will run out soon.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28And Sarah, The Winner Takes It All!
0:22:28 > 0:22:29HONK
0:22:29 > 0:22:30How many more?
0:22:30 > 0:22:31Take A Chance!
0:22:31 > 0:22:33HONK
0:22:35 > 0:22:38That's got to be every song on the best of Abba CD, surely!
0:22:40 > 0:22:45MUSIC: "Knowing Me, Knowing You" by ABBA
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Come on, you're doing this for the Money, Money, Money!
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Oh, yeah, missed that one.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54You know the winner takes it all. So, you took a chance.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Well done for that.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Thank you, Amanda! Wooooh!
0:22:58 > 0:22:59Well done, Not Swedish Sarah!
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Winner of the Amanda Byram Groaner Award.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07Now, the next award is something every Boy Scout in the country
0:23:07 > 0:23:08wants most...
0:23:08 > 0:23:12Oh, hang on, let me just read ahead... No, it's fine.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15It's the Five Metre Mud Pit Swim Badge...Award.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19I just thought it could have been...
0:23:27 > 0:23:29It goes without saying that the mud pit has had many,
0:23:29 > 0:23:31many visitors this series.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36She's got a mud beard.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41But this award is to honour those who try to swim their way
0:23:41 > 0:23:43out of the brown stuff.
0:23:56 > 0:24:00At number three, it's Holy Moly Alex, who returned for the Last
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Chance Saloon, after a gobsmacking performance first time around.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06- Talk to me, how was that for you, Alex?- I fell off every one.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Went hell for leather and got up there again.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12First time around, Alex remained spittle-free
0:24:12 > 0:24:14but he took an early dive on the second punch
0:24:14 > 0:24:17and opted instead for an enthusiastic front crawl, liberally
0:24:17 > 0:24:19coating himself in muck,
0:24:19 > 0:24:23and topping it all off with a fetching mud goatee.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24Stylish!
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Taking the silver medal, but there isn't a silver medal,
0:24:31 > 0:24:33is Girl Power Jodie.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35She adopted excellent posture on approach,
0:24:35 > 0:24:37looking every inch a title contender...
0:24:44 > 0:24:47..but got a bit let down by the doggy paddle.
0:24:47 > 0:24:51Still, that slop does rather burn the eyes, apparently.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Woof-woof-woof-woof!
0:24:58 > 0:25:01And the prize for Best Mud Swim goes to Sarah Direct,
0:25:01 > 0:25:04an insurance adviser from Devon.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08She fell at the first fist, but, faced with a long, long swim
0:25:08 > 0:25:11struck out bravely on her quest, and quickly found a rhythm.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15She's not moving.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18Sarah invented an new swimming stroke, the front splutterfly.
0:25:18 > 0:25:19HONK
0:25:19 > 0:25:22I thank you. And for that, she takes first prize.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Magnificent.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28It's the most difficult thing I've ever, ever done in my life, I
0:25:28 > 0:25:31just didn't know if I could actually do it,
0:25:31 > 0:25:35I was just like, "Oh, I'm so tired right now."
0:25:35 > 0:25:39I can't wait to just go and lie down somewhere and just collapse.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Well done, Sarah Direct,
0:25:41 > 0:25:45winner of the Five Metre Mud Pit Swim Badge Award.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Incredible performances from all of those competitors,
0:25:47 > 0:25:52but there is one person who deserves a special doff of the brown cap...
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Hold on, let me just read ahead again... No, it's fine.
0:25:55 > 0:25:59Someone who took wallowing in filth to an unprecedented height of disgust.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01It's the Mr Mop Special Mess Award.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13Priceless Howie, a 39-year-old account manager for an electronics
0:26:13 > 0:26:17firm in Swindon, brought a little pizzazz to the Wipeout course.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Howie claimed to be a walking piece of art.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29And he ended up looking a pretty picture.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34Howie went for a wonderful all-over application, leaving him
0:26:34 > 0:26:37looking like a cross between a festival-goer and Morph.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39That is priceless!
0:26:42 > 0:26:43You know what,
0:26:43 > 0:26:47I don't think I've ever seen anybody muddier in that mud pit!
0:26:47 > 0:26:50I can actually see the mud in my eyes.
0:26:50 > 0:26:54I've got this cloying stuff coming over, it's like that in my eyes.
0:26:54 > 0:26:59Priceless Howie, I present you with the Mr Mop Special Mess Award.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Hair today, gone tomorrow.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04That's the sort of nonsense that people come up with
0:27:04 > 0:27:08whenever they are trying to be funny in a hair-related situation.
0:27:08 > 0:27:12Not something that, personally, I would ever do myself. Personally.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15As luck would have it, this next award goes to somebody whose
0:27:15 > 0:27:18magnificent barnet helped them across the course.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20It's the Just Stepped Out Of The Salon Award,
0:27:20 > 0:27:24and to all of you taking part - hair's looking at you, kid!
0:27:24 > 0:27:25HONK
0:27:34 > 0:27:37So many wonderful hairdos have tried the course this series,
0:27:37 > 0:27:40and all seem to end up getting messed up.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49But there is one hairy hero who got through unscathed.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51No, definitely not him.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57Winning by a hair's breadth is Hairdo Ron Ron,
0:27:57 > 0:28:00the lifeguard from Leamington spa.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03He brought his own flotation aid in the form of a giant hairdo,
0:28:03 > 0:28:05but didn't seem to need it.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12Against all the odds, Ron stayed high and dry, right up
0:28:12 > 0:28:16until the Shapeshifter, and bided his time.
0:28:16 > 0:28:18And then this happened...
0:28:23 > 0:28:26He didn't get wet again!
0:28:26 > 0:28:29What poise, what panache. What hair!
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Amazing performance there from Ron.
0:28:32 > 0:28:33Now, bear with me, it is
0:28:33 > 0:28:39traditional at times like this to celebrate with an oyster. Mmm.
0:28:39 > 0:28:44Ron! Your hairdo has turned into a hair-don't!
0:28:47 > 0:28:50- Urrgh! Wipe your nose, Ronnie!- Sorry!
0:28:58 > 0:29:00Blurgh!
0:29:00 > 0:29:04Well done, Ron! Winner of the Just Stepped Out Of The Salon Award.
0:29:04 > 0:29:06Weird salon!
0:29:08 > 0:29:12If, like me, you were eating oysters, or any shellfish,
0:29:12 > 0:29:15for that matter, just then, I can only apologise for Ron.
0:29:15 > 0:29:17He might be a winner in the hair stakes,
0:29:17 > 0:29:20but when it comes to bogeys, he's a big loser.
0:29:20 > 0:29:22Or winner - depends on the competition.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24But put that from your mind.
0:29:24 > 0:29:26Or try, as best you can, because still to come tonight -
0:29:27 > 0:29:33I'm Anna, and I'm going to open a can of whoopass on this course.
0:29:33 > 0:29:35Oooh!
0:29:35 > 0:29:37I didn't expect whoop-ass to be that colour.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40Anyway, what's next, ah, this one's a good 'un.
0:29:40 > 0:29:42It's the slow motion award.
0:29:42 > 0:29:43Or, should I say,
0:29:43 > 0:29:47slo...w mo...tion awar...
0:29:47 > 0:29:50Oh, that's spoiled the effect.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52Never mind, Hammond, push on, be a pro.
0:29:52 > 0:29:55This series, we've enjoyed slow motion replays like never before.
0:29:55 > 0:29:58Now, that is partly because it has become clear how beguiling,
0:29:58 > 0:30:00bewitching and be-lightful they could be.
0:30:00 > 0:30:02It's mostly because Eduardo has only just found
0:30:02 > 0:30:04the button for it on the camera.
0:30:04 > 0:30:07So, now it's time to crown the contestant who looked
0:30:07 > 0:30:09the best in slow motion.
0:31:38 > 0:31:41Show champion, and jumping aficionado, High Kia, lived
0:31:41 > 0:31:46up to her name with this staggering display of sweeper dodging.
0:31:46 > 0:31:48A-mazing!
0:31:53 > 0:31:56The crowd went wild.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58Amanda went wild.
0:32:02 > 0:32:04And then Kia...fell off.
0:32:10 > 0:32:14At four, it's Diddy Damien, heading for a glove that normally
0:32:14 > 0:32:17finds its target slightly lower on the body.
0:32:21 > 0:32:26Look at that, an immaculate display of fist acceptance...in the face.
0:32:38 > 0:32:39AAAAAGH!
0:32:41 > 0:32:42AAAAAAGH!
0:32:44 > 0:32:48Now, the Blob only appeared in one show this series,
0:32:48 > 0:32:51but created a wonderful selection of slow mo moments,
0:32:51 > 0:32:54and is my favourite thing in the entire world.
0:32:57 > 0:32:58And this is Amateur Adam,
0:32:58 > 0:33:02who seemed blissfully unaware of the trial he was about to face.
0:33:04 > 0:33:05KLAXON SOUNDS
0:33:08 > 0:33:10AAAAAGH!
0:33:21 > 0:33:24At two, it's Tom the Viking, who isn't actually a Viking,
0:33:24 > 0:33:26but a business analyst from Nottingham.
0:33:26 > 0:33:28He tackled the Big Balls with a warrior's cry.
0:33:28 > 0:33:29Roaaaaarrr!
0:33:29 > 0:33:31And then this happened!
0:33:36 > 0:33:38Roaaaaarrr!
0:33:40 > 0:33:43His new Viking name - Loosely in de Damp.
0:33:49 > 0:33:52But nothing can top Iron Man Mark's second assault on the Qualifier.
0:33:52 > 0:33:56It went very wrong for Mark on the Unfair Stairs.
0:33:58 > 0:34:01That's a classic slip. Oh, look at that.
0:34:10 > 0:34:11Savour this, it's art!
0:34:15 > 0:34:17If you're watching this 200 years from now,
0:34:17 > 0:34:20just to understand what we were about...
0:34:21 > 0:34:23Yeah!
0:34:23 > 0:34:26Well done, Mark. Worthy winner of the Slow Motion Award.
0:34:32 > 0:34:36Now, I know taking part in Total Wipeout is exciting.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38Actually, I don't know, because I've never been allowed to do it,
0:34:38 > 0:34:40and I so could!
0:34:40 > 0:34:44But, bearing in mind, I find stairs quite thrilling, I can only imagine
0:34:44 > 0:34:47what it must be like to stand at the top of the Qualifier, with
0:34:47 > 0:34:50all that water and brightly coloured foam spread
0:34:50 > 0:34:53out as far as far as the eye can see.
0:34:53 > 0:34:55But, come on, I know it's a great view,
0:34:55 > 0:34:58but is it really necessary to shout quite as much?
0:34:58 > 0:35:02People having fun is one thing, but all that noise, it's just -
0:35:02 > 0:35:04oh, no, I've turned into my dad.
0:35:04 > 0:35:06It's time for the Stop Shouting Award for the biggest
0:35:06 > 0:35:08gob of the series.
0:35:12 > 0:35:15Woo-ha-ha, Wipeout!
0:35:15 > 0:35:19MUSIC: "Shout" by Tears For Fears
0:35:21 > 0:35:22AAAAAAGH!
0:35:22 > 0:35:24- ROAAAR!- MIAOW!
0:35:24 > 0:35:26- AAAAGH!- WHINNY!
0:35:26 > 0:35:29GROWL!
0:35:29 > 0:35:30- YEAH!- SHHH!
0:35:38 > 0:35:40Here's Digital Dan.
0:35:40 > 0:35:41Aaaaaaaagh!
0:35:41 > 0:35:43Really?
0:35:43 > 0:35:46Cheap, unnecessary noise, but funny.
0:35:51 > 0:35:55Oh, is this... Yeah, brace yourselves. Brace, brace...
0:35:55 > 0:35:56Rrrroaaaaarrrr!
0:35:56 > 0:35:59It's Dave from Accounts. All of him.
0:36:00 > 0:36:04Trained hard, said my prayers, taken my vitamins,
0:36:04 > 0:36:05now let's do this!
0:36:07 > 0:36:11Maybe not your typical accountant, but it's always the quiet ones,
0:36:11 > 0:36:13or, in Dave's case...
0:36:13 > 0:36:16the really, really noisy ones.
0:36:16 > 0:36:18Rrrroaaaaarrr!
0:36:23 > 0:36:26See what happens when you lose your headband, oh,
0:36:26 > 0:36:29and he's losing his pants, too.
0:36:29 > 0:36:31Dave screamed his way onto the Sucker Punch,
0:36:31 > 0:36:34until he got gloved in the cakehole.
0:36:36 > 0:36:39Then sounded barely human on the Shapeshifter.
0:36:41 > 0:36:44Try making these noises at home - you can't.
0:36:44 > 0:36:46Rrrroaaaaarrrr!
0:36:46 > 0:36:48Oh, yes!
0:36:50 > 0:36:53Oh, I'm cracking up!
0:36:53 > 0:36:55But Dave did save one little shout for the end -
0:36:55 > 0:36:57- Yeaaah!!- Yeah!
0:37:02 > 0:37:04We who are about to rock salute you!
0:37:06 > 0:37:10But, the noisiest contestant by far was Metal Marcy. He shouted here...
0:37:10 > 0:37:13Aaaaaagh!
0:37:13 > 0:37:16..he shouted there...
0:37:16 > 0:37:19Aaaaaagh!
0:37:19 > 0:37:23He pretty much shouted everywhere, and even got Amanda moshing.
0:37:24 > 0:37:26She doesn't normally do that.
0:37:29 > 0:37:31The Stop Shouting Award goes to Metal Marcy.
0:37:31 > 0:37:36OK, you've won, you can stop shouting now. That's enough.
0:37:39 > 0:37:42I'm going to divulge some insider gossip here, a little bit of secret
0:37:42 > 0:37:46information that I know the bigwigs don't want to get out.
0:37:46 > 0:37:48Some people have, on occasion,
0:37:48 > 0:37:51put a little bit of thought into this show.
0:37:51 > 0:37:52I know, that sounds crazy,
0:37:52 > 0:37:56and I didn't believe it either at first, I mean, just look at it.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59That's not even on this tray, but out there, on the course,
0:37:59 > 0:38:05the backroom boys only have one golden rule - "Keep it simple."
0:38:05 > 0:38:09That goes for the obstacles, the rules and the presenter.
0:38:09 > 0:38:10I don't get it.
0:38:10 > 0:38:12All of which goes to make it all the more entertaining
0:38:12 > 0:38:15when people insist on getting it wrong.
0:38:15 > 0:38:19So, this is the You're Doing It Wrong Award.
0:38:29 > 0:38:31- HE RAPS:- I am the man with the master plan...
0:38:31 > 0:38:34Start again, start again, let's do it again.
0:38:34 > 0:38:38MUSIC: "Nobody Does It Better" by Carly Simon
0:38:40 > 0:38:43I can't remember.
0:38:43 > 0:38:46# Nobody does it better
0:38:50 > 0:38:54# Nobody does it better
0:38:56 > 0:39:01# Nobody does it better
0:39:05 > 0:39:08# Better, better, better
0:39:09 > 0:39:13# I wasn't looking... #
0:39:13 > 0:39:14Argh!
0:39:16 > 0:39:17# I wasn't looking... #
0:39:17 > 0:39:19Argh!
0:39:20 > 0:39:24# I wasn't looking...
0:39:24 > 0:39:29# How do you learn to do the things you do? #
0:39:38 > 0:39:41At four, wildlife student, Crocodile Ben-dee,
0:39:41 > 0:39:43made it all the way to the Wipeout Zone and
0:39:43 > 0:39:46was looking good for the win, until he did this.
0:39:51 > 0:39:52Oh.
0:39:56 > 0:39:59Just a reminder here that Ben is against the clock,
0:39:59 > 0:40:02chasing those seconds,
0:40:02 > 0:40:05going as fast as he can.
0:40:06 > 0:40:08Stand-up! Get up!
0:40:08 > 0:40:12Oh, yes. Invaluable advice from Amanda which Ben chose to ignore,
0:40:12 > 0:40:15and that's how not to do the Crazy Sweeper.
0:40:15 > 0:40:17He did it wrong.
0:40:23 > 0:40:27Here is Awesome Amita with a well-prepared start.
0:40:28 > 0:40:29KLAXON SOUNDS
0:40:35 > 0:40:38Oh, no! No, that is wrong in so many ways.
0:40:42 > 0:40:44At two, sporting a precision haircut,
0:40:44 > 0:40:47it's Irish support worker, Annaline on the Shapeshifter.
0:40:50 > 0:40:52- Oh, yes!- Yes, she got that bit right.
0:40:52 > 0:40:55Hang on, ooooh!
0:41:00 > 0:41:04Oh, my goodness! OK, prepare yourself.
0:41:04 > 0:41:05Get ready.
0:41:13 > 0:41:16But the winner of the You're Doing It Wrong Award
0:41:16 > 0:41:18has to be Crash And Bernard.
0:41:18 > 0:41:20Just sit back and enjoy Bernard's majestic
0:41:20 > 0:41:23mishandling of the Time Portals.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25Whoa! Whoa!
0:41:27 > 0:41:29Oh, god.
0:41:41 > 0:41:45How can something so wrong feel so right?
0:41:45 > 0:41:48Somebody stop the poor man.
0:41:48 > 0:41:50I've got to say I'm so glad that's over.
0:41:50 > 0:41:52So am I!
0:41:52 > 0:41:54I was really fearing for your safety,
0:41:54 > 0:41:57and your limbs, at one point I honestly thought you were
0:41:57 > 0:41:59going to break your legs.
0:41:59 > 0:42:00Why did you just not let go?
0:42:00 > 0:42:03I'm fine. I'm a big man.
0:42:04 > 0:42:08Crash And Bernard, a worthy winner of the You're Doing It Wrong Award.
0:42:10 > 0:42:12Now, despite getting so much wrong,
0:42:12 > 0:42:16the intrepid Total Wipeout contestants do all share one thing.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18They rarely, if ever, give up.
0:42:18 > 0:42:21We always remember the champions, but what about the everyday
0:42:21 > 0:42:26folk, that normal-ish band of Brits who just come to give it a go.
0:42:26 > 0:42:29This special award celebrates you.
0:42:29 > 0:42:32It's time for the Everyman Salute.
0:42:32 > 0:42:36That was a stupid salute, I'll just do a respectful wave.
0:42:36 > 0:42:39They came, they got sore, but they conquered.
0:42:39 > 0:42:40And this award is for them.
0:42:49 > 0:42:52This series, we have seen almost 180 contestants make
0:42:52 > 0:42:56the pilgrimage to the Total Wipeout course in Argentina.
0:42:56 > 0:42:58Despite the odds being stacked against them,
0:42:58 > 0:43:00they soldiered on to the end.
0:43:02 > 0:43:05They may not all have won, but they are all winners in my eyes.
0:43:05 > 0:43:07Like Miriam.
0:43:07 > 0:43:11So, Miriam, if you were to win here today, £10,000
0:43:11 > 0:43:15and a trophy above your head, what would you do with that money?
0:43:15 > 0:43:17You're having a laugh! I'm not going to win.
0:43:17 > 0:43:20Well, it's good to see you're positive.
0:43:20 > 0:43:24And, despite Miriam's low expectations,
0:43:24 > 0:43:26she didn't give up...
0:43:28 > 0:43:31..when the going got nasty.
0:43:32 > 0:43:34Twice.
0:43:36 > 0:43:38Miriam battled on.
0:43:40 > 0:43:43The only glory Miriam was fighting for was her own.
0:43:46 > 0:43:48RICHARD CHUCKLES
0:43:50 > 0:43:53And although there are many who have performed great athletic
0:43:53 > 0:43:56feats on Total Wipeout...
0:43:56 > 0:43:58there are many that surprise not just us,
0:43:58 > 0:44:00but themselves.
0:44:03 > 0:44:06Some became champions,
0:44:06 > 0:44:07but for most, the joy
0:44:07 > 0:44:11and glory of just getting to the end was reward enough.
0:44:11 > 0:44:13Bring it! Bring it!
0:44:16 > 0:44:19On behalf of all of those who've taken part,
0:44:19 > 0:44:22and for all of those who never gave up...
0:44:23 > 0:44:27We present this award to the woman who epitomised all their efforts.
0:44:29 > 0:44:31She came...
0:44:31 > 0:44:33I just can't do this!
0:44:33 > 0:44:34..she got sore...
0:44:37 > 0:44:38But she conquered.
0:44:40 > 0:44:42I hate Total Wipeout!
0:44:42 > 0:44:44Miriam - this is for you.
0:44:44 > 0:44:46Oh, my gosh.
0:44:46 > 0:44:49Although, in the Bible it says, "The race is not for the swift or
0:44:49 > 0:44:53"the strong, but for he that endures to the end."
0:44:53 > 0:44:56And me, Miriam Virgo, endured to the end.
0:44:56 > 0:44:58So I'm still a winner in my eyes.
0:45:02 > 0:45:07Still to come tonight...
0:45:07 > 0:45:11- CAT:- Miaow!
0:45:11 > 0:45:14Throughout history, there have been many awards given to people,
0:45:14 > 0:45:17but why have no awards ever been given to techniques?
0:45:17 > 0:45:19For example, there are many techniques that
0:45:19 > 0:45:22I use as a presenter - let me demonstrate.
0:45:22 > 0:45:26This is my light comedy technique.
0:45:26 > 0:45:29Hello, and welcome to the show. You see?
0:45:29 > 0:45:32Now, this is my kid's show technique -
0:45:32 > 0:45:34Hello, and welcome to the show.
0:45:34 > 0:45:38And this is my death of a member of the Royal Family technique -
0:45:38 > 0:45:41Hello, and welcome to the show.
0:45:41 > 0:45:42That's how you do it.
0:45:42 > 0:45:46Anyway, here is the award for Best Ball Technique.
0:45:53 > 0:45:56The technique at number five is the classic face plant,
0:45:56 > 0:45:59so simple, yet so ineffective.
0:45:59 > 0:46:03It's just a case of running, jumping and landing on your face.
0:46:03 > 0:46:05The advantages of this technique - it's extremely entertaining.
0:46:05 > 0:46:08The disadvantage is it hurts your face.
0:46:10 > 0:46:13Not ours, just the person doing it - it hurts their face.
0:46:18 > 0:46:23This is Powerful Pete demonstrating a powerful display of face-plantery.
0:46:30 > 0:46:33Nice. There you go.
0:46:33 > 0:46:39The Ball technique at four is having no plan whatsoever.
0:46:39 > 0:46:43# I just don't know what to do with myself... #
0:46:43 > 0:46:47Now, this could take the form of becoming stranded, like that.
0:46:52 > 0:46:55Or, not even managing to get stranded.
0:46:59 > 0:47:02Bouncing and screaming with no particular plan.
0:47:06 > 0:47:10Or just wearing a fancy hat and hoping for the best.
0:47:12 > 0:47:17And this is Windy Lynn again, exemplifying the no-plan plan.
0:47:19 > 0:47:22Maybe that earlier smack in the face removed her ability to make
0:47:22 > 0:47:23a plan, who knows?
0:47:23 > 0:47:24Aaaaaaagh!
0:47:34 > 0:47:39At three, it's the technique known as the bouncing bomb.
0:47:39 > 0:47:43That's because it involves bouncing, and then doing a bomb.
0:47:43 > 0:47:45To be a true bouncing bomber, the slapping noise you make when
0:47:45 > 0:47:47you hit the water needs to make
0:47:47 > 0:47:49people physically wince when they hear it.
0:47:54 > 0:47:56That's got to sting!
0:47:56 > 0:47:59And this is Ant-spector demonstrating the finest
0:47:59 > 0:48:02bouncing bomb of the series.
0:48:04 > 0:48:06Wow! It's a good 'un.
0:48:13 > 0:48:17The second-placed Ball technique is the Nearly Made It approach.
0:48:17 > 0:48:20So many nearly headed for Big Ball Glory, but...
0:48:23 > 0:48:26They messed it up at the final hurdle.
0:48:26 > 0:48:29# Remember when we held on in the rain... #
0:48:33 > 0:48:38# Didn't we almost have it all?
0:48:41 > 0:48:47# When love was all we had worth giving.... #
0:48:47 > 0:48:49Yes, yes, hang tight.
0:49:04 > 0:49:06This is show-winning High Kia,
0:49:06 > 0:49:09with the finest Nearly Made It of the series.
0:49:09 > 0:49:11That just looks stupid!
0:49:14 > 0:49:18Pole-vaulting Kia looked a dead cert for Ball glory!
0:49:18 > 0:49:19That's it!
0:49:21 > 0:49:24But something went badly wrong.
0:49:24 > 0:49:25Oooh!
0:49:25 > 0:49:27Poor Kia!
0:49:27 > 0:49:30What did she do?!
0:49:33 > 0:49:37But the best Ball technique is called Crossing the Balls,
0:49:37 > 0:49:39because it is the only one that results in people actually
0:49:39 > 0:49:42crossing the balls, like Tangy Liam here.
0:49:44 > 0:49:47The technique involves progressing across all four Balls
0:49:47 > 0:49:48and reaching the other side.
0:49:48 > 0:49:52It's not simple, but these Ball crossers make it look that way.
0:49:52 > 0:49:55Brilliantly demonstrated by A Spoonful of Ellen.
0:49:55 > 0:49:58No matter what these Ball crossers do for the rest of their lives,
0:49:58 > 0:50:02they'll always look back on this wondrous achievement proudly.
0:50:02 > 0:50:05As, I'm sure, will Sporty Girl Amy.
0:50:05 > 0:50:08She's going to do it!
0:50:08 > 0:50:11And you, Oxford Psychology Ball Crossers Club Chairwoman, Helene!
0:50:14 > 0:50:18Hairdo Ron Ron really did did.
0:50:19 > 0:50:22And Alex, the Village Idiot, gave us all a shock.
0:50:22 > 0:50:25Oh, no, stay on, stay on! Oh, oh, oh, stay on!
0:50:28 > 0:50:29But finally, he made it!
0:50:32 > 0:50:34Then, there was Big Sis Becky.
0:50:34 > 0:50:35Hold tight!
0:50:38 > 0:50:39Yes!
0:50:39 > 0:50:41Dr Evil Amanda.
0:50:44 > 0:50:46Woooh!
0:50:46 > 0:50:48And Arnie-ish Ashley.
0:50:48 > 0:50:52Yes, Ball crossing really is the best Ball technique around.
0:50:53 > 0:50:56Now that is cool!
0:50:56 > 0:50:58Well, I've saved the best till last,
0:50:58 > 0:51:02and this next contestant really does deserve a special nod.
0:51:02 > 0:51:05Not only did Non Toff William cross the Big Red Balls,
0:51:05 > 0:51:09he set a new all-time record on the Qualifier for a non-celebrity.
0:51:09 > 0:51:12But having said that, setting a record kind of makes him
0:51:12 > 0:51:14a bit of a celebrity.
0:51:14 > 0:51:17But then, it would mean he's no longer a recordholder, which
0:51:17 > 0:51:23would mean he is not a celebrity, so that means he is a record holder...
0:51:23 > 0:51:26I'm getting a nosebleed. Here he is!
0:51:26 > 0:51:29He looked like any other Eton-educated tweed wearer,
0:51:29 > 0:51:32cantering along a pontoon until...
0:51:38 > 0:51:40He hammered the doorstep challenge.
0:51:42 > 0:51:44Made mincemeat of the Sucker Punch.
0:51:46 > 0:51:48Yes!
0:51:50 > 0:51:51Did this on the Big Red Balls.
0:51:56 > 0:51:58And then topped that off with an incredible finish.
0:52:02 > 0:52:05Wow - one minute, two seconds. Now that's a record.
0:52:06 > 0:52:10I don't think that was anything to do with my ability,
0:52:10 > 0:52:14it was just my attitude, giving it 110% and not letting up.
0:52:14 > 0:52:17Well done, Non Toff William, winner of the best Ball crossing
0:52:17 > 0:52:21technique, and this commemorative Go Faster flat cap.
0:52:21 > 0:52:22Like he needs it!
0:52:22 > 0:52:24I can categorically state that the word hero
0:52:24 > 0:52:27definitely applies to Will.
0:52:27 > 0:52:28And me.
0:52:28 > 0:52:31And joining this holy triumvirate is another hero,
0:52:31 > 0:52:34a hero for heroes, a hero's hero...
0:52:34 > 0:52:36Hang on, this hero's a she...
0:52:36 > 0:52:38What's the word for that? She-hero!
0:52:38 > 0:52:42This she-hero really made the most of her time on the course - she set
0:52:42 > 0:52:43a Total Wipeout record,
0:52:43 > 0:52:46then returned one last time to try and break it.
0:52:46 > 0:52:48This is the Hammond's Hero Award.
0:52:53 > 0:52:56And the recipient - Bouncy Jill.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58Jill set another all-time record on the Qualifier,
0:52:58 > 0:53:02the slowest ever, at 16 minutes 44 seconds.
0:53:02 > 0:53:05To put that into perspective, Non Toff Will could have run
0:53:05 > 0:53:09the course 16.2 times before she'd finished.
0:53:09 > 0:53:12Jill was invited back for a last chance to beat her time,
0:53:12 > 0:53:15and after gaining the notoriety of being the slowest,
0:53:15 > 0:53:18you have to give the girl her dues, this is a brave move.
0:53:20 > 0:53:23She came a cropper early on the Unfair Stairs,
0:53:23 > 0:53:26so things really didn't start well for Jill.
0:53:26 > 0:53:28Everyone was preparing for a long afternoon.
0:53:29 > 0:53:34Amanda started a book, Eduardo took some muscle relaxing salts.
0:53:37 > 0:53:416½ minutes in and Jill took an early dive on the Sucker Punch.
0:53:41 > 0:53:43Oh, Jill!
0:53:43 > 0:53:46But did she give up? Oh, no, she didn't.
0:53:53 > 0:53:55Look at that. A sight to behold.
0:53:55 > 0:53:59With a little help, she marched on, what spirit, what bravery!
0:54:01 > 0:54:04Eduardo saves the day.
0:54:04 > 0:54:06I'll see you in a minute.
0:54:09 > 0:54:11Look at the determination. Nine minutes in and faced with
0:54:11 > 0:54:15insurmountable odds, did Jill throw in the towel?
0:54:15 > 0:54:18Did she cry mercy? Did she call her travel insurers?
0:54:18 > 0:54:20You've got to beat that 16 minute record!
0:54:20 > 0:54:22No, she didn't.
0:54:27 > 0:54:29What a true she-hero!
0:54:35 > 0:54:39And, as the clock ticked towards the 15 minute mark,
0:54:39 > 0:54:43it became clear that Jill might actually beat her 16 minute record.
0:54:44 > 0:54:48Oh, this is stirring stuff.
0:54:48 > 0:54:51Eduardo was moving to following Jill up the stairs.
0:54:54 > 0:54:58Jill beat her previous slowest time by over a minute.
0:54:58 > 0:55:04You have just smashed just your 16 minute barrier! Yes!
0:55:05 > 0:55:09Which means she is now the second slowest on record.
0:55:09 > 0:55:12I'm faster than I was.
0:55:12 > 0:55:14So, if I come back about 50 more times,
0:55:14 > 0:55:16and if I get a minute faster every time,
0:55:16 > 0:55:21by, like, 2020 I will have won £10,000.
0:55:21 > 0:55:23Well done, Jill,
0:55:23 > 0:55:25and I mean that, for carrying on when all else was lost.
0:55:25 > 0:55:28A worthy winner of the Hammond's Hero Award.
0:55:31 > 0:55:35It's time for the climax of tonight's star-studded award show.
0:55:35 > 0:55:38And what a climax it is! It's proper Hollywood! I made that!
0:55:38 > 0:55:40This year it's a bit different, though.
0:55:40 > 0:55:43No best Total Wipeout Presenter Award.
0:55:43 > 0:55:46Can I have a Hollywood fanfare please?
0:55:46 > 0:55:50It's the People's Award For Best Presenter Of A BBC Early Evening,
0:55:50 > 0:55:53Saturday Light Entertainment Show Ever.
0:55:53 > 0:55:56And the nominees have been whittled down to two finalists,
0:55:56 > 0:56:00Richard Hammond and Amanda Byram.
0:56:00 > 0:56:02Since the start of the series you've been able to send in your
0:56:02 > 0:56:05postal votes to here -
0:56:05 > 0:56:07I probably should have mentioned that before now.
0:56:07 > 0:56:10Oh well, no point in crying over spilt milk.
0:56:10 > 0:56:13Voting is almost closed, so there is just time for me to vote.
0:56:14 > 0:56:17I will just put a cross there.
0:56:17 > 0:56:19Ooh, and that's the voting over!
0:56:19 > 0:56:22So, time to see who has won.
0:56:22 > 0:56:24Ooh, not many votes...
0:56:24 > 0:56:27just one in fact.
0:56:27 > 0:56:30This should be easy, can I have another Hollywood fanfare please?
0:56:30 > 0:56:33And the winner of the People's Award For Best Presenter Of A BBC,
0:56:33 > 0:56:36Early Evening, Saturday Light Entertainment Show Ever is...
0:56:36 > 0:56:38ORGAN FANFARE
0:56:38 > 0:56:39..Amanda Byram?
0:56:39 > 0:56:42Oh, I ticked the wrong box.
0:56:42 > 0:56:45I said this before, we need to make this idiot-proof!
0:56:45 > 0:56:49Anyway, congratulations again to Amanda. And all tonight's winners.
0:56:49 > 0:56:51What a year it's been!
0:56:51 > 0:56:54From all of us here, goodbye.
0:57:03 > 0:57:06# And the rhythm of life is a powerful beat
0:57:06 > 0:57:09# Puts a tingle in your fingers and a tingle in your feet
0:57:09 > 0:57:10# Rhythm in your bedroom
0:57:10 > 0:57:12# Rhythm in the street
0:57:12 > 0:57:15# Yes, the rhythm of life is a powerful beat
0:57:15 > 0:57:17# To feel the rhythm of life
0:57:17 > 0:57:20# To feel the powerful beat
0:57:20 > 0:57:22# To feel the tingle in your fingers
0:57:22 > 0:57:26# To feel the tingle in your feet
0:57:26 > 0:57:29# Daddy, go - go, go, go. #
0:57:33 > 0:57:37I can't even begin to tell you much I love that.
0:57:37 > 0:57:39# To feel the rhythm of life
0:57:39 > 0:57:42# To feel the power of the beat
0:57:42 > 0:57:45# To feel the tingle in your fingers
0:57:45 > 0:57:48# To feel the tingle in your feet
0:57:48 > 0:57:53# Daddy go - go, go, go. #
0:57:53 > 0:57:56If Total Wipeout was giving awards for the biggest bash,
0:57:56 > 0:57:58I would be number one.
0:57:59 > 0:58:02# To feel the rhythm of life
0:58:02 > 0:58:04# To feel the power of the beat
0:58:04 > 0:58:07# To feel the tingle in your fingers
0:58:07 > 0:58:10# To feel the tingle in your feet
0:58:10 > 0:58:13# Flip your wings and fly to Daddy
0:58:13 > 0:58:15# Take a dive and swim to your Daddy
0:58:18 > 0:58:20# Feel the rhythm of life
0:58:20 > 0:58:22# Of life, of life, of life.
0:58:22 > 0:58:24# Yeah!
0:58:24 > 0:58:25#Clap your hands!
0:58:25 > 0:58:27# Sock it to me!
0:58:27 > 0:58:28# Let it all hang out! #
0:58:31 > 0:58:34- ALL:- Yeah!
0:58:36 > 0:58:38Hee-hee-hee. Erm...
0:58:40 > 0:58:42# Flip your wings and fly to Daddy
0:58:42 > 0:58:45Flip your wings and fly to Daddy
0:58:45 > 0:58:47# Flip your wings and fly to Daddy
0:58:47 > 0:58:50# Fly, fly, fly to Daddy
0:58:50 > 0:58:53# Take a dive and swim to Daddy
0:58:53 > 0:58:56# Take a dive and swim to Daddy
0:58:56 > 0:58:58Take a dive and swim to Daddy
0:58:58 > 0:59:02# Swim, swim, swim to Daddy
0:59:02 > 0:59:04# Hit the floor and crawl to Daddy. #
0:59:04 > 0:59:06Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd