0:00:02 > 0:00:07Buenos Aires, Argentina. B-Bunos Aires? No, hang on.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10That doesn't sound right. I've been doing this show for ages
0:00:10 > 0:00:12and I still don't know the proper way to say it.
0:00:12 > 0:00:18Is it "Buenos Ires", "Buenos Aires", "Buenoth Areth"? Yeah, that's it.
0:00:18 > 0:00:19Buenoth Areth!
0:00:21 > 0:00:24Buenoth Areth, Argentinia, where 20 daredevil nut jobs,
0:00:24 > 0:00:28including a web designer, a retail manager and a florist,
0:00:28 > 0:00:31have travelled to take on a bigger, better,
0:00:31 > 0:00:34but not necessarily safer, Total Wipeout course.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37The sad fact is, only one can win.
0:00:37 > 0:00:41The happy fact is, we get to see the other 19 fall off stuff - a lot.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47Let the falling begin.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Welcome to Total Wipeout.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Now we're partway through this shiny new series,
0:00:52 > 0:00:55I think it's fair to assume you have an inkling
0:00:55 > 0:00:56as to what this show is all about.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59So rather than blather on about this week's obstacles,
0:00:59 > 0:01:03I'm going to use the time to indulge my other passion in life -
0:01:03 > 0:01:04Spanish guitar.
0:01:04 > 0:01:05Thank you.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13You know, I'm not feeling it. Maybe later.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Here's what's on today's show.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17The Qualifier. Many will fail.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Double Cross. Slightly fewer will fail.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Terror-Go-Round. Only three will fail.
0:01:24 > 0:01:29And the Wipeout Zone. Two will fail but one will unfail and bag £10,000.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Since the start of the show, the Total Wipeout switchboard
0:01:33 > 0:01:36has been inundated with callers
0:01:36 > 0:01:39begging to hear some of my Spanish guitar.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43I've only got 20 seconds before the first contestant is due to start
0:01:43 > 0:01:45but I'll give it a shot.
0:01:45 > 0:01:46Just...
0:01:46 > 0:01:48HE TUNES GUITAR
0:01:48 > 0:01:49HE HUMS PITCH
0:01:55 > 0:01:58HE CLEARS THROAT
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Perfect.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10I'm joined at the top of the Qualifier by Charles from Wales,
0:02:10 > 0:02:13who is truly a prince among men.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16You're in perfect, perfect nick for this, aren't you?
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Well, I think so, being my age.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21- How old are you?- I'm 60.
0:02:21 > 0:02:26- Oh! Charles! You're looking good, sunshine!- Thank you very much.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29- You're looking good yourself. - Oh, hello. Can we cut the tape now?
0:02:29 > 0:02:32I may be 60 and you think I'm over the hill,
0:02:32 > 0:02:35but you watch me go, I'm here to thrill!
0:02:35 > 0:02:39He's rhyming already. A good start. Right, off goes 60-year-old Charles.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Steady. Oh!
0:02:43 > 0:02:45OK, time to meet today's first obstacle.
0:02:47 > 0:02:48Oh, now this is new.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51It's a sort of flat roulette,
0:02:51 > 0:02:5615 unpredictable flaps that may at any time ping open. Like that.
0:03:00 > 0:03:05This is the Flap Trap. And here comes Charles.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08So he needs to dodge the loose flaps here. Here we go.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09This is exciting.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Oh. No. It's tricky.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15Yeah. That looked nasty.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17# Don't fence me in. #
0:03:17 > 0:03:22Really nasty. Head could have come off but didn't. That's good.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26Today's first flapastrophe. You see? Ha!
0:03:28 > 0:03:29Charles makes microchips
0:03:29 > 0:03:32and handles dangerous chemicals on a daily basis.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36So that nasty, toxic, brown water shouldn't put him off too much.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Oh, I think he's enjoying it.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Look at him. Shall we see it again?
0:03:41 > 0:03:43He chose to do that.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Charles needs to hoist himself out of the sludge
0:03:45 > 0:03:48as quickly as possible to the next obstacle.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Now, there used to be just 22 ill-tempered fists.
0:03:52 > 0:03:57But this series they've got into painting...
0:03:57 > 0:03:59people in the face.
0:03:59 > 0:04:03And then punching them. It's a masterpiece!
0:04:03 > 0:04:04I wish I'd thought of it.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08Right, here goes Charles. Will it be a Welsh whitewash?
0:04:10 > 0:04:14No, that's green, in fact. Hang on in, Charles. Hang on in.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Yes, looking good.
0:04:16 > 0:04:17No. Oh.
0:04:18 > 0:04:23He got some orange as well. That's like a bonus. And some brown.
0:04:23 > 0:04:24A lot of brown.
0:04:28 > 0:04:32Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!
0:04:32 > 0:04:33No, that is not chocolate.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36I don't know what it is but it's not chocolate.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40Microchip Charlie moves onto the next obstacle now, which isn't new.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43But then, perfection cannot be bettered.
0:04:43 > 0:04:49It's the Big Balls, with added demotivation from the Demotivator.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53Right, come on, Charles, only the fastest 12 get into the next round.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Here we go.
0:04:55 > 0:04:56Oh. Oh, dear.
0:05:01 > 0:05:02Yeah. Nice dive, though.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07So it's a swim and a climb for Microchip Charlie
0:05:07 > 0:05:10before attempting the final obstacle.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11What have we got? Ah!
0:05:11 > 0:05:16The Shapeshifter has been funked up with the addition of...a plank.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18OK. Stand on the aforementioned plank, pick a shape
0:05:18 > 0:05:21and then jump through it.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25No, not like that. More like this. And the clock stops.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28This is the Shape-Shape-Shape-Shapeshifter.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30With a plank.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32So, Charles walking the plank.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35Which window will he pick?
0:05:35 > 0:05:39Er... Oh, none of them. No.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40Round, square, triangle.
0:05:40 > 0:05:44Maybe he went for a window none of us could see.
0:05:47 > 0:05:51So Microchip Charlie climbs to the finish in a respectable 3:31.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Bravo, Charlie.
0:05:55 > 0:06:00- Not bad for a pensioner, eh? - Oh! Absolutely brilliant.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04- What was that?- Absolutely brilliant.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06I think he found that brilliant.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11Next to battle the Qualifier is 18-year-old Plymouth waitress
0:06:11 > 0:06:13and double-hard army cadet, Ellie.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18Or "Lli" as her vest appears to say.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Ellie, I have to ask you a question.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Do you know what you've let yourself in for?
0:06:23 > 0:06:28Looking at it, I don't know if I have. It's scary.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31Oh, it isn't, is it? Yeah, it is.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Ellie loves first aid and has met the Queen.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37I don't think she's done any first aid on Her Majesty.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40They're two separate things.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44Right, she's up and away. Ellie recently earned the title
0:06:44 > 0:06:47of Lord Lieutenant Cadet for the Plymouth area.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49So I shall call her Lord Ellie.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52So, my Lord, if you'd be so kind as to progress to the Flap Trap.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Oh, my Lord!
0:06:54 > 0:06:57At least she can put herself in the recovery position now.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59That's always a positive, you see.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04Onto the Sucker Punch now. I wonder what colour it will be here.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06White, green, maybe?
0:07:08 > 0:07:10No, brown. Just brown.
0:07:16 > 0:07:21OK, Ellie's pace has slowed somewhat. Come on, the Lord!
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Rubbing mud into your eyes - poor tactic.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Here we go. One, two, bend in half, fall in the water.
0:07:28 > 0:07:35Simultaneous leg and face burn, though. Very good. Seldom seen.
0:07:35 > 0:07:36Glad it is today.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Just the Shapeshifter with plank
0:07:39 > 0:07:42stands between Lord Ellie and a little lie-down.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46Seems to be struggling with the plank. Steady, Ellie, steady.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Timing.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Oh!
0:07:50 > 0:07:53Oh, she needs a first-aider. No, that is her. She is...
0:07:53 > 0:07:57There's a kind of beautiful poetic irony to... No, there isn't.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59So, Lord Ellie is helped to the finish podium
0:07:59 > 0:08:02by an invisible green friend in a time of 3:09.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Well done, m'Lud.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06This is Danny from Nottingham.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09He's an assistant manager in a men's tailors. Menswear!
0:08:09 > 0:08:12He's also been a karate champion,
0:08:12 > 0:08:15national-level salsa dancer and chef. Is there anything else?
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- You want to see how fast I am? - Yeah.- Look that way.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21- I can run down there and back before you turn round.- Dare you.- Go ahead.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Want to see it again?
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Come on, it's the way I tell 'em!
0:08:28 > 0:08:32Don't hate me, hate the game. Watch me dance, scratch and flow!
0:08:33 > 0:08:36That's nice. That's looking good.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Off goes Menswear Danny.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Oh, yeah, he got his cufflinks wet there.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Now, Danny may be a salsa-dancing karate chef and menswear specialist,
0:08:45 > 0:08:47but he's also a bit of a hero.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51He once saved a child from drowning, even though he hates water.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Not sure if a phobia of water is very helpful today.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Oh, well, his problem, not ours.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59JOHN INMAN: 'I'm free!'
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Oh! No, he's not going to like that.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07He got quite a distance, though, on the Flap Trap. That's the best yet.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Which is somehow significant.
0:09:10 > 0:09:15Now, on the Sucker Punch, will he get punched or painted?
0:09:16 > 0:09:21Maybe his dancing and karate skills are helpful in dodging. Yeah.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Oh, painted and punched.
0:09:23 > 0:09:24JOHN INMAN: 'I'm free!'
0:09:24 > 0:09:28No, you're not. You're covered in paint. And mud.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Big Balls now for Menswear Danny.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35Oh, Demotivator and he's off and...
0:09:35 > 0:09:36Oh! No, in.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Yeah, in.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41He won't be happy getting wet again, I suspect.
0:09:45 > 0:09:49Just the Shapeshifter to go. So, picking his moment carefully.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53- What's he gonna go for? He's gone for the circle.- Hang on tight.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57Hang on, Danny. I've got a good feeling about this.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Yes. Yes.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02- No, no, no.- Oh, no.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Oooh!
0:10:06 > 0:10:09MUSIC: Theme from "Are You Being Served?"
0:10:13 > 0:10:16So, Menswear Danny makes it to the finish one second slower than Ellie.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18- Bring it on!- Bring it!
0:10:18 > 0:10:19JOHN INMAN: 'Menswear!'
0:10:19 > 0:10:24Whoever built this course needs sacking. Right?
0:10:24 > 0:10:30Now for a Total Wipeout first. This is Grant and this is Smithy.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33They're neighbours and they're extremely competitive.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37So, this could get messy. Well, it will.
0:10:37 > 0:10:41The best of luck to both of you. May the best neighbour win.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42Thank you very much.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46- That's me, number one. You're going down.- No chance.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48OK, boys, enough. Take it away!
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Oh, no, they're fighting already.
0:10:50 > 0:10:51My name is Smithy.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54I'm going to fly across those big red balls in a jiffy!
0:10:54 > 0:11:00My name's Grant and I'm over 50 but be afraid cos I'm still right nifty!
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Smithy, I've sold your lawnmower!
0:11:02 > 0:11:05That is low. Right, they're off.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Smithy on the bottom there, looking slightly faster.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13I imagine he's fuming over the lawnmower issue.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Let's see if he can channel that anger into beating the Flap Trap.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Here we go.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Oh! No!
0:11:22 > 0:11:25That looks horrific!
0:11:25 > 0:11:26Everything's gonna come unbolted.
0:11:29 > 0:11:34Right, Grant gets his chance now. Come on. Yes! Yes.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Oh, dear.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38I think Grant From Next Door
0:11:38 > 0:11:42made it one flap further than Smithy From Next Door.
0:11:42 > 0:11:43Still hurts, though.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46Smithy on the Sucker Punch now. By the look of things,
0:11:46 > 0:11:50he's had some punching experience recently, so he should be good.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53No, he's not.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58Not even average, frankly. Barely got on it before he fell off.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Grant to the balls. Great vantage point up there
0:12:01 > 0:12:04for spying on your neighbour, I'd imagine.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09Focusing. One, two...
0:12:09 > 0:12:11- Argh!- ..dive.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13He's ended up in the pond.
0:12:16 > 0:12:21Smithy now on the planky Shapeshifter. Plank to square. Oh...
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Hold on, Smithy.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28- That's it. Hang tight. - This is useful advice.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32Somebody's got to do this today surely. Come on. Hang on.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35No. Without his lawnmower he's nothing.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39Grant now and this is looking like quite a quick run.
0:12:39 > 0:12:40But quite a wet run. But quick also.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50So Smithy From Next Door arrives home in 3:23.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53- Number one. - I'm not so sure if he is number one
0:12:53 > 0:12:55because Grant From Next Door has smashed Smithy's time.
0:12:55 > 0:13:002:44, the fastest today. That'll get the curtains twitching.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04- Grant, well done, my man.- Thank you. - How are you feeling after that?
0:13:04 > 0:13:08- I'm a wee bit out of puff. - Just a wee bit?- Just a wee bit.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11So, I take it you would like me to put you out of your misery
0:13:11 > 0:13:13and tell you who was faster.
0:13:13 > 0:13:14Please.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18OK. The fastest was...
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Grant!
0:13:19 > 0:13:21BOTH SHOUT
0:13:22 > 0:13:24- I can't believe that.- You're gutted.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Yeah, I think we have to have a retrial.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Experience beats youth once again.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Does anyone know where the engine is on one of these things?
0:13:35 > 0:13:37It's no good, I can't get it started.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Can someone call the bloke I bought it from? I want a refund.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41No Scottish notes, mind.
0:13:41 > 0:13:46Next onto the Qualifier is 29-year-old Kia from Kent.
0:13:46 > 0:13:47Kia loves trampolining
0:13:47 > 0:13:50and was national pole-vault champion at the age of 17.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52So I'm guessing she likes jumping about.
0:13:55 > 0:14:00- That just looks stupid.- No, no, it doesn't look stupid at all, Kia(!)
0:14:00 > 0:14:02I wanted a trampoline.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04We'll give you four big red balls. You can bounce off them.
0:14:04 > 0:14:09Kia heading to the big balls with a very quick time so far.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12One... two...
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Oh, hang on. This is good.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17- That's it!- Three.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21Come on, Kia. This is good.
0:14:21 > 0:14:22I think she's gonna...
0:14:22 > 0:14:23Oh. Fall in the water.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31But Kia could have the fastest time so far here.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Onto the planky Shapeshifter.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Oh, no. No.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Maybe she misread the instructions. Are there instructions? No.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Despite a complete set of falls,
0:14:43 > 0:14:48High-Kia reaches the end podium in a leaderboard topping 2:34.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Speaking of which, High-Kia is sitting pretty
0:14:50 > 0:14:53with Grant From Next Door and Lord Ellie in 2nd and 3rd.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Menswear Danny currently sits 4th by one second
0:14:57 > 0:15:01while Smithy From Next Door is 5th and Microchip Charlie is 6th.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05But with 14 competitors still to run, it could all change.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10- Next to go, be afraid. I am. - HE GROWLS
0:15:10 > 0:15:13This is Dave. OK, you're scaring me now.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Now I'm scared. And a bit icky.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18It's a way of life. You've got to train hard, say your prayers
0:15:18 > 0:15:21and take your vitamins and build up the perfect physique.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Clearly you're a wrestler. You've got the physique.
0:15:24 > 0:15:29- Er, no, not quite.- What do you do? - I work in accounts.
0:15:29 > 0:15:34I trained hard, said my prayers, taken my vitamins. Now let's do this!
0:15:34 > 0:15:38OK. So off goes Dave From Accounts and he's found a new T-shirt
0:15:38 > 0:15:40and that's definitely good news.
0:15:40 > 0:15:44Time to see how this armchair wrestler does on the Qualifier.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46He's lost his headband.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50And his belt, I'd say, by the look of things.
0:15:50 > 0:15:56Despite that, he's hurtling towards the Flap Trap. Here we go.
0:15:56 > 0:15:57Oh... Ouch.
0:16:04 > 0:16:09Oh, dear. Crack's starting to show.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11I've worked out what the problem is.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Dave's wearing his accounting shorts
0:16:13 > 0:16:16when he should have put on his wrestling ones. Easy mistake.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18Right, come on, Dave.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21He's on. Yes.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Oh! Ooh, no! Ow!
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Yeah, he lost his balance sheet.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Now, it's the ultimate armchair accounting wrestler
0:16:34 > 0:16:36versus big foam wheel grudge match.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Happens a lot but this is the ultimate one.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Here we go.
0:16:42 > 0:16:43Yes. Yes.
0:16:43 > 0:16:44Oh, the wheel won.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Oh, I'm cracking up.
0:16:55 > 0:17:01Yeah. Dave From Accounts reaches the end podium in 4:29.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04I think those shorts played havoc with your performance, don't you?
0:17:04 > 0:17:08I don't blame it on the shorts at all. I blame it on the pizzas.
0:17:08 > 0:17:14I've nothin' else to give. I need a bed. Quickly.
0:17:14 > 0:17:19This is Steve, 36, from Essex. He's a risk consultant, a safe chap.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27This is Jane, 44, from Stratford-upon-Avon.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30She's a gas officer. A safe lady.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35And this is God-frey from London.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38He's a bodybuilder and he's completely unsafe.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43I've got speed, power and agility! Watch out, baby!
0:17:43 > 0:17:49- Wa-ha-ha-ha! Wipeout! - To indignity and beyond!
0:17:49 > 0:17:51- So off goes Safe Steve. - MIDDLE OF THE ROAD MUSIC
0:17:51 > 0:17:53With safe music to accompany him.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Splendid.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01Will Steve take a safety-conscious approach to the Flap Trap?
0:18:01 > 0:18:03No, didn't assess that risk very well.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Yeah, it's unsafe there, look. Fell off, in fact.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12So, here's Safe Jane, looking safe.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17Oh! Now she's just looking sorry.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20The cautious approach hasn't worked as yet
0:18:20 > 0:18:26so it's time for Godfrey Almighty to try it his way.
0:18:26 > 0:18:27Oh!
0:18:27 > 0:18:31He nearly took that flap off, he did.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34I don't think the speed helps. It kind of made everything worse.
0:18:35 > 0:18:40So Jane is trying to establish the safest way across the Sucker Punch.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42- Has she found it? - MIDDLE OF THE ROAD MUSIC
0:18:42 > 0:18:43Loving the safe sounds.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Oh, no. She hasn't found it. No.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Here comes Godfrey Almighty.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Bodybuilder versus body puncher.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Puncher wins. Safe Steve now.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Will he risk humiliation?
0:18:59 > 0:19:05Oh, yeah, this is safely the most dazzling bounce I've seen all day.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07And that. And that!
0:19:11 > 0:19:14Lies on the ball. Turns a full 360.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18That's technical stuff.
0:19:18 > 0:19:19Now for Godfrey.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23He might actually pop one of these balls just with anger and fury.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27Oh, dear, no. Unsafe. Fell in.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29That was quite a plunge from Godfrey there.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31And, sadly, that is the end of his run.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33It seems he forgot to close his mouth,
0:19:33 > 0:19:36swallowed a substantial proportion of the pool
0:19:36 > 0:19:38and had to retire from the competition.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Here's hoping he didn't swallow ALL of the water.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44That would be very unsafe for Safe Jane and Safe Steve.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Oh, good, the water is back. Now, here we go.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50No, Jane is actually IN the water
0:19:50 > 0:19:51that is still there.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58Safe Jane finishes in a respectable 3:41 seconds.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00SHE CHEERS
0:20:00 > 0:20:03But Safe Steve completes the Qualifier in three minutes four,
0:20:03 > 0:20:06and wins the battle of Save versus Unsafe.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08That is going to hurt in the morning.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Yeah, probably hurts now, Steve, I should imagine.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14This is 24-year-old PE teacher Claire from Reading.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17She teaches basketball, football and parkour.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Do they really let the kids run on the roofs and all that? Amazing.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22I'd have loved that.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25Are you going to slam dunk yourself into that course?
0:20:25 > 0:20:28I'm going to slam dunk myself round this course.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Well, good luck out there today, Claire.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32- All right, cheers.- No dribbling.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Slam dunk, huh? It's usually a worry
0:20:34 > 0:20:36when contestants make claims like that, cos you see,
0:20:36 > 0:20:39she could end up getting slammed or dunked.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41But not necessarily both. It's a technical thing.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47I'm going to slam dunk myself round this course.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Oh, no, she said it again.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51I don't know if I can watch.
0:20:51 > 0:20:52Oh-ho-ho-ho!
0:20:52 > 0:20:55I'm so glad that happened to somebody not me!
0:20:55 > 0:20:56That...oh, she got slammed!
0:20:56 > 0:20:59'I'm going to slam dunk myself round this course.'
0:20:59 > 0:21:03Really slammed. Horrific! Ho-ho, oh!
0:21:03 > 0:21:05She's scarred the plank!
0:21:05 > 0:21:09Dunkin' Claire looks like she's just been quite badly slammed.
0:21:09 > 0:21:14Here we go, onto the Shapeshifter. Well, she's on the plank.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Bit unsteady but...oh, no!
0:21:16 > 0:21:18There's the dunk. She did both. Credit!
0:21:26 > 0:21:31Despite getting slammed and dunked, Claire is the fastest so far today.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34- Two minutes 20.- Oh, my God.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39Certainly didn't slam dunk it like I said I would. It trashed me.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Hopefully, 36-year-old Stanka from London
0:21:44 > 0:21:47won't do herself as much damage on the Qualifier.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50- What do you do?- Er, I'm a personal yoga instructor.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54Ooh, so are you, like, all bendy and floppy and stuff?
0:21:54 > 0:21:56I am bendy.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59MUSIC: "Bend Me, Shape Me" by Amen Corner
0:21:59 > 0:22:02OK, well there's something you don't see every day,
0:22:02 > 0:22:03or if you do, best not talk about it.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06There she goes, then. Slidey and bendy!
0:22:08 > 0:22:09Aagh!
0:22:09 > 0:22:10Er, wet and bendy.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12Painty and bendy.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Muddy and bendy.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Now let me guess, bouncy and bendy!
0:22:23 > 0:22:26So, can she complete the set?
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Yep! Shapey and bendy.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31I'm just saying words now followed by "bendy".
0:22:31 > 0:22:35Stanka reaches the end in a sedate and bendy time of 3:57.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39And it's done! Hoo!
0:22:39 > 0:22:42This is Miriam, who's 29 and from Reading.
0:22:42 > 0:22:46She's a lady in pink who works for the boys in blue.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Yep, she's a policewoman.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54So, Miriam, if you were to win here today, £10,000
0:22:54 > 0:22:57and a trophy above your head, what would you do with that money?
0:22:57 > 0:22:59You're having a laugh, Amanda! I'm not going to win!
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Well, it's good to see you're positive(!)
0:23:02 > 0:23:03See what she's doing now.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06Miriam's using reverse psychology, claiming she's not very good
0:23:06 > 0:23:11when in fact she's going to annihilate the opposition.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13You see, there she goes already,
0:23:13 > 0:23:16fooling us into thinking she can't get onto that pontoon.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18She could spring that if she wanted to.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Right, the Flap Trap now. Come on, Miriam.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Yeah...oh, no! Oh!
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Yeah...d'you know what?
0:23:26 > 0:23:28I'm starting to think she's not bluffing.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38I hate you lot! You're going to ruin my wig!
0:23:38 > 0:23:40OK, think I'll come back to Miriam.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44Give her time for some hair-piece realignment.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Let's meet the next contestant, and her name is...
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Charlene Mitchell.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Hang on, that's lost on younger viewers.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Yeah, that's better. THIS is Charlene Mitchell.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59It says here that she's a Thai boy boxing basher.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01I'm sure there's been a typo. What can...she can't be!
0:24:01 > 0:24:04I may be pocket-sized, but I'm a Thai-boxing boy-basher,
0:24:04 > 0:24:06and nothing can wipe me out!
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Oh, good, she's a Thai-boxing boy-basher!
0:24:09 > 0:24:12And nothing can wipe her out. That is quite a claim.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15And I'd suggest perhaps a false one.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17The Flap Trap now,
0:24:17 > 0:24:21and can Chaz Van Damme be the first to cross any obstacle today?
0:24:21 > 0:24:23No, she got wiped out.
0:24:28 > 0:24:32This is where Charlene won't get wiped out again.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36She got wiped out again.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41And again.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43That's a full house so far. Consistent.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44Just the Shapeshifter to go.
0:24:49 > 0:24:53Ooh! What's this? Charlene's stayed on. Is she going to make it?
0:24:53 > 0:24:56I think she is. Somebody could actually do this.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00MUSIC: "No Easy Way Out" by Robert Tepper
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Yes, come on!
0:25:02 > 0:25:04There's no easy way out.
0:25:05 > 0:25:06Oh, there is a shortcut.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09And Charlene's taken it. It's the fastest time today so far,
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Two minutes 17. Wow!
0:25:14 > 0:25:17So, Chaz Van Damme sits in first place
0:25:17 > 0:25:20with Dunking Claire in second and High-Kia in third.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23Safe Steve in fifth.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26Menswear Danny's in seventh.
0:25:26 > 0:25:31But down at the bottom, things are looking a bit unsafe for Safe Jane,
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Yogic Stanka and Dave From Accounts.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Oh, I've forgotten about Miriam and her wig.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38They're both just approaching the Big Balls.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41- That's a primal scream there. - Come on, Miriam.
0:25:44 > 0:25:45Step forward.
0:25:49 > 0:25:50A-a-agh!
0:25:50 > 0:25:53- Oh, look. How helpful!- There you go! - That's a service they provide.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55I want to stay here.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58- Can I just stay here?- No. - Amanda, please.- You can do it.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Yes, come on, Miriam! You can do it.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- Or something will happen. - I can't do it!
0:26:03 > 0:26:07Yes, you can. You can. You can!
0:26:07 > 0:26:11You can't. No, you can't do that, don't do that. You can't do it.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13I think I'm going to have to come back to Miriam,
0:26:13 > 0:26:16when she's nailed on her hair-piece again.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20A quick question for everyone watching at home.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24Who knows what the word "tenuous" means?
0:26:24 > 0:26:26If you do know what "tenuous" means,
0:26:26 > 0:26:29please don't think too hard while you're watching this next bit.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31And if you don't know what "tenuous" means,
0:26:31 > 0:26:34please don't look it up, cos everything's fine, OK?
0:26:34 > 0:26:35Forget I said anything.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38So, now time for a collection of people whose jobs
0:26:38 > 0:26:40end in the letters "ist".
0:26:40 > 0:26:43Stay away from the dictionary. Just leave it, it's fine.
0:26:43 > 0:26:4640-year-old Muhammed is a dent...ist.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48IST, yeah?
0:26:48 > 0:26:52While 41-year-old Suzy from Plymouth is a florist.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54You see the link, the whole "ist"?
0:26:54 > 0:26:59And then there's 27-year-old Andy, who's a web designer...ist!
0:26:59 > 0:27:01This has just got even more tenuous.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04Don't look it up, it just means nice!
0:27:04 > 0:27:06So here goes the dent-IST.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09- SQUEAKING - Squeaky start for Muhammed.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11That's got to burn.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14On the Flap Trap, now. Mind your teeth.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Oh, ooh! Oh!
0:27:18 > 0:27:20Like his patients, he's ended up horizontal.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24Suzy the florist now!
0:27:24 > 0:27:27Oh, like her flowers, she's been cut down in her prime
0:27:27 > 0:27:29and revived in some water.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Here's the web designer...ist.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37And just like a website, he's gone down.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40Suzy now to the Big Balls.
0:27:40 > 0:27:45Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee! Bzz-bzz!
0:27:45 > 0:27:48And belly-flop like a human!
0:27:54 > 0:27:56Andy's at the balls now.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59One, two...ooh, bit of three!
0:28:03 > 0:28:06Did a kind of roly-poly off the third, there.
0:28:06 > 0:28:10Sort of strangely elegant, was it? That's just me.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12Now, the dentist versus the Shapeshifter.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16Never been said before.
0:28:19 > 0:28:23He'll need some cosmetic work doing now, I think.
0:28:27 > 0:28:31Florist Suzy clocks in with three minutes 15.
0:28:31 > 0:28:32A-a-ah!
0:28:34 > 0:28:37Dentist Muhammed finishes in a time of three minutes seven.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39Woo!
0:28:39 > 0:28:42But the winner of this completely non-tenuously linked competition
0:28:42 > 0:28:44is web designer-ist Andy,
0:28:44 > 0:28:49who posts a time of two minutes 38, which means he is the fast...ist!
0:28:49 > 0:28:51Yes, that worked! That worked!
0:28:52 > 0:28:56So, back to Miriam. Her epic quest is nearing its end.
0:28:56 > 0:29:00- Should we call the cops?- Huh? - Should we call the cops?
0:29:00 > 0:29:02You're so funny(!)
0:29:02 > 0:29:03Stand up.
0:29:03 > 0:29:06That helps jumping techniques, first of all.
0:29:06 > 0:29:08This is good work.
0:29:08 > 0:29:10Carry on, Amanda, you're helping her.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14Yes? Ow! Ooh-hoo-hoo!
0:29:14 > 0:29:17Ooh, that didn't end well, did it? That didn't, no.
0:29:19 > 0:29:21Miriam shows true Total Wipeout spirit
0:29:21 > 0:29:26to complete the course in a whopping seven minutes 42.
0:29:26 > 0:29:28I hate Total Wipeout!
0:29:28 > 0:29:30Yeah, but we love you, Miriam, and your wig.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33Don't try this at home, folks!
0:29:33 > 0:29:35Don't come to Total Wipeout,
0:29:35 > 0:29:38unless you want to get wiped out like me, OK?
0:29:38 > 0:29:41Thank you very much. Oh, my gosh!
0:29:43 > 0:29:46Just three competitors to go, and this is Lakan,
0:29:46 > 0:29:48an 18-year-old IT apprentice.
0:29:48 > 0:29:50He's sporting a modern take on the mullet.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52I'm joined at the top of the Qualifier
0:29:52 > 0:29:54by lovely Lakan from Birmingham.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57Now Lovely Lakan, are you feeling lucky today?
0:29:57 > 0:30:01Yeah, I'm sure I am, Amanda. I sure am, Amanda!
0:30:01 > 0:30:03Back in Birmingham, is everybody rooting for you?
0:30:03 > 0:30:07Are they all good about your chances against the Qualifier?
0:30:07 > 0:30:09Er, yeah, kind of.
0:30:09 > 0:30:11My dad and them, they don't believe in me.
0:30:13 > 0:30:16I think you need a hug. Ohhh, Lakan! You're going to be absolutely fine.
0:30:16 > 0:30:19You might not be because you're up against Laura,
0:30:19 > 0:30:23a 28-year-old rugby player who's also from Birmingham.
0:30:23 > 0:30:25Quick feet, nimble, agile.
0:30:25 > 0:30:28It's all good things that should help me get round there.
0:30:28 > 0:30:30And finally, there's Katie,
0:30:30 > 0:30:33a 27-year-old PhD research student and fitness freak from Swansea.
0:30:33 > 0:30:35I work out seven times a week.
0:30:35 > 0:30:39I do kickboxing, Funkypumps, I run up mountains.
0:30:39 > 0:30:41You name it, basically, I do it.
0:30:41 > 0:30:43OK, well, good luck, Lakan.
0:30:43 > 0:30:44Oh, Lakan.
0:30:44 > 0:30:47Watch me tackle this course, I'll kick those big red balls into touch!
0:30:47 > 0:30:49The Total Wipeout course better watch out
0:30:49 > 0:30:52cos I'm going to smash it right up! Woo!
0:30:52 > 0:30:56So, girls first, and here's Katie Train-A-Lot,
0:30:56 > 0:31:00who trains seven days a week, and that is a lot.
0:31:00 > 0:31:01Onto the pontoons.
0:31:01 > 0:31:04Laura is a winger for the Lichfield Women's Rugby Club,
0:31:04 > 0:31:05so she should be quick.
0:31:07 > 0:31:10And in considerable pain right now, I'd say.
0:31:10 > 0:31:13Lineout Laura gets fired by a flap into the bog.
0:31:13 > 0:31:16Good distance, but unfortunate placement of the stairs.
0:31:17 > 0:31:20Here comes Lakan, who doesn't play Premiership rugby
0:31:20 > 0:31:21or train seven days a week.
0:31:21 > 0:31:25- Oh, don't hit Lakan.- Ooh, good, what's...hang on! Look at that! Wow!
0:31:25 > 0:31:28He's the first today to cross the Flap Traps.
0:31:29 > 0:31:33Katie Train-A-Lot is a member of a boxing gym, so I'm not going to
0:31:33 > 0:31:35tempt anything by saying she'll be good here, but...oh.
0:31:35 > 0:31:38I'm glad I didn't. I feel bad now.
0:31:41 > 0:31:44But how will Katie Train-A-Lot fare on the balls?
0:31:47 > 0:31:51Beaten one, beaten two, beaten three...
0:31:51 > 0:31:52beaten by four. Hmm.
0:31:52 > 0:31:56Well, her technique was flawless for the first 75% of that attempt.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58I did those maths in my head just then.
0:31:58 > 0:32:01Shapeshifter with plank for Lineout Laura,
0:32:01 > 0:32:03and this is looking like a very good time.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06She's just going for it! Oh, she got it, she got it.
0:32:06 > 0:32:10Ah, I'd say that's going to hurt.
0:32:10 > 0:32:12But Lineout Laura reaches the finish
0:32:12 > 0:32:14in a very quick two minutes four seconds,
0:32:14 > 0:32:17and jumps straight to the top of the leaderboard.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19Whilst...hang on,
0:32:19 > 0:32:21Katie Train-A-Lot's also finished in two minutes four!
0:32:21 > 0:32:23It's a dead heat.
0:32:23 > 0:32:25Back to Lakan on the Sucker Punch.
0:32:25 > 0:32:27It looks like Lakan's on his side.
0:32:27 > 0:32:29Heh-heh-heh(!)
0:32:29 > 0:32:32Getting painted, but that's OK. It's a shame there's no purple paint.
0:32:32 > 0:32:35Apparently that's Lakan's favourite colour.
0:32:35 > 0:32:39My bedroom's purple, my curtains are purple, my toothbrush is purple.
0:32:39 > 0:32:42My bathroom's purple, my duvet's purple, my carpet's purple,
0:32:42 > 0:32:44my wallpaper's purple. My hair's purple,
0:32:44 > 0:32:45my clothes are purple. I'm purple.
0:32:45 > 0:32:47How does he find anything?
0:32:47 > 0:32:50Lakan to the balls. And they've gone purple.
0:32:53 > 0:32:56And he's gone all wet. Still, he got as far as Katie did.
0:32:59 > 0:33:03Wow, Lakan's reached the Shapeshifter in record time.
0:33:03 > 0:33:06Can this purple-loving IT apprentice
0:33:06 > 0:33:08possibly beat the fitness-loving ladies?
0:33:08 > 0:33:11Come on! Oh...
0:33:13 > 0:33:15Come on.
0:33:17 > 0:33:21This is desperate, this is epic...
0:33:21 > 0:33:22..if a bit silly.
0:33:24 > 0:33:27I knew it, I knew it.
0:33:27 > 0:33:30MUSIC: "Purple Rain" by Prince
0:33:33 > 0:33:35He's changed! The Artist Formerly Known as Lakan
0:33:35 > 0:33:38stops the clock in one minute 35,
0:33:38 > 0:33:41the fastest qualifier time today by far!
0:33:43 > 0:33:47So, the Artist Formerly Known as Lakan takes top spot
0:33:47 > 0:33:51while Katie Train-A-Lot and Lineout Laura are neck-and-neck in second.
0:33:51 > 0:33:55All of that pushes Chaz Van Damme into fourth place.
0:33:55 > 0:33:58Web Designer-ist Andy programs his way into seventh.
0:33:58 > 0:34:01And Menswear Danny just sneaks into the 12th place.
0:34:03 > 0:34:06So, the field has narrowed from 20 to 12,
0:34:06 > 0:34:09which means each contestant now has a one in 12 chance of winning.
0:34:09 > 0:34:12Sounds pretty good, until you realise that that means
0:34:12 > 0:34:16every contestant is 91.67% likely to fail.
0:34:16 > 0:34:20Look at the bright side, at least they're not 100% likely to fail,
0:34:20 > 0:34:22which is the case with this lot.
0:34:22 > 0:34:24Cos they already have. Failed.
0:34:24 > 0:34:27MUSIC: "Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House
0:35:07 > 0:35:10This is Double Cross, and here's how it works.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13Everyone lines up over there.
0:35:13 > 0:35:15The aim is to head on a green gangway to the middle, then
0:35:15 > 0:35:17reach the other side via the red gangway.
0:35:17 > 0:35:21Add to that a counter-rotating red cross at around about knee height,
0:35:21 > 0:35:23and it gets pretty tricky.
0:35:26 > 0:35:30The game only stops when six contestants have made it across...
0:35:30 > 0:35:33or it gets dark. Whichever comes first.
0:35:33 > 0:35:36Time to meet today's Double-Crossers.
0:35:36 > 0:35:39Fastest in the Qualifier, it's the Artist Formerly Known as...
0:35:39 > 0:35:41Lakan.
0:35:41 > 0:35:43First in the Qualifier! Everyone, follow me!
0:35:43 > 0:35:48Then there's Katie Train-A-Lot, Lineout Laura and Chaz Van Damme.
0:35:48 > 0:35:51Fifth in the Qualifier, it's Dunkin' Claire.
0:35:51 > 0:35:53What, now?
0:35:53 > 0:35:56Followed by High-Kia and Web Designer-ist Andy.
0:35:56 > 0:36:00Then it's the winning neighbour, Grant from Next Door.
0:36:00 > 0:36:03Be afraid, all you young 'uns, cos I'm still here!
0:36:03 > 0:36:07Safe Steve, Mouthwash Muhammed...
0:36:07 > 0:36:08and Lord Ellie.
0:36:08 > 0:36:11- Hello?- Hello?
0:36:11 > 0:36:13And last but by no means least, Menswear Danny.
0:36:13 > 0:36:16Don't hate me, hate the game!
0:36:16 > 0:36:19BLOWS RASPBERRY
0:36:19 > 0:36:22Ah, it's such a beautiful day.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25I'm in such a good mood,
0:36:25 > 0:36:29and I'll be even happier when we wipe out another six contestants.
0:36:29 > 0:36:33I love Double Cross! Are you all ready?
0:36:33 > 0:36:38- ALL: Ye-e-e-es! - Happy days! Three, two, one!
0:36:38 > 0:36:40- KLAXON BLARES - And off goes the klaxon.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43Remember, they can only get to the centre
0:36:43 > 0:36:45via one of those three green arms.
0:36:45 > 0:36:47Who'll lead the charge?
0:36:49 > 0:36:52It's Claire. No, she's off! It's back to the start for her.
0:36:52 > 0:36:55Now, here's Andy. No! No!
0:36:55 > 0:36:59I may have said it before, but this really is all about the timing.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04And there's Kia picking her moment, and Steve...picking his.
0:37:04 > 0:37:07Oh, no, wrong moment! Just wrong!
0:37:09 > 0:37:12Off goes Laura! Ooh, no! Hoo-hoo!
0:37:12 > 0:37:15Ooh, didn't look nice...
0:37:15 > 0:37:16for Laura.
0:37:18 > 0:37:22So, who'll be next? Right, here's Ellie.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24And she's in!
0:37:25 > 0:37:27Danny enjoying himself there.
0:37:28 > 0:37:30Katie, straight in!
0:37:30 > 0:37:32Look, he's loving it!
0:37:36 > 0:37:38There's Lakan. Oh, bad luck-an!
0:37:38 > 0:37:41Kia now.
0:37:41 > 0:37:42Ooh-ooh-ooh!
0:37:43 > 0:37:47Wow, Kia first to get to the middle!
0:37:47 > 0:37:48What a jump too! Brilliant.
0:37:48 > 0:37:53Now, Kia can only use the red arm to get to the other side.
0:37:55 > 0:38:00Oh! Oh, no! No, what...hold on, what did she do there?!
0:38:02 > 0:38:06Lord Ellie again. Trying it...no!
0:38:06 > 0:38:08Ellie in the water again.
0:38:08 > 0:38:12Don't know what you're laughing at, Danny. You're still dry! Ohhhhh!
0:38:15 > 0:38:17There's Claire.
0:38:17 > 0:38:21And she's made the middle! All in the timing. Perfect.
0:38:23 > 0:38:25Now here's Laura.
0:38:25 > 0:38:27Oh! No, she's off!
0:38:27 > 0:38:31Here comes that red arm! Come on! Yes...no!
0:38:31 > 0:38:32Oh, so close!
0:38:34 > 0:38:37Claire got the furthest so far, but it's a long swim back now.
0:38:39 > 0:38:41Here's Charlene.
0:38:42 > 0:38:44And she's made it to the middle.
0:38:50 > 0:38:53Here we go, oh! No, no.
0:38:53 > 0:38:55Well, she won't be joined by Muhammed any time soon.
0:38:55 > 0:38:57Here comes that red arm. Come on, Charlene!
0:38:57 > 0:38:59Go, go...yes!
0:39:03 > 0:39:05And Charlene is the first through to the next round.
0:39:07 > 0:39:10And she looks happy, which she should be. Five places left.
0:39:10 > 0:39:14Laura and Steve waiting. Here's Laura. And, yes!
0:39:14 > 0:39:18She made that look easy. Which it clearly isn't!
0:39:20 > 0:39:23Steve joined by Grant.
0:39:26 > 0:39:28Go, Steve. Go, go, go.
0:39:28 > 0:39:29Oh, no!
0:39:34 > 0:39:37- Danny, you're wasting space up there!- He is, indeed.
0:39:37 > 0:39:39You've got to give it a go!
0:39:39 > 0:39:41He must, yes. Come on, Grant, now.
0:39:43 > 0:39:47Oh, ooh-ooh, come on! No, no. He's off.
0:39:47 > 0:39:52Grant from Next Door must head back to the start now.
0:39:52 > 0:39:55Here's Claire. Joining Andy in the middle,
0:39:55 > 0:39:57but Andy's off! Oh, no!
0:39:57 > 0:39:58Come on, then, Claire.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00Pick your moment.
0:40:01 > 0:40:04Only the red gangway. Yes. Timed to perfection.
0:40:04 > 0:40:07Claire is into the next round.
0:40:11 > 0:40:12Kia's turn now.
0:40:14 > 0:40:18Come on, come on. Oh, no.
0:40:18 > 0:40:20Hats off to Kia, though. She's not giving up.
0:40:20 > 0:40:22That was so close.
0:40:25 > 0:40:28Here's Grant. Come on, Grant.
0:40:29 > 0:40:33Grant From Next Door stays in the competition.
0:40:34 > 0:40:37I knew he had it in his tartan shorts.
0:40:37 > 0:40:41I don't want to know what's in his tartan shorts. Katie's turn now.
0:40:41 > 0:40:43Just two places left in the next round.
0:40:44 > 0:40:46Yep, Katie is through.
0:40:46 > 0:40:49Just one place remains in Terror Go Round.
0:40:49 > 0:40:54Will it go to Andy, Kia, Ellie, Lakan,
0:40:54 > 0:40:55Muhammed, Steve or Danny?
0:40:57 > 0:41:00Although you do need to move your feet for that to happen.
0:41:00 > 0:41:02Oh, there's Steve. Come on.
0:41:02 > 0:41:04And Kia, getting desperate now.
0:41:06 > 0:41:07Here comes the red arm.
0:41:09 > 0:41:11I can't look.
0:41:11 > 0:41:13There's one place left, guys!
0:41:16 > 0:41:20Here comes the red arm again. Here it comes...
0:41:20 > 0:41:23It's Kia who makes the move.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25Wow! Amazing stuff!
0:41:25 > 0:41:28Kia is through and I'm out of breath.
0:41:29 > 0:41:31So, with that incredible effort
0:41:31 > 0:41:33Kia joins Charlene, Claire, Grant, Laura
0:41:33 > 0:41:35and Katie in the next round.
0:41:35 > 0:41:38Now, to fulfil an official BBC remit,
0:41:38 > 0:41:41I've had to let the cameraman's son Alan do some work experience
0:41:41 > 0:41:42on the show.
0:41:42 > 0:41:44He's written some lines for me.
0:41:44 > 0:41:47So whoever's got the official BBC remit form,
0:41:47 > 0:41:49tick off the work experience box. OK, here goes.
0:41:49 > 0:41:50CLEARS THROAT
0:41:50 > 0:41:53That was the bit with the obstacle in.
0:41:53 > 0:41:56This is the bit where the sad people say goodbye.
0:41:56 > 0:41:59Actually, he's quite good. Very efficient with words.
0:41:59 > 0:42:00I'm thinking Hemingway.
0:42:05 > 0:42:07I tried as much as I could. Give it all I got.
0:42:08 > 0:42:10So close, so close.
0:42:10 > 0:42:15I think the trainers were not right for me for this course.
0:42:15 > 0:42:17I kept slipping.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22I beat everyone by 30 seconds in the Qualifier.
0:42:22 > 0:42:23I don't know what happened to me here.
0:42:23 > 0:42:27My girlfriend's going to be disappointed in me. Sorry.
0:42:27 > 0:42:30I wanted to do it but the legs wouldn't stand still.
0:42:30 > 0:42:35If you're going to hit hard, I might as well just keep dry.
0:42:35 > 0:42:36I'm a little bit disappointed
0:42:36 > 0:42:39that I'm the only girl that didn't get through.
0:42:39 > 0:42:42However, but I gave it a good shot. That's all I'm going to say.
0:42:43 > 0:42:47How can I be disappointed when there's five
0:42:47 > 0:42:50really fit, competitive girls there in that final, and an old Scotsman?
0:42:50 > 0:42:52I want to know what he's got in his porridge.
0:42:52 > 0:42:53Quite frankly, I want some.
0:42:53 > 0:42:57The Flying Scotsman flies on, and I'm ruined.
0:42:59 > 0:43:02Them girls are nimble, you know. Light weighted.
0:43:02 > 0:43:05It looks like you're going to get an all-girl final this year.
0:43:15 > 0:43:19This week the Terror Go Round has been transformed into a car wash.
0:43:19 > 0:43:21Sounds like nice, clean fun.
0:43:21 > 0:43:23It's not.
0:43:23 > 0:43:25A crack team of Argentinian scientists
0:43:25 > 0:43:28have made a startling new discovery.
0:43:28 > 0:43:31They've invented a new element. Water.
0:43:31 > 0:43:34With extra slip over.
0:43:34 > 0:43:36Same rules apply. Three heats.
0:43:36 > 0:43:39Last person standing in each is through to the Wipeout Zone.
0:43:39 > 0:43:44The three losers are heading for a tearful mention in a few minutes.
0:43:46 > 0:43:49I always feel sorry for the contestants on Terror Go Round,
0:43:49 > 0:43:53stumbling around, crashing into each other, three guaranteed losers.
0:43:53 > 0:43:56Hang on, that sounds brilliant!
0:43:56 > 0:43:59- Are you ready?- Yes.
0:43:59 > 0:44:03Bring on the terror. Three, two, one...
0:44:03 > 0:44:05KLAXON
0:44:05 > 0:44:08A reminder of today's Terror Go Round.
0:44:08 > 0:44:11Dunkin' Claire, the basketball player
0:44:11 > 0:44:14who was slammed and dunked on the Qualifier.
0:44:14 > 0:44:16It trashed me.
0:44:16 > 0:44:20Chaz Van Damme, the kickboxing Shapeshifter bat.
0:44:22 > 0:44:24Nothing can wipe me out!
0:44:26 > 0:44:28Lineout Laura, the rugby player
0:44:28 > 0:44:30who seems to enjoy getting hurt.
0:44:34 > 0:44:37Quick feet, nimble, agile.
0:44:37 > 0:44:42High-Kia, the pole vaulter who's really good at jumping about.
0:44:44 > 0:44:46I just look stupid!
0:44:46 > 0:44:49He's called Grant. He's from next door.
0:44:49 > 0:44:52It's Grant From Next Door.
0:44:52 > 0:44:54I'm over 50 but I'm still right nifty!
0:44:56 > 0:44:58And finally, Katie Train-A-Lot,
0:44:58 > 0:45:01the fitness fanatic with muscles that scare me.
0:45:01 > 0:45:03I work out seven times a week.
0:45:03 > 0:45:06Yeah, scared. So, the rules are simple.
0:45:06 > 0:45:10Last person standing in each of the three heats makes the Wipeout Zone.
0:45:10 > 0:45:12And here we go. Oh, hang on, Grant's over.
0:45:12 > 0:45:15He's down and the game hasn't started. No, he's back up.
0:45:15 > 0:45:16KLAXON
0:45:16 > 0:45:20And there goes the klaxon. And here come the killer sponges.
0:45:20 > 0:45:23Silly!
0:45:24 > 0:45:28Oh, no, the sponges have worked. That's two out.
0:45:28 > 0:45:31Good recovery from the others, though.
0:45:32 > 0:45:35This is just very silly.
0:45:36 > 0:45:40Oh, Grant's down... and out.
0:45:40 > 0:45:43It's just Charlene, Claire and Katie left standing.
0:45:46 > 0:45:47Those sponges are nasty.
0:45:47 > 0:45:51I mean, they sound nice - sponge - but they're not.
0:45:51 > 0:45:52Katie's down.
0:45:52 > 0:45:56So is Charlene and Claire... Oh, and out!
0:45:58 > 0:46:02Oh, this is complicated now. Who was the last one standing?
0:46:02 > 0:46:05Well, there you go. It was Dunkin' Claire.
0:46:05 > 0:46:08So she's bagged the first spot in the Wipeout Zone.
0:46:08 > 0:46:12The other five are heading for another encounter with the Car Wash.
0:46:14 > 0:46:18So, off go the remaining five contestants for another Car Washing.
0:46:21 > 0:46:26Oh, no! Oh, what is happening? It's water with added slip.
0:46:26 > 0:46:27It's got all of them. They're all down.
0:46:27 > 0:46:30What's Prince Harry doing there?
0:46:30 > 0:46:31I didn't know... Oh, well.
0:46:31 > 0:46:33But who was last to fall?
0:46:33 > 0:46:35You see, it was Chaz Van Damme,
0:46:35 > 0:46:39so she joins Dunkin' Claire in the Wipeout Zone.
0:46:39 > 0:46:42So, Laura, Katie, Grant and Kia are back on the Car Wash
0:46:42 > 0:46:45with only one place left in the Wipeout Zone.
0:46:47 > 0:46:48And off they go.
0:46:49 > 0:46:51Careful, Grant.
0:46:51 > 0:46:53There's the klaxon.
0:46:53 > 0:46:57Oh, no, here comes the water with extra slip.
0:46:57 > 0:47:00Oh, it's a lot of slip in there, isn't it?
0:47:00 > 0:47:02They've done it again.
0:47:04 > 0:47:07I think maybe we are going to need
0:47:07 > 0:47:09those crack Argentinian scientists to design shoes
0:47:09 > 0:47:12that cancel out the effect of that water with extra slip.
0:47:12 > 0:47:15It's very slippery. Anyway, the last person standing was High-Kia.
0:47:15 > 0:47:19She joins Claire and Charlene in an all-female Wipeout Zone.
0:47:21 > 0:47:24So it is a sad goodbye to Katie Train-A-Lot,
0:47:24 > 0:47:28a mournful wave to Grant From Next Door,
0:47:28 > 0:47:29and a respectful nod to Lineout Laura.
0:47:30 > 0:47:33It's the end of the road for these three heroes.
0:47:33 > 0:47:36Alan's still here, doing work experience.
0:47:36 > 0:47:39His dad's gone home, though. I hope it wasn't anything I said.
0:47:39 > 0:47:42I think you'll agree that Alan makes a more than capable cameraman.
0:47:42 > 0:47:46So, now time for a reminder of the long and arduous journey
0:47:46 > 0:47:51that today's finalists have been through to get to the Wipeout Zone.
0:47:51 > 0:47:54Although the Terror Go Round was actually quite a short journey,
0:47:54 > 0:47:55so, time for a reminder
0:47:55 > 0:47:58of the medium-length but still pretty arduous journey
0:47:58 > 0:48:00today's finalists have been through.
0:48:00 > 0:48:02Alan, get your dad back.
0:48:02 > 0:48:04It's definitely very serious now.
0:48:04 > 0:48:07I'm going to give it all I've got for the final.
0:48:07 > 0:48:10I wouldn't have applied for this if I didn't think I could win.
0:48:14 > 0:48:17I think we're all quite evenly matched.
0:48:17 > 0:48:20I think we've all got quite a lot of skills that are going to help us through the final.
0:48:20 > 0:48:25Kia, did you see her on the Double Crosses skipping over everything?
0:48:25 > 0:48:27She's definitely, definitely the dark horse.
0:48:27 > 0:48:29She's so deep down competitive.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33She won't express it but you can just sense it from her.
0:48:36 > 0:48:40I would say I am probably the most fearless out of the three of us.
0:48:40 > 0:48:44Claire is competitive, like, she doesn't hide it.
0:48:44 > 0:48:46She's very boisterous.
0:48:48 > 0:48:49Very gutsy,
0:48:49 > 0:48:53she's definitely one to watch. I think she's in it to win it.
0:48:53 > 0:48:55Now that I'm through to the final,
0:48:55 > 0:48:59well, it means everything. I can't get this far and not win.
0:49:00 > 0:49:03She's a kickboxer and so she's definitely hard.
0:49:03 > 0:49:06My biggest rival is going to be Charlene
0:49:06 > 0:49:09because she managed to get through the Shape Shifter.
0:49:09 > 0:49:11She was the first to cross the Double Cross,
0:49:11 > 0:49:14so she is quick, she's nimble and she's got good balance.
0:49:14 > 0:49:17I'm definitely going to give it all I've got for the final.
0:49:18 > 0:49:19I can beat them.
0:49:21 > 0:49:24The Pocket Rocket is going to win this Total Wipeout.
0:49:24 > 0:49:26Well, that's the aim.
0:49:32 > 0:49:37Today's Wipeout Zone starts with a trip down the Killer Surf,
0:49:37 > 0:49:39then it is an all-out dash up the Rapid Climb,
0:49:39 > 0:49:42avoiding the rarely used but really nasty Tidal Wave.
0:49:42 > 0:49:45Then it's the seesaw of truth to the Crazy Sweeper,
0:49:45 > 0:49:48and the final push over the Turntables to the finish podium.
0:49:48 > 0:49:53Fastest wins 10,000 sterling. And a novelty cup.
0:49:53 > 0:49:57What an incredible day it's been and the drama isn't over yet.
0:49:57 > 0:50:00It's an all-female Wipeout Zone...
0:50:02 > 0:50:04..and Kia is the first to brave it.
0:50:06 > 0:50:09High-Kia is about to test the full extent of her bounciness.
0:50:09 > 0:50:13Can I bite my nails now, please?
0:50:13 > 0:50:16You'd be better off holding on tight to that ring.
0:50:24 > 0:50:27And so, this all-female battle begins.
0:50:29 > 0:50:30Come on, Kia.
0:50:30 > 0:50:33Kia racing for the Rapid Climb.
0:50:33 > 0:50:38Once up, it's only a matter of time before the Tidal Wave is unleashed.
0:50:41 > 0:50:42This is a slow start.
0:50:48 > 0:50:49Come on, Kia, that's it.
0:50:49 > 0:50:54She's up now and the ten second countdown begins.
0:50:54 > 0:50:57Picking up speed on the Rapid Climb which is a good idea
0:50:57 > 0:50:59and she is safe.
0:51:00 > 0:51:01Seesaw of Truth now.
0:51:01 > 0:51:04Kia spent her qualifier falling off things.
0:51:04 > 0:51:06She cannot afford to do that here.
0:51:08 > 0:51:10At the balancing point.
0:51:12 > 0:51:15Carefully rocks it over.
0:51:18 > 0:51:19She has cleared it.
0:51:19 > 0:51:22The Crazy Sweeper next.
0:51:22 > 0:51:25This is all about timing, speed and, of course, balance.
0:51:29 > 0:51:31Come on, come on.
0:51:31 > 0:51:32Oh...
0:51:32 > 0:51:34Too close for comfort.
0:51:34 > 0:51:35Oh!
0:51:37 > 0:51:38Got to get up.
0:51:40 > 0:51:43Come on. Very hesitant, but she's off now. Looking good.
0:51:45 > 0:51:47And she's made it.
0:51:49 > 0:51:50Onto the first turntable.
0:51:52 > 0:51:55But the second one, now, is always tricky.
0:51:56 > 0:51:58Oh, she's across, just.
0:52:00 > 0:52:04Really needs to time this jump well.
0:52:04 > 0:52:06This could be a good solid time. Perfect.
0:52:06 > 0:52:09Just one more leap and this ordeal will be over.
0:52:12 > 0:52:13Come on.
0:52:13 > 0:52:15Yes, it's over.
0:52:15 > 0:52:18Kia completes the course in one minute 55,
0:52:18 > 0:52:21a great time and a tough benchmark to beat.
0:52:22 > 0:52:25Well done, my lovely girl. How are you feeling?
0:52:26 > 0:52:27Quite tired, yeah. It was good.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30Kia, you've come on in leaps and bounds today.
0:52:30 > 0:52:33Quite literally, you've been leaping and bounding all day
0:52:33 > 0:52:37and you have just leapt your way to an extremely respectable time
0:52:37 > 0:52:39of one minute 55 seconds.
0:52:39 > 0:52:41- Oh, brilliant, that's good. - Isn't that brilliant?
0:52:41 > 0:52:44Yeah, that's brilliant, thank you.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46You know what this means? Yours is the time to beat
0:52:46 > 0:52:50and it's a brilliant time to beat but Charlene's up next. Let's watch.
0:52:50 > 0:52:54Will Chaz Van Damme beat Kia's time into second?
0:52:54 > 0:52:57This is for you, Mum.
0:53:09 > 0:53:10And so, the contest begins.
0:53:10 > 0:53:14One minute 55 is the time to beat and, more importantly,
0:53:14 > 0:53:18Charlene just needs to not fall off anything.
0:53:18 > 0:53:21One slip and she could be out of the game.
0:53:21 > 0:53:22No pressure, then.
0:53:25 > 0:53:27Up onto the Rapid Climb
0:53:27 > 0:53:30and the countdown starts.
0:53:30 > 0:53:32Good progress.
0:53:35 > 0:53:38And the Tidal Wave is kept at bay.
0:53:38 > 0:53:39Now to test her balance.
0:53:47 > 0:53:49Cautious start.
0:53:49 > 0:53:51Tips the Seesaw.
0:53:51 > 0:53:52Oh!
0:53:52 > 0:53:54Losing balance.
0:53:54 > 0:53:56But she's OK.
0:53:57 > 0:53:59This, I can't bear.
0:53:59 > 0:54:02Charlene still in with a chance of taking that trophy.
0:54:02 > 0:54:05Kia did the Crazy Sweeper in two hesitant runs.
0:54:05 > 0:54:07Can Charlene improve on that? Here we go.
0:54:07 > 0:54:09Oh, she's down.
0:54:09 > 0:54:12She's up again. Come on, Charlene.
0:54:13 > 0:54:15Oh-ho, she's done it.
0:54:15 > 0:54:16Turntables now.
0:54:16 > 0:54:18Readies herself, jumps.
0:54:18 > 0:54:19She's on, safe.
0:54:19 > 0:54:22It's so close, I can't bear it. Go, Charlene!
0:54:22 > 0:54:26These times are incredibly close, Charlene could win this.
0:54:26 > 0:54:27Oh, no!
0:54:27 > 0:54:30That mistake has just cost her the trophy.
0:54:30 > 0:54:32I don't think there's any doubting that.
0:54:32 > 0:54:34It was a good jump but she just couldn't
0:54:34 > 0:54:35get a grip on that Turntable.
0:54:35 > 0:54:37Charlene doesn't know Kia's time yet
0:54:37 > 0:54:40so all she can do is keep going.
0:54:42 > 0:54:44Last jump.
0:54:46 > 0:54:48And Charlene finishes the course in two minutes one second
0:54:48 > 0:54:52which is an excellent time, just not good enough, today, to beat Kia.
0:54:52 > 0:54:56Charlene, my darling. Come on out. Are you all right?
0:54:56 > 0:54:58- You're still smiling, at least. - Yeah.
0:54:58 > 0:55:02- It seemed to go OK.- It did. - Apart for the last fall.
0:55:02 > 0:55:05It did, it went very well, Charlene.
0:55:05 > 0:55:07I've got to tell you,
0:55:07 > 0:55:11you have been bashing the boys out of the competition all day.
0:55:11 > 0:55:14Now, you just have to bash the two girls out of the competition.
0:55:14 > 0:55:16Yeah.
0:55:16 > 0:55:20I'm afraid you've been bashed, Charlene, because Kia was faster.
0:55:20 > 0:55:22Hard luck, my darling.
0:55:24 > 0:55:26Go join the others.
0:55:26 > 0:55:28CHEERING
0:55:28 > 0:55:31OK. Yours is now the time to beat, Kia.
0:55:31 > 0:55:32Excellent.
0:55:32 > 0:55:34Claire's up next, let's watch.
0:55:34 > 0:55:37Well, PE teacher Claire has remembered her kit
0:55:37 > 0:55:39so no need to borrow shorts from lost property.
0:55:39 > 0:55:42This is for all the Wildcats.
0:55:45 > 0:55:47Oh, she's going backwards.
0:55:47 > 0:55:50Not seen that happen before.
0:55:50 > 0:55:52And headfirst.
0:55:55 > 0:55:58A bit disoriented, I suspect. She heads for the Rapid Climb.
0:55:58 > 0:56:01Kia's is still the time to beat and it is a tough one.
0:56:01 > 0:56:03Will Claire break it?
0:56:05 > 0:56:08Well, not if she keeps going at this rate.
0:56:08 > 0:56:09She needs to put some speed on.
0:56:14 > 0:56:16Where's Claire?
0:56:16 > 0:56:18There's Claire.
0:56:20 > 0:56:22And, as she gets to her feet, the countdown starts.
0:56:22 > 0:56:25She does seem to have found some energy.
0:56:27 > 0:56:30And that was a rapid climb.
0:56:30 > 0:56:32So, how will she play the Seesaw?
0:56:33 > 0:56:35This is still up for grabs.
0:56:41 > 0:56:43She's certainly playing it safe.
0:56:45 > 0:56:47Maybe a bit too safe, though.
0:56:49 > 0:56:51Claire can still lift the trophy,
0:56:51 > 0:56:53she just needs to speed up now.
0:56:54 > 0:56:57I think it'll be decided here, in the Crazy Sweeper.
0:57:00 > 0:57:02She's just going for it but...
0:57:02 > 0:57:05Oh! Oh, no. That's unbelievable.
0:57:05 > 0:57:09She just stared at it like a rabbit in headlights.
0:57:09 > 0:57:13Lost her footing, her balance and her chance of winning that trophy.
0:57:16 > 0:57:18So, up she comes now, onto the Turntable.
0:57:18 > 0:57:21I'm sure her confidence has been knocked as violently as she was.
0:57:23 > 0:57:25She's onto the Turntable and...
0:57:25 > 0:57:27Oh, no. In again.
0:57:34 > 0:57:37Kia must have realised, by now, that she's got this one in the bag.
0:57:37 > 0:57:39Which is unfortunate for Claire.
0:57:39 > 0:57:41Climbing the last of the Turntables,
0:57:41 > 0:57:44one giant leap to go.
0:57:44 > 0:57:48And Claire presses the button in the three minutes five seconds.
0:57:48 > 0:57:50Not the fastest time, but at least she finished.
0:57:50 > 0:57:54Claire, come on out, my lovely. Oh, my goodness, are you OK?
0:57:54 > 0:57:56Yeah, I'm good.
0:57:56 > 0:57:59You have been fearless and throwing yourself at this course all day
0:57:59 > 0:58:01and actually thrown yourself off of this course tonight
0:58:01 > 0:58:05but the big question is, has it been enough?
0:58:05 > 0:58:08And the Total Wipeout Champion tonight...
0:58:09 > 0:58:10..is Kia!
0:58:10 > 0:58:12CHEERING
0:58:12 > 0:58:14Congratulations, my darling.
0:58:14 > 0:58:16Hard luck, Claire.
0:58:17 > 0:58:19So, congratulations to Kia,
0:58:19 > 0:58:23a business analyst from Kent who is today's Total Wipeout Champion.
0:58:23 > 0:58:25And more good news. Work experience boy Alan
0:58:25 > 0:58:29has been moved off the camera and on to autocue, so all...
0:58:29 > 0:58:31that...
0:58:31 > 0:58:36Whoa! Um, Kia, trophy, Amanda, next week, bye.
0:58:36 > 0:58:37Alan, you're going places.
0:58:37 > 0:58:39Home. Now. Go.
0:58:41 > 0:58:45Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd