0:00:02 > 0:00:04A long time ago, before the dinosaurs and stuff,
0:00:04 > 0:00:07the Earth was ruled by an even deadlier species.
0:00:08 > 0:00:12Today, using science, genetics and Argentinian craftsmanship,
0:00:12 > 0:00:17these monsters have been brought back to life.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19Welcome to Total Wipeout.
0:00:19 > 0:00:23Let's just hope they don't escape and eat the contestants.
0:00:24 > 0:00:29Tonight, 20 Brits, including a postman, a maths teacher
0:00:29 > 0:00:30and an opera singer,
0:00:30 > 0:00:35will attempt to tackle these world-renowned plastic predators.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Let the games begin!
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Hello and welcome to Total Wipeout,
0:00:40 > 0:00:43which tonight is filmed in front of a live studio audience.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46CHEERING
0:00:46 > 0:00:48All the usual thrills and spills...
0:00:48 > 0:00:49AUDIENCE: Oooh!
0:00:49 > 0:00:52..but this time it's all in front of a live studio audience!
0:00:52 > 0:00:55- CHEERING - Oh, this is great!
0:00:55 > 0:00:59Hey, what do you call a coach horse that can play bass guitar?
0:00:59 > 0:01:02Pull-My-Cart-Ney!
0:01:02 > 0:01:04TOTAL SILENCE
0:01:06 > 0:01:10OK, let's see what the competitors are up against today.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14The Qualifier - Tough, with a capital T.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17Double Cross - Tough, with a capital T underlined.
0:01:17 > 0:01:22Terror-Go-Round - Tough, with a capital T underlined and in bold.
0:01:22 > 0:01:26And the Wipeout Zone - Tough, all in capitals, double underlined,
0:01:26 > 0:01:30in bold, and with a few exclamation marks at the end.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35Tonight's show promises to be a real rollercoaster.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39- CHEERING - Not yet.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41- Tonight's show... - CHEERING
0:01:41 > 0:01:45Right, forget it, we're not doing the whole audience thing now.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47AUDIENCE: Awwww!
0:01:47 > 0:01:49STAMPEDING FEET
0:01:52 > 0:01:56- DOOR SLAMS - Let's join Amanda at the top of the course
0:01:56 > 0:01:58with today's first contestant.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Pull-My-Cart-Ney. It's genius.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Special delivery for the Qualifier.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10I'm joined now by my next contestant.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13This is Michael from St Helens and he's a postman.
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Michael, how are you doing?
0:02:14 > 0:02:19I am aiming to become a legend on the mail-delivering circuit of St Helens.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22And I'm not just talking St Helens, Amanda.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24This could propel me to the big-time.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26I'm talking the outskirts, as well.
0:02:26 > 0:02:31I'm talking Haydock, Billinge, Rainford... Thatto Heath.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37So, 40-year-old, slightly terrifying postie Michael
0:02:37 > 0:02:39is the first to tackle today's Qualifier.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43He talks the talk, but will he deliver on the course?
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Well, he's quickly across the pontoons,
0:02:45 > 0:02:48which means he's about to come to the first stop on his route.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52A brand new addition to the Total Wipeout course,
0:02:52 > 0:02:53the Wall Street Smash
0:02:53 > 0:02:55It's three obstacles in one.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Contestants must keep one eye on the sweeping arm,
0:02:58 > 0:03:00the other eye on keeping their balance.
0:03:00 > 0:03:04And then the other eye on the giant pieces of wall that swing out
0:03:04 > 0:03:07and smash you in the face.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Here we go.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Oh! Special delivery!
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Oh, watch your head, Michael!
0:03:15 > 0:03:18That Wall Street Smash doesn't like unexpected mail,
0:03:18 > 0:03:21so unexpected MALE - spelt differently, Michael,
0:03:21 > 0:03:25is stamped and sent straight to his destination - muddy water.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28A painful lesson to learn. He won't be doing that again in a hurry.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32Here he goes. Watch out for the... Oh, be careful of the... And the...
0:03:32 > 0:03:33And then there's the...
0:03:33 > 0:03:34Oh, no, he's in.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36HE LAUGHS
0:03:36 > 0:03:37This is tricky, isn't it?
0:03:37 > 0:03:41Next, it punches, it punches, it squirts paint
0:03:41 > 0:03:42and it punches some more.
0:03:45 > 0:03:46Here we go.
0:03:47 > 0:03:51Well, he's ducked the paint, but not the fists.
0:03:51 > 0:03:56Avoided damaging his package, but it's not really an express delivery so far.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59Now for the part of his route that he's dreading.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04Four big red spheres that do not know the meaning of the words
0:04:04 > 0:04:07"Do not bend", the Big Red Balls.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Oh, er, yeah, that works.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Ball one...
0:04:14 > 0:04:19- and he's in. Second-class fall. - That was rubbish!
0:04:19 > 0:04:23Maybe he'll have a bit more. luck on the final obstacle -
0:04:23 > 0:04:25it's the Shapeshifter.
0:04:26 > 0:04:27Up the ladder...
0:04:29 > 0:04:33..down the slide. And which window shall we go through today?
0:04:33 > 0:04:35The square window?
0:04:36 > 0:04:39The triangle window?
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Or the round window?
0:04:43 > 0:04:47Yeah, that's right, probably none of them.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49So the postman has nearly reached his final destination.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52All he has to do now is post himself through one of the holes.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Should be easy for Michael.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Here we go. Oh, no. No.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59A postman missing the hole.
0:04:59 > 0:05:04I'm wondering if anyone in St Helens has ever received any post at all!
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Second-class Michael posted a time of 2:36.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Will that send him into the next round?
0:05:13 > 0:05:16I wouldn't go as far as to say it was a special delivery.
0:05:16 > 0:05:20Certainly first class, possibly going on for second class.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Next to take on the Qualifier is 22-year-old Amita,
0:05:23 > 0:05:26who describes herself simply as "awesome".
0:05:29 > 0:05:32What kind of things do you do in your life to make you feel
0:05:32 > 0:05:33you're awesome?
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Multiple black belt in karate,
0:05:35 > 0:05:38mango-juggling, professional air-guitar...
0:05:38 > 0:05:41I can do the waltz, I think. Yes, I can do the waltz.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43I can...
0:05:43 > 0:05:46shoot a bow and arrow, I can ride a motorbike,
0:05:46 > 0:05:49I can rally-drive a car, I can play snap.
0:05:49 > 0:05:54I'm pretty good at snap, I've got a good long-jump,
0:05:54 > 0:05:56I can play Scrabble...
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- HE SNORES GENTLY - ..I can play football,
0:05:59 > 0:06:01I can ski, balance on a ball quite well,
0:06:01 > 0:06:05I can scuba-dive, I can snowboard, I can skydive...
0:06:05 > 0:06:09- Amita, are you telling porky pies? - No. I forgot to say pole-dance.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11OK, that's enough of that.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15Let's see how useful her long and honest list of genuine skills
0:06:15 > 0:06:16will be on the Qualifier.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Oh! Is that on purpose?
0:06:20 > 0:06:22SHE LAUGHS
0:06:22 > 0:06:26The Wall Street Smash, a true test of Amita's awesomeness.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29So here she goes. She's on, this is it.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- Oh, ow! - SHE SCREAMS
0:06:32 > 0:06:36Yeah, wall smash to the head, sweeper hit to the body.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40It's kind of more average than awesome. That's just what happens.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Awesome. Yeah.
0:06:45 > 0:06:50Double awesome. But Amita is still standing strong, give her that.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Oooh!
0:06:52 > 0:06:55The Sucker Punch must be losing its touch.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57Oh, now there it is, there's the touch.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Not really awesome. Adequate.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02Yes, adequate.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Amita is currently unemployed, but with all the awesome skills
0:07:06 > 0:07:10she's learned today I'm sure a new career is just around the corner.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12As a crash-test dummy maybe.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18But awesome Amita finishes the Qualifier in 3:23
0:07:18 > 0:07:22and can now add mechanical rubber assault courses
0:07:22 > 0:07:24to her long list of made-up skills.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29Meet happily-married Philip and Eve. Awww, that's sweet.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30Oh.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36Philip, you may be my husband and an engineer,
0:07:36 > 0:07:39but this one's going to suffer this course
0:07:39 > 0:07:41and punish you for drinking all that beer!
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Oh-ho-ho!
0:07:43 > 0:07:46I didn't understand most of that, but it sounded so cross.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50So it's 30-year-old Eve that kicks off this matrimonial face-off.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52A lot at stake here.
0:07:52 > 0:07:53Oh, an early slip. She's gone.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55She's back.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Now, Eve's small stature is an advantage here,
0:07:57 > 0:08:00easily ducking under those smash doors.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04Yes! Oh, no. You can't duck the sweeper, Eve.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08Oh, hang on. Oh, and that's a big hit to the little Brazilian.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10I bet she can hear wedding bells right now.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12SHE LAUGHS
0:08:12 > 0:08:15Eve, you may be my wife, but I'm gonna rip you to shreds.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Aw, and they say romance is dead.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Philip on the Suckerpunch.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Not only representing England, he's representing husbands
0:08:24 > 0:08:26and headband wearers everywhere.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Oh! Right in the nuptials!
0:08:30 > 0:08:31Oh, Philip!
0:08:31 > 0:08:35Big Red Balls for Eve. Good chance to show hubby how it's done.
0:08:37 > 0:08:38There's the Demotivator.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42And she's in. It worked.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Will Philip make the same mistake?
0:08:45 > 0:08:50No, he charges! One, two, three...
0:08:50 > 0:08:51No, not this time.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55What was that hop, skip and a jump-a-loony?
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Their times are very close,
0:09:05 > 0:09:08so the war of the wedded will be settled on the Shapeshifter.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12Bragging rights and a year of washing up at stake here.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Eve goes for it. She's in. She's out.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Which means it's all down to this one last slide.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Never has so much rested on what can only be described as, well...
0:09:22 > 0:09:25playground equipment.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Philip's lost his headband, but will he keep his pride?
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Nope, there it goes. Into the water.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36And this was virtually identical to Eve's effort.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39It's like they were meant to be together. It's beautiful, that.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Yeah, spiritually linked.
0:09:45 > 0:09:50Mrs Eve finishes in 2:36, but it's Mr Philip who wears the trousers
0:09:50 > 0:09:53and the smug grin, finishing in just under two minutes.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Whooo!
0:09:57 > 0:10:01# D-I-V-O-R-C-E... #
0:10:04 > 0:10:09- FLAMENCO MUSIC - This is air traffic controller, Zoe Spain.
0:10:09 > 0:10:14Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Zoe Spain.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17She's not from Spain, she's from Egham.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20What a cool, big, important job you have
0:10:20 > 0:10:24to clear the skies of danger and to guide jumbo jets in to land.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28Actually, it's quite a small little airport in Surrey
0:10:28 > 0:10:31called Fairoaks. It's not that big.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37Zoe Spain, who's not from Spain, takes off down the runway and...
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Oh, eject! Eject! Too late.
0:10:39 > 0:10:40Bit of a crash landing.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43She's up against two giant propellers.
0:10:43 > 0:10:48Her aviation skills might just come in handy here. Good start.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Oh, dear, no. She's in.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53In case of an emergency, Zoe is pointing out the nearest exit,
0:10:53 > 0:10:57to your right, down the steps and into the muddy water.
0:10:57 > 0:11:02Now it's the Suckerpunch. Will it put the pain into Zoe's Spain?
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Oh, well, so far so good.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Zoe taking every punch firmly on the chin.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11- Good girl! - Very brave. Or very stupid.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15- It's brave, cos she's made it! - BELL DINGS
0:11:15 > 0:11:19Zoe's face must be black and blue.
0:11:19 > 0:11:23And yellow and a bit orange, is that, by the looks of it? Yeah.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Not sure she can take much more of this punishment.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28So she's at the top of the slide.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29She slides down. Oh!
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Ohh!
0:11:32 > 0:11:33This is...
0:11:33 > 0:11:36No. And now she's... Oh, no.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38- Oh, dear.- Hold on! Hang tight!
0:11:43 > 0:11:46# I'm leavin' on a jet plane... #
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Yeah, but no pain, no gain.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50And with all that pain Zoe has gained a good time.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53And now needs to gain some medical attention.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Next it's 25-year-old petrol-head from Kent.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01TYRES SCREECH
0:12:01 > 0:12:04So, Nathan, you clearly feel the need for speed,
0:12:04 > 0:12:08but how speedy are you going to be on those Big Red Balls?
0:12:08 > 0:12:10SHE MIMICS SPEEDING CAR Faster than that.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12HE MIMICS EVEN FASTER CAR As fast as that.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Everyone's heard of Total Wipeout,
0:12:14 > 0:12:17but this is going to be a total whitewash.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Um... That's a bad thing, isn't it?
0:12:19 > 0:12:23OK. Right, softly, softly.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Catchy.... Oh. Well, nothing.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31But he's up quickly and puts his foot on the pedal. Accelerating...
0:12:31 > 0:12:35Thankfully there's no speed cameras here. Good manoeuvres from Nathan.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Oh, he's cleared... No. One slip and he was in.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43It looked like he'd regained control,
0:12:43 > 0:12:45but he swerves into the hard shoulder.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Now he's got a wet shoulder, as well. On to the Sucker Punch.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Oh, yeah. That was harsh.
0:12:54 > 0:13:00Oh, that was a proper whack, forcing Nathan into a quick, muddy pit stop.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04I say quick...
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Right, he's got the green light for the Big Red Balls.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Go, go, go.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Yes. No. Yes?
0:13:13 > 0:13:15No. False start.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Not so Formula One now.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20But Nitro Nathan lives up to his speedy boast,
0:13:20 > 0:13:23finishing in 2 minutes 16. Not bad.
0:13:24 > 0:13:29So six runners in and it's Mr Philip that's taken the early lead
0:13:29 > 0:13:30with Nitro Nathan hot on his heels.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Second-class Michael shares third with Mrs Eve
0:13:33 > 0:13:35and Zoe Not From Spain is in fifth.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39Awesome Amita is not living up to her name sat in sixth.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44For years I've been pitching Total Wipeout: The Movie,
0:13:44 > 0:13:47but due to lack of funding, lack of interest,
0:13:47 > 0:13:50me not having got around to writing the script,
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Angelina Jolie not returning any of my calls
0:13:52 > 0:13:54and the whole restraining order thing,
0:13:54 > 0:13:56it's remained a mere pipe dream.
0:13:56 > 0:14:01Until today, for now I have the budget -
0:14:01 > 0:14:06well, ish - and a leading actor, 28-year-old Jonathan from Cumbria.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09So here goes. I've always wanted to do this.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Action!
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Oh, it doesn't work.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Action!
0:14:21 > 0:14:23- No, really. It's just not working... - LOUDHAILER SCREECHES
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Argh!
0:14:25 > 0:14:28That stings. It's broken.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49DRAMATIC VOICE: He was an actor from Cumbria...
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Feel the river, feel the ride!
0:14:52 > 0:14:55Get on up, it Total Wipeout time!
0:14:56 > 0:15:01..she was a TV presenter who was watching his every move.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03And laughing.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07One man must face his fears, defy all the odds,
0:15:07 > 0:15:12achieve the impossible and other really dramatic things.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17That was useless.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20One dream, one chance, one...
0:15:20 > 0:15:23NORMAL VOICE: ..embarrassing slip on the slide.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29DRAMATIC VOICE: If you only see one
0:15:29 > 0:15:33Argentinian obstacle course-based movie this year,
0:15:33 > 0:15:35make sure it's this one.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37At a supermarket near you.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41Because it wasn't good enough to get on the big screen.
0:15:41 > 0:15:45Well, it needs a bit of work, but Lights, Camera, Jonathan
0:15:45 > 0:15:47finishes in just under three minutes.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51Next to run, and hoping for the luck of the Irish -
0:15:51 > 0:15:54because he's Irish - is 26-year-old Kevin who lives in London.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00Now, listen - are you a fighting fit Irishman, Kevin?
0:16:00 > 0:16:03- Is that what you are? Have you got the Celtic spirit in you?- Er...
0:16:06 > 0:16:09..not really. I'm trying to do a little bit of preparation for this.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Didn't go all that well.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17I went for a jog about three weeks ago and did a few push-ups
0:16:17 > 0:16:19and nearly passed out after it,
0:16:19 > 0:16:22so other than that, there hasn't been a lot of preparation.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Kevin to the Wall Street Smash. Here we go.
0:16:30 > 0:16:35Oh, ducks and, again, the Smash Doors don't scare Kevin.
0:16:35 > 0:16:36Whoo!
0:16:36 > 0:16:39It's a lot harder to duck 22 mechanical fists, though,
0:16:39 > 0:16:42and that's what he faces next.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46See? Didn't duck. But he's still on.
0:16:47 > 0:16:51He's nearly across the Sucker Punch, as well. This is amazing.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52Oh!
0:16:52 > 0:16:57- Look at those feet of flames. Whoo! - This is an impressive run.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00He's actually good at this stuff. Here we go...
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Oh, until that happened.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06The luck of the Irish run out on the second ball, exactly then.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08It's all gone. Used up.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12Finished. But he still manages to check his way into the top spot.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16Quite good, Kev - I'll call him Quite Good Kev, in fact.
0:17:17 > 0:17:22That's the most fun I've had with me clothes on in ages.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28This is 38-year-old Masters student Georgia. She has a problem.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30With cats.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33You've been getting some unwanted attention, Georgia,
0:17:33 > 0:17:36from some cats at home. What's that all about?
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Oh, my God. I have loads of cats.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42They just come, perch on the back of my fence and look in at me.
0:17:42 > 0:17:46There's one that wears a denim jacket. Can you imagine?
0:17:46 > 0:17:51- A black cat in a denim jacket. - Are you serious?- I'm dead serious.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56OK. Right, well, can't afford to pussyfoot around
0:17:56 > 0:17:57on the Wall Street Smash.
0:17:59 > 0:18:03No, you see? Because that's what happens when you do.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07- Ooh, I wonder how she's "feline" now?- He-hey! She beat me to that.
0:18:07 > 0:18:08- I had that... - PAPER SCRUNCHES
0:18:08 > 0:18:09Forget it.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Well, there's no time to "paws" for thought
0:18:12 > 0:18:14as Georgia approaches the Big Red Balls.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18It's mine! Yeah, over you go. Oh, that was going to shock her.
0:18:18 > 0:18:19Oh, dear.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Yep, I think she's used up another one of them nine lives.
0:18:22 > 0:18:26Stop it! Georgia finishes the course in five minutes and 40,
0:18:26 > 0:18:30and that puts her in a less than purr-fect last place.
0:18:30 > 0:18:34Mine. Time now for the Total Wipeout lonely hearts segment.
0:18:34 > 0:18:38You know, like I do every week. About this time.
0:18:38 > 0:18:43Today's letter comes from a Mr WS Smash from Buenos Aires
0:18:43 > 0:18:47and it reads, "Dear Richard. I am unlucky in love.
0:18:47 > 0:18:51"When anyone gets close to me I end up pushing them away
0:18:51 > 0:18:53"or hurting them. I like to surprise people,
0:18:53 > 0:18:56"sweep them off their feet,
0:18:56 > 0:18:59"but when I open up, all they want to do is run away.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03"Yours lonely-ly, the Wall Street Smash."
0:19:03 > 0:19:06Well, you're in luck.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11It's Total Wipeout Dating, but which lucky girl is going to win
0:19:11 > 0:19:15a date with our mechanical macho-man tonight?
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Will it be contestant number one?
0:19:17 > 0:19:21She's a five-foot tall student who likes shopping and extreme sports,
0:19:21 > 0:19:25but is terrified of pigeons. Meet fun-size Tash from Swindon.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Will she fall in love?
0:19:31 > 0:19:34No. No, just in the water. You saw that coming.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38I know. So did I. Wall Street smash has given her the brush off - ha-ha!
0:19:38 > 0:19:41That's not a great first impression.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46Contestant number two is a head chef and cage fighter, obviously,
0:19:46 > 0:19:48which makes her one tough cookie.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Meet Kim from Liverpool.
0:19:51 > 0:19:57So, will the cage-fighting chef hit it off with the Wall Street Smash?
0:19:57 > 0:19:59No. No, it was just Kim that was hit off.
0:20:04 > 0:20:09Yeah, well - they say love hurts. And that did.
0:20:09 > 0:20:14Can the last contestant win the heart of the ten-foot foam bachelor?
0:20:14 > 0:20:19She's a dental practice manager that says she's mad as a box of frogs.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23Number three's always the wacky one. Meet Debbie from Newport.
0:20:23 > 0:20:28Will she fall head over heels? Well, I'd say... Yeah.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31Pretty obviously, yeah. The wall's being all bashful.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36I think true love has been found. Debbie is dizzy in love.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Maybe somebody should check that's not concussion.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Could this be a love that lasts forever?
0:20:43 > 0:20:44Oh, no - she's up and doing a runner.
0:20:44 > 0:20:48Looks like the Wall Street Smash is going home alone tonight.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58So let's see how their efforts have affected the current leaderboard.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Quite Good Kev has now jigged into the top spot,
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Fun-size Tash jumps into sixth
0:21:02 > 0:21:05and Tough Cookie Kim is only seconds behind in seventh.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07In ninth, it's Lights, Camera, Jonathan,
0:21:07 > 0:21:10whilst at the foot of the table is Box-Of-Frogs Debbie
0:21:10 > 0:21:12and Cats Love Georgia in 11th and 12th.
0:21:12 > 0:21:16Time for a clash of culture.
0:21:16 > 0:21:21Now, I'm a big fan of rock music like Foo Fighters, Led Zep, AC/DC,
0:21:21 > 0:21:24but I'm also a big fan of opera music.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Like...
0:21:26 > 0:21:30that World Cup one that Pavarotti did. Just One Cornetto.
0:21:30 > 0:21:34Well, next it's a rocker versus an opera-ra-rist.
0:21:34 > 0:21:35I'm going to really enjoy this.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38In fact, I'm going to put my glasses on to enjoy it
0:21:38 > 0:21:41and then pour myself a crystal glass of vintage champagne.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Doing it for the opera people, it's 40-year-old Jason.
0:21:48 > 0:21:52# Truly, no other they can compare. #
0:21:52 > 0:21:55And in the rock corner its 53-year-old Jean.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Rock-and-roll, baby, yeah!
0:21:57 > 0:21:59# I shall win... #
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Rock-and-roll, baby, yeah!
0:22:01 > 0:22:05# Of that, have no doubt. #
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Rock-and-roll, baby, yeah!
0:22:12 > 0:22:13Yeah, rock on!
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Oh, dear. No, she's been rocked off.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22Classic operatic warm-up for Jason.
0:22:22 > 0:22:23- HE BREAKS WIND - Oops.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28And he's off!
0:22:28 > 0:22:31Oh, dear. Right in the solar plexus.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Jean on the Sucker Punch. Let's see how tough this rocker really is.
0:22:40 > 0:22:41That's it, Jean.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Yeah. Oh. Ooh.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46Wow, the sucker punch actually seemed to help her out, there.
0:22:46 > 0:22:50# You've got a friend... #
0:22:50 > 0:22:53A helping hand. Must be a fellow rocker.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55- Or not.- Almost!
0:23:01 > 0:23:05Now, One-Tenor Jason taking on the four balls. Oh.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10That's kind of an up-and-overture.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Hope he didn't hurt his "leg or toe".
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Get it? Legato? It's an opera joke. Never mind.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22So Jean's time not looking too rock-and-roll at the moment.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Can't afford to hang around. Here we go.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Oh, goodness!
0:23:28 > 0:23:31Didn't even touch the sides. Look at that!
0:23:31 > 0:23:34If that was the aim, she'd have won. It wasn't.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37And now Jason, on to the Shape Shifter.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39- HE GRUNTS LOUDLY - This isn't very operatic to me.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44SHE SINGS OPERATICALLY
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Down he goes...
0:23:48 > 0:23:52Oh, Jason. Rubbish.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56Yeah. Rock chick Jean completes the course in just under five minutes.
0:23:56 > 0:24:00- Rock 'n' roll, baby! - Well, not really, no.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04But it's One-Tenor Jason, that has something to sing about
0:24:04 > 0:24:06finishing in 2 minutes 30.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11The fat lady has sung. It's over.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13DISTORTED GUITAR
0:24:13 > 0:24:15UKULELE STRUMS
0:24:15 > 0:24:17# Goodbye. #
0:24:17 > 0:24:19EARTH RUMBLES
0:24:20 > 0:24:22CAR ALARMS WAIL
0:24:22 > 0:24:24GLASS SHATTERS
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Next it's mum of two, Kate from Wetherby.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Her three and six-year-old sons, Stanley and Max,
0:24:32 > 0:24:34made her apply for the show.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37I'm sure she'll do them proud. OK, that's not a good start.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41Don't underestimate this Yorkshire pudding!
0:24:41 > 0:24:45Mm, my favourite type of pudding. Yorkshire. OK.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Oh, a very elegant walk down the ramp.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Oh, well, that got her to the bottom quicker, I suppose.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53OK, she's up.
0:24:53 > 0:24:58Oh, she's lost a shoe, but the rest of her is still intact. So far.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Here we go. Oh, head smash!
0:25:01 > 0:25:03- Watch your head!- Too late.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Say that before it happens, not after.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12OK, on to the Sucker Punch now.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Or not on to the Sucker Punch.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16Hey, you haven't started yet!
0:25:16 > 0:25:20That's what we call a welcome punch. Hi!
0:25:20 > 0:25:22That's what we call just not very good.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27Right, Silly Mummy Kate finishes in just 2 minutes 23
0:25:27 > 0:25:29and is the quickest lady so far.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Your boys can officially be proud.
0:25:31 > 0:25:36Stanley, I've done it for you. Whoo!
0:25:36 > 0:25:39Now doing it for the dads is 39-year-old Tony,
0:25:39 > 0:25:40who has eight children.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43# I'm the king of eight and I'm here to state
0:25:43 > 0:25:45# That everything here has to total 8. #
0:25:46 > 0:25:48You've got eight children?
0:25:48 > 0:25:51Eight children from 13 down to 10 days.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54- Can you name them for me?- I can.
0:25:54 > 0:26:00Aisha Amira, Adnan, Adil, Aman, Amir, Aliya, Aleena.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02He's not in my good books, you know.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Eight children all beginning with the letter A
0:26:05 > 0:26:07and not one of them called Amanda.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10Well, the Octo-poppa is off,
0:26:10 > 0:26:13Tony hoping to prove that dad has still got it.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16And he gets it all right - right in the face.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Now he's on to the sweeper and now he's in.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21That was falling with style.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27Talking of style, check out those amazing dad shorts.
0:26:29 > 0:26:33Oh, straight into the mud - so are his shorts.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39If he can handle eight children,
0:26:39 > 0:26:42I'm guessing four balls shouldn't be too hard.
0:26:42 > 0:26:43# Everything here has to total eight. #
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Here we go.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49Oh, no.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Well, Octo-poppa Tony finishes in 3 minutes 16.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Daddy Cool, but daddy not quick.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57# Everything here has to total eight. #
0:26:59 > 0:27:01The next two competitors are desperate to lift
0:27:01 > 0:27:03the Total Wipeout trophy,
0:27:03 > 0:27:05but even more desperate to keep their hair dry.
0:27:06 > 0:27:1018-year-old Ron is a lifeguard who can do one-armed press-ups.
0:27:10 > 0:27:11He has big hair.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16Just how fit are you, Ron?
0:27:16 > 0:27:18Um, well, do you want to see?
0:27:19 > 0:27:22Uh...OK.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27Urgh! His stomach's all weird and lumpy!
0:27:27 > 0:27:32A-doo Ron, Ron, Ron, ya do Ron, Ron! Whoa-ho-ho!
0:27:32 > 0:27:35He's up against 26-year-old Tomasz
0:27:35 > 0:27:39who's a casino croupier from Poland via Nottingham.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41He has spiky hair.
0:27:41 > 0:27:45Now, what kind of thing have you been doing in preparation for that?
0:27:45 > 0:27:47I just tried to...
0:27:47 > 0:27:49I was trying to look good and as long as I look good
0:27:49 > 0:27:51and I'm comfortable with what I'm wearing
0:27:51 > 0:27:53then it should be OK, I think.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59Ron's first to go. The question is how long will that hair stay dry?
0:27:59 > 0:28:02Oh. Hoo-hoo!
0:28:02 > 0:28:03His hair is safe. It's dry so far.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06Yeah, this is quick and dry.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09He jumps, ducks and - oh, look at that!
0:28:09 > 0:28:11That's how it's done.
0:28:11 > 0:28:14Now, Tomasz. Will it be hair today, gone tomorrow?
0:28:14 > 0:28:20Well, he ducks the first and, again, he's across with hair intact, too.
0:28:20 > 0:28:23Maybe this is the answer. Ron's still dry,
0:28:23 > 0:28:25but judging by today's Big Ball standards,
0:28:25 > 0:28:27his big hair could be in big trouble here.
0:28:27 > 0:28:29Oh. Oh. Oh!
0:28:29 > 0:28:32He's on to the fourth ball! You're joking.
0:28:32 > 0:28:34No, he's made it! Wow!
0:28:34 > 0:28:38A superb crossing from Ron.
0:28:38 > 0:28:39Maybe this is the answer -
0:28:39 > 0:28:42desperation to keep your hair dry and, well, he does.
0:28:43 > 0:28:47Can Tomasz get across without a hair wash, too?
0:28:47 > 0:28:49Here we go.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52Oh, no. No. The hair has taken a beating. Oh, he looks normal.
0:28:56 > 0:29:00His hair's been all flattened, but his time is still looking good.
0:29:00 > 0:29:02Can he make it across the Shape Shifter?
0:29:02 > 0:29:04He's going for the Triangle...
0:29:04 > 0:29:06In and out.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09Get that man some straighteners.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11His spirits are up.
0:29:11 > 0:29:13Unfortunately, his hair obviously isn't.
0:29:13 > 0:29:16But Tomasz The Tank Top is the quickest qualifier so far.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18- I done it!- One minute 40.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22Will Ron's hair fit through the Shape Shifter?
0:29:22 > 0:29:25It's through...and he's holding on.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29Is he going to make it all the way around?
0:29:29 > 0:29:30I am genuinely amazed.
0:29:33 > 0:29:34He has.
0:29:34 > 0:29:37- Here's his chance... - AMANDA SQUEALS
0:29:37 > 0:29:40He's done it! Across the balls.
0:29:40 > 0:29:42First to beat the Shape Shifter
0:29:42 > 0:29:45and with a time of only one minute 13 seconds, he's beaten Tomasz
0:29:45 > 0:29:48and he's now top of the leaderboard, too.
0:29:48 > 0:29:51All that and a completely dry hairdo.
0:29:51 > 0:29:53I'm genuinely staggered.
0:29:53 > 0:29:59Six-pack, plus an athlete, equals success in Total Wipeout.
0:29:59 > 0:30:01Never mind, Tomasz.
0:30:19 > 0:30:2218 contestants down, two still to go, and this is Emma,
0:30:22 > 0:30:26a 26-year-old forensic psychologist who has a score to settle.
0:30:26 > 0:30:28Rarrgh!
0:30:28 > 0:30:31Now, is there anything you can draw on from the world
0:30:31 > 0:30:36of forensic psychology that you can use to your advantage today?
0:30:36 > 0:30:39My thesis is actually on revenge, so those Big Red Balls
0:30:39 > 0:30:43better watch out cos I won't get mad, I'll just get even.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45I've no idea why Emma wants revenge.
0:30:45 > 0:30:48The qualifier hasn't done anything wrong, has it?
0:30:49 > 0:30:51OK, it has now.
0:30:51 > 0:30:52Right in the face.
0:30:52 > 0:30:56So will Emma get even on the big red balls?
0:30:56 > 0:30:59One, two, wet.
0:31:00 > 0:31:02Nothing forensic about that.
0:31:07 > 0:31:11She's got even... more wet than before.
0:31:12 > 0:31:15I think the Qualifier may have won this one, Emma.
0:31:15 > 0:31:19Emma completes the course in just over two minutes.
0:31:21 > 0:31:25From one PhD student to... um...Alex.
0:31:25 > 0:31:27Yeah!
0:31:27 > 0:31:30I'm joined now at the top of the course by a very excitable
0:31:30 > 0:31:34young man who is determined to put his village on the map.
0:31:34 > 0:31:37This is Alex and he's a trainee maths teacher, I think.
0:31:37 > 0:31:40- How are you doing?- Hello. I'm very excited.
0:31:40 > 0:31:45I'm going to win this course for my village. Farrington Gurney.
0:31:45 > 0:31:48Will this be the most dramatic thing Farrington Gurney has ever seen?
0:31:48 > 0:31:50Definitely top ten.
0:31:50 > 0:31:55But we had village pantomime a few weekends ago and I was in it as well.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58- Who did you play? - I played the village idiot.
0:31:58 > 0:32:02Yeah, I think is village should be on the map and it's not
0:32:02 > 0:32:04because I want to go there.
0:32:04 > 0:32:07But Alex is ploughing on after that slip and oh, no, he's down again.
0:32:07 > 0:32:11But he's still going. Avoiding the Sweeper Arm.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13And avoiding the Smash Door.
0:32:13 > 0:32:16Alex got straight out of bed and came in his pyjamas this morning.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18Alex approaching the balls.
0:32:18 > 0:32:22Those mud-drenched pyjamas could be weighing him down.
0:32:22 > 0:32:27That was amazing. He flew across those balls. He's still on.
0:32:27 > 0:32:29Just one more jump. He's done it!
0:32:29 > 0:32:32He's certainly put his village on the map now
0:32:32 > 0:32:35and for all the very best of reasons.
0:32:35 > 0:32:37With that amazing ball crossing,
0:32:37 > 0:32:41Alex finishes in a very impressive 1 minute 41.
0:32:41 > 0:32:43What a talented idiot!
0:32:43 > 0:32:46And look how well you did.
0:32:46 > 0:32:51- I did the Big Red Balls!- Yeah, you did.- First ever Big Red Ball person.
0:32:51 > 0:32:56- Farrington Gurney, you should be proud.- Thank you! Yes!
0:32:58 > 0:33:00Right, let's have a look at the final leaderboard.
0:33:00 > 0:33:04Hairdo Ron Ron his head, shoulders and hairdo above the rest.
0:33:04 > 0:33:08Tomasz the Tank Top is second and Alex the Village Idiot is in third.
0:33:08 > 0:33:12Don't Get Mad Get Emma is the best performing lady in sixth.
0:33:12 > 0:33:16Silly Mummy Kate is eighth. One Tenor Jason sings his way to ninth.
0:33:16 > 0:33:18Second Class Michael, Mrs Eve and Fun Size Tash
0:33:18 > 0:33:21are in 10th, 11th and 12.
0:33:21 > 0:33:26Unfortunately, the fat lady has sung for One Tenor Jason.
0:33:26 > 0:33:30He picked up an injury on the Qualifier and has withdrawn from the competition.
0:33:30 > 0:33:32That means Tough Cookie Kim
0:33:32 > 0:33:35pops up from 13th to take his place in Double Cross.
0:33:35 > 0:33:40So the qualifying qualifiers have qualified, which earns them the title of Qualifiers.
0:33:40 > 0:33:44This means we say goodbye to the non-qualifying qualifiers who didn't qualify,
0:33:44 > 0:33:47earning them the title of Losers.
0:33:47 > 0:33:51# There are places I'll remember
0:33:52 > 0:33:57# All my life, though some have changed
0:33:57 > 0:34:02# Some for ever, not for better
0:34:03 > 0:34:08# Some have gone and some remain. #
0:34:22 > 0:34:26Double Cross works like this.
0:34:26 > 0:34:29The 12 competitors line-up over there before making a run for it along any one
0:34:29 > 0:34:33of the green gangways into the middle. Once in the centre,
0:34:33 > 0:34:36they can only use the single red gangway to reach the finish.
0:34:36 > 0:34:40The fact that the gangway's rotating one direction whilst
0:34:40 > 0:34:46the big red cross rotates in the other, means this obstacle is categorised as really tricky.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48First six across qualify for the next round.
0:34:48 > 0:34:52So let's meet today's Double Crossers.
0:34:52 > 0:34:56Fastest in the qualifier and biggest in the hair, it's Hairdo Ron Ron.
0:34:56 > 0:35:00Alex, you've got your pyjamas on. You should have stayed in bed, man.
0:35:00 > 0:35:04OK. It's pole-vault time for Tomasz the Tank Top.
0:35:04 > 0:35:06This is P-P-P-Polish fire!
0:35:06 > 0:35:10Third fastest in the qualifier, it's Alex the Village Idiot.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12I may be wearing girls' pyjamas,
0:35:12 > 0:35:15but I'm still the most macho man here. Rarrgh!
0:35:15 > 0:35:18I think Alex is great. I like him.
0:35:18 > 0:35:22Then there's Quite Good Kev and Mr Philip.
0:35:22 > 0:35:23Eve, I beat you in the first round.
0:35:23 > 0:35:26Now I'm going to seek beat you in the second round.
0:35:26 > 0:35:28Don't Get Mad Get Emma is next.
0:35:28 > 0:35:32And hold onto your hats, it's Nitro Nathan.
0:35:32 > 0:35:34Then there's Silly Mummy Kate.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37Don't double crosses this Yorkshire pudding.
0:35:37 > 0:35:40I'd never double cross a Yorkshire pudding. And that's Mrs Eve.
0:35:40 > 0:35:43Philip, I'm going to beat you on this one.
0:35:43 > 0:35:47If not, I'm going to beat you when I get home.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50Then it's Second-Class Michael, Fun Size Tash
0:35:50 > 0:35:54and finally, Jason's replacement, Tough Cookie Kim.
0:35:54 > 0:35:55I can't shout.
0:35:57 > 0:36:01One motto in life is keep calm and life carry on.
0:36:01 > 0:36:04That's so not going to work here,
0:36:04 > 0:36:08so I suggest keep calm, carry on and run like crazy!
0:36:08 > 0:36:12- It's Double Cross. Are you already? - ALL: Yes.
0:36:12 > 0:36:14Three, two, one.
0:36:14 > 0:36:16KLAXON
0:36:17 > 0:36:21The game is afoot. But nobody is moving their feet.
0:36:21 > 0:36:27Tash gives it a go. Oh, just a test run, maybe. Emma.
0:36:27 > 0:36:33Oh, I think that was Kate. This thing is brutal.
0:36:33 > 0:36:36Hairdo Ron Ron, lasted as long as his nickname.
0:36:36 > 0:36:39Remember, they can only use the green gangways
0:36:39 > 0:36:43to get into the middle. Second-class Michael now and...Oh!
0:36:43 > 0:36:47Collecting the post right in the ankle.
0:36:51 > 0:36:54Right, it's Ron again. Oh!
0:36:55 > 0:37:00Yeah. Fastest qualifier having no luck so far.
0:37:03 > 0:37:05This is Mr Philip. Getting closer.
0:37:05 > 0:37:09Michael now...is into the centre.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11Finally.
0:37:11 > 0:37:14What's this? Tomasz the Tank Top has joined Michael in the middle.
0:37:14 > 0:37:17Nitro Nathan now.
0:37:17 > 0:37:20Oh! Very close.
0:37:20 > 0:37:22Quite Good Kev bolts for it. He's there as well.
0:37:22 > 0:37:26Things are getting overcrowded in the centre now.
0:37:26 > 0:37:29Remember they're all just waiting for that red gangway to come round.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32It's the only way off. Michael's got one foot on the red gangway,
0:37:32 > 0:37:35but then just sort of fell off.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38Kevin attempts the exit.
0:37:39 > 0:37:43Oh! That was close. Kevin almost made it across.
0:37:43 > 0:37:48But then there was a pirouette somersault flip and a fall.
0:37:48 > 0:37:54- I can't do it!- Yes, you can. There's no such thing as can't.- Possibly.
0:37:54 > 0:37:59Tomasz alone in the middle. Come on, people. Nathan heard me.
0:37:59 > 0:38:01Yes! He's on.
0:38:01 > 0:38:04He's off. He's on. He's still on.
0:38:04 > 0:38:08Mr Philip is back for more. The limbo. Oh!
0:38:08 > 0:38:12Mr Philip is trying everything, but where's Mrs Eve?
0:38:15 > 0:38:19Finally, Tomasz heads for the... water.
0:38:19 > 0:38:23Getting off Double Cross is definitely difficult.
0:38:23 > 0:38:27Michael now, third time lucky. Hurdles across.
0:38:27 > 0:38:30And misses the middle completely. And in goes Nathan.
0:38:32 > 0:38:36Into the middle. Surely he'll be able to do this.
0:38:37 > 0:38:43Don't Get Mad Get Emma wants to join in and she's there. Just.
0:38:44 > 0:38:48Kevin again now. And he's there. Michael too.
0:38:48 > 0:38:51This is good middle management or something.
0:38:51 > 0:38:53It's a Wipeout pile-up.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56Oh, yeah, they're all there waiting for the optimum gap
0:38:56 > 0:38:59betwixt red gangway and red cross.
0:38:59 > 0:39:02That's the time to run to the finish. Kim piles on too.
0:39:02 > 0:39:04Kevin sees his chance. Looking good.
0:39:04 > 0:39:07Quite Good Kev is the first to qualify for the next round.
0:39:15 > 0:39:19Oh, out of nowhere, Nathan speeds across to the finish line too.
0:39:19 > 0:39:22- And we have Nathan. - Nitro Nathan is through.
0:39:22 > 0:39:25Meanwhile, Tomasz has reached the centre
0:39:25 > 0:39:27and now Eve's chasing her husband.
0:39:27 > 0:39:31She's got the Sweeper Arm. But oh, no. She's hanging on.
0:39:31 > 0:39:36Eve's rapidly becoming untenable. And she's been dropped.
0:39:36 > 0:39:39But her husband is still up. Still in the middle.
0:39:41 > 0:39:46Tense now. Michael, second assault on the exit beam.
0:39:46 > 0:39:48Jumps and...not enough.
0:39:48 > 0:39:51Four places in the next round are still up for grabs.
0:39:51 > 0:39:56Who's got the legs to do it. Tomasz is making his move. Superb.
0:39:56 > 0:39:58What a finish. Three down, three to go.
0:40:02 > 0:40:06Usually it's around here that it all gets very fast and frantic.
0:40:06 > 0:40:11Tash into the middle. Hairdo Ron Ron... Can he make it?
0:40:11 > 0:40:13Yes! No!
0:40:13 > 0:40:17I feel for Ron, I really do. That was close. Oh!
0:40:20 > 0:40:22Kim sets off from the starting podium.
0:40:22 > 0:40:26Lovely skip and into the middle.
0:40:26 > 0:40:28But it's too crowded for Emma.
0:40:28 > 0:40:31She's off and leaps across the finish line.
0:40:31 > 0:40:34Actually, the next bit's the finish line, there.
0:40:34 > 0:40:38Emma is through to the next round. So two places remain.
0:40:38 > 0:40:43Will they go to Mike, Kim, Philip, Eve, Ron, Tash, Alex or Kate?
0:40:45 > 0:40:48Here comes Michael. Into the middle again.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53And...that's Mr Philip.
0:40:54 > 0:40:57Takes one to the legs but soldiers on to the middle,
0:40:57 > 0:40:59leaving his wife behind.
0:40:59 > 0:41:04Michael's got his eyes on the prize and just makes that jump.
0:41:04 > 0:41:07But Philip's on hot on his heels and like that, it's all over.
0:41:07 > 0:41:10Philip and Michael are through to the next round,
0:41:10 > 0:41:14joining Kevin, Emma, Tomasz, and Nathan, but not Philip's wife, Eve.
0:41:14 > 0:41:18And a huge upset for Ron, the fastest in the Qualifier, he's out.
0:41:18 > 0:41:20And his hair is wet. Oh.
0:41:20 > 0:41:23In years to come, that edition of Double Cross
0:41:23 > 0:41:26will claim its rightful place among the epic tales of yore,
0:41:26 > 0:41:30the Odyssey, Beowulf and my shaggy dog story about the ticket inspector
0:41:30 > 0:41:34who keeps throwing passengers through the train window.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36It's a belter.
0:41:36 > 0:41:39But for now, it's time to wave a solemn goodbye to the six
0:41:39 > 0:41:43unlucky souls who fell on the long march to victory.
0:41:44 > 0:41:47OK, so there's this ticket inspector, right.
0:41:47 > 0:41:50- He's walking along the train. - Comes to the first passenger...
0:41:52 > 0:41:58Double Cross is madness. I couldn't jump the Sweeper if I tried.
0:41:58 > 0:42:02So I literally had to be Flash Tash or no Tash.
0:42:02 > 0:42:06Nearly made it once, but yeah. That's the way the cookie crumbles.
0:42:06 > 0:42:08Pretty gutted.
0:42:09 > 0:42:12I was trying my hardest and I was just diving and going for it.
0:42:12 > 0:42:15It's the best I could do.
0:42:15 > 0:42:17It was a total disaster, wasn't it?
0:42:17 > 0:42:23I really, really wanted to beat the Philip because he always claims
0:42:23 > 0:42:26he's better than me, but I guess maybe it's true.
0:42:26 > 0:42:30Aye, aye, aye. It hurt.
0:42:30 > 0:42:32I wanted to get through.
0:42:32 > 0:42:35I wanted to do the next round, but these things happen.
0:42:35 > 0:42:37I can't do anything about it.
0:42:38 > 0:42:41What you see here is a broken man.
0:42:41 > 0:42:43I hope I haven't let down my village, my mum.
0:42:43 > 0:42:48But it was not a good idea wearing pyjamas on the Total Wipeout course.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01Today's Terror Go Round is brought to you by the good people
0:43:01 > 0:43:05at Total Wipeout Airways. We hope you've enjoyed your flight.
0:43:05 > 0:43:09Contestants must jog on the revolving turntable,
0:43:09 > 0:43:11avoiding the spinning fickle fingers of fate,
0:43:11 > 0:43:15as well as all the lost luggage items thrown by the Terror Twins.
0:43:15 > 0:43:17There are three heats and each time,
0:43:17 > 0:43:21the last person standing goes through to the Wipeout Zone.
0:43:21 > 0:43:24Do you know what I've just spotted? Yep, that's right.
0:43:24 > 0:43:27Too many contestants left in Total Wipeout.
0:43:27 > 0:43:30Just going to have to get rid of half of them.
0:43:30 > 0:43:32Terror Go Round should do it.
0:43:32 > 0:43:35- Are you all ready?- ALL: Yes. - They think.
0:43:35 > 0:43:41- Three, two, one.- Let's meet the Terrified Go Rounders.
0:43:41 > 0:43:46Can the postie with the mostie send himself through to the final?
0:43:46 > 0:43:47It's Second-Class Michael.
0:43:47 > 0:43:49With express delivery!
0:43:51 > 0:43:55Behind every great man, there's a great woman.
0:43:55 > 0:44:01Although, in this man's case, she is way behind on the losers' bench. It's Mr Philip.
0:44:01 > 0:44:02I'm going to rip you to shreds.
0:44:02 > 0:44:06He was first to jig over the Double Cross,
0:44:06 > 0:44:11but will the luck of the Irish carry him all the way to the final? It's Quite Good Kev.
0:44:11 > 0:44:15That's the most fun I've had with my clothes on in ages.
0:44:15 > 0:44:19She's given the guys a run for their money and hoping to take
0:44:19 > 0:44:22sweet revenge on the Terror Go Round, it's Don't Get Mad Get Emma.
0:44:22 > 0:44:24It's time for revenge.
0:44:25 > 0:44:30He's the fastest qualifier left and the fastest talker ever.
0:44:30 > 0:44:33I absolutely love it... hairstyle like that.
0:44:33 > 0:44:36No idea. But will his dreams of ten grand fall flat as his hair?
0:44:36 > 0:44:38It's Tomasz the Tank Top.
0:44:38 > 0:44:41And finally, he's all revved up for a few laps on the Terror Go Round,
0:44:41 > 0:44:46but will he be in pole position for the Wipeout Zone or just exhausted?
0:44:46 > 0:44:48It's Nitro Nathan.
0:44:48 > 0:44:51This is going to be a total whitewash.
0:44:51 > 0:44:54So the frantic fast-paced fun begins.
0:44:54 > 0:44:56Admittedly, not that frantic just yet.
0:44:56 > 0:45:00But the Terror Twins haven't started lobbing their luggage yet.
0:45:00 > 0:45:04Six remaining contestants, only three places in the final.
0:45:04 > 0:45:06There they go. Holdall to the head for Tomasz.
0:45:06 > 0:45:09That will ruin his hat hair.
0:45:12 > 0:45:15There goes the Teddy. My favourite. Ouch.
0:45:15 > 0:45:17They seem to be coping well,
0:45:17 > 0:45:20but those fingers of fate will soon come into play.
0:45:20 > 0:45:23Kevin using his feet to kick the box out of the way.
0:45:25 > 0:45:30Oh, and here they come. Oh, good step over.
0:45:30 > 0:45:34But Philip's gone in off the front. And there's trouble at the back.
0:45:34 > 0:45:37Oh! Tomasz is in.
0:45:37 > 0:45:40Lifted high off the turntable and dumped in the pool,
0:45:40 > 0:45:45he's out of the game, at least for this heat.
0:45:45 > 0:45:48So, four left standing. Here comes the finger.
0:45:48 > 0:45:52Emma gets flipped and dunked. Head first. Down to three now.
0:45:52 > 0:45:55Preparing to jump. Everyone's down.
0:45:55 > 0:45:59They must stay this side of the punchbags. Back on their feet.
0:45:59 > 0:46:03Michael's in trouble and Kevin's gone in.
0:46:03 > 0:46:07All of that means Nitro Nathan is the last one standing
0:46:07 > 0:46:11and the first one through to today's Wipeout Zone.
0:46:13 > 0:46:18Second heat, five competitors left and the Terror Twins have got
0:46:18 > 0:46:19a new trolley full of luggage.
0:46:19 > 0:46:23All locally sourced. About time for those fingers to start.
0:46:23 > 0:46:24This could be carnage.
0:46:26 > 0:46:30Emma is over, but there's trouble at the back. Philip's first in again.
0:46:30 > 0:46:32Synchronised bar work from Philip and Michael,
0:46:32 > 0:46:36but Philip just lost his balance. He's out of this heat.
0:46:36 > 0:46:39Second finger gets Michael that time.
0:46:39 > 0:46:43Just Emma, Kevin and Tomasz left standing.
0:46:44 > 0:46:48Oh, stumble from Kevin but he's back to his feet. Great recovery.
0:46:48 > 0:46:52Hi jump from Tomasz. This is strong work from everyone.
0:46:53 > 0:46:57Oh, Emma is down. Get up, get up.
0:46:57 > 0:46:59No, she is under the punchbags and out of this heat.
0:46:59 > 0:47:04So, Tomasz and Kevin, who is going through to the Wipeout Zone?
0:47:04 > 0:47:08Looks like Kevin is struggling a bit there. There's no let-up in this.
0:47:08 > 0:47:11He's down, he's gone. And Tomasz is through.
0:47:14 > 0:47:17Tomasz, you're through to the final. Tomasz, you need to get off.
0:47:17 > 0:47:21It's finished. You need to... Hello. There you go.
0:47:21 > 0:47:23Concentrating a bit too hard maybe.
0:47:28 > 0:47:30For Second-Class Michael, Mr Philip, Quite Good Kev,
0:47:30 > 0:47:32and Don't Get Mad Get Emma,
0:47:32 > 0:47:36this is the last chance to avoid elimination.
0:47:36 > 0:47:39Only one can go through to the Wipeout Zone.
0:47:39 > 0:47:41And they're off again. Terror Twins going hell for leather.
0:47:41 > 0:47:43Throwing all their toys out of the pram.
0:47:48 > 0:47:50Thinking about it, I'm not sure this is safe.
0:47:50 > 0:47:52Cos those bags are a real trip hazard.
0:47:52 > 0:47:55As are the Fingers Of Fate.
0:47:55 > 0:47:59Emma's on but she's hanging on in there. Kevin almost gone.
0:47:59 > 0:48:02No, he has gone. No, yes, no. No.
0:48:02 > 0:48:05Gone. Kevin is out of Total Wipeout.
0:48:05 > 0:48:08Emma's on her knees. Can she recover it?
0:48:08 > 0:48:10No, she's out of the game, too.
0:48:10 > 0:48:14It's now between Philip and Michael
0:48:14 > 0:48:16for that last remaining spot in the Wipeout Zone.
0:48:16 > 0:48:19That finger is fast.
0:48:19 > 0:48:21Philip has fallen and in the blink of an eye it's all over.
0:48:21 > 0:48:25Mr Philip is out of Total Wipeout.
0:48:27 > 0:48:30But a first-class performance from Second-Class Michael
0:48:30 > 0:48:34bags him the third and final spot in today's Wipeout Zone.
0:48:36 > 0:48:39Which means it's time to wave goodbye to three brave competitors.
0:48:39 > 0:48:42She came here for revenge but the Terror-Go-Round had the last laugh.
0:48:42 > 0:48:45Farewell, Don't Get Mad Get Emma.
0:48:45 > 0:48:50Quite good wasn't quite good enough for Quite Good Kev.
0:48:50 > 0:48:54And although he's leaving us, he can at least be with his wife once more.
0:48:54 > 0:48:57Over on the spectators' bench. Farewell, Mr Philip.
0:48:59 > 0:49:01So there are only moments to go now
0:49:01 > 0:49:05before today's thrilling Wipeout Zone begins.
0:49:05 > 0:49:08I'm not entirely sure how long a moment is,
0:49:08 > 0:49:12but it just so happens I've bought my Victorian momentometer.
0:49:12 > 0:49:15So, three moments...
0:49:15 > 0:49:17Two moments...
0:49:17 > 0:49:18One moments...
0:49:18 > 0:49:20Wipeout Zone!
0:49:20 > 0:49:22Oh...
0:49:23 > 0:49:28Yeah, momentometer is fast. It'll be coming up any time now, I imagine.
0:49:30 > 0:49:32Unless...
0:49:34 > 0:49:37I tell you what I'm going to bring to this final - one word. "Bottle."
0:49:37 > 0:49:41It's just so hard. Nothing in the world can prepare you for this.
0:49:41 > 0:49:42It's an unbelievable experience
0:49:42 > 0:49:45and I'm never going to forget it for the rest of my life.
0:49:46 > 0:49:49I never would expect I could actually get into the final
0:49:49 > 0:49:53and my family is going to be really proud of me, especially my mum.
0:49:53 > 0:49:56At the start I didn't really expect much of him
0:49:56 > 0:49:57but he done better than I thought.
0:49:57 > 0:50:02He's a fit lad but will he bottle it in the final? I think he will.
0:50:02 > 0:50:05People have thought I'm going to be rubbish because of what I was wearing
0:50:05 > 0:50:08and actually I'm here, it's just amazing.
0:50:09 > 0:50:13It nearly all went wrong, but I've found my rhythm
0:50:13 > 0:50:16and I knew I'd come good in the end. And it's game on.
0:50:16 > 0:50:17I think he's done really good.
0:50:17 > 0:50:20He doesn't give up and never stops.
0:50:20 > 0:50:22I'm not far off.
0:50:22 > 0:50:25I feel I've got the better of him for the next one.
0:50:25 > 0:50:27To win here tonight would mean everything to me.
0:50:27 > 0:50:30If you get the title of Total Wipeout champion,
0:50:30 > 0:50:31no-one's going to take that away.
0:50:32 > 0:50:36If I win tonight, I will feel so good about myself.
0:50:39 > 0:50:42At the age of 17 I was diagnosed with cancer.
0:50:42 > 0:50:46Um, from that experience, going through everything that I had to do,
0:50:46 > 0:50:51and then here we are, years later, I'm back, fighting fit.
0:50:51 > 0:50:53Now I'm ready to beat this.
0:50:57 > 0:51:00This is for all the old boys. Life begins at 40.
0:51:00 > 0:51:04This is my time. I am here, ready to win this.
0:51:04 > 0:51:06This is the biggest challenge of my life and I feel so excited.
0:51:11 > 0:51:12This is going to be fantastic.
0:51:18 > 0:51:22Three guys on the road to destiny and there's no speed limit.
0:51:22 > 0:51:24Who's in the fast lane
0:51:24 > 0:51:28and who's on the hard shoulder waiting for the tow truck?
0:51:28 > 0:51:31This is the Wipeout Zone and Michael is the first to brave it.
0:51:33 > 0:51:37Can Second-Class Michael deliver yet another first-class performance?
0:51:38 > 0:51:43- Cometh the hour, cometh the rasta postman.- Yeah, that old chestnut!
0:51:43 > 0:51:45- HOOTER - Right, here he goes.
0:51:54 > 0:51:57Special delivery!
0:51:57 > 0:51:59So Michael gets today's final started.
0:51:59 > 0:52:01He'll be setting the benchmark to beat.
0:52:03 > 0:52:05A swim to the Rapid Climb.
0:52:06 > 0:52:08And once he sets foot on the Rapid Climb
0:52:08 > 0:52:11he's got ten seconds to scale it.
0:52:11 > 0:52:14- Else a tidal wave will be released. - That's it.
0:52:14 > 0:52:17Over the Garden Gate, Michael. Whoo!
0:52:17 > 0:52:22He's up, so the countdown begins. Michael is doing well so far.
0:52:22 > 0:52:23Tidal wave defeated.
0:52:25 > 0:52:29Now, to the Seesaw of Truth. Michael is charging across it.
0:52:29 > 0:52:32Yes, keeps his balance.
0:52:32 > 0:52:34Will he be able to weave his way
0:52:34 > 0:52:36across the Crazy Sweeper? This claims a lot...
0:52:36 > 0:52:38- Oh, no, he's fallen!- Oh!
0:52:38 > 0:52:41Michael totally misjudged the Sweeper there,
0:52:41 > 0:52:43as so many have done, and he's paid for it.
0:52:43 > 0:52:47Vital seconds lost. The final straight now, though.
0:52:47 > 0:52:49The Turntables. Safely onto the first.
0:52:49 > 0:52:51Now to the Pillars of No Return.
0:52:51 > 0:52:53No! Oh...
0:52:53 > 0:52:56That leap was way too short.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58A second big slip.
0:53:00 > 0:53:02Michael now needs to summon a final burst of energy
0:53:02 > 0:53:04to make this one last jump.
0:53:07 > 0:53:11He's there. 2:41. Not bad. But definitely beatable.
0:53:16 > 0:53:19- Come on out, my lovely postman. - Hello there.
0:53:19 > 0:53:23How are you feeling after that performance?
0:53:23 > 0:53:26Er, I'm feeling 40 years old, actually.
0:53:26 > 0:53:29- It was hard work. - Listen, Michael, well done.
0:53:29 > 0:53:32You did that in two minutes and 41 seconds,
0:53:32 > 0:53:35- which isn't bad for someone who fell off a couple of times.- That's right.
0:53:35 > 0:53:39- Tomasz is up next, so let's watch.- OK.
0:53:39 > 0:53:42He's got a hedgehog under that helmet. Tomasz.
0:53:43 > 0:53:48- Everybody live your dream! Whoo! - I think this is more of a nightmare.
0:53:48 > 0:53:52- HOOTER - And here he goes.
0:53:58 > 0:54:00He doesn't yet know how Michael got on
0:54:00 > 0:54:03so he's going to be concentrating on going as fast as he can.
0:54:03 > 0:54:04Come on, Tomasz.
0:54:06 > 0:54:11Yeah, wonderful sportsmanship from Michael. Let's see if that lasts.
0:54:12 > 0:54:16Tomasz getting a refreshing blast of water in the face, but now he's up.
0:54:16 > 0:54:20And the tidal wave countdown has started.
0:54:20 > 0:54:22A little slip.
0:54:22 > 0:54:26And he's up again, and now bounding up with the aid of the banister.
0:54:28 > 0:54:31- Come along, the Pole. - It's more of a beam, actually.
0:54:31 > 0:54:33Tomasz taking things very cautiously here.
0:54:35 > 0:54:37Up to the balance point.
0:54:38 > 0:54:40Tips it slowly.
0:54:42 > 0:54:45He's cleared it. Taking no chances.
0:54:45 > 0:54:49Right, crunch time. This is where Michael's first slip-up came.
0:54:49 > 0:54:51Ducks.
0:54:51 > 0:54:54Tomasz looking very comfortable up there.
0:54:54 > 0:54:57He's cleared it. Just about.
0:54:57 > 0:55:00Yes, very slick. Just the Turntables to go now.
0:55:00 > 0:55:02He's onto the first. Lines up his next jump.
0:55:02 > 0:55:04- No!- Oh!- Same place as Michael.
0:55:05 > 0:55:07Tomasz slams into a Pillar Of No Return
0:55:07 > 0:55:10and there is no returning from that.
0:55:10 > 0:55:12Oh, wait, seems there is. Tomasz nearly there.
0:55:12 > 0:55:18This is quicker than Michael. 1:44. Faster by nearly a minute.
0:55:23 > 0:55:27Tomasz, you started out the Qualifier all bunny ears and bow ties,
0:55:27 > 0:55:30and now look at you. You're all serious
0:55:30 > 0:55:34and that serious performance...
0:55:34 > 0:55:38- has just made you beat Michael. Well done!- My God, thank you very much.
0:55:38 > 0:55:41Michael, hard luck, my man, go join the others.
0:55:41 > 0:55:44What can you do? My 40-year-old legs caught up with me in the end.
0:55:44 > 0:55:45See you later, Michael.
0:55:45 > 0:55:48Tomasz, Nathan is up next and yours is the time to beat.
0:55:48 > 0:55:50- Let's watch.- Can I have a kiss?
0:55:51 > 0:55:54Nitro Nathan prepares for his final lap.
0:55:54 > 0:55:57- Dig, Max, dig! - I don't know what that means.
0:55:57 > 0:56:00- HOOTER - But let's not question him now. He's busy.
0:56:01 > 0:56:04Time for the big finale.
0:56:06 > 0:56:09So now it's a straight battle between Nathan and Tomasz.
0:56:09 > 0:56:14And while Nathan doesn't know it, 1:44 is the time he must beat
0:56:14 > 0:56:16if he is to win today's competition.
0:56:16 > 0:56:18And the £10,000 prize.
0:56:20 > 0:56:22And remember, Tomasz did make one slip,
0:56:22 > 0:56:26- so an error-free run from Nathan will probably be enough.- Knees up!
0:56:28 > 0:56:32He is, and the clock starts ticking now,
0:56:32 > 0:56:35but Nitro Nathan accelerating up the Rapid Climb.
0:56:36 > 0:56:40Oh, that's no problem. Right, See-Saw time.
0:56:44 > 0:56:49It looks slippy but Nathan is looking well balanced. He's across.
0:56:49 > 0:56:50Just.
0:56:50 > 0:56:54Now the Crazy Sweeper. Nathan waits for his moment.
0:56:54 > 0:56:57Careful, Nathan.
0:56:57 > 0:56:59He's dashing.
0:57:00 > 0:57:03Ooh, some sensible ducking. But slow to get back up.
0:57:03 > 0:57:07- Get down!- Oh. Near miss there.
0:57:07 > 0:57:10Up a bit quicker this time, and yes.
0:57:10 > 0:57:11Right. Turntables.
0:57:11 > 0:57:13Tomasz and Michael both fell here.
0:57:13 > 0:57:16So a clean run now and the title is Nathan's.
0:57:18 > 0:57:20Yes! No!
0:57:20 > 0:57:22No!
0:57:22 > 0:57:26Oh, that's the third strike today for the Pillars Of No Return.
0:57:27 > 0:57:29Nathan clambers up the ladder,
0:57:29 > 0:57:33but he's going to need a miracle now to beat Tomasz's time.
0:57:33 > 0:57:34Get up, get up!
0:57:38 > 0:57:40Oh, every second!
0:57:42 > 0:57:47A great run! But ten seconds too slow today.
0:57:48 > 0:57:54Nathan, come on out, my lovely. What a fantastic run from you.
0:57:54 > 0:57:59It's so hard. The ladders are so hard.
0:57:59 > 0:58:02But I did my best, that's all I can do.
0:58:02 > 0:58:06Tomasz, I know this means an awful lot to you, too.
0:58:06 > 0:58:10Tomasz, you are the Total Wipeout champion tonight!
0:58:10 > 0:58:12Hard luck, Nathan.
0:58:12 > 0:58:14HE CHEERS
0:58:17 > 0:58:20So today's winner of the Total Wipeout trophy and £10,000
0:58:20 > 0:58:24is Tomasz Wiczneski, a 26-year-old croupier from Nottingham.
0:58:24 > 0:58:26And if you've enjoyed Tomasz's performances half as much as me,
0:58:26 > 0:58:29you'll want one of these -
0:58:29 > 0:58:30a Tomasz-tribute hairpiece,
0:58:30 > 0:58:33available nationwide in Hammond's Party Emporium.
0:58:33 > 0:58:37That's it from today's show. From Amanda and me, it's goodbye.
0:58:55 > 0:58:57Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd