:00:40. > :00:43.Hi, I'm Sam. Here's our check on the global news channels.
:00:43. > :00:48.Breaking news on CNN: Israel has killed the top Hamas military
:00:48. > :00:51.leader in an air strike in Gaza. A spokesman told BBC World News the
:00:51. > :00:54.assassination was part of a wider operation.
:00:54. > :00:58.Spain, Italy, Belgium, Greece and Al Jazeera covered strikes across
:00:58. > :01:01.Europe. France 24 said it was over spending cuts. TVE showed riot
:01:01. > :01:05.police in Madrid. Irish channels led on the death of
:01:05. > :01:09.a woman who was refused an abortion. Newsline said her husband was told
:01:09. > :01:13.it was because the foetus was alive and it's a Catholic country.
:01:13. > :01:17.The moment a prince met a hobbit on New Zealand's TV3. Charles was
:01:17. > :01:21.celebrating his 64th birthday. One News were at a party for sixty-four
:01:21. > :01:24.Kiwis born on the same date. And look who's gone Gangnam style.
:01:24. > :01:28.ABC called it red-hot Psy's stunning surprise. He turned up at
:01:28. > :01:30.Madonna's New York gig and they performed in front of twenty
:01:30. > :01:40.thousand fans. All the show biz in 45 minutes,
:01:40. > :01:40.
:01:40. > :02:26.Apology for the loss of subtitles for 45 seconds
:02:26. > :02:27.This programme contains some strong Unzipped is the show which asks a
:02:27. > :02:28.Unzipped is the show which asks a Unzipped is the show which asks a
:02:28. > :02:34.very important question to some of our favourite celebrities.
:02:34. > :02:41.normal? Outrageous, unacceptable, immoral and wrong. Joining us this
:02:41. > :02:47.week, Dagenham born Danny Dyer is an actor and father of two, most famous
:02:47. > :02:54.for roles in British gangster movies. He doesn't think texting is
:02:54. > :02:58.for proper geezers and only goes to bed when the alcohol runs out. Laura
:02:58. > :03:03.Whitmore lives in London with her boyfriend. According to her report
:03:03. > :03:08.she is useless at - will be answering some extremely
:03:08. > :03:14.personal questions. Have you ever had sex at work? And revealing some
:03:14. > :03:24.family secrets. I have caught boyfriend flirting with my Mom.
:03:24. > :03:36.
:03:36. > :03:39.This is Unzipped. APPLAUSE
:03:39. > :03:46.welcome to Unzipped. This is Russell welcome to Unzipped. This is Russell
:03:46. > :03:53.Kane! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. Come on then. And that's Greg James.
:03:53. > :03:56.CHEERING. And this is a show which isn't afraid to look celebrities in
:03:56. > :04:01.the eyes and demand answers hard-hitting questions. And all
:04:01. > :04:06.those questions come from Unzipped Report, which pull no, sir
:04:06. > :04:11.punches in examining Britain's behaviour. Let's meet tonight's
:04:11. > :04:18.victims, I mean special guests. Please welcome geezer and top fella
:04:18. > :04:22.Danny Dyer. And her off the telly, Laura Whitmore! APPLAUSE. Both of
:04:22. > :04:29.yous looking lovely. Welcome to the show, are you both braced and ready
:04:29. > :04:33.to face the Unzipped inquisition? Not really. Let's have it. Is
:04:33. > :04:39.there any unusual you want to admit to right now, get it out of the way?
:04:39. > :04:44.Go on, you get it out the way. I'm normal. I'm hoping I will come
:04:44. > :04:50.normal. We will discover any unusual habits. In a lift I like
:04:50. > :04:54.do unusual faces and then stop just as the door opens. Does it ever
:04:54. > :04:59.open just as you are doing it? Sometimes I don't get my trousers
:04:59. > :05:04.done up in time. LAUGHTER. anything? A weird little thing, I
:05:04. > :05:10.do love a bag of crisps, right. Most of us do, that's not weird.
:05:10. > :05:19.But I can eat ten bags on a spin, easy. I noticed I tend to do
:05:19. > :05:26.of origami with it, fold it into a nice bow. Imagine that: origami
:05:26. > :05:33.crisp packets with me, Danny Dyer. Love them or hate them, families,
:05:33. > :05:39.you are stuck with them. Our dysfunctional but very special
:05:40. > :05:43.family are here, please Unzipped Sample! APPLAUSE. And
:05:43. > :05:46.will have a little family for one of them later to know.
:05:46. > :05:51.Before all of that, feast your eyes on what else is heading your way
:05:51. > :05:55.tonight. Danny Dyer and Laura Whitmore, Unzipped. It's celebrity
:05:55. > :06:03.versus normality, but who will come out on top? Find out in this week's
:06:03. > :06:08.Reality Check. Granny and Grandad Unzipped, a shock for a girl in the
:06:08. > :06:12.Unzipped Sample leads to surprising advice. Celebs Unzipped - which of
:06:12. > :06:16.these faces sends rude messages to their family; and who has a problem
:06:16. > :06:23.with other people's children? All will be revealed in tonight's
:06:23. > :06:27.celebrity confessions. APPLAUSE. All that still to come. Hello guys,
:06:27. > :06:31.let's have a chin wag before we decimate your character. What are
:06:31. > :06:38.you up to at the moment? A couple of things, I'm going off to Bulgaria
:06:38. > :06:43.to do a thing called Plebs, basically like the In Between but
:06:43. > :06:47.set in ancient Rome. I play gladiator - don't laugh. I'm not
:06:48. > :06:52.laughing yet. But a herbal tea drinking gladiator and I'm also
:06:53. > :06:56.doing a film, I've got to speak French. Type cast. Can you speak
:06:56. > :07:00.French? Of course not. I haven't got a clue what I'm doing. I'm
:07:00. > :07:06.blagging it. My films go two ways, they are either brilliant or they
:07:06. > :07:15.are shit and there's just no middle ground so fingers crossed.
:07:15. > :07:18.footage we can show, because a lot of it is hard-hitting, if you are
:07:18. > :07:28.easily offended, please turn off because we are showing full on
:07:28. > :07:28.
:07:28. > :07:31.action with you going at it full frontal. Let's have a look at it.
:07:31. > :07:40.What if it doesn't feel safe? What if it doesn't feel safe?
:07:40. > :07:48.one way to find out. Right, how do look? Like a proper little madam.
:07:48. > :07:53.Good looking woman. What was going Good looking woman. What was going
:07:53. > :07:58.on there? Apart from of mine and Greg's average morning?
:07:58. > :08:02.I knew there was going to be sort of bollocks going on here, I
:08:02. > :08:08.knew it. Welcome to the show, you are going back to the jungle
:08:08. > :08:12.soon. I am. Are you missing him? He used to be on your show in the
:08:12. > :08:17.jungle. I am, there was a lot fun going on. I am going to miss
:08:17. > :08:22.you, we had some fun. It's just so hot though. Remember Julia
:08:22. > :08:30.with the thing up her skirt? Yes. It gets so hot that during adverts
:08:30. > :08:36.they have those snakes like size - An air conditions pipe. And
:08:36. > :08:41.Gillian McKeith shoved it up her skirt to cool the sweaty bits down.
:08:41. > :08:47.You would not have wanted to be downwind of that. What do you
:08:47. > :08:51.reckon the Irish version of this show would be like? Probably more
:08:51. > :08:57.alcohol. We've already got a going on here but - Is there
:08:57. > :09:00.Irish person in the audience? Did I hear a woo? Yeah, it's my cousin.
:09:00. > :09:06.are all related. You were in Ireland recently, what did you
:09:06. > :09:13.people? It's great, they are friendly, yes. Yes, very friendly.
:09:13. > :09:17.Sometimes too friendly. Yes did you get in my room?", - it
:09:17. > :09:22.doesn't matter. We are going to see how you compare with the rest of the
:09:22. > :09:26.country. So it's time for Unzipped's most important
:09:26. > :09:35.of all: Deirdre' Whitmore
:09:35. > :09:43.'Tarquin Oliver Sebastian' Dyer, you normal? OK, so first one, Danny,
:09:43. > :09:48.have you ever had sex at work? LAUGHTER. Obviously my
:09:48. > :09:54.me having sex, right? Mm-hm. there was this one time when I done
:09:54. > :10:03.a film with Gillian Anderson, right, and in the scene - what happened?
:10:03. > :10:06.I couldn't get it up. In real life, I was aroused. LAUGHTER . So
:10:06. > :10:10.basically, you know, I've got hump because I can't get it up,
:10:11. > :10:15.is going "It's all right, babe", I roll off the bed and the rest of the
:10:15. > :10:18.scene is played out with me on the edge of the bed. There's 40
:10:19. > :10:25.in the room, remember, so a very surreal moment. Did she
:10:25. > :10:31.you think? Well, of course she did, but it's an odd thing, it's so odd,
:10:31. > :10:41.doing sex scenes, and give you a sock, you put your winkle
:10:41. > :10:42.
:10:42. > :10:47.- LAUGHTER. And it has a little bit of string and you tie it up like
:10:47. > :10:52.that, a little beige sock, sometimes they gaffer tape it to your leg, and
:10:52. > :10:58.sometimes they say whack it out, crack on. Do you know what I mean?
:10:58. > :11:04.No, I don't. Apart from on-screen, have you ever main in your caravan -
:11:04. > :11:11.maybe? Not counting the sex scenes, no. Have you ever held hands on set
:11:11. > :11:20.or anything? There have been some holding of hands. A know then? OK,
:11:20. > :11:27.it's a yes. Done it at work! With my boyfriend though so it's fine.
:11:27. > :11:36.Your boyfriend is in a band, isn't it, called the Peronis?
:11:36. > :11:45.It's called the Coronas. OK, that's normal. 79% say they haven't had sex
:11:45. > :11:52.at work. Have you seen your parents flirting? I have caught my
:11:52. > :11:57.boyfriend flirting with my Mum but I think he was trying to get into
:11:57. > :12:07.family. She quite enjoyed it. What was he doing, a neck massage
:12:07. > :12:07.
:12:07. > :12:11.something? Is that nice, Mama Whitmore? That's exactly how he
:12:11. > :12:14.talks. No, it was like: you look nice, have you had your hair done?
:12:14. > :12:17.Which she had. I didn't even notice. I bet she is a sort though, your
:12:17. > :12:24.mother. She is probably watching now and loving that you guys are
:12:24. > :12:30.saying this what do you think about flirting being legalised in Ireland?
:12:30. > :12:34.It's extremely abnormal that she flirted back. Your mum's a pervert.
:12:34. > :12:38.It's just the way in Ireland, just the way. Danny, your daughter
:12:38. > :12:45.is 16, right? You have a 16-year-old daughter? Your
:12:45. > :12:51.is called Danny, isn't she? That was a short brainstorm, wasn't it?
:12:51. > :12:58.Yes. Well, no, we was told we were having a boy so I was going with
:12:58. > :13:06.Danny for a boy - you could have changed it. No, we stuck with
:13:06. > :13:11.Danny. I can't even imagine it. I've got a pug called Colin. What's
:13:11. > :13:15.it like with boys coming back? It's weird because recently she has asked
:13:15. > :13:24.if her boyfriend can stay over he is a nice kid but I tell you
:13:24. > :13:31.what, it fucking - all right, so imagine I'm 18, nerdy, lanky -
:13:31. > :13:36.imagine. It's hard to imagine, Greg, yes. I'm 18, I'm interested
:13:36. > :13:42.in Danny, your daughter, I'm going to come round your house -
:13:42. > :13:52.even saying that, I'm gonna do you. It's roleplay, don't punch me. You
:13:52. > :13:55.
:13:55. > :14:05.are going to ring the doorbell. will just get the shotgun. DOORBELL.
:14:05. > :14:16.
:14:16. > :14:22.Hiya, is your daughter in? LAUGHTER Why? LAUGHTER. No reason, bye.
:14:22. > :14:25.I wish it was that easy, I tell you. I wish it was that easy, I tell you.
:14:25. > :14:30.That poor kid. Let's see if he is as pretty when he is floating in the
:14:30. > :14:35.canal. I would love it if he is watching this show right now. He is
:14:35. > :14:38.going to watch it and learn a few things, I tell you. Laura, have you
:14:38. > :14:44.ever been clubbing with parents? Nightclubbing, not seal.
:14:44. > :14:50.LAUGHTER. Glad I didn't answer that question, that would be awkward.
:14:50. > :14:55.Look, there's a small one. Oh, so wrong. Yes, I have. I went
:14:55. > :15:00.these awards in Dublin, it was the soap awards. Mummy Whitmore
:15:00. > :15:08.over that. She was like get my picture with Ian Beale,
:15:08. > :15:13.because that's their names in real life. Of course his name is
:15:13. > :15:18.Woodyatt. Woodyatt. So you three went
:15:18. > :15:23.clubbing? Steve McDonald was also there. That is not normal. I have
:15:23. > :15:31.been clubbing with my Mum also. could leave them together. Yes,
:15:31. > :15:35.doing lines of HRT in the corner. LAUGHTER. You seen Carole's hair
:15:35. > :15:37.since she has been on the HRT? Only 15% of women are after
:15:38. > :15:43.15% of women are after clubbing with their parents and that. Next
:15:43. > :15:53.Have any of your social networking accounts got you into trouble? I'm
:15:53. > :15:54.
:15:54. > :15:57.a bit too honest in this PC world. In PC World? Those Macs are too
:15:57. > :16:01.expensive! Yes, basically, because I think the whole idea of Twitter is
:16:01. > :16:05.you tweet what's going on in mind and that's not necessarily
:16:05. > :16:10.good thing with me. No, I've about this thing where people go
:16:10. > :16:14.phishing for celebrities, to get a bite, and I bite every time, me. I'm
:16:14. > :16:18.a nightmare. We love your Twitter. Brilliant. It's some
:16:19. > :16:24.tweets of all time, maybe. Go on, go on. So Laura, we are going
:16:24. > :16:27.read out some of Danny's tweets, are going to do a blank and you have
:16:27. > :16:37.to fill in the missing word. So basically lovely innocent activities
:16:37. > :16:40.
:16:40. > :16:50.but made to sound proper hard, right?
:16:50. > :16:51.
:16:51. > :17:01.What lovely innocent activity was Mr D Dyer talking about? I can't even
:17:01. > :17:11.guess. A duck? Yay! Chucking bread into an empty lake with
:17:11. > :17:19.
:17:19. > :17:21.daughter. You well hard wanker. Next one.
:17:21. > :17:22.What were you trying to sort out? What were you trying to sort out?
:17:22. > :17:23.What were you trying to sort out? What lovely, innocent activity was
:17:23. > :17:27.What lovely, innocent activity was What lovely, innocent activity was
:17:27. > :17:33.What were you trying to sort that, Laura? I'm going to struggle
:17:33. > :17:40.here. I've got to stop this Twitter, hasn't it? Cross-trainer? I don't
:17:40. > :17:44.know. No, the correct answer was "bush", right? OK, I wasn't even
:17:44. > :17:54.close. Just see if I can through it because I've not
:17:54. > :17:54.
:17:54. > :18:04.yet. Tried to sort my bush out. I had a lovely little chain saw. The
:18:04. > :18:05.
:18:05. > :18:15.bleep was so powerful, it blew me. APPLAUSE. All right, one more.
:18:15. > :18:15.
:18:15. > :18:20.Guess what Danny was talking about in this tweet. 's show in himself.
:18:20. > :18:24.It's what goes on in my brain. It's what goes on in my brain.
:18:24. > :18:32.Pigeons, I don't know. The correct answer was foxes on the roof of
:18:32. > :18:37.shed. I can't believe the front of them. It's nature though. I swear,
:18:37. > :18:47.I'm an animal nut. I bought my girls a Chihuahua, that's the thing.
:18:47. > :18:54.man. They wanted him, they are out there munching, so they are out on
:18:54. > :19:00.my shed, waiting. Imagine that on Springwatch. "I'm gonna tear apart
:19:00. > :19:07.those fox wankers", so here is the verdict. That is not normal. Only 5%
:19:07. > :19:11.of men have been in trouble due to their social networking account but
:19:11. > :19:16.please don't stop. It brightens my day. That's the end of the
:19:16. > :19:20.round. Thank you for being so honest, Laura and Danny. And we
:19:20. > :19:23.probably should point out that anything you just said can and
:19:23. > :19:27.be used against you later in the show when the Unzipped Sample
:19:27. > :19:30.which of you is the most weird. I think we are starting to get the
:19:30. > :19:33.measure of Laura and Danny but well do they know you lot at home?
:19:33. > :19:37.We will be finding out very soon when they compete in this
:19:37. > :19:40.Reality Check. If you want one your own then go to the
:19:40. > :19:47.website after the show and complete our questionnaire. Want to know
:19:47. > :19:49.more about the real you but can't afford a shrink? Fear not, simply
:19:50. > :19:54.unzip yourself online and what you are really like. Keep
:19:55. > :20:00.results secret or share with the world, that is your choice.
:20:01. > :20:04.how you compare to me, Russell and other guests and this week learn how
:20:04. > :20:14.geeky you are. Just answer some extremely personal questions and
:20:14. > :20:17.will be revealed. Go to the website and click on Unzipped.
:20:17. > :20:19.It's time to discover where our It's time to discover where our
:20:19. > :20:23.celebrities are still keeping it real or whether they have
:20:23. > :20:26.disappeared up their own botties. To find out, we introduce you to
:20:26. > :20:29.something pretty unpleasant. So unpleasant you might need to use
:20:29. > :20:39.anti-bacterial wipe afterwards. Yes, you are about to come
:20:39. > :20:41.
:20:41. > :20:51.face-to-face with - tell them, Russell. Normal people! Follow us,
:20:51. > :20:52.
:20:52. > :20:58.Please welcome tonight's "normal Please welcome tonight's "normal
:20:58. > :21:01.people", Lauren and her brother Taylor. APPLAUSE. We thought we
:21:01. > :21:06.would keep it in the family for tonight's Reality Check. Lauren, can
:21:07. > :21:11.we just check a couple of things about you. Firstly how old are you?
:21:12. > :21:17.24. How many brothers and sisters? Three brothers, three sisters.
:21:17. > :21:27.come so many? My Mum was obviously keeping herself busy. How
:21:27. > :21:28.
:21:28. > :21:38.you? 18. Gutted. I hear you recently confused about the sun and
:21:38. > :21:39.
:21:39. > :21:44.the moon. I wonder how many people have worked out which region of
:21:44. > :21:48.England you are from. Whoever proves most in touch with reality tonight
:21:48. > :21:54.will get their hands on a unique prize so if you win tonight you will
:21:54. > :21:58.get your hands on these VIPs, important prizes. Danny has kindly
:21:58. > :22:03.donated a box set of his movies, his autobiography and a West Ham
:22:03. > :22:07.that is similar to one that he actually owns. Just a little clip
:22:07. > :22:12.from the autobiography to tease you here: the cat sat on the mat, then
:22:12. > :22:19.we went to the beach, then we went home and when we woke up it was all
:22:19. > :22:24.a dream. LAUGHTER. Laura has also donated some whisky, all the
:22:25. > :22:31.from her home in Co Wicklow, Ireland. And a Laura Whitmore
:22:32. > :22:37.calendar. AUDIENCE: Woo! I just got some pictures off her Facebook and
:22:37. > :22:43.glued them on the side of a cereal packet. If you are ready, we will
:22:43. > :22:49.hit the lights. Good, so question we asked the Great British public
:22:49. > :22:53.big question: would you prefer to stop famine or be famous? What
:22:53. > :22:58.percentage said they would rather be famous? Write your answers down,
:22:58. > :23:03.please. Closest to the correct one will win. What do you reckon? In
:23:03. > :23:09.other words, what percentage told the truth? Thin and famous,
:23:09. > :23:19.everyone wins. That was a joke by the way. We love you, fatties. What
:23:19. > :23:21.
:23:21. > :23:30.have you written, celebs? 65. Timmie and Taylor? Lauren and
:23:30. > :23:37.Taylor. Whatever. We've expressed our answer as fuzzy felt. I can
:23:37. > :23:46.reveal the% annual of people who would prefer to be famous is a
:23:46. > :23:49.shocking 28% which means Laura and Danny win the round. So we asked
:23:50. > :23:59.women what they were most likely to lie about in everyday life. Here
:23:59. > :24:04.the options: job, happiness, relationship, diet. I don't know, I
:24:04. > :24:14.reckon diet. Is that sexist? can't pretending to like you be
:24:14. > :24:15.
:24:15. > :24:20.the list? Celebs, time is up. Diet and a smiley face. Diet. Tommy and
:24:20. > :24:24.Lily, you've gone with diet as well. You have got the names wrong again.
:24:24. > :24:29.Taylor and Lawrence. No. reveal the top answer that women
:24:29. > :24:33.about is happiness. That's really sad. So that's why I'm happy and
:24:33. > :24:36.life is probably so often followed by a tear-stained goodbye letter.
:24:36. > :24:40.Happiness is followed by diet, relationship and finally job,
:24:40. > :24:46.means that over a third of all women in our lives are not
:24:46. > :24:51.they are sad liars. What do you lie about most in life, do you reckon?
:24:51. > :24:58.I'm a terrible liar, the worst in the world. Lying right now.
:24:58. > :25:04.Lauren, what about you? Lying about being hungover at work with your
:25:04. > :25:14.head in the bin under the desk. Danny, what do you lie about?
:25:14. > :25:14.
:25:14. > :25:18.an actor, I always lie. You just grassed yourself up though. No one
:25:18. > :25:22.at work will watch this programme. I meant they are rather stuck up so
:25:23. > :25:25.they won't watch something like this, all right? Next question: what
:25:25. > :25:35.percentage of people said that would intervene if they witnessed a
:25:35. > :25:39.mugging? If I see that, I have to step in. I often run up and go "Stop
:25:39. > :25:47.it", and then run away. What percentage do you think? I reckon
:25:47. > :25:53.quite low, 19. There's a lot of shitters out there. It's a mug's
:25:53. > :25:59.game, isn't it? Terry, Lucy, have you got? Taylor and Lauren.
:25:59. > :26:02.45% 45%. I can now reveal the percentage of people who would
:26:02. > :26:07.intervene in a mug something a very impressive 80%. The other 20%
:26:07. > :26:13.the ones doing the course. That means Terry and Adam
:26:13. > :26:17.you win the round. Lauren and Taylor win! APPLAUSE. If you saw
:26:17. > :26:21.someone being mugged in real would you step in? Of course I
:26:21. > :26:25.would. Especially if it was an old girl. What if it was me?
:26:25. > :26:29.think I would just crack on, I think. Join in? Yes, I think I
:26:29. > :26:33.would stick the boot in if it happens. Obviously you are
:26:33. > :26:40.amazing actor and I wanted to to you about a bit of acting I have
:26:40. > :26:43.been doing. I have been writing, directing, acting in my own Brit
:26:43. > :26:53.gangster movie. I wondered would take a look at this trailer
:26:53. > :26:58.
:26:58. > :27:08.and let me know what you think. Love to.
:27:08. > :27:12.
:27:12. > :27:22.# So messed up # So messed up
:27:22. > :27:32.
:27:32. > :27:35.you are pathetic, pay up you useless # In my room, I want you here #
:27:35. > :27:39.Sorry. Sorry.
:27:39. > :27:49.you are pathetic, # Now we are gonna be face-to-face #
:27:49. > :27:56.
:27:56. > :28:06.It's time for the main event. TICKING. Go.
:28:06. > :28:10.Yes! APPLAUSE
:28:10. > :28:20.So what's your one-word review of So what's your one-word review of
:28:20. > :28:25.
:28:25. > :28:29.that? LAUGHTER. Dog shit. Ha ha! Sorry, that's out of order. Dick.
:28:29. > :28:35.Please don't punch me. At the end of that game I can reveal that the
:28:35. > :28:41.who were most in touch with the British public is - it's a draw,
:28:41. > :28:47.it's both of you. Amazing. I like to think that I in some way can
:28:47. > :28:51.break down the sociological barriers that sadly divide elitist
:28:51. > :28:57.celebrities from scum. Still to come tonight, celebrity professions
:28:57. > :29:01.from some of the biggest names in showbiz, and Joe Swash. Yes, but
:29:01. > :29:06.not before we tell you something guarantee you won't have heard
:29:06. > :29:09.before about people like Laura Danny. Let's hope Danny's kids
:29:09. > :29:13.aren't watching tonight. Turns that Londoners are more likely to
:29:13. > :29:18.wish their children were better looking than anyone else in Britain.
:29:18. > :29:22.And here are some more snapshots from the Unzipped family album. In
:29:22. > :29:28.Scotland 38% of people think you are never too old to give Mummy and
:29:28. > :29:33.Daddy a kiss on the lips much 10% of the UK confess to fancying one of
:29:33. > :29:39.their own relatives. And single girls are more attractive to guys
:29:39. > :29:45.who remind them of their old man, which should be a relief for Laura's
:29:45. > :29:50.boyfriend and her Dad. Hello, darling. APPLAUSE.
:29:50. > :30:00.We are talk being family tonight and I have a tricky question now for
:30:00. > :30:01.
:30:01. > :30:07.Laura. TEXT MESSAGE ALERT. Your phone is not on. That is so
:30:07. > :30:10.unprofessional. Danny, after the show, right. Yes, that
:30:10. > :30:17.pub with a pool table I was you about. We will have a good night
:30:17. > :30:22.out. So we are going to ask Laura - I will just check my phone actually.
:30:22. > :30:28.The signal is down. Oh, you've merged the drinks because you and me
:30:28. > :30:29.were going out. You and me can our ten-minute break and then we
:30:29. > :30:36.will cricket will
:30:36. > :30:40.will crack on. Do you know what, I will make it easy for you. I won't
:30:40. > :30:46.be there because I'm not even to be here now. We've got
:30:46. > :30:51.minutes left. I probably could do it on my own but - Do you know what,
:30:51. > :30:57.was only messing around, I've got five bars, you dick. Sorry,
:30:57. > :31:00.got to deal with it. Do you know what, listen. I'm going to deal with
:31:00. > :31:10.this. Don't worry about it, I will sort this right out. Someone
:31:10. > :31:13.
:31:13. > :31:16.Oi, plumb. What? I've seen you Oi, plumb. What? I've seen you
:31:16. > :31:20.doing this shit every week, walking off the show. What's the matter with
:31:20. > :31:25.you? What's the matter is Greg is supposed to be my mate. Shut your
:31:25. > :31:30.mouth. You need to man up a bit. Look at you, you are pathetic. What
:31:30. > :31:36.kind of geezer wears that, and what about the make-up.
:31:36. > :31:42.Get a grip, you look like a bird. We had Russell Brand poncing about,
:31:42. > :31:46.then Russell Howard, now we got you? Now, I'm going to keep it very
:31:46. > :31:50.simple: do you want to look in front of the whole country? No.
:31:50. > :31:54.Sorry, I can't hear you. No Danny, of course I don't. Right, so let's
:31:54. > :32:01.go and do this. Right, let's the shit out of it, yeah? Watch
:32:01. > :32:05.your language, we are on the BBC. BLEEP
:32:05. > :32:08.APPLAUSE. Sorry about that, Danny APPLAUSE. Sorry about that, Danny
:32:08. > :32:16.wanted to know about birds and football and metal and meat and
:32:16. > :32:20.stuff like that. Cheers, Dan. pry into our guests' private lives.
:32:20. > :32:25.Are you close to your family? I but they are all in Ireland so I'm
:32:25. > :32:29.close except there's a big sea in between us. Do your
:32:29. > :32:34.everything you do? No, because they are not watching this right now
:32:34. > :32:39.hope. My Mum stalks everything do. She does. She has me on Google
:32:39. > :32:47.alerts which is never good. Danny, you have been with your partner for
:32:47. > :32:52.20 years, how come you have not got married? 22 years. I just think
:32:52. > :32:57.them days of the old school are gone. It's her day, it's not
:32:57. > :33:01.the geezer. I just want to get everyone a bed, get my nan a bed and
:33:01. > :33:05.then start right having it, and I mean? So this is where
:33:05. > :33:10.Russell goes into the Unzipped Sample but tonight it's different
:33:10. > :33:17.because I thought I might do it tonight to get some thoughts from
:33:17. > :33:26.them. All right? Try it for one week. Hold on, what does he do? Get
:33:26. > :33:32.me my baton of mirth. Oh my God. You are fifth, aren't you? What is your
:33:32. > :33:35.name? Vicky. Hi. Do you talk to your parents about sex? Mmm,
:33:35. > :33:40.sometimes, yes, she doesn't really have a choice because I'm always on
:33:40. > :33:46.the phone talk being it so she has to listen. You are quite open?
:33:46. > :33:51.Yes. What about your grandparents? Yes - I wish there was
:33:51. > :33:56.could talk to them about some stuff on the show. Shut up. Earlier on
:33:56. > :34:02.this week I caught up with your Granny and Grandad. You never! I
:34:02. > :34:06.did, yes. Say hello to Alan and Eileen. There they are, and Alan and
:34:07. > :34:09.Eileen have been in love for years. Hiya. So we thought Vicky,
:34:09. > :34:14.you could benefit from experience about personal matters.
:34:14. > :34:19.What do you reckon? OK, oh my God, let's do it, yeah. One thing I
:34:19. > :34:22.mentioned is that when you to be in the audience we said we
:34:22. > :34:27.needed personal stuff about you for research purposes but
:34:27. > :34:31.reason is we are going to use questions and put them to your
:34:31. > :34:40.grandparents and they are going to give us some answers. So we
:34:40. > :34:45.them all about your exploits. You never! I did. I did. So what's your
:34:45. > :34:49.love life like? Are you in love? Am I heck. No one will have me. Well,
:34:49. > :34:53.they do and then they get a bit bored, I think, or yeah,
:34:53. > :34:59.bored. I can't imagine they are bored. I'm hard work really, I
:34:59. > :35:02.think. So you were a rep in Zante once? Yes. Were you well-behaved?
:35:03. > :35:09.No. What happened? A you know. The number went up, didn't
:35:09. > :35:13.it? I don't know. LAUGHTER. you know. Got drunk a lot, didn't
:35:14. > :35:17.get much sleep. And pretended to do your job and didn't really, that
:35:17. > :35:22.kind of thing. OK, well we heard that you weren't shy about flashing
:35:22. > :35:31.your boobs, so how did Grandad react to this news? They
:35:31. > :35:36.actually wouldn't be probably surprised, I think. OK, A: shock add
:35:36. > :35:42.disgusted. B: a family tradition. It is, they've all got boob jobs
:35:42. > :35:49.apart from me. Or C: they were relieved it was only your boobs you
:35:49. > :35:52.flashed. B: family tradition. as you know, it's a family trait,
:35:52. > :35:59.have two daughters in law fond of the same thing. We treat it
:35:59. > :36:05.as a bit of fun. I'm not sure about granddaughters, but
:36:05. > :36:10.daughter-in-law, it's lovely. LAUGHTER. I feel like that's a bit
:36:10. > :36:13.weird. Is it weird? It is a bit, isn't it. So you were right, it's a
:36:13. > :36:16.family tradition. Next one: have you ever fallen asleep during sex?
:36:16. > :36:22.Yeah. What happened? Just really, really drunk and
:36:22. > :36:26.asleep. It happens. Yeah. Just once? Yes, I think so, but then
:36:26. > :36:32.like I fell off the bed. Yeah. So we told your Granny and Grandad
:36:32. > :36:39.about this. Thanks Greg, yes. Obviously. What do you think the
:36:39. > :36:45.advice was to stop it happening again? A: make sure you have coffee
:36:45. > :36:50.before getting frisky. B: sleep with more exciting people. Or C:
:36:50. > :36:59.should read 50 Shades of Grey? 50 Shades of Grey, 100%. Yes, my Granny
:36:59. > :37:02.like that is. OK. LAUGHTER . Good luck everyone. Let's see what they
:37:02. > :37:07.said. Whilst on holiday I've just read the three books of 50 Shades of
:37:07. > :37:11.Grey. LAUGHTER. If you haven't already read them I think you might
:37:11. > :37:16.be able to pick up a few tips to keep things interesting in the
:37:16. > :37:21.bedroom. Lots of tips. Lots of tips. They introduced silver balls
:37:21. > :37:25.and so you know what Granny is like, I actually bought her some but they
:37:25. > :37:29.had to be gold because Granny is not a silver person, is she? I was
:37:29. > :37:32.bit worried about not being able to retrieve them afterwards, but you
:37:32. > :37:42.know, you are younger and fitter and you might manage with
:37:42. > :37:46.
:37:46. > :37:50.right. LAUGHTER. Laura, do you think that's good
:37:50. > :37:54.advice for not getting sleepy in the bedroom? Do you know what, I
:37:54. > :38:00.haven't read the book yet but I think on your Granny's advice that
:38:00. > :38:03.maybe is beneficial. You've got hot grandparents though, haven't you?
:38:03. > :38:07.They are gorgeous, aren't they. She is so glam. Your grandfather is
:38:07. > :38:12.good looking man. We asked what was the secret to a happy
:38:12. > :38:16.relationship? What did Granny and Grandad say: it's all about
:38:16. > :38:20.tolerance and low expectations? about compromise, or C: it's
:38:20. > :38:25.lots of sex and laughter. What do you reckon? Lots of sex and
:38:25. > :38:28.laughter, yeah. I would probably go for that too. LAUGHTER. Well, I
:38:28. > :38:33.think, Victoria, that the secret a happy relationship, as you know,
:38:33. > :38:36.with Grandad and I is we enjoy our sex life and we laugh and laugh a
:38:36. > :38:42.lot, both in the bedroom the bedroom. And we trust each
:38:42. > :38:46.other. And as you get older, of course, the more laughs you have in
:38:47. > :38:56.the bedroom. It's not as serious it is when you are young like you.
:38:57. > :39:01.
:39:01. > :39:07.Because the bones don't bend. LAUGHTER. Make him stop, Greg! Make
:39:07. > :39:12.it stop! Ah! Can't believe that. And we will never, ever unsee that.
:39:12. > :39:16.Ever. That was amazing. They are brilliant, aren't they? They do
:39:16. > :39:19.seem properly amazing. Thank you. No, thank you, and
:39:19. > :39:27.and Grandad, I think we've heard some very valuable advice there.
:39:27. > :39:30.That was amazing. Everyone, Alan and Eileen. APPLAUSE.
:39:30. > :39:34.Now, it's time for a crucial moment in the show based on what we've
:39:34. > :39:41.heard from Laura and Danny tonight. It's time for you to decide which of
:39:41. > :39:46.them, Danny and Laura, is the least normal. If you think Laura is
:39:46. > :39:56.having the devilment about her, cheer now. SILENCE. I could at
:39:56. > :39:57.
:39:57. > :40:04.least have one person. Thanks. If you think Danny, cheer now.
:40:04. > :40:08.CHEERING. Well done, Danny, you the weirdest this week. How do you
:40:08. > :40:11.feel about being awarded this honour? I'm actually over the moon,
:40:11. > :40:14.thank you. Thank you so everybody. Do you mean the moon or
:40:14. > :40:18.the sun? The sun. You are going to believe this
:40:18. > :40:21.not the end of the drama on tonight's show because Laura and
:40:21. > :40:28.Danny are about to try and win everyone in tonight's audience
:40:28. > :40:34.alcohol. CHEERING. No pressure, no pressure whatsoever.
:40:34. > :40:44.It's time for last orders at the Entertainment Arms, because this
:40:44. > :40:45.
:40:45. > :40:46.If Laura and Danny do the business If Laura and Danny do the business
:40:46. > :40:47.If Laura and Danny do the business tonight, the entire Unzipped
:40:47. > :40:47.tonight, the entire Unzipped tonight, the entire Unzipped
:40:48. > :40:53.If Laura and audience will hit the
:40:53. > :40:59.get their hands and mouths on a very special cocktail. AUDIENCE: Woo!
:40:59. > :41:06.Say hello to the carousel of celebrity. There it is. Her, her,
:41:06. > :41:16.him and her as well. Yes, Greg. LAUGHTER. Laura and Danny,
:41:16. > :41:16.
:41:16. > :41:23.the rules are really simple. Get more questions right than wrong.
:41:23. > :41:27.Sorry. Miss Whitmore? Yes. And Mr Sorry. Miss Whitmore? Yes. And Mr
:41:27. > :41:36.Dyer. Yes. I can almost smell tension so let's find your first
:41:36. > :41:44.celebrity. Spin it please. Shout stop whenever. Stop - that
:41:44. > :41:50.Irish by the way. We asked Essex vajazzler if she believes in aliens,
:41:50. > :41:57.do you think she does or doesn't? I think she believes in most
:41:57. > :42:01.would say yes. OK, look, does that face believe in aliens? I'm
:42:01. > :42:07.with these guys, these guys with these guys, these
:42:07. > :42:10.with these guys, these guys know. That's a yes. Do you know what, my
:42:10. > :42:19.friend actually saw an alien so after that story
:42:19. > :42:28.believe in aliens. LAUGHTER. Doing well, doing well. That was correct.
:42:28. > :42:31.Next one. Cheeky spin. Stop. There he is. We asked TV presenter Rick
:42:31. > :42:34.Edwards if he would donate sperm to a single friend who was desperate to
:42:35. > :42:42.have a baby. Do you think he said yes or no? Audience, what do you
:42:42. > :42:52.reckon? He is a nice guy. I'm going to say yes. Yes. Go for it,
:42:52. > :42:53.
:42:53. > :42:56.let's have a look. I would donate my sperm to fucking anyone. LAUGHTER
:42:56. > :43:01.a lovely, generous guy. Legend. a lovely, generous guy. Legend.
:43:01. > :43:07.one more for the booze. Spin that wheel. OK, stop now. Didn't stop
:43:07. > :43:11.very quick for you, Greg. Swash. For the booze, the Joe Swash question.
:43:11. > :43:20.We asked Joe Swash if he finds other people's children annoying. Did
:43:20. > :43:26.say yes or no? AUDIENCE: Yes. He a nice kid - Yes, he is lovely
:43:26. > :43:32.I think he may find - You know best. But I think no kid
:43:32. > :43:38.match up to his kid. I'm going to say yes. Let's find out. Do other
:43:38. > :43:43.people's children annoy me? they do. They do annoy me, and they
:43:43. > :43:51.really frustrate me as well. It's terrible to say this, but ugly
:43:51. > :44:00.children annoy me. It's like it's their own fault, like they've done
:44:00. > :44:03.something to be ugly, yes. terrible. APPLAUSE.
:44:03. > :44:09.And an amazing answer but thing is, it's correct and you've
:44:09. > :44:12.won the alcohol for here. CHEERING.
:44:12. > :44:17.Amazing news. Thanks to you, everyone in the audience tonight
:44:17. > :44:22.wins a cocktail! CHEERING. That's all the time we have been
:44:22. > :44:25.allotted on BBC Three this evening. A big thank you to our special
:44:25. > :44:26.guests Laura Whitmore and Kevin Doyle.