0:00:02 > 0:00:04It was a show that went out three nights a week, live...
0:00:04 > 0:00:05Mr Wogan, you're on.
0:00:05 > 0:00:09..with a live audience and everyone who was anyone dropping in.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12The great and the good, the bad and the ugly,
0:00:12 > 0:00:13and they called it Wogan.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15Huh, I never knew why.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17So if you're sitting comfortably,
0:00:17 > 0:00:20I'll show you something I made earlier.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23God knows what they'll make of us in 25 years' time.
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Welcome.
0:00:36 > 0:00:40Today we're bursting with home-grown talent and familiar faces
0:00:40 > 0:00:44with a line-up that celebrates some of the very best of British.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47We're talking about the likes of Barbara Windsor,
0:00:47 > 0:00:48Bruce Forsyth,
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Bob Geldof,
0:00:50 > 0:00:51David Attenborough...
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Yeah, all of today's talented guests have,
0:00:54 > 0:00:56at some point in their careers,
0:00:56 > 0:00:57been clutched to the collective bosom
0:00:57 > 0:00:59of the great British public,
0:00:59 > 0:01:01winning their affection or their respect, or both.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05It's not like you lot are easier to win over.
0:01:05 > 0:01:06Nobody knows better than me.
0:01:06 > 0:01:10Anyway, first up, we've got a date with Cilla Black.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14Not a blind one, but "surprise, surprise!"
0:01:14 > 0:01:17She's not just talking, she's singing as well.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19APPLAUSE
0:01:26 > 0:01:30# Step inside love
0:01:30 > 0:01:33# Let me find you a place
0:01:33 > 0:01:37# Where the cares of the day will be carried away
0:01:37 > 0:01:40# By the smile on your face
0:01:40 > 0:01:45# We are together now and forever
0:01:45 > 0:01:48# Come my way
0:01:48 > 0:01:51# Step inside love
0:01:51 > 0:01:56- # And stay - Step inside love
0:01:56 > 0:02:00# Step inside love
0:02:00 > 0:02:02# Step inside love
0:02:02 > 0:02:06# I want you to stay
0:02:09 > 0:02:13# You look tired, love
0:02:13 > 0:02:17# Let me turn down the light
0:02:17 > 0:02:21# Come in out of the cold, rest your head on my shoulder
0:02:21 > 0:02:24# And love me tonight
0:02:24 > 0:02:28# We'll be together now and forever
0:02:28 > 0:02:31# Come my way
0:02:31 > 0:02:35# Step inside love
0:02:35 > 0:02:40- # And stay - Step inside love
0:02:40 > 0:02:43# Step inside love
0:02:43 > 0:02:46# Step inside love
0:02:46 > 0:02:51# I want you to, oh, stay
0:02:53 > 0:02:56# When you leave me
0:02:57 > 0:03:00# Say you'll see me again
0:03:00 > 0:03:05# For I know in my heart, we will not be apart
0:03:05 > 0:03:07# And I'll miss you till then
0:03:07 > 0:03:12# We'll be together now and forever
0:03:12 > 0:03:15# Come my way
0:03:15 > 0:03:18# Step inside love
0:03:18 > 0:03:23- # And stay - Step inside love
0:03:23 > 0:03:27- # Step inside love - You know I need you
0:03:27 > 0:03:31- # Step inside love - I want you to
0:03:31 > 0:03:33# Stay
0:03:36 > 0:03:39# I want you to stay. #
0:03:44 > 0:03:46WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:48 > 0:03:51You came up with The Beatles, of course, and you must have...
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Legendary figures now.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56You must have known them all pretty intimately, didn't you?
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Well, I did. I've seen them in their underpants!
0:03:58 > 0:04:00LAUGHTER
0:04:00 > 0:04:03I have because we all used to have to change together and...
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Well, not change together,
0:04:05 > 0:04:08but I used to go dressed up anyway to the clubs.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12I've been singing since I was 14 around the clubs in Liverpool.
0:04:12 > 0:04:17What a lot of people forget is that they thought that Brian Epstein,
0:04:17 > 0:04:21the lovely Brian Epstein, just came along and made The Beatles
0:04:21 > 0:04:24and myself and Gerry and Billy and The Fourmost,
0:04:24 > 0:04:27all those people from Liverpool, big, big stars,
0:04:27 > 0:04:28but everybody forgets
0:04:28 > 0:04:30we were all going for about four or five years before
0:04:30 > 0:04:32in and around the clubs in Liverpool.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36In fact, I did my audition for Brian, Brian Epstein...
0:04:36 > 0:04:39It wasn't even in Liverpool, it was in Birkenhead.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41And then you set off around the country
0:04:41 > 0:04:44and then you found yourself in London.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Oh, well, I did. I hated it.
0:04:46 > 0:04:47You see, I never met...
0:04:47 > 0:04:49I was in the West End of London...
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Within three months I was starring at the London Palladium
0:04:52 > 0:04:56with the great Frankie Vaughan and Tommy Cooper and The Fourmost,
0:04:56 > 0:04:58and I was living in a hotel, you see.
0:04:58 > 0:05:03- It was all very...daunting, is that the right word?- That's the word.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Yeah, I've learnt big words since coming on here.
0:05:05 > 0:05:06LAUGHTER
0:05:06 > 0:05:09You don't happen to know what "iconoclast" means, do you?
0:05:09 > 0:05:10No! AUDIENCE ROARS
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- What was I talking about?- About how you hated London, first of all,
0:05:15 > 0:05:17cos you were a simple Liverpudlian.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21Well, yeah, I was that simple and I only ever met tourists.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24I never met the real London people. It was so marvellous to me -
0:05:24 > 0:05:28my very best friend, when I met her doing Ready Steady Go!,
0:05:28 > 0:05:30was Cathy McGowan. It was really nice to go back to her house
0:05:30 > 0:05:33and have a good bowl of soup and a pan of scouse...
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Ready Steady Go!
0:05:35 > 0:05:37LAUGHTER
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Oh, it was fantastic!
0:05:39 > 0:05:43The first thing they did to me was throw me in a dirty big posh hotel.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Mind you, I thought that was wonderful.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49I got into this room, you know, and my own black and white telly,
0:05:49 > 0:05:51my own 14-inch black and white telly.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54And a telephone beside my bed!
0:05:55 > 0:05:56I couldn't believe it.
0:05:56 > 0:06:01I was really over the moon - I picked up this phone, I went to dial and...
0:06:01 > 0:06:03then I remembered.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Nobody I knew had a phone.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07LAUGHTER
0:06:07 > 0:06:10It was really the biggest comedown for me.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12So I was very homesick for a while
0:06:12 > 0:06:17and I missed... When I did get a bit of stardom, I really missed
0:06:17 > 0:06:20doing the things that I wanted. It took a long time to adjust.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24My favourite food was always egg and chips,
0:06:24 > 0:06:25or chip butties
0:06:25 > 0:06:29and my favourite place to eat was the Golden Egg in Leicester Square.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31AUDIENCE TITTERS And when I had a number one...
0:06:31 > 0:06:34What are you laughing at? LAUGHTER
0:06:34 > 0:06:38It was, I loved it. When I went there wearing my Mary Quant plastic mac...
0:06:38 > 0:06:40LAUGHTER
0:06:42 > 0:06:44..as I was putting a piece of egg
0:06:44 > 0:06:46that had dripped down my chin in my gob,
0:06:46 > 0:06:48someone... I got mobbed.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53And they pulled this button off my Mary Quant plastic mac
0:06:53 > 0:06:56and, you know, you can't repair plastic.
0:06:56 > 0:06:57LAUGHTER
0:06:57 > 0:07:02And I bought it with my first week's wages and it was ever so sad.
0:07:02 > 0:07:03I really miss Liverpool.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06In fact, I was there the other day
0:07:06 > 0:07:08and it was like, when I go home to Liverpool -
0:07:08 > 0:07:12I only really go to see my mam and my brothers and Bobby's family -
0:07:12 > 0:07:16I never venture out in the streets, except the other day I did,
0:07:16 > 0:07:18cos I was promoting the new album
0:07:18 > 0:07:22and it really frightened the life out of this interviewer, cos they said,
0:07:22 > 0:07:25"We'll go down on the main streets, you know,
0:07:25 > 0:07:28"and interview you there." I said OK, so we sat there.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Within minutes, it was like the Kop.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33They were all round and I knew every one of them.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36She could not get her interview done cos she was saying...
0:07:36 > 0:07:39all these people around, all these women were saying,
0:07:39 > 0:07:41"Oh, hello, girl. How's your mother?"
0:07:41 > 0:07:42LAUGHTER
0:07:42 > 0:07:45"Oh, she looks much better after the operation, love, she does."
0:07:45 > 0:07:47All things like that, it was really smashing,
0:07:47 > 0:07:50and I went to the local ra...
0:07:50 > 0:07:53You do a lovely radio show, you really do,
0:07:53 > 0:07:55but I think Liverpool have got the two greatest.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58LAUGHTER
0:07:58 > 0:08:00APPLAUSE
0:08:00 > 0:08:03No, no, it's not a put-down.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05I'm just telling you I'm so proud of Liverpool
0:08:05 > 0:08:08and we've got the two greatest Liverpool stations in the world -
0:08:08 > 0:08:12Radio Merseyside and Radio City.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- No, doesn't strike a bell. - LAUGHTER
0:08:15 > 0:08:17If you ever go there, listen.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20I was home before Christmas and I was crying,
0:08:20 > 0:08:22because just to show you how funny...
0:08:22 > 0:08:25I go home there to get my sense of humour back.
0:08:25 > 0:08:30Just to show you how funny Liverpool people are, they do a phone-in thing
0:08:30 > 0:08:32on these radio programmes
0:08:32 > 0:08:35and it's sort of first names - you have got to guess
0:08:35 > 0:08:39the first names and the catchphrase is,
0:08:39 > 0:08:41"Gizza clue, Billy, oh, gizza clue."
0:08:41 > 0:08:43That's the catchphrase, "gizza clue."
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Well, the first name...
0:08:46 > 0:08:49So funny. The first name was,
0:08:49 > 0:08:51"All right, girl,
0:08:51 > 0:08:52"What was Hitler's first name?"
0:08:52 > 0:08:55It made me laugh, this is why I remembered, when Len was on.
0:08:55 > 0:08:56"What was Hitler's first name?"
0:08:56 > 0:08:58"Oh, gizza clue, Billy, gizza clue."
0:08:58 > 0:09:00LAUGHTER
0:09:02 > 0:09:06Back came the reply from Billy, "Oh, hey, girl, I can't give you the clue.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09"I tell you what, I'll play a bit of music, love.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11"Then you can ask a neighbour or something.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13"I can't give you the clue to that."
0:09:13 > 0:09:15So he plays a bit of music.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Comes back, "Have you thought about it, love?"
0:09:17 > 0:09:20"Oh, I know now, Billy, it's all right, I know."
0:09:20 > 0:09:22He said, "Well, what was Hitler's first name?"
0:09:22 > 0:09:23She said,
0:09:23 > 0:09:24"HEIL!"
0:09:24 > 0:09:27AUDIENCE ROARS
0:09:27 > 0:09:29That is true. It's true.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35And so we move along from the natural wonder that is Cilla Black
0:09:35 > 0:09:38to the wonderful naturalist David Attenborough.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42He's still top of the tree when it comes to wildlife programmes,
0:09:42 > 0:09:44but can you believe it?
0:09:44 > 0:09:47I was giving him a hard time about being past it
0:09:47 > 0:09:50when he visited the show...
0:09:50 > 0:09:5130 years ago.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55To be honest, you're looking very fresh-faced and you surprise me
0:09:55 > 0:09:58- because you looked a bit peaky... - Yes?
0:09:58 > 0:09:59..up the mountains.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02LAUGHTER
0:10:02 > 0:10:05Honestly, many people have written to me saying,
0:10:05 > 0:10:08"I think poor old David Attenborough
0:10:08 > 0:10:10"has probably seen his best years."
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- Yes.- There was a lot of what I can only describe as...
0:10:13 > 0:10:15- BREATHLESSLY:- "And...here we are..."
0:10:15 > 0:10:17LAUGHTER
0:10:17 > 0:10:19TERRY GASPS
0:10:19 > 0:10:21- That's right.- Yeah.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24I tell you, I felt just the teeniest bit miffed about this
0:10:24 > 0:10:29because what that first part of that programme was meant to show
0:10:29 > 0:10:32that animals of all kinds - and human beings are animals-
0:10:32 > 0:10:37adapt to their environment if they live there for a long time.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41And when we got right up to the top,
0:10:41 > 0:10:44about 18,000 feet, which is very high...
0:10:44 > 0:10:45No excuses, now, David.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47LAUGHTER I wanted to demonstrate
0:10:47 > 0:10:51that the Sherpa people who lived up there were very much better at living
0:10:51 > 0:10:56in those altitudes, you see, than poor old lowlanders and Europeans.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58They are better cos their lungs are bigger
0:10:58 > 0:11:01and they have more red blood corpuscles in their blood
0:11:01 > 0:11:03to carry the oxygen, you see.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07So I won't pretend that I was actually totally with all my puff,
0:11:07 > 0:11:10but I nonetheless did a certain amount of...
0:11:10 > 0:11:12BREATHLESSLY: "Up here, it's...
0:11:12 > 0:11:13"rather difficult to breathe,
0:11:13 > 0:11:17"whereas all these people are pulling ploughs and working like mad things."
0:11:17 > 0:11:19As a consequence, as you say, everybody said, "Poor old thing."
0:11:19 > 0:11:22LAUGHTER "He shouldn't be up there!"
0:11:22 > 0:11:25So what you're saying is that if you had conserved your breath,
0:11:25 > 0:11:28you might have been able to deliver without a hint of breathlessness.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31Well, yes, if I had sort of spent a little time sitting down...
0:11:31 > 0:11:33and waiting before speaking, yes.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36It's not advancing senility and very shortly anyway,
0:11:36 > 0:11:38you'll be going down to sea level, won't you?
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Yes, and below, so help us.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43You're not going below the bounding main?
0:11:43 > 0:11:47Well, unfortunately, yes, I got stuck into this.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50You know how we are - we are subject to the dictates
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- of these brutal producers.- Mmm.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55- The whims of the mandarins.- Indeed.
0:11:55 > 0:11:56LAUGHTER The very thing.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00And my mandarin is a chap called Richard Brock,
0:12:00 > 0:12:03who heard that in the Maldive Islands,
0:12:03 > 0:12:06there were sharks that could be fed by hand.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09AUDIENCE GUFFAWS
0:12:09 > 0:12:11"I think it'd be a terrific idea," he said,
0:12:11 > 0:12:13"if you went down, fed them by hand,
0:12:13 > 0:12:17"and we'll put a microphone in your face mask
0:12:17 > 0:12:18"and you could do a commentary."
0:12:18 > 0:12:20LAUGHTER I said, "Are you sure?"
0:12:20 > 0:12:25He said yes, and we went to this place and there's a German diver
0:12:25 > 0:12:27who has been feeding these sharks...
0:12:27 > 0:12:29They're not huge, they're not 20 feet long,
0:12:29 > 0:12:32- they're only a mere seven or eight feet long.- What a shame(!)
0:12:34 > 0:12:38And he feeds them, you see, with an old kipper or a haddock or something.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42They come and take it from his hand.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45So I dived down with my little microphone in my mask
0:12:45 > 0:12:47and I sat on the bottom, about 80 feet,
0:12:47 > 0:12:49and I kept my arms firmly folded, you see.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53And then these sharks appeared.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56Of course, I said how wonderful they all were through the microphone,
0:12:56 > 0:13:00but they realised that they were expecting breakfast, you see.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04I hadn't got a haddock or a kipper, and they came closer and closer
0:13:04 > 0:13:08and I began to wish that maybe I did have a haddock or a kipper,
0:13:08 > 0:13:10and finally they actually biffed me on the top of the head.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13They came along and hit you on the top of the head like that.
0:13:15 > 0:13:21All the time, I was saying these pregnant words, you see,
0:13:21 > 0:13:24into a little tape recorder lashed to my waist.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27When I came out, I, of course, naturally felt I was a hero.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29I said, "Well, it was nothing, chaps."
0:13:31 > 0:13:34They took the tape recorder off me and they took out the lid
0:13:34 > 0:13:36and they poured out half a pint of water and they said,
0:13:36 > 0:13:40"Tomorrow morning, we'll do it again."
0:13:40 > 0:13:42LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:13:48 > 0:13:51With Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Matilda
0:13:51 > 0:13:53and his Tales Of The Unexpected,
0:13:53 > 0:13:55it was no surprise to find that Roald Dahl
0:13:55 > 0:13:57could tell a fine anecdote.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00He might also have been champion of the world
0:14:00 > 0:14:02when it came to name-dropping.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Just a shame that some twit,
0:14:04 > 0:14:05or "Twits",
0:14:05 > 0:14:08placed him on the creakiest chair in London.
0:14:10 > 0:14:11You'll hear what I mean.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14But children's stories, is that...?
0:14:14 > 0:14:18Is that an easy option for a writer, writing children's stories?
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- A simple option? - It's the hardest option of all.
0:14:22 > 0:14:27I can say that, cos I've done the other one as well, a lot.
0:14:27 > 0:14:32There's absolutely no question to me
0:14:32 > 0:14:35that writing fine children's books,
0:14:35 > 0:14:38as opposed to fine novels for adults,
0:14:38 > 0:14:42the children's book is far, far harder.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44It's not only harder, it's more important.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47If you want to, I'll tell you why I think that in a minute.
0:14:47 > 0:14:48CHAIR CREAKS It's harder
0:14:48 > 0:14:50and I think I can almost prove it
0:14:50 > 0:14:54because there is no writer of consequence in the world
0:14:54 > 0:14:58or has ever lived who hasn't had a go at a children's book,
0:14:58 > 0:15:02from Tolstoy to Graham Greene. Graham Greene's done four.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05He's our finest living novelist.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08He's done The Little Train,
0:15:08 > 0:15:11The Little...
0:15:11 > 0:15:12The Little Fire Engine...
0:15:12 > 0:15:15You're smiling! CHAIR CREAKS
0:15:15 > 0:15:18OK, because they didn't succeed.
0:15:18 > 0:15:23Nabokov, Saul Bellow, anyone you want to mention
0:15:23 > 0:15:25- has had a go at it. - How are we going to get
0:15:25 > 0:15:27- our children to read books again? - CHAIR CREAKS
0:15:27 > 0:15:29I have some difficulty with my children.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31I love to read and I read a great deal,
0:15:31 > 0:15:33but I'm of the radio generation.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35How are we going to persuade the television generation...?
0:15:35 > 0:15:38It is very, very difficult indeed.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41When I was young, there was not even any radio.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45When I was nine, I had a crystal set
0:15:45 > 0:15:47and you put the little thing on it with the earphones.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50There was no problem then. I agree with you, it is difficult.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Very, very difficult.
0:15:52 > 0:15:53So you don't draw from your own experience,
0:15:53 > 0:15:57but you've had a pretty colourful life, apart from your books -
0:15:57 > 0:16:00- you were in the RAF during the war. - Mm-hmm.
0:16:00 > 0:16:04- You crashed.- Mm-hmm.- And didn't I read that you were a spy?
0:16:06 > 0:16:10No, that's an ugly word, "spy"!
0:16:10 > 0:16:16I did, I worked for the British SIS, yes, the last half of the war
0:16:16 > 0:16:18when I was injured and couldn't fly.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Sure I did, yeah.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23I went to America and did it.
0:16:23 > 0:16:24I...
0:16:24 > 0:16:26I was very lucky
0:16:26 > 0:16:30because my first little book I wrote was called The Gremlins,
0:16:30 > 0:16:33which was bought by Walt Disney.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39Eleanor Roosevelt read it to her grandchildren...
0:16:39 > 0:16:41CHAIR CREAKS ..and loved this book,
0:16:41 > 0:16:43and so I got invited to the White House.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49We got to know each other a bit, you know, and I would go for weekends
0:16:49 > 0:16:54and FDR, his country place was called Hyde Park, a vast place,
0:16:54 > 0:16:56and I used to go there.
0:16:57 > 0:16:58Got to know him
0:16:58 > 0:17:04and I was only a young chap of 26 in an RAF uniform
0:17:04 > 0:17:07and had no business around there, really, but I was able...
0:17:08 > 0:17:12..because of meeting at Hyde Park and in the White House,
0:17:12 > 0:17:14there was half the Cabinet all the time...
0:17:14 > 0:17:16CHAIR CREAKS ..the Secretary of the Treasury,
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Henry Morgenthau and people like that,
0:17:18 > 0:17:23they were all there and my job was to try to help...
0:17:24 > 0:17:28..Winston Churchill to get on with FDR
0:17:28 > 0:17:34and tell Winston what was in the old boy's mind
0:17:34 > 0:17:35in America, you know.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38I was really not spying against the Americans.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40I was trying to create amity.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43This wasn't where your flair for fiction grew up, was it?
0:17:43 > 0:17:44LAUGHTER
0:17:44 > 0:17:47I couldn't muck about with that sort of thing.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50But it was incredible for a young chap
0:17:50 > 0:17:54to know those sort of people in those days.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56He was a terrific jokester, FDR.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58CHAIR CREAKS I'll tell you something,
0:17:58 > 0:18:00the sort of things he used to do.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02All of us would be sitting at lunch in Hyde Park
0:18:02 > 0:18:05with Princess Martha of Norway, who he adored.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07He had a sort of lech after her.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10AUDIENCE TITTERS There were about 20 people
0:18:10 > 0:18:13and they'd all be eating some white fish...
0:18:15 > 0:18:17CHAIR CREAKS ..and he'd point at me and he'd say
0:18:17 > 0:18:22"We've got a Britisher here. I'll tell you a story about the British."
0:18:22 > 0:18:24He was a great naval historian.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26He said, "In the War of Independence,
0:18:26 > 0:18:29"there was a British captain of a man-of-war
0:18:29 > 0:18:34"and he made his fellow officers swear that if he was ever killed,
0:18:34 > 0:18:37"his body would be shipped home for burial in England."
0:18:38 > 0:18:39CHAIR CREAKS
0:18:39 > 0:18:42"He was killed and the officers said,
0:18:42 > 0:18:45"'The only way we can get this old fella home
0:18:45 > 0:18:47"'is to put him in a barrel of rum
0:18:47 > 0:18:51"'and fill it and lash the barrel to the mast.'
0:18:51 > 0:18:52"'Right, good.'
0:18:54 > 0:18:57"The ship docked eight weeks later in Plymouth
0:18:57 > 0:19:00"and the relatives and the widow came on board..."
0:19:00 > 0:19:02FDR's telling this at lunch, you know.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06"They came on board and the great opening ceremony took place.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08"They took the top off the barrel.
0:19:08 > 0:19:09"Such a stench came out
0:19:09 > 0:19:14"that strong men rushed to the rail and leaned over.
0:19:14 > 0:19:19"Women fainted. The rats left the ship and swam!"
0:19:19 > 0:19:21What had happened... CHAIR CREAKS
0:19:21 > 0:19:23..as Franklin Roosevelt explained to all these women
0:19:23 > 0:19:26with the white fish in front of them was that, all the way over,
0:19:26 > 0:19:29the sailors had drilled a hole in the bottom of the barrel
0:19:29 > 0:19:31and put a bung in it and had been drinking the rum.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34When they were halfway over, they'd finished it all, you see.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39As the widow went down the gangway, staggered down the gangway,
0:19:39 > 0:19:42one of the sailors was heard to remark,
0:19:42 > 0:19:45"Finest drop of rum I ever tasted in my life."
0:19:45 > 0:19:47LAUGHTER
0:19:47 > 0:19:51The women pushed the fish away, FDR hooting with laughter, you see.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53- Nice. Nice sort of story, that. - Oh, yes, lovely(!)
0:19:53 > 0:19:55LAUGHTER
0:19:55 > 0:19:59- One of those horror stories which you have specialised in.- A tickler.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03Can you write children's stories and horror stories at the same time?
0:20:03 > 0:20:06Oh, no, I couldn't write two things together, ever, ever, ever.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10It's so much work trying to think of one, you know.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Plots.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14We're talking about children's stories. The horror stories -
0:20:14 > 0:20:18what's the art of frightening the life out of people?
0:20:18 > 0:20:21I don't try and frighten the life out of anybody.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24I don't write horror stories, I write funny stories.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29- No, I really do.- With strange, quirky twists at the end.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32But they're funny! I think they're funny, anyway.
0:20:32 > 0:20:39There's such a narrow line between the macabre and the jokes
0:20:39 > 0:20:41and laughter.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42It's a very... CHAIR CREAKS
0:20:42 > 0:20:46For example, if a woman who's deeply in love with a man
0:20:46 > 0:20:50and finds he's been doing nasty things with some other woman
0:20:50 > 0:20:53crowns him with a blunt instrument and kills him,
0:20:53 > 0:20:55that's tragedy, right? CHAIR CREAKS
0:20:55 > 0:20:56That's tragedy.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58If she happens to have a frozen leg of lamb in her hand
0:20:58 > 0:21:00and crowns him with that... AUDIENCE TITTERS
0:21:00 > 0:21:02..they begin to titter, you see?
0:21:02 > 0:21:05- LAUGHTER - Well, they are.- Yes.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Then if she takes the frozen leg of lamb, puts it in the oven, cooks it
0:21:07 > 0:21:11and feeds it to the detectives who are looking for the murder weapon,
0:21:11 > 0:21:13that's comic. LAUGHTER
0:21:13 > 0:21:16There's a very narrow line between the two.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18The fantastic Mr Dahl.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22Now someone whose life was touched by a classic children's story.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24It was Raymond Briggs's The Snowman
0:21:24 > 0:21:29and that thrust a young Aled Jones into the national spotlight.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32He's not walking on the air here.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Instead, perhaps appropriately for this programme,
0:21:35 > 0:21:37he's singing Yesterday.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41APPLAUSE
0:21:46 > 0:21:49# Yesterday
0:21:49 > 0:21:55# All my troubles seemed so far away
0:21:55 > 0:21:59# Now it looks as though they're here to stay
0:21:59 > 0:22:02# Oh, I believe
0:22:02 > 0:22:05# In yesterday
0:22:05 > 0:22:08# Suddenly
0:22:08 > 0:22:14# I'm not half the man I used to be
0:22:14 > 0:22:18# There's a shadow hanging over me
0:22:18 > 0:22:24# Oh, yesterday came suddenly
0:22:24 > 0:22:29# Why she had to go
0:22:29 > 0:22:35# I don't know, she wouldn't say
0:22:35 > 0:22:40# I said something wrong
0:22:40 > 0:22:47# Now I long for yesterday
0:22:47 > 0:22:50# Yesterday
0:22:50 > 0:22:56# Life was such an easy game to play
0:22:56 > 0:23:00# Now I need a place to hide away
0:23:00 > 0:23:03# Oh, I believe
0:23:03 > 0:23:07# In yesterday
0:23:07 > 0:23:12# Why she had to go
0:23:12 > 0:23:17# I don't know, she wouldn't say
0:23:17 > 0:23:23# I said something wrong
0:23:23 > 0:23:30# Now I long for yesterday
0:23:30 > 0:23:33# Yesterday
0:23:33 > 0:23:39# Love was such an easy game to play
0:23:39 > 0:23:43# Now I need a place to hide away
0:23:43 > 0:23:47# Oh, I believe
0:23:47 > 0:23:50# In yesterday
0:23:50 > 0:23:54# I believe
0:23:54 > 0:24:00# In yesterday. #
0:24:00 > 0:24:03APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:24:18 > 0:24:20- That's your accompanist Annette Parry.- Yes.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22- You've joined us from Anglesey.- Yes.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24That's a long journey, isn't it?
0:24:24 > 0:24:28That's a very romantic song for a little chap.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30Have you any girlfriends?
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Yes, hundreds.
0:24:32 > 0:24:33LAUGHTER Thousands.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37But, unfortunately, they're all over 60.
0:24:37 > 0:24:38- Over 16 or 60?- 60.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42Yes, I know the problem...too well.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44It's been the story of my life, as well, Aled.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48Do you get a lot of teasing in school about your voice?
0:24:48 > 0:24:52Oh, yes, frequently. Thy call me names from Jesus to Ave Maria.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Just last week one person called me Terry Wogan.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58- It was just... - A foul slur!- It was too much!
0:24:58 > 0:25:00What a terrible thing to say to a little boy!
0:25:00 > 0:25:02So what happened?
0:25:02 > 0:25:04- You thumped him, I hope.- Yes.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06I thought you had a slight mouse under the eye,
0:25:06 > 0:25:08- he obviously hit you back, as well. - Yes.
0:25:08 > 0:25:09So, what about the future?
0:25:09 > 0:25:13Your voice, they tell me, is about to break.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16Yes, well, there's no signs yet, I don't think.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18No, no, there isn't, cos you're singing beautifully,
0:25:18 > 0:25:20but when it does break what will happen?
0:25:20 > 0:25:23I mean, obviously you'll get a deep voice...
0:25:23 > 0:25:24LAUGHTER
0:25:24 > 0:25:26But I mean are you...?
0:25:26 > 0:25:28You can't go on singing then, can you?
0:25:28 > 0:25:30No, I'll have to wait for a couple of years.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33- Couple of years, and are you going to miss that?- Oh, yes.
0:25:33 > 0:25:34I'll have to play football more.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39Aled Jones back in '85,
0:25:39 > 0:25:44the year of one of the biggest music concerts in history, Live Aid.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47Bob Geldof was the visionary behind it,
0:25:47 > 0:25:50and the nerves, tension and excitement were very much apparent
0:25:50 > 0:25:52when he visited The Wogan Show
0:25:52 > 0:25:56the night before it was all due to kick off.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58How do you feel, nervous?
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Not really, it's sort of this continuous numbness.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03That's what I was saying,
0:26:03 > 0:26:05do you feel sort of no feeling left in the fingers?
0:26:05 > 0:26:08No, really, I'm used to sort of rising to the emotional moment.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10I just want to...
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Are they still going on?
0:26:12 > 0:26:15What I want to check out is if we're still on stage doing our sound check.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18We'll bring you across to Wembley to find out
0:26:18 > 0:26:19how everything's going as we go through.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21I think the best time will be
0:26:21 > 0:26:25when I'm actually on stage with the Rats for that 15 minutes.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27So you'll have the bonus of performing, as well?
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Yeah. That's one thing, I wouldn't wish to be anywhere else
0:26:29 > 0:26:31on the day except right on that stage.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Is there little thing in your head that keeps saying,
0:26:33 > 0:26:36"Calm down, don't panic," or are you calm by nature?
0:26:36 > 0:26:38No, I'm not calm by nature,
0:26:38 > 0:26:41but there are so many brilliant professionals involved,
0:26:41 > 0:26:44they sort of take it in hand and if they say
0:26:44 > 0:26:47they're going to do something, they get it done, it's frightening.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49There's not a little voice in the back of your head that's
0:26:49 > 0:26:51regretting starting all this?
0:26:51 > 0:26:54I know it's a tremendously good cause, but regretting
0:26:54 > 0:26:56you being upfront and carrying the can?
0:26:56 > 0:26:57I don't mind that
0:26:57 > 0:27:01because if you fail it's not from want of trying.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05And it's something that you have to try
0:27:05 > 0:27:09with really everything you've got to do.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12What can we expect tomorrow?
0:27:12 > 0:27:15As you said, so eloquently...
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Steady, Bob.
0:27:17 > 0:27:18..pop's greatest day.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21I think the Australians have just finished their 12 hours,
0:27:21 > 0:27:24so it'll be interesting to see how they've done,
0:27:24 > 0:27:27and I think it's that will be...
0:27:27 > 0:27:30wonderful, I think is the right word to use,
0:27:30 > 0:27:33and I think throughout the day the whole romance of the thing will
0:27:33 > 0:27:36finally hit home when the Russian bands come in,
0:27:36 > 0:27:38and you think of some kids in Siberia who may be getting drunk,
0:27:38 > 0:27:42having a party, watching us all here, and then Philadelphia. It's nice.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45Well, we can see the stadium from here.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47It looks suspiciously quiet, Bob.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Would you like to see a bit more activity going on there?
0:27:49 > 0:27:51Yes, where's the Rats? They're meant to be on stage!
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Maybe they're waiting for you.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55There are a lot of people out there already queueing up.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57One thing I must say, please, tomorrow,
0:27:57 > 0:27:59if you haven't got a ticket, don't go up there,
0:27:59 > 0:28:03don't buy anything from anybody outside the grounds.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06They're thieves and they're creeps. Don't buy anything.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09You know, bring something to make yourself comfortable.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12It's ten hours, relax, it'll be a good day.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14And, please, again, if someone offers you something
0:28:14 > 0:28:18outside the grounds - T-shirt, books, tickets - don't buy them,
0:28:18 > 0:28:20just go home and watch it for free on TV. That's important.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22I can see...
0:28:22 > 0:28:24APPLAUSE
0:28:29 > 0:28:31Is that the familiar face of Janice Long?
0:28:31 > 0:28:34And the equally familiar face of Francis Rossi on the right.
0:28:34 > 0:28:37- He looks the worse for drink, doesn't he?- Thanks a lot!
0:28:37 > 0:28:40- He was this afternoon, he's sobered up.- Has he sobered up?
0:28:40 > 0:28:42That's good, yes. Janice, how's it going?
0:28:42 > 0:28:45Things are going really well down here at Wembley.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48You've just missed Adam Ant sound checking.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50Before that The Boomtown Rats were sound checking,
0:28:50 > 0:28:53of course without Bob, because he's actually there with you,
0:28:53 > 0:28:56and one of the problems they've had this afternoon is
0:28:56 > 0:28:58they were making logos to go either side of the stage
0:28:58 > 0:29:00and, unfortunately, as they were painting them
0:29:00 > 0:29:03they stuck to the tarpaulin which is covering Wembley,
0:29:03 > 0:29:06so they're trying to sort of scrape them up off the ground
0:29:06 > 0:29:09- at the moment, and hopefully they will be hanging tomorrow. - Ah, the Irish paint makers.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11What are you going to start with?
0:29:11 > 0:29:13Er, the first number.
0:29:13 > 0:29:16LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:29:19 > 0:29:21Sorry about that. That was a good 'un, wasn't it?
0:29:21 > 0:29:24I's my own fault, really, for calling you drunk, isn't it?
0:29:24 > 0:29:26- What number are you going to play? - The opening number?
0:29:26 > 0:29:27Rockin' All Over The World.
0:29:27 > 0:29:29That's why we got thrown at the front,
0:29:29 > 0:29:31they said, "Good idea, bung them on," you know.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33- You coming, Tel? - I think it's a good idea.
0:29:33 > 0:29:35How much have you raised so far?
0:29:35 > 0:29:38- Out of what, from the record? - Yeah.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40From the record about eight million quid,
0:29:40 > 0:29:44and then all the Band Aid ideas around the world cumulatively
0:29:44 > 0:29:46is about 60 million,
0:29:46 > 0:29:50and then from stuff so far with the concert...
0:29:50 > 0:29:53It costs about 3.5 million to put on.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55That's even with everybody giving their services for free?
0:29:55 > 0:29:58Yes, because we're actually producing the show for the world,
0:29:58 > 0:30:01so the BBC is doing it for here, but for the rest of the world
0:30:01 > 0:30:03we have to put it on in Philadelphia,
0:30:03 > 0:30:05and the cost of that is...a lot.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08But we've paid for that from sponsorship,
0:30:08 > 0:30:10so any money that you send in tomorrow,
0:30:10 > 0:30:12which is the point of the whole thing,
0:30:12 > 0:30:15100% of it, again, will get out to Africa.
0:30:15 > 0:30:18In fact, if you're thinking of going out tonight, don't,
0:30:18 > 0:30:20keep the money in your pocket,
0:30:20 > 0:30:23and keep it in your sweaty little hands until tomorrow
0:30:23 > 0:30:26when we kick off, and go for it and enjoy yourselves.
0:30:26 > 0:30:28It seems appropriate to have some music now.
0:30:28 > 0:30:33Here's a song that played a big part in the first ever Sport Relief -
0:30:33 > 0:30:36then it was renamed Everybody Wants To Run The World -
0:30:36 > 0:30:40but this is the original from Tears For Fears.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42APPLAUSE
0:31:08 > 0:31:12# Welcome to your life
0:31:12 > 0:31:17# There's no turning back
0:31:17 > 0:31:21# Even while we sleep
0:31:21 > 0:31:23# We will find you
0:31:23 > 0:31:27# Acting on your best behaviour
0:31:27 > 0:31:32# Turn your back on mother nature
0:31:32 > 0:31:37# Everybody wants to rule the world
0:31:47 > 0:31:51# It's my own design
0:31:51 > 0:31:55# It's my own remorse
0:31:55 > 0:31:59# Help me to decide
0:31:59 > 0:32:01# Help me make the
0:32:01 > 0:32:06# Most of freedom and of pleasure
0:32:06 > 0:32:10# Nothing ever lasts forever
0:32:10 > 0:32:16# Everybody wants to rule the world
0:32:16 > 0:32:19# There's a room where the light won't find you
0:32:19 > 0:32:24# Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
0:32:24 > 0:32:27# When they do I'll be right behind you
0:32:27 > 0:32:31# So glad we've almost made it
0:32:31 > 0:32:36# So sad they had to fade it
0:32:36 > 0:32:42# Everybody wants to rule the world
0:33:28 > 0:33:32# I can't stand this indecision
0:33:32 > 0:33:36# Married with a lack of vision
0:33:36 > 0:33:40# Everybody wants to rule the
0:33:40 > 0:33:45# Say that you'll never, never, never, never need it
0:33:45 > 0:33:49# One headline, why believe it?
0:33:49 > 0:33:54# Everybody wants to rule the world
0:34:02 > 0:34:06# All for freedom and for pleasure
0:34:06 > 0:34:10# Nothing ever lasts forever
0:34:10 > 0:34:16# Everybody wants to rule the world. #
0:34:32 > 0:34:36We come now to an example of art imitating life.
0:34:36 > 0:34:39Here's the ever-bubbly Barbara Windsor
0:34:39 > 0:34:43discussing an impending marriage and a new job as,
0:34:43 > 0:34:47of all implausible things, a pub landlady.
0:34:47 > 0:34:50I wonder if any BBC drama producers were watching.
0:34:52 > 0:34:55APPLAUSE
0:35:03 > 0:35:06- I'm just checking on Barbara's English.- There you go.
0:35:06 > 0:35:09Now, last week, all over the papers again -
0:35:09 > 0:35:11engaged. Engaged again.
0:35:11 > 0:35:13I know, it's silly that, isn't it?
0:35:13 > 0:35:16Can I just say something? Today I became a landlady.
0:35:16 > 0:35:18- Did you?- Yes, I did. Isn't that terrific?
0:35:18 > 0:35:21- You look... - I've got my landlady frock on!
0:35:21 > 0:35:24- Yes, you look like a landlady. - My crystal shoulders.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26Oh, sorry about that.
0:35:26 > 0:35:29No, no, no. Don't change a thing. Don't change a thing.
0:35:29 > 0:35:32Yes, at 12:20 day I took over
0:35:32 > 0:35:36The Plough in Amersham, Buckinghamshire. Isn't that lovely?
0:35:36 > 0:35:39- So you've moved into the restaurant business?- That's right, although
0:35:39 > 0:35:41I haven't been there today to hand over the keys.
0:35:41 > 0:35:44I had to go up to Nottingham because I'm playing Aladdin.
0:35:44 > 0:35:47- I had to flash the thighs... - Of course, all that stuff, yes.
0:35:47 > 0:35:49And then I came down, cos you phoned up on Friday,
0:35:49 > 0:35:51or one of your lovely people phoned up,
0:35:51 > 0:35:53and said will I come on the show tonight,
0:35:53 > 0:35:56so I think I'll just about get there for last orders, won't I?
0:35:56 > 0:35:58Well, you'll avoid the rush.
0:35:58 > 0:36:01Mind you, they're all going there to see you, anyway.
0:36:01 > 0:36:02Well, I suppose so.
0:36:02 > 0:36:06You're going to marry Stephen eventually. The age difference...
0:36:06 > 0:36:07I know!
0:36:07 > 0:36:10- No, I don't mean that ungallantly. - It's lovely.
0:36:10 > 0:36:11I don't mean that ungallantly,
0:36:11 > 0:36:13but you don't envisage any problems?
0:36:13 > 0:36:16No, there's no problems, I know now.
0:36:16 > 0:36:20Yes. It worried all the lady columnists.
0:36:20 > 0:36:23One turned round and said, "Isn't it silly Barbara Windsor's going
0:36:23 > 0:36:25"to marry somebody young enough to be her son?
0:36:25 > 0:36:29"She should be thinking about getting a good night's sleep."
0:36:29 > 0:36:31Well, I thought that was a bloody nerve.
0:36:31 > 0:36:35- So do I.- I want to go and punch her, you know that, don't you?
0:36:35 > 0:36:36But I didn't.
0:36:36 > 0:36:39Do you think the fact that Joan Collins and people like that,
0:36:39 > 0:36:43or Alexis and Dex in Dynasty have made that kind of thing more acceptable now?
0:36:43 > 0:36:46- Much easier, lovely. It's still not accepted.- Isn't it?
0:36:46 > 0:36:49No, it's still all right for the geezers to do it, not the ladies.
0:36:49 > 0:36:51Yeah, it's true though, isn't it, ladies?
0:36:51 > 0:36:53- AUDIENCE:- Yes.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56Speak when you... Oh, you have been spoken to.
0:36:56 > 0:36:58With the way they rerun these Carry On things,
0:36:58 > 0:37:01when they can't rerun them they rerun snippets of it,
0:37:01 > 0:37:02do you get fed up of seeing yourself
0:37:02 > 0:37:05- half naked every week? - Well, of course!
0:37:05 > 0:37:07I mean, it's so hard.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10- I mean, I'm 48.- You're never!
0:37:10 > 0:37:12Yes, thank you, darling.
0:37:12 > 0:37:16And I keep seeing this fat little lady run around.
0:37:16 > 0:37:18I think, "Who is she?"
0:37:18 > 0:37:22I mean, it gets on our nerves a bit because we don't get paid.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24- You don't get paid for all this...? - No, and they've only
0:37:24 > 0:37:27got to pull the plug out for something. Like that marvellous
0:37:27 > 0:37:30scene, Deidre and Mike Baldwin, they pulled the plug out on that,
0:37:30 > 0:37:31there was a big strike,
0:37:31 > 0:37:34and they stuck one of those Carry On Laughings,
0:37:34 > 0:37:36so 18 million watching in one night.
0:37:36 > 0:37:38- And you don't get a penny?- No!
0:37:38 > 0:37:41We fought and carried on alarming, but it hasn't done any good.
0:37:41 > 0:37:43You made some good friends in the course of those films,
0:37:43 > 0:37:45Kenneth Williams was a great friend.
0:37:45 > 0:37:48But I was seeing in some book or other
0:37:48 > 0:37:50you actually took him on honeymoon with you?
0:37:50 > 0:37:52Well, no, I was going...
0:37:52 > 0:37:55It was my first Carry On film and we got on very well, Kenny and I,
0:37:55 > 0:37:59and I got married, and I said I was going on holiday
0:37:59 > 0:38:02and he said could he come with me,
0:38:02 > 0:38:04and I said OK, fine, that was all right.
0:38:04 > 0:38:07But he turned up with his mum, Lou, and Pat, his sister.
0:38:07 > 0:38:08LAUGHTER
0:38:08 > 0:38:11We had murders. Oh, we rowed all the time, Kenny and me.
0:38:11 > 0:38:14- Five on the honeymoon?- Yeah, which is good, it's all right these days.
0:38:14 > 0:38:16In those days it wasn't such a good thing.
0:38:16 > 0:38:19But he's wonderful, and I love... They were all marvellous.
0:38:19 > 0:38:23It was just by going back to school doing the films, you know.
0:38:23 > 0:38:25You'd do five weeks and then finish,
0:38:25 > 0:38:28and then go back again and do another one.
0:38:28 > 0:38:30It was terrific. I love those people.
0:38:30 > 0:38:33- We have Maureen Lipman coming on in a little moment...- Lovely lady.
0:38:33 > 0:38:36- ..to talk about EastEnders. You're an EastEnder yourself.- Yes.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38What, as a matter of interest, do you think of EastEnders?
0:38:38 > 0:38:41- Do you watch it? - Oh, terrific, absolutely ace.
0:38:41 > 0:38:42Isn't it the most wonderful programme?
0:38:42 > 0:38:45- AUDIENCE:- Yes. - Do you think it's true to life?
0:38:45 > 0:38:48It is, and I understand what Mary Whitehouse says,
0:38:48 > 0:38:51but there you go, you've got to switch off, you know.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54I think it's terrific. I mean, I started off looking
0:38:54 > 0:38:57at that programme and thinking, "No, this isn't right,"
0:38:57 > 0:39:00but I was comparing it to the wonderful Coronation Street.
0:39:00 > 0:39:03But suddenly, four weeks later, I loved all those characters
0:39:03 > 0:39:08and, by God, there is a bar lady like that lady and...
0:39:08 > 0:39:10Could they make a soap opera of your life, do you think?
0:39:10 > 0:39:13I think they could. Only in the last few years, darling,
0:39:13 > 0:39:15only in the last few years.
0:39:15 > 0:39:17Before that you were a very quiet, unspoiled girl?
0:39:17 > 0:39:20Yeah, well, I was, you knew me. Yes, I was.
0:39:20 > 0:39:22LAUGHTER
0:39:22 > 0:39:25Now it's all... I have changed, I'm quieter now, as well.
0:39:25 > 0:39:28Listen, we won't keep you from the grand opening of the restaurant.
0:39:28 > 0:39:30Do you think I'll get there for the last orders?
0:39:30 > 0:39:32You might get there in time for the pudding.
0:39:32 > 0:39:34Yeah, well, thank you for letting me come on
0:39:34 > 0:39:37- and give it a little plug, bless you. - Thank you, darling.- God bless.
0:39:37 > 0:39:40APPLAUSE
0:39:44 > 0:39:47Finally, a man who seems to have been on our screens
0:39:47 > 0:39:49since television was invented.
0:39:49 > 0:39:51Singer, dancer, showman -
0:39:51 > 0:39:53well, we tried to book all of them
0:39:53 > 0:39:56but somehow ended up with Bruce Forsyth,
0:39:56 > 0:39:59here in musical mode.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02BAND STRIKES UP
0:40:07 > 0:40:12# I'll be down to get you in a taxi, Honey... #
0:40:13 > 0:40:15BAND DOESN'T PLAY
0:40:17 > 0:40:21# You'd better be ready 'bout a half past eight... #
0:40:21 > 0:40:23BAND DOESN'T PLAY
0:40:25 > 0:40:26Bit louder. LAUGHTER
0:40:27 > 0:40:31# Oh, dearie, don't be late... #
0:40:31 > 0:40:33That's perfect.
0:40:33 > 0:40:36# I want to be there when the band starts playing... #
0:40:36 > 0:40:37BAND PLAYS # Firefly
0:40:37 > 0:40:39# Cos, oh, my,
0:40:39 > 0:40:41# She radiates moon glow
0:40:41 > 0:40:42# Wants none of that new glow
0:40:42 > 0:40:46# She starts to glitter when the sun goes down, about 8pm
0:40:46 > 0:40:48# It's mayhem
0:40:48 > 0:40:50# She switches the brights up
0:40:50 > 0:40:52# Lights up and gives me a call
0:40:52 > 0:40:54# Take me to the Firefly Ball
0:40:54 > 0:40:56# And when I get her there, set her there
0:40:56 > 0:40:58# Do I get to pet her there
0:40:58 > 0:40:59# And grab me some glow?
0:40:59 > 0:41:02# No, she's the gadabout, mad about, luring every lad about
0:41:02 > 0:41:04# While leaving me moaning low
0:41:04 > 0:41:06# The Firefly
0:41:06 > 0:41:08# Why can't I latch onto you, know-how?
0:41:08 > 0:41:11# Oh, how I love you but, gee
0:41:11 > 0:41:13# Why do you set the night on firefly?
0:41:13 > 0:41:15# Turn a little light on me... #
0:41:20 > 0:41:25HE SCATS
0:41:34 > 0:41:36# And when I get her there, set her there
0:41:36 > 0:41:37# Do I get to pet her there
0:41:37 > 0:41:38# And grab me some glow?
0:41:38 > 0:41:42# No, she's a gadabout, mad about luring every lad about
0:41:42 > 0:41:45# While leaving me moaning low
0:41:45 > 0:41:48# Oh, Firefly
0:41:48 > 0:41:54# Why can't I latch onto you, know-how?
0:41:54 > 0:41:56# Oh, how I love you but, gee
0:41:56 > 0:41:59# Why do you set the night on firefly?
0:41:59 > 0:42:02# Shine a little light on, shine a little on
0:42:02 > 0:42:05# Shine a little light on me.
0:42:06 > 0:42:09# Every evening when the sun goes down. #
0:42:09 > 0:42:11APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:42:21 > 0:42:23- Wonderful, wonderful, Bruce. - One more time?
0:42:23 > 0:42:25One more time, and with you!
0:42:25 > 0:42:27- Hunk Wogan!- That's me.
0:42:27 > 0:42:31OK. All right, we'll just do the last bit.
0:42:31 > 0:42:34- Join me, join me. - I'm ready for this.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37# While leaving her moaning low
0:42:37 > 0:42:39# Oh, firefly
0:42:39 > 0:42:41# Why can't I...?
0:42:46 > 0:42:47# Oh, how... #
0:42:47 > 0:42:48Green shoes!
0:42:50 > 0:42:53# Why do you set the night on firefly?
0:42:53 > 0:42:55# Shine a little light on, shine a little light on
0:42:55 > 0:42:59# Shine a little light on me
0:42:59 > 0:43:01# Every evening when the sun goes down. #
0:43:02 > 0:43:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:43:06 > 0:43:08Look at that!
0:43:16 > 0:43:17Parkinson wouldn't have done that!
0:43:17 > 0:43:21He'd never have had the nerve to get up here with you, either!
0:43:21 > 0:43:24That was marvellous! Snake hips Wogan.
0:43:24 > 0:43:27Ladies and gentlemen, whoever he was, Bruce Forsyth.
0:43:27 > 0:43:30- Thank you. - APPLAUSE
0:43:32 > 0:43:36I was pretty good there, don't you think? Born to dance.
0:43:36 > 0:43:40Well, time for me to go and dream of what might have been.
0:43:40 > 0:43:43But, as Arnold says, I'll be back,
0:43:43 > 0:43:46so join me for more memories next time.