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0:00:25 > 0:00:29- I'm a person who's had - rich and varied life experiences.
0:00:32 > 0:00:37- I have many wounds and scars - but I'm not bitter.
0:00:39 > 0:00:43- I have personal experience - of the darkest side of life...
0:00:44 > 0:00:49- ..but also believe that I've stepped - out of the darkness into the light.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57- This is Simon Cavendish.
0:00:57 > 0:01:02- He was born in Poland in the 1950s.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05- This programme - follows Simon's journey.
0:01:05 > 0:01:10- However, it isn't a series of dates - and geographical crossroads.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13- It's the story - of an emotional journey...
0:01:13 > 0:01:16- ..from his violent upbringing - in communist Poland...
0:01:17 > 0:01:21- ..to his enlightened resurrection - in Wales.
0:01:22 > 0:01:26- Here's a new insight - into Simon Cavendish.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34- Wales has adopted me.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37- This is my adopted nation.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40- I'm so lucky - to have found another home...
0:01:40 > 0:01:42- ..and that Wales is my home.
0:01:43 > 0:01:48- Simon was born into a poor family - in Bydgoszcz, Poland.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51- He shared a bedroom - with his brother and parents...
0:01:52 > 0:01:55- ..and shared a bathroom - with strangers.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- Home life - paled into insignificance...
0:01:58 > 0:02:01- ..after a life-changing experience - for Simon.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04- At the age of four, - I lost my sight...
0:02:04 > 0:02:09- ..after suffering an autoimmune - disorder called Still's Disease.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13- When I was six years old...
0:02:14 > 0:02:17- ..a woman barged into our flat...
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- ..almost breaking down the door.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23- She ordered my parents...
0:02:23 > 0:02:29- ..to send me to an institution - specifically for blind children.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31- During that era in Poland...
0:02:32 > 0:02:35- ..the only career prospects - for blind people...
0:02:35 > 0:02:40- ..was in a factory, run exclusively - by the blind, making brushes.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44- Simon was intelligent - and determined to avoid this fate.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47- Against his parents' wishes...
0:02:47 > 0:02:51- ..he attended mainstream school - with other children.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54- His aim was to go to university - and study English.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59- Thanks to supportive teachers - and Simon's determination...
0:02:59 > 0:03:02- ..he was able to realize his dream.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05- I took notes in Braille...
0:03:05 > 0:03:09- ..but also had to learn - to use a typewriter...
0:03:09 > 0:03:14- ..in order to hand in - printed versions of my coursework...
0:03:14 > 0:03:18- ..in a format that my teachers - and tutors could understand.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22- Simon's hard work paid off.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27- After graduation, he was appointed - to a position at the university.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30- Despite academic success...
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- ..he had a volatile relationship - with his parents.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36- His father was an alcoholic - and violent to his family.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40- My childhood memories...
0:03:40 > 0:03:44- ..revolve around a life of violence, - obscenity and immorality.
0:03:45 > 0:03:50- I think my parents were embarrassed - to have a blind child.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54- It attracted unwanted attention - from religious people.
0:03:54 > 0:04:00- People would openly show pity - all of the time.
0:04:00 > 0:04:06- We were sent to sites - of religious healing.
0:04:07 > 0:04:12- However, I wasn't healed - and felt that God had abandoned me.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17- There's a common belief - within the Catholic community...
0:04:17 > 0:04:20- ..which stems from the Bible.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- They suggest - that the sins of the parents...
0:04:23 > 0:04:28- ..are reflected or punished - in the next generation.
0:04:30 > 0:04:35- As a child, I grew up believing that - there was something wrong with me.
0:04:36 > 0:04:37- I believed that God...
0:04:37 > 0:04:41- ..who was almighty and one - to whom mankind could turn...
0:04:42 > 0:04:43- ..had abandoned me.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- All this created - an isolated existence.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- However Simon was successful - in his profession.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55- During the time he worked - at Poznan university...
0:04:56 > 0:05:01- ..Simon met someone who introduced - him to an unexpected world...
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- ..that would change - his life forever.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09- I met a person from Oxford...
0:05:09 > 0:05:14- ..who had studied - Medieval and Ancient Welsh.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18- This was my first introduction...
0:05:18 > 0:05:22- ..to the sound and - pronunciation of the Welsh language.
0:05:22 > 0:05:28- I also encountered Welsh - when Brith Gof theatre company...
0:05:28 > 0:05:31- ..went on tour in Poland.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37- For the first time...
0:05:37 > 0:05:41- ..I had the opportunity - to hear and listen...
0:05:42 > 0:05:46- ..and be astonished - by the sound of the language.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52- Simon was fascinated - and wanted to know more.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56- After making enquiries in Oxford...
0:05:56 > 0:06:00- ..Simon was directed from Poznan - to Carmarthen and Rhian Evans.
0:06:00 > 0:06:06- She's blind and works tirelessly for - the Society For The Blind in Wales.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10- At first, - I sent him a few sentences on tape.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12- I soon realized...
0:06:12 > 0:06:16- ..that he was able - to grasp the language...
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- ..as his pronunciation - was wonderful.
0:06:19 > 0:06:24- I also sent him - a few items in Braille.
0:06:24 > 0:06:29- My Braille wasn't very good - at the time but it has improved...
0:06:29 > 0:06:33- ..but I was eager to send him - features in Braille.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37- I would often send him - copies of radio programmes...
0:06:37 > 0:06:42- ..with a list of vocabulary - on the tape...
0:06:42 > 0:06:46- ..as he didn't have a dictionary - at the time.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49- Learning to speak Welsh - wasn't enough for Simon.
0:06:50 > 0:06:51- With Rhian's help...
0:06:51 > 0:06:55- ..he was awarded a fellowship to - study Welsh at Lampeter University.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59- It's quite an achievement - for anyone who learns Welsh...
0:06:59 > 0:07:02- ..an even greater feat - for one who is blind.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06- It was a thrill - yet terrifying at the same time.
0:07:06 > 0:07:12- I remember the start of term - in October and my first lectures.
0:07:12 > 0:07:18- I'd been left alone in Lampeter - in the hall of residence.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21- I think I cried for about a week.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26- I had doubts about managing to live - there as a blind person.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31- When anyone moves to a new place...
0:07:32 > 0:07:35- ..he has to make progress - step by step...
0:07:35 > 0:07:38- ..in order to live independently.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42- I couldn't ask people - to take care of me...
0:07:42 > 0:07:46- ..cook for me or take me to places - around Lampeter.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- I wanted to be independent, - slowly but surely.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53- I asked people for directions...
0:07:53 > 0:07:58- ..to the Post Office, to - the butcher's shop and other shops.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00- It was a real struggle, - I must admit.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04- I was overcome with fear - for quite a while.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09- I remember crying - on a friend's shoulder.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14- He took me away from Lampeter - to give me some space.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- This helped me to calm down.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19- When I returned...
0:08:19 > 0:08:24- ..I hoped to find the strength and - confidence to carry on with my life.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30- How will Simon cope?
0:08:30 > 0:08:33- Will Lampeter - get the better of him?
0:08:34 > 0:08:36- Or can Simon settle in Wales?
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0:08:49 > 0:08:53- Simon Cavendish had a - difficult upbringing in Poland...
0:08:53 > 0:08:56- ..but had a successful - academic career.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59- After he discovered - the Welsh language at Poznan...
0:09:00 > 0:09:03- ..he earned a fellowship - to study Welsh at Lampeter.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06- Despite faltering at first, - he succeeded...
0:09:06 > 0:09:11- ..as a result of his friends' - support and his own determination.
0:09:11 > 0:09:16- He remained at the university to - research and gain a master's degree.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- The title of the thesis...
0:09:19 > 0:09:23- ..was The Philosophical Foundations - Of Saunders Lewis's Work.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27- It was remarkable - that he wrote a research essay...
0:09:27 > 0:09:31- ..based on the plays of Saunders - Lewis in the Welsh language.
0:09:31 > 0:09:37- Many of our readers from the Welsh - Cassette Scheme assisted him...
0:09:37 > 0:09:40- ..by reading his essay - and proofreading drafts.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45- It was very difficult for a blind - person to study at university.
0:09:46 > 0:09:51- I guess he's the only one - to graduate from Lampeter...
0:09:51 > 0:09:55- ..and he's definitely the only one - to have a master's degree.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59- I managed to study...
0:09:59 > 0:10:03- ..thanks to my faith and courage.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07- I couldn't answer those people...
0:10:07 > 0:10:13- ..who asked how it was possible - for a blind person to do a degree...
0:10:14 > 0:10:18- ..in the Welsh language - when nothing existed in Braille.
0:10:18 > 0:10:23- He recorded his lectures - and transferred them to Braille.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- The process took hours.
0:10:27 > 0:10:32- On top of everything, - I received my first ever computer.
0:10:32 > 0:10:36- The computer had speech synthetic...
0:10:36 > 0:10:41- ..but that software did not - recognize the Welsh language.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47- I had to write - my 60,000 word essay...
0:10:48 > 0:10:50- ..a page at a time.
0:10:50 > 0:10:55- However, as I wrote it, I wasn't - able to read it back to review it...
0:10:55 > 0:10:58- ..unless I spelt it out - letter by letter.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01- I'd write sections of the essay...
0:11:02 > 0:11:06- ..and take it to my Welsh-speaking - friend at Aberystwyth...
0:11:06 > 0:11:09- ..who had volunteered - to read through my work.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13- I was delighted - when I finished the work...
0:11:13 > 0:11:17- ..and heard that my work - was of a high standard.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21- I hadn't wasted - the time and effort...
0:11:21 > 0:11:26- ..of the volunteers - who had been willing to assist me...
0:11:26 > 0:11:28- ..a stranger from Poland.
0:11:29 > 0:11:33- He absorbed the information - and learnt the language.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37- He was like a piece - of blotting paper.
0:11:37 > 0:11:42- He took to the language and adopted - the Welsh way of life so easily...
0:11:42 > 0:11:44- ..it was truly remarkable.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51- Simon was so immersed in our culture - that he didn't want to go home.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54- Wales was now his home.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58- He applied to the Home Office - for citizenship.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01- This process took five years.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07- After he left college, - he faced a new challenge.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12- I faced - the reality of everyday life.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16- A life where man - has to earn a living.
0:12:16 > 0:12:22- I decided to train as a masseur.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27- When I was 19 years old...
0:12:27 > 0:12:32- ..I had the opportunity to study - remedial massage in Poland.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35- However, I refused to do it.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38- I didn't want the same career path - as other blind people.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41- I wanted - to lead a meaningful life...
0:12:41 > 0:12:45- ..comparable to that of people - without a disability.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- However, I've established myself - as a masseur.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52- Gradually, - I've built a list of clients...
0:12:53 > 0:12:56- ..who have benefited from treatment.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00- As well as the massage business, - in 1995 or 1996...
0:13:00 > 0:13:03- ..I was approached - by the RNIB Wales.
0:13:04 > 0:13:09- They wanted someone to proofread - some books in Welsh Braille.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15- Since the early 1990s, - the RNIB in Cardiff...
0:13:15 > 0:13:20- ..has published a selection - of books in Welsh Braille.
0:13:20 > 0:13:25- Before the 1990s, there wasn't - a revised code for Welsh Braille.
0:13:25 > 0:13:30- In the early 1990s, a group of us - revised Welsh Braille...
0:13:30 > 0:13:34- ..to make it more suitable - for modern Welsh.
0:13:34 > 0:13:40- Since then, the RNIB - has published books for all ages...
0:13:40 > 0:13:43- ..for children, - young people and adults.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47- Simon has assisted us - by proofreading the work.
0:13:47 > 0:13:52- His ability to read Braille quickly - has been invaluable to us.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- Proofreading is essential - before a book is published.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01- The work - brought a new dimension to my life.
0:14:01 > 0:14:06- It meant that my studies of the - Welsh language had not been in vain.
0:14:06 > 0:14:11- I was able to contribute - to the survival of the language...
0:14:11 > 0:14:14- ..the existence - of the Welsh language.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18- It showed that I could work - through the medium of Welsh.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23- As part of the development - of the Welsh language...
0:14:24 > 0:14:28- ..there's Welsh Braille, - as well as English Braille.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32- In the 1920s, Reverend Puleston - Jones, a blind minister...
0:14:32 > 0:14:36- ..formed the Welsh Braille code.
0:14:36 > 0:14:42- In order to denote - the Welsh letter - "dd"...
0:14:43 > 0:14:49- ..he would use the English Braille - symbol for "the".
0:14:49 > 0:14:53- I felt that this - showed disrespect for the language.
0:14:54 > 0:14:59- Many teachers - of blind children agreed...
0:14:59 > 0:15:02- ..that Welsh Braille - needed to be revised.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06- At the start of the 1990s...
0:15:06 > 0:15:10- ..we wrote two Ds - for the letter "dd"...
0:15:10 > 0:15:13- ..as well as other changes.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15- That's just one example.
0:15:15 > 0:15:21- I think this works much better - and shows respect for the language.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24- Simon was invited - to make a presentation...
0:15:25 > 0:15:28- ..to the Senedd in Cardiff - about disability in Wales.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32- Since the 1995 - Disability Discrimination Act...
0:15:33 > 0:15:38- ..Simon advises private and public - organizations on how to apply it.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40- There has been a call for change.
0:15:41 > 0:15:46- The 1995 Act was replaced - by the Equality Act this year.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50- All discriminatory acts - have been linked...
0:15:51 > 0:15:56- ..to form an inclusive Equality Act.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00- This has transformed - our society forever.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05- It has allowed the disabled - to live independent lives...
0:16:05 > 0:16:10- ..and find their place - within the employment structure.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15- It means they can earn money - and fund themselves...
0:16:15 > 0:16:19- ..as opposed to relying on benefits.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28- Simon advises employers - and public organizations...
0:16:28 > 0:16:31- ..on the implications of the Act.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35- Could anyone - be better placed for this role?
0:16:35 > 0:16:38- I speak to - various groups of people...
0:16:39 > 0:16:42- ..giving them an insight - into a disabled person's daily life.
0:16:43 > 0:16:48- I reveal the day-to-day difficulties - that they face.
0:16:49 > 0:16:55- This shows what they can do - to adapt an area for the disabled...
0:16:55 > 0:16:57- ..and how they can offer assistance.
0:16:58 > 0:17:04- I see myself also as someone - who breaks down the barriers...
0:17:04 > 0:17:08- ..between the disabled - and those without any disability.
0:17:09 > 0:17:14- Although we have lived side by side, - I feel we've led separate lives.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17- These two groups - don't understand each other.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22- Many emotions exist - between these two groups.
0:17:22 > 0:17:27- Able-bodied people are unsure - of how to approach the disabled...
0:17:27 > 0:17:33- ..and the disabled have often - been vilified and can feel bitter.
0:17:33 > 0:17:37- They often feel that they - were wronged in their lives.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41- It is my aim to build bridges - between the two groups.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44- Disabled people - can be bitter or resentful.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48- What are Simon's feelings - about his loss of sight?
0:17:48 > 0:17:51- I've spent all of my life...
0:17:51 > 0:17:56- ..asking the same question - and searching for an answer.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00- In their youth, a person - doesn't want to be different.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07- If I had the gift of sight...
0:18:08 > 0:18:11- ..I could have been - a different person...
0:18:12 > 0:18:15- ..and enjoyed - different opportunities...
0:18:15 > 0:18:19- ..and gone further in life.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25- I went through phases...
0:18:26 > 0:18:31- ..where I suffered - from extreme depression...
0:18:31 > 0:18:36- ..due to the fact - that my life was so restricted.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39- I don't think...
0:18:39 > 0:18:43- ..that my blindness - was the main cause.
0:18:43 > 0:18:48- The frustrations and obstacles - it posed in my life...
0:18:49 > 0:18:55- ..enraged me and - was a root cause of my depression.
0:19:00 > 0:19:05- I've been pushed to my limits - and forced to ask questions.
0:19:05 > 0:19:10- These were not basic questions - about the meaning of life...
0:19:10 > 0:19:14- ..or what it means to be a man...
0:19:14 > 0:19:19- ..but deeply spiritual questions - about the true nature of God.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27- What does it mean to belong? - What is identity?
0:19:28 > 0:19:31- What is the self?
0:19:33 > 0:19:38- Simon asked and still asks profound - questions about the meaning of life.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41- After gaining the right - to stay in Wales...
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- ..he chose to reinvent himself - by changing his name.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51- My Polish name - was Swahamir Sabanski.
0:19:51 > 0:19:56- I encountered practical problems, - especially with English people...
0:19:56 > 0:20:02- ..they couldn't pronounce my name - so it was a constant grievance.
0:20:06 > 0:20:11- I was born and raised - amid atrocities...
0:20:12 > 0:20:15- ..suffering horrors at first hand - in my life.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19- I lived through the tragedies - of the lives of others...
0:20:19 > 0:20:25- ..and experienced - so much violence and harshness.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29- As well as all this...
0:20:29 > 0:20:31- ..my name...
0:20:31 > 0:20:36- ..had been passed from desk to desk - at the Home Office for many years...
0:20:36 > 0:20:39- ..so I was eager for a fresh start.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47- I don't want to defy or blame anyone - or preach about identity...
0:20:47 > 0:20:50- ..but it was a personal challenge.
0:20:50 > 0:20:54- I wanted to live as I am, - from the depths of my personality...
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- ..and not be labelled.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02- I've come to Wales - and live as a Welshman.
0:21:03 > 0:21:08- He's given so much - to Wales and Welsh life.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12- His story is very encouraging - to Welsh learners...
0:21:12 > 0:21:16- ..and is inspiring for anyone - who wants to learn Welsh.
0:21:17 > 0:21:22- He has also studied and trained - in order to assist others.
0:21:23 > 0:21:27- Some of his clients - have approached me...
0:21:27 > 0:21:31- ..and said - that he's been a great help.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34- He is able to empathize with others.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38- If you have encountered - suffering yourself...
0:21:39 > 0:21:43- ..it's easier to understand - and have empathy for others.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48- It's been a long journey...
0:21:48 > 0:21:53- ..and the boy from Poland - is now a Welshman.
0:21:55 > 0:22:00- Wales has adopted me. - This is my adopted nation.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04- I had a dream in my childhood...
0:22:05 > 0:22:09- ..when my circumstances at home - were quite horrific.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12- Whenever the time came - for me to go home...
0:22:12 > 0:22:16- ..it was a truly stomach-churning - feeling.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19- As a result, - I fabricated my own dream.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23- I dreamt that I didn't live - with my real family...
0:22:24 > 0:22:26- ..but that I was an orphan.
0:22:26 > 0:22:31- One day, - someone would come and save me.
0:22:32 > 0:22:36- As it turns out, - I had to save myself.
0:22:37 > 0:22:42- However, I'm delighted - that I've found a new home...
0:22:42 > 0:22:45- ..and that Wales is my home.
0:22:46 > 0:22:47- .
0:22:47 > 0:22:50- Further information - of helplines and resources...
0:22:51 > 0:22:55- ..for the blind or partially - sighted is available on the website.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58- www.s4c.co.uk/help
0:22:58 > 0:22:59- .
0:23:16 > 0:23:19- S4C subtitles by Tinopolis
0:23:19 > 0:23:20- .