O'r Galon: Mared

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0:00:28 > 0:00:32- It's been a gradual deterioration.

0:00:33 > 0:00:37- It's something the entire family - has had to come to terms with.

0:00:42 > 0:00:44- The best way I can describe it...

0:00:45 > 0:00:47- ..is when you tune a television...

0:00:47 > 0:00:51- ..you can still see - the picture and the colour...

0:00:51 > 0:00:55- ..but there are black and white - pixels moving around...

0:00:56 > 0:00:57- ..on top of the picture...

0:01:01 > 0:01:05- ..with a black block - cut out of the middle...

0:01:06 > 0:01:09- ..and flashing lights.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21- Banana.

0:01:21 > 0:01:26- Banana, apple, vanilla, wheatgerm...

0:01:26 > 0:01:31- I remember the doctor telling me - she had Stargardt disease.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34- She was about nine years old.

0:01:36 > 0:01:38- When I was around 11...

0:01:39 > 0:01:41- ..I had a growth spurt.

0:01:41 > 0:01:45- It caused my right eye - to deteriorate so much...

0:01:45 > 0:01:48- ..I had the eyesight - of an 80-year-old.

0:01:48 > 0:01:53- They put that in - to create a glass recording studio.

0:01:53 > 0:01:59- Mared has always been - a very creative person.

0:01:59 > 0:02:03- Because of her condition, - we were always keen for her...

0:02:04 > 0:02:07- ..to have experiences - like going to the theatre.

0:02:07 > 0:02:10- We made sure - we had seats in the front row.

0:02:11 > 0:02:15- I remember - sitting in your front room...

0:02:16 > 0:02:20- ..and you turned to me and said, - "I can't see you clearly, Nain."

0:02:21 > 0:02:23- I was sitting this close to you.

0:02:23 > 0:02:27- You said, "I can't see - the television clearly either."

0:02:27 > 0:02:31- I said, "It's because - you sit so close to the screen.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34- "I don't like you - sitting that close."

0:02:35 > 0:02:38- I realized later on...

0:02:38 > 0:02:42- ..that you had to sit closer to it, - like I have to do now.

0:02:42 > 0:02:44- I'm almost on top of it.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47- She's so capable - and she's so clever.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50- She's very switched on.

0:02:50 > 0:02:53- She's far from being dumb.

0:02:53 > 0:02:58- When it's one small thing of - not being able to see very well...

0:03:01 > 0:03:03- ..it's just such a pity.

0:03:14 > 0:03:18- She's just Mared. I don't think - of her as someone who can't see.

0:03:20 > 0:03:24- I just have to deal with it...

0:03:25 > 0:03:28- ..just as she has to deal with it.

0:03:28 > 0:03:32- You're part of my life now. - We just get on with it.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35- It's not something - we talk about, anyway, is it?

0:03:37 > 0:03:39- It's not something I think about.

0:03:39 > 0:03:42- If I don't think about it, - then neither do you.

0:03:45 > 0:03:49- There's a part of my brain which - remembers seeing things clearly.

0:03:50 > 0:03:52- I remember a picture...

0:03:52 > 0:03:56- ..and suddenly I can see it.

0:03:56 > 0:03:59- It's odd walking into a room...

0:03:59 > 0:04:03- ..not knowing who's in there, - hearing them speak...

0:04:03 > 0:04:05- ..recognizing the voice...

0:04:05 > 0:04:09- ..and then being able to picture - the person in my mind...

0:04:09 > 0:04:13- ..and suddenly I'm almost able - to see the person...

0:04:13 > 0:04:16- ..because I remember the face.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19- Six months earlier

0:04:31 > 0:04:34- This is where I'll be going - in a week's time.

0:04:37 > 0:04:42- I'm excited. I just want to - be there now. I'm fed up of waiting.

0:04:42 > 0:04:46- I've been wanting to leave home - for such a long time...

0:04:47 > 0:04:53- ..but now I've left, I can't wait - to go home for Sunday lunch already!

0:04:56 > 0:04:58- I try not to let it...

0:04:58 > 0:05:01- ..make me too emotional...

0:05:01 > 0:05:04- ..and I have to think to myself...

0:05:04 > 0:05:07- ..'Hold on a minute now. - She's not that bad.'

0:05:10 > 0:05:13- But deep down in my heart - it does worry me.

0:05:16 > 0:05:21- She knows to ask someone if she's - unsure if she's on the right bus.

0:05:21 > 0:05:24- Once she said to a bus driver...

0:05:24 > 0:05:28- .."Excuse me, - does this go into town?"

0:05:28 > 0:05:30- And he looked at her and he said...

0:05:31 > 0:05:34- "What does it say - on the front of the bus, love?

0:05:35 > 0:05:38- "Go out, have a little look - and you'll know."

0:05:45 > 0:05:47- I don't want to appear disabled.

0:05:47 > 0:05:51- I don't want to be judged - because of it.

0:05:51 > 0:05:56- I don't carry a stick, I don't have - glasses, I don't have a guide dog.

0:05:56 > 0:05:58- I couldn't deal with that.

0:05:59 > 0:06:03- I think it's important - that people judge me for me...

0:06:04 > 0:06:08- ..before finding out that I can't - see instead of the other way around.

0:06:09 > 0:06:12- She got off the bus...

0:06:12 > 0:06:15- ..and caught the next one - but it was the wrong one.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18- This happened - when she was about 14 or 15.

0:06:19 > 0:06:24- I hope she won't encounter problems - like that again. It worries me.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33- I love Cardiff as a city.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36- Everything I need is here.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39- If I live alone...

0:06:40 > 0:06:45- ..I'll see areas of Cardiff and - a side to it I've never seen before.

0:06:46 > 0:06:50- It'll become a new city to me - because I have to be independent...

0:06:50 > 0:06:54- ..and live here instead of - just being brought up here.

0:07:30 > 0:07:34- I'm on my way to the School - of Optometry, which is nearby.

0:07:43 > 0:07:48- I hope when I arrive that - Megan and Angharad will be there.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50- I went to school with them both.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53- They're also doing - the same course as me.

0:07:57 > 0:08:01- Basically, we're learning - to be coaches ourselves.

0:08:01 > 0:08:03- We'll be the first group...

0:08:04 > 0:08:07- ..where children - with visual impairment...

0:08:07 > 0:08:11- ..or young people with visual - impairment are concerned...

0:08:12 > 0:08:16- ..will be taught how to coach - children with visual impairment.

0:08:16 > 0:08:20- You don't know how that feels - because you're still there.

0:08:21 > 0:08:25- I think it's nice - that there are quite a lot of us...

0:08:26 > 0:08:29- ..with visual impairment - in close contact.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33- Let's be a robot.

0:08:34 > 0:08:35- Yes, let's.

0:08:37 > 0:08:41- You're a good robot. That's good.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46- OK, let's be ballerinas.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48- Yes, let's!

0:08:53 > 0:08:57- UCan is a theatre company - for children and young people...

0:08:57 > 0:09:00- ..with visual impairment.

0:09:00 > 0:09:06- It started around seven years ago.

0:09:06 > 0:09:10- Bernie had been working as an actor - on Hollyoaks for many years.

0:09:11 > 0:09:15- Today, we're - kind of concentrating on faces.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17- I want you to think about that.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19- I want you to think about that.- - Jane Latham is his wife.

0:09:19 > 0:09:23- This time, you're going to - completely get into the paint pot.

0:09:24 > 0:09:28- It's wonderful working with Mared - and to have known her for so long.

0:09:28 > 0:09:32- We've seen her grow up. - She's a talented young lady.

0:09:32 > 0:09:35- Splat it all on Bernie.

0:09:35 > 0:09:38- The first day we worked with her, - we knew she had it.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41- She's got this really good gift.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43- This talent of listening...

0:09:44 > 0:09:47- ..and being able - to portray different characters.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49- Let's be a lion.

0:09:50 > 0:09:52- Yes, let's!

0:10:00 > 0:10:03- I was thrown into this world - full of positive people...

0:10:07 > 0:10:11- ..who just wanted me - to push myself and have self-belief.

0:10:12 > 0:10:15- I don't think - I'd be the person I am today...

0:10:15 > 0:10:19- ..if I hadn't had - that encouragement from the start.

0:10:25 > 0:10:30- I do believe they've helped - shaped me as a person...

0:10:30 > 0:10:34- ..and the way - I deal with my condition.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36- Take your time.

0:10:43 > 0:10:43- .

0:10:45 > 0:10:45- Subtitles

0:10:45 > 0:10:47- Subtitles- - Subtitles

0:10:56 > 0:10:59- Strange things have been happening.

0:10:59 > 0:11:05- Lights are flashing all the time, - even when I close my eyes.

0:11:07 > 0:11:12- I see strips of light - going around and around...

0:11:12 > 0:11:16- ..for a minute or so - and all I can do is stare.

0:11:20 > 0:11:24- It happens when there's - a change in light conditions.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27- I'm in the dark - and someone switches on a light.

0:11:31 > 0:11:34- From what I understand...

0:11:34 > 0:11:37- ..some kind of fluid - leaks from the blood vessels...

0:11:38 > 0:11:41- ..and burns away the retina.

0:11:48 > 0:11:51- When Mared was about 10 years old...

0:11:51 > 0:11:55- ..when the condition - started to manifest...

0:11:55 > 0:11:57- ..I felt frustrated.

0:11:57 > 0:12:00- I was filled with so many emotions.

0:12:00 > 0:12:04- I felt angry at the world...

0:12:04 > 0:12:08- ..and an element of guilt...

0:12:08 > 0:12:11- ..because of - the illness's genetic factor.

0:12:11 > 0:12:16- All these feelings prompted me - to write a poem for Mared.

0:12:16 > 0:12:21- How great her vision - and sweet her harmony

0:12:21 > 0:12:26- The humour of her jokes - and her outlook on the world

0:12:26 > 0:12:29- Happy of spirit and full of life

0:12:29 > 0:12:33- And the mischief that follows - when blowing the saxophone

0:12:33 > 0:12:35- Or playing the piano tenderly

0:12:36 > 0:12:38- Every melody is full of feeling

0:12:39 > 0:12:42- Her loss is our responsibility

0:12:43 > 0:12:45- Summer won't come to her again

0:12:46 > 0:12:48- Only a perpetual autumn

0:12:48 > 0:12:50- A low-lying sun and a grey moon

0:12:51 > 0:12:55- I'll be with her until the end

0:12:55 > 0:12:59- As a kind of antipasto misto - or offerings on a plate

0:12:59 > 0:13:03- If food is the essence of life

0:13:03 > 0:13:07- Remembering her as a child, - her fingers twisting my hair

0:13:07 > 0:13:11- Our world turns into a dream - for the final time

0:13:12 > 0:13:16- Mared is a being of maturity

0:13:17 > 0:13:18- All that's important

0:13:19 > 0:13:21- Is that we can see her.

0:13:28 > 0:13:32- This plaque is made of clay.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34- Very cheap clay.

0:13:34 > 0:13:38- But there are holes...

0:13:38 > 0:13:40- ..that have been cut out.

0:13:41 > 0:13:46- These holes - spell out a sentence in Braille.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49- The words say, hold your ground.

0:13:50 > 0:13:54- The idea - is to look through the holes...

0:13:54 > 0:13:56- ..to see the picture behind...

0:13:56 > 0:14:02- ..and there's a special way of - using your eyes to see the picture.

0:14:02 > 0:14:06- I wanted to try and portray...

0:14:06 > 0:14:11- ..what a partially-sighted person - has to deal with...

0:14:11 > 0:14:13- ..in a creative way...

0:14:15 > 0:14:17- ..and a less obvious way.

0:14:18 > 0:14:23- Although this clay plaque...

0:14:24 > 0:14:27- ..obscures the picture behind it...

0:14:27 > 0:14:30- ..the piece itself is pretty too.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33- It's like my eyesight.

0:14:33 > 0:14:36- Although I can't see - the picture clearly...

0:14:37 > 0:14:41- ..the layer on top of that...

0:14:41 > 0:14:45- ..still makes - the picture I see pretty.

0:15:01 > 0:15:04- Hello. How are you?

0:15:04 > 0:15:06- Fine.

0:15:07 > 0:15:10- These are for you. Enjoy them.

0:15:10 > 0:15:12- Look who's here.

0:15:12 > 0:15:15- Are you alright? Long time no see.

0:15:16 > 0:15:17- Are you keeping busy?

0:15:17 > 0:15:20- Are you keeping busy?- - Yes, ish.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22- Busy enough.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24- Is it odd being back?

0:15:24 > 0:15:26- Is it odd being back?- - Yes, it is.

0:15:27 > 0:15:30- Pupils spend a lot of time here...

0:15:30 > 0:15:34- ..and when they go, - it's strange without them.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37- I've decided to leave college.

0:15:38 > 0:15:39- You've made your decision?

0:15:39 > 0:15:40- You've made your decision?- - Yes.

0:15:41 > 0:15:43- It wasn't the right time for you.

0:15:43 > 0:15:45- No.

0:15:45 > 0:15:50- It was just really difficult - being in that kind of environment.

0:15:51 > 0:15:56- It's a big change and now's - not the right time. Maybe later.

0:15:56 > 0:16:00- Because of your impairment, - you haven't had the freedom.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03- You had freedom from Mam and Dad...

0:16:03 > 0:16:06- ..but you couldn't do - a lot of things...

0:16:06 > 0:16:09- ..that you have - the confidence to do now.

0:16:09 > 0:16:12- You should enjoy - doing things you didn't do before.

0:16:13 > 0:16:18- Since growing up - in this situation...

0:16:18 > 0:16:22- ..and being surrounded by people...

0:16:22 > 0:16:27- ..I realize I'm in the best possible - situation that I could be in.

0:16:27 > 0:16:28- You mean family?

0:16:28 > 0:16:30- You mean family?- - Family, UCan, friends...

0:16:31 > 0:16:33- ..school.

0:16:33 > 0:16:38- I've been very lucky in - the decisions that have been made.

0:16:38 > 0:16:43- The fact that Mam and Dad haven't - changed our home life at all.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46- Mam still works - and Dad still works...

0:16:46 > 0:16:49- ..but they're home often enough.

0:16:50 > 0:16:54- I've stayed in mainstream school, - a Welsh-medium school.

0:16:54 > 0:16:57- Ysgol Plasmawr is wonderful.

0:16:58 > 0:16:59- Yes, exactly.

0:17:03 > 0:17:06- I took these photographs...

0:17:06 > 0:17:10- ..at a farmhouse in Strata Florida.

0:17:10 > 0:17:16- I've never seen such - a beautiful house in all my life...

0:17:17 > 0:17:19- ..although it's dilapidated.

0:17:21 > 0:17:25- Really weird little things...

0:17:25 > 0:17:27- ..like horse paraphernalia.

0:17:27 > 0:17:30- I'm no farm girl, - so I'm not sure what they are.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33- Put the whole thing together...

0:17:33 > 0:17:38- ..and it's as if - it's been staged for a photograph.

0:17:41 > 0:17:45- I find it difficult to explain...

0:17:45 > 0:17:49- ..how I do the work...

0:17:49 > 0:17:54- ..because it sounds odd, - but I just do it.

0:17:54 > 0:17:56- It just happens.

0:18:01 > 0:18:08- I think my mind - remembers when I had full vision.

0:18:12 > 0:18:16- I've collected the pieces - I've made over the years...

0:18:17 > 0:18:21- ..because I've become - very attached to them.

0:18:21 > 0:18:25- I didn't want to leave them - in school.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28- This is my favourite piece of all.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33- This is when my obsession - with clay began.

0:18:33 > 0:18:39- My grandfather told me - just to have a go with clay.

0:18:39 > 0:18:44- The first thing you create - is a thumb pot.

0:18:44 > 0:18:50- All it is is a lump of clay - in the shape of a ball.

0:18:50 > 0:18:52- You use your thumb...

0:18:52 > 0:18:54- ..and your fingers...

0:18:54 > 0:18:58- ..to create the cup shape.

0:18:58 > 0:19:03- The trick - is to mould it in one piece.

0:19:03 > 0:19:07- I had a picture in my mind - that they were going to hang...

0:19:07 > 0:19:11- ..because - there were holes in them...

0:19:11 > 0:19:16- ..as if they were decaying or as if - something had been pecking at them.

0:19:17 > 0:19:19- I liked the idea - they were hanging...

0:19:20 > 0:19:24- ..and had been left for many years.

0:19:27 > 0:19:31- # A dormant love was awakened

0:19:32 > 0:19:35- # We got married though we were poor

0:19:37 > 0:19:39- # In delicate shawls

0:19:39 > 0:19:43- # Children were nursed

0:19:46 > 0:19:51- # A belated Hallelujah

0:19:51 > 0:19:56- # The world beyond is responding now

0:19:56 > 0:20:00- # Hallelujah day and night

0:20:01 > 0:20:06- # The delicate cloth - is the colour of the soil #

0:20:06 > 0:20:09- I recorded an album two years ago.

0:20:09 > 0:20:13- It was the first album - I'd released in a long while.

0:20:15 > 0:20:20- My daughter Lisa - has sung with me over the years.

0:20:21 > 0:20:26- After hearing - Mared and Hanna's voices...

0:20:27 > 0:20:32- ..I decided it'd be great to have - the three of them singing harmonies.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35- It was a wonderful experience.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38- The three of them sing on the album.

0:20:38 > 0:20:40- # Something in the beady eyes

0:20:40 > 0:20:44- # That see everything - like a reflection

0:20:44 > 0:20:50- # Solzhenitsyn, stop

0:20:50 > 0:20:52- I'm still not sure of the rhythm.

0:20:52 > 0:20:56- I'm still not sure of the rhythm.- - # Solzhenitsyn, stop

0:20:56 > 0:20:58- # Something in the beady eyes

0:20:58 > 0:21:03- # That sees everything - like a reflection

0:21:03 > 0:21:04- # Solzhenitsyn, stop #

0:21:04 > 0:21:07- It's more of a saying than a song.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10- It's spoken more than sung.

0:21:12 > 0:21:15- It's been - an incredible experience...

0:21:16 > 0:21:21- ..having them there in support - and sharing the experience.

0:21:21 > 0:21:24- # In delicate shawls - children were nursed #

0:21:25 > 0:21:30- It made a huge difference because - it changed the quality of my work.

0:21:30 > 0:21:35- # A belated Hallelujah

0:21:35 > 0:21:40- # The world beyond - is responding now

0:21:40 > 0:21:44- # Hallelujah day and night

0:21:44 > 0:21:49- # The delicate cloth - is the colour of the soil #

0:21:50 > 0:21:54- Singing is my passion.

0:21:55 > 0:21:59- That's what - I'd eventually like to do.

0:22:00 > 0:22:04- But I also enjoy writing...

0:22:04 > 0:22:08- ..and I'm drawn - to literature and drama.

0:22:08 > 0:22:11- But I'm not sure.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14- These things are all connected.

0:22:14 > 0:22:18- There might be a way - of combining all those things.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32- I've never met anyone like Mared.

0:22:33 > 0:22:36- We work with a lot - of partially-sighted children.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39- She's extraordinary.

0:22:42 > 0:22:45- You work with lots of people - in this line of work...

0:22:45 > 0:22:49- ..and then you meet someone - at a relatively young age...

0:22:50 > 0:22:52- ..who's got it all.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54- The musical talent, the voice...

0:22:54 > 0:22:59- ..and she has the ability to be - good every time she does something.

0:22:59 > 0:23:02- It's quite natural - and it's also rare.

0:23:02 > 0:23:05- Whatever she decides to do, - she'll be good at it.

0:23:05 > 0:23:09- There's no doubt about that.

0:23:11 > 0:23:17- I've come to the point where I think - that's what everyone else sees too.

0:23:17 > 0:23:21- I can't really understand - what everybody else sees.

0:23:22 > 0:23:26- That's my way of dealing with it.

0:23:27 > 0:23:32- I kid myself - that I'm the normal one...

0:23:32 > 0:23:34- ..not everyone else!

0:23:50 > 0:23:52- S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.

0:23:52 > 0:23:52- .