0:00:48 > 0:00:51I've always thought I'd lived a charmed life.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Happy, healthy, loved.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57But sometimes, luck just runs out.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02In the back of my mind, I always dreaded it would.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14I didn't expect to come back to my home town,
0:01:14 > 0:01:16to Largs.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Nor had any of us,
0:01:22 > 0:01:24three generations of my family,
0:01:24 > 0:01:26been a tag team.
0:01:27 > 0:01:32- Where do you sleep when you're here? - I sleep wherever I'm put.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Sometimes I sleep on Mark's bed.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39When he comes in at eight o'clock in the morning,
0:01:39 > 0:01:40I've got to have got up.
0:01:41 > 0:01:46I used to think bad things wouldn't happen to good people.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49I didn't know you could grow old overnight.
0:01:49 > 0:01:53And I never expected my mother to need mothering.
0:01:53 > 0:01:54Goodnight, folks.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01How come you're not asleep yet?
0:02:08 > 0:02:10Will we sing a wee song?
0:02:11 > 0:02:12What kind of sleepy song?
0:02:15 > 0:02:18# By yon bonny banks...
0:02:26 > 0:02:29# ..Loch Lomond
0:02:29 > 0:02:33# When me and my true love
0:02:33 > 0:02:34# Will never meet again
0:02:37 > 0:02:43# On the bonny, bonny banks of Loch Lomond... #
0:02:45 > 0:02:49SNORING
0:03:21 > 0:03:23It's not so hard to get used to a new routine.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29I'm here every other week, stalling my own life,
0:03:29 > 0:03:31letting e-mails flood in unread.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Mobile phone switched off.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38There are no emergencies left for me now.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Toast?
0:03:48 > 0:03:51You had your toast at lunchtime... at breakfast.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54You could have toast for lunch, but...
0:03:54 > 0:03:56There's other choices.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00We're not running a snack bar here, you know.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04We don't have a printed menu.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07- HE CHUCKLES - Yes, not yet!
0:04:11 > 0:04:14- OK, turban now?- Yeah?
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Yeah. SHE CHUCKLES
0:04:22 > 0:04:24It's not real fur, is it?
0:04:36 > 0:04:38SHE LAUGHS
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Go on, lad!
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Come on!
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Hey! Oh, no!
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Yes, go on!
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Mum was the centre of our family galaxy
0:05:08 > 0:05:12for so long that we'd stopped feeling her gravity.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14But it was always there.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16However distantly.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Her stroke set us all adrift,
0:05:20 > 0:05:24without the one person who would have guided us through it safely.
0:05:24 > 0:05:25Her.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40The doctors couldn't put Mum back together again.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44So we brought her back home to where she belonged.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49Hoping she's forgotten all that she's lost,
0:05:49 > 0:05:51but knowing that we can't.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06My dad, Ian, is the hub of home life now.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10But things aren't quite how they look.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Just like me, he's new around here.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19It's 15 years since he and Mum split up.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- That's quite tasty, Mum, is it?- Yes.- Good.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30Then, just when we'd all got used to this new normal,
0:06:30 > 0:06:37he quietly, without much fuss, moved back in upstairs.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42No-one asked why or how long he planned to stay.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45It's just our family way, not to.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Like your pudding, yeah?
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Yoghurt and banana and a bit of pineapple.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05"Premier British wrestling is returning to Barrfields in Largs.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07"Tickets are already on sale."
0:07:07 > 0:07:09- Yeah?- £15.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16THEY LAUGH
0:07:16 > 0:07:19"A rocking celebration for a golden couple.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23"Agnes and Jimmy McClane mark their 50 years of marriage."
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Do you know what, if you and Dad were still married,
0:07:26 > 0:07:30you would, next year, be celebrating your 50th.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31Yeah?
0:07:31 > 0:07:33We'll probably still celebrate it.
0:07:33 > 0:07:34- Yeah.- In some way.
0:07:34 > 0:07:3750 years of marital hell!
0:07:37 > 0:07:39THEY CHUCKLE
0:07:42 > 0:07:44It seems like a sentence.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47That's the standard joke, isn't it?
0:07:47 > 0:07:49- Are you practising your speech now? - Yeah.
0:07:56 > 0:08:02When my parents fell in love, in the early 1960s, Mum was a trainee nurse
0:08:02 > 0:08:07and she had just booked her passage to emigrate to a new life in Canada.
0:08:07 > 0:08:12Dad was a dashing Cambridge University graduate and they
0:08:12 > 0:08:16started an intense transatlantic love affair by letter.
0:08:17 > 0:08:22Ending in a plea to Mum from Dad to come back home to Glasgow
0:08:22 > 0:08:24and marry him.
0:08:24 > 0:08:29Homesick and lovestruck, she did just that.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34Their early married life was a carefree, social whirlwind.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Then Mum and Dad moved to a big house by the sea
0:08:39 > 0:08:43to raise their swift run of four children in five years.
0:08:44 > 0:08:49I came along nine months to the day after Mum's 32nd birthday.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53I was an artistic child from the start.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57Or, as my parents put it, just downright contrary.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59But in a big family like ours,
0:08:59 > 0:09:04there was room for an eccentric and it was a free and easy childhood,
0:09:04 > 0:09:07playing on beaches, hills and glens
0:09:07 > 0:09:10and dancing around the kitchen with Dad at the weekend
0:09:10 > 0:09:14whilst Mum got her home cooking onto the dinner table.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19But I was always daydreaming of being raised by Bohemians
0:09:19 > 0:09:23instead of this accountant and housewife.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28And I was sure I'd live a different life from them,
0:09:28 > 0:09:30full of passion and adventure.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35But what I didn't know then
0:09:35 > 0:09:38was that this restlessness was, in fact, in my blood.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42That Dad was keeping a secret from us.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46He was dreaming of escape, too.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Ana min Glasgow.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58I am from Glasgow.
0:09:58 > 0:09:59Ana min Glasgow.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05Why are you trying to keep up with your Arabic?
0:10:05 > 0:10:07I don't know. I mean, if I apply for a job
0:10:07 > 0:10:10with MI5 or MI6 or something...
0:10:10 > 0:10:11- LAUGHING:- You know?
0:10:14 > 0:10:16How many languages can you speak, Dad?
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Oh, well, see...
0:10:18 > 0:10:19I can...French and German,
0:10:19 > 0:10:21and I know a smattering of other ones.
0:10:21 > 0:10:27Amharic, Arabic and Afar and Somali.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Afar is the other language out there in Djibouti,
0:10:30 > 0:10:32spoken by the Afar tribe.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Before you'd got your job there, had you heard of Djibouti?
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Em...I don't think so.
0:10:39 > 0:10:40HE LAUGHS
0:10:40 > 0:10:42No, no, never.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44I just got into the swing of things, you know?
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Too late to regret, now.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55I was 13 when Dad left.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58For a while, we hadn't been seeing much of him at home -
0:10:58 > 0:11:01his hobby of choice, long-distance running,
0:11:01 > 0:11:04seemed to take him away from us for as long as possible.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Mum clipped out and kept a local newspaper feature
0:11:09 > 0:11:11on Dad's new career.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16The eyes of the entire world were on Africa in the 1980s
0:11:16 > 0:11:18and I was proud that my dad
0:11:18 > 0:11:22was abandoning his boring job in insurance and going out there.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25I looked forward to hearing all about his adventures
0:11:25 > 0:11:27in the tiny country of Djibouti,
0:11:27 > 0:11:30a former French colony in East Africa.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Maybe I'd even get to visit there one day.
0:11:34 > 0:11:39But this is the only photo Dad sent back home during his ten-year post.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45Phone calls, letters and postcards were few and very far between.
0:11:48 > 0:11:52We grew up fast and when Dad came home twice a year,
0:11:52 > 0:11:55he didn't seem to want to talk about Africa,
0:11:55 > 0:11:57or much else.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00At 17, I escaped to art school,
0:12:00 > 0:12:02as we all sailed through our degrees
0:12:02 > 0:12:04as Dad, of course, knew that we would.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10Mum and Dad spent an annual holiday alone together -
0:12:10 > 0:12:13somewhere exotic, expensive.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18But birthdays and anniversaries seemed to always be spent apart.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25It's only now that I can ask Dad,
0:12:25 > 0:12:29"How did it feel to leave us behind?"
0:12:29 > 0:12:31I certainly missed the family
0:12:31 > 0:12:33and I obviously missed your mother as well,
0:12:33 > 0:12:36but I don't think I expressed myself, you know,
0:12:36 > 0:12:37massively in that way.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41I'm not the kind of person who does that, anyhow.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44My wife was doing an excellent job, bringing up the children,
0:12:44 > 0:12:50while I was kind of playing fast and loose in Djibouti.
0:12:50 > 0:12:51Did you maybe feel like Mum
0:12:51 > 0:12:55had...started to feel differently about you, romantically?
0:12:55 > 0:12:57I don't know. Eh...
0:12:57 > 0:12:59No, I think she was very fond of me.
0:12:59 > 0:13:00Yeah.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Yeah.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10Mum was so good at keeping up appearances,
0:13:10 > 0:13:11so protective of us.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17Dad's job had come to an end and he'd returned home.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23I'd just graduated and I'd won a scholarship to go on to Europe.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Looking at Mum now in this photo,
0:13:27 > 0:13:32I can't believe I didn't notice that her face is full of tears,
0:13:32 > 0:13:35and that I didn't ask her what was wrong.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41When all my celebrations had died away,
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Mum rang and she asked me to sit down.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47She had something important to tell me.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54You have a nice time at the pub?
0:13:54 > 0:13:58Yeah, good craic, tonight. Ewan was causing a lot of problems, yeah.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00I'll tell you who was asking for you tonight, Ann -
0:14:00 > 0:14:03your great friend Harry McEachran.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Your fellow protestor.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09- Yeah, from the... - Yeah, from the prom.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11- ..car park protest of ages. - That's right.- Yeah.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15He's in good shape and he says he remembers you
0:14:15 > 0:14:19and one of his fellow protestors - he's still protesting.
0:14:19 > 0:14:20Yeah.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22So, this is fish pie, Dad.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25- Oh, God.- Oh.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28I think...I'm going to buy some mince tomorrow.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Always a great mince fan.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35I remember Mum used to object, when I came back from abroad,
0:14:35 > 0:14:37she would think we were going for a slap-up meal somewhere
0:14:37 > 0:14:41and I would say, "No, I just want mince tonight," you know?
0:14:41 > 0:14:42HE LAUGHS
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Tremendous. Mince and potatoes.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49One of the finest meals you can get your hands on.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52I don't remember you ever cooking anything
0:14:52 > 0:14:54in my entire...
0:14:55 > 0:14:57No - I can cook simple things.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Mince is my...
0:15:00 > 0:15:02I don't remember you cooking mince, ever.
0:15:03 > 0:15:08'Dinner conversations like this remind me I hardly know my dad.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12'Maybe I just erased the details of family life from memory
0:15:12 > 0:15:16'when the man I thought I knew vanished overnight.'
0:15:17 > 0:15:20'For Dad, time has diminished nothing
0:15:20 > 0:15:23'and his perennial worries have always remained the same -
0:15:23 > 0:15:26'the underachievements of his children,
0:15:26 > 0:15:30'whether it's my pursuit of film-making and art,
0:15:30 > 0:15:33'or Mark's job working nights in a casino.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35'Dad never seems to stop and think
0:15:35 > 0:15:39'who this stubborn streak in his kids might have come from.'
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Mark has never found his niche.
0:15:43 > 0:15:44The bugger's got two bloody degrees
0:15:44 > 0:15:48and he's fannying around up there in the casino.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53LAUGHTER
0:16:00 > 0:16:01Yeah.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06Do you know we've been filming for months now, Mum?
0:16:06 > 0:16:11I've still got a lot of questions I want to ask...Dad in particular.
0:16:11 > 0:16:12Yeah.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16I don't think he's been that open, yet.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Do you think Dad thinks that we've all forgiven him?
0:16:39 > 0:16:40Yeah.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04..stick...
0:17:04 > 0:17:08Well, I think this film is going to show him otherwise...
0:17:10 > 0:17:11..I'm afraid.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24'I need to show you this, now.
0:17:24 > 0:17:30'Mum as she was, before everything changed for us one last time.'
0:17:32 > 0:17:35'I filmed this three weeks before her stroke.'
0:17:37 > 0:17:40'We had big plans for the film we thought we were starting...'
0:17:43 > 0:17:46'..and we began with a photo she'd sent me that summer.'
0:17:47 > 0:17:52'Written on its reverse - "Send this back ASAP.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55'"Your father doesn't know I have it."'
0:17:58 > 0:18:01So, tell me about, um...Campbell.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Who's Campbell?
0:18:03 > 0:18:04Campbell is...
0:18:04 > 0:18:07I describe him as my husband's son,
0:18:07 > 0:18:09not my son.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12But I didn't know that Campbell existed
0:18:12 > 0:18:15until Campbell was five years old.
0:18:16 > 0:18:20And it was...shocking.
0:18:20 > 0:18:21It was...
0:18:21 > 0:18:26It was the end of my...world,
0:18:26 > 0:18:28in many ways,
0:18:28 > 0:18:31because it was the thing that I least...
0:18:31 > 0:18:33I didn't even entertain the idea
0:18:33 > 0:18:35that he would have a liaison
0:18:35 > 0:18:37with somebody else.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39It just wasn't going to happen.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44I'm sorry.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52It was in Djibouti and, you know, she was...
0:18:53 > 0:18:57She worked in a bar, and I must admit,
0:18:57 > 0:18:59I think it was kind of love at first sight.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02It was one of these rather romantic things.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05You feel flattered that a much younger girl -
0:19:05 > 0:19:09because she must have been, at that time,
0:19:09 > 0:19:12just in her very early 20s, you know?
0:19:12 > 0:19:15- TV:- '..parliament which is being created...'
0:19:15 > 0:19:16- Campbell?- Yeah?
0:19:16 > 0:19:19- TV:- 'There's been a new row over Scottish home rule
0:19:19 > 0:19:21'as the government gears up to...'
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Do you want to come and sit down on this couch and be filmed?
0:19:24 > 0:19:26We're being filmed, at the moment.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29'..at Westminster, even after devolution,
0:19:29 > 0:19:32'and it's argued that Westminster could alter or even abolish
0:19:32 > 0:19:34'the Scottish Parliament in future.
0:19:34 > 0:19:35'Our political editor, Brian Taylor...'
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Free to come and go? Why did you tell me I had to sit here?
0:19:38 > 0:19:39Is it just for a rest?
0:19:39 > 0:19:43- I wanted somebody to. - Yeah, well...
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Campbell, do you want to sit there?
0:19:51 > 0:19:56'Shellshocked and silenced, we fell into line.'
0:19:58 > 0:19:59'Maybe we managed to
0:19:59 > 0:20:03'because there was also a new kind of love growing amongst us -
0:20:03 > 0:20:08'one that could perhaps embrace this innocent, beautiful boy
0:20:08 > 0:20:10'who was suddenly in our lives.'
0:20:14 > 0:20:18It's chaos! It's chaos.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21'My parents had just become grandparents.'
0:20:22 > 0:20:26'As more grandchildren arrived and the family grew,
0:20:26 > 0:20:29'Dad's new role as Papa seemed to suit him well.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31'He mattered again.'
0:20:33 > 0:20:36'So life appeared to just go on as usual,
0:20:36 > 0:20:39'despite the bomb that had been dropped on Mum.'
0:20:43 > 0:20:46Slowly, she steeled herself to face a life on her own
0:20:46 > 0:20:48for the first time.
0:20:48 > 0:20:53The beloved family home of 30 years was put on the market.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57But Dad, in the meantime, stayed put.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00She felt that she'd been let down, as she had been, by me,
0:21:00 > 0:21:01and she wanted, suddenly wanted...
0:21:01 > 0:21:04She wanted to be...to be on her own, I think, really -
0:21:04 > 0:21:05that's what it was, you know?
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Oh, yeah, she didn't want to,
0:21:07 > 0:21:09probably, stay married to me, you know.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12And that was it. It was her decision.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18When the house eventually sold, Dad seemed to accept defeat.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24But then he moved into a flat just a few streets away from Mum.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Neither of them knew how to do this.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32How do you think other people view the situation between...
0:21:32 > 0:21:34- Oh... - ..between you and Dad?
0:21:34 > 0:21:36I mean, as much as they know about it.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39I think they think it's absolutely bizarre.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Why do you do his washing?
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Because he doesn't have a washing machine.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47And even if he had a washing machine,
0:21:47 > 0:21:49he wouldn't know how to operate it.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52My feeling is, if I'm washing for myself,
0:21:52 > 0:21:54I'm only on my own -
0:21:54 > 0:21:57in a practical sense, I am not going to put
0:21:57 > 0:21:59a little bit of washing in the machine for myself
0:21:59 > 0:22:01when I can...
0:22:03 > 0:22:05..be more economic.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Campbell moved to Scotland in his teens
0:22:17 > 0:22:21to live full-time with Dad and finish his education,
0:22:21 > 0:22:23and he's hardly ever been home since.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29We never talked before about the early years in Africa.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33The years when we shared a father, but I didn't know it yet.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38Maybe I was afraid to hear about his papa -
0:22:38 > 0:22:42a better, happier dad than the one that I knew.
0:22:42 > 0:22:46Papa used to come over, like, every year for three, four weeks,
0:22:46 > 0:22:48used to come over and see us and...
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Yeah, we used to have a good time when he came over.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Used to go out for walks and stuff, and so on.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55We used to have a, like, a celebration.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59My mum's...my mum's family used to come over.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03Yeah, I was always happy when my dad was there, yeah.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11How was he? Was he OK at the weekend?
0:23:11 > 0:23:13I think he's fed up with being unemployed, you know?
0:23:13 > 0:23:17Well, half the country is - I mean...terribly demoralising.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21You're probably more understanding about these situations -
0:23:21 > 0:23:22I don't know.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26I just take the view, "Come on, boy - you've let me down,
0:23:26 > 0:23:29"you've cost me a lot of money and you're messing around,
0:23:29 > 0:23:31"doing nothing."
0:23:31 > 0:23:33You know, you've got to struggle, sometimes.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35This is what counts in life.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38You know, the amount of money I spent on him in various ways,
0:23:38 > 0:23:40and my time - God Almighty...
0:23:41 > 0:23:44But you spent money on all your kids.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46I have, yes.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Spent a fortune on you.
0:23:55 > 0:23:56Yeah, don't worry, son.
0:23:58 > 0:23:59We'll sort this out.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Dad seems to play out his own boyhood fantasies
0:24:04 > 0:24:07in his endless schemes for Campbell's future.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10His latest plan is to get Campbell a visa
0:24:10 > 0:24:13so that he can try out for the French Foreign Legion -
0:24:13 > 0:24:17one of the world's toughest armed forces.
0:24:17 > 0:24:18That's him coming in, now.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Hello, young man. All right? Come in.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26You might be on film, Campbell, watch yourself, here.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39I like your shoes, Campbell.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44He won't be wearing these in the Legion, that's for sure.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47HE LAUGHS
0:25:05 > 0:25:09What do you feel about how Papa's helped you find a job
0:25:09 > 0:25:12or change your life since you stopped living together?
0:25:14 > 0:25:16Yeah, I think he understands
0:25:16 > 0:25:20that there's not that many opportunities in this area.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25But he seems to get quite angry with you
0:25:25 > 0:25:28rather than angry with the situation.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Yeah, I suppose, yeah.
0:25:30 > 0:25:35He's always threatening to send you off somewhere.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38- Yeah, like the French Foreign Legion.- Yeah.
0:25:38 > 0:25:42Yeah, except that's coming true now!
0:25:42 > 0:25:44- Yeah.- Maybe.
0:25:46 > 0:25:47(Yeah.)
0:25:48 > 0:25:51Dad's plans for Campbell never run smoothly,
0:25:51 > 0:25:54and his patience is running out.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58OK, what is the date of your birth?
0:26:06 > 0:26:10- That's very good you remembered it, Ann.- That's very good.- Uh-huh.
0:26:10 > 0:26:15Have you experienced divorce or permanent separation?
0:26:15 > 0:26:16Yeah.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20That's better.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Divorce yet no separation, we should write that.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26- Yeah.- How often do you feel happy?
0:26:29 > 0:26:31- Happy?- Happy.
0:26:34 > 0:26:35Hmm.
0:26:35 > 0:26:39Would you call that often or sometimes?
0:26:41 > 0:26:44How would you describe your usual walking pace -
0:26:44 > 0:26:47brisk, average, slow or I cannot walk?
0:26:48 > 0:26:50I cannot walk is the last one.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58- I would have said brisk before your stroke.- Yeah.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01- But this is about your health now. - Yeah.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04- So we have to tick "cannot walk". - Yeah...
0:27:08 > 0:27:10- IAN:- But, Karen, he was a taxpayer.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13He had a bloody good job
0:27:13 > 0:27:17as a cashier in Largs' Ladbrokes office
0:27:17 > 0:27:19and he blew it.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21He could've been sponsored for his athletics...
0:27:21 > 0:27:27his athletics...inclinations, if he'd wanted, and so on.
0:27:27 > 0:27:28And he's blown it.
0:27:33 > 0:27:34All right, Ann?
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Yes.
0:27:37 > 0:27:38Thank you.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43I said to him one day, Karen, I said,
0:27:43 > 0:27:46"Look, Campbell, I'm very fed up with you."
0:27:46 > 0:27:51I said, "You're my son and I had hoped that one day,
0:27:51 > 0:27:55"thanks to your athletic ability,
0:27:55 > 0:28:00"I would one day be there saying, 'This is my son.
0:28:00 > 0:28:04"'The guy you see on TV at night, yeah, he's my son.
0:28:04 > 0:28:08"'Yeah. That's Campbell Guthrie, he happens to be my son.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10"'He's half Ethiopian
0:28:10 > 0:28:13"'but he's an athlete and he's a star.'"
0:28:13 > 0:28:16That's what I wanted, Karen, OK?
0:28:16 > 0:28:18And I've not got it, right?
0:28:24 > 0:28:26I remember this Dad,
0:28:26 > 0:28:29when nothing his children could do was ever enough.
0:28:32 > 0:28:35It was Mum who'd always shielded us from him,
0:28:35 > 0:28:37Mum who praised all our achievements -
0:28:37 > 0:28:39great and small.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41But things couldn't be that simple
0:28:41 > 0:28:45when it came to Campbell, Dad and her.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50ANN:
0:30:34 > 0:30:36More filming, chaps, is it?
0:30:38 > 0:30:40HE CHUCKLES
0:30:43 > 0:30:46This is going to be a tremendous horror movie, this.
0:30:54 > 0:30:55Pardon?
0:30:57 > 0:30:59What, these movies?
0:31:00 > 0:31:02Yeah, I think it's, er...
0:31:02 > 0:31:04No privacy any more.
0:31:18 > 0:31:19Why do you paint your bags?
0:31:19 > 0:31:22You see all the bags the same, especially at these carousels,
0:31:22 > 0:31:24you know? Adds a wee bit extra to it.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26Not everybody will have IWG on their bags.
0:31:26 > 0:31:27HE CHUCKLES
0:31:27 > 0:31:31- Well, no. And no-one's going to want to steal it now.- I hope not.
0:31:31 > 0:31:34- Now you've ruined it.- Yeah.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36In front of you, on your tummy.
0:31:38 > 0:31:41'I was surprised to be enjoying our family routines now,
0:31:41 > 0:31:43'after 30 years free from them.'
0:31:45 > 0:31:49'From looking after Mum and Dad, I'd finally got to know them.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52'The crisis of the stroke had faded,
0:31:52 > 0:31:55'and I stopped fearing that the worst was yet to come.'
0:31:56 > 0:32:00'Trust crept quietly back into our lives...'
0:32:01 > 0:32:04'..until dad dropped something ever so casually
0:32:04 > 0:32:07'into the dinner conversation later that night.'
0:32:09 > 0:32:11'He was going to take a holiday.
0:32:13 > 0:32:14'In Ethiopia.'
0:32:43 > 0:32:45Yeah.
0:32:47 > 0:32:52But it means we have a few problems, looking after you.
0:32:56 > 0:32:57Because...
0:32:59 > 0:33:01..we've become dependent on him, haven't we?
0:33:03 > 0:33:04To look after you.
0:33:14 > 0:33:19So have you got the staff all right, coming in here, have you?
0:33:19 > 0:33:21- I think so.- Right.
0:33:22 > 0:33:26It's partly just everyone has to put their timetables together.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29Have you got some clothes out there still?
0:33:29 > 0:33:34Well, I've left some from time to time, but, yeah...
0:33:34 > 0:33:37- Why are you taking a ruler to Ethiopia?- Well, I just...
0:33:37 > 0:33:41I don't know. Just because I wanted to rule something!
0:33:41 > 0:33:42HE CHUCKLES
0:33:42 > 0:33:43What?
0:33:43 > 0:33:47It's because I want to rule a bit of paper.
0:33:48 > 0:33:51That's quite good. I can carry that not too badly.
0:33:51 > 0:33:53- Not too heavy?- No, it's not, no.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02Give you a quick swig of tea, Ann?
0:34:02 > 0:34:04- Can you?- Chase it down.
0:34:06 > 0:34:11'I hate myself for it, but I've inherited a familiar family trait.'
0:34:12 > 0:34:15'I'm mute, and I really shouldn't be.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18'Still so scared of asking for the truth.'
0:34:19 > 0:34:22'So I keep it all on the surface, in small talk.
0:34:22 > 0:34:27'And the chances are nothing much should change for the worse.'
0:34:27 > 0:34:29What was the time difference again, Dad?
0:34:29 > 0:34:32This time of year, it's two hours.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35That's not too bad, is it? You won't get jet-lagged.
0:34:35 > 0:34:37I'll be remaining in touch with e-mail.
0:34:37 > 0:34:41I mean, I don't think I'll e-mail everybody, but I'll e-mail somebody.
0:34:41 > 0:34:43Sometime.
0:34:43 > 0:34:44HE LAUGHS
0:34:44 > 0:34:47- What, it will be one of us? - Yes.- Good.
0:34:47 > 0:34:49You can pass the rest on.
0:34:50 > 0:34:52I'm sure it will be scintillating.
0:34:52 > 0:34:54It's tremendous, that.
0:35:12 > 0:35:16- Right, Karen, I'll see you around, my dear.- Bye, then.
0:35:16 > 0:35:18- OK?- Look after yourself. - I'll try to, yes.
0:35:18 > 0:35:21You are coming back, aren't you?
0:35:21 > 0:35:22Yes. Well... Yeah.
0:35:22 > 0:35:23This time I will, yeah.
0:35:45 > 0:35:47- Good morning.- Morning.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50- How are you?- OK.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52- Would you like a wee bit spray on?- Yeah.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07Morning. Hi, Mum.
0:36:07 > 0:36:09Food for the cat.
0:36:18 > 0:36:20Perfect.
0:36:20 > 0:36:25- Are they OK?- I think they will be.- They smell nice.
0:36:26 > 0:36:28I'll taste a wee one.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43- Is it?- Uh-huh.
0:36:43 > 0:36:44DOORBELL RINGS
0:36:47 > 0:36:48Coming!
0:36:52 > 0:36:53He'll be excited.
0:37:01 > 0:37:02Hi! Come in.
0:37:03 > 0:37:06Hi. How are you?
0:37:10 > 0:37:12Yeah, I'm fine.
0:37:12 > 0:37:14How's college?
0:37:14 > 0:37:16- Yeah, it's good. - Just been?- Yeah, just been.
0:37:33 > 0:37:34Yogurt.
0:37:51 > 0:37:55After a few weeks I rang Dad to catch up, and, if I'm honest,
0:37:55 > 0:37:57to check up.
0:37:57 > 0:38:00It was a Monday afternoon, but he sounded a bit drunk,
0:38:00 > 0:38:03as if he was at a party.
0:38:03 > 0:38:05I'd clearly interrupted something.
0:38:06 > 0:38:09And I knew that something was up.
0:38:12 > 0:38:17I wondered if all those years ago, Mum had once got that feeling, too.
0:38:20 > 0:38:25The following night a short e-mail arrived from dad saying
0:38:25 > 0:38:27he hoped I understood.
0:38:31 > 0:38:32Got an e-mail from Dad.
0:38:32 > 0:38:35Is he all right, yeah?
0:38:35 > 0:38:38- Yeah, he sounded good. - What's he been doing?
0:38:38 > 0:38:40Well, he got married on Monday.
0:38:40 > 0:38:42What?!
0:38:42 > 0:38:44He got married.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46Oh, for Christ's sake.
0:38:49 > 0:38:52That's a bit out of the blue. Or is it?
0:38:52 > 0:38:53I didn't expect it now.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56It's four years or something since he's been out.
0:38:56 > 0:38:58Ach, whatever.
0:39:08 > 0:39:13I'd let Dad back into my heart, and something had shifted between us.
0:39:14 > 0:39:19In the mirror now we see each other. Whether we like it or not.
0:39:20 > 0:39:22Stubborn and determined.
0:39:22 > 0:39:27The closer we get, the less we can both hide.
0:39:37 > 0:39:40Hello. Is Ian there?
0:39:40 > 0:39:44Hello, Dad, it's Karen. How are you?
0:39:44 > 0:39:48Look, everything's all right here. Mum has had her meds tweaked
0:39:48 > 0:39:51a little bit and actually she's quite lively at the moment.
0:39:51 > 0:39:54Which is nice.
0:39:56 > 0:39:59No, I wasn't going to tell her.
0:40:02 > 0:40:07Well, I think if anyone tells her, it should be you. Don't you?
0:40:13 > 0:40:15'I don't expect to hear the truth.
0:40:15 > 0:40:18'Not after all these years without.'
0:40:22 > 0:40:24But I can go and find it for myself.
0:40:25 > 0:40:31There's far too much at stake now to let Dad leave all over again.
0:40:32 > 0:40:36I have what Mum never had. Independence.
0:40:37 > 0:40:40And the name and address of Campbell's mother.
0:40:57 > 0:41:00Africa doesn't feel so far away any more.
0:41:09 > 0:41:13For 30 years, Dad kept us all in the dark about his parallel life here.
0:41:15 > 0:41:18His secret somehow hiding in plain sight.
0:41:22 > 0:41:24But now I'm getting used to the light.
0:41:36 > 0:41:37Papa?
0:41:44 > 0:41:46- Karen? This is Sablee.- Hello.
0:41:46 > 0:41:48This is Sweaty Betty from the Isle of Man.
0:41:48 > 0:41:52- No-one likes to be called that, though.- # Sweaty Betty from the Isle of Man. #
0:41:52 > 0:41:55- Do you have other brothers and sisters?- Yeah.- Kamal.- Adorable.
0:41:55 > 0:42:00Exactly. And this gentleman here is Mr Kafa.
0:42:00 > 0:42:03He's the fix-it man around here.
0:42:03 > 0:42:04- Hello.- Does everything.
0:42:04 > 0:42:08- I'm the daughter of Ian.- Yeah, yeah.
0:42:08 > 0:42:12Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
0:42:37 > 0:42:41She says that you didn't look for her all these years. Why suddenly?
0:42:42 > 0:42:47Well, I suppose we didn't think... Well, the reason was...
0:42:47 > 0:42:50I think, Dad, I think you, to be honest,
0:42:50 > 0:42:53you struggled to bring the two parts of your life together.
0:42:53 > 0:42:55Probably I did, yeah.
0:43:11 > 0:43:12THEY GIGGLE
0:43:14 > 0:43:16LAUGHTER
0:43:16 > 0:43:18Dad, you could have done the jacket up or something!
0:43:18 > 0:43:20Put the buttons together or something.
0:43:20 > 0:43:23Are you just signing the register there? Is that what you do?
0:43:23 > 0:43:26Yeah, you sign it a couple of times. I don't know what you're signing.
0:43:26 > 0:43:28- You could be signing your whole life away...- Yeah...
0:43:56 > 0:43:58FOOTBALL ON TV
0:44:07 > 0:44:09VEHICLE HORNS
0:44:26 > 0:44:28Good evening!
0:44:30 > 0:44:33- Is this table OK?- I think so, er...
0:44:33 > 0:44:34So, erm...
0:44:41 > 0:44:43That's why...
0:44:43 > 0:44:45Do you remember when that one was taken?
0:44:52 > 0:44:54Yeah, yeah, yeah...
0:45:04 > 0:45:06This is good.
0:45:16 > 0:45:18HE SIGHS
0:45:20 > 0:45:21Congratulations.
0:45:23 > 0:45:25Congratulations on the wedding.
0:45:25 > 0:45:28- HE SPEAKS FRENCH - One for the road!
0:45:28 > 0:45:30LAUGHTER The first one...
0:45:42 > 0:45:44HEAVY RAIN
0:45:44 > 0:45:47This is not what we expect in Ethiopia at this time of the year.
0:45:50 > 0:45:52No, it's not.
0:45:52 > 0:45:54It's probably the fault of Karen.
0:45:54 > 0:45:56LAUGHTER
0:45:56 > 0:46:00Did your families organise your marriage to Bari? Yeah?
0:46:00 > 0:46:03Did Tadelech help to choose her?
0:46:03 > 0:46:04Yeah, yeah.
0:46:10 > 0:46:12LAUGHTER
0:46:46 > 0:46:47You are a patient woman.
0:46:51 > 0:46:53LAUGHTER
0:46:54 > 0:46:56- OK, look at... Dad, chin up.- Good.
0:46:59 > 0:47:01Ready? One...two...
0:47:02 > 0:47:04CAMERA CLICKS
0:47:11 > 0:47:12At the end of my trip,
0:47:12 > 0:47:16Tadelech offered to come to the airport with me.
0:47:17 > 0:47:21The night before, with my school French dictionary,
0:47:21 > 0:47:24I finally worked out how to say to her,
0:47:24 > 0:47:31"Please...don't let this marriage change anything. Not now.
0:47:31 > 0:47:35"Let Ann keep Ian for as long as she has left.
0:47:35 > 0:47:37"Please."
0:47:39 > 0:47:40The taxi arrived for me...
0:47:42 > 0:47:43..but Tadelech wasn't in it.
0:48:01 > 0:48:04Are you OK? You look a bit sad.
0:48:04 > 0:48:05Yeah.
0:48:16 > 0:48:18Why would that be?
0:48:37 > 0:48:38Uh-hm.
0:48:45 > 0:48:47How are you finding the days without Dad here?
0:49:45 > 0:49:48Do you mean the decent thing with Campbell
0:49:48 > 0:49:50or the decent thing with you?
0:49:57 > 0:49:59- Well, he'll be back before you know it.- Yeah.
0:50:04 > 0:50:08You don't really have a sense of time any more, do you?
0:50:42 > 0:50:43KAREN SNIFFLES
0:51:11 > 0:51:13KAREN SNIFFLES
0:51:13 > 0:51:14I'm sorry.
0:51:26 > 0:51:28KAREN CHUCKLES
0:51:36 > 0:51:38Are you trying to cheer me up now?
0:51:38 > 0:51:40THEY CHUCKLE
0:51:42 > 0:51:45It's working.
0:51:45 > 0:51:46You always make me laugh.
0:51:55 > 0:51:57That sadness...
0:51:58 > 0:52:00- ..it just comes over you?- Uh-huh.
0:52:00 > 0:52:01And it comes over me.
0:52:15 > 0:52:17- Like happiness?- Uh-huh.
0:52:38 > 0:52:40That's true.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58SEAGULLS CRY
0:54:11 > 0:54:14We don't get to choose what we inherit.
0:54:19 > 0:54:21Maybe that's for the best.
0:54:28 > 0:54:31From Mum, I hope for that neat figure.
0:54:33 > 0:54:35Those laughter lines.
0:54:36 > 0:54:40Her effortless enjoyment of life's smaller pleasures.
0:54:41 > 0:54:43But you don't get to choose.
0:54:45 > 0:54:49Perhaps, instead, I just have her exasperation...
0:54:49 > 0:54:53the shortest of tempers... and worst of all...
0:54:53 > 0:54:57a buried time bomb in a place I can never reach.
0:54:58 > 0:55:01The tick-tock, tick-tocking...
0:55:02 > 0:55:03..of a future stroke.
0:55:08 > 0:55:11From Dad, I hope to inherit his ease amongst strangers,
0:55:11 > 0:55:15his sense of humour, to be comfortable in my own skin,
0:55:15 > 0:55:17like he is in his.
0:55:20 > 0:55:24But perhaps I just have his ego, his greed for love.
0:55:25 > 0:55:28But love that we struggle to return.
0:55:29 > 0:55:31As if to share it is to lose it.
0:55:32 > 0:55:34Or to lose ourselves within it.
0:55:44 > 0:55:45And from both Mum and Dad...
0:55:47 > 0:55:50..I learnt to lock away the things that hurt me the most...
0:55:52 > 0:55:57..until now, until this long last chance.
0:56:00 > 0:56:04Campbell's birth, Mum's stroke...
0:56:05 > 0:56:07..the bookends of our family story.
0:56:10 > 0:56:13They both felt like bereavements...
0:56:13 > 0:56:16but ones that they stayed with us for,
0:56:16 > 0:56:18to see us through.
0:56:19 > 0:56:21To make sure we'd be all right.
0:56:22 > 0:56:26And maybe...to teach us something...too.