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0:00:03 > 0:00:09- I booked a last-minute trip - in December 2009.
0:00:10 > 0:00:14- A cheap flight to Spain - where my parents have a flat.
0:00:15 > 0:00:19- I wanted to go somewhere - - to escape.
0:00:23 > 0:00:27- To everyone around me, - my life was perfect.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31- But to me, it wasn't.
0:00:33 > 0:00:34- Inside...
0:00:36 > 0:00:37- Inside, I was numb.
0:00:42 > 0:00:47- When Matt shared what he did on that - awful day in Spain on the balcony...
0:00:47 > 0:00:53- ..it was completely - unbelievable to me...
0:00:53 > 0:00:56- ..that someone - could reach such a place.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00- I was in a very dark place.
0:01:00 > 0:01:04- It felt - like everything was against me...
0:01:04 > 0:01:08- ..and the world - would be better without me.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13- When we learnt we were - to interview Matt on This Morning...
0:01:14 > 0:01:17- ..about his mental illness, - his depression...
0:01:17 > 0:01:18- ..I knew nothing about it.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20- I felt...
0:01:20 > 0:01:23- I felt I had let him down, - because I had no idea.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28- At the time, - that dark time in Matt's life...
0:01:28 > 0:01:31- ..we were best friends - and spent a lot of time together.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35- We talked about everything, - and I'm angry with myself...
0:01:35 > 0:01:40- ..for not realizing that it was - as serious as depression.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- Matt Johnson is a familiar face - throughout Britain...
0:01:59 > 0:02:02- ..who's presented - some of our most popular programmes.
0:02:02 > 0:02:07- As well as being a stalwart of - the ITV daily show This Morning...
0:02:07 > 0:02:12- ..Matt's also been one of the faces - of S4C's Welsh learners programming.
0:02:12 > 0:02:17- The warm and likeable character from - Caerphilly is loved by thousands.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20- A night out in Cardiff with Matt - can be nuts.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23- There's no other way to describe it.
0:02:23 > 0:02:28- Matt is a person who loves music - and has played in bands.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31- He likes a laugh.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33- He's a naughty boy!
0:02:35 > 0:02:38- Everyone knows him, - everyone wants selfies...
0:02:39 > 0:02:42- ..and you realize - that Matt is a celebrity.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49- The thing about Matt is - everybody likes Matt.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52- The only thing I ever thought - looking at Matt Johnson...
0:02:52 > 0:02:53- ..was jealousy!
0:02:54 > 0:02:56- I would just look at him and say...
0:02:56 > 0:03:01- .."It's not right that one - human being should look so well...
0:03:01 > 0:03:06- "..be so upbeat, nice and friendly - and be so good at their job."
0:03:08 > 0:03:11- I had no idea - what he was going through.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- None of us would have known.
0:03:15 > 0:03:16- Cheers, boss!
0:03:16 > 0:03:18- Just like old times!
0:03:28 > 0:03:34- It took me a while to speak honestly - about how I was feeling.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- To someone who gets paid every day - to talk...
0:03:40 > 0:03:42- ..that's completely nuts!
0:03:44 > 0:03:48- But talking about your feelings - is different.
0:03:49 > 0:03:50- That was very hard...
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- ..although it was probably - the best thing I ever did.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59- What was going on in my head - at the time...
0:03:59 > 0:04:02- ..is something - that's difficult to explain.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04- I'm this happy guy - from Caerphilly...
0:04:05 > 0:04:07- ..with a lovely family, - with great friends.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10- I was kind of sad - and I didn't know why.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14- The reason why I didn't reach out - or speak to anybody...
0:04:15 > 0:04:18- ..was because I didn't know - what was going on myself.
0:04:18 > 0:04:22- I was annoyed with myself - like most people are sometimes...
0:04:22 > 0:04:24- ..when you see somebody - with depression.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28- You think, snap out of it. - Everything's wonderful.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32- 1 in 4 of us will suffer - a mental illness at some point...
0:04:32 > 0:04:35- ..with depression - being the most common.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38- Depression - is a collection of symptoms.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42- One of the main symptoms - is feeling low in spirit.
0:04:42 > 0:04:48- Other symptoms are a lack of energy, - lack of interest in things...
0:04:48 > 0:04:53- ..and in young people specifically, - we often find irritability.
0:04:54 > 0:04:59- Other obvious symptoms are - lack of sleep, eating problems...
0:04:59 > 0:05:01- ..concentration problems...
0:05:01 > 0:05:05- ..and in extreme cases - we worry if people...
0:05:05 > 0:05:10- ..have the feeling of wanting to - self-harm and not wanting to exist.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15- It was ten years ago.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21- People just didn't talk - about depression then.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25- It wasn't the done thing at all.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28- No media discussion, no campaigns.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32- Maybe if there were things - out there...
0:05:32 > 0:05:36- ..to make people - more aware of mental health...
0:05:36 > 0:05:39- ..I would have sought help.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43- Hindsight, though, - is a wonderful thing.
0:05:46 > 0:05:47- At school in Caerphilly...
0:05:48 > 0:05:52- ..Matt was as comfortable on - the rugby pitch as he was on stage.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57- It soon became apparent that - he wanted to work in television.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59- After leaving school...
0:05:59 > 0:06:02- ..he started working as a runner - on Welsh drama series.
0:06:03 > 0:06:07- I knew I wanted to work - in entertainment...
0:06:07 > 0:06:09- ..as an actor and singer.
0:06:09 > 0:06:14- I'd fallen in love - with the TV world.
0:06:16 > 0:06:21- I know it sounds corny but it was - great to step into the Welsh world.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26- It was my first experience - of Welsh culture.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29- What's Welsh culture in Welsh?
0:06:30 > 0:06:31- Diwylliant Cymraeg.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33- Diwylliant Cymraeg.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- Diwylliant Cymraeg.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47- In 2004, - he joined Welsh boy band Max-N.
0:06:47 > 0:06:52- He got a taste of fame, - performing in front of thousands...
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- ..in places like Wembley Arena - with Girls Aloud.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59- I felt as though - I was part of something special.
0:07:00 > 0:07:01- We were rock stars.
0:07:02 > 0:07:03- "Rock stars".
0:07:05 > 0:07:07- # Every colour sparkling
0:07:07 > 0:07:10- # Walking down the street #
0:07:11 > 0:07:15- I'd never partied like this before - - drink, drink, drink.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18- Two gigs a night, - travelling everywhere.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21- Burning the candle at both ends - for sure.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26- # Give me faith, feelings of despair
0:07:27 > 0:07:29- # Nothing valuable comes easy #
0:07:31 > 0:07:37- After two years, the band split, and - finding work in television was hard.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41- During this period, - Matt started drinking heavily.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46- It felt like a little game.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48- I couldn't drive at the time...
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- ..so I didn't have any problems - with drink driving.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54- I was getting taxis and buses.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56- I was hiding - how hungover I was most days.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59- I was getting pretty good at that.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02- That was the little bit of control - that I had.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05- Looking back, knowing - what I know now about Matt...
0:08:06 > 0:08:08- ..maybe the signs were there...
0:08:08 > 0:08:12- ..maybe drinking a little too much, - like everyone in their 20s.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- Maybe this was a way - to hide any pain he had...
0:08:15 > 0:08:18- ..or a way - of taking the attention away...
0:08:18 > 0:08:21- ..from those things in his mind - that worried him.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23- I don't know. It's hard to say.
0:08:30 > 0:08:35- There was an element of - self-sabotage starting to come in.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37- I was drinking too much...
0:08:38 > 0:08:42- ..trying to hide my feelings - with alcohol.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52- I collapsed in Ammanford - after a night on the pop...
0:08:52 > 0:08:57- ..and fractured my cheekbone, - my nose and my jaw.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59- A complete mess.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07- The rollercoaster and fun - came to an end straight away.
0:09:08 > 0:09:13- This was the first time - I didn't feel superhuman.
0:09:13 > 0:09:14- I am not superhuman.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18- I could get injuries - like everyone else...
0:09:19 > 0:09:20- ..and...
0:09:20 > 0:09:25- ..and I felt scared - for the first time, ever.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32- I couldn't get out of bed.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35- I didn't want to speak to anyone.
0:09:36 > 0:09:37- I was stuttering...
0:09:37 > 0:09:41- ..when I was trying to speak - to somebody for some reason.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45- I pretty much - wanted to curl up in a little ball.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47- Into a ball.
0:09:49 > 0:09:50- I hated myself.
0:09:51 > 0:09:52- I didn't have any money.
0:09:53 > 0:09:59- I just had small jobs like - working in a pub and coffee shops.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03- This affected - my relationship at the time.
0:10:06 > 0:10:10- I just felt guilt, guilty.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14- I felt I was letting myself down...
0:10:14 > 0:10:16- ..and letting her down as well.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22- In the summer of 2009, - Matt's six-year relationship...
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- ..with TV presenter Alex Jones - came to an end.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30- The drinking continued, he was - thousands of pounds in debt...
0:10:30 > 0:10:33- ..and the depression took hold.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41- A few days before Christmas 2009...
0:10:41 > 0:10:45- ..he decided to escape - to his parents' apartment in Spain.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56- I got there - the worst rain - I've ever seen in Spain.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58- The TV wasn't working etc.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- I went to the local pub, - the local karaoke bar.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06- The measures in Spain - are pretty bad anyway...
0:11:06 > 0:11:11- ..but I got absolutely annihilated - and I don't know how I got home.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18- I drank a bottle of whisky...
0:11:19 > 0:11:22- ..went out to the balcony...
0:11:23 > 0:11:28- ..and thought everyone - would be better off if I jumped.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35- I couldn't believe - he'd reached such a dark place.
0:11:38 > 0:11:39- I felt for him.
0:11:43 > 0:11:48- I remember him saying - he didn't have any options.
0:11:48 > 0:11:54- The only way out of this hole - was to jump from the balcony.
0:11:55 > 0:12:01- For someone to reach that point, - something was obviously very wrong.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- I'd run out of ideas.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10- I felt like I had no other option.
0:12:10 > 0:12:15- I couldn't bear the thought of four - years or more of feeling sad...
0:12:16 > 0:12:17- ..and no way out...
0:12:19 > 0:12:21- ..and not liking who I was.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26- It's hard to put yourself - in that position...
0:12:26 > 0:12:29- ..where someone's at such a low ebb, - there's no hope.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34- That's despite - having a fantastic family...
0:12:34 > 0:12:36- ..and Matt has a great family.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39- And good friends, obviously.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42- Seriously, - Matt has a special group of friends.
0:12:42 > 0:12:48- It's hard to believe that wasn't - enough for him at the time.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51- I just can't imagine - - that's what's difficult.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53- I can't identify with that.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56- You must be in an awful place - to think like that.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02- Then I cried...
0:13:03 > 0:13:07- ..because I knew - I wasn't going to do it.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12- That feeling of numbness.
0:13:13 > 0:13:14- That feeling...
0:13:14 > 0:13:20- ..of internal resentment, - pain and anger towards yourself.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24- For that to be released, - I felt it straight away...
0:13:25 > 0:13:27- ..the outpouring was incredible.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32- I could not believe - how lucky I was...
0:13:32 > 0:13:36- ..because so many people out there - do commit suicide.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37- They get to that point.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40- I can't imagine - what that point's like.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43- I was there, - and that was bad enough.
0:13:43 > 0:13:49- That part there, I dread to think - what that must be like.
0:13:49 > 0:13:50- Unbelievable.
0:13:54 > 0:13:59- The next day, Matt travelled home - to spend Christmas with his family.
0:14:03 > 0:14:03- .
0:14:04 > 0:14:04- Subtitles
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0:14:09 > 0:14:11- I came home on Christmas Eve...
0:14:13 > 0:14:16- ..with a massive hangover, - obviously.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18- I also had a sense of euphoria...
0:14:20 > 0:14:21- ..this weird adrenaline.
0:14:22 > 0:14:27- Knowing that I wanted to live life - and get better felt amazing.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31- It felt like the tunnel was opening - slightly. That's not a lie.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34- It felt like - it was getting lighter.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40- That was the first time in a very - long time I was aware of things.
0:14:41 > 0:14:42- I was...
0:14:43 > 0:14:45- I was present in that moment.
0:14:49 > 0:14:54- In the new year, I decided - to run the London Marathon...
0:14:55 > 0:14:57- ..to give myself focus.
0:14:57 > 0:15:01- I'd started to be more sociable.
0:15:01 > 0:15:06- I felt - I was having my best sleep ever.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10- Like I was...
0:15:11 > 0:15:16- Like I had just been hatched - after a well-rested 30,000 years!
0:15:16 > 0:15:20- Soon after, - Matt appeared on Cariad@Iaith...
0:15:20 > 0:15:23- ..S4C's new Welsh learners series.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26- It was a chance for him - to polish his Welsh.
0:15:26 > 0:15:27- Would you like a Welsh cake?
0:15:27 > 0:15:29- Would you like a Welsh cake?- - I'm fine, thanks.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31- What's your phone number?
0:15:34 > 0:15:38- But behind the smile, he was still - suffering bouts of depression.
0:15:39 > 0:15:43- A time came - when things got a bit better.
0:15:44 > 0:15:45- Work was going well.
0:15:46 > 0:15:51- My personal and financial situation - was getting better.
0:15:51 > 0:15:56- But I still felt the same inside...
0:15:56 > 0:15:58- ..sad and tired.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01- I just couldn't shake that cloud.
0:16:04 > 0:16:09- I worked with Matt for a while, - but back and forth over time.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13- We always had fun. We'd pull each - other's leg and have a real laugh.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16- But then there were times, - I sensed...
0:16:16 > 0:16:19- I sensed a kind of heaviness.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22- Sadness is the word, maybe.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24- Something wasn't quite right.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29- It's hard when someone's doing a job - of work presenting a programme...
0:16:29 > 0:16:31- ..so we're happy and jolly...
0:16:31 > 0:16:34- ..but then, - in the periods in between...
0:16:34 > 0:16:37- ..we'd grab ten minutes - where I would ask if he was OK.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41- Good evening and welcome - to the final of Cariad@Iaith.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45- TV presenting is the best job - to have for me personally...
0:16:46 > 0:16:48- ..so I can hide - however I'm feeling.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50- You're in charge a little bit.
0:16:50 > 0:16:54- You're supposed to project a - magnified version of your happiness.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56- It's the perfect cover.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00- I remember one time - having a coffee with you...
0:17:01 > 0:17:04- ..and I think - I was in such a state of anxiety.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08- I'd been drinking, I think, - for four weeks solid.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12- You just very calmly and easily - said, "Be kind to yourself."
0:17:12 > 0:17:14- It really stuck with me.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16- It's stayed with me.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- It really - had a massive effect on me.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22- Something simple but so important.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25- It's interesting to hear Matt say...
0:17:26 > 0:17:30- ..that anything I've said - has ever helped him in any way...
0:17:31 > 0:17:33- ..because, - I just think I was a friend.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36- I was worried about him.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39- But maybe people are reluctant...
0:17:39 > 0:17:42- ..to ask that simple question - - are you OK?
0:17:46 > 0:17:50- Men are 6 times less likely - than women...
0:17:50 > 0:17:53- ..to seek help - for their suicidal thoughts.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00- Dealing with his depression - was a long process for Matt.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02- The first difficult step...
0:18:02 > 0:18:05- ..was to learn to speak openly - about his feelings.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09- I lived in Cardiff. - My parents were in Caerphilly.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12- I probably saw them - four times a year.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16- If you've been on a bender - for three months...
0:18:16 > 0:18:19- ..the last thing you want - is your mam coming round...
0:18:20 > 0:18:23- ..clacking through bottles - and seeing her son on the sofa.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26- I pushed them away. Definitely.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29- At the time, - I really wish I'd spoken to my dad.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33- I really, really wish, - because he would have understood.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36- My father's - been through things in the past...
0:18:36 > 0:18:40- ..so he could probably relate - to a few things I was going through.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44- He's a very good listener - and a really good talker.
0:18:45 > 0:18:46- He's a smart guy.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49- So three years after - my really bad time...
0:18:49 > 0:18:52- ..is when we first - started to talk about it.
0:18:52 > 0:18:57- Matt's father Gary - was an undercover detective.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00- For over 20 years, - he has suffered with depression.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05- It's an illness he kept a secret...
0:19:05 > 0:19:08- ..and which finally - brought his career to an end.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14- This is the first time he's - spoken openly about his experiences.
0:19:16 > 0:19:21- I started suffering when I was in a - red-blooded job in the police force.
0:19:21 > 0:19:27- The roles I was involved in - were things like the drugs squad.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31- They were men's men, - big, strong men doing a hard job.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35- I was in a dark place, I know I was. - I didn't want to go to work.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38- I actually lied - because of the stigma attached.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41- I told the police force - I had a bad back.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45- I was not going to talk - or admit that to the world then.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48- In fact, I've never ever - talked about it publicly.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50- You are the most...
0:19:50 > 0:19:55- I talked to you because of the - bond we've got with mental health.
0:19:55 > 0:19:59- I was suffering, and still am.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02- A lot of facts have come out...
0:20:03 > 0:20:05- ..through - talking to members of the family...
0:20:06 > 0:20:08- ..and to find out tragic stories...
0:20:08 > 0:20:11- ..particularly - my grandmother's side of the family.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14- My father went for a walk - with an uncle...
0:20:14 > 0:20:17- ..for miles - up a disused railway line.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19- He was told, - "You can go home now, son."
0:20:19 > 0:20:22- He said, "Are you coming with me?"
0:20:22 > 0:20:25- "No, you go. Run along now. - Go home." He did.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28- He later find out - that his uncle had hung himself.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31- That's the sort of thing - my dad dealt with.
0:20:32 > 0:20:33- He kept it all inside.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36- He suppressed it all terribly, - didn't he?
0:20:36 > 0:20:37- He hid behind the newspaper.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39- He hid behind the newspaper.- - Terrible.
0:20:39 > 0:20:44- He wasn't able to communicate with - men either. With you, me or Adam.
0:20:44 > 0:20:48- He was a very tough guy - and that was his downfall.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51- His conversations - were limited to rugby.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54- The things - that were common to his audience.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56- Kept them at arm's length.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00- Many a time when I took your mother - back when we were courting...
0:21:00 > 0:21:03- ..he'd put up the paper, - and, yes, he appeared ignorant...
0:21:04 > 0:21:04- ..but he was screening everything.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06- ..but he was screening everything.- - He was hiding.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09- My dad said at one stage, - "You're feeling sorry for yourself.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12- "And if you're a man, - you can shake it off.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15- "You haven't got a cut - to put a plaster on.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18- "You haven't got a broken leg - to put a cast on.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21- "You are invisibly suffering."
0:21:24 > 0:21:27- Talking to my dad then - was just unbelievable.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30- That's the first time - he's really talked in detail...
0:21:30 > 0:21:34- ..and so well about his mental - illness and how he's lived with it.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39- His own family tree and how - he thinks it's part of his DNA...
0:21:40 > 0:21:44- ..because of his great-grandmother - - she committed suicide.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47- His grandmother's brother - committed suicide.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48- I didn't know that.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51- This is all news to me. - Brand-new stuff.
0:21:51 > 0:21:55- I've been absolutely blown away - today by his bravery...
0:21:55 > 0:21:59- ..and been shocked - by his stubbornness.
0:22:00 > 0:22:01- It's opened my mind...
0:22:02 > 0:22:05- ..to get into the mind of somebody - that works in that world...
0:22:06 > 0:22:09- ..a police officer, somebody - that's tough, a joker, a lad.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11- There's millions of them down there.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14- The Valleys - are full of people like that.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21- By 2030, the World Health - Organization predicts...
0:22:21 > 0:22:23- ..that more people in the world...
0:22:23 > 0:22:27- ..will be suffering from depression - than any other illness.
0:22:27 > 0:22:32- In 2010, Matt, who was starting to - learn to live with his depression...
0:22:32 > 0:22:36- ..got a job as a presenter - on ITV's This Morning show...
0:22:36 > 0:22:38- ..his first big break.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41- I was finally doing - what I wanted to do.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43- I was having such a laugh.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47- The whole team - was getting on really well.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53- I was making the most - out of living in the city.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56- I was going out nearly every night.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00- The only drawback to the job - was having to get up early.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10- One part of his illness - that has worried him daily...
0:23:10 > 0:23:12- ..is his battle with sleep.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18- During the darkest time...
0:23:18 > 0:23:21- ..I pretty much had insomnia - for three to four months...
0:23:22 > 0:23:24- ..which really messes - with your brain.
0:23:28 > 0:23:29- I used to drink a lot.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32- That's the only way - I could get to sleep.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41- National Centre for Mental Health
0:23:41 > 0:23:45- The National Centre - for Mental Health in Cardiff...
0:23:45 > 0:23:47- ..are using a special watch...
0:23:48 > 0:23:52- ..to research into the link between - lack of sleep and depression.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56- To control his sleeping problems, - Matt's taking part in the research.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00- How accurate are these watches?
0:24:00 > 0:24:02- I'll put it on while you explain.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04- I'll put it on while you explain.- - They can be quite accurate.
0:24:04 > 0:24:08- You'll also be doing a mood diary - as well as a sleep diary.
0:24:08 > 0:24:12- We'll then be able to look at - what you've said in those diaries...
0:24:12 > 0:24:14- ..what the watch has said...
0:24:14 > 0:24:18- ..and if there are any relationships - between your sleep and mood.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22- The watch might make me anxious! - The watch is spying on me!
0:24:22 > 0:24:25- I'll do what I can - for this to work...
0:24:25 > 0:24:28- ..and for you to find out - whatever you need to find out.
0:24:30 > 0:24:35- The watch can't measure how deep - Matt's sleep is or its quality.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38- For that, he'll have to wear - a special cap for one night...
0:24:39 > 0:24:41- ..to measure his brain activity.
0:24:43 > 0:24:49- The cap will show how long Matt - spends in the four stages of sleep.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52- Specifically, - the length of his deep sleep...
0:24:53 > 0:24:57- ..the most important stage - for a healthy mind and body.
0:24:59 > 0:25:04- The results could have a huge impact - on Matt's way of life.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- Excuse me! Goodnight!
0:25:13 > 0:25:13- .
0:25:17 > 0:25:17- Subtitles
0:25:17 > 0:25:19- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:25:22 > 0:25:24- Over the last few years...
0:25:24 > 0:25:28- ..Matt's found a way - of living with his depression.
0:25:29 > 0:25:34- A series of small steps such as - keeping fit and eating healthily.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37- To him, - these small steps are crucial...
0:25:37 > 0:25:40- ..to ensure - he keeps his mind healthy.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45- I have to force myself to slow down.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49- To switch off the phone, - just be in the moment.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52- I've got to do these little things.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57- One topic that's quite often raised - talking to Matt...
0:25:57 > 0:26:01- ..is the techniques he uses - to cope with his mental health.
0:26:01 > 0:26:02- He knows all the tricks!
0:26:03 > 0:26:04- They sound so simple.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07- Keeping fit, - going for a run or a jog.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09- Doing that - releases chemicals in the body...
0:26:10 > 0:26:12- ..that makes a person feel better.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15- They are things - that everyone can do...
0:26:15 > 0:26:19- ..to try to keep the dark clouds, - or those low points, at bay.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27- Matt's come back - to see researcher Katie Lewis.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29- He hopes - that the sleep test results...
0:26:29 > 0:26:33- ..will provide another way - of dealing with his depression.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37- I see from your sleep patterns - that your sleep's quite erratic.
0:26:37 > 0:26:41- You're going to sleep - at different times of the day...
0:26:41 > 0:26:45- ..usually very late - - three, five or six in the morning.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48- The problem - with your erratic sleep pattern...
0:26:49 > 0:26:51- ..is that - you're giving yourself jet lag.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56- You're telling your body clock - it's shift time zones.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00- When you are sleeping, - the quality isn't very good.
0:27:00 > 0:27:04- You've rated it yourself as - being quite low - 2 or 3 out of 10.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07- This is mirrored - in what we saw in your EEG.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10- We can see - from your brain activity...
0:27:10 > 0:27:14- ..that you spend a lot of time - in light sleep.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17- This is common - for people with depression.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20- The long-term impact of having - a variable sleep schedule...
0:27:21 > 0:27:23- ..and not having - very refreshing sleeps...
0:27:23 > 0:27:27- ..are they can impact - our physical and mental health.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31- Putting all this information - together...
0:27:31 > 0:27:34- ..it looks like - you're chronically sleep deprived.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37- Right. So how do I improve my sleep?
0:27:37 > 0:27:40- Make sure - you have a regular routine.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44- Make sure you try to get up - at the same time every day...
0:27:44 > 0:27:47- ..and that you eat your meals - at the same time.
0:27:47 > 0:27:51- All of that helps - to synchronize your main body clock.
0:27:51 > 0:27:55- Avoid bright lights, alcohol and - caffeine in the hours before bed.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59- No phones for an hour - before I go to bed, no TV?
0:28:00 > 0:28:02- No. Just things that are relaxing.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05- It does seem - the warning signs are there...
0:28:05 > 0:28:08- ..that this is something - you really should address.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17- That was hard to hear.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20- I'm in such a bad habit - with my sleeping.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25- Having science back this up...
0:28:25 > 0:28:27- ..has really made me think.
0:28:27 > 0:28:30- I have to change my ways.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39- One of Matt's friends - is Tom Fletcher...
0:28:39 > 0:28:43- ..from the world-famous bands - McFly and McBusted.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46- Lately, he has spoken publicly...
0:28:47 > 0:28:51- ..about his battle with depression - and bipolar disorder.
0:28:53 > 0:28:56- Like Matt, - he's had sleeping problems...
0:28:57 > 0:29:01- ..but speaking about his experiences - has been a great solace to him.
0:29:03 > 0:29:08- I can honestly say - it's been 100% positive.
0:29:09 > 0:29:12- I can't think of an instance where - there was a negative reaction...
0:29:13 > 0:29:15- ..to me being - more open about mental health...
0:29:16 > 0:29:18- ..or sharing my own experiences.
0:29:19 > 0:29:21- One of the things - I was worried about...
0:29:21 > 0:29:25- ..was that by going to get help - and speaking to someone...
0:29:25 > 0:29:29- ..and taking medication, - that I would lose...
0:29:30 > 0:29:32- Was it this kind of mania...
0:29:32 > 0:29:34- Was it this kind of mania...- - Your creative edge.
0:29:34 > 0:29:37- Yes, was it like a superpower...
0:29:38 > 0:29:42- ..and the downside - was the intense dark periods.
0:29:42 > 0:29:46- Growing up in the public eye - adds a certain amount of pressure.
0:29:47 > 0:29:50- You get so excited about this album - and taking over the world.
0:29:50 > 0:29:53- Even though, when I look back...
0:29:53 > 0:29:56- ..we were No.1, - we had sell-out tours and things...
0:29:57 > 0:30:01- ..you can't help feel that my dreams - were far bigger than that.
0:30:02 > 0:30:05- These crazy, unrealistic, - unachievable things.
0:30:05 > 0:30:10- When they didn't happen, that would - send me off to these dark places.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12- Sleep was a big thing. - I never slept.
0:30:13 > 0:30:15- I feel so stupid talking about this!
0:30:15 > 0:30:19- I was terrified of aliens. - I know this sounds really silly.
0:30:20 > 0:30:22- The term paralysed with fear...
0:30:22 > 0:30:26- ..that was me for 90% of my life - at night time.
0:30:27 > 0:30:29- I'd get myself into such a state...
0:30:29 > 0:30:32- ..where I couldn't even get out - to turn the light on...
0:30:33 > 0:30:36- ..to get a drink or move enough - to pull the covers up.
0:30:36 > 0:30:39- I was terrified so I never slept.
0:30:39 > 0:30:44- I was just angry, miserable, - emotional, unreasonable.
0:30:45 > 0:30:47- You can't see - light at the end of the tunnel...
0:30:47 > 0:30:50- ..and you don't even - want to look for it.
0:30:50 > 0:30:53- That's what I found anyway - - you're so consumed by this misery.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57- So 30,000-40,000 people - couldn't gee you up?
0:30:57 > 0:30:58- No, definitely not.
0:30:58 > 0:31:03- I would be a moody so-and-so - onstage, hating life, hating myself.
0:31:03 > 0:31:05- I can't imagine that.
0:31:05 > 0:31:06- Almost resenting...
0:31:07 > 0:31:10- ..this amazing - and incredible opportunity...
0:31:10 > 0:31:12- ..and feeling like you resent it.
0:31:13 > 0:31:18- Depression affects 300 million - people, of all ages, worldwide
0:31:21 > 0:31:24- After hiding his depression - for years...
0:31:24 > 0:31:28- ..in the summer of 2013, Matt told - his story to a national magazine.
0:31:28 > 0:31:33- Until that point, he hadn't told - anyone about that moment in Spain.
0:31:33 > 0:31:35- Not even his parents.
0:31:36 > 0:31:40- When he went public, - he actually rang me and said...
0:31:41 > 0:31:45- .."Dad, tomorrow they are putting - this piece in the magazine.
0:31:45 > 0:31:47- "It's something about my life."
0:31:48 > 0:31:50- I said, "You told me, son.
0:31:50 > 0:31:53- "You told me a few years ago - on that veranda."
0:31:54 > 0:31:55- He was shocked.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58- We were actually on the veranda - in Spain...
0:31:58 > 0:32:01- ..where he was contemplating - ending his life.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04- He told me when he was drunk - and he didn't remember.
0:32:04 > 0:32:08- I remember the morning - I read about Matt's story.
0:32:09 > 0:32:11- It was a huge shock to the system.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13- I could not believe it at all.
0:32:14 > 0:32:18- Hearing it had got so far, - so dark, so horrific.
0:32:19 > 0:32:22- Even thinking...
0:32:23 > 0:32:28- ..about Matt considering doing - something so horrific is awful.
0:32:28 > 0:32:30- But to try to commit suicide...
0:32:30 > 0:32:35- ..well, you won't get anything worse - than that about your best friend.
0:32:35 > 0:32:39- Obviously, the first thing - I wanted to do was phone Matt...
0:32:39 > 0:32:41- ..just to make sure he was OK.
0:32:44 > 0:32:46- You think you know some people...
0:32:47 > 0:32:49- Matt was also keen - to speak openly...
0:32:49 > 0:32:53- ..to the millions of This Morning - viewers and his colleagues.
0:32:54 > 0:32:58- My colleagues always saw me as - a happy, lively, happy-go-lucky guy.
0:32:58 > 0:33:02- And now I was going to have - to discuss my illness...
0:33:02 > 0:33:06- ..and explain that there was - another side to Matt Johnson.
0:33:07 > 0:33:11- Eamonn and Ruth - were fantastic with me.
0:33:11 > 0:33:12- I was so surprised.
0:33:12 > 0:33:15- Never, ever would I - have put you in that bracket.
0:33:15 > 0:33:18- Never did I think - you had troubles like that.
0:33:18 > 0:33:23- You were either over it - or were really good at masking it.
0:33:23 > 0:33:26- I reckon it's the second - rather than the first...
0:33:26 > 0:33:32- ..because doing what we do, - it's the most insecure profession.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35- You are constantly judged - and criticized...
0:33:35 > 0:33:39- ..you rely - on people's praise or otherwise.
0:33:39 > 0:33:40- Approval.
0:33:40 > 0:33:42- Approval.- - Approval. All the time.
0:33:43 > 0:33:46- Of course that affects your mood.
0:33:46 > 0:33:49- Social media, - what the public think of you...
0:33:49 > 0:33:51- ..and how newspapers review you.
0:33:51 > 0:33:54- So you are in a tough environment...
0:33:54 > 0:33:58- ..for someone who doesn't feel - too strong and stable at times.
0:33:59 > 0:34:01- But did I ever pick that up - with you? No.
0:34:01 > 0:34:03- Matt was happy-go-lucky.
0:34:04 > 0:34:08- If I could come back in a second - life, I'd like to come back as you!
0:34:08 > 0:34:10- That's what a lot of people said...
0:34:10 > 0:34:14- ..it was more of a "what the hell - has he got to be depressed about?"
0:34:15 > 0:34:19- Talking to someone - can be therapy in itself.
0:34:20 > 0:34:25- So what we need is more awareness, - in particular among men...
0:34:25 > 0:34:30- ..and in people whose jobs mean - there's pressure to be strong...
0:34:30 > 0:34:34- ..so they feel - there's someone there for them.
0:34:34 > 0:34:38- GPs receive training - about depression...
0:34:38 > 0:34:40- ..and in dealing with depression.
0:34:40 > 0:34:45- It's a more common problem - than we think.
0:34:46 > 0:34:49- Over 300 people commit suicide - in Wales every year...
0:34:50 > 0:34:54- ..with 4 times as many men - than women killing themselves
0:34:56 > 0:34:57- Olympic Park, London
0:34:57 > 0:34:59- Nowadays, Matt is passionate...
0:35:00 > 0:35:03- ..about the need to encourage others - to speak out and seek help.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07- In 2014, - he became an ambassador for Mind...
0:35:07 > 0:35:11- ..the charity which aims to - raise awareness and understanding...
0:35:11 > 0:35:13- ..of mental health problems.
0:35:14 > 0:35:17- Today, he's filming - a new campaign for Mind.
0:35:17 > 0:35:20- Congratulations - on passing your first challenge.
0:35:20 > 0:35:24- Now it's on to the second. - We're in this together. Let's do it!
0:35:24 > 0:35:28- The great thing about Matt - is even though he's suffering...
0:35:28 > 0:35:31- ..he's the first to ask others - if everything's OK.
0:35:31 > 0:35:32- He has that empathy.
0:35:33 > 0:35:36- I think the illness - has given him that quality...
0:35:36 > 0:35:40- ..that he's maybe more sensitive - and more ready to help.
0:35:40 > 0:35:44- That's obvious in the fact that - he wants to share his story now...
0:35:44 > 0:35:46- ..and that he feels this urge...
0:35:46 > 0:35:51- ..to make sure there is an open - discussion about mental health...
0:35:51 > 0:35:53- ..and that people do speak about it.
0:35:54 > 0:35:55- I'm very proud of him for that.
0:35:56 > 0:35:59- Fair play, - it's a brave and brilliant thing.
0:36:01 > 0:36:01- .
0:36:04 > 0:36:04- Subtitles
0:36:04 > 0:36:06- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:36:11 > 0:36:15- As a Mind ambassador, I've spoken - to a lot of young people.
0:36:15 > 0:36:20- There is a lot more pressure - on them these days.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24- They have to look good, - do well in school...
0:36:25 > 0:36:27- ..be successful - in everything they do.
0:36:28 > 0:36:32- And with social media, it's - nearly impossible to switch off.
0:36:32 > 0:36:38- 50% of cases of mental illness have - started by the time a child is 14
0:36:45 > 0:36:48- The welfare and development team - at Plasmawr School...
0:36:48 > 0:36:50- ..headed by Catrin Pallot...
0:36:50 > 0:36:53- ..prioritizes pupil welfare - within the school.
0:36:54 > 0:36:58- With the pressure on children - to achieve academically...
0:36:58 > 0:37:02- ..with all these steps that measure - success within schools these days...
0:37:03 > 0:37:07- ..I think it's important we - place greater emphasis on welfare.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10- I'm lucky in my job that - I get to meet lots of young people.
0:37:10 > 0:37:13- Sadly, I come across - a lot of young people...
0:37:13 > 0:37:16- ..who are going through - difficult periods...
0:37:16 > 0:37:20- ..a period of mental illness, - who are frustrated, low and anxious.
0:37:23 > 0:37:27- The school encourages the children - not to be afraid to talk openly...
0:37:28 > 0:37:30- ..and to face their worries head on.
0:37:30 > 0:37:34- They are also working hard - at eradicating the stigma...
0:37:34 > 0:37:36- ..which exists around boys.
0:37:36 > 0:37:41- The majority of students I support - are girls. Why do you think that is?
0:37:41 > 0:37:44- Boys wouldn't have the confidence - to go to you...
0:37:45 > 0:37:47- ..or do anything about it.
0:37:47 > 0:37:53- Boys worry more - about what other people think.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56- Discussing problems, - even small things...
0:37:56 > 0:37:59- ..is rooted in girls' upbringing...
0:37:59 > 0:38:04- ..but with boys there's a stereotype - that they have to be strong...
0:38:04 > 0:38:09- ..and not show any feelings, - which has now become a norm.
0:38:10 > 0:38:14- In society, - boys our age don't open up.
0:38:14 > 0:38:16- They think it isn't cool.
0:38:17 > 0:38:19- I'm lucky in this school...
0:38:19 > 0:38:23- ..I've been able to play rugby - and be in musicals.
0:38:24 > 0:38:27- I think the reason - boys think they have to be manly...
0:38:27 > 0:38:32- ..is because these days, everyone - is on the Web, everyones online.
0:38:33 > 0:38:36- Everyone's on Snapchat, - Instagram, Facebook...
0:38:36 > 0:38:38- ..so I think it's had an effect.
0:38:38 > 0:38:41- Boys think - people are going to see them online.
0:38:42 > 0:38:45- Increasingly in schools, - there's the pastoral side.
0:38:45 > 0:38:49- The staff on the pastoral side - have to deal more and more...
0:38:49 > 0:38:53- ..with the strain - that social media places on schools.
0:38:53 > 0:38:57- I am deeply, deeply worried - professionally and personally...
0:38:57 > 0:38:59- ..about young people.
0:38:59 > 0:39:03- The things they face these days - are really hard. There is no escape.
0:39:03 > 0:39:07- When I was in school, - if someone was nasty to you...
0:39:07 > 0:39:10- ..you would go home and that's it.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12- There is no escape nowadays.
0:39:12 > 0:39:15- That Snapchat is there - in the middle of the night.
0:39:15 > 0:39:20- Unless every parent knows exactly - what their child is doing...
0:39:20 > 0:39:23- ..it is very difficult - to control the situation.
0:39:24 > 0:39:26- Parents say - that teenage boys don't talk.
0:39:27 > 0:39:30- They lock themselves in - their bedroom. But they talk to me.
0:39:30 > 0:39:35- So how can parents help young men - to be open about their feelings?
0:39:35 > 0:39:40- Our parents were all raised - in the last generation...
0:39:40 > 0:39:42- ..where things were even worse.
0:39:42 > 0:39:46- There's some kind of momentum - as far as men are concerned.
0:39:46 > 0:39:50- The danger is - that it carries on with us.
0:39:51 > 0:39:55- However, stopping that with - the momentum that it's created...
0:39:55 > 0:39:59- ..you're talking about the media and - everything, will be a tough task.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03- How do we break that pattern then?
0:40:04 > 0:40:06- With support at home.
0:40:07 > 0:40:08- It can be something as simple...
0:40:09 > 0:40:12- ..as parents asking their child - about their day and so on.
0:40:12 > 0:40:15- They can choose - to be honest about it...
0:40:15 > 0:40:19- ..but then people need to understand - that it can be a huge help...
0:40:19 > 0:40:23- ..to talk about it with someone, - especially with your parents.
0:40:24 > 0:40:27- I think it's important - that schools are very open.
0:40:27 > 0:40:31- We are an inclusive community. We - try to give all our pupils a voice.
0:40:31 > 0:40:35- We celebrate diversity - so that everyone feels they belong.
0:40:35 > 0:40:39- Give pupils a chance to trust in - and share their worries...
0:40:39 > 0:40:41- ..with other pupils - rather than adults.
0:40:41 > 0:40:46- It's often the young people - who have the answers, not us adults.
0:40:46 > 0:40:50- Boys, you've blown me away. - It's been an incredible experience.
0:40:50 > 0:40:55- It's really opened my eyes. When I - was in school, this never happened.
0:40:55 > 0:40:58- It's inspirational.
0:40:59 > 0:41:02- When I was in school, - boys didn't talk.
0:41:02 > 0:41:08- Now I can quite clearly see - that things have happily moved on.
0:41:08 > 0:41:11- So thank you very much - and keep moving forward.
0:41:14 > 0:41:18- At Cardiff University, - psychiatrist Dr Rhys Bevan Jones...
0:41:18 > 0:41:22- ..is creating a website to help - young people and their families....
0:41:23 > 0:41:27- ..to understand and deal with - mental issues such as depression.
0:41:27 > 0:41:29- It's another development...
0:41:29 > 0:41:33- ..that will help to encourage - dialogue and remove stigma.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36- When you go into the package...
0:41:36 > 0:41:41- ..you see a colourful welcome - screen, not too many words...
0:41:41 > 0:41:47- ..with characters that use metaphors - to describe depression.
0:41:51 > 0:41:55- Among the metaphors used - is the black dog.
0:41:56 > 0:41:59- People also use metaphors - to do with the weather...
0:41:59 > 0:42:02- ..such as there's fog in their head.
0:42:02 > 0:42:05- Also, things like - having a monster inside them.
0:42:07 > 0:42:11- This is important - because it's really difficult...
0:42:12 > 0:42:15- ..to get your feelings and emotions - and put them into words.
0:42:16 > 0:42:17- So, very good.
0:42:19 > 0:42:21- Another exciting development - in Cardiff...
0:42:22 > 0:42:26- ..is the pioneering research into - the role of genes in mental illness.
0:42:26 > 0:42:30- Now knowing more about the family - history of depression and suicide...
0:42:31 > 0:42:34- ..Matt and his family - have been invited to take part.
0:42:34 > 0:42:38- The hope is - developing new treatments.
0:42:39 > 0:42:43- But for Matt, talking - has been a very important therapy...
0:42:43 > 0:42:46- ..while learning to live - with depression.
0:42:46 > 0:42:51- I've never really - come to terms with it.
0:42:51 > 0:42:54- I'm still looking for answers.
0:42:55 > 0:42:59- I'm still on medication. - I have been for 17, 18 years now.
0:43:00 > 0:43:06- But, I'm happy that, maybe, - I'm not so much a lost cause.
0:43:06 > 0:43:08- I think this documentary...
0:43:08 > 0:43:11- ..what you are doing now - making it more public...
0:43:12 > 0:43:13- ..making it more...
0:43:13 > 0:43:16- ..that there is a way out - for people.
0:43:17 > 0:43:19- If someone came to me for advice...
0:43:19 > 0:43:24- ..I would probably give them advice - that I should be giving myself!
0:43:24 > 0:43:28- When you had the confidence to tell - me, "There's something wrong"...
0:43:29 > 0:43:31- ..I probably was better to you - than to myself.
0:43:31 > 0:43:33- It's been difficult.
0:43:33 > 0:43:36- I came through that era - where I hid it for so long.
0:43:36 > 0:43:37- It becomes a habit.
0:43:37 > 0:43:40- It becomes a habit.- - It becomes a habit to do things.
0:43:40 > 0:43:43- You do know that - with everything that I do...
0:43:44 > 0:43:45- ..and I...
0:43:52 > 0:43:54- I want to help everybody.
0:43:55 > 0:43:56- But all the...
0:43:57 > 0:43:58- Shit!
0:44:06 > 0:44:09- Take your time. Take your time.
0:44:10 > 0:44:11- It's hard hearing that, Dad.
0:44:12 > 0:44:18- All the marathons, fundraising - and the documentary...
0:44:18 > 0:44:21- ..is 'cos I want one person - to help themselves.
0:44:25 > 0:44:26- As much as everybody.
0:44:29 > 0:44:30- So you saying that...
0:44:33 > 0:44:37- ..gives me something, because - that's what I want you to think.
0:44:37 > 0:44:41- I want you to practise what you - preach. It's really important to me.
0:44:41 > 0:44:46- You're the example of why men - don't talk and why they should talk.
0:44:47 > 0:44:50- Will you promise me - that you'll do that too?
0:44:50 > 0:44:54- I've got to. I can't sit down - and listen to you crying about it.
0:44:54 > 0:44:58- Shall we take this dog for a walk? - Can I have a cuddle first?!
0:45:06 > 0:45:09- I've spent a lot of time - with Matt and his family.
0:45:09 > 0:45:13- They are a lovely, close group, - they enjoy each others company.
0:45:14 > 0:45:18- The only way for things to get - better is to be open and honest.
0:45:18 > 0:45:20- Seeing that happening is great.
0:45:23 > 0:45:26- The most important thing - to give people...
0:45:26 > 0:45:29- ..is just to check in on them - to see if they're OK.
0:45:29 > 0:45:32- We all go through tough times - in our lives.
0:45:32 > 0:45:35- If we do, - doing those little things...
0:45:35 > 0:45:39- ..knocking on the door, - sending a text, phoning them...
0:45:39 > 0:45:43- ..taking them a bunch of flowers - or just saying a kind word...
0:45:43 > 0:45:45- ..can transform someone's day.
0:45:45 > 0:45:47- Doing those little things.
0:45:51 > 0:45:55- It's quite overwhelming the amount - of messages you get on social media.
0:45:55 > 0:46:00- But, for some reason, anything about - mental health seems to catch my eye.
0:46:00 > 0:46:03- I always take a bit more time...
0:46:03 > 0:46:07- ..and I'm a bit more caring - in what I'm saying back...
0:46:07 > 0:46:09- ..to someone - who's taken that step to be open.
0:46:11 > 0:46:14- Just simply by sharing - what we've been through...
0:46:14 > 0:46:16- ..if that can do some good - for one person...
0:46:17 > 0:46:20- ..then it's kind of - our responsibility to do that.
0:46:25 > 0:46:31- If I could go back - to the young 27-year-old Matt...
0:46:31 > 0:46:35- ..living alone in his apartment...
0:46:36 > 0:46:42- ..I would tell him - to just be kind to himself.
0:46:42 > 0:46:47- More importantly, - go and talk to somebody.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25- S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.
0:47:25 > 0:47:25- .