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0:00:03 > 0:00:07- Yes, this is a series - about the menopause.
0:00:07 > 0:00:11- Don't you dare change the channel! - It affects us all.
0:00:13 > 0:00:14- Yes, men too.
0:00:16 > 0:00:19- I'm 53 now. - I should be prepared for it.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23- But I don't have a clue - what to expect.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26- I'm determined to learn more.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29- From women's experiences...
0:00:29 > 0:00:33- You don't need the pill - or anything else. Just enjoy life.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36- ..the treatments available...
0:00:36 > 0:00:39- Some men don't want to know.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42- They don't know - about their wives' symptoms.
0:00:42 > 0:00:46- ..and how older women - worldwide deal with it.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48- I felt I was going nuts at times.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52- This thing, - the change, the menopause.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54- Don't put that in!
0:00:54 > 0:00:55- Don't put that in!- - I can't say it!
0:00:58 > 0:01:02- Whatever you call it, - I'm going to understand it.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14- We know that - the menopause is the time...
0:01:15 > 0:01:19- ..when women's periods - and childbearing years end.
0:01:19 > 0:01:23- We've heard about symptoms, - like sweating and hot flushes.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28- But there's one subject - we haven't touched yet.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34- What do we all want to know?
0:01:35 > 0:01:38- How does the menopause affect sex?
0:01:40 > 0:01:41- Sex.
0:01:50 > 0:01:51- Right!
0:01:52 > 0:01:54- That's enough, stop that.
0:01:54 > 0:01:59- The menopause can cause - problems in our sex lives.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05- Sex is painful - for about 80% of menopausal women.
0:02:07 > 0:02:08- But to cheer us up...
0:02:09 > 0:02:14- ..after the menopause, some women - say that sex is better than ever.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19- They don't need contraception. - They know they're not pregnant.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23- Maybe the relief makes them - feel they want more sex.
0:02:24 > 0:02:29- There's no physiological reason - that makes women want more sex.
0:02:29 > 0:02:34- But the skin in the uterus - and round the clitoris changes.
0:02:35 > 0:02:39- It's much more sensitive, - so pleasure can be greater.
0:02:40 > 0:02:45- Maybe that drive - and having more pleasure from sex...
0:02:45 > 0:02:48- ..can increase - women's desire for sex.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57- What about our women's experiences?
0:02:58 > 0:03:02- From my experience, maybe sex - is better after the menopause.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06- You're free and don't have - to worry about anything.
0:03:07 > 0:03:12- You don't need the pill or anything - else. No trimmings, just enjoy life.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16- Once your body is back - working as it should...
0:03:16 > 0:03:19- ..it seems to go into overdrive...
0:03:19 > 0:03:21- ..if you know what I mean.
0:03:21 > 0:03:22- Er...
0:03:23 > 0:03:24- ..I can't say it!
0:03:29 > 0:03:32- I was going to say - that KY jelly is out of it!
0:03:33 > 0:03:35- I look forward. I hope I find a man.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40- I'm not quite at the end yet. - It's something to look forward to.
0:03:40 > 0:03:45- It was great before. - I hope it'll be better afterwards.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47- It is a positive aspect.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51- We have to think - about it positively.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- We should look at it - as a liberating process.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57- It does have plus points.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00- I don't think there's a difference.
0:04:01 > 0:04:02- No.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05- Maybe you lose interest a little.
0:04:06 > 0:04:07- Different.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11- Maybe different is a better word.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15- Maybe you don't feel - sexual desire...
0:04:15 > 0:04:18- ..in the same way - you did when you were young.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20- That's natural.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25- Maybe you enjoy the experience - in the same way...
0:04:25 > 0:04:29- ..but the desire isn't there - as it was in your youth.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41- Of course, the effect - of the menopause on sex...
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- ..is different for everyone.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47- But help is available - for women who have bad symptoms...
0:04:48 > 0:04:52- ..like painful sex, feeling - depressed or fluctuating moods...
0:04:52 > 0:04:55- ..or just don't want sex.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59- Doctors are aware of these problems.
0:04:59 > 0:05:05- The main thing is to shatter - the taboo and not feel embarrassed.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09- It's very important - for us women to enjoy sex.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13- Very often, people don't think - about what is out there...
0:05:13 > 0:05:16- ..that can help the enjoyment...
0:05:16 > 0:05:19- ..especially when - one is rather "dry".
0:05:20 > 0:05:26- There is a great variety - of lubricants available.
0:05:26 > 0:05:31- They make a great difference - to one's sex life.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33- They make sex more enjoyable...
0:05:33 > 0:05:37- ..and take away the pain - for some women.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40- So there's no need to suffer.
0:05:40 > 0:05:45- After the menopause, there can be - some unexpected sex-related issues.
0:05:45 > 0:05:52- More older women go to sexually - transmitted disease clinics.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56- It's very interesting - to hear older women's stories...
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- ..at sexually transmitted - disease clinics.
0:06:00 > 0:06:05- They found themselves in situations - where they had unprotected sex...
0:06:05 > 0:06:10- ..and were shocked to hear they had - a sexually transmitted disease.
0:06:10 > 0:06:15- Post-menopausal women aren't going - to think about sexual disease.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18- They don't think - about using condoms either.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- In the STD clinics...
0:06:22 > 0:06:26- ..we see more - post-menopausal women...
0:06:27 > 0:06:31- ..because they didn't think - they were at risk.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35- They also tend to go - with younger men...
0:06:36 > 0:06:41- ..and as result, dip into the pool - of sexually transmitted disease.
0:06:43 > 0:06:48- We've found that the risk of HIV is - higher for post-menopausal women...
0:06:50 > 0:06:52- ..because the vagina has changed.
0:06:53 > 0:06:59- The skin is thinner and the virus - is more likely to enter the body...
0:06:59 > 0:07:01- ..when practising unsafe sex.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- But it's a fact - that older women have sex.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09- We have to make sure - they get the best care available.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18- Pupils are taught about - sex and diseases in schools.
0:07:18 > 0:07:23- But should they also - be taught about the menopause?
0:07:25 > 0:07:28- We don't do Biology - in the Sixth Form.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32- We don't hear about it in the lower - years. It might be important.
0:07:32 > 0:07:37- It is. Every woman will - have it at some time in life.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40- We have to learn about these things.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42- It'd be useful to know.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46- Obviously, a mother - or grandmother goes through it.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50- We should understand - what's going on.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54- We should be educated - about it at home too.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58- Maybe Mam should tell me - about it, when I'm older.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02- Maybe it isn't as important - for us at our age.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05- They teach things - that are relevant to us.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09- If we were taught about it now, - people might worry.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12- It won't happen for some time.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17- It'd be nice if it was - on the curriculum.
0:08:17 > 0:08:22- Women could go to schools to discuss - it and explain what happens.
0:08:23 > 0:08:28- This is what your mothers - or grandmothers are experiencing.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31- Children could discuss it openly.
0:08:36 > 0:08:41- When teaching about the body and - the differences between the sexes...
0:08:42 > 0:08:46- ..it's important to discuss - the changes that occur...
0:08:46 > 0:08:47- ..at different ages.
0:08:48 > 0:08:53- I certainly wouldn't oppose teaching - young people about these changes.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57- But I don't think - they'd be very interested.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01- It isn't relevant - to them at their age.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04- Because it's a process, - not an event...
0:09:05 > 0:09:10- ..it can be very difficult to - discuss and give precise details...
0:09:11 > 0:09:13- ..about how something will be.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17- It's an individual - experience in many ways.
0:09:18 > 0:09:23- I can understand why the menopause - isn't given as much attention...
0:09:23 > 0:09:27- ..compared to much more - specific events in women's lives.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34- I'd like to ask a question.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- If we go through the menopause...
0:09:40 > 0:09:43- ..do animals go through it?
0:09:46 > 0:09:47- Oh! Good question.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51- From my research, - only three kinds of animals...
0:09:52 > 0:09:55- ..go through what - we'd recognize as the menopause.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58- We, human women...
0:09:58 > 0:10:00- ..pilot whales...
0:10:02 > 0:10:03- ..and orcas.
0:10:03 > 0:10:08- There might be more, of course. - Not enough research has been done.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13- Most mammals die soon after - losing the ability to reproduce.
0:10:15 > 0:10:20- But whales, as we do, live for - many years after losing fertility.
0:10:21 > 0:10:22- Why?
0:10:22 > 0:10:24- No-one is sure.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29- We could dedicate - a whole programme just to whales.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35- We'll return to the human - race after the adverts...
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- ..and discuss - early menopause and men.
0:10:40 > 0:10:40- .
0:10:44 > 0:10:44- Subtitles
0:10:44 > 0:10:46- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:10:51 > 0:10:56- Most people know that men can - produce children all their lives.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58- They create sperm all their lives.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03- But women are born - with all the eggs in the body.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06- They can't create any more.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09- A time comes when - there are no more eggs.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11- That is the menopause.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17- Older people get it, don't they?
0:11:17 > 0:11:19- It'll make you ill, dizzy and weak.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22- You're hot and you sweat.
0:11:23 > 0:11:27- It's gross. I suffered - for 18 months without medication.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29- In the end, I had to have it.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34- Mam's going through it - and she's suffering.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36- I'm dreading it.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43- You know you're getting old - when things like that stop.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45- No more children, nothing.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49- It's scary. - I'm frightened of being old.
0:11:50 > 0:11:51- It's never-ending.
0:11:51 > 0:11:56- I know 60-year-olds who are - still going through the menopause.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58- When did it happen to you?
0:11:59 > 0:12:03- I was young. I was 39.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06- I knew what it was.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10- The doctors didn't believe me - because I was so young.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15- They sent me to have a blood test, - and that's what it was.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19- I was shocked. - I'd never heard about it.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24- My 42-year-old daughter - is going through it.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29- It's assumed the menopause...
0:12:29 > 0:12:33- ..happens to women in their - late forties, early fifties.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38- There are a number of reasons - why it can happen much earlier.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43- Some women are very young...
0:12:44 > 0:12:47- ..when their ovaries - stop producing hormones.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51- There's usually no explanation.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55- Chemotherapy and radiotherapy - can damage the ovaries...
0:12:55 > 0:12:58- ..and bring on an early menopause.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01- Ovaries can heal.
0:13:01 > 0:13:05- A woman's age and - levels of cancer treatments...
0:13:05 > 0:13:08- ..can cause permanent damage.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11- A hysterectomy - can bring on the menopause.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15- Once the ovaries are removed...
0:13:15 > 0:13:19- ..the menopause will start - regardless of how old you are.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23- You will be offered HRT - to relieve the symptoms.
0:13:23 > 0:13:28- Young women can have menopausal - symptoms for no apparent reason.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32- They're too young to suspect - what's happening to them.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36- Sian Jones is 56.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41- She suffered menopausal symptoms - in her early thirties.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45- I wasn't aware that I was - going through the menopause.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47- There's no starting point.
0:13:48 > 0:13:52- I felt different. - I couldn't talk to anyone about it.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56- I didn't know if it - was the menopause...
0:13:56 > 0:13:58- ..or if I had a serious illness.
0:13:59 > 0:14:04- Some people describe the menopause - as a terrible illness.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08- I wasn't sure - what the symptoms were.
0:14:08 > 0:14:13- I didn't understand them - and didn't know who to turn to.
0:14:13 > 0:14:17- It started - when I was in my thirties.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22- I desperately wanted a child.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27- The doctor said - that due to different factors...
0:14:27 > 0:14:30- ..it was unlikely I'd have a child.
0:14:30 > 0:14:36- An early menopause wasn't mentioned.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38- To be honest...
0:14:38 > 0:14:43- ..all I registered - was not being able to have children.
0:14:44 > 0:14:48- Menopausal symptoms - were responsible.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51- It was the early menopause.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55- I felt depressed...
0:14:56 > 0:14:59- ..and worthless.
0:15:00 > 0:15:04- I was alternately hot and cold.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06- I felt like crying...
0:15:07 > 0:15:11- ..if someone was nice to me - or horrible to me.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13- Everything was too much.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18- Happily, and almost miraculously...
0:15:18 > 0:15:22- ..Sian became pregnant - and gave birth to Lisa.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26- Anyone can become pregnant - during the menopause.
0:15:26 > 0:15:30- It's only after it's over - that a woman is infertile.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- The symptoms returned - quite soon for Sian.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36- After I had Lisa...
0:15:37 > 0:15:41- ..I began having more symptoms.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44- It affected my eyes, too.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47- When Lisa went through school...
0:15:48 > 0:15:51- ..and become a woman herself...
0:15:52 > 0:15:55- ..my menopausal symptoms worsened.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58- If I wanted to put - a cup on the table...
0:15:59 > 0:16:02- ..I couldn't see where it should go.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05- I was confused.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08- I knew something serious - was going on.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14- The last time I saw my doctor...
0:16:14 > 0:16:18- ..he explained perhaps - it was menopausal symptoms.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22- Everything was clear - and I felt much better.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28- After years of suffering symptoms...
0:16:28 > 0:16:32- ..I want to talk about it.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34- There is an end to it.
0:16:35 > 0:16:40- It gets better. There was a time - when I felt it would never end.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52- We failed to get a single man - to appear on the series.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57- We've chatted to a few - on the street.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00- No-one agreed to be interviewed.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02- It affects them, too.
0:17:03 > 0:17:08- The woman, or women in their lives, - are going through a major change.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13- Most of us carry on - without too much trouble.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17- It doesn't affect our partners.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20- Men are not ready to discuss...
0:17:20 > 0:17:25- ..women having hot flushes - and going through the menopause...
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- ..in the workplace.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31- We should be able to do that.
0:17:32 > 0:17:36- In fairness, - my husband has been supportive.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40- He understood - what I was going through.
0:17:40 > 0:17:44- But in general, - men don't want to know.
0:17:45 > 0:17:50- They don't know anything about it, - or about our symptoms.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57- I often think - if a man had to go through this...
0:17:58 > 0:18:03- ..there would be menopause clubs - in every city and village.
0:18:04 > 0:18:09- There would be a parliamentary - debate. Something would be done.
0:18:09 > 0:18:13- Men would get together - to compare symptoms.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18- It would be like a cycling club - for men in lycra.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21- These menopausal men...
0:18:22 > 0:18:24- ..would have special caps...
0:18:24 > 0:18:28- ...and say, - "My hot flush lasted seven minutes!"
0:18:29 > 0:18:32- Men can't cope with pain or change.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- If men gave birth...
0:18:35 > 0:18:39- ..they'd only have one child.
0:18:42 > 0:18:43- "Seven minutes!"
0:18:44 > 0:18:46- Men don't understand the menopause.
0:18:47 > 0:18:48- Having said that...
0:18:49 > 0:18:53- ..I'm sure men go through - the menopause in their own way.
0:18:56 > 0:19:02- I often think my male colleagues - are going through the menopause.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04- I'm sure there's a male menopause.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07- I reckon my husband went through it.
0:19:10 > 0:19:15- Men have a midlife crisis. - Women do, too, but it's mostly men.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19- They might buy a sports car. - Younger model and all this palaver.
0:19:21 > 0:19:27- I'm sure it's their menopause. - But they get away with it.
0:19:28 > 0:19:33- They go out to the shed. That's - where their menopause takes place.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37- They become fussier.
0:19:38 > 0:19:43- That's what it is. They get on my - nerves because they fuss so much.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46- "Ah, mid-life crisis. - He'll calm down."
0:19:52 > 0:19:56- Is there such a thing - as the male menopause?
0:19:56 > 0:19:57- Right!
0:19:57 > 0:19:59- I don't know.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02- It's not the same.
0:20:03 > 0:20:07- Testosterone is a male hormone.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10- It lowers gradually.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12- It's later for men.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16- Men can have children - in their seventies...
0:20:16 > 0:20:19- ..for instance Charlie Chaplin.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21- It happens later...
0:20:22 > 0:20:24- ..and more gradually.
0:20:24 > 0:20:30- Perhaps men feel it, and that there - are psychological side-effects.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34- They want to buy fast cars.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38- It's more to do - with their day to day lives...
0:20:38 > 0:20:40- ..than a sudden hormonal change.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44- The testosterone level - doesn't take a dive.
0:20:45 > 0:20:46- No.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48- Right. It's all up here.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50- Right. It's all up here.- - For men?!
0:20:54 > 0:20:56- After middle age...
0:20:57 > 0:21:02- ..physical strength - begins to decline.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08- People have reached - the pinnacle of their careers.
0:21:08 > 0:21:13- They see youngsters overtaking them.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18- This is the time when men - take stock of their lives.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21- They look at their achievements...
0:21:21 > 0:21:25- ..and feel - that their time is running out.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29- It's the same sort of feeling, - of being past one's best.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33- This can lead - to a mid-life crisis.
0:21:34 > 0:21:39- Perhaps they'll behave in - a manner that's out of character.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- It's important to look - at men's experiences...
0:21:45 > 0:21:50- ..how they grow old or how - they feel society is treating them.
0:21:50 > 0:21:55- No, it isn't the same menopause - that women go through.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58- It's a time of reflection - and change.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13- I've enjoyed doing the series.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15- I had no idea at first.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19- It scares me how little I knew...
0:22:21 > 0:22:25- ..and how little - everyone I met knew.
0:22:25 > 0:22:30- The main thing I'll remember is...
0:22:31 > 0:22:35- ..that there's no need - to worry about the menopause.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39- I can say with honesty...
0:22:40 > 0:22:44- ..that I'm looking forward - to life after the menopause.
0:22:46 > 0:22:50- I want to be like the women - I've talked to.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54- They're happy in their own skin.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58- It's that feeling of relief.
0:23:00 > 0:23:05- Stuff you. I don't care what you - think of me. I'm me. And that's it!
0:23:25 > 0:23:27- S4C Subtitles by Gwead
0:23:27 > 0:23:28- .