Life Begins at 65

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0:00:10 > 0:00:14Beautiful Bournemouth. They call it God's waiting room.

0:00:16 > 0:00:20But me and my friends aren't planning on a sleepy seaside retirement.

0:00:20 > 0:00:21Cheers, Paul.

0:00:21 > 0:00:25I'm John, and this has been my home for 30 years.

0:00:25 > 0:00:27- It's the boys!- Hey!

0:00:27 > 0:00:30We might all have bus passes...

0:00:30 > 0:00:33but we are determined to make the most of the time we have left.

0:00:33 > 0:00:35We think you need to take Viagra.

0:00:37 > 0:00:39We've got big dreams.

0:00:39 > 0:00:42Some of us want second chances...

0:00:42 > 0:00:45and we still have unfulfilled desires.

0:00:45 > 0:00:50We may be getting on a bit, but we are still living close to the edge.

0:00:57 > 0:00:58Bournemouth...

0:00:58 > 0:01:01where one in five of us are over 65.

0:01:03 > 0:01:05For the last three months,

0:01:05 > 0:01:09me and my friends have been followed by a TV crew.

0:01:09 > 0:01:13Now, with the dust settled on the series, we are going to tell

0:01:13 > 0:01:16you what it is like being an older person in Britain today.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18Oh, it is nice to see you again.

0:01:18 > 0:01:21People come out with this word, OAP.

0:01:23 > 0:01:24That's not me.

0:01:24 > 0:01:28Like look at people, "Oh, that might be an OAP," but I'm not one.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30- There you are.- Cheek, cheek.

0:01:30 > 0:01:33'I hate the word OAP.'

0:01:33 > 0:01:38I'm not a typical older person, hopefully. Please, God, no, I'm not.

0:01:38 > 0:01:41It is fight, fight, fight with all of your might.

0:01:41 > 0:01:43Do you remember that old joke?

0:01:43 > 0:01:47A vibrator is OK, but the trouble is a vibrator doesn't mow the lawn.

0:01:48 > 0:01:51I was telling that to somebody, and do you know what he said?

0:01:51 > 0:01:53"Do you want someone to mow your lawn?"

0:01:53 > 0:01:54THEY LAUGH

0:01:54 > 0:01:57Once you hit 60, you can go back to being a teenager again.

0:01:59 > 0:02:03And I think we are leading much more exciting lives these days.

0:02:06 > 0:02:1120 years ago, 65-year-olds did retire,

0:02:11 > 0:02:15and nowadays we're kicking off our shoes and we're still dancing!

0:02:15 > 0:02:17And we're dancing with our grandchildren.

0:02:17 > 0:02:21And it is our grandchildren who are thinking, "Oh, my God!"

0:02:21 > 0:02:22Come on, John.

0:02:22 > 0:02:25- Lovely move.- Now's your chance!

0:02:25 > 0:02:29'Pensioners on television are classed as boring, old farts.'

0:02:29 > 0:02:32But there are more and more of us now who aren't.

0:02:32 > 0:02:36I think we should be called the wise ones.

0:02:36 > 0:02:40Always expect the unexpected.

0:02:40 > 0:02:41That's what I've learnt.

0:02:50 > 0:02:54Since enforced retirement was outlawed in 2011, more than

0:02:54 > 0:02:59one million over-65-year-olds now choose to stay in work.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Including most of us here in Bournemouth.

0:03:03 > 0:03:06He said, "What do you know about erogenous zones?"

0:03:06 > 0:03:09I said, "Well, I know you can't park there after six o'clock."

0:03:09 > 0:03:10LAUGHTER

0:03:10 > 0:03:12'I mean, old now is 90.'

0:03:12 > 0:03:15No wonder they are putting the retirement age up

0:03:15 > 0:03:19because everyone is living all that much longer, due to...

0:03:19 > 0:03:22Well, I'm here as a tribute to medical science.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25You would fill it with all your children's precious memories.

0:03:25 > 0:03:27You'd give it back to them when they are 18.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30You can put your scan, you know, baby scan picture in there.

0:03:30 > 0:03:34- I'm too old, never had one of those.- No, no, me neither.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36'I don't believe in retirement.'

0:03:36 > 0:03:39I don't, I really, genuinely don't.

0:03:39 > 0:03:43I don't. What, retire from what? Retire from living?

0:03:45 > 0:03:48I chose to create this business in my 60s,

0:03:48 > 0:03:51primarily because all my life

0:03:51 > 0:03:55I have taken... I've been the co-pilot to David.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00Babs spent nearly 30 years working for her husband's

0:04:00 > 0:04:03car-accessory business.

0:04:03 > 0:04:07When I was a teenager, I was...

0:04:07 > 0:04:09invincible.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13This was my life, I could do anything,

0:04:13 > 0:04:16I could climb Mount Everest. The world was my oyster.

0:04:18 > 0:04:22But then, when I got married and had a family,

0:04:22 > 0:04:25then I had to conform to respectability.

0:04:28 > 0:04:32I did everything, from book-keeping to standing in for staff,

0:04:32 > 0:04:35doing the cash and carry shopping.

0:04:35 > 0:04:37What ever needed doing, I did it.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42Nobody sees you for what you are.

0:04:42 > 0:04:46You are the missus of the mister, you are the mother of the child,

0:04:46 > 0:04:49you're the grandmother of the grandchildren.

0:04:49 > 0:04:52You are always something to do with somebody else,

0:04:52 > 0:04:55but what about me, little old me?

0:04:55 > 0:04:58Can I not be validated, can I not be...

0:04:58 > 0:05:01seen to have some worth?

0:05:05 > 0:05:09I think my drive certainly comes from my childhood.

0:05:09 > 0:05:13But we were so broke sometimes that we didn't have enough money

0:05:13 > 0:05:15to pay the electricity bills.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17If there was any money in the house, it would

0:05:17 > 0:05:19go on your brother's education.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21You know, girls didn't need an education.

0:05:26 > 0:05:30I passed my exams for college. There was no money to send me.

0:05:34 > 0:05:37And I've always regretted that. Always.

0:05:40 > 0:05:44So rather than retire, Babs decided it was her time to kick start

0:05:44 > 0:05:47a business, and launched her baby memory boxes...

0:05:50 > 0:05:53What, 400 boxes by next week?

0:05:53 > 0:05:55Yes, of course we can do that.

0:05:55 > 0:05:57No problem whatsoever.

0:05:59 > 0:06:04I have about ten product ideas that I still want to get off the ground.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06And none... Not all of them are even on the market.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09So I just wanted to check in with you to make sure

0:06:09 > 0:06:13that we've got enough stock there and everything else.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15..and her business boomed.

0:06:15 > 0:06:18We like the product and we would like to take the product.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Thank you so much.

0:06:20 > 0:06:23In fact, research shows that if everyone chose to work one

0:06:23 > 0:06:29year longer, GDP could increase by £16 billion.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Fantastic. And another one.

0:06:31 > 0:06:35'I want to connect with some big baby goods manufacturer, who would say to me,'

0:06:35 > 0:06:38'"Babs, we love your ideas, let's work together,'

0:06:38 > 0:06:42"let's take all your products, let's get inside your head and let's take

0:06:42 > 0:06:46"your products, and let us finance you and let us take them all to market."

0:06:46 > 0:06:50- Boom, boom, boom.- They loved it! They lapped it up. Fantastic!

0:06:50 > 0:06:55- High five. High four and three quarters.- High five. OK, let's go celebrate.- Come on, then.

0:06:55 > 0:06:59Employment is changing now. Older people are working longer.

0:07:01 > 0:07:04There's still some good years left in us older people.

0:07:04 > 0:07:09Companies now seem to be open to employing somebody over 65.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13I would like to do something more with my life.

0:07:13 > 0:07:17As far as I'm concerned, because I've got such an active mind,

0:07:17 > 0:07:21I would still like to be doing something. Some work or something.

0:07:21 > 0:07:24'I mean, I feel as though I've got plenty to offer.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26'And I'd love to go back to work.'

0:07:26 > 0:07:28I might forget a few things,

0:07:28 > 0:07:30but, you know, I can always write them down.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32I can still write.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36I still think I've got loads to offer.

0:07:43 > 0:07:45And it's not just business

0:07:45 > 0:07:48and work that we continue to have a passion for.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52MUSIC: Lady Marmalade by LaBelle

0:07:52 > 0:07:55- How are you?- How nice to see you.

0:07:55 > 0:07:59Give me a kiss. And the other one.

0:07:59 > 0:08:01'I'm still dating.'

0:08:01 > 0:08:03People are horrified quite often by that.

0:08:03 > 0:08:06Thank you so much, that's lovely.

0:08:06 > 0:08:10They think I should forget all about all that sort of thing.

0:08:10 > 0:08:13And they do say "that sort of thing", yeah.

0:08:15 > 0:08:16SHE LAUGHS

0:08:18 > 0:08:20I like to go out romancing.

0:08:20 > 0:08:23You know, there's nothing like a bit of romance.

0:08:23 > 0:08:24I quite enjoyed it once I got going.

0:08:24 > 0:08:28- Yeah, well, you couldn't do much about it!- Brilliant. Loved it.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Singles over 65 are the fastest-growing

0:08:32 > 0:08:35group of internet daters.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38Would you call yourself an extrovert?

0:08:38 > 0:08:42Is there such a thing as a shy extrovert?

0:08:42 > 0:08:45The world has changed amazingly.

0:08:45 > 0:08:49If you wanted to meet a man, you would go to a dance.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52You met people at dances or work.

0:08:55 > 0:08:58And, of course, it is so different today.

0:08:58 > 0:09:03Isn't it? I mean, you've got the dating, internet dating,

0:09:03 > 0:09:08you've got speed dating, which is not quite for the older person.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11But I have done it and it has been quite fun.

0:09:11 > 0:09:14I hope you remembered your wallet.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16THEY LAUGH

0:09:16 > 0:09:19- SHE HICCUPS - Oh, excuse me.- Hello.

0:09:19 > 0:09:24I'm sure a lot of people in their mid-70s, like myself, will

0:09:24 > 0:09:28think, "Oh, we never thought we could be bothered to do that, you know?"

0:09:28 > 0:09:31Did you actually fancy him?

0:09:31 > 0:09:33Did you?

0:09:33 > 0:09:36No, I'm afraid not, no.

0:09:36 > 0:09:39You can get out there if you are on your own.

0:09:39 > 0:09:43You can get out and go dating. I mean, the opportunities now.

0:09:43 > 0:09:47If you are just looking purely at a relationship for naughtiness,

0:09:47 > 0:09:51then you're looking at the wrong thing. Because there's no point just looking at it for that.

0:09:51 > 0:09:54- You've got to talk to people, haven't you?- Do you?

0:09:54 > 0:09:55SHE LAUGHS

0:09:55 > 0:10:00My mother would have been horrified if she knew about dating online.

0:10:00 > 0:10:04When I got divorced, she didn't think I should be dating anyway.

0:10:07 > 0:10:10MUSIC: Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? by The Shirelles

0:10:12 > 0:10:16Dee hasn't always been single. In 1952,

0:10:16 > 0:10:19she got married at the age of 16.

0:10:19 > 0:10:23Of course, when I was younger, you were expected to get married early.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25At 25, you're over the hill.

0:10:27 > 0:10:32You didn't tell people problems that were going on within your marriage.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35You were expected to stay married.

0:10:35 > 0:10:38And you were expected to shut up and put up with it.

0:10:39 > 0:10:43But 13 years later, when her eldest daughter was only nine,

0:10:43 > 0:10:44Dee got divorced.

0:10:47 > 0:10:50It was very unusual to get divorced in those days.

0:10:52 > 0:10:56I suppose... Obviously, it wasn't the first because my mother was divorced,

0:10:56 > 0:10:57and that was even worse.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03I had two children to bring up... on my own,

0:11:03 > 0:11:08and you were classified as being a loose woman.

0:11:08 > 0:11:12And it was very, very hard. Very hard bringing them up in those days.

0:11:12 > 0:11:16Everything to do with one-parent families was frowned on.

0:11:16 > 0:11:21My daughter, my eldest one, she was always top of her class...

0:11:23 > 0:11:26Because she came from a one-parent family,

0:11:26 > 0:11:29she was not allowed to go to grammar school.

0:11:33 > 0:11:36I'm disappointed that there isn't the staying

0:11:36 > 0:11:42power in marriage there was when I got married.

0:11:42 > 0:11:46I'm still married to the same person. I believe in marriage.

0:11:46 > 0:11:50I think when you make vows and you make promises,

0:11:50 > 0:11:52you should stand by them.

0:11:54 > 0:11:57When there isn't that threat there, people have an argument

0:11:57 > 0:11:59and they walk out.

0:11:59 > 0:12:03That, to me, is not what these vows are being made on.

0:12:03 > 0:12:08When you sometimes meet somebody and say, "Oh, sorry, you're divorced,

0:12:08 > 0:12:12"so you're married for a second time?" "Oh, no, I'm on my fifth marriage."

0:12:12 > 0:12:15And I think, "What?! What's all that about?"

0:12:15 > 0:12:17The essential thing about how things have changed today,

0:12:17 > 0:12:22like, you've got, for example, you've got gay marriage.

0:12:22 > 0:12:24Civil partnership.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26All these sorts of things didn't happen years ago.

0:12:26 > 0:12:31I go right back to when it was illegal to be gay.

0:12:35 > 0:12:40In 1967, Simon was 24 when homosexuality was decriminalised.

0:12:42 > 0:12:44You had to hide being gay.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46You could be put in jail, there was

0:12:46 > 0:12:49lots of blackmail going on for people who found out they were gay.

0:12:49 > 0:12:52It was ruining lives. Also caused a lot of suicides.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57It's not a nice thing to live with

0:12:57 > 0:13:01because you want to be accepted like everybody else is.

0:13:03 > 0:13:05- INTERVIEWER:- How old were you when you came out?

0:13:05 > 0:13:08I actually never came out.

0:13:09 > 0:13:13I only came out, really, about

0:13:13 > 0:13:16ten years ago.

0:13:17 > 0:13:20You didn't realise that, did you? No, it's a fact, yeah.

0:13:22 > 0:13:25I think when I was younger, I would hide it.

0:13:25 > 0:13:26I would deny that I was gay.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29If someone said, "Oh, you're gay," I would say, "No, I'm not gay."

0:13:29 > 0:13:32You could be kicked out of a job for being homosexual.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34And that wasn't such a long time ago.

0:13:34 > 0:13:37There is a sort of privacy about being gay.

0:13:37 > 0:13:41I guess it's a throwback from the years before,

0:13:41 > 0:13:45still in that thing, like, "Ooh, I'm ash..." Sort of ashamed to be gay.

0:13:45 > 0:13:49I'm not ashamed to be gay. I'm the last person to be ashamed to be gay.

0:13:49 > 0:13:51But there is still something there that makes me

0:13:51 > 0:13:55- feel ashamed to be gay. - I did have gay friends then.

0:13:55 > 0:13:57If you went to one of their clubs,

0:13:57 > 0:14:00you literally had to knock on the door and say, "So-and-so sent me."

0:14:00 > 0:14:02That's really what it was like.

0:14:03 > 0:14:07But not everyone's views have relaxed over the years.

0:14:07 > 0:14:10If you want to be gay, that's not a problem.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12- Go and do it somewhere else? - I don't have any problem...

0:14:12 > 0:14:15A man was meant to live with a woman.

0:14:15 > 0:14:18- That's a load of rubbish you're coming out with.- No, it's not!

0:14:18 > 0:14:22- Like something from the Middle Ages. - I'm sorry, but I don't care. - "Burn gays on the stake."

0:14:22 > 0:14:25No, I don't want to burn - did I say that? Did I say that?

0:14:25 > 0:14:28I am neither racist nor homophobic.

0:14:30 > 0:14:34Saying that, I don't understand why,

0:14:34 > 0:14:38er, gay people have to, er,

0:14:38 > 0:14:42keep on emphasising the fact that they are gay.

0:14:42 > 0:14:47As we're getting older, you see, you are less tolerant.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50Maybe that's a bad thing. I don't know. But you're less tolerant.

0:14:50 > 0:14:53It's quite rare to come across people like that

0:14:53 > 0:14:56because today, people are more accepting and this and that.

0:14:56 > 0:15:00So, he was like, he was like, harking back to the...

0:15:00 > 0:15:02- 30-odd years ago. - I don't want to hear about this.

0:15:02 > 0:15:05- Tell me the definition of a bigot. - I'm not interested.

0:15:05 > 0:15:08- Tell me the definition of a bigot, then. Come on!- You!- Ha!

0:15:08 > 0:15:11So, you can always walk away. That's not a very good argument.

0:15:11 > 0:15:14'He was coming out with things that people USED to come out with.

0:15:14 > 0:15:16'Thank God it's not like that any more.'

0:15:16 > 0:15:18I can now hold my head up.

0:15:18 > 0:15:21And be like everybody else.

0:15:21 > 0:15:24Getting divorced or losing a loved one as we get older

0:15:24 > 0:15:27means us over-65s rely on our friends more and more.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31You make me feel guilty because I...

0:15:31 > 0:15:34You keep saying to me, oh, you're always out, you've always got friends.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36You know, sometimes, I mean,

0:15:36 > 0:15:39the phone might not ring for about a week.

0:15:39 > 0:15:44When I was growing up, when I think about friendships, you do sort of take it for granted,

0:15:44 > 0:15:47that you think they're going to go on for ever.

0:15:49 > 0:15:54But, unfortunately I have lost quite a few friends in my life.

0:15:55 > 0:16:00And I'd never realised that they were going to die at the ages they did die.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03You end up in life with a lot less friends than you thought you

0:16:03 > 0:16:08would have because they've all died and I have outlived them.

0:16:08 > 0:16:11What you have to know about Chris, he's a lonely man.

0:16:11 > 0:16:15He's very lonely, but you don't see that. He's VERY lonely.

0:16:15 > 0:16:18He hasn't got many friends.

0:16:18 > 0:16:21He comes round our house, probably on average,

0:16:21 > 0:16:26it has been, twice, three times a week. And he never phones.

0:16:26 > 0:16:29He'll just knock on the door. "Hi, I was passing..."

0:16:29 > 0:16:33My wife always says, "Why do you keep on going round Barbara's house?"

0:16:33 > 0:16:37Well, probably, I go round there because I haven't got anything else to do!

0:16:37 > 0:16:39If you want to be really honest.

0:16:39 > 0:16:44And some friendships, regardless of age, are as complicated as ever.

0:16:45 > 0:16:48- That women...- What woman? What, Vanessa?- She's a madam!

0:16:48 > 0:16:52- No, she's not.- Yes, she is.- No, she's not.- Well, she was.- Ah! WAS!

0:16:52 > 0:16:56If you asked me the question of whether I value my...

0:16:56 > 0:16:59my friendship with Barbara, as extremely important,

0:16:59 > 0:17:03- I would say the answer is "No".- Just because...- I'm not arguing with you.

0:17:03 > 0:17:05- I'm just telling you. - I don't want to argue with you!

0:17:05 > 0:17:07You're the one who has come over and argued with me!

0:17:07 > 0:17:09'People change you,'

0:17:09 > 0:17:12whether you want to be changed or not.

0:17:12 > 0:17:16- Other people affect your life. - I mean, I'm a good friend of yours, but...

0:17:16 > 0:17:18- No you're not!- Yes, I am! - No, you're not.

0:17:18 > 0:17:20- You THINK you are, but you're not! - I am!

0:17:20 > 0:17:25I like to control the kind of people that I mix with and be friends with.

0:17:25 > 0:17:29Because, it's like, "Show me your friends

0:17:29 > 0:17:31"and I'll tell you what you are."

0:17:31 > 0:17:35- Noticeably, you need other people to prop you up.- Really?- Absolutely.

0:17:35 > 0:17:39'We've had a sort of on-and-off friendship for 20 years.'

0:17:39 > 0:17:43Don't get me wrong, she is a very, very, very nice person.

0:17:43 > 0:17:47But if I never saw her again, it wouldn't be something that

0:17:47 > 0:17:51would destroy my heart, if I actually have one.

0:17:51 > 0:17:54I'm going to show you, Chris, that I can do it without you.

0:17:54 > 0:17:58- So, all the best for the future. OK? - OK. Yeah, cheers. Bye!- Bye.

0:18:03 > 0:18:06Whilst we're still living life to the full,

0:18:06 > 0:18:09we're also having to face the realities of getting on.

0:18:09 > 0:18:10I don't want to be this age.

0:18:10 > 0:18:13I'd much rather be younger because I'd have more time to do what

0:18:13 > 0:18:15I want to do.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18And I've got less years ahead of me than I have behind me.

0:18:18 > 0:18:21So, I know what's ahead of me. And I don't like that.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23I don't want to face that.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26I want to be philanthropic.

0:18:27 > 0:18:29I have got great compassion.

0:18:29 > 0:18:33And I really want to do something with my life while I still can.

0:18:33 > 0:18:36And if I can set up a charity to help sick children, that's my dream.

0:18:38 > 0:18:43If I live to 92, my God, that's only nine years. That is frightening.

0:18:43 > 0:18:47That is really scary, when I work it out like that.

0:18:47 > 0:18:52I haven't got... I haven't got time to do all the things I want to do.

0:18:52 > 0:18:56I don't know, I don't know... No, I'll worry about it when I get there.

0:19:00 > 0:19:03When I was younger, I never thought I was going to get old.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05It seemed such a long, long way away.

0:19:07 > 0:19:13I can look back and I think, you know, my son is 50 this year.

0:19:13 > 0:19:17Half a century! Where did that half a century go?

0:19:17 > 0:19:21Cos I can recall some memories as if it was yesterday.

0:19:21 > 0:19:26And I can remember how I was feeling. And, erm...

0:19:29 > 0:19:31(I don't know...)

0:19:33 > 0:19:36What happened to the years? I don't know...

0:19:39 > 0:19:42I'm worried about when I get

0:19:42 > 0:19:45so old that I'll have to go into a nursing home or a rest home

0:19:45 > 0:19:50or have some care, or people looking after me in my own home.

0:19:50 > 0:19:55I DREAD the thought of going into a rest home. Dread it!

0:19:55 > 0:19:57It's a very nice building...

0:19:57 > 0:20:03'Today, almost half a million over-65s live in care homes across the UK.'

0:20:03 > 0:20:07- I know, but God knows what we're going to find in there. - Well, of course not!

0:20:07 > 0:20:11Over-65s, the thing is that we are living longer.

0:20:11 > 0:20:17I mean, my grandfather, God bless him, he pegged out when he was 52!

0:20:17 > 0:20:20You know, they just didn't have that life expectancy.

0:20:20 > 0:20:24Oh, this is different. This is a big area, isn't it?

0:20:24 > 0:20:27I could not bear to be in a place like that. I would just shrivel.

0:20:27 > 0:20:31I would just shrivel up and die.

0:20:31 > 0:20:33Who wants to live that long

0:20:33 > 0:20:36if they haven't got everything going for them?

0:20:36 > 0:20:39- What do you think?- Do you want to come here? It's awful!

0:20:39 > 0:20:41Well, we are going to find out what it's...

0:20:41 > 0:20:43'I think it's all to do with quality of life.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46'You know, who wants to be bedbound? Or having bed baths?

0:20:46 > 0:20:48'What quality of life is that?'

0:20:48 > 0:20:51No, no, no, no, people don't want that!

0:20:53 > 0:20:56I really would hate to be incapacitated.

0:20:56 > 0:21:00I... I don't want to end up on the horizontal.

0:21:00 > 0:21:05I just want to keel over, not wake up one day and it'll all be over.

0:21:08 > 0:21:13If I can't be mobile, if I have to rely on my children to look after me,

0:21:13 > 0:21:16then I don't want to be alive.

0:21:18 > 0:21:21Becoming overly dependent on our loved ones is something

0:21:21 > 0:21:24none of us wants. And it's not what my wife wanted.

0:21:26 > 0:21:30I actually got the doctor to her the day before she died. And...

0:21:30 > 0:21:33he looked at her and he said, "Do you want me to hospitalise her?"

0:21:33 > 0:21:38Now, her eyes told me that she had clicked on what he had said.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40Because that might, after the doctor went,

0:21:40 > 0:21:45I was lying alongside her in bed and she just started to stroke my hair.

0:21:45 > 0:21:47And that's when I knew. Mm.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52And I said, "You're leaving me, aren't you?"

0:21:53 > 0:21:56Hm! There you go...

0:21:56 > 0:21:59And she just gave a little smile.

0:22:09 > 0:22:12Of course, it's something that's etched on your mind for ever.

0:22:12 > 0:22:15When somebody just passes away in front of your very eyes.

0:22:21 > 0:22:26Oh, thank you. That was a lovely service. Thanks very much.

0:22:26 > 0:22:28That was sad, someone so young.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35When animals get old and they're not doing so good,

0:22:35 > 0:22:37you can put them down.

0:22:37 > 0:22:40I think, you know, I'd like somebody to be able to put me down when...

0:22:40 > 0:22:42When the time came!

0:22:45 > 0:22:48I have paid for my funeral.

0:22:48 > 0:22:51I have got the music sorted.

0:22:51 > 0:22:53I've got it all planned out.

0:22:53 > 0:22:56Cos I've got to be in control, even when I'm dead!

0:22:59 > 0:23:02The only thing I would miss is to see how many women would come

0:23:02 > 0:23:04to my funeral. Ha-ha! Yeah...

0:23:06 > 0:23:08Yeah, that would be nice to know. Who would come.

0:23:10 > 0:23:13I've got no fear of death. I've got no fear of death whatsoever.

0:23:13 > 0:23:17I've always said to my wife, if you put me in a wheelchair,

0:23:17 > 0:23:20and I go a bit gaga, just push me over,

0:23:20 > 0:23:22save the state some money, just push me over the cliffs.

0:23:22 > 0:23:28Mind you, my wife would probably sign up for me tomorrow. So, you know...

0:23:28 > 0:23:31It's probably a bad thing, as far as I'm concerned!

0:23:32 > 0:23:35UPBEAT DRUM INTRO PLAYS

0:23:38 > 0:23:41It been a blast making the TV show.

0:23:44 > 0:23:47Doing this filming has really done a lot for me.

0:23:47 > 0:23:51I did the zip wire, which is something I've always wanted to do.

0:23:51 > 0:23:55Not only once, I did it twice! That was really fun.

0:23:55 > 0:23:58SHE SCREAMS

0:23:58 > 0:24:03The parts I enjoyed the most is when I was the centre of attention!

0:24:05 > 0:24:09I'm afraid I am a bit liking to be the centre of attention.

0:24:12 > 0:24:16I would like to think that everything that people

0:24:16 > 0:24:21saw on this programme was the real me.

0:24:21 > 0:24:25- Shall I tell you something?- Don't keep pointing your finger at me, then!- I know why you didn't come.

0:24:25 > 0:24:28- Why?- Because you found out that your husband had visited

0:24:28 > 0:24:32- one of my establishments. - Really? Oh, that's low, isn't it?

0:24:32 > 0:24:34No, I wasn't putting on a front on the programme.

0:24:34 > 0:24:37If I seem obnoxious, well, that is the way I am.

0:24:37 > 0:24:40- I didn't know it was a '60s night, though.- Why is it '60s?

0:24:40 > 0:24:44- Well, I just thought, with what you're wearing.- Pardon?

0:24:45 > 0:24:47I think I made a friend through Monty.

0:24:47 > 0:24:50- He's become like a sparring partner, actually.- Simon!

0:24:50 > 0:24:52It's visiting royalty.

0:24:52 > 0:24:55Well, take the coat off, then. Come on, let's have a look.

0:24:55 > 0:24:58Because he jokes and I've picked up on these jokes,

0:24:58 > 0:25:00so I give him back as much as he gives me.

0:25:00 > 0:25:04So, I think we've become a little bit of a double act!

0:25:04 > 0:25:09- From doing this programme, I've gained some new friends.- Oh, my God!

0:25:09 > 0:25:12- Is that week one, then? - That's finished!

0:25:12 > 0:25:14Obviously, as you will have seen,

0:25:14 > 0:25:18there are some people that I haven't got on with so well,

0:25:18 > 0:25:21but hey-ho, that's a reflection of real life, isn't it?

0:25:21 > 0:25:26Even if I didn't know who you were, you and I still wouldn't be friends.

0:25:26 > 0:25:27Why's that?

0:25:27 > 0:25:30Because you're a very pushy person and I don't like pushy people.

0:25:30 > 0:25:33Well, that's funny, because that's exactly what Chris said about you!

0:25:33 > 0:25:38- I'm not somebody that you meet every day of the week, am I? - SHE CHUCKLES

0:25:40 > 0:25:42We've had some laughs,

0:25:42 > 0:25:45especially when the filming didn't quite go to plan...

0:25:45 > 0:25:47Oh!

0:25:47 > 0:25:50What brings you around here again today?

0:25:50 > 0:25:54- Oh, do I have to have an invite? - Yes!- I normally just walk in here.

0:25:54 > 0:26:00- Sorry! A little bit theatrical. - Was it?

0:26:02 > 0:26:05You think, "Oh, God, what am I supposed to do? Oh, is this real?"

0:26:05 > 0:26:07"What's happening? Oh! Oh!"

0:26:07 > 0:26:11I think we ought to go on a...

0:26:14 > 0:26:17- Where are we going? - THEY LAUGH

0:26:23 > 0:26:26That's the story of my life!

0:26:26 > 0:26:29When I see other people going on camera for the first time,

0:26:29 > 0:26:32I think, "Aw..." I understand how they feel.

0:26:32 > 0:26:35Because it's like a deer in the headlights.

0:26:37 > 0:26:41And I hope I have at least made younger people look at

0:26:41 > 0:26:43older people differently.

0:26:44 > 0:26:49And say, "older", not "old". Or "wise ones".