:00:46. > :00:48.Not a day had come in my life where you really feel that
:00:49. > :00:53.Breaking the wall of silence - the wives separated
:00:54. > :00:54.from their husbands, shunned by their communities
:00:55. > :00:58.The moment their daughter has been left by her husband,
:00:59. > :01:06.The impact for women who are left, who have been abandoned,
:01:07. > :01:12.It's leaving them almost in chains within their society.
:01:13. > :01:15.With thousands of brides branded as outcasts,
:01:16. > :01:17.we reveal the injustices and indignities many
:01:18. > :01:43.They marry us, they bring us over, then they treat us like a dirty rag.
:01:44. > :01:49.She's embarking on an extraordinary personal mission to find
:01:50. > :01:55.I am feeling a bit nervous as well as emotional,
:01:56. > :01:58.as I have not seen this man since one and a half years.
:01:59. > :02:02.I don't know how he will react when he sees me.
:02:03. > :02:07.She's used up all her savings and put her teaching career on hold
:02:08. > :02:10.to come to London and get out of a marriage in which
:02:11. > :02:28.I felt that my whole world has been disturbed or shaken and shattered.
:02:29. > :02:32.It was an arranged marriage and before exchanging vows
:02:33. > :02:34.she had only ever met him for one single hour.
:02:35. > :02:37.In India the arranged marriage is a really common concept, so...
:02:38. > :02:40.Vikram had come to my place prior to the marriage was finalised,
:02:41. > :02:43.prior one week before the wedding and it was just a normal chat.
:02:44. > :02:45.I mean, what's your likes and your dislikes?
:02:46. > :02:48.And what he has been doing in London.
:02:49. > :02:50.You're meeting a stranger for the first time, and he's
:02:51. > :02:53.going to be a husband, so at the back of the mind...
:02:54. > :03:04.You are nervous, you are excited, you are attracted towards him.
:03:05. > :03:09.Ritu insists she did not feel pressured into the marriage,
:03:10. > :03:17.but the wedding took place just 48 hours after they had met.
:03:18. > :03:20.We literally had one day, me and my family and my relatives,
:03:21. > :03:22.to prepare the wedding as much as we could.
:03:23. > :03:23.We arranged everything, the temple where we'd
:03:24. > :03:31.The wedding night, was it what you hoped?
:03:32. > :03:35.Vikram had a flight early in the morning,
:03:36. > :03:40.We did not even spend a night together.
:03:41. > :03:43.After returning to the UK, he assured Ritu that he would
:03:44. > :03:51.But within four months, the relationship became strained
:03:52. > :03:52.and Ritu's visa application, which required her husband's
:03:53. > :03:59.She now wants a divorce, but in India it is extremely
:04:00. > :04:01.difficult to divorce an absent spouse.
:04:02. > :04:04.She feels trapped in a meaningless marriage to a man she barely knows
:04:05. > :04:10.Sometimes I have to really curse myself that why did
:04:11. > :04:18.I could have asked him not to get married so soon.
:04:19. > :04:21.Not a day had come in my life where you really feel that
:04:22. > :04:33.There are believed to be tens of thousands of women
:04:34. > :04:38.Many are Brides from India, Pakistan and Bangladesh,
:04:39. > :04:41.who claim they have been cast aside, abandoned, by their
:04:42. > :04:47.For many of these wives, abandonment is just the final
:04:48. > :04:50.incident in a relationship that was characterised
:04:51. > :04:52.with abuse and deceit from even before the wedding.
:04:53. > :04:55.Throughout their marriage, many of these women are exploited
:04:56. > :04:58.Some are forced into domestic slavery.
:04:59. > :05:07.Others are even duped into giving up their children.
:05:08. > :05:12.We are looking at thousands of women, so this is not
:05:13. > :05:15.We're only beginning to touch and scratch
:05:16. > :05:23.But we see is a continuum of sexual violence that
:05:24. > :05:29.they have been subjected to, physical, sexual, financial,
:05:30. > :06:13.emotional abuse and the end process is often abandonment.
:06:14. > :06:16.Kulwant was brought to the UK from India by her British national
:06:17. > :06:19.She says that as well as being treated as a domestic
:06:20. > :07:21.slave, her husband subjected her to violence every day.
:07:22. > :07:23.In desperation, Kulwant says she eventually picked
:07:24. > :07:29.That was 18 months ago and ever since, her husband has refused
:07:30. > :07:44.Along with her son, Kulwant now lives in temporary accommodation
:07:45. > :08:04.and with the help of a charity she's trying to rebuild her life.
:08:05. > :08:08.I have travelled from London to Punjab, the north of India ?
:08:09. > :08:11.it's the same journey that every year hundreds of Indian British
:08:12. > :08:17.At a secret location in Chandigarh, the capital of Punjab,
:08:18. > :08:26.a special meeting for women is being held.
:08:27. > :08:29.Most of the women here are married to men from abroad and,
:08:30. > :08:32.according to the head of the charity who organised this event,
:08:33. > :08:42.More and more girls are in such a big mess.
:08:43. > :08:47.I see a lot of beautiful educated women, they are in a mess.
:08:48. > :08:55.In this region alone, the local authority estimates
:08:56. > :08:58.that there are well over 15,000 abandoned wives.
:08:59. > :09:01.Their husbands come from all over the world, but British men
:09:02. > :09:03.are thought to account for over one-third of these cases
:09:04. > :09:06.and for many of these grooms the motivation is not
:09:07. > :09:16.Usually, it's like this - he comes here and he asks
:09:17. > :09:25.for massive money from the dowry and they marry, the girls' parents
:09:26. > :09:28.give the dowry, he took the money, he enjoys his honeymoon months
:09:29. > :09:33.Despite being outlawed since 1961, in India it is customary
:09:34. > :09:36.for the bride's family to give money or gifts to the groom prior
:09:37. > :09:41.These dowries often amount to tens of thousands of pounds
:09:42. > :09:49.A lot of women say that well after the marriage,
:09:50. > :09:51.dowry demands continue, and, ultimately, when they cannot
:09:52. > :10:02.meet dowry demands, they are abandoned.
:10:03. > :10:05.In a rural village on the outskirts of Punjab, Kalmajit married a man
:10:06. > :10:14.To pay for the dowry and the wedding, her father
:10:15. > :10:31.scraped together almost all of his life savings.
:10:32. > :10:33.Within days of accepting his hand in marriage, Kamaljit's
:10:34. > :10:53.says her husband started complaining about the dowry.
:10:54. > :10:55.Eventually, says Kalmajit, her husband abandoned her
:10:56. > :11:37.She claims he left her even though she was pregnant.
:11:38. > :11:41.Just a few weeks later, Kalmajit's daughter died,
:11:42. > :12:04.but even then she says her husband did not contact her.
:12:05. > :12:06.Many women like Kalmajit still desperately hope to revive
:12:07. > :12:08.marriages with husbands who have left them, because the alternative
:12:09. > :12:11.Life as an abandoned woman in India means
:12:12. > :12:16.living as an outcast, an outcast wife.
:12:17. > :12:18.The impact for women who are left, who are being abandoned,
:12:19. > :12:20.is quite devastating, because it can affect
:12:21. > :12:24.It can affect the way the community view her.
:12:25. > :12:27.And the way they view their families as well.
:12:28. > :12:30.It can affect, if she has children, how the children are seen,
:12:31. > :12:33.how the children are raised, and if you come from very poor
:12:34. > :12:35.environments, very poor families, then actually what that is doing
:12:36. > :12:38.is adding additional pressure to the family and a sort
:12:39. > :12:45.She feels she has no value and society makes it
:12:46. > :12:55.And there have been hundreds of examples where parents
:12:56. > :13:11.Ten days after arriving in London, Ritu's had no success
:13:12. > :13:14.in tracking down her husband, so she's come to a woman's group,
:13:15. > :13:18.So, basically to sum it up, he doesn't want to know you.
:13:19. > :13:21.Literally, you just want to end the relationship, but trying to find
:13:22. > :13:24.the reason behind it, but at the end of the day you can't
:13:25. > :13:26.go back, you can't move forward, you are stuck, stagnant.
:13:27. > :13:31.That's a very horrible position to be in.
:13:32. > :13:33.I think you cannot ever get answers to the questions
:13:34. > :13:36.you are looking for, because from what you said you can't
:13:37. > :13:40.If she finds him, Ritu wants to ask her husband for a divorce.
:13:41. > :13:44.But most wives left in India never get the opportunity to do this.
:13:45. > :13:50.UK immigration rules prohibit them from entering the country.
:13:51. > :13:52.She will have problems in serving him in England,
:13:53. > :13:55.because she cannot come in as a visitor because she has
:13:56. > :13:58.to disclose she has a husband and she is married to a British
:13:59. > :14:01.national and once she discloses that she will be asked why aren't
:14:02. > :14:05.you applying for a spousal visa, and a spousal visa needs
:14:06. > :14:10.a husband's support, so she is caught in catch 22.
:14:11. > :14:13.Unable to obtain a divorce via the British courts,
:14:14. > :14:24.abandoned wives must turn to the Indian judicial system.
:14:25. > :14:27.Getting a divorce from a spouse who lives abroad is a complex,
:14:28. > :14:30.Some of the parents here have been trying to get
:14:31. > :15:02.a resolution for their abandoned daughters for years.
:15:03. > :15:05.Our legal system is little bit slow, it will take years and years
:15:06. > :15:12.There are a number of difficulties, of hurdles for each and every step,
:15:13. > :15:20.and more over these girls don't have is the money to pay for the legal
:15:21. > :15:24.system, even to go from one station to the other for the documentation
:15:25. > :15:28.and there is no direct legal system available,
:15:29. > :15:30.where she could apply as in a domestic
:15:31. > :15:37.Abandoned wives are not only at the mercy of the courts when it
:15:38. > :15:40.comes to obtaining a divorce - many face legal difficulties,
:15:41. > :15:51.if their husbands take their children.
:15:52. > :15:53.Six years ago, Sonali got married in Pakistan.
:15:54. > :15:56.Her husband, a British national, arranged for her to come and live
:15:57. > :16:02.I came here and I was seven months pregnant.
:16:03. > :16:08.I was thinking everything would be fine and my life would be better
:16:09. > :16:13.but they treated me like a slave or servant in their house and they
:16:14. > :16:24.Shortly after she had given birth, Sonali says her husband suggested
:16:25. > :16:31.a family holiday back in Pakistan to help her recover.
:16:32. > :16:34.On their second night abroad, he was out with friends but phoned
:16:35. > :16:41.My husband called me first and said, "I am coming to pick up my son
:16:42. > :16:46.because a few relatives are coming from Karachi, the city in Pakistan,
:16:47. > :16:53.He just took my son from me and I don't know why
:16:54. > :16:58.I was feeling scared that time, I don't know, but I just
:16:59. > :17:00.called him again and again, but suddenly his phone
:17:01. > :17:04.Eventually, Sonali realised her husband had been
:17:05. > :17:18.He had taken her three-month old baby and left the country.
:17:19. > :17:21.I was thinking there is no reason to live.
:17:22. > :17:25.Most of the time I start talking with his clothes.
:17:26. > :17:29.When I went to sleep in the night, I put his clothes with my pillow
:17:30. > :17:31.and no-one take him, because he is my son
:17:32. > :17:35.My mother is like, "No this is not your son,
:17:36. > :17:39.Abandoned in Pakistan, Sonali had no clue how
:17:40. > :17:42.she would access legal help to get her son back
:17:43. > :17:49.until she came across the website of a UK based charity.
:17:50. > :17:51.If there are children involved, there are some legal remedies
:17:52. > :17:57.available, not easy, but there are.
:17:58. > :18:00.Fortunately, that is a situation which the judiciary have woken up
:18:01. > :18:06.to, there has been case developments that allow women even if they're
:18:07. > :18:16.abandoned and abroad to bring proceedings here.
:18:17. > :18:18.Southall Black Sisters secured a specialist family lawyer,
:18:19. > :18:21.who made the child a ward of court and arranged for Sonali
:18:22. > :18:24.to return to the UK, where her case was heard in the High
:18:25. > :18:30.The High Court has said, because it's a British national
:18:31. > :18:33.child, and the best interest of the child are a paramount
:18:34. > :18:35.that the force of the law should and could be used,
:18:36. > :18:39.so that the child could be reunited with his mother,
:18:40. > :18:41.and the husband was in effect, ordered to support her immigration
:18:42. > :18:48.application to allow her to come back to the UK.
:18:49. > :18:52.Sonali has been granted indefinite leave to remain in the UK under
:18:53. > :18:55.It means she will not have to return to Pakistan,
:18:56. > :18:57.where abandoned wives and their children
:18:58. > :19:11.Six weeks on, and Ritu still has not found her husband.
:19:12. > :19:18.Her time in London is running out, but she's found a charity that
:19:19. > :19:20.There are only a handful of charities that specifically
:19:21. > :19:23.They have recently been overwhelmed with new cases,
:19:24. > :19:26.triggering calls for more systematic help from Governments and legal
:19:27. > :19:29.What we want to see is a better harmonisation of law,
:19:30. > :19:33.so that a woman can be granted a divorce in one country and have it
:19:34. > :19:40.A woman can be granted a maintenance order in one country and have it
:19:41. > :19:42.recognised in another, but also that governments
:19:43. > :19:45.and state agencies cooperate so if a woman is denied a right
:19:46. > :19:48.by sending her to another country, she is not stuck
:19:49. > :20:10.Ritu has finally found an address for her estranged husband.
:20:11. > :20:12.She decides that she wants to go there today.
:20:13. > :20:16.I don't know how Vikram will react to it and I don't know how
:20:17. > :20:20.I just want to know why my husband has abandon me from this marriage,
:20:21. > :20:22.why doesn't he let go of the relationship.
:20:23. > :20:24.So I really hope I get my answers today.
:20:25. > :20:27.This is the first time Ritu will see her husband in over
:20:28. > :20:30.eighteen months and due to the sensitivity of the situation,
:20:31. > :20:37.It was really sad that Vikram did not even recognise me.
:20:38. > :20:40.He doesn't want to answer any of my questions.
:20:41. > :20:42.In fact, the meeting was tense and her husband called the police.
:20:43. > :20:46.I spoke to the police, they said, "You need to go to India
:20:47. > :20:52.Now if the police can't help me, where will I go?
:20:53. > :20:58.I was expecting that it will be worth coming here,
:20:59. > :21:04.Ritu's husband denied all of her claims.
:21:05. > :21:07.There are no second chances for her to speak to him in the UK.
:21:08. > :21:09.Her flight back to India leaves tomorrow and she
:21:10. > :21:17.Unable to secure a divorce from their British husbands,
:21:18. > :21:20.many south Asian wives resign themselves to a life of injustice.
:21:21. > :21:26.A life where their chances of meeting another partner,
:21:27. > :21:29.of having a level of respect in their communities, are diminished.
:21:30. > :21:32.Yet their British husbands face no such cultural barriers.
:21:33. > :21:42.They are free to continue their lives as they wish.
:21:43. > :21:47.She is departing without securing a divorce, but with hope and faith
:21:48. > :21:59.that she will be able move forward with her life.
:22:00. > :22:02.When I was getting the blessings, you feel that inner strength in you,
:22:03. > :22:06.and you feel so positive, the vibrations around
:22:07. > :22:09.you and you just think, "Yes, things are going to work out,"
:22:10. > :22:58.and I hope with the grace of God, that I just get what I want.
:22:59. > :23:05.To say there is a mixed bag of weather on offer this afternoon
:23:06. > :23:08.would be underplaying the case. When this picture was taken by our
:23:09. > :23:09.Weather Watchers, you notice how threatening some of the cloud