0:00:10 > 0:00:12Hi, I'm Elaine Dunkley, and welcome to Inside Out.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14This week we've got a special selection of stories
0:00:14 > 0:00:17from across England as part of a major season on mental health
0:00:17 > 0:00:19on the BBC.
0:00:19 > 0:00:22It's called In The mind, and it's coming up.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24We reveal how mental health services are failing our
0:00:24 > 0:00:30most vulnerable children.
0:00:30 > 0:00:31The young carers:
0:00:31 > 0:00:33We will hear from a teenager who helps look
0:00:33 > 0:00:40after her father, who is bipolar and suffers from depression.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43And we talk to the badminton player who's beating bulimia,
0:00:43 > 0:00:45and look at the connection between eating disorders and sport.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49The journey from adolescence to adulthood can be a tough one,
0:00:56 > 0:00:59The journey from adolescence to adulthood can be a tough one,
0:00:59 > 0:01:02particularly for children struggling with mental health problems.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05During this period of transition, NHS support can make
0:01:05 > 0:01:10all the difference, sometimes between life and death.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Yet, because of the way our health system is structured,
0:01:13 > 0:01:15many young people with severe mental illnesses are simply falling out
0:01:15 > 0:01:18of the system or being denied care all together.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Dr Ann Singh has this story, and I should just say that some
0:01:28 > 0:01:29viewers may find it distressing from the start.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32I just want to die.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34I just can't imagine living.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36I want to die like there and then.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39It feels like I'm lost in a cave, there is no way out,
0:01:39 > 0:01:42and every time you think there is a way out, it always
0:01:42 > 0:01:43gets closed up.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46I don't want to breathe, I don't want to live,
0:01:46 > 0:01:49I don't want to use oxygen any more, I don't want to eat,
0:01:49 > 0:01:51I don't want to talk, I just don't want anything.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55I don't want life.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Growing numbers of our children are developing mental disorders,
0:02:00 > 0:02:03finding themselves locked in a struggle to control
0:02:03 > 0:02:05the disturbing thoughts in their minds.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09In fact, in the UK, around one in ten young people are now affected
0:02:09 > 0:02:12by mental illness.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16That's the equivalent of three pupils in every classroom.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19It's quite difficult being a young person in today's society,
0:02:19 > 0:02:21there is an increased risk of mental health problems and indeed
0:02:21 > 0:02:24a prevalence of mental health problems, you know,
0:02:24 > 0:02:26in recent years.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Girls tend to suffer more from kind of emotional
0:02:28 > 0:02:31difficulties, anxiety, depression.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Boys tend to have more kind of behavioural problems like autism
0:02:34 > 0:02:35spectrum disorders or ADHD or psychotic illnesses
0:02:35 > 0:02:41such as schizophrenia.
0:02:41 > 0:02:41That was so funny!
0:02:41 > 0:02:44I forgot I did that...
0:02:44 > 0:02:46At home in Croydon, 18-year-old Nicky Mattocks and a friend
0:02:46 > 0:02:50remembering the happy moments they shared growing up together.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52But there have also been tough times.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56For most of her life, Nicky has been mentally ill.
0:02:56 > 0:03:01When I was seven I realised I felt differently to most other people,
0:03:01 > 0:03:04because I told my mum that I just didn't want to be here anymore
0:03:04 > 0:03:06and said, why did you give birth to me?
0:03:06 > 0:03:12It's clear I'm not meant to be here.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15As she moved into her teenage years, Nikki developed a phobia of people,
0:03:15 > 0:03:16including her own family.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19I didn't speak to anyone, I literally just hid indoors,
0:03:19 > 0:03:21I wouldn't go to school, I wouldn't do anything.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24It was at that time that I started to hear voices.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Do you remember what those voices said?
0:03:26 > 0:03:30The voices, like, they would just be telling me to hurt myself, mainly.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Never to hurt anyone else.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34And did you hurt yourself?
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Yes.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40I hurt myself, I've lost count of how many times I have now.
0:03:40 > 0:03:48I hurt myself, I tried to kill myself, I did a lot of things.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51Just before her 15th birthday, Nikki made another suicide attempt,
0:03:51 > 0:03:54and was admitted to hospital.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56She was assessed by the children's mental-health services,
0:03:56 > 0:03:58and finally diagnosed with a number of conditions,
0:03:58 > 0:04:03including borderline personality disorder.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06I feel it in my head, so when I know I'm really not
0:04:06 > 0:04:09in a good place, like, it just hurts, I can't move,
0:04:09 > 0:04:10I can't even...
0:04:10 > 0:04:13My head just feels heavy.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17At just 13 years old, Stella from Lewisham began self-harming.
0:04:17 > 0:04:21She was diagnosed with emerging borderline personality disorder,
0:04:21 > 0:04:23and placed under the care of the children and adolescent
0:04:23 > 0:04:26mental health services.
0:04:26 > 0:04:27I tried loads of things.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29I went onto medication, and it didn't help.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31I had CBT, and it didn't help.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33I had psychodynamic psychotherapy, which didn't seem to improve
0:04:33 > 0:04:35anything.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Now on the cusp of turning 18, she is transitioning
0:04:37 > 0:04:40to adult services.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Transitioning is essentially moving from children and young people's
0:04:42 > 0:04:45care into adult care.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48Now, that transition should be seamless, because it is that key
0:04:48 > 0:04:50moment in a child's life.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53If you don't provide the right support at that point,
0:04:53 > 0:04:56very often children get much worse.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58I was staying within the same Trust.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01So my adult team can look at my notes and read what anybody
0:05:01 > 0:05:06has written about me in the past few years.
0:05:06 > 0:05:07Overall, my care has been excellent.
0:05:07 > 0:05:11I was lucky that my Camhs team gave it some thought and actually put me
0:05:11 > 0:05:14onto the adult waiting list in enough time so that by the time
0:05:14 > 0:05:16I was 18 I could go straight into adult CBT.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Stella's transitioning process is textbook perfect.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Maintaining professional treatment of her condition into adulthood
0:05:24 > 0:05:31increases her chances of staying healthy, but her experience is rare.
0:05:31 > 0:05:39You're going to be famous...
0:05:39 > 0:05:41A year ago, Nikki was discharged from the children's mental-health
0:05:41 > 0:05:43service, leaving her to fend for herself.
0:05:43 > 0:05:44What was your transition like?
0:05:44 > 0:05:45It was really confusing.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47You get put through so many different services you just lose
0:05:47 > 0:05:49track, and you lose hope quite quickly.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52I'm not in treatment, I'm on loads of different waiting lists.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56I can't be bothered with the NHS any more, like...
0:05:56 > 0:05:58In a personal, home-recorded diary, Nikki reveals the torment
0:05:58 > 0:06:00of being trapped in the void between children's and adult
0:06:01 > 0:06:03mental health services.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05I'm angry that the NHS didn't help me sooner,
0:06:05 > 0:06:08because I've been asking for help for ages.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10For, like, it's October now, I've been asking for help
0:06:10 > 0:06:14since January and I'm still waiting.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17And I doubt I'm going to get anywhere, to be honest.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18You feel like you're just...
0:06:18 > 0:06:21You're like, behind this glass wall, and everyone else is happy
0:06:21 > 0:06:26on the other side, and you're just trying to break the wall down
0:06:26 > 0:06:29and you just can't, and you think, what is the point?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31And it can just feel so hopeless.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Then...
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Then sometimes the only option that seems like it actually
0:06:36 > 0:06:43will help is suicide.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47A recent study suggests that in London only 4% of mentally ill
0:06:47 > 0:06:49young people moving from child to adult care experienced
0:06:49 > 0:06:51a good transition.
0:06:51 > 0:06:56The greater majority, 96%, end up slipping through the gap,
0:06:56 > 0:07:00struggling to get the care and support they need.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02I think we have huge problems right across London.
0:07:02 > 0:07:07The best support is required, and actually too often children
0:07:07 > 0:07:09getting the worst support, they are ending up...
0:07:09 > 0:07:13Their mental health is becoming worse as a result.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Music is one of the few things that have helped 18-year-old Joshua cope
0:07:18 > 0:07:23with what he describes as severe depression.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25He claims not to have received any care from adult mental health
0:07:25 > 0:07:29services since he turned 18.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32I have moved into adulthood, but I have had really no support,
0:07:32 > 0:07:35because I've been to my doctors a lot of times, and they haven't
0:07:35 > 0:07:37really given me the support that I have needed.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40They haven't given me counselling, they haven't given me the sessions
0:07:40 > 0:07:41that I would need.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43When I've tried to get support from the doctor,
0:07:43 > 0:07:45they said that they would do an assessment first,
0:07:45 > 0:07:49and that wasn't really carried out.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Joshua believes the lack of treatment has caused his
0:07:52 > 0:07:53depression to deepen.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56He is now desperate for help.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58When you suffer from depression, it feels like you're walking
0:07:58 > 0:08:00in the desert alone, no one is around you,
0:08:00 > 0:08:03and there are no people for miles and miles and miles.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06I need counselling, because if I'm not going to get counselling
0:08:06 > 0:08:08it is going to get worse and worse and worse.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12Because of differences in the way mental illnesses are now
0:08:12 > 0:08:15categorised, some young people's cases are being rated
0:08:15 > 0:08:19as less urgent.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22We have certainly seen cases where young people have been deemed
0:08:22 > 0:08:24to be in very serious crisis, and because they moved
0:08:24 > 0:08:27through into adult care, if you like the assessment
0:08:27 > 0:08:30of the particular illness is deemed lower, actually they don't get
0:08:30 > 0:08:33the support that they require.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37It is often because services are completely overloaded and under
0:08:37 > 0:08:41pressure, so they have had to raise their thresholds over
0:08:41 > 0:08:45the last year or so to cope with demand, so what happens is that
0:08:45 > 0:08:48many young people will fall off a cliff because they don't
0:08:48 > 0:08:52meet the criteria.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55With access to adult mental health services becoming increasingly
0:08:55 > 0:08:57difficult, many mentally ill young people on transition waiting lists
0:08:57 > 0:09:04only receive care after their lives have been at risk.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08After they have become suicidal, like Jade.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11When I was 17 I had a really bad turn, I tried to get back
0:09:11 > 0:09:15on with mental health services, and that took a really long time
0:09:15 > 0:09:20and it was a good six months or so before I finally got to be
0:09:20 > 0:09:24introduced to them, and by that point I was really bad and they just
0:09:24 > 0:09:27said, OK, you need to go into hospital.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29So I was in hospital for a month.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32When I got out of hospital, I was directly referred
0:09:32 > 0:09:35to mental health services.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Jade was fortunate.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40She got help just in time, but tragically, others have actually
0:09:40 > 0:09:43ended their lives after failing to successfully make the transition
0:09:43 > 0:09:48to adult mental health services.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51Part of my job is to attend the inquest of a child or young
0:09:51 > 0:09:54person who has died.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Often, but not always, one of the contributing factors
0:09:56 > 0:09:58seemed to be the experience of the young person
0:09:58 > 0:10:03through the movement from children's services to rival support services,
0:10:03 > 0:10:06and my appeal is wherever possible local commissioners need to find
0:10:06 > 0:10:13ways of having continuity through that transition,
0:10:13 > 0:10:17because that transition is itself a moment of crisis.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20I go to my doctors, I say, I'm self harming, I feel suicidal.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22What was the point in even asking for help?
0:10:22 > 0:10:28You just think, what's the point?
0:10:28 > 0:10:31What's the point in coming to the doctors when they just say,
0:10:31 > 0:10:32oh, go away?
0:10:32 > 0:10:33That's not their job.
0:10:33 > 0:10:38People died because they don't get help when they need it.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Shortly after recording these clips, Nicky managed to secure a course
0:10:41 > 0:10:47of counselling from the university she now attends in Guildford.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51It's a solution, for now.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Like thousands of other young people with mental illness in the UK,
0:10:54 > 0:10:56she is still counting on the NHS to provide the care
0:10:56 > 0:11:03she desperately needs.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Dr Ranj Singh reporting there.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12And for details of organisations offering advice and support
0:11:12 > 0:11:15on mental health, you can go online to bbc.co.uk/actionline or call
0:11:15 > 0:11:21the BBC Action Line to hear recorded information.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Lines are open 24 hours, and calls are free from landlines and mobiles.
0:11:29 > 0:11:33Caring for a loved one can be a tough enough job for an adult.
0:11:33 > 0:11:34Imagine what it's like for a teenager.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38It's estimated that there are 175,000 young carers across England.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41Keavy from Sussex helps look after her mum and dad.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44This is her story.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51It's different, but it's, like, a good kind of different,
0:11:51 > 0:11:53because you are your own person, you're not like all your friends.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55You kind of stand out from the crowd.
0:11:55 > 0:12:00It gives you a sense of pride.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02My name is Keavy, and I'm 15 years old.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Together with my sister, we helped look after our dad,
0:12:05 > 0:12:07who has mental health problems.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10And our mum, who uses a wheelchair.
0:12:13 > 0:12:18It can be a bit hard sometimes.
0:12:18 > 0:12:19This is my sister Kara.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21She's nine.
0:12:21 > 0:12:29Oh, and here's our dog, Woody.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33I'm going to get dad's medication.
0:12:33 > 0:12:34She does help me out.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37If I'm a bit late on it, I start getting a bit funny,
0:12:37 > 0:12:39but she just gets the tablets out.
0:12:39 > 0:12:40She does that for me.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44Generally she just says, come on, take your medication.
0:12:44 > 0:12:52He sometimes forgets things.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54You need to tell him over and over again.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58I've tried to take it all on top of me, because I feel that, like,
0:12:58 > 0:13:01where I'm the older one, I should be the one taking it all,
0:13:01 > 0:13:04not her, because I want her to have a child had as much
0:13:04 > 0:13:13as possible, and give what I didn't get properly.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16I don't think I'd be here if it wasn't for her.
0:13:16 > 0:13:16I'd be somewhere else.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18I can imagine.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21It has been my childhood since, like, the age of four,
0:13:21 > 0:13:24since I have been able to start doing stuff.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28For the past ten years I have been looking after...
0:13:28 > 0:13:30I did look after my mum at first.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33And then all this stuff with dad came, so I took that
0:13:33 > 0:13:35on board as well.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38Do you remember that?
0:13:38 > 0:13:39I remember than that.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42They say to me, you're not a normal dad, I'm not,
0:13:42 > 0:13:43I just can't...
0:13:43 > 0:13:44I don't know what it is, really.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47I just can't handle stuff sometimes with them.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Mum is a great support to us, but there is only
0:13:50 > 0:13:51so much she can do.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55I was born with spina bifida, which means I'm not actually
0:13:55 > 0:14:00paralysed but there is a split in my spine, but I can move my legs,
0:14:00 > 0:14:04but I can't walk, obviously.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07It upsets me, of course.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Because I just want him to be a normal dad and normal husband,
0:14:10 > 0:14:12like you see other families out and about, laughing
0:14:13 > 0:14:14and joking and that.
0:14:14 > 0:14:21It's very hard.
0:14:21 > 0:14:22Keavy?
0:14:22 > 0:14:23Yes, Miss.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26It doesn't really affect school as much as it used to do,
0:14:26 > 0:14:30I remember when I first started caring for dad, it used to scare me
0:14:30 > 0:14:38a bit with his moods, I didn't really understand.
0:14:38 > 0:14:4120 minutes, guys, can you just be finishing off now please?
0:14:41 > 0:14:42Happy with that?
0:14:42 > 0:14:44Yeah.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Now, as I have gotten older and people have told me,
0:14:47 > 0:14:49I can understand, so I don't really worry about what he's
0:14:49 > 0:14:52like when I come home, what he's going to be like,
0:14:52 > 0:14:56what his moods are going to be like.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Keavy helps him a bit more, because he gets confused
0:14:58 > 0:14:59about things quite a bit.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02She sits down and explains things to him.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Like, if it's on the iPad or something, he doesn't quite get
0:15:05 > 0:15:08it the first couple of times, and she is very patient and will sit
0:15:08 > 0:15:18there and explain it all over to him again.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21The red arrow warns spectators not to endanger themselves
0:15:21 > 0:15:22if the train is stopped.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24My dad has bipolar, and a personality disorder.
0:15:24 > 0:15:28But we're not afraid to talk about it.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34I take it three times a day, once in the morning,
0:15:34 > 0:15:36once at lunchtime and once in the evening.
0:15:36 > 0:15:37It makes me sleep better, but...
0:15:37 > 0:15:40I'm on an antidepressant in the morning as well.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42It is literally through the day.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45I don't think people realise, people walking down the road,
0:15:45 > 0:15:48you wouldn't know the difference, you wouldn't know if it's me
0:15:48 > 0:15:50or you had it.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53But I don't find it difficult now, I did sometimes.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55People start calling you mental, but it's just a word that
0:15:55 > 0:16:01people associate you with.
0:16:01 > 0:16:06A few years ago, things got so bad that we nearly lost dad.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10I had enough, I had a cigarette on here, and I was hanging over
0:16:10 > 0:16:14there, literally hanging over, and the next thing you know
0:16:14 > 0:16:18there were three police cars coming round here.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19It's silly, isn't it?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21The silly things go through your head.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23I couldn't do it again, no way.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27A total waste.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30I've got to get on with it, I have no choice.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32I've got kids now, and I'm back.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42Don't overload it, sweetheart.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45I think people should be aware of how many young carers
0:16:45 > 0:16:47there actually are.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50A lot is said about adult carers, but I think young
0:16:50 > 0:16:57carers are forgotten.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01A lot of them are under the radar.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02What kind of milkshake?
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Strawberry.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07I used to go to a young carers' club, but then they got cut.
0:17:07 > 0:17:13Kara only has her clubs now, which I help out at.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17I go every fortnight.
0:17:17 > 0:17:27And I do different things, like playing and making stuff.
0:17:29 > 0:17:30How do you feel when you are there?
0:17:30 > 0:17:31Relaxed.
0:17:31 > 0:17:36And calm.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40How would you feel if you didn't have a club to go to?
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Stressed out.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45We just found out that from next month Kara's club
0:17:45 > 0:17:48is going to be cut, too.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50But at least we've still got each other.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52We're like typical sisters, to be honest.
0:17:52 > 0:17:57We get on, and sometimes we don't, we fight, shout at each other.
0:17:57 > 0:18:02And, yeah, we just annoy each other, but that's what sisters do,
0:18:02 > 0:18:05I guess.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Well, that's my family, I hope that by letting you in,
0:18:08 > 0:18:11even just for a short time, will mean that more of us can talk
0:18:11 > 0:18:16openly about mental health problems.
0:18:16 > 0:18:17My girls are my world.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21They're so, so special.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25And I'm so proud to have two lovely girls that help, and I wouldn't
0:18:25 > 0:18:28want to be in their position if I was their age.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30I'd rather be going out doing things, instead of looking
0:18:30 > 0:18:35after my mum and dad.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39Somethings, yeah, I do feel like running away from it all.
0:18:39 > 0:18:45But then I sit and think and look at it and realised
0:18:45 > 0:18:48that there are people probably in a worse situation than me.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52Thinking about it, I've got it quite lucky.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Sportsmen and women project an image of physical perfection,
0:19:01 > 0:19:04but sometimes beneath the body beautiful ther can be a dangerous
0:19:04 > 0:19:10mental health condition.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Jenny Wallwork from Leeds ranks among the world's top badminton
0:19:12 > 0:19:15players, but last year she stunned the sporting world by revealing that
0:19:15 > 0:19:18at the height of her success she had an eating disorder.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21As Johnny Hansen has been finding out, she is by no means the only
0:19:21 > 0:19:24athlete with this illness.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30Jenny Wallwork was destined for badminton success.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32You have won the under-13s national singles titles before,
0:19:32 > 0:19:35how long did it take you to reach that standard?
0:19:35 > 0:19:40I started when I was about eight, and I'm 13 now.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43But this assured and seemingly effortless rise to the top
0:19:43 > 0:19:46masked a secret.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49Looking back now, I've realised, you know, from 18 years old,
0:19:49 > 0:19:53I had started to put on a bit of weight, and it was a case
0:19:53 > 0:19:56of training as hard as I possibly could every day, making sure I'm
0:19:56 > 0:19:58burning off 1000 calories at the end of the day,
0:19:58 > 0:20:02to make sure that I know that I'm not going to be putting on weight.
0:20:03 > 0:20:04This obsession took hold.
0:20:04 > 0:20:05Outwardly, all seemed well.
0:20:05 > 0:20:10Secretly, she was taking laxatives and forcing herself to be sick.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13I was struggling, I was worried that this, something that had
0:20:13 > 0:20:18initially started out as a habit, was now an addiction.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22And I was worried that I was going to die because of it.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24There are an estimated 1.6 million people in the UK
0:20:24 > 0:20:26with eating disorders.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30Bulimia, one of the most common, is hardest to spot.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32We have a range of factors that leave people more vulnerable
0:20:32 > 0:20:34to eating disorders - things like their perfectionism,
0:20:34 > 0:20:37perhaps they are high achievers, bulimia becomes a way of managing
0:20:37 > 0:20:39something, a way of managing emotions by focusing on diet
0:20:39 > 0:20:46and shape and weight.
0:20:46 > 0:20:50Professionally, it seemed it couldn't get any better.
0:20:50 > 0:20:55Jenny was ranked fifth in the world.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58I had training sessions where I could feel pains
0:20:58 > 0:21:01in my heart, and I, all I was thinking was,
0:21:01 > 0:21:03"I'm going to have a heart attack."
0:21:03 > 0:21:06I didn't know whether I was going to end up collapsing
0:21:06 > 0:21:08on court at that stage.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10I thought, what the hell am I doing?
0:21:10 > 0:21:14To tell my parents was the hardest thing I've ever done.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Do you remember that conversation where Jenny came in and said,
0:21:17 > 0:21:18"I have an eating disorder?"
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Oh yes.
0:21:21 > 0:21:27Yes, it was a bit of disbelief, and then a bit of fear in terms
0:21:27 > 0:21:32of not being sure how to help her.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34It's just a horrible thing, because, you know, you want to be
0:21:34 > 0:21:37there completely for your child, no matter what age they get to.
0:21:37 > 0:21:43And it was just horrible.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48The next step was to seek treatment, but looking the perfect
0:21:48 > 0:21:51athlete, Jenny struggled to be taken seriously.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54I relapsed after I was fine for two years, then I was tired
0:21:54 > 0:21:56and I relapsed again.
0:21:56 > 0:22:03It is definitely a fight.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Cricketer Andrew Flintoff, hurdler Colin Jackson...
0:22:05 > 0:22:08Jenny is not the only athlete to confess an eating disorder.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10And distance runner and psychologist Caroline Plateau
0:22:10 > 0:22:16is researching the connection.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Certain things, like having to compete in quite tight,
0:22:18 > 0:22:19revealing clothing can promote body dissatisfaction
0:22:19 > 0:22:22and comparison across athletes.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26Also, beliefs and sporting culture that actually the thinner you are,
0:22:26 > 0:22:27the leaner you are, the better your performance
0:22:28 > 0:22:30is going to be.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33But this adds up to an alarming statistic.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35The estimate is about one in five female athletes present
0:22:35 > 0:22:36with eating disorders.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39In male athletes, around one in 12.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41If we compare that to the general population, where we see
0:22:41 > 0:22:44roughly one in 50 people, you can see it is very highly
0:22:44 > 0:22:49prevalent in sportsmen and women.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53So, should more be done to watch out for the danger to athletes?
0:22:53 > 0:22:56In Jenny's case, for example, could it have been picked up earlier?
0:22:56 > 0:22:58She was normally quite easy to read in the training hall,
0:22:58 > 0:23:02and you could tell where she was in terms of her comfort
0:23:02 > 0:23:05levels for the training.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08So it was a total shock when I heard that she had been suffering
0:23:08 > 0:23:14from that, for some time as well.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17If you have no signs, and she's really hiding things very
0:23:17 > 0:23:20well, still training at full levels, still winning, then, you know,
0:23:20 > 0:23:24there is no question it's extremely difficult to detect.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27UK Sport tell us they take this issue very seriously,
0:23:27 > 0:23:28and offer a range of support services to
0:23:29 > 0:23:30high-performance athletes.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33A national eating disorder working group is now raising awareness,
0:23:33 > 0:23:35and offers help to parents, coaches and athletes
0:23:35 > 0:23:37at all levels of sport.
0:23:37 > 0:23:43The taboos around sport and eating disorders makes this
0:23:43 > 0:23:45a rather unusual event.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48It is a badminton day to launch Jenny's foundation, set up to raise
0:23:48 > 0:23:50awareness of the illness, and former England team-mates have
0:23:50 > 0:23:53turned out in force.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57Most athletes are born with some sort of crazy competitive nature,
0:23:57 > 0:24:00and of course that's what kind of makes us go that extra distance.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03I mean, this isn't a one-off situation, I think there are people
0:24:03 > 0:24:06struggling with it throughout sport and life.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08It's been quite emotional, actually.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11I woke up this morning and I was quite upset about it,
0:24:11 > 0:24:14not in a negative way, in a really positive way,
0:24:14 > 0:24:17because I thought it's so nice, there are so many people out
0:24:17 > 0:24:18wanting to support me.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22For us it's hard, because we're looking at her, and thinking,
0:24:22 > 0:24:23who is helping you?
0:24:23 > 0:24:31But she's saying, by doing what she's doing, it is helping her.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34It is a serious illness, and if we can create a better
0:24:34 > 0:24:36understanding for people, hopefully it will help people
0:24:36 > 0:24:39suffering in the future.
0:24:45 > 0:24:46Well, that's it from us for this week.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49If you'd like to join in the conversational mental health,
0:24:49 > 0:24:59please tweet us.
0:24:59 > 0:25:00Hashtag #inthemind, all one word.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Don't forget if you would like to see more stories
0:25:02 > 0:25:05from your area then join our inside out teams on Monday evening
0:25:05 > 0:25:07at 7:30pm on BBC One, or on the BBC iPlayer.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14The weekend is looking a little bit mixed on the weather front.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18For most of us it is going to be cloudy with a few spots of rain,
0:25:18 > 0:25:19quite windy, too.
0:25:19 > 0:25:23In one or two areas we are going to get a fair bit of wet weather.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26There is a lot of cloud out there in the Atlantic