0:00:02 > 0:00:05Welcome to Man Lab, the arena where the global modern bloke
0:00:05 > 0:00:07scales the peak of prowess
0:00:07 > 0:00:11and shakes from his boots the cloying mud of inadequacy.
0:00:30 > 0:00:31Coming up:
0:00:31 > 0:00:35Go! 'We reach for the stars, performing a funeral Man Lab style.'
0:00:37 > 0:00:40Prometheus is unbound in our home foundry.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44Do not show that on camera. If my wife sees that, we are dead.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46And I take on the simple task
0:00:46 > 0:00:49of revolutionising the entire male wardrobe.
0:00:49 > 0:00:53I think the reaction out there will be either amazement,
0:00:53 > 0:00:56or utter bewilderment.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04Later on, we'll be attempting to put an end
0:01:04 > 0:01:07to the tyranny of male fashion.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09But first, the history of high-altitude flight
0:01:09 > 0:01:12is littered with the names of the bold and the daring.
0:01:12 > 0:01:18From Pilatre de Rozier in the Montgolfier Brothers' hot air balloon in 1783,
0:01:18 > 0:01:23to Neil Armstrong and Joe Walker in the Bell X-15 in the early 1960s.
0:01:23 > 0:01:28The quest to go ever higher is one of humankind's oldest obsessions.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31But it's one that we at Man Lab have yet to confront,
0:01:31 > 0:01:33mainly for budgetary reasons.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Our mission, then, to add our own glorious chapter
0:01:36 > 0:01:39to the book of altitude, for a few hundred quid.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42And for help, we turn to the true pioneers.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44The first passengers in a hot air balloon
0:01:44 > 0:01:48were a duck, a sheep and a chicken.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51The first Russian in space was Laika, a dog.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54And the first American was Ham, a chimp.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56The British household pet
0:01:56 > 0:01:59was key to our cut-price sub-orbital mission.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Then we discovered that the RSPCA has some annoying rules
0:02:02 > 0:02:07about not catapulting live animals beyond the final frontier.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10But don't worry. We've found a loophole,
0:02:10 > 0:02:13and an unsuspecting crew of a cat and a bird.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16And...here they are.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20This is Tommy, God rest his whiskers,
0:02:20 > 0:02:23and this is Budgie, may his soul take wings.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Both of them tragically passed away earlier this year,
0:02:26 > 0:02:29and their owners have expressed a wish for their ashes
0:02:29 > 0:02:32to be scattered to the four winds.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Welcome, then, to the pet cemetery of the future.
0:02:35 > 0:02:39The Man Lab Space Funeral.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47Our mission began with our two brave volunteers.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52Or rather, permission from their owners.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54I think it's really good that Tommy's going up there,
0:02:54 > 0:02:57into the outer atmosphere.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01Because Tommy had very itchy feet.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04And if he'd been able to climb on a rocket or a balloon
0:03:04 > 0:03:05and go up there on his own,
0:03:05 > 0:03:08I'm pretty sure that's what he would have done,
0:03:08 > 0:03:10cos that's the type of cat he was.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14This budgie was known to me as number 35.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16I've got that many, I don't give them names.
0:03:16 > 0:03:20And nothing particularly wonderful has happened to me in my life,
0:03:20 > 0:03:24but now it appears I'm going to be part of the space race,
0:03:24 > 0:03:26along with number 35.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28You think that's enough, yeah?
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Our plan was a simple one.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Taking the urns containing our recently-cremated companions,
0:03:33 > 0:03:35we would attach them to balloons,
0:03:35 > 0:03:38which would take them up to the edge of the Earth's atmosphere
0:03:38 > 0:03:43and then release them, somehow, into the comforting black void.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47So, in order to test our plan, we bashed together an urn prototype,
0:03:47 > 0:03:50containing a miniature camera, and sombrely inflated
0:03:50 > 0:03:54our trans-atmospheric, trans-theological transport solution.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58Let's go through, and see if it'll take off.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07And...it worked.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18But it did leave us with some problems.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21One - it had taken 35 balloons
0:04:21 > 0:04:25to lift one quite light version of our urn.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Two - our prototype urn only had one camera on it,
0:04:28 > 0:04:31which was a bit risky if it got damaged.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34And three - all our hard work was now stuck on the ceiling.
0:04:36 > 0:04:37It works!
0:04:38 > 0:04:42With a quick bit of woodwork, problem three had a solution.
0:04:44 > 0:04:45BALLOON POPS, CHEERING
0:04:47 > 0:04:50The other problems, however, needed a bit more thought.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53We decided to make the switch from lots of little balloons
0:04:53 > 0:04:56to one large weather balloon per pet.
0:04:56 > 0:05:00But what to put in that balloon divided the Man Lab.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03We would like to use some hydrogen.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05So hydrogen has the advantage of being lighter.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09Everybody always uses helium. Hydrogen's about half the weight,
0:05:09 > 0:05:11so it's going to give us more lift. It'll go up fast.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15But Simmy wants to stick with the party favourite - helium.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Doesn't matter about lift.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20They've got twice as much lift, but it doesn't matter.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Cos the thing is we're only lifting a small amount of weight,
0:05:23 > 0:05:26so I'm hoping we'll get more height.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29What began as a respectful goodbye to our feathered and furry friends
0:05:29 > 0:05:32has now become competitive.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36But that's the price of progress at the cutting edge of pet ash creative disposal.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Team Hydrogen, led by Dr Ben and Dan,
0:05:39 > 0:05:43will be in charge of the remains of budgie number 35, the budgie.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Team Helium, led by me and Simmy, will oversee
0:05:45 > 0:05:48the final, ethereal voyage of Tommy the cat.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50He's not only travelled to the New Forest
0:05:50 > 0:05:55and come back from Manchester, and he's travelled down to Birmingham
0:05:55 > 0:06:01and come back but this, for Tommy, I think will be the ultimate trip.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Out into space, good on you, boy.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Back at the Lab, we've decided to get around
0:06:06 > 0:06:10the urn problem by having the balloons themselves hold the ashes.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13As the balloons climb and the air pressure around them decreases,
0:06:13 > 0:06:15the gases inside will expand them
0:06:15 > 0:06:17to the size of a sperm whale.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Eventually they'll pop,
0:06:19 > 0:06:22and the ashes will float out like little clouds of pet soul.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26This also leaves the gondola below each balloon free
0:06:26 > 0:06:27to stuff with cameras.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Cunningly designed so that when the strings pull,
0:06:30 > 0:06:32it pushes down on the camera.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Superb.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37All that remains is to perform a brief homage to Blue Peter
0:06:37 > 0:06:41and the remains of Tommy and Budgie are ready to meet their maker.
0:06:41 > 0:06:46This vaguely cat-shaped gondola will be suspended below the balloon
0:06:46 > 0:06:50and contains all the scientific equipment necessary
0:06:50 > 0:06:53to record Tommy's ascent to heaven.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55There's a camera where his face would normally be.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59It will be looking at a portrait of Tommy,
0:06:59 > 0:07:01so we can see him, up in the heavens.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04There's another camera at the back, which will give us a wonderful shot
0:07:04 > 0:07:06of the Earth, the curvature of the Earth
0:07:06 > 0:07:09and our position in space, effectively.
0:07:09 > 0:07:13There's a similar arrangement over here for Budgie.
0:07:13 > 0:07:18Here it is - it's shaped again vaguely like a budgie's head,
0:07:18 > 0:07:21so that we know which one is which.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Camera looking upwards, camera looking forwards,
0:07:23 > 0:07:27nice portrait of Budgie there in his last days in his cage.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29And this is particularly poignant,
0:07:29 > 0:07:32because Budgie's life was cut so tragically short,
0:07:32 > 0:07:35he was never even given a name by his breeder,
0:07:35 > 0:07:38he simply lived and died briefly in his cage.
0:07:38 > 0:07:43Now, of course, he could achieve a sort of immortality during his ascent.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Well, most budgies are normally cremated,
0:07:45 > 0:07:47and just sit scattered on the earth.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51But this is a first for the budgerigar world, I think.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54And the fact that this bird's gone into space, its ashes,
0:07:54 > 0:07:57will give it a place in history.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Back in the field, the two rival air hearses -
0:08:00 > 0:08:03one helium, one hydrogen - are inflating fast.
0:08:03 > 0:08:08Now for the part where a cock-up wouldn't be funny.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10This is the bit we must do reverentially.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12We're going to feed this into the balloon.
0:08:12 > 0:08:16The ash will be floating free in the balloon so when it pops,
0:08:16 > 0:08:18they will be scattered and Tommy will become,
0:08:18 > 0:08:22as WB Yeats may have said, a part of the constellations of heaven.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26'So the dust of Tommy is deposited
0:08:26 > 0:08:29'in the sacred vault of the helium balloon.
0:08:29 > 0:08:35'Dr Ben's Team Hydrogen is paying similar respects to Budgie no.35,
0:08:35 > 0:08:36'The Budgie.'
0:08:45 > 0:08:51And so, finally, our pioneers in the afterlife are ready for launch.
0:08:56 > 0:08:57This is, or course, a funeral.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01It's a sky burial and should be afforded the dignity
0:09:01 > 0:09:03that such an occasion demands.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06But, on a more fatuous level, it's also a race.
0:09:06 > 0:09:10It is Simmy's team versus Dr Ben's team.
0:09:10 > 0:09:15It's helium versus hydrogen, and it's cat versus budgie.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18As in life, so it would appear in death.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Are we ready?
0:09:22 > 0:09:27Three, two, one...go!
0:09:27 > 0:09:30MAJESTIC ORCHESTRAL VERSION OF "AMAZING GRACE" PLAYS
0:09:54 > 0:09:56'Right!'
0:09:56 > 0:10:00HEAVY ROCK VERSION OF "AMAZING GRACE" PLAYS
0:10:03 > 0:10:06There are actually two races involved here.
0:10:06 > 0:10:07One is the race to altitude
0:10:07 > 0:10:10to see whether cat or budgie gets highest,
0:10:10 > 0:10:12and how long it takes to get there,
0:10:12 > 0:10:13but when the balloons pop,
0:10:13 > 0:10:16all our information and pictures fall back to Earth,
0:10:16 > 0:10:19and we have a race to find them and recover them.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22This equipment is going to do most of that work for us.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24- This noise you can hear... - BLEEPING
0:10:24 > 0:10:27..is the data, the raw binary data
0:10:27 > 0:10:29coming back from the transmitter inside our balloon,
0:10:29 > 0:10:33that's cat balloon, that tells us where it is with GPS.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36It's decoded on this screen, this gives us information
0:10:36 > 0:10:39on how high it is, what the time is,
0:10:39 > 0:10:42its coordinates, lat and long, temperature and so on,
0:10:42 > 0:10:44and this, later, can be further decoded
0:10:44 > 0:10:47into a map like your car sat nav,
0:10:47 > 0:10:49which will tell us in James Bond style
0:10:49 > 0:10:52with a little bleep on the screen where it is when it lands.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55At just under 500 metres, Tommy the cat
0:10:55 > 0:10:58and our helium balloon have a clear lead.
0:10:58 > 0:11:03But Budgie and Dr Ben's Team Hydrogen are gaining fast.
0:11:03 > 0:11:08So far, I believe, that the cat is 300 metres above the budgie.
0:11:08 > 0:11:09So far, bad news for us.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13But we can hope it can change.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16And change it does, as just moments later,
0:11:16 > 0:11:20budgie no.35, The Budgie, strikes a blow for birds harassed by felines everywhere,
0:11:20 > 0:11:23draws level with Tommy and then overtakes.
0:11:25 > 0:11:26The budgie is ahead?
0:11:26 > 0:11:29The cat had a short moment of glory, but we are ahead!
0:11:31 > 0:11:34There's no answer. James May is not answering!
0:11:36 > 0:11:38He clearly knows that we're ahead,
0:11:38 > 0:11:40and doesn't want to look defeat in the eye.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48In fact, Budgie continues its lead, all the way up to 1,000 metres.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50Back on the ground,
0:11:50 > 0:11:53I can't ignore my fellow funeral director any longer.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55MOBILE RINGS
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Hang on - it's the rival team.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Hello, rival team.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03Hello, Mr James May. The loser of the moment, I believe?
0:12:03 > 0:12:06'Oh, shut up.' Really?
0:12:06 > 0:12:10I'm afraid your cat is dragging behind.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13Well, I look forward to yours coming down in a fireball.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16- Erm, I'll ring you back in a bit. - HE CHUCKLES
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Roger. Bye.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21That's shocking news!
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Budgie has leapt ahead now by...
0:12:23 > 0:12:26nearly 1,000 metres. That is strange.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Dr Ben is claiming that is to do with
0:12:28 > 0:12:32the unusual properties of hydrogen and how it behaves at low altitude,
0:12:32 > 0:12:35but having reached a certain height, it's then...
0:12:35 > 0:12:38well, it's gone off like a rocket, to be honest,
0:12:38 > 0:12:40even though it's only a balloon.
0:12:41 > 0:12:42I'm staggered by that.
0:12:43 > 0:12:48So Tommy the cat may be lagging behind in his journey to a better place,
0:12:48 > 0:12:50but as the balloons rise ever closer to the clouds,
0:12:50 > 0:12:54the strange ethereal beauty of our flying funeral
0:12:54 > 0:12:57is enough to stop anyone from being a sourpuss.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01MUSIC: "Welcome Home" by Radical Face
0:13:39 > 0:13:43The buffeting through the clouds has cost Budgie its advantage,
0:13:43 > 0:13:47and the two animals are neck and neck again in the final race to heaven.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Tommy and Budgie leave the troposphere,
0:13:59 > 0:14:02and head for the stratosphere,
0:14:02 > 0:14:05pushing past 18,000 metres in height.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07That's the equivalent of two Mount Everests,
0:14:07 > 0:14:11or 11,613 Oz Clarkes.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15The whole project is probably £500 worth at the most,
0:14:15 > 0:14:18assuming we manage to recover our expensive cameras,
0:14:18 > 0:14:23and we're already beating the highest-flying aeroplanes available today.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Very soon, our balloon will be at the point
0:14:25 > 0:14:27where the only things higher than it
0:14:27 > 0:14:29will be the International Space Station
0:14:29 > 0:14:31and the Hubble Space Telescope.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34After that, it's the infinity of space.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05'Back on the ground, we've caught up to the balloons' current position.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08'Time to see if we can get an eyeball on them.'
0:15:10 > 0:15:13I can't see bugger all.
0:15:14 > 0:15:18'What we don't quite realise is that trying to spot Tommy and Budgie
0:15:18 > 0:15:21'through a pair of binoculars is an exercise in futility.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24'Because, unbeknownst to us,
0:15:24 > 0:15:28'they have reached an incredible height of 25 kilometres,
0:15:28 > 0:15:32'soaring into the stratosphere to become
0:15:32 > 0:15:34'pets at the edge of space.'
0:16:04 > 0:16:07This is a sewing machine.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11Something like it has been with us for many generations,
0:16:11 > 0:16:13and it was a brilliant invention.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16It clothed the masses affordably,
0:16:16 > 0:16:20it stopped old people banging on about how they'd only ever had one shirt
0:16:20 > 0:16:23and they wore it every day for "fotty yerr".
0:16:23 > 0:16:26However, there was a dark side to all this.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30In fact, the sewing machine has become unstoppable.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33It is responsible for an annual global tsunami
0:16:33 > 0:16:36of over 50 billion fashion items,
0:16:36 > 0:16:40all spewing forth from the massed ranks of Singers
0:16:40 > 0:16:43and Necchis and Brothers and Toyotas.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46No-one is safe. Not even me, as it turns out.
0:16:46 > 0:16:51Here is just a small part of the James May spring/summer collection.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53When I look at it I have to ask,
0:16:53 > 0:16:56what was I thinking of when I chose that?
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Or, for that matter, that? Or that?
0:16:59 > 0:17:03Or indeed that, or any of the other things on this rack?
0:17:03 > 0:17:06And, more to the point, even in a whole lifetime,
0:17:06 > 0:17:10I couldn't expect to wear out that many shirts.
0:17:10 > 0:17:14I mean, look at this thing. I've never even worn it.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16And here's a sobering thought.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18I've calculated that, every day,
0:17:18 > 0:17:24the men of Britain waste 2 million man-hours deciding what to put on.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Now, imagine how much more constructively
0:17:26 > 0:17:28we could use all that time.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Imagine if you went to the wardrobe
0:17:30 > 0:17:33and there was a choice of just one thing.
0:17:33 > 0:17:37All men would be free of this ridiculous tyranny of trends
0:17:37 > 0:17:40to stride forth and achieve greatness,
0:17:40 > 0:17:44and that is why I have made it my quest to restore to glory...
0:17:46 > 0:17:47..the boiler suit.
0:17:49 > 0:17:54The inspiration for this revolution came from one great man.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56'In Washington, in the gardens of the White House,
0:17:56 > 0:17:59'Mr Churchill demonstrating his siren suit.'
0:17:59 > 0:18:03Churchill wore his one-piece siren suit through much of World War II.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06'Wherever the premier went, it was the same story.'
0:18:06 > 0:18:09The message was clear. Single suitedness meant single-mindedness.
0:18:09 > 0:18:13Wearing a boiler suit left Churchill's head clear
0:18:13 > 0:18:15for the job of bashing Hitler's moustache off.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Loads of clothes, on the other hand, means poncing about.
0:18:18 > 0:18:23An overload of labels spiralling us into fashion disaster.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26And the men of the 21st century seem to agree.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Do men have too many clothes? Yeah, I think they do.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32I have too many clothes. I've got loads of clothes.
0:18:32 > 0:18:36It would be efficient. It'd be easy in the morning, I suppose.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39Yes, it would be of great benefit to mankind
0:18:39 > 0:18:41if there was only one bit of clothing.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45But as with the telephone and the light bulb, not everyone is convinced.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47I don't think a boiler suit's very fashionable at all.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Part of the problem is that people see the boiler suit
0:18:51 > 0:18:55as a sort of cheap, one-size-fits-no-one commodity
0:18:55 > 0:18:58available from a DIY shop for £5,
0:18:58 > 0:19:02so let's begins its revival by giving it some posh provenance.
0:19:02 > 0:19:07This notion is what takes me to a place I've never visited before,
0:19:07 > 0:19:11London's Savile Row, home to some of the best tailors in the country.
0:19:11 > 0:19:15'If I'm to convince blokes that one piece of clothing is enough,
0:19:15 > 0:19:19'I need to at least be sure that my arse doesn't look big in it.'
0:19:19 > 0:19:23I want to make the boiler suit a sort of default choice.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26You get up in the morning, "What do I wear? It's my boiler suit."
0:19:26 > 0:19:29I can see a case for making it more tailored.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31In its current state, it's very basic.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35The sewing leaves quite a lot to be desired, I'd imagine the fit does.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37- Right, shall we measure me?- Yep.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40- Dubois!- Dubois!
0:19:41 > 0:19:42Jacket waist, 39.
0:19:42 > 0:19:47- That's not your trouser waist, it's your jacket.- It's my belly.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51'Dubois measures everything about me,
0:19:51 > 0:19:53'but he doesn't ask me which way I dress.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56He can probably tell that the answer is "very badly".
0:19:56 > 0:19:58Inside leg... 33.
0:19:58 > 0:20:03'And I know I said it had to fit around the back, but is this really necessary?'
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- So that's the diameter of my buttocks?- Yeah.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08- The circumference, rather.- Yeah.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12'So, with the exact circumference of my buttocks recorded for posteriority,
0:20:12 > 0:20:18'Dubois makes a start on the first step of my suit to end all suits.
0:20:18 > 0:20:19'A bespoke paper template.'
0:20:19 > 0:20:22This is the front of the trousers.
0:20:22 > 0:20:26- That is...that.- That's that. Yeah.
0:20:26 > 0:20:31'Dubois would like me to go away, so I do, to choose a suitable fabric.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34'I'm going for sturdy wool rather than the boiler suit's
0:20:34 > 0:20:37'usual "electric shock from the door handle" nylon.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39'Pocket linings are the one area
0:20:39 > 0:20:43'where I COULD fall victim to my love of loud fabrics.'
0:20:43 > 0:20:48- Have you got anything a bit more patterned?- Yup... - A bit more flamboyant?
0:20:48 > 0:20:51If we look for something like a Jacquard lining...
0:20:51 > 0:20:54- These are, you know, your flower sort of motif.- Yes...
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Yes... Yes...
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Yes... Ooh, yes.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04'I must fight this urge. Sir Winston Churchill wouldn't have done this.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08'Stick to the basic boiler suit, you fool!'
0:21:08 > 0:21:10'Mind you...look at these.'
0:21:10 > 0:21:12That's got butterflies on it.
0:21:13 > 0:21:20I think I'd quite like the butterfly one, and the...space disc thing.
0:21:20 > 0:21:25'I may have been sucked into the abyss of what's hot this season just then, but it's all OK.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29'I'm not saying every man has to wear exactly the same boiler suit -
0:21:29 > 0:21:32'after all, my inspiration was Churchill, not Chairman Mao.
0:21:32 > 0:21:36'The point I'm making is that every man should have only one suit.
0:21:36 > 0:21:40'How they style it, and for what purpose, is up to them.'
0:21:40 > 0:21:42'And perhaps I'm being a bit square.
0:21:42 > 0:21:46'Maybe the boiler suit deserves a more liberal reinterpretation.
0:21:46 > 0:21:51'To activate stage two of Operation Onesie, I recruit some trendy fashion students.'
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Wow, look at all this.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56'Even though wearing just one outfit the rest of your life goes against
0:21:56 > 0:22:01'everything they're taught and stand for, the students have excelled themselves.'
0:22:01 > 0:22:04- Oh, I see, those are the tails. - Yes.- Oh, got you.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07They wrap round from the bottom up and round,
0:22:07 > 0:22:08so they come round the front.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11It's formal wear and work wear at the same time.
0:22:11 > 0:22:16- I could just step into it in the morning without having to find the separate jacket.- Yeah.
0:22:16 > 0:22:21- Is that me?- Yeah, it's a young version.- Oh, thank you.
0:22:21 > 0:22:25'To them, the boiler suit has become the muse of the style conscious.'
0:22:25 > 0:22:29Lots of different functions, pockets for different size things...
0:22:29 > 0:22:30"Sandwich pocket"?!
0:22:30 > 0:22:32This one was my dad's idea.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35He said the last thing he'd want to do is unzip it all,
0:22:35 > 0:22:37take all his sleeves off if he needed a number two.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40- A poo-flap on a boiler suit(?) - LAUGHTER
0:22:40 > 0:22:43I mean, he does have a point, I hadn't thought of that.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47'Like artists, some of them may have revealed things about themselves.'
0:22:47 > 0:22:50This is going to have a slight sort of bondage look to it?
0:22:50 > 0:22:53It's sort of a slight cross between The Terminator
0:22:53 > 0:22:55- and the Village People. - LAUGHTER
0:22:55 > 0:22:58- 'And then, there's Adam.' Hi.- Hi.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Hang on a minute, this man's got antlers.
0:23:01 > 0:23:05- Yeah, it's...- Why... Why has he got antlers growing out of his head?
0:23:05 > 0:23:09Because I really like the antlers... What I'm wearing is,
0:23:09 > 0:23:12this one, is antler, actually.
0:23:12 > 0:23:13LAUGHTER
0:23:13 > 0:23:18I'd just... I'd just never thought of it, that's all -
0:23:18 > 0:23:21"I'm ready for this party - oh, no, bugger, I've forgotten my antlers!"
0:23:21 > 0:23:24'Despite his strange ideas about head furniture,
0:23:24 > 0:23:27'one of Adam's designs looked rather brilliant.'
0:23:27 > 0:23:31Just make sure I've understood this. So all the red flaps...
0:23:31 > 0:23:34You can tailor over, so get everything covered.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38- Could you really make that? - Yeah, I can.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41'Suddenly, the traditionally soot-stained boiler-based
0:23:41 > 0:23:44'all-in-one is the avant-garde of acceptability.
0:23:44 > 0:23:48'And so, like Victorian children yoked to lethal machinery
0:23:48 > 0:23:51'for no pay, the students set to work.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55'Good. I've decided to take the fight straight to the enemy.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58'We're going to take our collection to the catwalk at Earls Court,
0:23:58 > 0:24:02'right in the middle of the prestigious Graduate Fashion Week.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04'If this works, man will be free,
0:24:04 > 0:24:08'and the wardrobe can be used for something useful. On the other hand,
0:24:08 > 0:24:12'I could end up looking like a berk in a babygro.'
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Adam's attempt to turn those antlers
0:24:16 > 0:24:19into a very useful and practical fashion accessory
0:24:19 > 0:24:23got us thinking about the very topical issue of recycling.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26Now, this, as I'm sure you know, is a lemon squeezer
0:24:26 > 0:24:29and it's a very attractive thing.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33Unfortunately, though, it does fall rather short in its intended role
0:24:33 > 0:24:37as a squeezer of lemons, because when you use it it's unstable,
0:24:37 > 0:24:40it falls over and you fracture your wrist.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43So, in the vernacular of the metal working trades,
0:24:43 > 0:24:46this is what is known as scrap.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52We also have this, the so-called Friendship Bowl.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56This is the Queen of Hearts fruit platter
0:24:56 > 0:24:59and I'm sure you're getting the drift by now.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03The good news is all of those things are made from aluminium,
0:25:03 > 0:25:06so they can be sent for recycling - and then maybe one day
0:25:06 > 0:25:11they will reappear as the kettle or part of the engine of my car.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15But why actually bother your local authority with all that?
0:25:15 > 0:25:19With a bit of initiative, we can do the recycling job ourselves
0:25:19 > 0:25:24here in the Man Lab. Because the one thing we don't have is a decent,
0:25:24 > 0:25:28practical, useable lemon squeezer.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34What we're actually intending to do
0:25:34 > 0:25:38is to take the useless lemon squeezer and, as Omar Khayyam
0:25:38 > 0:25:42might have said, remould it closer to the heart's desire.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46And we're going to do that in the Man Lab foundry.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48A foundry being a place where metal is melted
0:25:48 > 0:25:51and then poured into moulds to create fascinating shapes.
0:25:54 > 0:25:58'Ever since our hairy-faced ancestors discovered
0:25:58 > 0:26:01'that some rocks contain metal,
0:26:01 > 0:26:04'metalworking has been central to the march of human progress.
0:26:04 > 0:26:08'In Britain, things came to a head in the Industrial Revolution,
0:26:08 > 0:26:11'when you couldn't move for blokes heating up or melting metal
0:26:11 > 0:26:15'and then bashing it into shape or pouring it into moulds.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18'Foundry work is the most mystical of metalworking.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22'If we can't master it, we are men of mere clay.
0:26:22 > 0:26:27'Our furnace will be made from bits and pieces lying around the Man Lab.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31'And we have help from our home foundry expert, Colin.'
0:26:31 > 0:26:34The first thing we do - tell me if I'm wrong - is make the furnace.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37The furnace, believe it or not, is this bucket.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42'We'll have to customise the bucket first.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46'It needs an air hole, or nozzle, called a tuyere.'
0:26:46 > 0:26:50Metal dustbin, piece of pipe, hole made,
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Jubilee Clip attached, keep it stiff.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55That is the tuyere -
0:26:55 > 0:26:59that is where the air will be blown in to make our furnace
0:26:59 > 0:27:04rage, like something from... I don't know, Dante or William Blake.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09'Next, we reinforce our bucket furnace with
0:27:09 > 0:27:11'what's known as a refractory lining,
0:27:11 > 0:27:13'to withstand extremely high temperatures.
0:27:13 > 0:27:18'We're using a mixture of clay, sand and a bit of sawdust.'
0:27:18 > 0:27:22Wahey! That's looking good. Look at that.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Put the lid on there...
0:27:24 > 0:27:27'All our furnace needs now is a lid with an exhaust hole.'
0:27:27 > 0:27:31Yeah! Lovely. What a job...
0:27:31 > 0:27:37'Then we pack the furnace with old newspaper and wood, and set fire to it.'
0:27:37 > 0:27:40Fire your blowtorch up the tuyere. Hmmm....
0:27:42 > 0:27:45Here we go...
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Try a little air in there.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52'The air will be provided by a familiar household appliance.'
0:27:52 > 0:27:55'Well, it's familiar if you're married to Colin.'
0:27:55 > 0:27:57That hairdryer is easily the most
0:27:57 > 0:27:59technically advanced piece of equipment...
0:27:59 > 0:28:03Do not show that on camera! if my wife sees that we are dead, I am dead.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05She doesn't know it's here.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07MUSIC: "Jupiter" from The Planets by Holst
0:28:07 > 0:28:09Oh, that's lovely. Wahey!
0:28:11 > 0:28:12That works!
0:28:19 > 0:28:23- That's brilliant, look at that. - That is seriously hot.
0:28:23 > 0:28:26That will become the white heat of technology.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29'Our scrap - the lemon squeezer and the silly bowls -
0:28:29 > 0:28:32'will melt faster if they're in small pieces.'
0:28:32 > 0:28:36'After some discussion, we decide to hit them with hammers.'
0:28:36 > 0:28:38MUSIC: Symphony No.9 by Beethoven
0:28:43 > 0:28:45I'd love a better lemon squeezer...
0:28:45 > 0:28:47Ohhh!
0:28:52 > 0:28:54I can now go and do something
0:28:54 > 0:28:59absolutely crucial to the foundry process, which is make the pattern.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01This way.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05'The pattern is a wooden version of our forthcoming lemon squeezer,
0:29:05 > 0:29:08'and will be used to form the cavity inside the mould.'
0:29:09 > 0:29:11It might seem a bit absurd that you have to make
0:29:11 > 0:29:14a model of your casting before you make your casting,
0:29:14 > 0:29:17because you're making a lemon squeezer in wood
0:29:17 > 0:29:19and then another one in aluminium.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22But with a well-made pattern, you can use it over and over again
0:29:22 > 0:29:24to make loads of lemon squeezers.
0:29:24 > 0:29:27'So, the pattern has to be spot on.
0:29:27 > 0:29:31'Any mistakes will be reproduced in the finished squeezer.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34'So here I am at the wood-turning lathe, in slight slow motion,
0:29:34 > 0:29:36'with misty-eyed music.'
0:29:36 > 0:29:39MUSIC: Piano Concerto No.2 by Rachmaninoff
0:29:52 > 0:29:58The knobby bit, sometimes known as the reamer, we're going to
0:29:58 > 0:30:02model it on the Phillips/Pozidriv screwdriver head, so that
0:30:02 > 0:30:07our lemon squeezer is a little testimony to our love of hand tools.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10'Once the screwdriver-inspired reamer is ready,
0:30:10 > 0:30:14'I attach it to the base, and then finish the lot with some blue paint
0:30:14 > 0:30:18'left over from my gran's bathroom, rubbing down for a perfect finish.'
0:30:18 > 0:30:20And there we are.
0:30:20 > 0:30:25As Sir Henry Royce, motor car and aero engine maker had inscribed over
0:30:25 > 0:30:30his fireplace: "Whatever is rightly done, however humble, is noble."
0:30:30 > 0:30:33And you can't get much more humble than that.
0:30:33 > 0:30:36Let's see if it's rightly done.
0:30:36 > 0:30:40Right. Here is our pattern from which we make the mould.
0:30:40 > 0:30:44The mould is made out of sand. It is a mixture of silver sand and clay.
0:30:45 > 0:30:49'To form the mould, this sand is carefully packed around the pattern
0:30:49 > 0:30:53'in the two-part moulding flask, as it is correctly called.'
0:30:53 > 0:30:54You mustn't move the pattern around,
0:30:54 > 0:30:57otherwise obviously it comes out the wrong shape.
0:30:57 > 0:31:00Then you'd have a sort of comedy lemon squeezer.
0:31:00 > 0:31:03'In the top half of the mould, or the cope, we form a hole,
0:31:03 > 0:31:07'or sprue, into which the molten metal will be poured, or tipped.'
0:31:07 > 0:31:09It's nice to have a use in life -
0:31:09 > 0:31:11even if it is only holding your sprue.
0:31:14 > 0:31:18'We are now at a crucial junction in the moulding process.'
0:31:18 > 0:31:20Do you want to do the technical part?
0:31:20 > 0:31:24- What, the separation?- That's got to be lifted dead straight.
0:31:24 > 0:31:28- I know.- Dead straight, otherwise we'll knock the sand.
0:31:28 > 0:31:30I'll move out the way - I'm not having any blame
0:31:30 > 0:31:32for it not coming out right.
0:31:32 > 0:31:37'If I cock this up, we'll have to start again.'
0:31:41 > 0:31:44How's it looking...? Oh, look at that!
0:31:47 > 0:31:49Be very quiet at home, please, for this moment,
0:31:49 > 0:31:53don't make any sudden movements or drop a glass or anything like that.
0:32:02 > 0:32:05Look at that! Perfection!
0:32:06 > 0:32:09Shall we just hang this on the wall rather than cast it?
0:32:09 > 0:32:11That's a work of art.
0:32:12 > 0:32:15'Now that the pattern has been safely removed,
0:32:15 > 0:32:18'the two halves of our flask are put back together,
0:32:18 > 0:32:22'with a lemon squeezer-shaped cavity inside, thirsty for some hot metal.'
0:32:22 > 0:32:25OK. We are ready for pouring.
0:32:31 > 0:32:35Here you can see our sacrificial offering to Vulcan,
0:32:35 > 0:32:38the god of fire and metalwork.
0:32:42 > 0:32:43Apply hairdryer...
0:32:48 > 0:32:50Scrub one poncey lemon squeezer,
0:32:50 > 0:32:55usher in the era of the unponcey lemon squeezer.
0:32:56 > 0:32:58'Once the charcoal-fired furnace has reached
0:32:58 > 0:33:03'something like 900 degrees, the aluminium becomes liquid.'
0:33:04 > 0:33:06Phwoar, look at that!
0:33:06 > 0:33:10'And so, like the horny-handed generations before us,
0:33:10 > 0:33:15'we must turn molten potential into cold, fruit-squeezing reality.
0:33:15 > 0:33:16'Time...for the pour.'
0:33:18 > 0:33:20Now, the excess, we pour...
0:33:23 > 0:33:24This is fantastic.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29Beautiful.
0:33:31 > 0:33:34- Right, cup of tea and knock out. - That sounds good to me.
0:33:34 > 0:33:36'One industrial cuppa later...'
0:33:36 > 0:33:40Are we ready? Because this is a moment of pure magic
0:33:40 > 0:33:42that we're going to see...
0:33:43 > 0:33:48This is looking good. Poker, give it a poker...
0:33:54 > 0:33:56HE LAUGHS
0:33:57 > 0:34:01Where's the tongs? We need to show this to the world.
0:34:03 > 0:34:08As I believe Goethe said - "Our passions are the true phoenixes.
0:34:08 > 0:34:12"When the old one is burnt out, a new one rises from its ashes."
0:34:12 > 0:34:17And if we could paraphrase that, we could say our lemon squeezer
0:34:17 > 0:34:19is the true phoenix -
0:34:19 > 0:34:21when the old one proves utterly useless,
0:34:21 > 0:34:24a new one rises from its aluminium. And there it is.
0:34:27 > 0:34:29'And just to prove the efficacy of the self-cast
0:34:29 > 0:34:32'Phillips screwdriver-headed squeezing solution,
0:34:32 > 0:34:35'we promptly knock up a few celebratory pancakes.'
0:34:35 > 0:34:38Here we go. Let's squeeze a lemon!
0:34:40 > 0:34:42It works!
0:34:46 > 0:34:48Look at that. Completely squeezed,
0:34:48 > 0:34:50couple of pips in it for authenticity.
0:34:50 > 0:34:52Lemon juice.
0:34:58 > 0:35:02- Nice lemon. - Yeah, well squeezed.- Mmm.- Mmm.
0:35:21 > 0:35:23"Anon" has written in.
0:35:23 > 0:35:26He says, "Sir, in your first and excellent series of Man Lab
0:35:26 > 0:35:29"you showed us how to cheat at playing the guitar
0:35:29 > 0:35:31"for the purposes of minstrelsy."
0:35:31 > 0:35:33# Fair, if you expect admiring
0:35:33 > 0:35:36# Dear, if you provoke desiring
0:35:36 > 0:35:40# Grace, dear love, with kind requiting... #
0:35:40 > 0:35:44"However, you did not really explain how to tune it.
0:35:44 > 0:35:47"Please could you do that, ere I die?"
0:35:47 > 0:35:49Well, look, it's really quite simple.
0:35:49 > 0:35:54- A guitar normally is tuned like this... - HE STRUMS ASCENDING NOTES
0:35:54 > 0:35:57..but that makes it very difficult to actually play the normal,
0:35:57 > 0:36:00regular chords you need for pop music.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02You need to be able to do... I think that's G major.
0:36:02 > 0:36:06You have to do very complicated, contorted things with your finger.
0:36:06 > 0:36:10So, for the purposes of just having a bit of a play along, it is easier
0:36:10 > 0:36:15if you tune a guitar like this, to what we call open fifths, so that
0:36:15 > 0:36:21you can play any basic chord simply by moving one finger along.
0:36:21 > 0:36:25OK? Now, here is how you do it.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28You take the bottom string of the guitar, that is
0:36:28 > 0:36:32the one furthest from the floor, the thickest one, the lowest note.
0:36:32 > 0:36:33Get that note in your head,
0:36:33 > 0:36:36and that is the beginning of a scale of eight notes.
0:36:36 > 0:36:38# Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do... #
0:36:38 > 0:36:44The only two notes you need now to tune the guitar are "do" and "so".
0:36:44 > 0:36:45HE PLAYS TWO NOTES
0:36:45 > 0:36:48That's neither of those, so I'm going to knock it down a bit.
0:36:48 > 0:36:50'And so, I set about tuning the strings
0:36:50 > 0:36:54'to only the notes "do" and "so", in the following order...'
0:36:54 > 0:36:57Do, so, do...
0:36:57 > 0:37:00That's another "do", that's another "so",
0:37:00 > 0:37:01and that's another "do".
0:37:01 > 0:37:06And then, by moving the one finger up and down the fretboard,
0:37:06 > 0:37:09you can play what sounds like a convincing chord.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11It isn't, it's very simplified -
0:37:11 > 0:37:14but if you're being a minstrel or just singing pop, it's good enough.
0:37:14 > 0:37:16So you can play the Man Lab theme...
0:37:16 > 0:37:20HE SINGS THE THEME TUNE
0:37:20 > 0:37:23..and you can play Nirvana.
0:37:23 > 0:37:26HE PLAYS "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
0:37:26 > 0:37:30There you go, there's Nirvana with open fifth string tuning.
0:37:30 > 0:37:33'That works well when I'm throwing a Renaissance banquet,
0:37:33 > 0:37:36'but what if you've never played the guitar?
0:37:36 > 0:37:37'We hit the streets
0:37:37 > 0:37:40'and asked some volunteers to play Smells Like Teen Spirit.'
0:37:41 > 0:37:44# With the lights out
0:37:44 > 0:37:45# It's less dangerous
0:37:45 > 0:37:48# Here we are now
0:37:48 > 0:37:49# Entertain us... #
0:37:49 > 0:37:52'We've pre-tuned the guitar to open fifths,
0:37:52 > 0:37:56'so all they have to do is slide a finger on the fretboard and strum.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59'This is what made Britain Pop Central.'
0:37:59 > 0:38:02HE STRUMS THE TUNE
0:38:04 > 0:38:08Just have a nice, easy intro into it... Actually really pleasing.
0:38:13 > 0:38:17Yeah, it's quite surprising. Felt quite good, actually.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26'I'd call this a success.
0:38:26 > 0:38:31'Using this method, only an idiot could fail to play the guitar.'
0:38:31 > 0:38:34HE PLUCKS HALTINGLY
0:38:41 > 0:38:45'Earlier, we said goodbye to the remains of Tommy the cat
0:38:45 > 0:38:47'and Budgie Number 35 the budgie,
0:38:47 > 0:38:50'whose owners had made the ill-advised decision
0:38:50 > 0:38:52of asking us to take care of the funeral.
0:38:52 > 0:38:56'So, we sent their ashes to heaven, inside balloons.'
0:38:56 > 0:38:58MUSIC: "Space Oddity" by David Bowie
0:38:58 > 0:39:01'And it worked, better than we imagined.
0:39:01 > 0:39:04'The balloons shot up like rockets, carrying the cat
0:39:04 > 0:39:06'and the budgie far above the Earth.
0:39:08 > 0:39:14'Beyond the clouds and into the stratosphere, until, finally...
0:39:25 > 0:39:29The final frontier. At least for a cremated cat and budgie.
0:39:29 > 0:39:33Their mission was to go higher than any British household pet
0:39:33 > 0:39:38had been before and then be scattered to the four winds.
0:39:38 > 0:39:41STAR TREK THEME MUSIC PLAYS
0:39:41 > 0:39:43Meanwhile, back on Earth...
0:39:43 > 0:39:47It's still going up, which means it hasn't burst yet.
0:39:47 > 0:39:49Our two races are still on -
0:39:49 > 0:39:51the first to see whose balloon will go higher.
0:39:51 > 0:39:55My own Team Helium, with Tommy the cat, or Dr Ben's Team Hydrogen.
0:39:55 > 0:39:59The second race is to see who can recover their cameras first
0:39:59 > 0:40:01when they fall back to Earth.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03We're speeding towards the recovery point
0:40:03 > 0:40:06and hoping very much that by the time the balloons go pop
0:40:06 > 0:40:10we will both have won the height race and won the recovery.
0:40:15 > 0:40:18But back at the edge of heaven, away from our earthly concerns,
0:40:18 > 0:40:20racing seems irrelevant.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56Budgie Number 35, our representative of budgies everywhere,
0:40:56 > 0:41:01is now 30,111 metres above the Earth.
0:41:01 > 0:41:06That's 123 times higher than Canary Wharf,
0:41:06 > 0:41:08the previous highest-recorded bird.
0:41:09 > 0:41:15Tommy the cat isn't far below, at 28,917 metres.
0:41:16 > 0:41:18But then...
0:41:22 > 0:41:24BALLOON BURSTS
0:41:29 > 0:41:32The air pressure outside Tommy's balloon is finally
0:41:32 > 0:41:35too low for the helium inside it and it bursts,
0:41:35 > 0:41:38beginning its long fall back to Earth.
0:41:41 > 0:41:45In slow motion, you can actually see the ash being released
0:41:45 > 0:41:48and the final remains of Tommy the cat floating away.
0:41:48 > 0:41:53ETHEREAL CHORAL MUSIC PLAYS
0:42:06 > 0:42:09Oh! We've got a burst, definitely.
0:42:09 > 0:42:1228,900. So we're definitely on the way down.
0:42:12 > 0:42:16We've got a burst 28,249.
0:42:16 > 0:42:1892,500 feet.
0:42:21 > 0:42:25Let's just dwell on that and think about the remains of poor Tommy.
0:42:25 > 0:42:30ETHEREAL CHORAL MUSIC PLAYS
0:42:36 > 0:42:40They've just been quite literally spread to the four winds.
0:42:42 > 0:42:45Tommy's camera gondola is plummeting back towards Earth,
0:42:45 > 0:42:50but Budgie Number 35, the budgie, is still flying high.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53Team Hydrogen and Budgie have won the altitude race and at
0:42:53 > 0:43:01a final height of 30,352 metres, it erupts into a shower of glory.
0:43:01 > 0:43:05CHARIOTS OF FIRE THEME MUSIC PLAYS
0:43:28 > 0:43:32Budgie has won the altitude competition,
0:43:32 > 0:43:36so Hydrogen has won altitude, Budgie has won altitude.
0:43:36 > 0:43:37Dr Ben is going to be unbearable.
0:43:39 > 0:43:42We won! So both balloons have now burst, but we burst higher.
0:43:43 > 0:43:44Losers!
0:43:44 > 0:43:47CHARIOTS OF FIRE THEME MUSIC PLAYS
0:44:00 > 0:44:04I'm over the moon! This is one for the birds.
0:44:04 > 0:44:07The cats have always been their mortal enemy
0:44:07 > 0:44:09and here they've won without doubt.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12It's coming down like a... Well...
0:44:12 > 0:44:15- Like a lead balloon. - I was going to say that.
0:44:15 > 0:44:17At the start of their plummet,
0:44:17 > 0:44:21the atmosphere is about 100th that of ground level and this lack of
0:44:21 > 0:44:26air resistance allows the payloads to reach speeds in excess of 200mph.
0:44:28 > 0:44:32Meanwhile, far below, we're now into race two - camera recovery.
0:44:32 > 0:44:34All we need back from the operation now
0:44:34 > 0:44:37is the data cards with the pictures on.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39The little cameras don't have film in them,
0:44:39 > 0:44:42they have flash cards, effectively.
0:44:42 > 0:44:44And if we can find those, we're in business.
0:44:44 > 0:44:48We're sort of prepared to lose the cameras.
0:44:48 > 0:44:50If they land in water, they will float
0:44:50 > 0:44:53because the budgie's head and the cat are buoyant.
0:44:53 > 0:44:55The cameras would be ruined
0:44:55 > 0:44:58but we could retrieve the cards and probably rescue the information.
0:44:58 > 0:45:02As the payloads start to near the cloud layer,
0:45:02 > 0:45:04the air resistance picks up and the parachutes
0:45:04 > 0:45:07we remembered to attach start to take effect.
0:45:11 > 0:45:14Unfortunately, it is, as ever, not quite that simple.
0:45:16 > 0:45:19Unbeknownst to us, Tommy's trajectory has him
0:45:19 > 0:45:22landing square in a line of electricity pylons...
0:45:23 > 0:45:25..while Budgie is on course to make an emergency
0:45:25 > 0:45:28ditching in a sewage treatment works.
0:45:36 > 0:45:37Oooh, pylons.
0:45:47 > 0:45:49It hits.
0:45:53 > 0:45:55And falls.
0:45:57 > 0:46:01A few miles away, Budgie Number 35 isn't far behind
0:46:01 > 0:46:04and worryingly close to ending up in the sewage
0:46:07 > 0:46:09But at the last minute, a gust of wind sends it
0:46:09 > 0:46:14sailing out of danger and into the welcoming arms of a nearby field.
0:46:22 > 0:46:24The budgie has landed.
0:46:29 > 0:46:3240 yards. We're there.
0:46:32 > 0:46:36- 20... It should be right here. - There!
0:46:36 > 0:46:40Dr Ben is the first to reach his landing site,
0:46:40 > 0:46:43but the combination of the cornfields and the close range
0:46:43 > 0:46:48of the GPS is making a polystyrene budgie's head rather tricky to spot.
0:46:48 > 0:46:50It's that way.
0:46:51 > 0:46:54Here it comes. We are getting close.
0:46:54 > 0:46:58And over in our cornfield, we're having similar problems.
0:46:58 > 0:47:00Could be either side of the road.
0:47:04 > 0:47:06We are now 75 kilometres from our launch site,
0:47:06 > 0:47:09but a tantalising 50 metres from our gondola.
0:47:11 > 0:47:15Just there, yeah? You can just about see it. Just sticking up.
0:47:16 > 0:47:19- Looks like we've found it. - Parachute.
0:47:21 > 0:47:23What's on the end of the string? Do you want to reel it in?
0:47:24 > 0:47:27I can't see it. I think it's here, I think it's here.
0:47:27 > 0:47:29That was very close. Look at that!
0:47:29 > 0:47:33You can see the pylon that we must've missed by feet.
0:47:33 > 0:47:37- Can you smell? It's a sewage works. - We're lucky it didn't land in that.
0:47:37 > 0:47:39A few hundred yards further and we would've been swimming.
0:47:39 > 0:47:43Our aerospace string is stuck.
0:47:43 > 0:47:45We fall over.
0:47:45 > 0:47:49- Waaah!- Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it there. Can you see it?
0:47:54 > 0:47:57Hey! Here's our budgie! Complete!
0:47:57 > 0:48:02- Ha! Ha! Look at that! - Let's get that right.
0:48:02 > 0:48:05Happy camera? Still on?
0:48:05 > 0:48:07Happy camera still on?
0:48:07 > 0:48:11- Say hello to the camera!- Fantastic! Look at that! It's perfect.
0:48:11 > 0:48:14- Wow!- Amazing!
0:48:17 > 0:48:20- Nice job! Success!- Fantastic.
0:48:23 > 0:48:26Thank you. Oh, there it is!
0:48:29 > 0:48:30Hey-hey!
0:48:30 > 0:48:32Superb.
0:48:32 > 0:48:37Cameras look intact. Picture is intact.
0:48:39 > 0:48:42- Where's that been 85,000 feet? - 85,000 feet, yep.
0:48:42 > 0:48:45That is pretty spectacular, isn't it?
0:48:45 > 0:48:47Twice as high as Concorde used to fly.
0:48:49 > 0:48:52Well done, Tommy.
0:48:52 > 0:48:55# ..law man beating up the wrong guy... #
0:48:55 > 0:48:59So team helium lost both races, but what of it?
0:48:59 > 0:49:03The Manlab pet cemetery on the edge of space seems to me
0:49:03 > 0:49:06to have been a resounding success.
0:49:06 > 0:49:10Most pet ashes are scattered in a corner of the garden.
0:49:10 > 0:49:13But in death, Tommy and Budgie have reached heights unknown to
0:49:13 > 0:49:17any British animal before them. We salute them. Pioneers both.
0:49:41 > 0:49:45If your beloved pet has recently shuffled off this mortal coil
0:49:45 > 0:49:48and you'd like it to perform one last duty clogging up
0:49:48 > 0:49:56the engines of a budget flight to Malaga, do please get in touch:
0:49:56 > 0:49:58No goldfish, please.
0:50:03 > 0:50:06Earlier, I declared war on male fashion.
0:50:06 > 0:50:11I want to make the boiler suit a sort of default choice.
0:50:11 > 0:50:15My mantra, "One man, one customised boiler suit."
0:50:15 > 0:50:17Sandwich pocket? This man's got antlers.
0:50:17 > 0:50:20A poo-flap on a boiler suit?
0:50:20 > 0:50:23I've convinced a renegade group of fashion students to help me
0:50:23 > 0:50:26but now we face out biggest challenge -
0:50:26 > 0:50:31presenting our vision on the enemy's home turf, the catwalk.
0:50:31 > 0:50:34Welcome to Graduate Fashion Week.
0:50:34 > 0:50:37It's the highlight of the fashion student's year.
0:50:37 > 0:50:40The place is absolutely teeming with bright, creative,
0:50:40 > 0:50:43optimistic young people hoping to make an impact in
0:50:43 > 0:50:47this gay mad world we call the fashion business.
0:50:47 > 0:50:50And really I'm here hoping to put an end to fashion, really,
0:50:50 > 0:50:53to stop the tyranny of trends
0:50:53 > 0:50:58and reduce the male wardrobe to a single, one-piece overall.
0:50:58 > 0:51:00It may not be a very popular idea.
0:51:01 > 0:51:06Graduate Fashion Week is the beating heart of the country's fashionistas.
0:51:06 > 0:51:09The place is jam-packed with designers, photographers
0:51:09 > 0:51:12and, most importantly, the money men - buyers.
0:51:12 > 0:51:16A well-placed boiler-suit uprising here could start
0:51:16 > 0:51:19a chain-reaction and bring the fashion empire to its knees.
0:51:19 > 0:51:22I decide to go on a reconnaissance mission.
0:51:22 > 0:51:24What will their attitude be to a bloke who is
0:51:24 > 0:51:27sort of taking an anti-fashion stance?
0:51:27 > 0:51:31There's always been a history of anti-fashion throughout fashion.
0:51:31 > 0:51:34It depends on how it looks and what it looks like.
0:51:34 > 0:51:39If you get halfway and people are literally jeering
0:51:39 > 0:51:41and throwing things, is it acceptable to retreat?
0:51:41 > 0:51:44Is it like the front line in 1916, you have to keep going?
0:51:44 > 0:51:45You have to keep going.
0:51:45 > 0:51:48It's clear then. This is do or die.
0:51:48 > 0:51:51Once the first boiler suit battalion breaks cover
0:51:51 > 0:51:54and hits that catwalk, there's no coming back.
0:51:54 > 0:51:55What we need are top models,
0:51:55 > 0:51:59precision-trained to show off our designs.
0:51:59 > 0:52:02What we have are me, Will the producer
0:52:02 > 0:52:04and a bunch of blokes we grabbed from the pub next door.
0:52:04 > 0:52:06Face the audience, darling.
0:52:06 > 0:52:10The audience is out there, yeah. And turn right.
0:52:10 > 0:52:12No, I'll tell you when to go. Do not pre-empt.
0:52:12 > 0:52:16Not since the first pre-historic homo-erectus tottered up onto
0:52:16 > 0:52:21its hind legs has a group of men had such difficulty in simply walking.
0:52:21 > 0:52:23So can you pose on the way up, did you say?
0:52:23 > 0:52:26You sort of come straight out, just go "one-two"
0:52:26 > 0:52:27and then walk down the middle.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30- Shall I try that? - Yes. Go on.
0:52:30 > 0:52:32So that's er... The flats are the back bits?
0:52:32 > 0:52:35Yeah. You're going round here and when I've said go,
0:52:35 > 0:52:38you come to the front. "One-two", off you go.
0:52:38 > 0:52:39And go.
0:52:39 > 0:52:43Will and I glide up the catwalk like consummate professionals.
0:52:47 > 0:52:50OK. So stop here. And then we sort of go...
0:52:54 > 0:52:56Massive applause.
0:52:56 > 0:52:59At this point I'm imagining the audience faces as they gaze
0:52:59 > 0:53:03speechlessly at my detachable smart casual accessories.
0:53:03 > 0:53:06And then we do a pose about here.
0:53:09 > 0:53:11I'm sure like you until now, thought that the catwalk was
0:53:11 > 0:53:14just a matter of mincing in one direction and then mincing back
0:53:14 > 0:53:16but it's more complicated than that.
0:53:16 > 0:53:21This is like the invasion of Normandy. But in silly outfits.
0:53:21 > 0:53:23It's quite difficult.
0:53:23 > 0:53:27This is it, then, on the battlefield our colours are unfurled.
0:53:27 > 0:53:31Backstage, our plucky troupe of amateur models are dressed
0:53:31 > 0:53:35into their personalised boiler suits by the young designers.
0:53:35 > 0:53:37This is an uprising.
0:53:37 > 0:53:40Even Adam has his finest antlers on for the occasion.
0:53:40 > 0:53:43Ahh! I'm so excited!
0:53:43 > 0:53:48While the students tie up any loose ends, I get into my own boiler suit.
0:53:48 > 0:53:51No, don't worry, it's not this one.
0:53:51 > 0:53:53I can't reveal my whole outfit to you yet
0:53:53 > 0:53:55because that would spoil the surprise
0:53:55 > 0:53:58but I think the reaction out there will be either amazement
0:53:58 > 0:54:01or utter bewilderment.
0:54:01 > 0:54:03Could go either way. Let's see.
0:54:03 > 0:54:05Pioneering stuff.
0:54:12 > 0:54:15OK, chaps. Over the top we go.
0:54:15 > 0:54:18Maybe that poo-flap wasn't such a bad idea.
0:54:19 > 0:54:23TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS
0:54:35 > 0:54:38Presenting the May Boiler. Designer, me.
0:54:38 > 0:54:42Perfect for everyday activities like fixing motorcycles,
0:54:42 > 0:54:45going to the pub or trying not to laugh at the camera.
0:54:51 > 0:54:54The May Boiler also comes with multiple accessories
0:54:54 > 0:54:56for formal wear.
0:54:56 > 0:54:58But before I get into those
0:54:58 > 0:55:02the student designs are going to take the front line.
0:55:02 > 0:55:03First up, the Biker Boiler.
0:55:03 > 0:55:06Designed for the gentleman who likes racing round the track,
0:55:06 > 0:55:09and hammering in invisible nails.
0:55:09 > 0:55:11Or, why not try the Barbecue Boiler?
0:55:11 > 0:55:14With useful tongs-pocket, and party atmosphere trim.
0:55:14 > 0:55:17The Hammer-To-Glamour Boiler, for a day fixing the roof,
0:55:17 > 0:55:19and a night at the opera.
0:55:19 > 0:55:22So far, our fashion revolution is going quite well.
0:55:22 > 0:55:26Our troops seem to be winning over the crowd with the versatility
0:55:26 > 0:55:29of the humble boiler suit, offering a look for all lifestyles.
0:55:29 > 0:55:33Even one or two of the buyers have sat up to take notice.
0:55:34 > 0:55:37It's only when the audience are hit with designer Iona's
0:55:37 > 0:55:41boiler suit that things start to come a little unstuck.
0:55:41 > 0:55:45I think this is for people who spend a lot of time in the rain
0:55:45 > 0:55:46but don't mind wet knees.
0:55:46 > 0:55:49APPLAUSE
0:55:49 > 0:55:52It's up to Adam to save the day with his multi-flap design that
0:55:52 > 0:55:54I was such a fan of earlier.
0:55:54 > 0:55:56Unfortunately, this being Adam,
0:55:56 > 0:55:59he's stuck a pair of antlers on the back of it.
0:55:59 > 0:56:01HE LAUGHS
0:56:01 > 0:56:02APPLAUSE
0:56:02 > 0:56:04Go, go , go!
0:56:04 > 0:56:07To close the show, we return to show off producer Will's suit
0:56:07 > 0:56:10with formal black tie attachments.
0:56:10 > 0:56:13Ideal for all those endless BAFTA awards evenings.
0:56:15 > 0:56:18The beauty of these attachments is that they can be removed
0:56:18 > 0:56:21in the flick of the wrist once you've been beaten by MasterChef.
0:56:23 > 0:56:27Thus leaving you ready to continue plumbing, painting or whatever.
0:56:27 > 0:56:28CHEERING
0:56:28 > 0:56:30The crowd is on our side.
0:56:30 > 0:56:33We may yet stand victorious, boiler-suited and proud,
0:56:33 > 0:56:36telling Gaultier to go to hell.
0:56:36 > 0:56:40APPLAUSE
0:56:42 > 0:56:43The ordeal is over.
0:56:43 > 0:56:48Our student designers take the stage to enthusiastic applause.
0:56:48 > 0:56:50APPLAUSE
0:56:50 > 0:56:52Thank you very much.
0:56:52 > 0:56:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:56:55 > 0:56:58The question is, have we succeeded in releasing men
0:56:58 > 0:57:00from the yoke of fashion?
0:57:09 > 0:57:12Who knows? That could've been a pivotal moment in fashion.
0:57:12 > 0:57:15It could've been like the first time a woman was seen out without
0:57:15 > 0:57:18a hat or the very first time a man discarded his hose
0:57:18 > 0:57:20and put on a pair of trousers.
0:57:20 > 0:57:22It could be that significant.
0:57:22 > 0:57:26But it all comes down to what the buyers think. Let's find out.
0:57:28 > 0:57:31I thought it was really good. I was surprised.
0:57:31 > 0:57:33I think you could really see all the work that
0:57:33 > 0:57:37had gone into all the garments. I thought it looked pretty sharp.
0:57:37 > 0:57:40Just as things were looking positive...
0:57:40 > 0:57:45It was entertaining. A lot of work had gone into it.
0:57:45 > 0:57:50Was it commercial for our mass market retailer? I'm not sure it was.
0:57:50 > 0:57:52Some of them were quite out there,
0:57:52 > 0:57:54particularly the ones with the antlers down the back.
0:57:54 > 0:57:57I'm not sure how appropriate that would be to be commercial.
0:57:58 > 0:58:02Three months later, in the accounts department of Emporia Manlab,
0:58:02 > 0:58:04sales were recorded as nil.
0:58:04 > 0:58:08And so, with a heavy heart, and an expertly-cut
0:58:08 > 0:58:11multi-tasking flag of surrender, I accepted defeat.
0:58:11 > 0:58:16I am, I admit, bitterly disappointed.
0:58:16 > 0:58:19It does seem that, whatever you do with the boiler suit, it is
0:58:19 > 0:58:23destined just to be worn where quite dirty manual work is being done.
0:58:23 > 0:58:27And I thought this was a good idea. I really did.
0:58:27 > 0:58:29What is the problem with it?
0:58:29 > 0:58:33It's not as if I'm asking blokes to wear a skirt or anything.
0:58:33 > 0:58:34Goodbye.
0:58:34 > 0:58:38BAGPIPES PLAY
0:58:38 > 0:58:41Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:58:41 > 0:58:44E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk