0:00:02 > 0:00:05Hello and welcome to Man Lab, a Transit van of radical thought
0:00:05 > 0:00:09careering out of control down the high street of convention.
0:00:27 > 0:00:31'Bursting from today's man bag of ambition...' Dig for gold!
0:00:31 > 0:00:36'We pillage the south coast in search of buried treasure.' 2008.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38It's remarkable. All those years!
0:00:38 > 0:00:42'Turn our Man Lab railway into a physical junk mail filter.'
0:00:42 > 0:00:45Lower the arm.
0:00:45 > 0:00:46Beautiful. this.
0:00:46 > 0:00:50'And challenge the establishment with Man Lab Pirate FM.'
0:00:50 > 0:00:55To have sold 25,000 copies of a book just about soldering is a remarkable achievement.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Thank you.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59WHISTLE
0:00:59 > 0:01:04Now... this is St Anthony of Padua.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12And he is the patron saint of things that have gone missing.
0:01:12 > 0:01:16And Catholics and other people who believe in the intercession of dead monks,
0:01:16 > 0:01:21have a little poem that they say to him if they can't find the car keys, for example.
0:01:21 > 0:01:27It goes "Tony, Tony, turn around, something's lost and can't be found".
0:01:27 > 0:01:29But what if something's really missing?
0:01:32 > 0:01:37This is Sandbanks, a small peninsula of paradise on the south coast of Poole Harbour.
0:01:37 > 0:01:43It's one of England's cleanest beaches and boasts the fourth highest land value in the world,
0:01:43 > 0:01:46with houses going in excess of £10 million.
0:01:46 > 0:01:51But amongst all the sunbathers, bad shorts and bloody expensive property,
0:01:51 > 0:01:54there is a sad figure wandering along the beach,
0:01:54 > 0:01:59lost in memories that even a mint choc-chip Feast cannot erase.
0:02:01 > 0:02:07I was sitting somewhere around here making a dimensionally accurate sand model of the Kremlin
0:02:07 > 0:02:10when I heard his baleful cry go up.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14That man is in fact my dad, James May Senior,
0:02:14 > 0:02:19and I remember the moment as if it were 1973... which it was.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21MUSIC: "It Was A Very Good Year" by Frank Sinatra
0:02:21 > 0:02:25The Mays took a May bank holiday holiday to Sandbanks most years,
0:02:25 > 0:02:29but on this one my dad lost his wedding ring.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34- I mean, I was only ten.- Yes. - I remember the incident very well,
0:02:34 > 0:02:39but I can't quite work out what you did. You said you shook your hands.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41- Yes, that's as I recall it. - And you felt it?
0:02:41 > 0:02:44We'd been scrummaging around doing something,
0:02:44 > 0:02:48probably making a castle with a moat round it, or something like that,
0:02:48 > 0:02:52I had sand stuck on my hands and I went like that.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56- Don't do it again!- Well, that's not going to come off in a hurry.
0:02:56 > 0:02:57- And I felt it go.- Right.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01Didn't see it, didn't see where it went but felt it go.
0:03:01 > 0:03:06I was a bit too young to appreciate the significance of losing your wedding ring,
0:03:06 > 0:03:08but how did Mum take it?
0:03:08 > 0:03:12She ran back to the bungalow, which was maybe half a mile away,
0:03:12 > 0:03:19- and came back with the deep fat fryer basket, like a deep sieve with a handle.- Yes!
0:03:19 > 0:03:23- And we could sieve tons of sand through that.- I'd completely forgotten that bit. Yes.
0:03:23 > 0:03:28- And...- The fryer basket thing. - She came back with this and we still didn't find it.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30It is exactly like when you're in the garage and you drop a screw,
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- you've got to find it straight away. - Otherwise...
0:03:33 > 0:03:35But it is there, it will be there somewhere.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38And that must have been there somewhere but not where you were looking.
0:03:38 > 0:03:43Absolutely true. That's got to be the only truth, we looked where it wasn't.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46As a mere boy, I could only watch helplessly as my parents
0:03:46 > 0:03:50tried to pass most of Dorset through a chip pan.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Now, as a man, I return better equipped.
0:03:55 > 0:04:00If we're to stand any chance whatsoever of restoring that ring to its rightful finger,
0:04:00 > 0:04:05we're going to have to employ ruthless logic, technology, manpower,
0:04:05 > 0:04:08some fatuously appropriate music,
0:04:08 > 0:04:13and even a little bit of what Professor Brian Cox would call New Age woo-woo.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15But let's start with this man.
0:04:15 > 0:04:20This is Vincent May, he's no relation, he is a geomorphologist.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24- That's right.- Geomorphologists study how land masses change over time
0:04:24 > 0:04:27and Vincent specialises in this coastal area.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31So if this is a fool's errand, he's the man to say so... now.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35Let's say for argument's sake, I mean Dad and I aren't clear on this,
0:04:35 > 0:04:38but let's say he was down here, quite near the water,
0:04:38 > 0:04:43let's say the ring fell there 40 years ago.
0:04:43 > 0:04:44How far could it have moved?
0:04:44 > 0:04:50It might have moved, if it was on the surface, something like 450 feet in a year. Along the surface.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52- A year?- Yes.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55- But it was 40 years ago.- Yeah. - So that's miles?- Yes.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59But it could equally have just got buried,
0:04:59 > 0:05:01and that's what's happening here at the moment.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05If you, if you watch the pebbles down here, you can see that as the wave is washing in,
0:05:05 > 0:05:11you can see sand in suspension. And if we watch this wave here, it's pushing material up the beach.
0:05:11 > 0:05:16If the ring were sitting down there, it could get dragged down,
0:05:16 > 0:05:19but it could equally very quickly get buried.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23- In some ways I'm encouraged by that, because...- Yes.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26..it could be pretty much where it fell,
0:05:26 > 0:05:29wherever that is, we don't know. It could be there.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31But it could be, what, 20 feet down, ten feet down?
0:05:31 > 0:05:34No, ten feet. Or less than that, probably four, five feet.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40- So as long as we can detect it, and...dig, we could...?- Yes. Yeah.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43So, to recap.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46The ring is either just a few feet below the sand right here,
0:05:46 > 0:05:48or it's in Swanage.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51But one thing gives me hope.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54In the '70s this section of beach was protected by groynes,
0:05:54 > 0:05:59long stone structures built to stop the sand setting off on a holiday of its own.
0:06:00 > 0:06:05But even if the ring is still here, it's going to take a mammoth crew to find it.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07- Morning. - ALL: Morning.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10So I've gathered every metal detectorist, archaeologist,
0:06:10 > 0:06:13scuba diver and treasure hunter in the area.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Come in. Man with a spade.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Right, it's a very simple exercise.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21We're looking for a gold ring lost in 1973.
0:06:21 > 0:06:27I have here a picture of the beach as it was in 1973 when we were here.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29And it's substantially different.
0:06:29 > 0:06:34I know that we came down the path and settled roughly here,
0:06:34 > 0:06:38which means on the modern picture we're looking at an area
0:06:38 > 0:06:40basically between the new groynes, if you see what I mean.
0:06:40 > 0:06:46'The ring is just a standard gold band but should be positively identifiable.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50'It will have the same assay marks, stamps used to show gold purity, maker and so on,
0:06:50 > 0:06:55'as my mum's ring which I've been able to check, because Mum didn't lose hers.'
0:06:55 > 0:06:58- Anything else? Happy? - ALL: Yeah.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00- Dig for gold! - ALL LAUGH
0:07:00 > 0:07:05The science of finding the misplaced has been appropriately dubbed findology.
0:07:05 > 0:07:11In his book How To Find Lost Objects, professional findologist Professor Solomon writes,
0:07:11 > 0:07:16"There are no missing objects, only unsystematic searches".
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Our search today will be the most thorough organised hunt
0:07:19 > 0:07:23that St Anthony and all his dead monk friends will ever have seen.
0:07:23 > 0:07:29We've split the beach up using a grid system and assigned different teams to each grid square.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33This way we can methodically cross off each section of beach as we go
0:07:33 > 0:07:36and leave no stone unturned, no sand unsifted.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39- Off you go. - OK.
0:07:41 > 0:07:46Our detector army will take to the beach, scuba divers will scour the ocean bed.
0:07:46 > 0:07:51Thanks to a camera on a toy helicopter, even the skies will aid us in our search.
0:07:51 > 0:07:56We have solid methods and men in rock-hard sunglasses.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59Ring and finger are as good as reunited.
0:08:00 > 0:08:05This gives us a helicopter eye view of the whole ring recovery exercise,
0:08:05 > 0:08:07so we can see if anything's been missed.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11This bit of the beach doesn't seem very big, but when you start looking at it close up,
0:08:11 > 0:08:13you realise actually it's a huge area.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16It's like a massive garden.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20Tutankhamen's Tomb, The Dead Sea Scrolls, The Rosetta Stone,
0:08:20 > 0:08:24all of them will seem like things found in a kitchen drawer
0:08:24 > 0:08:28compared with the rediscovery of May Senior's 9-carat ring.
0:08:28 > 0:08:33We will stop at nothing to find it. Not even at using Rory.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36- Pants on. - Never wear pants.- No, pants on!
0:08:36 > 0:08:39- No, no, pants off, I think she's saying.- It's a rule.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43- No, pants on. - Well, they'll just get wet.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45- Swimming trunks, Rory. - Have you got spare pants?
0:08:45 > 0:08:47No, it goes over the top of it, so I won't get wet.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49It's a wetsuit, you berk!
0:08:49 > 0:08:54You look like an action doll you get free with breakfast cereal or something.
0:08:54 > 0:08:59So armed with an underwater metal detector and a head-mounted aquatic camera,
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Rory heads off for his very first scuba dive,
0:09:02 > 0:09:05charged with the simplest task we can possibly find for him,
0:09:05 > 0:09:07sinking in water.
0:09:16 > 0:09:17Rory?!
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Sadly, the dive instructor has failed to allow
0:09:22 > 0:09:25for the immense buoyancy of his student's hollow head.
0:09:25 > 0:09:30Still, if he does submerge, the seabed will be a fertile hunting ground.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33Back on dry land and about an hour into our search,
0:09:33 > 0:09:36we've worked our way through about 10% of our grid area
0:09:36 > 0:09:40and our detectorists have our first promising signal.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44- Have you found something? - I've got a good signal and I've looked around here.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47It shouldn't be a cable, so hopefully it's something.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56BEEPING
0:09:56 > 0:10:01- The hand probe, is that just...? - It's just easier to get into the hole once you've dug the hole.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- So it's the same technology, it's just a little bit more localised? - Yeah.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07For those of you who can afford to buy your own valuables,
0:10:07 > 0:10:13a metal detector works by pulsing an electromagnetic field into the ground from its transmitter coil.
0:10:13 > 0:10:18Any metallic object the field hits generates a weak magnetic field of its own,
0:10:18 > 0:10:21which is then picked up by the receiver coil.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26The weaker the return field is, the deeper the object is buried.
0:10:26 > 0:10:31Some detectors can even give you a rough idea of what the object might be.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35I just saw something then.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37- Ah-ha!- There we go.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42- It's a pound, isn't it? - Yeah, it's a one-pound coin.
0:10:42 > 0:10:432008.
0:10:45 > 0:10:50- It's remarkable, all those years! - MAN LAUGHS
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Well, it's a pound. Technically, that's yours.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56- It is. Thank you very much. - And as we worked our way through the grid,
0:10:56 > 0:11:00that was just the start of a hoard that Time Team could only dream of.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02It is... 20 pence!
0:11:04 > 0:11:05A 5p piece.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Another five pence.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13- It's an old barbecue. - Scruffy sods!
0:11:13 > 0:11:15- Yeah. - It's just a button!
0:11:16 > 0:11:19- It's silver paper.- Just a Coke can.
0:11:19 > 0:11:24Argh! Look at the depth! Just a barbecue.
0:11:24 > 0:11:28It might be just a copper stud or something like that off a pair of jeans.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31I wish people would throw stuff in the bin.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34The most interesting thing we find is the chamber from an old pistol,
0:11:34 > 0:11:40presumably used by the spouse of a metal-detector enthusiast on his or herself.
0:11:40 > 0:11:46But apart from that, it's a Tutankhamen's trash can of ancient beach bum's litter.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49I don't think it's a very good match, do you, fellas?
0:11:49 > 0:11:51It's not very good at all.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55Well, nevertheless, it's interesting. We can look at this and say "What does it mean?"
0:11:55 > 0:11:58"What does it mean?" It means someone didn't put their rubbish in the bin, really.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00- That's about it, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:12:00 > 0:12:05We're now six hours into our search and our booty of bottle tops and barbecues
0:12:05 > 0:12:08has crossed off over 70% of our search area.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10But I refuse to be disheartened.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14After all, buried treasure is found in the UK all the time
0:12:14 > 0:12:16and mostly by metal detectorists.
0:12:16 > 0:12:23From Dave Crisp in 2010, who found a hoard of 52,000 Roman coins,
0:12:23 > 0:12:29to divers right here in Sandbanks finding a 17th century wreck with stunning baroque carvings.
0:12:29 > 0:12:36And talking of maritime disasters, Rory has managed to sink and is now homing in on a promising signal.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08It's another bum's beer can.
0:13:08 > 0:13:14But as Rory rises like Aphrodite, I notice something more worrying.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15Rory?
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Rory,... where's your camera gone?
0:13:23 > 0:13:31- Lost it.- You've lost it? - We're going to try and find it.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34- You've lost the camera? - It's... fell off his head!
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Did you find anything?
0:13:38 > 0:13:39It's a Stella can.
0:13:39 > 0:13:45Is that it?! And you've lost Rory's camera?
0:13:45 > 0:13:48I'm now prepared to accept that we won't find the ring,
0:13:48 > 0:13:51but it would be nice to go home with the kit that we came with,
0:13:51 > 0:13:53otherwise we've merely contributed to the world's losses.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56- Yes, exactly! - Which is not really the object.
0:13:56 > 0:14:01So, with one of our £200 underwater cameras now underwater for eternity,
0:14:01 > 0:14:03we've become the first archaeological dig in history
0:14:03 > 0:14:06to leave behind more treasure than we've discovered.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09But just as I'm considering packing all this in,
0:14:09 > 0:14:12there's exciting news over at the detector grid.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15- So, you think you might have found something?- Half-decent signal.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17It's either a ring pull or silver or gold!
0:14:17 > 0:14:19HE LAUGHS
0:14:19 > 0:14:21FAINT BEEPING
0:14:26 > 0:14:28It's a ring of some description.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Hang on, did he say a ring?
0:14:33 > 0:14:36- What have you found? - A small piece of jewellery.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39It's maybe a little ring, something like that.
0:14:40 > 0:14:45Well, it may be silver and not gold, but finally we have found a ring.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48And the small flotilla of archaeologists we brought down for the day
0:14:48 > 0:14:49actually have something to do.
0:14:49 > 0:14:50Yeah, it's amazing.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52I mean, you know, we have found a ring
0:14:52 > 0:14:54- And we came to look for a ring, we found one.- Yeah.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Not the one we were looking for,
0:14:56 > 0:15:00- but it's still, you know, pretty good going.- It is, yeah. I am impressed.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03And just half an hour later, out at sea.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06MUSIC: "Fortunate Son" by Credence Clearwater Revival
0:15:14 > 0:15:18It's not the missing ring, but it's a ring.
0:15:18 > 0:15:22It's taken most of the day, but amazingly we have found a gold ring.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27And it says 18 carat. 1-8-CT.
0:15:27 > 0:15:32That's not the one we want tragically, but it does mean that somebody's lost it.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Actually, if you think you lost it, you can write to us, you know,
0:15:35 > 0:15:38manlab@bbc.co.uk - mark your subject line That's My Ring.
0:15:38 > 0:15:43But you will have to correctly identify the two initials on it to claim it.
0:15:43 > 0:15:48As people across the country everywhere hit rewind to that close-up of the ring a minute ago,
0:15:48 > 0:15:54I survey our hoard. We've now scoured every square of our grid and found bottle tops,
0:15:54 > 0:15:59bolts, cutlery, a pistol chamber, a rather nice silver St Christopher medallion
0:15:59 > 0:16:03- and a camping kettle whistle. - WHISTLE
0:16:03 > 0:16:05And even two rings.
0:16:05 > 0:16:10But my dad's 1956 band of gold remains as lost as Atlantis.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17One part of me thinks "Well, the ring is here somewhere, why wouldn't it be?"
0:16:17 > 0:16:23And one of the rules of findology is that it's not lost, you're lost.
0:16:23 > 0:16:28You're looking in the wrong place. But then I also think in the 40 years since that happened,
0:16:28 > 0:16:35I fell off my bike a few times, discovered girls, went to sixth form college, went to university,
0:16:35 > 0:16:41had several false-start careers, bought several houses, met several people, travelled around the world.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44All those things have been going on and in all that time
0:16:44 > 0:16:48the wind has blown and the sea has washed over the sand and it could be anywhere.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51How could you possibly find it?
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Look how big it is.
0:16:56 > 0:17:01Coming up - we crank up the search, turning to the mechanical
0:17:01 > 0:17:03and the mystical.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05- You can actually ask that questions? - You can.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09ill we recover the lost ring from the sands of time?
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Wait a minute!
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Here's something that baffles me.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Why is that my mobile phone provider writes to me
0:17:25 > 0:17:28constantly with details of special offers?
0:17:28 > 0:17:29Why doesn't he just ring me up?
0:17:29 > 0:17:33In fact, why do all these people keep writing to me?
0:17:33 > 0:17:39"Free". I get a free tape measure if I spend £150.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43Yes, an art gallery opening, something about sandwiches,
0:17:43 > 0:17:47outdoor buildings, recycling my T-shirts,
0:17:47 > 0:17:52Would I like to pretend I've been injured in an accident, car insurance.
0:17:52 > 0:17:57Somebody would like to rent my house. Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza.
0:17:57 > 0:18:03I reckon that I'm employed for about 15 minutes every day on behalf of British commerce
0:18:03 > 0:18:06tidying up their litter.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08There must be an easier way.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10DRILL WHIRRS
0:18:20 > 0:18:23- Choice, bro.- Morning, Tony. - Morning, James.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26What we have in mind is a labour-saving mail sorting system
0:18:26 > 0:18:32that gets rid of the junk and brings the proper post to my office without me having to leave my desk.
0:18:32 > 0:18:37And to make it even more exciting, it's going to be delivered by train.
0:18:41 > 0:18:48This is where we rely on the Man Lab Integrated Transport Solution System,
0:18:48 > 0:18:50or model railway if you must.
0:18:50 > 0:18:56Down there by the letterbox, Simmy reckons he can devise a system for sorting the mail.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Good things that I want to read and then all the leaflets from people who think they can take my money
0:19:00 > 0:19:04just because they've printed For You My Friend Special Price in one corner.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07These will be loaded on to special wagons on the train,
0:19:07 > 0:19:10which will then make their way down here, gathering speed,
0:19:10 > 0:19:13thundering through the curve here behind the drawing board,
0:19:13 > 0:19:18past the tool board, the Swiss army bicycle, and it'll make its way,
0:19:18 > 0:19:23gathering yet more speed furiously, a flurry of connecting rods, through the bar,
0:19:23 > 0:19:28down here toward the kitchen. And then, somehow or other,
0:19:28 > 0:19:35the junk mail will be dropped off and will become kindling for lighting our pizza oven.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39Now, the train, unburdened by offers to buy your house even though it wasn't for sale,
0:19:39 > 0:19:45will roar off, given new wings by its light burden, across this bridge,
0:19:45 > 0:19:49past the £50 electric organ, round the curve,
0:19:49 > 0:19:54over the illuminated suspension bridge and round another left-hand curve here as yet to be built,
0:19:54 > 0:20:00to arrive here where Sim has devised something rather special.
0:20:00 > 0:20:06- Sim?- The train will come along, come on to this bridge section here,
0:20:06 > 0:20:10trip some switches, and the whole thing, train, carriages, mail,
0:20:10 > 0:20:12everything will go up to your office,
0:20:12 > 0:20:16join the other railway, which will then continue into the office.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18- Through the hole that Tony made earlier?- Yes.
0:20:18 > 0:20:19And arrive on my desk.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28In theory, this all seems simple enough, but in practice,
0:20:28 > 0:20:32it poses a few tricky technical problems, not least working out
0:20:32 > 0:20:34how to sort the post automatically.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Letterbox may be round here somewhere.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Letters will come in and stack.
0:20:41 > 0:20:45But then I have this little parallel motion arm,
0:20:45 > 0:20:51which will have a sucker on the end of it, which will come down and suck up the mail.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53If it's good mail it will drop it there.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56If it's bad mail, junk mail, it will pick it up,
0:20:56 > 0:21:00take it across to this side, drop it here and it will end up in there.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04What we do with it then, I have got no idea.
0:21:04 > 0:21:10Sim's automatic mail sorting suction arm will require a lot of electronics and wiring.
0:21:10 > 0:21:15While I get down to some serious soldering, Simon wrestles with another thorny issue.
0:21:15 > 0:21:20How to use the train's forward motion to activate the lift.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23The train operates the switch to lift it.
0:21:23 > 0:21:28As soon as the train hits the trip switch, a small electric motor starts winding the lift heavenwards.
0:21:28 > 0:21:33When it reaches the top, another switch brings it neatly to a halt.
0:21:33 > 0:21:38The trick is then to deliver power to the track so that the train can continue on its journey.
0:21:40 > 0:21:41Lovely!
0:21:44 > 0:21:47This project is stretching Sim to the limit.
0:21:47 > 0:21:52Eventually he snaps and has the shortest tantrum in the history of television.
0:21:52 > 0:21:58The fact that it's a... BLEEP impossible thing to do in the time! HE LAUGHS
0:21:58 > 0:22:03But many hours later, he's ready to test the automatic mail sorting arm.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07Now, what I've got here is a remote control system
0:22:07 > 0:22:11connected down to... that thing over there.
0:22:13 > 0:22:19This panel of switches drive tiny motors called servos, which control the motion of the arm.
0:22:19 > 0:22:25Another circuit controls an air pump, which delivers the suction needed to pick a letter up.
0:22:25 > 0:22:30- Look at that!- The entire sorting process is monitored with a webcam.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Picked up the letter.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34Oh, it's dropped it. That's good.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Into the train. We're ready to go.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43The final hurdle is to work out how to get rid of the junk mail.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46Sim's come up with a sort of swinging hopper wagon,
0:22:46 > 0:22:51but getting it to empty into the shredder is pushing him towards another O-gauge hissy fit.
0:22:51 > 0:22:57The problem is to get the junk mail off here, to go into here.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00That is not flipping easy.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Prodding it with a stick may look futile,
0:23:02 > 0:23:06but in fact it's the inspiration for a very elegant solution.
0:23:09 > 0:23:14When the train hits this buffer, a holding pin is released and a weighted arm does the rest.
0:23:16 > 0:23:17Ingenious!
0:23:18 > 0:23:22We've committed hundreds of hours to this project, but so we should -
0:23:22 > 0:23:26it's an important labour-saving device.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Finally, we're ready to tackle whatever the postie brings.
0:23:31 > 0:23:35So here's how it works. It is a little bit complicated so bear with me.
0:23:35 > 0:23:41On my desktop computer I have a remote view of the post that's just arrived
0:23:41 > 0:23:46and I also have some controls here that operate the sorting system.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49So, I have a look at the first thing on the pile there.
0:23:49 > 0:23:50It's a piece of junk mail.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53So I bring the operating arm over...
0:23:53 > 0:23:57It will swing into view on my camera. There it is. Fantastic.
0:23:57 > 0:24:03I turn on the vacuum... and then I lower the arm,
0:24:03 > 0:24:07select the piece of junk mail, and then select "junk",
0:24:07 > 0:24:12take it to one side and it should have deposited it.
0:24:12 > 0:24:18Let's have a look. Bring the arm back. Yes, the arm is empty.
0:24:18 > 0:24:26And I notice that the next thing in the pile is also junk mail, so vacuum on.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29It's beautiful, this.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Vacuum.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38This is absolutely fantastic.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41- Now look at this next one. - HE READS
0:24:41 > 0:24:47That is for me. So I'll bring the rocker arm back,
0:24:47 > 0:24:49vacuum on, pick up the mail,
0:24:51 > 0:24:56but this time I don't want to deposit it to junk, so I simply kill the vacuum
0:24:56 > 0:24:59and it drops straight down into the good mail carriage.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Now we are ready for our mail train to start its long
0:25:02 > 0:25:06and arduous journey up to my office. And really what we've done here
0:25:06 > 0:25:10is we've completely automated mail handling and delivery
0:25:10 > 0:25:13and we're invoking really the golden age of the post office,
0:25:13 > 0:25:19when everything was done in a hurry, on the move, with things like
0:25:19 > 0:25:23the travelling post office, a railway carriage in which there was a sorting office,
0:25:23 > 0:25:25so the letters were being sorted whilst they were on their way.
0:25:25 > 0:25:29In fact, it was the subject of a great public information film,
0:25:29 > 0:25:33The Night Mail, words by WH Auden. music by Benjamin Brittan.
0:25:33 > 0:25:38This is the night mail crossing the border, bringing the cheque and the postal order.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Letters for the rich, letters for the poor,
0:25:40 > 0:25:43the shop at the corner or the girl next door.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45Pulling up Beattock, a steady climb.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48The gradient's against her but she's on time.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51WHISTLE
0:25:53 > 0:25:58Our junk mail train is almost indistinguishable from the 1930s original
0:25:58 > 0:26:01as it gathers speed through the Man Lab.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03WHISTLE
0:26:07 > 0:26:12It bursts from the tunnel towards Sim's as-yet-unpatented shred-o-matic.
0:26:16 > 0:26:21It works! Pizza leaflets instantly transformed into pizza oven kindling.
0:26:26 > 0:26:31Now the train hurtles on towards its ultimate test, the self-raising lift bridge.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38As our plucky train is hoisted aloft,
0:26:38 > 0:26:43Sim and I can look back with pride at our mail train's triumphant journey.
0:26:43 > 0:26:49It's been such a success that I feel moved to verse myself.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Here is the junk mail crossing the Man Lab,
0:26:52 > 0:26:55bringing us offers of pizza and kebab.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Sitters for babies, sitters for cats,
0:26:57 > 0:27:00send us your old clothes, rent out your flat.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Work from your bedroom and earn instant cash
0:27:05 > 0:27:09or send us a claim for bogus whiplash.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11What will she bring me?
0:27:11 > 0:27:16I bet it's amazing, not cable or broadband, or cheap double glazing.
0:27:16 > 0:27:24See how she comes home, steady as we go.
0:27:24 > 0:27:31Ah, it's from the guild of English poets. They regret... it's a no.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Still never mind. How brilliant is that?
0:27:33 > 0:27:38A remote system for sorting and delivering your good mail directly to your desk.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41And I haven't even had to get out of my chair.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44What could be simpler?
0:27:47 > 0:27:49And now this.
0:27:52 > 0:27:53CHATTER
0:27:57 > 0:28:04Hello. You join me in a very, very busy pub where we are investigating a centuries-old problem.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07I can easily carry two pint glasses full of beer,
0:28:07 > 0:28:11and at a pinch I can manage three like that,
0:28:11 > 0:28:15but only the exceptionally talented can carry more than that.
0:28:15 > 0:28:20Which means, if you're out on a big night with a load of your mates
0:28:20 > 0:28:23and it's your turn to get the massive round in,
0:28:23 > 0:28:25you have to resort...to the tray.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28MUSIC: "O Fortuna" from Carmina Burana by Carl Orff
0:28:49 > 0:28:52It's all so tragically familiar.
0:28:52 > 0:28:54Now, though, we think we have the solution.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01Simmy has a very ingenious invention - very simple as well.
0:29:01 > 0:29:05It relies on atmospheric pressure, which is, of course, all around us.
0:29:05 > 0:29:08And we're not really aware of it until you take it away,
0:29:08 > 0:29:12and then you discover it's about 14 1/2 pounds per square inch.
0:29:12 > 0:29:17That's like having about six bags of sugar on an area like the end
0:29:17 > 0:29:18of your thumb.
0:29:18 > 0:29:22'Thanks to atmospheric pressure, we can create a vacuum by simply
0:29:22 > 0:29:26'putting a rubber disc over the pint glass and pressing down.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29'We also have a family-sized pack of vacuum gauges.'
0:29:29 > 0:29:32We've had the dials of these specially made for us, but
0:29:32 > 0:29:35they are marked "safe", "careful"
0:29:35 > 0:29:38and, right down at the bottom, "oops".
0:29:38 > 0:29:41They measure, effectively, the absence of air pressure,
0:29:41 > 0:29:43so if I suck on it...
0:29:43 > 0:29:44- Tasty?- No.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46'Time for a demonstration.'
0:29:46 > 0:29:49Here is a standard pint glass.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51We'll fill it just with water in this case.
0:29:52 > 0:29:55What we're going to do is effectively create a partial
0:29:55 > 0:29:57vacuum inside the glass,
0:29:57 > 0:30:00and it was Aristotle who originally observed all this stuff.
0:30:00 > 0:30:05It was he who said, "nature abhors a vacuum," and indeed it does.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08But we can turn it to our advantage, especially -
0:30:08 > 0:30:10and Aristotle wouldn't have understood this -
0:30:10 > 0:30:13if you have to get a really big round in. There is your pint.
0:30:13 > 0:30:17'Our gauge is reading "careful," but that's OK. Let's try this.
0:30:21 > 0:30:23'I'd say that's a success.
0:30:23 > 0:30:26'Even with Simmy literally trying to pull the pint glass off,
0:30:26 > 0:30:27'it won't budge.'
0:30:28 > 0:30:31That's a huge force. That's basically all my strength.
0:30:35 > 0:30:40So, let's return to the pub and put this to the ultimate test.
0:30:40 > 0:30:45A truly massive round and a very ham-fisted boy.
0:30:45 > 0:30:47'We've improved our prototype
0:30:47 > 0:30:50'by creating a Perspex coat-hanger style frame for our beer caddy.
0:30:50 > 0:30:55'This can be written on to say which drink is for whom in your round,
0:30:55 > 0:30:58'or to get your order understood in even the noisiest bar.
0:30:58 > 0:31:01'Once you've got your pint, simply put the pressure pads onto
0:31:01 > 0:31:03'the top and push down to create the vacuum.
0:31:05 > 0:31:08'Hook the tops of the pads onto the carrying frame and away you go.
0:31:10 > 0:31:13'Even the most elbowy pub in Britain holds no fears
0:31:13 > 0:31:15'for the carrier of the beer caddy.'
0:31:17 > 0:31:18Here you go, guys.
0:31:20 > 0:31:22Ah, very good.
0:31:22 > 0:31:25'Once you have your pint, simply peel off the rubber seal...'
0:31:25 > 0:31:27And enjoy.
0:31:27 > 0:31:31That's absolutely brilliant. I'll have the same, please, Rory.
0:31:41 > 0:31:45This bulging folder is absolutely rammed with ideas that have
0:31:45 > 0:31:49been proposed for Man Lab, but that have never made it onto the screen.
0:31:49 > 0:31:53Why not? Well, some of them, frankly, are rubbish,
0:31:53 > 0:31:57like the dog training challenge, or build your own Viking long ship.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59But a lot of them are great.
0:31:59 > 0:32:01They're simply not very suitable for television.
0:32:01 > 0:32:05They're too long winded or they're not very "visual",
0:32:05 > 0:32:06as our director would say.
0:32:06 > 0:32:09But it does seem a pity to waste them,
0:32:09 > 0:32:13so then we had another idea that won't make it onto the television.
0:32:13 > 0:32:16We'll do them on the radio.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23Why are we really doing this?
0:32:23 > 0:32:26It's because, despite the proliferation of newspapers,
0:32:26 > 0:32:29magazines and radio stations and TV channels,
0:32:29 > 0:32:32there are still people who don't have a voice.
0:32:35 > 0:32:39And, with Radio Man Lab - 107.0 FM - we are giving them
0:32:39 > 0:32:43a forum, a place where they can speak freely about art and
0:32:43 > 0:32:48science and natural history and love and personal problems and metalwork.
0:32:50 > 0:32:54Free of any sort of populist or commercial considerations.
0:32:54 > 0:32:56And there are of course people who won't like this.
0:32:56 > 0:33:00That's why we're broadcasting from a place where no-one can touch us.
0:33:00 > 0:33:02Offshore.
0:33:05 > 0:33:06So, here we go.
0:33:06 > 0:33:09In the spirit of the great pirate radio pioneers - Caroline,
0:33:09 > 0:33:12obviously, we are broadcasting from a long boat,
0:33:12 > 0:33:15Elizabeth of Glamis, on the Grand Union Canal in all its beauty,
0:33:15 > 0:33:18just outside Milton Keynes in Bedfordshire.
0:33:18 > 0:33:20Never done this before. Here we go.
0:33:21 > 0:33:23Cast off.
0:33:25 > 0:33:29Now, if you're too young to know what one of these is,
0:33:29 > 0:33:32let alone one of these, pirate radio was popular in the '60s,
0:33:32 > 0:33:35thanks to offshore radio ships like Caroline.
0:33:35 > 0:33:39Because they were technically in international waters,
0:33:39 > 0:33:41they could broadcast unlicensed anarchy,
0:33:41 > 0:33:44and give listeners something they'd never had before,
0:33:44 > 0:33:46challenging the orthodoxy and giving the people a voice.
0:33:46 > 0:33:49We're going to be doing exactly the same,
0:33:49 > 0:33:52and with the latest technology.
0:33:52 > 0:33:54Is that being broadcast?
0:33:54 > 0:33:58'So, at Radio Man Lab, everything works through 3G.
0:33:58 > 0:34:00'At the back of the boat is this box,
0:34:00 > 0:34:03'which contains six mobile phone SIM cards.
0:34:03 > 0:34:06'We simply transmit on whichever SIM card has the best
0:34:06 > 0:34:07'signal at any time.
0:34:07 > 0:34:10'That signal then whizzes back to a secret local rooftop
0:34:10 > 0:34:12'where it is converted to FM
0:34:12 > 0:34:14'and blasted out of these antennas
0:34:14 > 0:34:17'to enthral the whole of Milton Keynes.'
0:34:17 > 0:34:21Radio Man Lab, 107 FM, just cast off here on the Grand Union Canal
0:34:21 > 0:34:23and heading for our first lock gate.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26Good morning, everybody.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28# Ma-a-a-an la-a-ab. #
0:34:28 > 0:34:30Coming up later on the show:
0:34:30 > 0:34:33We've got Peter, the mingy comumbus coracle man, in the water
0:34:33 > 0:34:36giving us live reports of action as it happens here
0:34:36 > 0:34:37on the Grand Union Canal.
0:34:37 > 0:34:40'There is just one small hitch in our mission to inform,
0:34:40 > 0:34:42'educate and anarchise.
0:34:42 > 0:34:44'While the BBC obviously love to promote the kind of illegal
0:34:44 > 0:34:47'radio activity that stuffed them in the '60s, they've told us
0:34:47 > 0:34:51'we have to get a licence, or they will replace us with MasterChef.
0:34:51 > 0:34:54'We may now be the most regulated anarchist pirates in radio
0:34:54 > 0:34:58'history, but we can still be the people's station.'
0:34:58 > 0:35:00Man Lab, 107 FM.
0:35:00 > 0:35:04'We've bludgeoned the Biebers, garrotted the Gagas
0:35:04 > 0:35:07'and instead of generic auto-tune pop, we have guests that would
0:35:07 > 0:35:09'otherwise never see the light of day.'
0:35:09 > 0:35:14Joining me off the riverbank finally and on the boat is Peter Mingy Comumbus,
0:35:14 > 0:35:18our coracle builder from the previous series of Man Lab.
0:35:18 > 0:35:20- Peter, hello.- Good morning, James.
0:35:20 > 0:35:24One of humankind's most primitive watercraft, I suppose.
0:35:24 > 0:35:28I mean, after the cut-out log, and so on, it's the coracle, isn't it?
0:35:28 > 0:35:32The sea boats were used by the Mesolithic people 8,000 years ago.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35So I think the coracle could be beyond the last ice age,
0:35:35 > 0:35:38we don't know. A very, very ancient form of transport.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40And what are you going to do for us?
0:35:40 > 0:35:42You've bought your trusty coracle along, one we've seen before,
0:35:42 > 0:35:45and you're going to paddle up and down the river.
0:35:45 > 0:35:47And what are you going to report on?
0:35:47 > 0:35:51- I'm looking for interesting flora and fauna.- OK.
0:35:51 > 0:35:53You go off, if you don't mind, and get in your coracle
0:35:53 > 0:35:57and we'll fade up CD player two - I've no idea what's on it.
0:35:57 > 0:36:00'This is what Man Lab FM is all about.
0:36:00 > 0:36:03'Here is a man who spends his time wandering around the forest
0:36:03 > 0:36:07'alone and in tiny shorts picking up sticks to make Neolithic boats.
0:36:07 > 0:36:10'He's never had anyone to talk to, but now,
0:36:10 > 0:36:13'thanks to our semi-pirate radio station, he has.'
0:36:13 > 0:36:17Anyway, Dan, I'd love to go over to Peter Mingy Comumbus,
0:36:17 > 0:36:21who is - I can see he's behind us. He's trailing a bit, to be honest.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24How do we get him up on our airwaves, Dan?
0:36:24 > 0:36:27We can talk to him whenever we like. Apparently.
0:36:27 > 0:36:29OK, let's see if we can work out...
0:36:29 > 0:36:31Just in case you've only just joined us,
0:36:31 > 0:36:34ladies and gentlemen, we've never done this before,
0:36:34 > 0:36:37and Dan is making a face at me to say, no, no, it's not possible.
0:36:37 > 0:36:39We can't get Peter Mingy Comumbus up on the mic.
0:36:39 > 0:36:44'It may not look it, but this could be a very expensive problem.'
0:36:44 > 0:36:46- So is the out of range of the radio? - He is out of range.
0:36:46 > 0:36:48He's on the camera right now.
0:36:48 > 0:36:50'Because we're now being regulated by broadcasting law,
0:36:50 > 0:36:54'any radio silence or dead air can land us a fine from Ofcom
0:36:54 > 0:36:58'of up to £25,000 per minute.'
0:36:59 > 0:37:01Oh, which radio mic is he on?
0:37:01 > 0:37:05'Peter, now broadcasting to no-one, is making the most expensive,
0:37:05 > 0:37:09'cosy riverside nature report in radio history.'
0:37:09 > 0:37:11There's some wild Angelica there,
0:37:11 > 0:37:14that's the stuff they put on tops of cakes, Angelica.
0:37:14 > 0:37:17- So we can't speak to him.- Not yet.
0:37:17 > 0:37:22You don't often see moles on surface. Especially in the daytime.
0:37:22 > 0:37:26- Will I be able to hear what he's saying?- No.
0:37:27 > 0:37:31Very good nectar source. If you have these in your garden, it's very good.
0:37:31 > 0:37:32This hasn't worked.
0:37:32 > 0:37:36'As the first person we've tried to give a voice to drifts off half
0:37:36 > 0:37:39'a mile downstream, we're left with a two-hour gap in our schedule
0:37:39 > 0:37:42'and a gargantuan fine looming over us.
0:37:42 > 0:37:46'If we're going to stick to our guns and refuse to churn out pop music,
0:37:46 > 0:37:49'we're going to have to resort to drastic measures.
0:37:49 > 0:37:52'Luckily, I've been keeping an ace up my sleeve
0:37:52 > 0:37:54'for just such an occasion.'
0:37:54 > 0:37:57Anyway, on line one, I believe we have Jane,
0:37:57 > 0:37:59who is here to play radio battleships.
0:37:59 > 0:38:02- Hello, Jane, are you there? - 'Good afternoon, James, yes, I am.'
0:38:02 > 0:38:04Excellent, fantastic.
0:38:04 > 0:38:07You should have a 10 by 10 grid marked one, two, three, four,
0:38:07 > 0:38:09five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10.
0:38:09 > 0:38:12And A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J down the side. Have you got that?
0:38:12 > 0:38:14'Yes, I have, yes.'
0:38:14 > 0:38:16You now need to draw some battleships on
0:38:16 > 0:38:21and they are an aircraft carrier, which is five squares long.
0:38:22 > 0:38:25The battleship, which is four squares long.
0:38:25 > 0:38:29A destroyer and a submarine, each of which are three squares long...
0:38:29 > 0:38:33'This went on longer than the Battle of Trafalgar.'
0:38:33 > 0:38:35'C4.'
0:38:38 > 0:38:44- 'Jane?- Yes, I'm here. Yes. - That's an miss. Oh dear.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46'Hang on, I'll play the sound effect.'
0:38:46 > 0:38:50SOUND OF MISSILE HITTING WATER
0:38:50 > 0:38:52- 'I3.'- I3.
0:38:52 > 0:38:57'This is, even by Man Lab FM standards, a bit of a low point.
0:38:58 > 0:39:01'We might be filling up the airspace,
0:39:01 > 0:39:04'but this is hardly the kind of programming we set out to produce.
0:39:04 > 0:39:08'I would like to fire a shell roundly at square B3.
0:39:10 > 0:39:14'After two hours of radio battleships, Jane finally
0:39:14 > 0:39:16'triumphed when she sank my little boat
0:39:16 > 0:39:19'with a direct hit on square D6.
0:39:19 > 0:39:23'And then, Dan the producer said we were ready to have another go
0:39:23 > 0:39:28'at Peter Mingy Comumbus's one-man riverbank menagerie show.
0:39:28 > 0:39:30'Fingers crossed.'
0:39:30 > 0:39:33On radio mic one, I believe I am now in contact with
0:39:33 > 0:39:36Peter Mingy Comumbus in the coracle on the Grand Union Canal.
0:39:36 > 0:39:37Are you there, Peter?
0:39:37 > 0:39:42- I certainly am. I'm puffed, but I'm all right.- Yes, I'm sure you are.
0:39:42 > 0:39:47- Look what we've got here. A little baby moorhen.- Oh, I can see that.
0:39:47 > 0:39:49Just off the starboard bow.
0:39:49 > 0:39:53I had an amazing experience in a forest once when I was out running.
0:39:53 > 0:39:57There was a baby deer, just a tiny one, came up to me
0:39:57 > 0:39:59and was nuzzling my knees.
0:39:59 > 0:40:03I think mum might have been shot or something the night before.
0:40:04 > 0:40:07'Peter's unconventional and slightly disturbing nature report
0:40:07 > 0:40:10'fills the gap before our afternoon guest.
0:40:10 > 0:40:13'After some initial hiccups, Man Lab FM is back on track,
0:40:13 > 0:40:15'and if we can keep this going until 4pm,
0:40:15 > 0:40:18'when our licence expires, we might just do this.
0:40:18 > 0:40:21'And as the rest of our guests arrive, finally,
0:40:21 > 0:40:23'the people's station starts to come together.
0:40:25 > 0:40:27Hello, listeners - I hope there are some of you -
0:40:27 > 0:40:30I'm joined on the longboat now by the man very much responsible
0:40:30 > 0:40:34for restoring the aqueducts over which we are about to cross.
0:40:34 > 0:40:36Good morning, James, it's a fantastic aqueduct.
0:40:36 > 0:40:39A wonderful, historic structure, 200 years old.
0:40:39 > 0:40:43'Here is a man who is shunned by a society that refuses to accept
0:40:43 > 0:40:46'that Romanesque waterways are totes amazeballs.
0:40:46 > 0:40:48'Now he can share his passion with the world.'
0:40:48 > 0:40:51There were two engineering challenges.
0:40:51 > 0:40:54The first was the hill, which they solved by putting a 300-yard
0:40:54 > 0:40:57tunnel through, and the other was getting over the river Ouse.
0:40:57 > 0:41:00Restricted view seats. Radio Man Lab's art, culture
0:41:00 > 0:41:04and literature slot. To sell 25,000 copies of a book essentially
0:41:04 > 0:41:07just about soldering is a remarkable achievement.
0:41:07 > 0:41:08Thank you.
0:41:08 > 0:41:12Well, a good flux, especially pre-flux solder,
0:41:12 > 0:41:15should immediately dissipate.
0:41:15 > 0:41:18'Would Radio One liberate the creativity of its listeners
0:41:18 > 0:41:21'by gathering together their forgotten teenage love poetry
0:41:21 > 0:41:24'and have it read by the poet laureate of Milton Keynes?
0:41:24 > 0:41:25'I think not.'
0:41:25 > 0:41:27"I know you looked at me in the gym
0:41:27 > 0:41:30"and I know you'll never love me because of him
0:41:30 > 0:41:32"If you only knew the things I could do
0:41:32 > 0:41:34"When I'm alone I think of you
0:41:34 > 0:41:38"It often makes me feel real blue."
0:41:38 > 0:41:41'And, across Milton Keynes, people are actually tuning in.'
0:41:42 > 0:41:45- 'What are you going to play? - I'm going to play Thomas Campion.
0:41:45 > 0:41:47Thomas Campion, 1567 to 1620. Lovely.
0:41:47 > 0:41:53# That Midas spell has governed me too long. #
0:41:55 > 0:41:58'And Milton Keynes is starting to talk back.'
0:41:58 > 0:42:01Are you listening to our radio station in your taxi at the moment?
0:42:01 > 0:42:04- I am, indeed, yes.- What do you think of it so far?- It's brilliant.
0:42:04 > 0:42:07"Dear James, at the moment I am not in a relationship,
0:42:07 > 0:42:10"however I am very close to my cat, Molly.
0:42:10 > 0:42:13"Do you advise me to try and find a man or to buy another cat?"
0:42:13 > 0:42:17'Even if our offshore studio is creating its own problems.'
0:42:17 > 0:42:20Producer Dan, we have a phone call... Er, no, we've lost them.
0:42:20 > 0:42:22I think we went under a bridge.
0:42:22 > 0:42:25Is there any way we can stop the boat reversing while we try
0:42:25 > 0:42:26and learn to play the lute?
0:42:26 > 0:42:29Can we please move the radio station away from the bloody railway line?
0:42:29 > 0:42:31- RUMBLING - What the hell was that?
0:42:31 > 0:42:35'Even ear-shredding locomotives cannot daunt us in our quest
0:42:35 > 0:42:39'to bring important matters to local radio, such as local history.'
0:42:39 > 0:42:41Life was generally pretty grim for most people - I think
0:42:41 > 0:42:42that's what we tend to forget.
0:42:42 > 0:42:44'The world of the psychic.'
0:42:44 > 0:42:47I'm sure I've got a man standing at the bottom of the stairs
0:42:47 > 0:42:50in my house. But only I've ever seen him.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53'Although our celebrity booking could do with some work.'
0:42:53 > 0:42:56I'm not actually sure, having looked over your shoulder at your notes,
0:42:56 > 0:43:00that I'm the Julia Roberts you think you're going to interview.
0:43:02 > 0:43:05# Radio Man Lab
0:43:05 > 0:43:08# Man Lab FM. #
0:43:08 > 0:43:12So far, we haven't had any official complaints about Radio Man Lab.
0:43:12 > 0:43:15Presumably, the listeners - and there aren't going to be that
0:43:15 > 0:43:18many of them - are reasonably forgiving because they know
0:43:18 > 0:43:20it's me and they know it's the first time we've done it.
0:43:20 > 0:43:21But, to be brutally honest,
0:43:21 > 0:43:25it's the hardest job in the world, and it's dangerous to say this,
0:43:25 > 0:43:29but compared with presenting television, doing radio is very hard.
0:43:29 > 0:43:31Television, I'm talking and there's a man there
0:43:31 > 0:43:34and he operates the camera. There's a man there
0:43:34 > 0:43:37and he operates all the knobs that control the sound.
0:43:37 > 0:43:39There's a man there who tells me what to do.
0:43:39 > 0:43:42When you're doing the radio, you're operating the kit
0:43:42 > 0:43:45and being the bloke on the radio.
0:43:45 > 0:43:47The really remarkable thing is that Richard Hammond used to be
0:43:47 > 0:43:49able to do this.
0:43:49 > 0:43:52'As we approach the end of our day's broadcast, I do have to admit
0:43:52 > 0:43:56'there is something rather pleasant about a life on the canal.'
0:43:56 > 0:43:58Quite difficult, this radio lark.
0:43:58 > 0:44:01I can tell you we are rounding a gentle left-hand bend
0:44:01 > 0:44:05on the Grand Union Canal and going past a slightly derelict warehouse.
0:44:06 > 0:44:08It's altogether lovely, actually.
0:44:08 > 0:44:10It's a different view of the world from the canal.
0:44:10 > 0:44:12Not a fast one, but a nice one.
0:44:14 > 0:44:18'As we near Fenny Stratford, and our docking point at the local pub,
0:44:18 > 0:44:22'it's time to bring our grand voyage on the airwaves to a close.'
0:44:23 > 0:44:27We're coming to the end of our first and only ever Radio Man Lab
0:44:27 > 0:44:30broadcast, which is coming up to nearly five hours of broadcast time.
0:44:30 > 0:44:33We've just about worked out how to operate the stuff, have we not, Dan?
0:44:33 > 0:44:35We certainly have.
0:44:35 > 0:44:38Now we're going to find out, as we arrive at the pub down there,
0:44:38 > 0:44:41how well or badly we've done, because everybody
0:44:41 > 0:44:45down there has been listening to Radio Man Lab, 107.0 FM,
0:44:45 > 0:44:48broadcasting to you from the Grand Union Canal,
0:44:48 > 0:44:50just outside Milton Keynes.
0:44:50 > 0:44:55'In these days of 1,000 TV channels, blogging, webstreaming,
0:44:55 > 0:44:58'and face twits, the humble radio might seem as dead as The Buggles
0:44:58 > 0:45:00'would have had you believe.
0:45:00 > 0:45:03'But maybe, by bringing a taste of the Renaissance to pirate radio,
0:45:03 > 0:45:06'we can bring pirate radio to a renaissance.
0:45:08 > 0:45:11'Today, we successfully brought voices to coracle builders,
0:45:11 > 0:45:14'aqueduct historians, soldering experts,
0:45:14 > 0:45:18'floppy hatted musicians, psychics, poets and Hollywood doppelgangers -
0:45:18 > 0:45:20'what more could anyone want?'
0:45:21 > 0:45:23Is it any good?
0:45:23 > 0:45:24It was all right, mate, yeah,
0:45:24 > 0:45:28but it could do with a bit more about the fishing and the canals,
0:45:28 > 0:45:30the history of the canals.
0:45:30 > 0:45:31I'd listen to it if it was on,
0:45:31 > 0:45:34but obviously have different topics to listen to.
0:45:34 > 0:45:36But the station as a whole was quite good, yeah.
0:45:36 > 0:45:39It sounded quite talk-based, but the sort of thing I would listen to.
0:45:39 > 0:45:41It was quite interesting.
0:45:41 > 0:45:45I think I would like to sit there and listen to it all day.
0:45:45 > 0:45:47That was absolutely rubbish.
0:45:47 > 0:45:50'Well, you can't please everyone. But that's rather the point.
0:45:50 > 0:45:53'What we've delivered today has been divisive,
0:45:53 > 0:45:55'underground and utterly niche.
0:45:55 > 0:45:58'You can't get more pirate radio than that.'
0:45:58 > 0:46:02Well, there you go - the medium of radio is insatiable.
0:46:02 > 0:46:04So, if you know a great deal about fishing,
0:46:04 > 0:46:08the frequency 107.0 is free in the Milton Keynes area.
0:46:08 > 0:46:09Fill your boots.
0:46:15 > 0:46:17'Earlier in the show,
0:46:17 > 0:46:20'we embarked on a treasure hunt worthy of Indiana Jones himself,
0:46:20 > 0:46:25'to find my dad's wedding ring, lost on Sandbanks Beach in 1973.'
0:46:25 > 0:46:28I didn't see where it went, but I felt it go.
0:46:28 > 0:46:30'After consulting with geological experts...'
0:46:30 > 0:46:34- So, as long as we can detect it, and dig...- Yes.
0:46:34 > 0:46:37'..We put together an army of metal detectorists, archaeologists
0:46:37 > 0:46:39'and scuba divers.
0:46:39 > 0:46:43'And devised a grid search system to thoroughly comb the whole beach.
0:46:44 > 0:46:49- 'So far, we've found a lot of junk.' - It's just a button.- Silver paper.
0:46:49 > 0:46:51Just a Coke can.
0:46:51 > 0:46:53'And even one or two rings, but our grid system is all
0:46:53 > 0:46:57'but exhausted and our situation is looking desperate.'
0:46:57 > 0:46:58Look how big it is.
0:47:00 > 0:47:04'But then, we come across a man who suggests a drastic change of tack.'
0:47:04 > 0:47:08The difference between dowsing and using a metal detector is
0:47:08 > 0:47:11obviously a metal detector can only look for the metal under the ground.
0:47:11 > 0:47:13You can use this as a directional finder.
0:47:13 > 0:47:16So if you asked which way the sun is shining,
0:47:16 > 0:47:18the rods will then point towards the sun.
0:47:18 > 0:47:21'Adrian Incledon-Webber is a professional dowser,
0:47:21 > 0:47:23'who claims to be able to tell us
0:47:23 > 0:47:25'precisely where Dad's ring has got to.'
0:47:25 > 0:47:29There is no scientific explanation for why dowsing should work.
0:47:29 > 0:47:33And yet, there are continuous examples of it being used
0:47:33 > 0:47:36successfully throughout history.
0:47:36 > 0:47:39Even to the extent that troops in the Vietnam War dowsed
0:47:39 > 0:47:41to avoid booby-traps.
0:47:41 > 0:47:44Einstein was convinced by it, claiming it simply showed the
0:47:44 > 0:47:49reaction of the human nervous system to factors unknown at this time.
0:47:49 > 0:47:52We may be entering the realm of the peculiar.
0:47:52 > 0:47:56- Can I interrupt? You can actually ask that questions?- You can.
0:47:56 > 0:47:59With most dowsing rods you get a yes or no response, so normally
0:47:59 > 0:48:03when people ask, you ask for a yes response and the rods will cross.
0:48:03 > 0:48:05A no response is the other way round.
0:48:05 > 0:48:09But you should just be able to ask a simple question - show me
0:48:09 > 0:48:12where Jim walked, and just really follow the rods to see where
0:48:12 > 0:48:14he ended up, where you ended up as a family.
0:48:14 > 0:48:17- If you go and start over there. - Absolutely.- Sure, let's do that.
0:48:20 > 0:48:22Yes.
0:48:22 > 0:48:24I do sort of want to ask him,
0:48:24 > 0:48:27is this serious or are you a bit of a nutcase?
0:48:27 > 0:48:30But it seems actually quite rude, and it's very easy to dismiss it.
0:48:31 > 0:48:36Let's see what he comes up with. I think he's roughly right so far.
0:48:38 > 0:48:41'Supposed explanations of dowsing include anything from the rods
0:48:41 > 0:48:44'channelling the human subconscious to discussions on ley lines
0:48:44 > 0:48:46'and the nonlinearity of time.
0:48:46 > 0:48:48'But regardless, and rather freakily,
0:48:48 > 0:48:52'Adrian does immediately head to the spot where I think Dad was.'
0:48:54 > 0:48:56Possibly, possibly, yes.
0:48:56 > 0:48:59'I'm a long way from convinced, but at this point,
0:48:59 > 0:49:01'I'm willing to give anything a try.'
0:49:01 > 0:49:03The ring disappeared off about here.
0:49:03 > 0:49:08Well, in that case, we should mark out another square here.
0:49:08 > 0:49:11'So, with a slight adjustment to our grid system,
0:49:11 > 0:49:14'we're ready to commence Operation Dowse.'
0:49:14 > 0:49:16As Vincent, our geomorphologist, said,
0:49:16 > 0:49:20the sands will have built up over time, but as we are now
0:49:20 > 0:49:22concentrating on a smaller area,
0:49:22 > 0:49:25we can pool our resources and dig deeper.
0:49:25 > 0:49:28So we cordoned off a new area here, we're going to concentrate on this.
0:49:28 > 0:49:32The geomorphic evidence is it would be down at least two
0:49:32 > 0:49:37or three feet, so we need to dig away, scan, dig, scan until we go down
0:49:37 > 0:49:40maybe three or four feet, and then we stand a chance of detecting it.
0:49:40 > 0:49:43So all our searchers are being mustered,
0:49:43 > 0:49:46they're going to invade this square and we're going to go for it.
0:49:46 > 0:49:49'And so we reach the moment traditional for all blokes'
0:49:49 > 0:49:53'days out at the beach - digging a bloody great big hole in the sand.
0:49:53 > 0:49:56'Like a slightly trainspotter-y chain gang,
0:49:56 > 0:50:00'our detectorists toil in the cruel Sandbanks sun.'
0:50:00 > 0:50:03'But even with all our volunteers, and one or two extra ones,
0:50:03 > 0:50:06'we still can't search deep enough or fast enough.
0:50:06 > 0:50:09'But I think I've found a solution.'
0:50:09 > 0:50:12ROCK MUSIC
0:50:20 > 0:50:23'In the back of my mind there's a small worry that,
0:50:23 > 0:50:26'like Alec Guinness in Bridge On The River Kwai,
0:50:26 > 0:50:28'I've allowed obsession to turn to madness,
0:50:28 > 0:50:31'that finding this ring isn't that important after all.
0:50:31 > 0:50:33'Maybe I've taken this that bit too far and just
0:50:33 > 0:50:36'disturbed everyone's day at the seaside.
0:50:36 > 0:50:37'Nah.'
0:50:40 > 0:50:42Mark the local digger driver has
0:50:42 > 0:50:45taken this area of the beach down to the level of the old sand,
0:50:45 > 0:50:48about three feet, so now everybody's going to come in,
0:50:48 > 0:50:49thoroughly scan and sift this lot
0:50:49 > 0:50:52and this, of course, is where it will be, somewhere in here.
0:50:52 > 0:50:54Go.
0:50:54 > 0:50:56MUSIC: "Wipeout" by The Surfaris
0:51:02 > 0:51:05'This is our literal last-ditch attempt in our
0:51:05 > 0:51:07'glorious crusade in the name of St Anthony.
0:51:07 > 0:51:10'Men, women and children standing up as one and saying
0:51:10 > 0:51:12' "No, you shall not take our car keys.
0:51:12 > 0:51:14' "You shall not leave me without a pen.
0:51:14 > 0:51:18' "Even though I swear I put it down right there just a moment ago.
0:51:18 > 0:51:22' "We will search, we will hunt, we will scour." '
0:51:22 > 0:51:23Anything?
0:51:23 > 0:51:25' "And we will find nothing." '
0:51:27 > 0:51:29I'm slightly amazed.
0:51:29 > 0:51:32I thought the detectors would all go completely mad down at this level.
0:51:32 > 0:51:35Well, they normally would...
0:51:35 > 0:51:38'But before you can say "What a waste of time that was,"
0:51:38 > 0:51:41'Adrian has a brand-new theory.
0:51:41 > 0:51:45'Dad did drop the ring here, it's just not here now.'
0:51:45 > 0:51:47Now, the great thing about dowsing is, it's
0:51:47 > 0:51:50just nice to be able to sit at home and actually do some remote dowsing.
0:51:50 > 0:51:53When the phone call came through, or when the e-mail came through from
0:51:53 > 0:51:58Rory, I copied a map off of the computer, and when I dowsed -
0:51:58 > 0:52:01"Is it on the beach? No, it's not. Where is it?"
0:52:01 > 0:52:03and actually by looking at the X and Y axis,
0:52:03 > 0:52:07actually found it about maybe 2,000 yards into the sea.
0:52:08 > 0:52:10When I dowsed the next morning, I actually
0:52:10 > 0:52:14found it about two, you know, about three and a half, four miles inland.
0:52:14 > 0:52:16- So I think what happens... - It's a big area.
0:52:16 > 0:52:18It is but, yeah... But what happens,
0:52:18 > 0:52:20we could probably pinpoint it on a map or a street,
0:52:20 > 0:52:23is that my initial impression was somebody actually found it.
0:52:23 > 0:52:26Probably about three weeks later, a metal detector came down,
0:52:26 > 0:52:30found it. But one of his first ever finds and rather than wearing
0:52:30 > 0:52:34it round his finger, I think he's got it on a little chain around his neck.
0:52:34 > 0:52:36When it was in the sea that day, I think he's got a boat.
0:52:36 > 0:52:40A little fisherman goes out and he's actually still got it with him.
0:52:42 > 0:52:43It's a nice story.
0:52:43 > 0:52:46It is not a bad story. That's kind of what...
0:52:46 > 0:52:47Fits together quite well, doesn't it?
0:52:47 > 0:52:50'I suspect there might be another reason why Adrian's
0:52:50 > 0:52:54'remote dowsing produced a different result each time, but he
0:52:54 > 0:52:57'convinces me to go in a car with him to where he believes this
0:52:57 > 0:53:01'mystery '70s metal-detecting fisherman might be.'
0:53:01 > 0:53:03- When I first dowsed, it was out to sea.- Yeah.
0:53:03 > 0:53:05The next time I dowsed remotely,
0:53:05 > 0:53:07it was actually a couple of miles that way,
0:53:07 > 0:53:10and then, dowsing this morning, it kind of picked it up
0:53:10 > 0:53:14a lot earlier in a boatyard over the other side of
0:53:14 > 0:53:17- the chain-link which is... - Oh, it is a boat yard?- Yeah.
0:53:17 > 0:53:20- Do you know it's a bloke? - It's definitely a bloke, yeah.
0:53:20 > 0:53:23He was about 26, 27 when he found it,
0:53:24 > 0:53:27- so he's going to be in his mid-60s now, I think.- Yeah, OK.
0:53:27 > 0:53:2965, 66 that sort of age group.
0:53:29 > 0:53:30And the person's name you think begins with A?
0:53:30 > 0:53:32I think it begins with A. and I was hoping...
0:53:32 > 0:53:35- Can you ask what the second letter is or...?- I haven't yet.
0:53:35 > 0:53:38On his name? That's probably not easy dowsing in here but...
0:53:38 > 0:53:41So the first half of the alphabet. Yeah.
0:53:41 > 0:53:45MUSIC: "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane
0:53:45 > 0:53:47Probably an I, I think.
0:53:47 > 0:53:51'I feel like I've fallen completely down the rabbit hole.'
0:53:51 > 0:53:54That, I think, is the boatyard.
0:53:54 > 0:53:56'I'm not entirely sure how this has happened.
0:53:56 > 0:53:58'I started off the day with a detailed scientific plan
0:53:58 > 0:54:01'involving grid systems and now I'm wandering
0:54:01 > 0:54:03'towards the Poole Royal Motor Yacht Club,
0:54:03 > 0:54:06'feeling like a psychic Challenge Anneka.'
0:54:06 > 0:54:08Can you tell me anything else before I go in? Cos it's going to be quite
0:54:08 > 0:54:11a difficult introduction to make - "I'm looking for a man in his..."
0:54:11 > 0:54:14- 60s, mid-60s, who...- Yeah. - ..done a bit of...
0:54:14 > 0:54:18No, I can't really do much more than that. Let's have a... Let's see.
0:54:18 > 0:54:21We're looking for a man in his mid to late 60s,
0:54:21 > 0:54:22whose name begins with A.
0:54:22 > 0:54:25- Yeah, we only know A, possibly A, I.- What does he do?
0:54:25 > 0:54:27- Well, that we don't know. - We don't know.
0:54:27 > 0:54:29- Mid-60s...- OK.
0:54:29 > 0:54:31- ..whose name begins with A. - With A?
0:54:31 > 0:54:34I feel he was actually out on the sea yesterday as well.
0:54:35 > 0:54:37What's told you that?
0:54:37 > 0:54:38Just dowsing.
0:54:38 > 0:54:40- What's your name?- Rob.
0:54:40 > 0:54:41- It's not you, then?- No.
0:54:41 > 0:54:44It's one of the most bizarre questions I've ever been asked.
0:54:44 > 0:54:48I bet it's been quite difficult asking it, because...
0:54:48 > 0:54:50Do you need a quick conclusion? Can we spread the word?
0:54:50 > 0:54:53- Oh, please, do spread the word. No, seriously.- Yeah.
0:54:53 > 0:54:56- We're very keen.- That's the way you're going to find out.- Yes.
0:54:56 > 0:54:57Brilliant. Thank you. Good.
0:54:57 > 0:55:00OK, thanks again, thanks.
0:55:00 > 0:55:02- It's still lost.- Thanks for being so accommodating as well.
0:55:02 > 0:55:03It's still lost!
0:55:05 > 0:55:08'We've been digging and detecting now for nearly ten hours
0:55:08 > 0:55:10'and the whole team has sand
0:55:10 > 0:55:12'permanently stuck in places it shouldn't be.
0:55:12 > 0:55:15'We've scoured every inch of beach and, even with all our
0:55:15 > 0:55:20'resources and all our methods, I don't think we've even come close.'
0:55:20 > 0:55:23It does at least lay to rest this old idea that
0:55:23 > 0:55:25- Britain is the dirty man of Europe. - BEEPING
0:55:25 > 0:55:30Wait a minute! Cos this beach is spotlessly clean. Do it again.
0:55:30 > 0:55:32What have you got?
0:55:32 > 0:55:33We don't know but...
0:55:33 > 0:55:35You're not just picking up his metal...
0:55:35 > 0:55:38Anybody got a little shovel, a little sieve?
0:55:38 > 0:55:43- Chip fryer.- Oh, here we go, we've got the chip fryer of tradition.
0:55:43 > 0:55:45BEEPING
0:55:45 > 0:55:49'If this is it, if, 40 years later, we find the ring again
0:55:49 > 0:55:53'using the chip pan fryer, it may be one of the most poetic,
0:55:53 > 0:55:56'non-award-winning moments in televisual history.'
0:55:56 > 0:55:58MUSIC: "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by U2
0:55:58 > 0:56:01METAL DETECTOR SOUNDS
0:56:01 > 0:56:03- Is that a good one?- Yeah, yeah.
0:56:03 > 0:56:06- That's a good one? - Yeah.- Right. Hold on.
0:56:06 > 0:56:10# I have run through the fields... #
0:56:10 > 0:56:11BEEPING
0:56:11 > 0:56:14Yeah, let's make a separate pile here. See if it's in there.
0:56:17 > 0:56:18What is that?
0:56:20 > 0:56:26- It's metal, whatever it is.- It's a metal rod. Has anybody got a trowel?
0:56:26 > 0:56:28A spade?
0:56:28 > 0:56:31'Although we couldn't be sure and we couldn't get it out,
0:56:31 > 0:56:33'it felt suspiciously like the handle
0:56:33 > 0:56:35'of a long-forgotten metal detector.'
0:56:36 > 0:56:39It's definitely metal but it's not a wedding ring.
0:56:41 > 0:56:45'And so, having exhausted every option, both scientific
0:56:45 > 0:56:49'and mystical, we ruefully pack up the digger and say our thank-yous
0:56:49 > 0:56:51'to the detectorists, archaeologists,
0:56:51 > 0:56:53'scuba divers and dowser.
0:56:53 > 0:56:57'I feel disappointed but not entirely disheartened.'
0:56:57 > 0:57:01This has been an exercise in so-called findology,
0:57:01 > 0:57:03the semi-science of looking for things
0:57:03 > 0:57:06and it may appear that we've failed here
0:57:06 > 0:57:10but I don't think we have because this has been a genuine scientific
0:57:10 > 0:57:13experiment, ruthlessly pursued, and the point of an experiment,
0:57:13 > 0:57:18of course, is to get a result, to see what happens and we do have
0:57:18 > 0:57:20an unequivocal set of results
0:57:20 > 0:57:22from which we can draw a concrete conclusion.
0:57:24 > 0:57:26It's lost.
0:57:34 > 0:57:36Shall we go and get some cockles?
0:57:36 > 0:57:38Yes, come on then, let's do that.
0:57:39 > 0:57:41- Can I have a 99, Dad? - A 99?- Yeah.
0:57:41 > 0:57:45- What have you done to deserve a 99? I don't know.- I built a sandcastle.
0:57:47 > 0:57:50You see, it may not be on the beach
0:57:50 > 0:57:53but, thanks to the dowser and the Royal Motor Yacht Club of Poole,
0:57:53 > 0:57:57the tentacles of this search will now reach out all across Dorset
0:57:57 > 0:58:02and ultimately go global and I sort of think it will yet turn up.
0:58:02 > 0:58:06So now from a cause that seemed hopeless but may not be,
0:58:06 > 0:58:09we'll move on to a musical instrument
0:58:09 > 0:58:11that seemed useless but may not be.
0:58:11 > 0:58:13Here to play us out on the Theremin,
0:58:13 > 0:58:18it's Jake Rothman with Theme From Man Lab. Goodbye.
0:58:19 > 0:58:21HE PLAYS THEREMIN
0:58:33 > 0:58:36Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd