The Motorcycle Diary

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04This is a nut and this is a bolt.

0:00:04 > 0:00:07And without the nut and bolt we would be nowhere

0:00:07 > 0:00:11because nuts and bolts hold the mechanical world together.

0:00:11 > 0:00:15That's why this tiny, tiny nut

0:00:15 > 0:00:18and this tiny bolt

0:00:18 > 0:00:21are the most essential elements in the most iconic constructional toy

0:00:21 > 0:00:24of the 20th century - Meccano.

0:00:24 > 0:00:27And, if you're good at Meccano, you can make things like this,

0:00:27 > 0:00:28or this,

0:00:28 > 0:00:31or even this. And, if you have lots of Meccano,

0:00:31 > 0:00:34you could make something like this fully-operating crane.

0:00:34 > 0:00:38Or, if the amount of Meccano you have is measured in tonnes,

0:00:38 > 0:00:40you could do something like this...

0:00:40 > 0:00:45'In 2009, we built a full-sized bridge over a canal in Liverpool...'

0:00:45 > 0:00:49Behold, the Meccano bridge of no return.

0:00:49 > 0:00:51CHEERING

0:00:51 > 0:00:54'..thus proving that toy engineering could unite communities

0:00:54 > 0:00:57'and support the weight of a slightly fat bloke.'

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Hello, Liverpool!

0:00:59 > 0:01:00'This left us wondering -

0:01:00 > 0:01:04'just how far can a big box of these self-assembly components be pushed?

0:01:04 > 0:01:06'We decided to subject it

0:01:06 > 0:01:10'to the most fatiguing test of metal and mind yet devised...'

0:01:10 > 0:01:13ENGINE ROARS

0:01:13 > 0:01:16'..the TT racecourse on the Isle of Man.'

0:01:37 > 0:01:40Motorcycles have been raced around the Isle of Man

0:01:40 > 0:01:41for well over 100 years

0:01:41 > 0:01:44and, in that time, there have been many classes of racing.

0:01:44 > 0:01:47Now, in the early days, it was a simple matter

0:01:47 > 0:01:49of single-cylinder or twin-cylinder machines,

0:01:49 > 0:01:53but since then we've had lightweight, superstock, supersport,

0:01:53 > 0:01:56superbike and sidecar races.

0:01:56 > 0:02:00'There's F1, newcomers, juniors, seniors, formula classic,

0:02:00 > 0:02:03'senior post-classic, and classic superbike.

0:02:03 > 0:02:06'It's an exhaustive list that took ages to learn,

0:02:06 > 0:02:08'which is why it's in voiceover.'

0:02:08 > 0:02:12And yet, in all this time, there has never been a class for -

0:02:12 > 0:02:14or any records set by -

0:02:14 > 0:02:16a home-made motorcycle

0:02:16 > 0:02:19built from a classic constructional toy.

0:02:19 > 0:02:22Now that is a terrible oversight

0:02:22 > 0:02:26on the part of the road-racing motorcycling fraternity.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28Something has to be done.

0:02:28 > 0:02:32'This dapper chap is Sim Oakley, Toy Stories' chief engineer.

0:02:32 > 0:02:35'For the next six weeks he has been banished to his shed,

0:02:35 > 0:02:38'where his job is to conceive and build

0:02:38 > 0:02:40'a full-size, working motorcycle

0:02:40 > 0:02:42'made entirely out of this flimsy stuff.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45'Our objective?

0:02:45 > 0:02:48'To complete one lap of the Isle of Man's famous circuit.

0:02:51 > 0:02:55'It's a 200-corner blur of city streets,

0:02:55 > 0:02:58'twisting country lanes and treacherous mountain bends.

0:03:00 > 0:03:05'Get it right, and a top rider can reach speeds of over 200mph.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08'But get it wrong...'

0:03:08 > 0:03:09TYRES SCREECH

0:03:14 > 0:03:18'Thankfully, local hero Connor Cummins recovered and raced again.

0:03:18 > 0:03:22'So what drives this apparent lunacy?

0:03:22 > 0:03:24'Africa may be the cradle of mankind,

0:03:24 > 0:03:28'but the Isle of Man is the cradle of his motorcycle.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33'Since 1907, all the great names in motorcycling have been here,

0:03:33 > 0:03:37'treating the island as a testing ground for new bike technology.

0:03:39 > 0:03:40'And we plan to join them...

0:03:40 > 0:03:42'with the Meccano Mark I.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46'But first, to the pub,

0:03:46 > 0:03:49'to consider some fundamental engineering problems.'

0:03:49 > 0:03:51So will I have to sit on a...?

0:03:51 > 0:03:54I mean, what would a seat be made of? These, bent...

0:03:54 > 0:03:57I'm just going to have an arse full of nuts and bolts, aren't I?

0:03:57 > 0:03:58- SIM LAUGHS - Yeah!

0:03:58 > 0:04:01It's funny, I've done a bit of motorcycle restoration

0:04:01 > 0:04:03but when you look at all the bits you sort of think,

0:04:03 > 0:04:06"Well, yeah, that's actually a small motorcycle in bits,"

0:04:06 > 0:04:08but when you look at that...

0:04:08 > 0:04:10I can't see the motorcycle in it.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13So if we've got a whole motorcycle held together with those,

0:04:13 > 0:04:16it's going to completely disintegrate within...

0:04:16 > 0:04:17a quarter of a mile.

0:04:17 > 0:04:22- It is just designed for making table-top cranes, isn't it?- It is.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25'But hang on a second.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27'There was a time when Meccano was responsible

0:04:27 > 0:04:31'for the fledgling dreams of generations of engineers.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34'And as its inventor, Frank Hornby, would tell you -

0:04:34 > 0:04:38were he not dead - "You are limited only by your imagination

0:04:38 > 0:04:41"and the blood spouting from your fingers."

0:04:41 > 0:04:43But while building the bike is daunting enough,

0:04:43 > 0:04:46getting permission to drive around the hallowed TT circuit

0:04:46 > 0:04:48is proving even more complicated.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51What sort of thing would be in it?

0:04:51 > 0:04:53'In return for letting us ride,

0:04:53 > 0:04:56'The Isle of Man Government wants us to promote

0:04:56 > 0:04:59'the island's many attractions on the way round.'

0:04:59 > 0:05:01How are you going to do that, anyway?

0:05:01 > 0:05:04Well, I don't know cos I'd have to learn it all.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07Could I take someone else with me?

0:05:07 > 0:05:09What if I put a sidecar on it?

0:05:09 > 0:05:12A sidecar?! Really?!

0:05:13 > 0:05:14'That's settled then.

0:05:14 > 0:05:18'The bike will have a sidecar and I need a crusty historian.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21'Oz Clarke, then.

0:05:21 > 0:05:24'He has a razor-sharp relationship with relevance.'

0:05:24 > 0:05:27French cheeses. Don't trust French cheese.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29'He's bound to know a thing or two about kippers.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32'So, while Sim locks himself in the shed

0:05:32 > 0:05:34'to study a fascinating selection of tiny metal rods,

0:05:34 > 0:05:37'I head over the island to learn the circuit.'

0:05:37 > 0:05:40ENGINES ROAR

0:05:45 > 0:05:49So that's like doing 140mph past WH Smith's.

0:05:49 > 0:05:50That's how absurd it is.

0:05:50 > 0:05:53ENGINE ROAR

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Even though, obviously, he's wearing a full-face crash helmet

0:05:56 > 0:05:57and it's got a tinted visor,

0:05:57 > 0:06:00I could tell by the attitude of his head...

0:06:00 > 0:06:02ENGINE ROARS

0:06:03 > 0:06:06..what he was actually doing was going, "ARRRRRGH!"

0:06:06 > 0:06:08and then putting it back down again.

0:06:08 > 0:06:10'This isn't teaching me much,

0:06:10 > 0:06:13'apart from the perils of crossing the road during the TT.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15'So I decide to track down an expert.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20'This is multiple Manx Grand Prix winner

0:06:20 > 0:06:22'and TT champion Richard Quayle.

0:06:22 > 0:06:23'He's known as Milky

0:06:23 > 0:06:26'because he looks a bit like the Milkybar Kid...

0:06:26 > 0:06:29'although sometimes he looks more like a Crunchie.'

0:06:30 > 0:06:31- WOMAN:- Oh, Jesus!

0:06:31 > 0:06:34'He's a local lad and knows the course better than anyone.

0:06:34 > 0:06:35'Especially that bit.'

0:06:35 > 0:06:39All we want to be able to say is that we've completed the TT course.

0:06:39 > 0:06:42- We're not after a speed record, obviously.- Right.

0:06:42 > 0:06:45We don't even know if we can do it in one day -

0:06:45 > 0:06:47but we want to go all the way round.

0:06:47 > 0:06:50Right, OK, well that's quite an unusual thing really, isn't it?

0:06:50 > 0:06:52I mean, it's got to carry two people also?

0:06:52 > 0:06:54Yeah, it's got a sidecar.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56I'm going to put Oz in the sidecar, ideally. Oz Clarke.

0:06:56 > 0:06:57Oh, right.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00This is the standard reaction to news of Oz's involvement.

0:07:00 > 0:07:04Coming here as a newcomer, it takes at least three years to get to the position

0:07:04 > 0:07:07where you'll be in the position where you can finish on the podium.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09- Yeah.- It's probably best to have a sighting lap, sort of thing,

0:07:09 > 0:07:12and see what you're going to encounter.

0:07:12 > 0:07:14'Right, this is what we'll be up against.

0:07:14 > 0:07:16'From the grandstand at Douglas,

0:07:16 > 0:07:19'we immediately encounter a terrifying descent down Bray Hill

0:07:19 > 0:07:22'before braking hard for a sharp right-hander

0:07:22 > 0:07:24'at the roundabout at Quarterbridge.

0:07:25 > 0:07:29'As the bike climbs out of Douglas, inviting high-speed sections

0:07:29 > 0:07:34'give way to sudden treacherous bends with unforgiving stone walls.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36'Storming through the three-mile marker at Union Mills,

0:07:36 > 0:07:38'we head west towards Greeba Bridge

0:07:38 > 0:07:42'before the challenging twists and turns of Laurel Bank,

0:07:42 > 0:07:44'where Milky went a bit flaky.

0:07:44 > 0:07:46'At mile ten, the course heads north,

0:07:46 > 0:07:49'up the piston-bursting Creg Willey's Hill

0:07:49 > 0:07:51'before flashing through Kirk Michael village

0:07:51 > 0:07:56'and flying towards the 200mph Sulby Straight.

0:07:56 > 0:07:59'Racing through Ramsey at the 23-mile marker,

0:07:59 > 0:08:01'the bike must defeat the vertiginous climb

0:08:01 > 0:08:04'up Snaefell mountain, past the Water Works,

0:08:04 > 0:08:07'and the tyre-shredding hairpins of Gooseneck.

0:08:07 > 0:08:10'Next, the deceptive bends of the mountain section await.

0:08:10 > 0:08:13'Sheer drops and stray sheep menace the intrepid rider

0:08:13 > 0:08:17'as he zooms past Verandah, the Bungalow and Duke's Bends.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19'At 33 miles, the course descends rapidly

0:08:19 > 0:08:22'towards the right-hander at the Creg-ny-Baa Pub,

0:08:22 > 0:08:26'then races back into Douglas to reach the start/finish line -

0:08:26 > 0:08:30'37¾ miles of mental and mechanical torture.

0:08:36 > 0:08:39'Having seen the scope of what our little bike must survive,

0:08:39 > 0:08:43'I remain resolutely upbeat about our chances.'

0:08:43 > 0:08:45How do you make a brake out of Meccano?

0:08:45 > 0:08:47Do we make a little drum? It won't work!

0:08:47 > 0:08:49There's a mountain, you've got to get up it.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52How do you make the wheel bearing? How do you make the steering head?

0:08:52 > 0:08:54It's all got to work really well,

0:08:54 > 0:08:56otherwise it'll just fall apart and we'll be killed...

0:08:56 > 0:08:58at five miles an hour. And that's embarrassing.

0:08:58 > 0:09:00Me and Simmy are working on the basis of an idea

0:09:00 > 0:09:02we had last Friday in the pub.

0:09:02 > 0:09:04We don't even know if it works.

0:09:04 > 0:09:07We haven't put a single nut and bolt together yet.

0:09:07 > 0:09:08You may never see this -

0:09:08 > 0:09:10this could be a complete waste of everybody's time.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13We could get in to the shed and say, "Right, Meccano motorcycle!

0:09:13 > 0:09:17"No, actually, it's not possible. Thank you and good night."

0:09:18 > 0:09:20But while I'm having a small paddy,

0:09:20 > 0:09:23Sim is beginning to solve some of these very problems.

0:09:23 > 0:09:25Starting with the wheels.

0:09:25 > 0:09:28By assembling a sandwich of Meccano plates

0:09:28 > 0:09:30and surrounding them with ball bearings,

0:09:30 > 0:09:34he's managed to make a fully-functioning Meccano wheel bearing.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37The middle bit is going to be bolted to our frame,

0:09:37 > 0:09:41this will be bolted to the wheel and the wheel will turn.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43And, like the visionary that he is,

0:09:43 > 0:09:47he's looked at Meccano strips and seen spokes.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49That's pretty good, isn't it?

0:09:49 > 0:09:51That is half a wheel.

0:09:51 > 0:09:53Half...

0:09:53 > 0:09:55Cut in half that way, obviously.

0:09:55 > 0:09:59That's as tight as Graham Norton's face.

0:09:59 > 0:10:01'One thing Meccano doesn't make is full-size tyres,

0:10:01 > 0:10:04'so we're having to make a small concession

0:10:04 > 0:10:06'by using some from a mountain bike.

0:10:06 > 0:10:10'Now we can see if the complete wheel is fit for purpose.'

0:10:10 > 0:10:12Now, of course, we have to account for the weight of Oz Clarke.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14I haven't asked him yet if he wants to do this

0:10:14 > 0:10:16but I know he's not very busy this year.

0:10:16 > 0:10:20So we'll start off by representing a bit of Oz with this bag of potatoes.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24This can be his head.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26Now, we're using potatoes to represent Oz

0:10:26 > 0:10:29because they were the first thing that sprang to mind

0:10:29 > 0:10:31when I thought of him and also they are needed at the pub

0:10:31 > 0:10:34at the bottom of the road for today's roast.

0:10:34 > 0:10:37So, if this wheel works, the potatoes will be delivered.

0:10:37 > 0:10:38If you're in the Chequers on Sunday

0:10:38 > 0:10:40and you don't get any potatoes with your lunch,

0:10:40 > 0:10:43it's because it doesn't work. It's that simple.

0:10:43 > 0:10:45- Ready?- Ready.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Keep your eye on it.

0:10:47 > 0:10:49- Now the...- Sorry.

0:10:49 > 0:10:53The total weight on this wheel now - ignoring the wheelbarrow itself -

0:10:53 > 0:10:57is me, 85 kilograms, plus 20 kilograms of spuds.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59So that's 105.

0:10:59 > 0:11:01If we've got Oz on board - he weighs a bit less than me -

0:11:01 > 0:11:04there's going to be about 160 kilograms of person.

0:11:04 > 0:11:05Speed hump!

0:11:07 > 0:11:09- Ooh!- Oh, it's good at that!

0:11:09 > 0:11:12'This is just a collection of half-inch metal strips

0:11:12 > 0:11:15'with over 400 tiny bolts holding them together.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18'There's more air than wheel here and yet, arranged like this,

0:11:18 > 0:11:22'it'll carry me and Mr Potato Head with no flexing whatsoever.'

0:11:22 > 0:11:25That is me and Oz Clarke on one Meccano wheel,

0:11:25 > 0:11:27except that Oz isn't saying anything.

0:11:27 > 0:11:29I like this version of Oz.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32'This is 70 kilograms - a full metric Clarke -

0:11:32 > 0:11:34'plus me, on one wheel.

0:11:34 > 0:11:38'On the actual bike, we're going to have three.'

0:11:38 > 0:11:39- James!- What?- The pub's shut.

0:11:41 > 0:11:42You're kidding.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44Oh, it's only quarter to ten.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46JAMES LAUGHS

0:11:46 > 0:11:49That is magnificent, Sim.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51Everything about that is perfect -

0:11:51 > 0:11:53the tyre stays up, the spokes are strong enough,

0:11:53 > 0:11:55the bearing's good enough.

0:11:55 > 0:11:57So what about the rest of the bike then?

0:11:57 > 0:11:59Let's get to it.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01Wheels are a good start.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04But a motorcycle will have an engine to drive the one at the back,

0:12:04 > 0:12:06which means we'll need a Meccano chain.

0:12:06 > 0:12:10You can see the basic elements of it - the rollers down the middle,

0:12:10 > 0:12:14the plates either side, and then the rivets that hold it all together.

0:12:14 > 0:12:17We're going to replicate that in Meccano.

0:12:17 > 0:12:20'This is like transcribing the Bible with Letraset.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23'Each one of the 180 links we need

0:12:23 > 0:12:25'is made from ten separate Meccano pieces,

0:12:25 > 0:12:30'and they all have to be minutely modified before assembly.'

0:12:30 > 0:12:34That only took about four hours, so we're doing well.

0:12:34 > 0:12:38'Like a real chain, it must be made to extremely tight tolerances

0:12:38 > 0:12:40'if it's to run smoothly on the drive cog,

0:12:40 > 0:12:43'or sprocket, as it's properly known.

0:12:43 > 0:12:46'Too tight and it will seize and destroy the engine.

0:12:46 > 0:12:50'Too loose and it will jump off the sprocket and mangle the wheel.

0:12:50 > 0:12:52'Soon, the tiny bolts start driving us nuts.'

0:12:52 > 0:12:55The sharp end of the hardened spring steel pin

0:12:55 > 0:12:57tends to mangle the plate,

0:12:57 > 0:12:59but if I give it a gentle squeeze with a needle nose

0:12:59 > 0:13:01and then I tap it in.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03Obviously, I can no longer squeeze the pins

0:13:03 > 0:13:06and there's a tendency for the plate to get chopped.

0:13:06 > 0:13:11'Once the chain is complete, we're left with just one big problem.

0:13:11 > 0:13:15'The thing that makes this motorcycle not a mere bicycle.

0:13:15 > 0:13:17'The engine.

0:13:17 > 0:13:21'Now, the standard Meccano electric motor develops 0.0025 BHP -

0:13:21 > 0:13:24'the equivalent pulling power of me in a night club.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26'But Sim's come up with a revolutionary system

0:13:26 > 0:13:30'of making dozens work in harmony to produce the power we need.'

0:13:30 > 0:13:33Right, you join us at a very exciting moment.

0:13:33 > 0:13:37These are our motor clusters, there are 16 in each cluster,

0:13:37 > 0:13:39three clusters on each side.

0:13:39 > 0:13:43They form the Meccano engine. We're about to test run it.

0:13:43 > 0:13:45I'll give you...three volts.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47MOTORS WHIRR

0:13:49 > 0:13:50That's three volts.

0:13:52 > 0:13:54That is quite fantastic.

0:13:54 > 0:13:58'Simmy's six-cluster engine is as ingenious as it is complex.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00'The clusters combine to turn the main shaft

0:14:00 > 0:14:04'via multiple miniature Meccano chains.

0:14:04 > 0:14:06'The front sprocket then sends raw power

0:14:06 > 0:14:10'via our full-size Meccano bike chain to the back wheel.

0:14:11 > 0:14:14'Yes, Meccano is just a toy.

0:14:14 > 0:14:16'But look at this. It's art.'

0:14:18 > 0:14:20- Give it a bit more beans. - All right.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23JAMES LAUGHS

0:14:26 > 0:14:28Now that I'm... Just in...

0:14:29 > 0:14:32I was just going to say, "Just in case all the chains snap."

0:14:32 > 0:14:34Whoever designed that little motor

0:14:34 > 0:14:37can't possibly have imagined it would be used in this way.

0:14:38 > 0:14:41'It's amazing, but behind schedule.

0:14:41 > 0:14:45'By the time we ship our Meccano creation over to the Isle of Man,

0:14:45 > 0:14:48'we're still not sure if it's actually going to work.

0:14:48 > 0:14:51'With race day looming, Simmy and his team set up shop

0:14:51 > 0:14:55'in the local college to make frantic finishing touches.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57'And there's still one vital, full-size

0:14:57 > 0:15:00'but thankfully simple component missing.

0:15:01 > 0:15:04'Our minister for tourism - Oz Clarke.'

0:15:04 > 0:15:07MUSIC: "Bad To The Bone" by George Thorogood

0:15:10 > 0:15:14Right, Oz, here it is, the big reveal of the all-Meccano motorcycle

0:15:14 > 0:15:18that we will ride round the 37¾-mile TT course.

0:15:18 > 0:15:23'Our stirring music is playing, our crap smoke machine is sputtering.

0:15:23 > 0:15:25'It's time to reveal the machine that'll win us

0:15:25 > 0:15:27'our very own Tourist Trophy.'

0:15:27 > 0:15:30ROUSING MUSIC

0:15:30 > 0:15:32And here it comes now.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38Good God.

0:15:38 > 0:15:39And it works?

0:15:39 > 0:15:41We think so.

0:15:41 > 0:15:43Unbelievable.

0:15:43 > 0:15:45'As I teach Oz the intricate and technical

0:15:45 > 0:15:47'arse-first technique for getting in,

0:15:47 > 0:15:51'it seems that, for the first time, our bike is truly complete.'

0:15:55 > 0:15:57How fast will it go?

0:15:57 > 0:15:58Well, to be brutally honest -

0:15:58 > 0:16:01this isn't making it up for television -

0:16:01 > 0:16:02we haven't tried it yet.

0:16:02 > 0:16:04It's only been the length of the workshop.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07- It's got to go round the TT circuit and you haven't tried it?- Yeah.

0:16:07 > 0:16:10You weren't doing anything for the rest of the week, were you?

0:16:10 > 0:16:13'And so with my sidecar sommelier impressed

0:16:13 > 0:16:16'and our bike ready to go, we turn in for the night.

0:16:16 > 0:16:19'Tomorrow, we race.'

0:16:19 > 0:16:21MUSIC: "All Right Now" by Free

0:16:21 > 0:16:22'Grand Prix day.

0:16:22 > 0:16:26'We should be down in the paddock, prepping for our 4:30pm start.

0:16:26 > 0:16:27'But, well...

0:16:28 > 0:16:30'..we're not.'

0:16:30 > 0:16:36Last night, during a bit of late-night testing by Simon and Simmy, the motorcycle...

0:16:36 > 0:16:38collapsed.

0:16:38 > 0:16:40'When testing our bike's stopping ability,

0:16:40 > 0:16:44'the front brake gripped the flimsy Meccano wheels so hard

0:16:44 > 0:16:46'that the whole thing folded in on itself.'

0:16:46 > 0:16:49That used to be part of the front forks.

0:16:49 > 0:16:50That, in fact, is a bit I did -

0:16:50 > 0:16:52that's the front brake calliper mount.

0:16:52 > 0:16:53That's all mangled and gone,

0:16:53 > 0:16:56the front wheel was completely mangled and collapsed -

0:16:56 > 0:16:58all that's had to be done again.

0:16:58 > 0:17:02Thousands and thousands of nuts and bolts and components,

0:17:02 > 0:17:04the equivalent of, what? Three days' work?

0:17:04 > 0:17:06Pretty much three days' work.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10And it did all that damage?

0:17:10 > 0:17:14But it's weak. Look, it's just weak, it's rubbish.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16It's just rubbish!

0:17:18 > 0:17:22'Simmy and Simon have been up all night, trying to fix the damage

0:17:22 > 0:17:25'but, as they race to rebuild and reinforce the wheels,

0:17:25 > 0:17:27'we learn that the Isle of Man Government

0:17:27 > 0:17:31'is insisting that the bike must take a real MOT test

0:17:31 > 0:17:33'to check that it's safe to go on the course.

0:17:35 > 0:17:38'With just hours to go before the start, we haul our untested rework

0:17:38 > 0:17:43'down to the Mot centre and try not to pace about nervously.'

0:17:45 > 0:17:47Anything?

0:17:47 > 0:17:48Not yet.

0:17:49 > 0:17:54The tester's taken a few steps back, he's shaking his head slightly.

0:17:54 > 0:17:56It doesn't mean anything.

0:17:56 > 0:17:57I hate this.

0:17:57 > 0:18:01It's like sitting outside the X-ray place in the hospital.

0:18:01 > 0:18:05'After what seems like hours, I'm called inside.'

0:18:05 > 0:18:08- Well, it's all good.- Is it?

0:18:08 > 0:18:10Well, there's a few minor little tweaks here and there

0:18:10 > 0:18:12but, mechanically, it's all right.

0:18:12 > 0:18:13Fantastic.

0:18:13 > 0:18:17So what that means, viewers, is this...

0:18:18 > 0:18:22..is now not merely a decoration, this will always wear that

0:18:22 > 0:18:25and it will always be roadworthy here. That's right, isn't it?

0:18:25 > 0:18:27It will always be roadworthy in the Isle of Man?

0:18:27 > 0:18:28In the Isle of Man. That's right, yeah.

0:18:28 > 0:18:32'We decide to leave quickly, before they realise their mistake.'

0:18:34 > 0:18:36There you go, James.

0:18:36 > 0:18:39There's your certificate of approval for your Meccano motorbike.

0:18:39 > 0:18:41Thank you very much, sir.

0:18:41 > 0:18:42OK. Thank you.

0:18:43 > 0:18:44Look at that.

0:18:46 > 0:18:48Oz and I are legal.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53That sounds like we've had one of those new-fangled male marriages, doesn't it?

0:18:53 > 0:18:57I don't mean that, I mean we're allowed to ride this on the road.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00'Right, let's try that again, shall we?

0:19:00 > 0:19:03'With just a couple of hours to go, we dash down to the grandstand,

0:19:03 > 0:19:06'where the gathering crowds are already rabid with anticipation.'

0:19:06 > 0:19:11I mean, he's not seriously going to ride the thing round, is he?

0:19:11 > 0:19:14I think it's going to go over Ballaugh Bridge and land

0:19:14 > 0:19:16and just disintegrate.

0:19:16 > 0:19:18I think the wheels will fall apart very quickly.

0:19:18 > 0:19:19He won't make the first hill.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21'Everywhere you look,

0:19:21 > 0:19:24'there are signs of professional and meticulous preparation.'

0:19:25 > 0:19:28'Over at our own tent, I take Oz through the map.'

0:19:28 > 0:19:30We're starting off with the roads closed

0:19:30 > 0:19:32but given that I'm fairly confident

0:19:32 > 0:19:35this is going to take us at least half a day,

0:19:35 > 0:19:38the roads will open again, so we do have to keep a look out for people.

0:19:38 > 0:19:41By sunset, hopefully, we're about here?

0:19:41 > 0:19:43Well, ideally, yes.

0:19:43 > 0:19:46'I hope he's right, because we've been given a very tight window

0:19:46 > 0:19:48'in which to make the attempt.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50'Leaving straight after this practice session,

0:19:50 > 0:19:53'we must finish before the Grand Prix

0:19:53 > 0:19:55'gets underway 40 hours later, 'on Friday morning.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58'But, as bikes are banned from racing at night,

0:19:58 > 0:20:01'we've actually only got 18 hours of daylight

0:20:01 > 0:20:03'to complete the whole circuit.

0:20:04 > 0:20:06'Back in the paddock with an hour to go,

0:20:06 > 0:20:08'Will, our cameraman,

0:20:08 > 0:20:10'is trying to make our bike look like the height of cool

0:20:10 > 0:20:13'in our slightly grubby white tent,

0:20:13 > 0:20:14'when this suddenly happens.'

0:20:23 > 0:20:26'With practice postponed, the whole schedule has changed.

0:20:26 > 0:20:28'The officials make it very clear

0:20:28 > 0:20:31'that if we don't set off this second, we'll lose our slot.

0:20:31 > 0:20:34- TANNOY:- 'All unauthorised personnel, please keep off the road.'

0:20:38 > 0:20:39OK.

0:20:39 > 0:20:42'As the crew grab Oz and scramble to set up cameras,

0:20:42 > 0:20:47'I realise we haven't even had time to test the new brakes properly.'

0:20:47 > 0:20:52If we can't stop, for example, the sign for that from me

0:20:52 > 0:20:54is me cutting my throat with my index finger.

0:20:54 > 0:20:56Crucial.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58'Any mental preparation I'd been hoping to do

0:20:58 > 0:20:59'is forced out of the window

0:20:59 > 0:21:03'as we're shoved out in front of an expectant, waiting crowd.'

0:21:09 > 0:21:10'We're simply not ready.

0:21:10 > 0:21:14'We have no idea what will happen when we switch this thing on.'

0:21:26 > 0:21:27Here we go.

0:21:30 > 0:21:31'It hasn't worked.'

0:21:31 > 0:21:33JEERING

0:21:39 > 0:21:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:21:41 > 0:21:43What do we think of that?

0:21:46 > 0:21:50Look at that. Look at that.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53All ye mockers, look at us now.

0:21:53 > 0:21:58'This is the single slowest GP start in the history of the island.

0:21:58 > 0:22:02'But, for my money at least, it's up there with the most triumphant.'

0:22:02 > 0:22:04As John F Kennedy said,

0:22:04 > 0:22:08"Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly."

0:22:09 > 0:22:10- Is that what he said?- Yeah.

0:22:10 > 0:22:14'All those weeks, 15,000 pieces of Meccano,

0:22:14 > 0:22:18'all of it's come together in one glorious paean to speed.'

0:22:27 > 0:22:29Check the chains, Oz, are they all still on?

0:22:29 > 0:22:33Er...they're all going round, so they must all be still on.

0:22:33 > 0:22:35Ah!

0:22:35 > 0:22:38'As we finally leave the grandstand, the Works Meccano

0:22:38 > 0:22:42'prepares to take its rightful place in the pantheon of racing legends.'

0:22:42 > 0:22:44MUSIC: "Road To Nowhere" by Talking Heads

0:22:44 > 0:22:47This is tremendous. It works!

0:22:47 > 0:22:50# We're on a road to nowhere... #

0:22:50 > 0:22:51JAMES LAUGHS

0:22:51 > 0:22:53# Come on inside... #

0:22:53 > 0:22:57'We flash along like a silvery Meccano mackerel.

0:22:57 > 0:23:00'But coming up fast is our first major challenge -

0:23:00 > 0:23:03'Bray Hill, a half-mile descent followed by a steep climb

0:23:03 > 0:23:07'that will test our brakes, and then our engine, to their limits.'

0:23:09 > 0:23:11Now this is a hill, James.

0:23:11 > 0:23:12Has this thing done a hill before?

0:23:12 > 0:23:14Not like this, it hasn't.

0:23:14 > 0:23:16So this is the road test of the hill, is it?

0:23:16 > 0:23:18I'm going to check the brakes.

0:23:18 > 0:23:21- OMINOUS CREAKING AND GRINDING - Oh, my God.

0:23:21 > 0:23:24- Is that the brake pads?- Yeah.

0:23:24 > 0:23:25CAR HORN HONKS

0:23:25 > 0:23:27The brakes are pretty feeble. Oh!

0:23:27 > 0:23:29'These boots cost a few bob.

0:23:29 > 0:23:32'But they're better brakes than the ones on the bike.

0:23:32 > 0:23:33'It's not an auspicious start

0:23:33 > 0:23:37'and we've still got the much tougher uphill bit to come.'

0:23:37 > 0:23:38Thank you.

0:23:38 > 0:23:42- OK, now, a nice uphill... - Not sure I can manage this.

0:23:42 > 0:23:44Oh, I missed. Thank you.

0:23:44 > 0:23:46Slightly uneven on this side, James.

0:23:46 > 0:23:49I'm going to go towards the middle a bit, the equal camber.

0:23:49 > 0:23:52Speedometer's failed.

0:23:52 > 0:23:53Afternoon.

0:23:53 > 0:23:57'Simmy's plucky Meccano motor is giving it everything it's got

0:23:57 > 0:23:59'but it's only just enough.

0:23:59 > 0:24:01'It's already groaning under the pressure

0:24:01 > 0:24:03'and this is only the first hill.'

0:24:03 > 0:24:06I wonder if it's just worth checking to reassure ourselves -

0:24:06 > 0:24:07I'd hate to break it.

0:24:13 > 0:24:18- Right, Oz.- Yeah?- That sort of hill is far too steep for Meccano power.

0:24:18 > 0:24:22So we're going to go on to Plan B - buggy power.

0:24:22 > 0:24:26'To explain Plan B, here's something we made earlier.'

0:24:26 > 0:24:28If this bit's made it on to your television,

0:24:28 > 0:24:31it must mean we've got to a hill and we've come across a problem

0:24:31 > 0:24:35with the power of our Meccano motor array.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37We've come up with this.

0:24:37 > 0:24:41It is our second motor, which is the one from a golf buggy.

0:24:41 > 0:24:44Now you're all going to cry, "Cheat! That's not Meccano!"

0:24:44 > 0:24:46But this isn't without precedent, actually

0:24:46 > 0:24:48because Meccano themselves told us

0:24:48 > 0:24:50that when they make a big exhibition model -

0:24:50 > 0:24:52a giant windmill or a giant crane or something -

0:24:52 > 0:24:56they often use something like the motor from a golf buggy

0:24:56 > 0:24:58or a washing machine or even an electric drill

0:24:58 > 0:25:00because they don't make an electric motor big enough.

0:25:00 > 0:25:03They only make these puny little things.

0:25:03 > 0:25:07So this is going to drive the same rear sprocket with a Meccano chain

0:25:07 > 0:25:09to take us up the hills and then, back on the flat and the level,

0:25:09 > 0:25:14we shall revert to pure Meccano power.

0:25:14 > 0:25:17'With our exhibition-sized unit backing up Simmy's engine,

0:25:17 > 0:25:20'we start flying along at almost seven miles an hour!'

0:25:20 > 0:25:24Right, here we go, Oz. Here's our first big bend - it's Quarterbridge.

0:25:24 > 0:25:26I'm adding power.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:28 > 0:25:29Thank you.

0:25:30 > 0:25:32I think this is extremely relaxing.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34CAR HORN HONKS

0:25:34 > 0:25:39'As we eat up the mile, Oz starts regurgitating random facts.'

0:25:39 > 0:25:41We've just passed Braddan Bridge.

0:25:41 > 0:25:43There are two things about Braddan Bridge.

0:25:43 > 0:25:45One, it's very close to one of the breweries on the island,

0:25:45 > 0:25:47which I think is important.

0:25:47 > 0:25:50And, secondly, Kirk Braddan is the open-air church

0:25:50 > 0:25:56where up to 30,000 people go and worship at Kirk Braddan.

0:25:56 > 0:26:00St Braddan is the patron saint of voyagers.

0:26:00 > 0:26:02- Is that right? - So we ought to just say,

0:26:02 > 0:26:05"Thank you, St Braddan, for how far we've got."

0:26:05 > 0:26:09'Thanks are duly offered but, only a few metres up the road,

0:26:09 > 0:26:13'it becomes clear that St Braddan really hates Meccano.'

0:26:13 > 0:26:15I think the wheel is starting to go crooked.

0:26:15 > 0:26:17Yeah, it is. We've broken.

0:26:17 > 0:26:20We've lost the beading off the back wheel, chaps.

0:26:20 > 0:26:22- The outside beading has come off. - Yep.

0:26:22 > 0:26:24'We've only been riding for an hour

0:26:24 > 0:26:28'but the circuit is already taking an ominous toll on our bike.

0:26:28 > 0:26:29'We can't risk further damage,

0:26:29 > 0:26:33'so we have to move to an adjacent car park for an emergency pit stop.'

0:26:35 > 0:26:38The problem, at two miles in -

0:26:38 > 0:26:42the tyre is held in position by these one-by-one angle plates

0:26:42 > 0:26:44and they're not strong enough - they bend outwards.

0:26:44 > 0:26:46So we have to double them up.

0:26:46 > 0:26:51Doubling them up means sawing two-by-two angle plates in half

0:26:51 > 0:26:53cos we haven't got any of the right ones left,

0:26:53 > 0:26:57peeling the tyre off, undoing all those nuts and bolts,

0:26:57 > 0:27:00adding the new bit, re-tightening them,

0:27:00 > 0:27:03moving on, we've had to make marks so we know where we've got to.

0:27:03 > 0:27:07It's fantastically, painfully fiddly.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09And we hate Meccano.

0:27:09 > 0:27:12'Strengthening the wheel is not only time-consuming

0:27:12 > 0:27:16'but is using a large chunk of our limited supply of spare Meccano.

0:27:16 > 0:27:20'But ignoring the problem would be risking disaster.'

0:27:20 > 0:27:23Within 20 yards, we'd stopped to make sure we don't do any damage.

0:27:23 > 0:27:26- So long as we don't do any damage... - You've got a long way to go!

0:27:26 > 0:27:28A quick repair and off we go again.

0:27:28 > 0:27:29It's only 35 miles left.

0:27:29 > 0:27:32- It's only 35 miles left and we have to make it.- Yes.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34'This sort of thing took long enough in Simmy's shed

0:27:34 > 0:27:37'but here, remaking the wheel on the fly

0:27:37 > 0:27:40'ends up costing us three hours of precious race time.'

0:27:41 > 0:27:43Has Oz gone to pub?

0:27:43 > 0:27:44Has he? Seriously?

0:27:51 > 0:27:53That's just insulting.

0:27:53 > 0:27:55'Finally, the bike is ready

0:27:55 > 0:27:58'and we take the bike back to where it broke down.

0:27:58 > 0:28:01'Meanwhile, Oz, having thoroughly road tested the local beers,

0:28:01 > 0:28:04'moves on to another of the island's hidden treasures.'

0:28:04 > 0:28:08Not a local landmark, a global landmark. A landlark...

0:28:08 > 0:28:09A landlark?

0:28:09 > 0:28:11This landmark, this local lang...

0:28:13 > 0:28:16"The Bee Gees family connection

0:28:16 > 0:28:19"with the Union Mills Post Office."

0:28:19 > 0:28:23Is this where Barry bought his Premium Bonds?

0:28:23 > 0:28:27'I arrive in time to save us from the worst tourist information film

0:28:27 > 0:28:29'since Oliver Reed Does Legoland.

0:28:29 > 0:28:32'But the spirit of Barry returns at the next hill.

0:28:32 > 0:28:35'The engine's gone and I can't go on.'

0:28:35 > 0:28:37We haven't got enough juice for the hill.

0:28:37 > 0:28:39HORNS HONK

0:28:39 > 0:28:41- Are you doing this on purpose? - No, I'm not.

0:28:41 > 0:28:42This is a bit baffling

0:28:42 > 0:28:45because, according to my battery condition meter,

0:28:45 > 0:28:47we've still got half of our juice left

0:28:47 > 0:28:50but it wouldn't quite go up that hill with us both on

0:28:50 > 0:28:53and, towards the end, not even with just me on.

0:28:53 > 0:28:55Which doesn't sound quite right

0:28:55 > 0:28:57because this motor and this battery arrangement

0:28:57 > 0:29:00should power a golf buggy, as I said earlier,

0:29:00 > 0:29:03with six colonial golfists on.

0:29:03 > 0:29:07'We check everything but the mystery problem remains.

0:29:07 > 0:29:11'We're nearing the end of day one and we've only covered three miles -

0:29:11 > 0:29:13'a twelfth of the total course.

0:29:15 > 0:29:17'As the bike limps and stutters onwards,

0:29:17 > 0:29:21'we have no choice but to make plans to camp out.'

0:29:21 > 0:29:23Right, what's the time, Mr Clarke?

0:29:23 > 0:29:26Er... Oh, 7:20.

0:29:26 > 0:29:28Right, it's going to get dark fairly soon

0:29:28 > 0:29:31and we're not allowed to ride this at night,

0:29:31 > 0:29:33so we're going to have to stop somewhere.

0:29:33 > 0:29:35See, it doesn't like these hills.

0:29:37 > 0:29:40Oh, actually, this is as fast as it can go, is it?

0:29:40 > 0:29:42It's going to stop.

0:29:42 > 0:29:44- Do you want me off?- Yeah.

0:29:44 > 0:29:45OK, one sec.

0:29:49 > 0:29:50OK.

0:29:52 > 0:29:55Can you jog ahead and find a campsite for us,

0:29:55 > 0:29:58or a suitable camping location?

0:29:58 > 0:30:00- Are you serious?- Yeah.

0:30:00 > 0:30:01Stalk ahead?

0:30:01 > 0:30:04Yeah, well, you're not going to have to go very fast.

0:30:04 > 0:30:08'So, much to the relief of the four-mile queue of traffic behind us,

0:30:08 > 0:30:10'we have no choice but to stop everything,

0:30:10 > 0:30:14'cart the bike to a nearby field, and set up Base Camp Meccano.'

0:30:19 > 0:30:23We've done three miles out of over 37.

0:30:23 > 0:30:25Well... We've tried.

0:30:25 > 0:30:27Yeah, I know, but that's...

0:30:27 > 0:30:29We haven't done it - we've got 34 miles to do tomorrow

0:30:29 > 0:30:31and then the race starts.

0:30:31 > 0:30:33We've got until sunset tomorrow to get to the end,

0:30:33 > 0:30:35otherwise we have to come back next year.

0:30:35 > 0:30:39'This was not the glorious first day of racing I was hoping for.

0:30:43 > 0:30:45'The local scouts hear about our plight

0:30:45 > 0:30:48'and kindly offer to sort us out with a tent and some grub.

0:30:50 > 0:30:52'But we barely notice as the tent goes up

0:30:52 > 0:30:54'and the sun goes down -

0:30:54 > 0:30:57'all our focus is on the bike.

0:30:57 > 0:31:00'We've even called in Milky to take a look at it.

0:31:00 > 0:31:04'The mystery problem is that our rear wheel sprocket is too big.

0:31:04 > 0:31:07'It's like driving a car and being stuck in top gear.

0:31:08 > 0:31:11'Machining a new sprocket out of Meccano

0:31:11 > 0:31:12'is a precision engineering job.

0:31:12 > 0:31:15'Not something you can easily knock up in a field.

0:31:18 > 0:31:21'There's no choice but for Simmy and Simon to take the bike

0:31:21 > 0:31:24'back to the workshop for overnight emergency repairs.'

0:31:26 > 0:31:28- Thank you. - All right? Come on, then, guys.

0:31:28 > 0:31:29Cheers, chaps.

0:31:32 > 0:31:33I really would love a beer.

0:31:33 > 0:31:35So would I.

0:31:35 > 0:31:36Thank you.

0:31:38 > 0:31:39Lovely.

0:31:40 > 0:31:42Where's the bottle opener?

0:31:42 > 0:31:43What?

0:31:43 > 0:31:46Where's the bottle opener? Have you got a bottle opener?

0:31:51 > 0:31:53You haven't brought a bottle opener?

0:31:53 > 0:31:55Haven't you got one on you? A Swiss knife?

0:31:55 > 0:31:58Well, I do normally, to be honest, but...

0:31:58 > 0:32:01We'll think of something. Let's get this going, cos I'm freezing.

0:32:07 > 0:32:09OWL HOOTS

0:32:11 > 0:32:13Ow!

0:32:14 > 0:32:16This kindling's damp.

0:32:17 > 0:32:19Pretty much everything is damp here.

0:32:19 > 0:32:20Here we go.

0:32:26 > 0:32:28You could put the cardboard face-upward like that...?

0:32:28 > 0:32:30That's gone out.

0:32:31 > 0:32:33Hang on a minute. Let's think about this.

0:32:33 > 0:32:36What would one of those proper survivalist blokes do?

0:32:36 > 0:32:37Someone like Bear Grylls.

0:32:46 > 0:32:50'We return to the bike at 6am, raring to go.

0:32:50 > 0:32:53'Thanks to the overnight efforts of Mr Simmy Oakley,

0:32:53 > 0:32:55'we're off to a flying start.'

0:32:55 > 0:32:58Well, this is brilliant.

0:32:58 > 0:32:59With my new sprocket,

0:32:59 > 0:33:02the Manx Oakley takes off like a stabbed rat.

0:33:02 > 0:33:05'I've told Oz to continue his voyage of cultural exploration on foot

0:33:05 > 0:33:09'and to bring me back some local delicacies for lunch.

0:33:09 > 0:33:11'I'm sorry he's missing all the fun

0:33:11 > 0:33:14'but today is all about less weight, more speed.

0:33:14 > 0:33:16'There's a lot of catching up to do

0:33:16 > 0:33:20'and the rush hour traffic to contend with.'

0:33:20 > 0:33:22Oh, thank you(!)

0:33:24 > 0:33:26Think bike.

0:33:26 > 0:33:28Think Meccano biker.

0:33:28 > 0:33:30'The vacant sidecar is like an empty bar stool

0:33:30 > 0:33:32'in a Spitfire squadron's mess.

0:33:32 > 0:33:34'But the bike IS going better.'

0:33:35 > 0:33:36This is going so well,

0:33:36 > 0:33:39I think we can allow ourselves some Steppenwolf.

0:33:41 > 0:33:43Come on, you knew it was going to happen eventually.

0:33:43 > 0:33:45Let's just get it over with.

0:33:45 > 0:33:48MUSIC: "Born To Be Wild" by Steppenwolf

0:33:52 > 0:33:54- MUSIC STOPS - 'Right, that's your lot.'

0:33:56 > 0:33:59Come on. Speed up, tracking car, we're putting in a hot lap here.

0:34:03 > 0:34:05Look at it go up this hill!

0:34:06 > 0:34:08Five miles!

0:34:08 > 0:34:11Five miles, ladies and gentlemen.

0:34:11 > 0:34:12We'll be back in Douglas for lunch.

0:34:14 > 0:34:18'By 8am we've already covered as much ground as we did yesterday.'

0:34:18 > 0:34:20Coming up to seven miles.

0:34:22 > 0:34:23Look at this thing go!

0:34:24 > 0:34:27It's Meccano, let's not forget that.

0:34:27 > 0:34:30'Blazing through the beautiful Isle of Man scenery,

0:34:30 > 0:34:33'dotted with examples of ancient torture equipment,

0:34:33 > 0:34:35'I'm starting to enjoy the high-octane,

0:34:35 > 0:34:38'thrill-seeking lifestyle of the racing motorcyclist.'

0:34:38 > 0:34:40Down a gear... Brrmmmm!

0:34:40 > 0:34:43Climb over the bike, push it in and then back on the power. Meeem!

0:34:43 > 0:34:45There, I've wrestled it through the bend

0:34:45 > 0:34:47Oh! Manhole cover!

0:34:48 > 0:34:50'Meanwhile, many miles across the island...'

0:34:52 > 0:34:56- OK, Oz?- This is such a delight for me, I can't tell you.

0:34:57 > 0:35:01TRAIN WHISTLE BLARES

0:35:02 > 0:35:05I think James has got this all wrong.

0:35:05 > 0:35:07We should be doing a steam train tour

0:35:07 > 0:35:09all the way round the Isle of Man.

0:35:09 > 0:35:11In fact, we could have done in the old days.

0:35:11 > 0:35:13This is the only steam train line left.

0:35:13 > 0:35:15You used to be able to go right the way round...

0:35:15 > 0:35:19Frankly, following the TT track most of the time.

0:35:19 > 0:35:21James could have done what he likes with his bicycle -

0:35:21 > 0:35:23I'll be on the steam train.

0:35:24 > 0:35:27'Meanwhile, back on the bike, there's no room for complacency,

0:35:27 > 0:35:29'as I'm approaching the very spot

0:35:29 > 0:35:32'where even TT champions can get it very wrong.'

0:35:33 > 0:35:35Right, we're just coming in to Laurel -

0:35:35 > 0:35:37this is where Milky binned it.

0:35:37 > 0:35:39I think he...

0:35:39 > 0:35:41struck his shoulder on that wall

0:35:41 > 0:35:44and then flew in to that so... a bit of care.

0:35:46 > 0:35:48Are you watching, Richard "Milky" Quayle?

0:35:50 > 0:35:51That's how you do it.

0:35:53 > 0:35:56'But as soon as we start the long ascent up Creg Willey's Hill...'

0:35:56 > 0:35:58Ooh, this is steep.

0:36:00 > 0:36:02Oh, come on, mate.

0:36:06 > 0:36:08Feather the power.

0:36:08 > 0:36:11Oh, I'm not sure it's going to do it.

0:36:11 > 0:36:15'Having been fine all morning, the bike suddenly slows to a crawl,

0:36:15 > 0:36:19'until finally it stops entirely.'

0:36:20 > 0:36:22I'm moving again now.

0:36:33 > 0:36:35I do need to talk to Sim about this a bit, I think.

0:36:38 > 0:36:41I'm having to let the battery recover a bit -

0:36:41 > 0:36:44it's getting a bit low - but this is moving under its own power.

0:36:44 > 0:36:45I'm not pushing it,

0:36:45 > 0:36:49I'm merely steering it and operating the thumb throttle.

0:36:50 > 0:36:52'Having made such a good start to the day,

0:36:52 > 0:36:56'we're convinced that we're only dealing with a flat battery.'

0:36:57 > 0:37:00All motorcycles benefit from regular servicing

0:37:00 > 0:37:02at prescribed service intervals.

0:37:02 > 0:37:04This is no different, it's just the service intervals on this bike

0:37:04 > 0:37:08are sort of 20 minutes or two miles.

0:37:11 > 0:37:12It'll be fine.

0:37:14 > 0:37:16'But as my pit crew examine the bike,

0:37:16 > 0:37:20'Simon finds a tiny tell-tale piece of broken Meccano.

0:37:20 > 0:37:23'It's not the batteries letting us down

0:37:23 > 0:37:25'but that Meccano wheel bearing,

0:37:25 > 0:37:27'and it's almost completely shot.'

0:37:30 > 0:37:32If you have any knowledge of wheel design at all,

0:37:32 > 0:37:35you should know that it's not supposed to move that way,

0:37:35 > 0:37:37it's only supposed to go round and round.

0:37:37 > 0:37:41The problem is that we've already worn that home-made bearing out.

0:37:42 > 0:37:46At about... What have we done? ..11 miles.

0:37:46 > 0:37:49And that is a tricky job because you can't just drop the wheel out

0:37:49 > 0:37:53like you can on a normal bicycle or motorcycle - it's all...

0:37:53 > 0:37:55part of the Meccano-ness of the thing.

0:37:57 > 0:37:58What can we do?

0:38:00 > 0:38:03- I thought they would be fine. - I did as well.

0:38:04 > 0:38:07I think we have to mend it because if we keep going

0:38:07 > 0:38:10until it completely mangles, it'll destroy the wheel as well

0:38:10 > 0:38:13and we definitely can't build another one of those.

0:38:13 > 0:38:15It's... It's a few hours' work, that.

0:38:15 > 0:38:17It is.

0:38:20 > 0:38:22There will now be a short intermission.

0:38:23 > 0:38:25'Oh, clock.'

0:38:25 > 0:38:26CLOCK TICKS

0:38:26 > 0:38:30'A few miles back down the road, we find a man called Tom,

0:38:30 > 0:38:34'who runs the only motorbike and clock repair shop on the island.

0:38:34 > 0:38:36'Well, most likely the world.'

0:38:36 > 0:38:38- 17 and a half?- 17 and a half.

0:38:38 > 0:38:39I've marked it anyway.

0:38:39 > 0:38:41'It's a frustrating process.

0:38:41 > 0:38:43'We've completely run out of spares

0:38:43 > 0:38:46'and we're forced to make our own replacement Meccano from scratch.'

0:38:46 > 0:38:49We can always make it smaller but we can't make it bigger again,

0:38:49 > 0:38:50that's the rule.

0:38:52 > 0:38:54'It seems absolutely barking mad

0:38:54 > 0:38:57'to be taking pieces of sturdy, dependable metal

0:38:57 > 0:39:01'and deliberately turning them in to a flimsy toy.'

0:39:01 > 0:39:03OK, so it's 17.5 and 13...

0:39:03 > 0:39:07'But it's all in the true spirit of Meccano.

0:39:07 > 0:39:10'It's also unbelievably time-consuming.'

0:39:13 > 0:39:15The thing is, this is complicated stuff - this is like building

0:39:15 > 0:39:19the back wheel of a motorcycle from scratch, not even from Meccano.

0:39:19 > 0:39:23There are no pre-drilled holes, no pre-ordained sizes or spaces

0:39:23 > 0:39:26or anything - all we've got is pieces of metal.

0:39:26 > 0:39:27That's it.

0:39:29 > 0:39:34'An hour of precious daylight passes. Then another.

0:39:34 > 0:39:35'And another.

0:39:38 > 0:39:41'Even if we somehow got the bike repaired straightaway,

0:39:41 > 0:39:43'we've now got no real hope

0:39:43 > 0:39:45'of reaching the finishing line by sundown.

0:39:45 > 0:39:48'As we desperately tinker away, surrounded by clocks

0:39:48 > 0:39:53'that only rub in how long this is taking, I'm at my lowest ebb.

0:39:53 > 0:39:55'Oz, on the other hand...'

0:39:55 > 0:39:56Slainte!

0:39:58 > 0:40:00# Put on a happy face

0:40:00 > 0:40:01# Brush off the clouds and cheer up... #

0:40:01 > 0:40:02Mmm-mmm.

0:40:02 > 0:40:06- Real stuff!- Real stuff.- You can taste the wind off the sea

0:40:06 > 0:40:10and you can... Got a lovely, savoury, acidy freshness to it.

0:40:10 > 0:40:12Absolutely smashing.

0:40:12 > 0:40:14How many more bottles you got of that?

0:40:14 > 0:40:16THEY LAUGH

0:40:16 > 0:40:19Isle of Man drinks so far that I've been having

0:40:19 > 0:40:22- have got a really good, old-fashioned bite to them.- Yeah.

0:40:22 > 0:40:23I hope this continues.

0:40:23 > 0:40:25CORK POPS

0:40:25 > 0:40:27Mmm-mmm.

0:40:27 > 0:40:29- Thank you!- No problems. Enjoy. - Good fun!

0:40:34 > 0:40:35This is getting a bit desperate.

0:40:35 > 0:40:39What we imagined would be a two-hour repair break

0:40:39 > 0:40:41to sort out the collapsed rear-wheel bearing

0:40:41 > 0:40:43is now six and a half hours long.

0:40:43 > 0:40:47We've had to make bespoke hubs for the wheels, a bespoke axle,

0:40:47 > 0:40:50new off-the-shelf bearings to fit in holes, spacers,

0:40:50 > 0:40:52we're running out of daylight,

0:40:52 > 0:40:54we've got to finish by 9 o'clock tomorrow

0:40:54 > 0:40:57because that's when the Manx GP 2 starts -

0:40:57 > 0:40:59this is why I've fitted some lights,

0:40:59 > 0:41:01cos I'm hoping I'll be allowed to ride it through the dark,

0:41:01 > 0:41:03despite what the regulations say.

0:41:03 > 0:41:05Carry on.

0:41:05 > 0:41:07Right, 17.5 millimetres...

0:41:08 > 0:41:10'News of our predicament filters back

0:41:10 > 0:41:13'to our worried supporters at the grandstand.'

0:41:13 > 0:41:17THEY LAUGH

0:41:17 > 0:41:19Having ridden round it many times,

0:41:19 > 0:41:21it takes a lot to keep 'em going, doesn't it?

0:41:21 > 0:41:26I don't think the chances are with him - I think they're a bit slim.

0:41:31 > 0:41:34Finally, by the early evening, we're back on the road.

0:41:36 > 0:41:38So, viewers, if you've just joined us,

0:41:38 > 0:41:40we've had a seven-hour session

0:41:40 > 0:41:42repairing the bearing on the back wheel,

0:41:42 > 0:41:46and now we're underway again and approaching the 12th mile post.

0:41:46 > 0:41:49# Time I was on my way... #

0:41:49 > 0:41:52'We haven't yet heard from the authorities about riding at night,

0:41:52 > 0:41:54'but we have to set off regardless

0:41:54 > 0:41:57'and hope they give us the thumbs-up before it's too late.'

0:41:59 > 0:42:04So we did 11½ miles on the original all-Meccano bearing

0:42:04 > 0:42:05and I think that's pretty good.

0:42:05 > 0:42:07I bet when Frank Hornby invented Meccano,

0:42:07 > 0:42:10he didn't think it would be used for anything more

0:42:10 > 0:42:13than a very simple push-along truck

0:42:13 > 0:42:15or a crude representation of Tower Bridge,

0:42:15 > 0:42:17not this sort of thing.

0:42:17 > 0:42:20'We might be running way behind schedule

0:42:20 > 0:42:22'but the fixes to the bike are holding

0:42:22 > 0:42:25'and, even though they must have been waiting outside for hours...'

0:42:25 > 0:42:26How do I look?

0:42:26 > 0:42:29'..the whole population of the island seems to have come out

0:42:29 > 0:42:30'to help cheer us on.'

0:42:33 > 0:42:35WOMAN SHOUTS

0:42:35 > 0:42:37Hiya.

0:42:40 > 0:42:41- Hey!- All right?

0:42:46 > 0:42:48Have you seen Oz Clarke?

0:42:48 > 0:42:49Seen Oz Clarke?

0:42:52 > 0:42:55We're the only people on the Isle of Man that smoke traditionally.

0:42:55 > 0:42:57Ooh! Oh!

0:42:57 > 0:42:58OZ COUGHS

0:42:58 > 0:43:00Oh, those look delicious.

0:43:02 > 0:43:05And all of that colour is natural, is it?

0:43:05 > 0:43:07Yeah, everything's natural.

0:43:07 > 0:43:09So that's your kippers for your breakfast.

0:43:09 > 0:43:11Ah, the smell of one of those.

0:43:12 > 0:43:13CHEERING

0:43:13 > 0:43:15Thank you. Thank you.

0:43:15 > 0:43:16Go on, James.

0:43:16 > 0:43:19How did you know I was coming? We're seven hours late.

0:43:19 > 0:43:22- WHISTLING AND APPLAUSE - Thank you.

0:43:22 > 0:43:24Cor, it's like being the Queen.

0:43:24 > 0:43:26Can I smell that?

0:43:29 > 0:43:32Oh, yes, I want that. I'll have that, please.

0:43:32 > 0:43:37'Like a HOLEY Lazarus, our dead bike is truly resurrected.'

0:43:39 > 0:43:4318 miles. Let's call that halfway.

0:43:43 > 0:43:4519 miles on Meccano.

0:43:45 > 0:43:47Come on, that's pretty good.

0:43:47 > 0:43:48CHEERING

0:43:48 > 0:43:51Thank you. Thank you very much.

0:43:51 > 0:43:54I'm sorry, I can't stop. I'd love a pint.

0:43:56 > 0:43:59'The Manx Oakley Mark I prototype.

0:43:59 > 0:44:02'Its innovative full-of-holes chassis gives zero wind resistance,

0:44:02 > 0:44:06'it's recyclable if you want to build a giant crane instead,

0:44:06 > 0:44:09'and it can outstrip the top speed of a ten-year-old boy.

0:44:10 > 0:44:12'Marvellous.'

0:44:17 > 0:44:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:44:20 > 0:44:21Sorry I can't stop.

0:44:23 > 0:44:24More speed!

0:44:31 > 0:44:33I imagine in this rather lovely evening light -

0:44:33 > 0:44:36that I was hoping not to see from the bike -

0:44:36 > 0:44:41the Manx Oakley gleams in a jewel-like way.

0:44:41 > 0:44:43Its silver has become gold.

0:44:47 > 0:44:50Its front wheel bearing has become crap.

0:44:52 > 0:44:56'And finally, after 14 famished, Oz-less hours,

0:44:56 > 0:44:58'up the road, I see the evening light

0:44:58 > 0:45:00'reflecting off a familiar head.'

0:45:03 > 0:45:06- Where the hell have you been? - Where the hell have YOU been?

0:45:06 > 0:45:08Where do you think?

0:45:08 > 0:45:10I've been going round the TT course. That was the idea.

0:45:10 > 0:45:13I've got your breakfast. I mean, aren't you hungry yet?

0:45:13 > 0:45:15I'm starving, it's eight o clock!

0:45:15 > 0:45:17Why didn't you get a bit of a move on, then?

0:45:17 > 0:45:20We had to spend six and a half hours repairing the back wheel.

0:45:20 > 0:45:23'Oz's picnic looks rather unwieldy.

0:45:23 > 0:45:25'But, never mind, he's back on the bike.'

0:45:25 > 0:45:28You haven't got anything there we can eat on the move, have you?

0:45:28 > 0:45:31- I've got kippers. - How are you supposed to cook them?

0:45:31 > 0:45:34Well, they're cooked already, they're cured.

0:45:34 > 0:45:36What, cold kippers?

0:45:36 > 0:45:37Well, they're not cold now -

0:45:37 > 0:45:39I'll shove them between my legs for ten minutes,

0:45:39 > 0:45:40they'll be reasonably warm.

0:45:40 > 0:45:43'Unfortunately, over the course of 14 hours,

0:45:43 > 0:45:46'I've completely forgotten how much weight Oz adds to the bike.'

0:45:46 > 0:45:49MOTOR STRUGGLES

0:45:50 > 0:45:51MOTOR CUTS OUT

0:45:55 > 0:45:57- Sorry, Oz.- What's up? - You'll have to get off.

0:45:58 > 0:46:02- You're not serious?- Yeah, I am. - I've only just got on.- I know!

0:46:02 > 0:46:05You can get back on again up there when it goes downhill.

0:46:05 > 0:46:07- For goodness' sake, James. - Leave the bread, please.

0:46:07 > 0:46:09I will not.

0:46:09 > 0:46:10OZ SIGHS

0:46:10 > 0:46:12Don't put your weight on the footboard.

0:46:12 > 0:46:14Your bread.

0:46:15 > 0:46:16Need any help? Push?

0:46:16 > 0:46:18No, no, it's OK. It's OK without you on it.

0:46:18 > 0:46:21Shall I have a polite conversation with you as I go?

0:46:21 > 0:46:24- Can I have a piece of bread? - Bread?

0:46:26 > 0:46:28- Thanks.- All right.

0:46:28 > 0:46:30- Actually, you can get back on. - Do you want a kipper?- No.

0:46:30 > 0:46:31- You can get back on.- Cider?

0:46:33 > 0:46:37- Dear, oh, dear.- Go! - Why can't I get on?

0:46:37 > 0:46:38Come on!

0:46:38 > 0:46:41I can't get on, you're going too fast!

0:46:41 > 0:46:43I can't afford to slow down, come on!

0:46:43 > 0:46:45There's another hill coming up.

0:46:47 > 0:46:49Oz's bread is good!

0:46:52 > 0:46:55'Anyone currently writing furiously

0:46:55 > 0:46:58'to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Oz -

0:46:58 > 0:47:02'trust me, he's a resourceful chap, he can handle himself just fine.

0:47:13 > 0:47:15'I might have missed out on dinner

0:47:15 > 0:47:17'but, at last, like manna from heaven,

0:47:17 > 0:47:20'there comes a crumb of comfort from the authorities.

0:47:20 > 0:47:23'We CAN ride at night, but only under police escort.

0:47:24 > 0:47:28'This is it then - one last-ditch attempt to push through the darkness

0:47:28 > 0:47:32'and cross the line before 9:30 tomorrow.

0:47:32 > 0:47:35'But in our way is over nine miles of mountains,

0:47:35 > 0:47:38'steeper than anything I've encountered so far.'

0:47:38 > 0:47:40This is Ramsey.

0:47:41 > 0:47:44This is the last bit of civilisation, really,

0:47:44 > 0:47:46before you head back round the top

0:47:46 > 0:47:48and down in to Douglas itself.

0:47:48 > 0:47:51The only small obstacle in the way is...a mountain.

0:47:52 > 0:47:54'The beginning of the ascent is just ahead.

0:47:54 > 0:47:58'May Hill, one of the steepest gradients on the course.'

0:47:58 > 0:48:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:48:00 > 0:48:02- Go on, lad!- Hang off the bike...

0:48:02 > 0:48:06'Every ounce of battery power I have left is going into this push.'

0:48:10 > 0:48:11Bit faster, tracking car!

0:48:13 > 0:48:14Bit faster!

0:48:14 > 0:48:17'I can feel the ground underneath me getting steeper.'

0:48:18 > 0:48:21Keep going, keep going, keep going.

0:48:27 > 0:48:28Keep going!

0:48:28 > 0:48:29'I don't believe it.

0:48:29 > 0:48:31'The one time we need the bike to behave

0:48:31 > 0:48:33'and it's actually NOT falling apart.'

0:48:33 > 0:48:37Faster, faster, faster, faster, faster.

0:48:37 > 0:48:39Is that the supposed steep bit?

0:48:39 > 0:48:41'OK, all our sound equipment

0:48:41 > 0:48:43'may have just fallen off the back of the bike.

0:48:43 > 0:48:44'But it's doing it.

0:48:46 > 0:48:49'And, amazingly, it just keeps going.'

0:48:52 > 0:48:53This is incredible! Look at this -

0:48:53 > 0:48:55we're rocketing up the side of the mountain,

0:48:55 > 0:48:57heading towards the left-hand hairpin.

0:48:57 > 0:48:59Can't remember what it's called.

0:49:00 > 0:49:05Kronk-ny Valley Froggy Fairy Bridge or something.

0:49:05 > 0:49:09'We genuinely don't know why the bike suddenly sprung to life.

0:49:09 > 0:49:13'Even with a full battery recharge, it shouldn't be doing this well.'

0:49:13 > 0:49:15We're through.

0:49:15 > 0:49:17'Even the crew can't believe it.'

0:49:29 > 0:49:33I am doing, with my fresh batteries, 15 miles an hour uphill.

0:49:33 > 0:49:36They are draining pretty quickly.

0:49:36 > 0:49:38Nevertheless, it works.

0:49:39 > 0:49:40Look at this.

0:49:42 > 0:49:44We're still going.

0:49:45 > 0:49:49'The bike powers on for almost four miles up the mountains.

0:49:49 > 0:49:50'Not just matching,

0:49:50 > 0:49:53'but exceeding the best speeds we've had on the course so far.

0:49:57 > 0:49:59'Until, finally...'

0:50:00 > 0:50:02I'm running out of juice.

0:50:05 > 0:50:07I'm down in the red.

0:50:07 > 0:50:10'We've used an entire battery charge getting up that slope

0:50:10 > 0:50:13'but the bike seems to be in fine fettle.

0:50:13 > 0:50:15'So, while Simmy changes the batteries,

0:50:15 > 0:50:17'I ring Oz and tell him he might as well wait for me

0:50:17 > 0:50:20'on the outskirts of Douglas tomorrow morning.

0:50:20 > 0:50:24'Now it's just me, the mountain and Meccano.

0:50:26 > 0:50:29I do feel a bit bad about not bringing Oz on this bit

0:50:29 > 0:50:31but the fact is it won't carry both of us up this hill.

0:50:31 > 0:50:33What am I supposed to do?

0:50:35 > 0:50:38It's harsh but...but fair.

0:50:38 > 0:50:40The bike has to make it.

0:50:40 > 0:50:42The individual is unimportant.

0:50:43 > 0:50:45Only the toy matters.

0:50:47 > 0:50:50CHEERING

0:50:50 > 0:50:52Thanks for staying up.

0:50:54 > 0:50:57They're not just there waiting for us, are they?

0:51:00 > 0:51:04- WILL, OVER RADIO: I think they were walking their dogs, James.- Oh.

0:51:04 > 0:51:06Something to do with dogs, apparently.

0:51:06 > 0:51:09'So, with about five miles of steep mountain still to go,

0:51:09 > 0:51:12'before another seven downhill,

0:51:12 > 0:51:15'it's a long, slow, lonely ride in to the night.

0:51:17 > 0:51:20'I've had about 12 hours' sleep in four days

0:51:20 > 0:51:22'and won't be getting any tonight.

0:51:22 > 0:51:25'This has become a pure endurance challenge

0:51:25 > 0:51:27'and I'm a long way off my best.'

0:51:27 > 0:51:28It's spooky.

0:51:30 > 0:51:31Or maybe "Spocky"?

0:51:33 > 0:51:35Shut up, James.

0:51:35 > 0:51:36All right.

0:51:37 > 0:51:39HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

0:51:41 > 0:51:44'And it's not just me who's getting a bit frayed.'

0:51:47 > 0:51:48TYRES SQUEAL

0:51:48 > 0:51:52- No, you mustn't do that!- BLEEP!

0:51:52 > 0:51:54'Scared of the dark, our young driver, Stewart,

0:51:54 > 0:51:57'slammed on the brakes and almost damaged our Range Rover.

0:52:00 > 0:52:02'But now, apart from the ghostly light

0:52:02 > 0:52:04'from the police rider behind me,

0:52:04 > 0:52:06'the road is almost pitch black.

0:52:08 > 0:52:11'It's all gone a bit peculiar, like I'm in Lost Highway

0:52:11 > 0:52:14'or that bit at the end of Terminator 2.

0:52:38 > 0:52:40'I've got no choice but to try and keep it together,

0:52:40 > 0:52:42'pray there's no breakdown or collision,

0:52:42 > 0:52:45'and ride on into the night.

0:53:12 > 0:53:15'I am absolutely knackered.

0:53:16 > 0:53:19'I've got Meccano bolts stuck in places

0:53:19 > 0:53:21'where I'll be finding them for the next three years,

0:53:21 > 0:53:24'I've had half a loaf of bread to keep me going for about 24 hours,

0:53:24 > 0:53:26'I never want to see another sprocket as long as I live,

0:53:26 > 0:53:29'but the bike has made it over the mountain.'

0:53:30 > 0:53:34# Carry on, carry on... #

0:53:35 > 0:53:38'And it's downhill all the way to the finish.'

0:53:40 > 0:53:44Ahead lies Douglas and a hot kipper.

0:53:46 > 0:53:50I don't like to speak too soon but it is pretty much all downhill now

0:53:50 > 0:53:53and I really don't see what can go wrong.

0:53:53 > 0:53:55I think we're going to make it.

0:53:55 > 0:53:59Pretty soon, Meccano will add its own little paragraph

0:53:59 > 0:54:03to the great canon of Isle of Man motorcycling lore.

0:54:03 > 0:54:06I think it is a historic lap.

0:54:06 > 0:54:08I'm very proud of it.

0:54:17 > 0:54:21It's a great honour as well to be allowed to do this

0:54:21 > 0:54:27and to play my part in cementing the reputation of this great little island -

0:54:27 > 0:54:29a reputation very dearly bought, actually.

0:54:31 > 0:54:34Maybe we should keep quiet for a minute or so here

0:54:34 > 0:54:36and remember that not everyone who's set off

0:54:36 > 0:54:40on this greatest of laps made it all the way to the end.

0:54:42 > 0:54:45# Climbed a mountain and I turned around... #

0:54:45 > 0:54:48Some of them are on the island for ever.

0:54:48 > 0:54:53# And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills

0:54:53 > 0:54:58# Till the landslide brought me down... #

0:55:02 > 0:55:04Right, as I've neglected him a bit,

0:55:04 > 0:55:09I think I should see if I can find Oz Clarke off the television

0:55:09 > 0:55:11and share the last little bit with him.

0:55:14 > 0:55:16# I'm going up the country

0:55:16 > 0:55:19# Baby, don't you wanna go? #

0:55:19 > 0:55:21Oz Clarke!

0:55:21 > 0:55:24Oh, you're not still carrying those kippers around?

0:55:24 > 0:55:26- What a wonderful sight. - Quick, quick, don't hang about.

0:55:26 > 0:55:29- The race... They're going to close the roads.- Right, right, right.

0:55:29 > 0:55:30Get rid of the kippers.

0:55:30 > 0:55:33It's your breakfast. I'm not letting you go without breakfast.

0:55:33 > 0:55:36I'm having breakfast in a hotel.

0:55:36 > 0:55:38'There's a mile left but only a few minutes to go

0:55:38 > 0:55:42'before they kick us off the course to make way for the Grand Prix.

0:55:42 > 0:55:45'This is tighter than Graham Norton's trousers.

0:55:46 > 0:55:49'At the finish line, the crowds are gathering,

0:55:49 > 0:55:52'and the riders are making their final pre-race checks.

0:55:55 > 0:56:00'We, on the other hand, are almost on the home straight.'

0:56:00 > 0:56:01Nearly there.

0:56:01 > 0:56:03We're so close!

0:56:03 > 0:56:06'After two months of planning and construction,

0:56:06 > 0:56:08'one crash, five breakdowns,

0:56:08 > 0:56:11'18 batteries, 97 motors,

0:56:11 > 0:56:15'and well over 15,000 nuts, struts and bolts,

0:56:15 > 0:56:18'we have roused Meccano from its torpid slumber

0:56:18 > 0:56:21'and made it rise, like a perforated metal phoenix,

0:56:21 > 0:56:24'from the ashes of forgotten mechanical ambition

0:56:24 > 0:56:27'to shine once more like a silvery lighthouse,

0:56:27 > 0:56:28'guiding to shore all those

0:56:28 > 0:56:32'who felt lost in the sea of engineering indifference and...'

0:56:32 > 0:56:34- WORRYING METALLIC CREAK - 'Oh, hang on.'

0:56:34 > 0:56:36And...

0:56:36 > 0:56:37Whoa!

0:56:37 > 0:56:38And up.

0:56:38 > 0:56:40It sounded a bit rattly, Oz.

0:56:40 > 0:56:42I'm looking at the back wheel.

0:56:42 > 0:56:44That does sound a bit...

0:56:44 > 0:56:46- What is it?- I don't know.

0:56:46 > 0:56:48'I've had it up to here with mysterious rattles.

0:56:48 > 0:56:51'Let's just go for it, or disintegrate in the attempt.'

0:56:54 > 0:56:57Ah, come on. Just... You've got to do...

0:56:57 > 0:56:59I can see it.

0:56:59 > 0:57:00Come on, bike.

0:57:02 > 0:57:03Come on, the Manx Oakley.

0:57:07 > 0:57:08We're almost there.

0:57:08 > 0:57:11There's the tower thing, there's the grandstand.

0:57:11 > 0:57:13Oh-ho!

0:57:13 > 0:57:14Are there crowds?

0:57:14 > 0:57:16Yes, there are crowds.

0:57:16 > 0:57:20There it is, Oz. There's the Scouts' scoreboard, there's the bridge.

0:57:20 > 0:57:22- Sit upright, look dignified. - I hope the brakes work!

0:57:22 > 0:57:23We're going to do it.

0:57:23 > 0:57:25OZ LAUGHS

0:57:25 > 0:57:26Mind the bump!

0:57:26 > 0:57:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:57:33 > 0:57:34More!

0:57:46 > 0:57:51- Here's the man with the flag. 37¾ miles.- We've done it.

0:57:53 > 0:57:57- Yes. Haha!- Done it! CHEERING

0:57:57 > 0:57:58How about that?

0:58:00 > 0:58:03We've brought Meccano to the mountain, everybody. Thank you!

0:58:03 > 0:58:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:58:05 > 0:58:07Tremendous.

0:58:07 > 0:58:08Well done, old chap.

0:58:08 > 0:58:10Seriously, fantastic.

0:58:10 > 0:58:11Thank you.

0:58:13 > 0:58:14Glory.

0:58:14 > 0:58:16YAY!

0:58:16 > 0:58:18OZ LAUGHS

0:58:18 > 0:58:21'I think I will never again touch a piece of Meccano.

0:58:21 > 0:58:22'Why would I?

0:58:22 > 0:58:24'Where could we go from here?

0:58:24 > 0:58:26'A Meccano space ship?

0:58:26 > 0:58:28'It's not airtight.'

0:58:28 > 0:58:29The engineers, everyone.

0:58:29 > 0:58:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:58:31 > 0:58:33'Yes, it's a 100-year-old toy

0:58:33 > 0:58:35'that seems irrelevant in the modern world.

0:58:35 > 0:58:37'Maybe it is.

0:58:38 > 0:58:41'But what other toy could have done this?'

0:58:44 > 0:58:46A very happy Christmas.

0:58:46 > 0:58:49And I hope all your toys work as well as ours did.