:00:00. > :00:08.because it's an experience in a lifetime
:00:09. > :00:14.It's just that I didn't want to share him with anybody.
:00:15. > :00:19.someone who's made for everybody all for myself.
:00:20. > :00:24.Since he's dead, he's become more and more everybody's property.
:00:25. > :00:45."I labour by singing light not for ambition or bread
:00:46. > :00:51."Or the strut and trade of charm upon the ivory stages
:00:52. > :00:57."But for the common wages of their most secret heart."
:00:58. > :01:01.It's now 24 years since the death of Dylan Thomas,
:01:02. > :01:05.that extraordinary Welshman, described by one of his biographers
:01:06. > :01:07.as the finest lyric poet since Keats.
:01:08. > :01:10.The man who became a legend in his own lifetime
:01:11. > :01:15.as the author of the radio play Under Milk Wood.
:01:16. > :01:19.Dylan died in a New York hospital after a coma at the age of 39.
:01:20. > :01:23.The words on the death certificate were "insult to the brain".
:01:24. > :01:26.In fact, it was alcoholic and perhaps sexual exhaustion.
:01:27. > :01:34.I think it's a good enough legend. It's near enough to the truth.
:01:35. > :01:37.As near to it, probably, as any legend is
:01:38. > :01:42.because Dylan really... fanatically lived up...
:01:43. > :01:48.I think he deliberately created the legend and I followed suit.
:01:49. > :01:52.We both worked very hard at that legend.
:01:53. > :01:59.herself a tempestuous, brilliantly attractive woman,
:02:00. > :02:03.the years which have elapsed since then, angry, bitter, drunken,
:02:04. > :02:09.Peace which, I believe, she's found now here in Rome.
:02:10. > :02:13.She's lived in Italy ever since the funeral.
:02:14. > :02:16.Now, she has an apartment overlooking the Tiber.
:02:17. > :02:22.And for five years, she's been a member of Alcoholics Anonymous.
:02:23. > :02:26.Since I came to Italy, I think I was without knowing it,
:02:27. > :02:30.going in the direction of sobriety and a spiritual life.
:02:31. > :02:34.I didn't want anything more to do with that old drinking life
:02:35. > :02:39.All those old associations, I wanted to escape from.
:02:40. > :02:43.My sobriety in the beginning has been a very bad sobriety.
:02:44. > :02:48.I felt very miserable and empty and in a huge void.
:02:49. > :02:56.Over 30 years of drink, you can't just drop like that.
:02:57. > :03:02.that some sort of blocks have dislocated in my mind
:03:03. > :03:05.and my brain seems to have got a bit clearer.
:03:06. > :03:08.It was absolutely fogged up. I couldn't remember a thing.
:03:09. > :03:12.I can't remember a lot now, but compared to what it was...
:03:13. > :03:16.I couldn't speak. For years, I could hardly open my mouth.
:03:17. > :03:19.And if I can talk to you, it's thanks to AA
:03:20. > :03:27.I like some of the things about the Latin way of life.
:03:28. > :03:32.Chiefly then, I must admit, it was the wine and the men.
:03:33. > :03:35.It was nothing more romantic than that.
:03:36. > :03:41.Now that those two things have pretty well been taken away from me,
:03:42. > :03:45.a new problem has been posed to me of finding something else
:03:46. > :03:50.don't seem to quite take the place of the wine and the men.
:03:51. > :03:53.So you've got another battle ahead of you then.
:03:54. > :03:57.Yes. It does tend to become rather boring, I'm afraid,
:03:58. > :04:05.You know, that chatting that went on, I miss that more than anything.
:04:06. > :04:08.At my age now, I don't expect any more sex life
:04:09. > :04:12.and I can't have any more booze, so I've got to find a substitute.
:04:13. > :04:17.The occupational trouble too, you know.
:04:18. > :04:21.Trying to find something interesting enough to do.
:04:22. > :04:26.I try and do a bit of writing and reading, exercising and all that.
:04:27. > :04:33.You had two Irish parents, but you were born in England.
:04:34. > :04:35.Was it a conventional upbringing you had?
:04:36. > :04:41.It was what we chose to call an artistic upbringing,
:04:42. > :04:46.Which meant of course we never went to proper schools
:04:47. > :04:53.and we had odd, strange French governesses.
:04:54. > :04:56.We never learnt all the things you ought to learn.
:04:57. > :04:58.We were just left to run wild really.
:04:59. > :05:03.What were the things that you didn't learn that you think looking back...
:05:04. > :05:08.but we didn't learn history, geography.
:05:09. > :05:12.All those standard subjects, we just knew nothing about.
:05:13. > :05:15.Or where to put the punctuation, that kind of thing.
:05:16. > :05:19.We were uneducated. We didn't feel it.
:05:20. > :05:23.It was only the boys who were educated in those days.
:05:24. > :05:27.The brother, he had a proper education.
:05:28. > :05:33.But compared with the John children, who we fraternised with,
:05:34. > :05:40.They were even more neglected and more wild than us.
:05:41. > :05:43.They never had any clothes on anyway.
:05:44. > :05:46.Much has been written and much has been speculated
:05:47. > :05:51.about the strange association of all of you girls with Augustus John.
:05:52. > :05:55.He was a close friend, was he? Or was he more than that?
:05:56. > :05:58.He was a close friend of my mother and father
:05:59. > :06:03.and then he came to live near us in the country.
:06:04. > :06:06.We used to go up and down to each other's homes
:06:07. > :06:09.and to parties and all with the children.
:06:10. > :06:14.I had a great friend in Vivian John, the youngest girl.
:06:15. > :06:20.We staged a great escape and run away from home,
:06:21. > :06:24.which none of the parents seemed to notice.
:06:25. > :06:29.and we went to an audition in front of Cockran.
:06:30. > :06:34.I think Cockran was a friend of Augustus John's.
:06:35. > :06:38.Then we stayed in a hotel where her father paid the bill.
:06:39. > :06:41.And we ate there. We had a fine time.
:06:42. > :06:44.But no-one seemed to notice our absence much.
:06:45. > :06:48.He had a desperate reputation, Augustus John.
:06:49. > :06:54.Pouncing on everybody kind of thing. That's right.
:06:55. > :07:04.Oh, yes, constantly. And on his daughters.
:07:05. > :07:10.And on... Well, boys were not immune either.
:07:11. > :07:14.It was just after that that you met Dylan first, wasn't it?
:07:15. > :07:17.Yes, I remember meeting him in that pub with Augustus.
:07:18. > :07:22.There he was, talking away as usual, disheveled,
:07:23. > :07:25.just looking like the parody of a poet.
:07:26. > :07:33.Yes, Augustus had said he knew this livewire of a Welshman.
:07:34. > :07:37.He had just mentioned a few words about him.
:07:38. > :07:40.He hadn't anticipated that we'd get on so well
:07:41. > :07:43.and he wasn't so pleased when we did.
:07:44. > :07:47.Why not? He was jealous, was he? He was. He was jealous, yes.
:07:48. > :07:50.I remember I had on a very beautiful flowery dress
:07:51. > :07:58.My great success with Dylan I put down to this flowery dress!
:07:59. > :08:04.He was very taken with it too and he kind of...
:08:05. > :08:07.He was dead set on you from the very start.
:08:08. > :08:11.Yes. He kind of fell all over me, put his head on my knee,
:08:12. > :08:17.It seems almost immediately that we fell into bed together.
:08:18. > :08:22.as though we'd known each other all the time.
:08:23. > :08:26.In those days, marriage was the thing to do, I suppose.
:08:27. > :08:28.I don't know if it was the thing to do then,
:08:29. > :08:32.but I think Dylan had this idea about the marriage.
:08:33. > :08:35.I think he felt he had to marry some woman
:08:36. > :08:39.and I think he thought I was a cut above the women he had been with.
:08:40. > :08:41.I don't know what exactly he thought.
:08:42. > :08:46.He was very young. Was he very experienced with women at this age?
:08:47. > :08:51.I don't know which of us was more ignorant really.
:08:52. > :08:57.You talk about the drinking, even in those days, he was drinking heavily?
:08:58. > :09:01.Right from the start. I suffered in the beginning.
:09:02. > :09:03.I think I came from a drinking family
:09:04. > :09:06.but I wasn't used to doing it from the morning on.
:09:07. > :09:11.I found it very hard to start just as the pubs opened at 11 o'clock.
:09:12. > :09:15.Clocking in for rows of light ales to get over the hangover.
:09:16. > :09:18.Usually, he had his old cronies round him.
:09:19. > :09:22.He'd stay there all the morning and then in the afternoon,
:09:23. > :09:25.we never had any lunch, we starved to death nearly.
:09:26. > :09:28.At the beginning, I was very hungry and very strong.
:09:29. > :09:31.Then in the afternoon, instead of fading out
:09:32. > :09:37.and waited until the pubs opened again at half past five.
:09:38. > :09:41.It was a complete day in the end. That was in town, in London.
:09:42. > :09:45.In those early days when you were first married,
:09:46. > :09:48.what did he want to do with his life?
:09:49. > :09:53.That's the only thing he ever thought to do.
:09:54. > :09:59.From the very start, he had just the one idea.
:10:00. > :10:06.Poems and the booze. In that order, was it then?
:10:07. > :10:12.Yes. The poems definitely were more important, but, erm...
:10:13. > :10:14.I think he used the booze to wipe out the poems,
:10:15. > :10:18.not to think about them when he wasn't writing them.
:10:19. > :10:21.How did he write poetry? Was it easy for him?
:10:22. > :10:29.He used to go into his little shed and scrape and scratch
:10:30. > :10:33.and mutter and mumble in tone and change.
:10:34. > :10:38.In one afternoon from about two until seven,
:10:39. > :10:43.or taken out one word or put in one word.
:10:44. > :10:47.In his poetry, he seems obsessed with his own childhood.
:10:48. > :10:51.Yes. He was terribly sentimental about his childhood and school days.
:10:52. > :10:55.Sometimes I think he never progressed from there.
:10:56. > :11:00.I don't think he wanted to look forward.
:11:01. > :11:06.he seems to have been obsessed with the idea of an early death.
:11:07. > :11:12.Yes, he was. Neither of us wanted to get old and ugly.
:11:13. > :11:19.He was always convinced that he was going to die
:11:20. > :11:28.He had this ridiculous romantic idea of the poet starving in the garret.
:11:29. > :11:33.He always built up this idea of being tubercular and being sick
:11:34. > :11:40.because his mother had pampered him so much as a little boy.
:11:41. > :11:44.I think actually, he was a lot tougher than he tried to make out.
:11:45. > :11:51.His constitution was much stronger than he made out.
:11:52. > :11:54.He wanted to be pale and dying all the time.
:11:55. > :11:57.Actually, his bones broke pretty easily.
:11:58. > :12:00.He kept falling down and breaking bones.
:12:01. > :12:03.All that helped the image he was trying to build up
:12:04. > :12:06.of the tubercular, consumptive, dying, pale poet.
:12:07. > :12:10.It was much more like David Gascoigne. That was his image.
:12:11. > :12:13.He wanted to be long and sickly and green and all that.
:12:14. > :12:20.and not like the conventional idea of a poet at all.
:12:21. > :12:25.Was he the same man in his own private life
:12:26. > :12:29.No. He was rather off stage in the house.
:12:30. > :12:34.He just liked his warm slippers and his dish of tit-bits
:12:35. > :12:38.and pickled onions and sardines and anything with a lot of vinegar,
:12:39. > :12:43.and cockles, all put on a plate, which he'd stuff into his mouth
:12:44. > :12:45.when he was listening to the cricket scores.
:12:46. > :12:50.He was just Mr Everyman until he put on the act of being the poet
:12:51. > :12:59.He never liked to talk about his poems.
:13:00. > :13:02.But when he was in the pub for instance,
:13:03. > :13:05.he was always telling funny stories.
:13:06. > :13:08.Nothing to do with poetry. He didn't want to talk about it.
:13:09. > :13:14.he would only answer per force, as if he was made to talk about it.
:13:15. > :13:21.He didn't want to be bothered with it except when he was working on it.
:13:22. > :13:26.One of the few people who could talk to him about the workings of a poem
:13:27. > :13:30.was Vernon Watkins, who he did open up to.
:13:31. > :13:32.Although, with me privately he'd say,
:13:33. > :13:37."Oh my God, what a bore. I've got to talk poetry with Vernon Watkins."
:13:38. > :13:41.And he'd try to get Vernon drunk so that he wouldn't talk about poetry.
:13:42. > :13:45.Vernon practically never drank at all, so he was the most comic drunk
:13:46. > :13:48.because he didn't know what was happening.
:13:49. > :13:54.Was he interested in the domestic side of bringing up children?
:13:55. > :13:58.Not at all. He was a hopeless father. He couldn't have been worse.
:13:59. > :14:01.He didn't want anything to do with the children.
:14:02. > :14:06.He just liked to feel they were there.
:14:07. > :14:10.When he was in the pub in London, he'd bring out the photographs.
:14:11. > :14:15.He was very sentimental about it. He'd show them to all the people.
:14:16. > :14:18.But he had nothing to do with them in a practical sense.
:14:19. > :14:22.As the marriage progressed and as the relationship progressed,
:14:23. > :14:26.did the drinking get worse or did it stabilise?
:14:27. > :14:29.I think drinking automatically gets worse,
:14:30. > :14:32.even if you go on drinking the same amount.
:14:33. > :14:37.My drinking got a lot worse because I was drinking spirits
:14:38. > :14:40.when Dylan was drinking enormous pints of beer
:14:41. > :14:42.that I couldn't possibly fit inside myself.
:14:43. > :14:46.I'd take short ones and I'd drink more and more whiskey.
:14:47. > :14:53.I think I was destroying myself faster probably in Laugharne.
:14:54. > :14:57.Dylan, when he went to town, he'd start on the shorts,
:14:58. > :15:01.and of course then there came America, which was worst of all.
:15:02. > :15:07.Did he like Laugharne? Yes. He loved Laugharne.
:15:08. > :15:10.He's much more sentimental about it than I was
:15:11. > :15:13.because he could go up and down and escape.
:15:14. > :15:19.I think he must have felt the lack of intellectual conversation.
:15:20. > :15:24.He was happy, but I've got a sneaking feeling
:15:25. > :15:27.that he was also bored after a certain time.
:15:28. > :15:31.Bored? Yes. Because some people suggest that he stayed there
:15:32. > :15:35.because he was afraid to go elsewhere. What do you think?
:15:36. > :15:41.It was his only working place for one thing. He did want to work.
:15:42. > :15:45.But we also had to make some attempt to make money.
:15:46. > :15:49.The excuse he made to go to London was to make a few pounds.
:15:50. > :15:54.Occasionally he did, with the BBC, but he'd spend it immediately.
:15:55. > :16:00.It was never a valid excuse but he couldn't go on not making any money.
:16:01. > :16:08.the cliche that when poverty comes in at the window
:16:09. > :16:15.It's not true. Poverty was there. It was there right from the start.
:16:16. > :16:20.We were so used to it. Real poverty? Yes, really poor.
:16:21. > :16:24.I was used to it. I had this mother who never mentioned money.
:16:25. > :16:28.I didn't realise we were so poor in our humble cottage.
:16:29. > :16:33.Our mother treated us all like great ladies who'd marry rich men.
:16:34. > :16:36.We were just waiting to move in to the rich house.
:16:37. > :16:43.How bad was the poverty in your married life?
:16:44. > :16:50.Dylan used to worry terribly about it. He had sleepless nights.
:16:51. > :16:54.That accumulated and got worse with the bills and debts.
:16:55. > :16:57.But, of course, then he got this patroness.
:16:58. > :17:01.This Margaret, can I mention her? Yes.
:17:02. > :17:04.Margaret Taylor helped us more than anybody.
:17:05. > :17:08.Without her, I don't know what we'd have done.
:17:09. > :17:13.She bought us various houses and put us up in Oxford,
:17:14. > :17:18.in a little studio place in the grounds and so on.
:17:19. > :17:23.Were you ever in total want, in destitution in Laugharne?
:17:24. > :17:29.We put the food bills down and we put the drink on tick
:17:30. > :17:34.until the patroness came down and paid them off every now and then.
:17:35. > :17:39.Was it that Dylan didn't have money or that he was prodigal with it?
:17:40. > :17:48.But as soon as he got a bit, we used to drink it.
:17:49. > :17:52.I used to try to steal a few pounds for the Carmarthen market,
:17:53. > :17:56.for dishes, pots, pans, shawls and blankets.
:17:57. > :18:04.but occasionally I'd steal the odd pound to buy plates and so on.
:18:05. > :18:07.Steal it from the drinking money? Yes.
:18:08. > :18:15.At what stage did things start to go publicly wrong?
:18:16. > :18:19.You began to have scenes with Dylan, didn't you? Yes.
:18:20. > :18:23.It wasn't about the money, it was about the infidelity.
:18:24. > :18:29.It took some time to sink into my damn head.
:18:30. > :18:37.I was left in Laugharne and most of Dylan's adventures, or whatever,
:18:38. > :18:41.went on in London. He'd just disappear for a few weeks.
:18:42. > :18:44.I'd hear nothing. I didn't know where to ring him.
:18:45. > :18:49.He'd say he'd had the most ghastly flu.
:18:50. > :18:54.Possibly, he'd been drinking and flopping into bed with any woman.
:18:55. > :18:57.That was not serious at all as far as he was concerned.
:18:58. > :19:01.I couldn't care less about the flu or the drinking,
:19:02. > :19:04.but the infidelity I just couldn't take.
:19:05. > :19:07.I was murderous. I just killed him for that.
:19:08. > :19:14.I remember, after coming back, after a drinking evening in Laugharne,
:19:15. > :19:17.we had the most appalling fights in the bedroom,
:19:18. > :19:20.tearing him on the ground by those curls
:19:21. > :19:23.and banging his head on the floor as hard as I could.
:19:24. > :19:28.I was a bit stronger than him and he seemed to allow me to do it.
:19:29. > :19:32.He must have fought back, but I don't remember him hitting me.
:19:33. > :19:35.You used to fight physically with him? Oh, God, yes.
:19:36. > :19:40.Once, I took a torch and banged him on the head.
:19:41. > :19:45."Do you realise you might be killing an immortal poet?"
:19:46. > :19:48.I couldn't care. I didn't give a damn.
:19:49. > :19:54.He was quite prepared to pay the price to these patronesses.
:19:55. > :19:58.If they wanted to go to bed with him, he was going to do it.
:19:59. > :20:04.he'd speak on the phone for five hours with this bloody woman.
:20:05. > :20:09.Something stopped me interrupting, I don't know what it was.
:20:10. > :20:15.I'd noticed, even in America, when he started getting off with a woman,
:20:16. > :20:22.I was so cut out of the picture, I somehow felt I couldn't interfere.
:20:23. > :20:28.People say, and he may have said, these things were only incidents.
:20:29. > :20:35.Yes, right. I believe that and so he said.
:20:36. > :20:39.I just couldn't take him doing the physical act with anyone else.
:20:40. > :20:42.I did not accept that in any way whatsoever.
:20:43. > :20:50.Nevertheless, I should add I was partly trying to keep up with him,
:20:51. > :20:53.having my revenge down with the local oafs.
:20:54. > :20:57.I was by no means leading a dutiful, virtuous life.
:20:58. > :21:01.When he wasn't there, I was drinking as much as I could
:21:02. > :21:05.and behaving in a most unconventional way.
:21:06. > :21:19.I didn't want him as a bed mate, I wanted him completely faithful.
:21:20. > :21:26.We both had this image of each other which was quite ridiculous.
:21:27. > :21:30.We wanted the other one to be perfectly faithful.
:21:31. > :21:34.We knew what we did was of no importance at all.
:21:35. > :21:38.I was really following in his footsteps.
:21:39. > :21:41.I was trying to out-do him and be worse than him.
:21:42. > :21:48.Dylan was invited to America in 1950 by Malcolm Brinnin,
:21:49. > :21:51.who ran the Poetry Centre in New York.
:21:52. > :21:55.Brinnin arranged two more tours. Caitlin went on the second trip.
:21:56. > :21:59.It was a barn storming, boozing coast-to-coast tour.
:22:00. > :22:03.Caitlin said they were an excuse for idleness and infidelity.
:22:04. > :22:06.We weren't used to that kind of thing.
:22:07. > :22:10.You never get all that arse licking in England.
:22:11. > :22:16.I don't blame him. I was probably very envious
:22:17. > :22:25.All that overdoing it is very bad for anybody
:22:26. > :22:29.unless you are terribly civilised, rich and used to it.
:22:30. > :22:35.Very few people, least of all us, could stand up to it.
:22:36. > :22:41.He worked hard with his readings and his tours.
:22:42. > :22:48.He did both. It was an impossible job to drink all the time
:22:49. > :22:51.and to give these very concentrated readings.
:22:52. > :22:55.He was flying all over, one on top of the other.
:22:56. > :22:58.It must have been gruelling hard for him.
:22:59. > :23:02.He could have only just done it well without the drink.
:23:03. > :23:06.He did it, he gave the whole of himself to his reading
:23:07. > :23:09.and the whole of himself to his company.
:23:10. > :23:12.It's just impossible for a physical person.
:23:13. > :23:15.And there were infidelities too in America?
:23:16. > :23:19.Oh my God, those bloody American women are shameless.
:23:20. > :23:23.They were sending him flowers, that kind of thing.
:23:24. > :23:29.They were all over him. It really filled me with disgust,
:23:30. > :23:34.the whole picture, the way these women flung themselves at him.
:23:35. > :23:37.Talking about the American business and the infidelity,
:23:38. > :23:45.Do Liz and Sarah mean anything in particular?
:23:46. > :23:49.They ring a rather horrible bell with me.
:23:50. > :23:58.There was that Pearl one. Is that the one you mean?
:23:59. > :24:01.The one he was alleged to have been serious about.
:24:02. > :24:06.She wrote him endless letters and he used to keep them in his pockets.
:24:07. > :24:11.I used to read all the letters. He didn't bother to read them.
:24:12. > :24:15.That worried me. That upset me a hell of a lot.
:24:16. > :24:21.The first I heard of that was when Margaret Taylor came down
:24:22. > :24:24.to say she'd come over from America to meet him in London
:24:25. > :24:28.and she was covered in all these dangly things.
:24:29. > :24:34.There was I, slaving away in the bogs with my children.
:24:35. > :24:39.There was he, gallivanting. I was absolutely mad with rage.
:24:40. > :24:51.I think I wrote a very rude letter, an abusive letter, to her.
:24:52. > :24:56.I don't know if she ever got it or anything.
:24:57. > :25:03.Yet, he told everyone that when he was away from you,
:25:04. > :25:06.he found life impossible and unbearable.
:25:07. > :25:10.He apparently told Brinnin that he loved two women.
:25:11. > :25:15.At this time, with Pearl, he loved two women, me and her.
:25:16. > :25:23.I remember that was the time I was pregnant with Colm.
:25:24. > :25:30.I think that was the only reason, because Dylan was sentimental,
:25:31. > :25:32.that he stuck to me rather than Pearl.
:25:33. > :25:35.He obviously was pretty serious about her.
:25:36. > :25:39.Me, he just made fun of "that stupid old bitch".
:25:40. > :25:43."She's been following me around, being a bloody nuisance."
:25:44. > :25:48.He never admitted it. He'd never dream to come clean with me.
:25:49. > :25:51.Yet, he wrote you the most moving love letters.
:25:52. > :25:56.Yes, all the time, as though I was the only woman that existed in life.
:25:57. > :26:02.Yes, some of them were very beautiful.
:26:03. > :26:06.It makes a queer impression to read them later on.
:26:07. > :26:12.He had to have that image on a pedestal.
:26:13. > :26:17.I think it had nothing to do with the real me that we all go on about.
:26:18. > :26:21.I don't think anything a man really loves is real,
:26:22. > :26:27.What do you think it was that destroyed Dylan?
:26:28. > :26:34.I think it was a combination of all those things.
:26:35. > :26:45.He went to all his worst weaknesses and his indulgences.
:26:46. > :26:50.He had no strength of character or discipline.
:26:51. > :26:55.There was no hardness, the kind of things you'd expect in a man.
:26:56. > :26:59.He was just a piece of bread, as they'd say in Italy.
:27:00. > :27:02.He was just lovely and loved by everybody.
:27:03. > :27:05.That's wrong. A man has to have a bit of ruthlessness.
:27:06. > :27:11.Went he went to America, he was just eaten alive.
:27:12. > :27:15.Eaten alive? Yes. He was eaten alive by America.
:27:16. > :27:18.All these women and the booze, the lot.
:27:19. > :27:24.Did he want to go back the last time? He would crave it.
:27:25. > :27:28.Like a man with drugs, he just craved for more and more.
:27:29. > :27:33.When he came back to Wales, I used to forbid him to go.
:27:34. > :27:37.I did everything to persuade him not to go.
:27:38. > :27:43.But he was completely stuck on it. He couldn't resist anymore.
:27:44. > :27:50.but he was the one who asked Brinnin to get more engagements.
:27:51. > :27:54.I thought Brinnin was luring him, but it was really Dylan.
:27:55. > :27:59.I blamed, I think I blamed Brinnin wrongly.
:28:00. > :28:04.Although, in the beginning, it was Brinnin who suggested all this.
:28:05. > :28:08.It was said you were jealous of his success out there.
:28:09. > :28:12.I probably was. I wouldn't have admitted it then.
:28:13. > :28:16.But naturally, I'd have preferred to have had the success myself.
:28:17. > :28:22.In fact, I never went to his readings, which is very suspicious.
:28:23. > :28:26.It is rather boring to listen to poetry reading,
:28:27. > :28:30.but I think there must be more to it than that.
:28:31. > :28:37.What I hated most was all these young girls and students
:28:38. > :28:44.and screaming at him as though he was a pop singer.
:28:45. > :28:49.In the universities, I didn't mind it.
:28:50. > :28:58.Can you remember much about that traumatic experience of his death
:28:59. > :29:01.when you went across there and collapsed?
:29:02. > :29:10.I can remember some pretty awful things about myself.
:29:11. > :29:14.I can remember being drunk on the plane.
:29:15. > :29:22.I remember the farewell lunch they gave me in that lobster place.
:29:23. > :29:29.It was the last thing thinking of Dylan dying there.
:29:30. > :29:32.It was just like a celebrating party.
:29:33. > :29:42.They were kind of making merry and drinking.
:29:43. > :29:45.They pushed me on the plane eventually.
:29:46. > :29:50.I found a place on the plane where there was a little bar.
:29:51. > :29:53.I didn't know it existed, but I found it.
:29:54. > :29:57.I drank a lot of whisky on the plane.
:29:58. > :30:01.When I arrived, I must have been pretty dead drunk.
:30:02. > :30:04.Finally, they conducted me to the hospital.
:30:05. > :30:10.They kind of pushed me through because I had precedence.
:30:11. > :30:15.Then I saw Dylan in the oxygen tent and they left me there.
:30:16. > :30:22.I really didn't know what to do at all...
:30:23. > :30:29.I just sat on the bed and started to roll a cigarette.
:30:30. > :30:34.There were all these other people behind the glass partition, gazing.
:30:35. > :30:39.Presumably, his other woman, I don't know if it was Sarah or Liz,
:30:40. > :30:48.Brinnin and a lot of fans were on the other side of the partition.
:30:49. > :30:52.I couldn't think what I ought to do to perform to them.
:30:53. > :30:55.The last thing I was thinking of was Dylan
:30:56. > :30:58.because he didn't seem to be there at all.
:30:59. > :31:01.As soon as I saw him, I knew he wasn't there.
:31:02. > :31:08.He was gone and he'd never come back.
:31:09. > :31:12.I couldn't regret marrying Dylan. It was an experience of a lifetime.
:31:13. > :31:17.He was a marvellous person. It's just I didn't want to share him.
:31:18. > :32:14.I couldn't have someone who's made for everybody all for myself.
:32:15. > :32:20.Fein is arrested tonight in connection with the murder of a
:32:21. > :32:24.woman killed by the IRA in 1972. We have the latest.
:32:25. > :32:31.How society is dividing into a vast number of have-nots and a very small
:32:32. > :32:35.number of have-lots, and lots, and lots. Why social inequality is
:32:36. > :32:40.predicted to get worse and what, if anything, we ought to do about it.
:32:41. > :32:41.We talk to the French economist who has written what's been