0:00:08 > 0:00:11When I had my first daughter, it was a lovely experience.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14She was born and handed to me and we kept just looking at each other
0:00:14 > 0:00:17and smiling and it was just a lovely, lovely day.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20Which was just an absolute world apart from the day
0:00:20 > 0:00:23when the twins were born.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26The room was silent. It was just filled with anxiety.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28And, "Are they alive?"
0:00:33 > 0:00:37Like Adele, I know that feeling of terror when things aren't right
0:00:37 > 0:00:40because three of my children were born premature.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44My first son, David, was born six weeks early
0:00:44 > 0:00:47and my next son, Archie, was 18 weeks premature.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Sadly, I lost him seconds after he was born.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53But my daughter, Polly, was born at 33 weeks
0:00:53 > 0:00:56and is now a happy and healthy three-year-old.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58I can only begin to tell you how terrifying
0:00:58 > 0:01:00each experience was for me.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03I felt isolated and completely helpless.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06That's why I feel so passionate about telling you
0:01:06 > 0:01:09how you can help other families in the same situation.
0:01:11 > 0:01:1418 weeks into her pregnancy, Adele Joicey went for a routine scan
0:01:14 > 0:01:18to see how her twin boys were developing.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20But the news wasn't good.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Her placenta was failing,
0:01:22 > 0:01:25threatening the development of both twins.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27The pregnancy was always beset by worry.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31I really wanted to enjoy it but I never did because
0:01:31 > 0:01:34if they were really quiet, I would worry that one of them had died.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Adele went into labour very early
0:01:38 > 0:01:42and was rushed to hospital ten weeks before her due date.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45It's just that horrible, surreal feeling and panic
0:01:45 > 0:01:47and, "Why me?"
0:01:47 > 0:01:50They were born and they were taken straightaway.
0:01:50 > 0:01:55It was just really, really scary. I never got to see the babies.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58With the twins being worked on in intensive care,
0:01:58 > 0:02:02Adele spent hours feeling completely helpless.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05You didn't have your baby. You didn't see your baby.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07You didn't even know what they looked like.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11You didn't know if they were OK. It's a really lonely time.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16I know that if there had been a dedicated person around
0:02:16 > 0:02:17to speak to after my kids were born,
0:02:17 > 0:02:21someone who appreciated exactly what I was going through,
0:02:21 > 0:02:23it would have made a massive difference to me.
0:02:25 > 0:02:29And that's why I'm appealing to you on behalf of Bliss,
0:02:29 > 0:02:31a charity who give you just that.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34They provide specially trained nurses to support families
0:02:34 > 0:02:38through what is always a really difficult and worrying time.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Sue Thompson is the Bliss nurse based in the neo-natal unit
0:02:41 > 0:02:45in Middlesbrough, where Adele gave birth to her babies.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48100% of my time is dedicated to looking after families,
0:02:48 > 0:02:51so I always say to parents, I am here for them.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53I do a lot of talking and a lot of listening.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57Sue's role is to offer specialist emotional
0:02:57 > 0:02:59and practical support to parents and families
0:02:59 > 0:03:03whose babies are born premature, sick or stillborn.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07The emotion you associate with childbirth of joy, elation,
0:03:07 > 0:03:08and relief isn't there.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11The word that every parent uses on the neo-natal unit
0:03:11 > 0:03:13is that it's a roller coaster.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15There are so many ups and downs.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17And actually, it's just trying to support families
0:03:17 > 0:03:18through those times.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Shortly after Adele's twins were born,
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Sue came and introduced herself.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25I remember the first time I met her.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27She pulled up a chair and made herself comfortable.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30It felt like she was a new best friend.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32I felt like I could tell her anything.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Meeting someone who understood her fears
0:03:35 > 0:03:39was a huge relief for Adele because after the constant anxiety
0:03:39 > 0:03:42of her pregnancy and the traumatic birth,
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Adele was shocked by her own reaction
0:03:44 > 0:03:46to seeing her babies for the first time.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49I don't think anything can prepare you for that moment
0:03:49 > 0:03:51when you see them.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53There seems to be more wires and machines than baby.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56The first time I saw Luke he cried.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00I wanted to just reach and hold him and I couldn't.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04And I remember just putting my hands on the incubator.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06You couldn't hold him.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15But for Adele, the barrier created by Luke's incubator
0:04:15 > 0:04:19was starting to develop into a fear of getting too close to him.
0:04:19 > 0:04:24It sounds awful, but I never wanted to pick up Luke
0:04:24 > 0:04:27because I was so scared I would hold him and you were watching this tiny,
0:04:27 > 0:04:32tiny baby and his chest was absolutely heaving
0:04:32 > 0:04:35and fighting for air.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38I felt like I was the worst mother in the world,
0:04:38 > 0:04:41feeling like I didn't want to hold this precious little baby.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Adele shared her fears with Sue.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46I didn't think for one minute she would judge this.
0:04:46 > 0:04:51It was just someone who you could open up to and say anything to.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Parents can be petrified.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Sometimes that baby has all sorts of wires sticking out of him
0:04:56 > 0:04:59from various different parts of the body
0:04:59 > 0:05:01and I can just sit and explain what each wire is,
0:05:01 > 0:05:04where is a good position to hold the baby
0:05:04 > 0:05:07and I don't have to rush off and do anything else.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10If it takes an hour to get a parent to feel comfortable
0:05:10 > 0:05:13touching the baby, that's just an hour of my day.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Nothing else is waiting to happen.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18With her years of experience, Sue understood what was needed
0:05:18 > 0:05:22to help forge the bond between Adele and her son, Luke.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24She made us realise, there's nothing wrong with you.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27It's just you are frightened of the situation, not him.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31She gave us the confidence to keep trying and keep getting him out.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33And I did get my confidence with him.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Having a Bliss nurse on a busy ward where shifts are constantly
0:05:38 > 0:05:41changing means that families always have that one person
0:05:41 > 0:05:44they can turn to with questions about things they don't
0:05:44 > 0:05:46understand and they've got a shoulder to cry on
0:05:46 > 0:05:48when things get too much.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53She was so knowledgeable and she could answer your questions
0:05:53 > 0:05:56and if she couldn't, she would go and get someone who could.
0:05:56 > 0:06:00The nurses were there for the babies, but Sue was there for me.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Adele and her husband spent 12 weeks juggling their time
0:06:04 > 0:06:07between the twins, who were in different hospital wards,
0:06:07 > 0:06:09and two other children at home.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12But with support from Bliss, Adele got through it
0:06:12 > 0:06:15and the day came when the twins could leave hospital.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Getting the babies home was like you were coming to the end
0:06:19 > 0:06:21of a very, very long journey.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24It was just lovely.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27A long journey, but we got there.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31And the care doesn't end when families leave hospital.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34With a national network of volunteers,
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Bliss has helped set up special groups for families
0:06:36 > 0:06:40of premature babies to make sure they feel supported
0:06:40 > 0:06:43as their babies negotiate their first few months and years of life.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Most importantly of all, Bliss nurses are there to help
0:06:49 > 0:06:53families cope with the distress of having a premature or sick baby,
0:06:53 > 0:06:57which can all too often leave parents permanently traumatised.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00The time you spend on a neo-natal unit,
0:07:00 > 0:07:04no matter how long it is, whether it be days, weeks or months,
0:07:04 > 0:07:08has an impact on the way you will view the future probably
0:07:08 > 0:07:10with yourself and your children.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13I would just hope that if there was a Bliss nurse in every unit,
0:07:13 > 0:07:17the incidents of the emotional trauma would be much lessened.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20I think Sue saved us from going under.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26She saved me, so then I could look after my babies.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Are you going to tell me a story?
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Is that what happened?
0:07:33 > 0:07:37Over 80,000 babies are born either premature or sick each year,
0:07:37 > 0:07:40so that's a lot of parents in need of specialist support.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43Bliss was to make sure that every family
0:07:43 > 0:07:46of a premature or sick baby in the UK gets the vital help
0:07:46 > 0:07:49and support they need at this distressing time.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53Having a Bliss nurse in every neo-natal unit in the country
0:07:53 > 0:07:56would make an enormous difference to parents.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58You can help make that happen right now.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Please go to the website bbc.co.uk/lifeline
0:08:01 > 0:08:03where you can donate.
0:08:03 > 0:08:08If you haven't got internet access, please call 0800 011 011.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11And if you can't get through the first time, please keep trying.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Telephone calls are free from most landlines.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17Some networks and mobile operators will charge for these calls.
0:08:17 > 0:08:22You can also donate £10 by texting SUPPORT to 70121.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Texts cost £10 plus your standard network message charge
0:08:25 > 0:08:28and the whole £10 goes to Bliss.
0:08:28 > 0:08:33Full terms and conditions can be found at bbc.co.uk/lifeline.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Or if you would like to post a donation,
0:08:35 > 0:08:37please make your cheque payable to Bliss
0:08:37 > 0:08:40and send it to Freepost, BBC Lifeline Appeal,
0:08:40 > 0:08:42writing Bliss on the back of the envelope.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45If you want the charity to claim gift aid on your donation,
0:08:45 > 0:08:47please include an e-mail or postal address
0:08:47 > 0:08:49so that they can send you a gift aid form.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50Thank you.