0:00:12 > 0:00:17To his army colleagues, my father was a remarkable man.
0:00:17 > 0:00:21A soldier for many years, he was a man of discipline,
0:00:21 > 0:00:24organisation and charisma -
0:00:24 > 0:00:27regimental sergeant major, no less.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29But when his military service ended,
0:00:29 > 0:00:32I knew a different side of him.
0:00:32 > 0:00:36My mother, brother and I had to live with an unpredictable and
0:00:36 > 0:00:42frustrated man, unable at times to control his emotions or his fists.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45I was seven years old when I first saw him hit my mother
0:00:45 > 0:00:48and it happened frequently throughout my childhood.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52I never understood why he was so volatile at home,
0:00:52 > 0:00:56while in his military career he had been a superstar.
0:00:56 > 0:01:00But it was only two years ago I discovered that my father had
0:01:00 > 0:01:04suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder,
0:01:04 > 0:01:07a debilitating psychological condition
0:01:07 > 0:01:09that affects ex-servicemen,
0:01:09 > 0:01:11often when they've left the battlefield
0:01:11 > 0:01:13and returned to civilian life.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17It's difficult for me to imagine
0:01:17 > 0:01:19what he must have been going through.
0:01:19 > 0:01:23But I now know how important it is to get
0:01:23 > 0:01:26help for the thousands of ex-servicemen who suffer
0:01:26 > 0:01:28from this condition
0:01:28 > 0:01:31and the loved ones and families who suffer too.
0:01:31 > 0:01:36James Saunders was deployed to the first Gulf War in 1991,
0:01:36 > 0:01:38at the age of 20.
0:01:38 > 0:01:42While in the field, he was caught in a friendly fire situation
0:01:42 > 0:01:46that almost cost him his life.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48You're just stood there, seeing your friends on fire,
0:01:48 > 0:01:50jumping out of wagons and things like that.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53You just have to go in and pick up guys and rescue them
0:01:53 > 0:01:55and get the hell out of there.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58You are constantly on alert - anything could happen at any moment.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01After the war, James returned to Britain,
0:02:01 > 0:02:05where he found out he was due to be a father.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07But things began to unravel
0:02:07 > 0:02:11when he suffered a devastating personal tragedy.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14My relationship deteriorated with my partner at the time and...
0:02:14 > 0:02:18Unfortunately, she lost the baby at birth
0:02:18 > 0:02:19and that was my trigger.
0:02:19 > 0:02:25Struggling to cope, James's mind kept returning to the battlefield.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28'I was having flashbacks to the friendly fire situation.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30'I was seeing the burning oil rigs.
0:02:30 > 0:02:34'I didn't comprehend why those things were coming back to haunt me.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37'Ended up using alcohol and drugs to cope
0:02:37 > 0:02:40'and I left the army in October '93.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43'I'd lost everything by that time.'
0:02:43 > 0:02:46James's situation got worse and worse.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50'I was behaving violently, verbally and physically.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53'I couldn't stop this behaviour, I couldn't control it.'
0:02:53 > 0:02:57It came to a head and I got into serious trouble with the police.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00In order for James to deal with these problems, he needed
0:03:00 > 0:03:05help to tackle the psychological injuries sustained in service.
0:03:05 > 0:03:10Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, can destroy lives.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12It's incredibly common.
0:03:12 > 0:03:18One-in-five veterans will develop PTSD or related psychological trauma
0:03:18 > 0:03:21when they return from active service.
0:03:21 > 0:03:25With your help, we can tackle this problem.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27That's why I'm appealing to you
0:03:27 > 0:03:30on behalf of Combat Stress,
0:03:30 > 0:03:34the leading charity for war veterans suffering from PTSD
0:03:34 > 0:03:36and other mental health conditions.
0:03:36 > 0:03:42The pressures of combat can affect soldiers wherever they're deployed.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Gary Driscoll undertook five tours of Northern Ireland,
0:03:45 > 0:03:50much of it spent on the notoriously dangerous Belfast streets.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Within them five tours,
0:03:52 > 0:03:55I think there's been about six guys
0:03:55 > 0:03:58I've known that have died.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00You just literally had to get on with it.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02So you kind of put it to the back of your head.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05But the stress of what he'd experienced began to
0:04:05 > 0:04:08take its toll on Gary and his wife.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12Anxiety was setting in, where we'd go to a restaurant
0:04:12 > 0:04:16and I would insist, I would always make sure I had my back to the wall.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18'I was getting to drink too much.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21'After a while, the anger started to show.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23'She would then get quite scared, and then,
0:04:23 > 0:04:26'"Who is this guy? He's a different person."
0:04:26 > 0:04:29'I was thrown out for about a couple of months.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32'That was, I think, the turning point.'
0:04:32 > 0:04:36It needs to be remembered that servicemen and women have often
0:04:36 > 0:04:39had to endure month after month
0:04:39 > 0:04:42of extreme, high-stress situations.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45It's hard for the brain to cope
0:04:45 > 0:04:50and, years later, former soldiers can still be struggling to process
0:04:50 > 0:04:51those awful experiences.
0:04:51 > 0:04:56To make things even tougher to deal with for men like my father,
0:04:56 > 0:04:59any hint of mental instability
0:04:59 > 0:05:02can be an embarrassment -
0:05:02 > 0:05:04something to be ashamed of.
0:05:04 > 0:05:10At Combat Stress, therapists work hard to tackle this perception.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Their three residential centres
0:05:12 > 0:05:15provide a place where veterans are able to open up
0:05:15 > 0:05:17about their experiences.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19We have our residential treatment centres,
0:05:19 > 0:05:22which bring people in and offer treatment programmes for things
0:05:22 > 0:05:25like post-traumatic stress disorder,
0:05:25 > 0:05:27anxiety, depression.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28Rebuilding their lives and
0:05:28 > 0:05:30their confidence is the key.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Cin-cin!
0:05:32 > 0:05:35Combat Stress offer something totally unique -
0:05:35 > 0:05:38a safe, welcoming environment
0:05:38 > 0:05:40where veterans can be with other veterans,
0:05:40 > 0:05:42men and women who are going through
0:05:42 > 0:05:44the same thing as themselves.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47I rolled up, very sceptical,
0:05:47 > 0:05:51and sort of within hours, I felt at home.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54James attended a Combat Stress treatment centre
0:05:54 > 0:05:56regularly for six years,
0:05:56 > 0:05:58where occupational therapy proved
0:05:58 > 0:06:01to be a major tool in his recovery.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04It gives an opportunity for veterans
0:06:04 > 0:06:08to express what they're feeling
0:06:08 > 0:06:10and channel these anxieties,
0:06:10 > 0:06:13whether it is through painting, modelling, drawing.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15'For me, it was photography.
0:06:15 > 0:06:16'I just found a passion,
0:06:16 > 0:06:18which I hadn't had for a very long time.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21James has now set up his own photography business
0:06:21 > 0:06:25and moved in with his girlfriend.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Combat Stress has provided support,
0:06:28 > 0:06:30provided care at every turn.
0:06:30 > 0:06:31They've provided something to
0:06:31 > 0:06:34allow me to take those steps on my own.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37I wouldn't have been able to turn my life around
0:06:37 > 0:06:39if it hadn't have been for them.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Following three years of treatment for PTSD,
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Gary was able to put the constant strain
0:06:45 > 0:06:47of his army experiences behind him.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Combat Stress teaches you to think about how to
0:06:51 > 0:06:53turn that switch off.
0:06:53 > 0:06:54And since then I drink moderately.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56I don't have to get drunk when I drink.
0:06:56 > 0:06:57We have a great time,
0:06:57 > 0:06:59my marriage is absolutely brilliant.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Life's really good.
0:07:02 > 0:07:07I wish that I had been able to tell my father about Combat Stress.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11So far, this charity has helped to give over 100,000
0:07:11 > 0:07:16ex-servicemen and women the tools to deal with their
0:07:16 > 0:07:20mental health conditions and move on with their lives.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24But now there is more need for Combat Stress than ever before.
0:07:24 > 0:07:29Thousands of our returning veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan
0:07:29 > 0:07:33will develop psychological problems at some point in their lives.
0:07:35 > 0:07:40Combat Stress must be able to offer them the same level of help,
0:07:40 > 0:07:44guidance and support that they have always offered.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46With your help, they can.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49To donate, please go to the website...
0:07:53 > 0:07:57If you haven't got internet access, please call...
0:07:59 > 0:08:04And if you can't get through the first time, please keep trying.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07You can also donate £10 by texting...
0:08:10 > 0:08:15Texts cost £10, plus your standard network message charge
0:08:15 > 0:08:19and the whole £10 goes to Combat Stress.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Full terms and conditions can be found at
0:08:21 > 0:08:26bbc.co.uk/lifeline.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Telephone calls are free from most landlines.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33Some networks and mobile operators will charge for these calls.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Or if you'd like to post a donation,
0:08:35 > 0:08:39please make your cheque payable to Combat Stress
0:08:39 > 0:08:42and send it to Freepost, BBC Lifeline Appeal,
0:08:42 > 0:08:46writing Combat Stress on the back of the envelope.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49And if you want the charity to claim Gift Aid on your donation,
0:08:49 > 0:08:52please include an e-mail or postal address,
0:08:52 > 0:08:56so that they can send you a Gift Aid form.
0:08:56 > 0:08:57And thank you.