0:00:08 > 0:00:13My favourite memory of my mum goes back to her competitive spirit.
0:00:13 > 0:00:18She used to love her swimming. She won medals when she was a teenager.
0:00:18 > 0:00:21I met Gordon when I was 16.
0:00:21 > 0:00:25We used to dance the night away. We just had a good time.
0:00:25 > 0:00:29My first memory of my dad is going to the football, Huddersfield Town.
0:00:29 > 0:00:33He took me when I was three years old and we've been going ever since.
0:00:36 > 0:00:41Our memories are precious. They're the essence of who we are.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43We learn from them and they can be a way to bring
0:00:43 > 0:00:47happiness into the present by recalling the past.
0:00:47 > 0:00:52But what if they were taken away from us or from the ones we love?
0:00:54 > 0:00:56This is me with my mother Dee.
0:00:56 > 0:01:00Dee lived with dementia for about four years.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03It was a very tough time for the whole family,
0:01:03 > 0:01:07witnessing her deteriorating week by week, month by month.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10She died in 1995, aged 81.
0:01:11 > 0:01:17In the UK, there are 850,000 people living with dementia,
0:01:17 > 0:01:21a condition that currently has no cure, but fortunately there is
0:01:21 > 0:01:26a charity called Dementia UK, working tirelessly to support them
0:01:26 > 0:01:30and their families through this very difficult journey.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Mum's always been a strong character.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37I'm very close to Mum
0:01:37 > 0:01:39and after Dad died, I think
0:01:39 > 0:01:41I took over that role in her life.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45I started to notice the changes when Mum was about 83.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49She was struggling with figures and struggling with bills.
0:01:49 > 0:01:50It was quite disturbing
0:01:50 > 0:01:56because her working life revolved around money, figures and numbers.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59I had to take the electric kettle away.
0:01:59 > 0:02:04That's because she'd just fill it with water, light the gas hob
0:02:04 > 0:02:07and then stick the electric kettle on the gas hob.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09She started putting the iron down on the carpet -
0:02:09 > 0:02:14dangerous things that were a real threat to her health and safety.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18Richard's mum was diagnosed with dementia in 2008.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Mum's GP said, "Richard,
0:02:22 > 0:02:26"you do realise this is going to kill your mum, don't you?"
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Sorry. And...
0:02:29 > 0:02:32I looked at him and just...
0:02:32 > 0:02:34I don't think I said anything.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38I just gave him a hard look and...
0:02:38 > 0:02:39It brought it home to me.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44There comes a point, when dealing with the illness,
0:02:44 > 0:02:45that you just get overwhelmed
0:02:45 > 0:02:48and if you don't get that support and help,
0:02:48 > 0:02:50you're just going to fall apart
0:02:50 > 0:02:52trying to deal with the dementia.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56It was then that the mental health nurse said to me, "You know,
0:02:56 > 0:03:00"actually, Richard, it's not your mum I'm worried about, it's you."
0:03:01 > 0:03:04There are many families across the UK just like Richard's
0:03:04 > 0:03:06who are facing dementia alone.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11It's a frightening prospect and places huge strain on people,
0:03:11 > 0:03:15both physically and mentally.
0:03:15 > 0:03:16That's all right, now take your time.
0:03:16 > 0:03:20That's why Dementia UK provides specialist nurses
0:03:20 > 0:03:22known as Admiral Nurses.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24They offer practical and emotional support
0:03:24 > 0:03:26both in local communities
0:03:26 > 0:03:28and through the Admiral Nurse Dementia Helpline,
0:03:28 > 0:03:30giving families the skills
0:03:30 > 0:03:33and confidence they need to continue when things are really tough.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39Hello, my mum! How are you?
0:03:39 > 0:03:44The Admiral Nurse said to me, "Your mum needs professional care
0:03:44 > 0:03:49"and support and you need to have the comfort of knowing that she's
0:03:49 > 0:03:50"in a safe environment,
0:03:50 > 0:03:52"that she's not at risk."
0:03:52 > 0:03:56I'm the only person in the world that Mum recognises now.
0:03:56 > 0:04:01She looks forward to me coming in. It's what gives meaning to her life.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06Over the last three years,
0:04:06 > 0:04:1128,000 families who've been affected by dementia have directly benefited
0:04:11 > 0:04:15from the charity's helpline and demand is growing year-on-year.
0:04:17 > 0:04:18Katie is an Admiral Nurse
0:04:18 > 0:04:22and her role involves supporting families face-to-face.
0:04:22 > 0:04:27Main role of an Admiral Nurse is to support the family carer.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29We're mental health nurses.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32We have extra experience and expertise in
0:04:32 > 0:04:36working with families and supporting somebody living with dementia.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39I love my job, it's such an honour when families invite me
0:04:39 > 0:04:42into their home and they begin to get to know me and build up
0:04:42 > 0:04:46that therapeutic relationship, which is paramount to the work that
0:04:46 > 0:04:50we're doing because we often see people in the most vulnerable times.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53For the last few years,
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Katie has supported families across West Yorkshire.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59One such couple is Gordon and his wife Agnes.
0:04:59 > 0:05:04In 2012, Gordon's behaviour started to change
0:05:04 > 0:05:06and after 18 months of concern from his family,
0:05:06 > 0:05:09he was diagnosed with dementia.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11He was a very quiet person.
0:05:11 > 0:05:16He's always been an Elvis Presley fan, had a quiff like Elvis.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Been married 56 year
0:05:19 > 0:05:21and we're still together
0:05:21 > 0:05:23and the love is still there
0:05:23 > 0:05:26and that's why it's been so hard to let go.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30By taking my dad to the football,
0:05:30 > 0:05:33it does give me mum that extra break that she needs.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36She then doesn't have to worry about me dad.
0:05:38 > 0:05:43I don't think he can remember it after the game, but in that moment,
0:05:43 > 0:05:46when he's at the game, he looks as though he's enjoying it
0:05:46 > 0:05:49and that pleases me because he has still got a bit of a life.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54He's not the man I married, definitely not.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57He's completely changed.
0:05:57 > 0:06:01His behaviour at times was so unpredictable.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Aggressiveness towards me mum.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05The effect it's had on me mum is...
0:06:05 > 0:06:07she's had to stop her life to look after me dad.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11I've got to be with him everywhere. Got to bath him,
0:06:11 > 0:06:15I've got to see him go to the toilet. He doesn't know what's what.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20When he went missing was the worst night of my life.
0:06:20 > 0:06:25A night I don't ever really want to go through again.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27We all thought he weren't coming back.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30And when it broke daylight, I just said...
0:06:30 > 0:06:33I won't have us a husband any more.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36He were found 14 hours later.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Emotionally it affects me a lot and there's times
0:06:40 > 0:06:42when I've sat in here crying.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46There's been a lot of tears, really.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Since Gordon was diagnosed,
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Dementia UK has been a lifeline for the family.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Through regular visits,
0:06:56 > 0:07:00Katie has offered practical support to keep Gordon safe and
0:07:00 > 0:07:04emotional support to help Agnes and the family cope with the situation.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08Katie's my angel, the Admiral Nurse.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10I can let all out to her,
0:07:10 > 0:07:13what's happened from one visit to the next visit.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15And that was difficult for you to manage?
0:07:15 > 0:07:19And she'll advise me, calming me down.
0:07:19 > 0:07:24You know what they say, you marry them for better or for worse.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28We've been down there but Katie's lifted me up now.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Stories like Richard's and his mother's, and that of Gordon
0:07:34 > 0:07:39and Agnes, highlight the tremendous strain dementia can put on a family
0:07:39 > 0:07:41and how well a charity like Dementia UK can help.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47I know from experience with my own mum how hard it can be to cope
0:07:47 > 0:07:50when a loved one gets dementia.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52Because of that, I believe passionately that
0:07:52 > 0:07:56everyone who needs the support of an Admiral Nurse,
0:07:56 > 0:08:00like the ones provided by the charity, should have access to one.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04To increase the number of Admiral Nurses within communities
0:08:04 > 0:08:08and on the Admiral Nurse Dementia Helpline, we need your help.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11To give by phone, call...
0:08:14 > 0:08:18Calls are free from mobiles and landlines. Text...
0:08:23 > 0:08:27Texts cost £10 plus your standard network message charge
0:08:27 > 0:08:31and the whole £10 goes to Dementia UK.
0:08:31 > 0:08:35For full terms and conditions or to make a donation online, visit
0:08:35 > 0:08:37the Lifeline website at...
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Or if you'd like to post a donation,
0:08:44 > 0:08:47please make your cheque payable to Dementia UK and send it to
0:08:47 > 0:08:50Freepost, BBC Lifeline Appeal,
0:08:50 > 0:08:53writing Dementia UK on the back of the envelope.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Thank you.