0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07This is the story of famous pensioners who leave behind wealth, comfort and busy lives...
0:00:07 > 0:00:09Why do they keep me alive?
0:00:09 > 0:00:12..to move in with the UK's forgotten old people.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Hi. I'm Lesley.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17People who live on the edge of all our lives...
0:00:19 > 0:00:22..dealing with the grind of poverty...
0:00:22 > 0:00:27Sometimes I feel as though I'd be better off dead.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30..the pain of caring for someone...
0:00:30 > 0:00:34He had a life and so did I. We've got nothing now.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37..the anguish of bereavement...
0:00:37 > 0:00:39I do miss her.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41..and the loneliness of isolation.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45I prefer my own company. That's how you get when you get older.
0:00:45 > 0:00:4867-year-old BBC World Affairs Editor John Simpson...
0:00:48 > 0:00:51It's an exploration for me.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54I want to know what old age is.
0:00:54 > 0:00:5866-year-old actress Lesley Joseph...
0:00:58 > 0:01:00I hope they can maybe learn from me,
0:01:00 > 0:01:02I can learn from them, and we can go on a bit of a journey.
0:01:02 > 0:01:0771-year-old presenter and journalist Gloria Hunniford...
0:01:07 > 0:01:11I am fascinated with getting this snapshot of other people's lives.
0:01:11 > 0:01:15And 65-year-old actor and presenter Tony Robinson...
0:01:15 > 0:01:21All of us are complicit in giving elderly people shit lives.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23This series will shine a spotlight
0:01:23 > 0:01:26on the way our elderly live in the UK today.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29I just can't believe this is how I'm living.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32'I am shocked to think that the fridge is just so empty.'
0:01:32 > 0:01:34There's nothing in it.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36WHEEZING COUGH
0:01:36 > 0:01:39How will the four famous pensioners cope with an old age
0:01:39 > 0:01:42a world away from their own?
0:01:42 > 0:01:44I just didn't want to live now she had gone.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47I've been here a day. I feel exhausted.
0:01:47 > 0:01:52Together, can they change the course of the final years of their lives?
0:01:52 > 0:01:53That's all I wanted, really, was a push.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56Do you know what? I could get used to this life.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59If more people had the time,
0:01:59 > 0:02:03maybe there would be a real shift in the lives of elderly people.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06- Oh!- Oh!
0:02:08 > 0:02:12One thing I'm not going to do is bloody choke up.
0:02:18 > 0:02:23It's day one and the four well-known personalities are on their way to meet their OAP hosts.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Hi.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27For the next four days,
0:02:27 > 0:02:30they will immerse themselves in the pensioners' lives
0:02:30 > 0:02:32and confront the challenges they face head-on.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36I feel a bit nervous, a little bit apprehensive.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39It is becoming very real.
0:02:39 > 0:02:44For 40 years, I have been a fiend about research.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48And here I am about to live with somebody for a few days,
0:02:48 > 0:02:51not knowing anything whatsoever about them.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Day one is about getting to know their host
0:02:54 > 0:02:58before thinking about how it might be possible to help them.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Going to the unknown, facing things I don't normally face,
0:03:02 > 0:03:05and my instinct has obviously been
0:03:05 > 0:03:10to bring the kind of stuff that I take to war zones.
0:03:11 > 0:03:17Despite being 67, globetrotting TV news reporter John Simpson
0:03:17 > 0:03:19shows no signs of slowing down.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22I don't really think about retirement
0:03:22 > 0:03:24because I've got no intention of stopping.
0:03:24 > 0:03:29As well as refusing to retire, John recently started a new family
0:03:29 > 0:03:32and has a six-year-old son, Rafe, with his wife Dee.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35'Sometimes I'm walking down the street with my wife and the kid
0:03:35 > 0:03:39'and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think,'
0:03:39 > 0:03:43"Who's that old white-haired bastard with my wife?"
0:03:43 > 0:03:46And you realise it's actually you.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49John's travelled to more than 120 countries,
0:03:49 > 0:03:52but for the next four days he won't be going anywhere.
0:03:54 > 0:03:55New hairdo.
0:03:55 > 0:04:00John's about to experience what it's like to be a housebound pensioner
0:04:00 > 0:04:04by moving in with isolated widow Peggy Booth.
0:04:04 > 0:04:0783-year-old Peggy lives alone in rural Suffolk.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10She doesn't get many visitors and spends hour after hour
0:04:10 > 0:04:12watching television alone.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15If you're left on your own, you've got to get on with your life.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19You've either got to give up or get on and I'm never going to give up.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22After years alone, Peggy has lost interest
0:04:22 > 0:04:23in what other people think of her
0:04:23 > 0:04:28and on the few occasions she does go out, she doesn't get on brilliantly with the villagers.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Peggy can be stubborn, possibly cantankerous.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33There's a lot of people who don't like me.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Steer clear a bit, you know. She rubs people up.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39They either take me or leave me.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Like it or lump it! SHE LAUGHS
0:04:41 > 0:04:45After a lifetime dodging bullets in war zones, this may turn out
0:04:45 > 0:04:49to be one of John's toughest assignments yet.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53- Hello.- Hello.- How are you?
0:04:53 > 0:04:56I do recognise the face! JOHN CHUCKLES
0:04:56 > 0:04:58How are you? It's very nice to see you.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00- Thank you for having me.- Come on in.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02- Look, this is my little freezer... - Yes.
0:05:02 > 0:05:06..and this is where I keep my microwave dinners, you see.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Yes, very nice.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10There's just one small shop in the village
0:05:10 > 0:05:13but Peggy has to have food delivered once a week.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15- This is my storeroom.- I see.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17I've always got food in the house.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20From now on, everything John eats at Peggy's
0:05:20 > 0:05:22will be either frozen or tinned.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26- What is the time? Is it four o'clock? - It is...four o'clock exactly.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28There's some wrestling coming on at four.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33Now, him, CM Punk, he's a good wrestler, but he's a bit cocky.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37He says he's the best wrestler in the world, but he isn't.
0:05:42 > 0:05:4766-year-old Birds Of A Feather actress Lesley Joseph is headed for Dartford in Kent.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50I don't think I'm setting out on this journey
0:05:50 > 0:05:52to revolutionise somebody's life.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57But I hope I can bring a little humour to their lives as well
0:05:57 > 0:06:01because I'm glass half-full, not glass half-empty.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Some of the gardens are really well kept and some aren't.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14I'll be glad when I see what's behind the door.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Lesley's optimism might be tested,
0:06:16 > 0:06:20as she's about to discover just how hard it is to care for someone you love in old age.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23People have got to see that life goes on.
0:06:23 > 0:06:27Even if you have got a disability, you still want to go away.
0:06:27 > 0:06:3174-year-old Pat Still has been looking after her partner Malcolm
0:06:31 > 0:06:35since a series of strokes left him paralysed four years ago.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38WHEEZING COUGH
0:06:38 > 0:06:39Oh, dear.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Got nothing now.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44- TEARFULLY:- You had your allotment, didn't you?
0:06:44 > 0:06:49I know it doesn't seem much to people, but he had a life.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53And so did I. He hasn't got any life.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57- Don't start crying.- I'm not. I'm just so...so upset
0:06:57 > 0:07:00that the man that was, isn't.
0:07:00 > 0:07:04And the woman I was - well, I don't know where she's gone.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07It's very sad, because she's having to look after me.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10It's horrible to look after someone.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12I don't want to be a carer. I want him back.
0:07:12 > 0:07:18I want him being the horrible, frustrating thing he used to be.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23There are almost three million elderly carers in Britain
0:07:23 > 0:07:27and Pat and Malcolm are allowing a well-known personality into their home
0:07:27 > 0:07:29to show what their life is really like.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33Sometimes, if you're famous, you think you should have special this and that.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35But they're not. Malcolm's the star.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39- Freddie Starr. - He'd like a comedian, I think.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Oh, this is pretty!
0:07:43 > 0:07:44This is lovely.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Oooh!
0:07:51 > 0:07:53LESLEY LAUGHS
0:07:54 > 0:07:57- How are you, darling? - I'm fine.- What's your name?
0:07:57 > 0:08:02- Pat.- Pat. Nice to see you. - And you.- Oh. Hello.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Hello, darling.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06- This is Malcolm.- Malcolm, hi.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08- Hi.- I'm Lesley.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14- You knew immediately, didn't you? - Yes.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20It's Lesley. Lesley Joseph.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23For the next four days, Lesley, alongside Pat,
0:08:23 > 0:08:27is going to take on the role of Malcolm's carer around the clock.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30- Can you do that with your feet?- Yes.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33- Can you do...? You can move your feet?- Yeah.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36And we've paid for the stairlift ourselves.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39But that's his hope chair.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Please, God, you'll be up on the stairlift again -
0:08:41 > 0:08:43- that's what you aim for.- Yeah.
0:08:43 > 0:08:48Cos I think if you give up hope, you know, there's nothing left, really.
0:08:51 > 0:08:57Gravesend has got to be one of the most unattractive names for a town
0:08:57 > 0:08:59that you can think of.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01This is the bottom of the cemetery.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05Dad-of-two Tony Robinson recently got married for the second time
0:09:05 > 0:09:08to 30-year-old Louise Hobbs.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11The only thing that I feel insulates me
0:09:11 > 0:09:13from the terrors of old age
0:09:13 > 0:09:17is that I'm very, very close to my family.
0:09:17 > 0:09:22And I don't think I'll be alone in my old age.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25And that is a huge balm.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28But not everyone is as lucky as Tony.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31I've forgotten my stick. Where did I put it?
0:09:31 > 0:09:3389-year-old former singer Philip Hubert
0:09:33 > 0:09:37has struggled to cope since the death of his wife
0:09:37 > 0:09:39after 68 years of marriage.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42I lost her 17 months ago.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44It's been very hard.
0:09:48 > 0:09:49I do miss her.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53HE SOBS
0:09:53 > 0:09:58Philip is a D-Day veteran and lives by himself in a one-bedroom council flat.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01- Hello.- How are you?
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- I'm all right. How are you? - Pleased to meet you.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07- What's your name?- My name's Philip. - Philip, hello.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09- Can I come in?- You can.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14- Right. Down here?- That's it.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18Up until now, nobody has succeeded in helping Philip get over his grief.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24- Oh, this is lovely.- Park it round the corner. I wouldn't think so!
0:10:24 > 0:10:27- We're not sharing a room, then?- At the moment, it's like a dump to me.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Since his wife's death,
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Philip has even struggled to keep on top of the housework.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35I lost the wife and I lost interest.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37- This is the problem. That's the main problem.- Oh, yeah.
0:10:37 > 0:10:41- How long ago was that? - 17 months ago now.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45- After 68 years. It's a hell of a wrench.- It is, isn't it?
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- Huge.- Hell of a wrench.
0:10:48 > 0:10:54Broadcaster Gloria Hunniford has become a consumer champion at the age of 71.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57A recent BBC investigation found that some pension sellers
0:10:57 > 0:10:59are actually taking - I could believe this -
0:10:59 > 0:11:03the equivalent of 80% of the money that you've paid into them.
0:11:03 > 0:11:08Gloria is planning to put her financial expertise into practice
0:11:08 > 0:11:11to help the pensioner she's about to move in with.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13I would love to make even a couple of minor changes
0:11:13 > 0:11:16that would make life easier for that individual.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19What is this? Is it my money, my allowance?
0:11:19 > 0:11:21But before she does anything,
0:11:21 > 0:11:25Gloria is going to have to prove she can practise what she preaches.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Two fivers. A few coins at the bottom.
0:11:28 > 0:11:33"Throughout your stay, you will have the same disposable income as a host.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37"That means you will have to survive on £3.24 a day."
0:11:37 > 0:11:38SHE WHISTLES
0:11:38 > 0:11:42I just want to check, is this all she has per day? For everything?
0:11:42 > 0:11:46- Is it?- Disposable.- This is shocking.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Shocking. So...
0:11:48 > 0:11:52- Hello.- Hello.- How are you? They haven't even told me your name.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56- Ivy.- You're Ivy. And I'm Gloria. - Come on in.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00- Well, this is quite a project and a half, Ivy.- Oh, I know!
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Gloria will spend the next four days
0:12:02 > 0:12:07living on the breadline with 62-year-old Ivy Ward in Darwen, just outside Blackburn.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11I've just been given, literally, just over three pounds a day
0:12:11 > 0:12:14to live on while I'm here. So I think you're going to be able
0:12:14 > 0:12:17- to teach me something about how... - How to survive on nothing!
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Well, how to survive on it, yeah.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22After bills and debts,
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Ivy's left with just £23 a week of her pension to live on.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28- This is what I've got in.- Gosh.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31It's not exactly a well-stocked cupboard, is it? Bless you.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33And what do you keep in your fridge?
0:12:36 > 0:12:39- Gosh. That's it?- Yeah.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Ivy's just one of nearly two million pensioners in Britain
0:12:42 > 0:12:45estimated to be living in poverty.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48I am shocked to think that the fridge is just so empty.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50There's nothing in it. Nothing.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53Sometimes I feel as though I shouldn't be here.
0:12:56 > 0:13:01I'd be better off...dead.
0:13:01 > 0:13:05With no private pension, mother-of-five Ivy's kitted out her rented home
0:13:05 > 0:13:07with furniture donated by family and friends.
0:13:07 > 0:13:12- This is where you will be sleeping. - This is where I'm staying? OK.
0:13:12 > 0:13:18- But my bed broke, so we're going to have to try...- Where's it broken?
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Oh, I see what you mean.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24I suppose I'm surprised it's broken. I thought I might at least have a bed to lie down on.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28She can't believe this is how I'm living.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30It is so uncomfortable, and it is,
0:13:30 > 0:13:33you can feel every single bit of wire or spring in here.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35She has this. Maybe I can put this on top of the mattress.
0:13:35 > 0:13:41First job, really, is to get this bed fixed and have somewhere to lie down, if nothing else.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53- No money under there, is there? - There's a lot of peanuts.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57Tony's wasted no time in getting to grips with the domestic chores.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00This place really is a bit of a mess,
0:14:00 > 0:14:03and the problem is he just thinks, "Oh, it's a bit untidy."
0:14:05 > 0:14:07- Got some fluff on it, has it? - It's hair.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10I don't know whose hair, cos you've got a full head.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12It could have been some of the wife's.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Oh, that's a thought, isn't it?
0:14:15 > 0:14:18And I was pulling off great big chunks of his wife...
0:14:18 > 0:14:21I didn't know how to make the moment better.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24I just dropped it in the rubbish bag
0:14:24 > 0:14:27that hangs round the back of the door.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29- So that's your wife. - That's the wife.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Philip and his wife used to run theatre and singing groups.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35But Philip hasn't felt able to sing since she died.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39It's only these last three years that I've gone to pieces.
0:14:39 > 0:14:44I just didn't want to live now she's gone.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45I just didn't care.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49I just start crying over the slightest thing and talking about my wife.
0:14:53 > 0:14:58It's like he's been stuck in this flat for ages and ages and ages
0:14:58 > 0:14:59since the moment she died.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04'I found his sadness very hard.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07'Not little bits of sadness,'
0:15:07 > 0:15:08I just found that great well of...
0:15:08 > 0:15:12sadness very, very difficult to...
0:15:13 > 0:15:15..to counter.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20- That's a miss! He's a cocky little so-and-so.- Is he?
0:15:20 > 0:15:22John and Peggy are still watching
0:15:22 > 0:15:27the wrestling. The sluggish pace of life is proving a challenge.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29I'm 16 years younger than Peggy.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32She feels like my grandma.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36It's the difference between the life of somebody who has had to keep
0:15:36 > 0:15:39very, very active
0:15:39 > 0:15:43and the life of somebody who has been sedentary for some time, I think.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48So, the lesson I draw from that - keep on running.
0:15:51 > 0:15:52Would you like to give it a go?
0:15:52 > 0:15:54- I don't mind at all. - There we are.
0:15:54 > 0:15:59Now, don't shout at me, Malcolm, if I do something wrong, please!
0:15:59 > 0:16:04In Dartford, Lesley is discovering just how much work is involved
0:16:04 > 0:16:05in caring for someone.
0:16:05 > 0:16:06There's never...
0:16:06 > 0:16:11never time for me, because everything takes so long.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15- I say to him, I don't want to be a carer.- Do you say it? You say to Malcolm?
0:16:15 > 0:16:17- Yes, I do say it to Malcolm. - Does that upset him?
0:16:19 > 0:16:20Did you tell her?
0:16:22 > 0:16:26You could scream in the end. And I have actually gone
0:16:26 > 0:16:31- in the back garden and screamed. - Mmm.- Cos you get so frustrated.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35I mean, you must feel equally... as frustrated?
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Yeah.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41- But we try not to let anyone know how we're feeling.- Yeah.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46- Here's Malcolm.- Oh, my goodness.
0:16:48 > 0:16:49Malcolm and Pat met 40 years ago,
0:16:49 > 0:16:53when Malcolm was a keen athlete.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57- You did a mile in four minutes?! - Yes.
0:16:57 > 0:17:04- That's fast!- I see those photos and I can't believe
0:17:04 > 0:17:08that the person in them photographs and the person lying in bed -
0:17:08 > 0:17:12I would never have believed he'd have a stroke.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21On we go. Let's have a good look at what we're going to get
0:17:21 > 0:17:26- for our three quid. - Food shopping on so little money
0:17:26 > 0:17:28is a weekly ordeal for Ivy.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32- But consumer champion Gloria has got a plan.- In my head,
0:17:32 > 0:17:36I thought I make a good spaghetti sauce, so I'll buy minced steak and
0:17:36 > 0:17:39I'll buy the mushrooms and onions and all the things that I,
0:17:39 > 0:17:43personally, put into a spaghetti sauce, and I'll be able to make her
0:17:43 > 0:17:45spaghetti for tonight and then be able to spread that out.
0:17:45 > 0:17:50- So my onions are...82p, which is quite a lot.- Yes.
0:17:50 > 0:17:54But the financial realities of Ivy's life are proving more difficult
0:17:54 > 0:17:55than Gloria imagined.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59This one is quite expensive. It's shocking, isn't it?
0:17:59 > 0:18:03I couldn't do it, even using two days' money, I couldn't do it.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06It was so expensive.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10It was £5 for any kind of decent meat,
0:18:10 > 0:18:14- so £5 would have been almost two days'...- Yes.
0:18:14 > 0:18:15Then the onions and mushrooms
0:18:15 > 0:18:20and that would've been about £8. But I thought, I can't spend £8
0:18:20 > 0:18:23- on just the meat.- No.- It's shocking.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27It's estimated that 1 million pensioners are malnourished.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29It's been a wake-up call for Gloria.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33I don't know how you do it, actually. I don't.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34I don't.
0:18:34 > 0:18:38I came here hoping that maybe I might be able to make
0:18:38 > 0:18:44some tweak for Ivy and in a way, I think she, in reverse,
0:18:44 > 0:18:46she has shown me so much today.
0:18:46 > 0:18:51In my naive, stupid state, I just thought that the State, somehow,
0:18:51 > 0:18:55with grants and payouts and things would actually mean that people
0:18:55 > 0:18:59would have at least enough to eat. The fundamental right to have
0:18:59 > 0:19:01enough food in your belly and enough to drink.
0:19:05 > 0:19:10But Gloria is not the only one getting used to a new reality.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14It must be heaven to live her life, to be able to go out shopping
0:19:14 > 0:19:20and get what you want and go and buy new clothes and you know,
0:19:20 > 0:19:23I feel scruffy the side of her.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26I feel dirty and scruffy.
0:19:26 > 0:19:32You look at her with a nice hairdo and nice clothes on and...
0:19:32 > 0:19:35dressed smart and looking nice
0:19:35 > 0:19:37and look at me! You know...
0:19:40 > 0:19:41I don't like it.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49(Sorry.)
0:19:50 > 0:19:54At the end of the first day, the four visiting pensioners
0:19:54 > 0:19:57are beginning to think about the challenges they have ahead.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00- Hooray!- You've got it.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02This is a sad life, because he's mourning so much.
0:20:02 > 0:20:06I don't know, I think that if we manage to give him a glimmer
0:20:06 > 0:20:10of what his life could be in the future, then that would be great.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Good night, my darling. God bless you.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Come and visit me if you can.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Well of course, I've only just scratched the surface so far
0:20:24 > 0:20:28with Ivy. I've spent the day with her. I can't help but think
0:20:28 > 0:20:31that with a little bit of encouragement from certain quarters,
0:20:31 > 0:20:33that she could have a better life.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38I'm finding it really quite gruelling, quite tiring.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42It's quite heavy going. She seems to me to be quite lonely, actually.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46I don't know whether she'd regard herself as being lonely,
0:20:46 > 0:20:48but she is a woman who's on her own most of the time.
0:20:48 > 0:20:53I was hoping I might be able to bring something to her,
0:20:53 > 0:20:57but strangely I don't think I've been able to give her very much,
0:20:57 > 0:21:02except one big thing, of course, which is my attention.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05I'm sure that's done her quite a lot of good.
0:21:06 > 0:21:11What I would love to do in these three days is give Pat some sense
0:21:11 > 0:21:15of fun. I think Pat is the person now who needs a lot of support.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18And...let's see what tonight and tomorrow brings.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21DOOR CREAKS
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Pat?
0:21:30 > 0:21:31Pat!
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Help!
0:21:34 > 0:21:37OK.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39What's up, Malcolm?
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- Help!- Yes, I'm just coming down.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48Malcolm needs to go to the toilet several times during the night,
0:21:48 > 0:21:52meaning that Pat hasn't had an unbroken night's sleep for years.
0:21:52 > 0:21:56That's a lot to take on. Even for somebody you love,
0:21:56 > 0:21:58that's a huge amount to take on.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02But tonight, it's not just Pat who's pitching in.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06It's me, it's Lesley.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09To get up two or three times a night every night,
0:22:09 > 0:22:13that's like having a young baby and having to get up and feed it.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16That is mentally and physically exhausting.
0:22:16 > 0:22:21It's a hard thing to do, what she's doing.
0:22:21 > 0:22:25Really, really, really tough.
0:22:25 > 0:22:26Pat!
0:22:27 > 0:22:29PAT!
0:22:30 > 0:22:32(Pat!)
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Good morning, sir. Lovely morning.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Look, he's still in bed!
0:22:52 > 0:22:56- It's disgraceful! - TONY CHUCKLES
0:22:56 > 0:22:59- Do you want a cup of tea?- Good idea.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05- Crunchy Nut? Can I have some Crunchy Nut?- You can have whatever
0:23:05 > 0:23:08you like. I've got some All Bran if you want any of that.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12No! Don't need All Bran nowadays - I've given that sort of thing up.
0:23:12 > 0:23:16HE COUGHS
0:23:16 > 0:23:18Are you all right?
0:23:18 > 0:23:19DOORBELL RINGS
0:23:21 > 0:23:24- Hello, my darling.- Mwah!
0:23:24 > 0:23:26It's 9.00am in Gravesend
0:23:26 > 0:23:29and Philip and Tony have got visitors.
0:23:29 > 0:23:34- Hello, Stuart.- How are you doing? - Yeah, not too bad at all, now.- Good.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37Philip recently broke his wrist in a fall
0:23:37 > 0:23:41and relies on his grandson Stuart to do his weekly shopping.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Is this my songs?
0:23:43 > 0:23:47But as well as the shopping, he also has a surprise.
0:23:47 > 0:23:53# Love walked right in and brought... #
0:23:53 > 0:23:58Stuart has brought along an old CD recording of Philip singing.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01# One look
0:24:01 > 0:24:10# And I have found my world completely new. #
0:24:11 > 0:24:15# With you. #
0:24:15 > 0:24:20- That's it.- That's brilliant. - Very good.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24See you in a bit, Grandad.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26Stuart has been unable to persuade his grandad
0:24:26 > 0:24:29to start performing again since his wife died.
0:24:29 > 0:24:30It was really bad for a while.
0:24:30 > 0:24:34Whenever we came round, he'd open the door in tears
0:24:34 > 0:24:37and no matter how much you'd give him a cuddle or tell him he's doing
0:24:37 > 0:24:43really well and that he's bound to have low periods, um...
0:24:43 > 0:24:50He'd still be upset. You could see him just staring off into the distance when you're talking to him.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53- Obviously still thinking about Nan. - Talking to Stuart
0:24:53 > 0:24:57has given Tony an idea about how to help Philip move forward.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59You know, every 20 minutes or so,
0:24:59 > 0:25:02that I've been talking to him, something has come up
0:25:02 > 0:25:06about his singing and "Oh, the group packed up
0:25:06 > 0:25:10"and now I've lost a bit of interest, because my wife's died",
0:25:10 > 0:25:15and you know that he actually does want to sing again. I think it'd be fun to set that up for him.
0:25:18 > 0:25:22After a difficult night, Lesley wants to find out how Malcolm feels
0:25:22 > 0:25:24about his long-suffering wife.
0:25:24 > 0:25:30Are you ever aware of what Pat sacrifices of her own life
0:25:30 > 0:25:33to look after you, and does that worry you?
0:25:33 > 0:25:38- I spend nights crying over it. - Do you? Do you worry about her leaving you?
0:25:38 > 0:25:43Yes, I do. Cos she's my whole life. Anything happens to her,
0:25:43 > 0:25:46I might as well give up.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50Pat and Malcolm have been together since 1972.
0:25:50 > 0:25:55But years acting as Malcolm's carer has changed their relationship.
0:25:55 > 0:25:59You're doing their wee, you're doing personal things.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01Does love then become
0:26:01 > 0:26:07more like you're caring - don't get this wrong, not a child,
0:26:07 > 0:26:10but someone who needs you more than you need them?
0:26:10 > 0:26:16- Do you feel guilty ever, Malcolm, that Pat's having to look after you to this extent?- Yes.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20- Because she loves you.- That's right.
0:26:20 > 0:26:2218 months ago,
0:26:22 > 0:26:25the pressure of looking after Malcolm became too much for Pat
0:26:25 > 0:26:27and she suffered a breakdown.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31To be honest, it would be easier for me if he was in a care home.
0:26:31 > 0:26:35I'd have my life back, but would it be fair to him?
0:26:35 > 0:26:36No. He'd be unhappy.
0:26:36 > 0:26:41He would make me feel a traitor every time I visited him.
0:26:41 > 0:26:46To stop that feeling, I'd visit him less and less and less...
0:26:46 > 0:26:48And then what would I have left?
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Guilt.
0:26:53 > 0:26:59- So how much do you get in total? - In total? £120.
0:26:59 > 0:27:04In Darwin, Gloria has spent the morning trying to find a solution to Ivy's financial crisis.
0:27:04 > 0:27:08- So your rent allowance is what? - 316, I think it is.
0:27:08 > 0:27:15- 316, OK. And your rent per month is?- 390.
0:27:15 > 0:27:19Each month, Ivy has to top up her housing benefit with £74
0:27:19 > 0:27:24- from her pension, but Gloria has got an idea.- Now, if we can somehow
0:27:24 > 0:27:27or other put her on the right track to try and get a cheaper house
0:27:27 > 0:27:32to rent, it means that £74 to her or anybody or me,
0:27:32 > 0:27:35just on a £3.24-a-day allowance...
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Suddenly I can see what I could do with £74 a month extra.
0:27:38 > 0:27:42Ivy's got five kids, but they have no idea just how bad things have got
0:27:42 > 0:27:45for their mum.
0:27:45 > 0:27:50When my grandchildren and my children are round, I have to, like,
0:27:50 > 0:27:53put a happy face on.
0:27:53 > 0:28:00I try not to let my children or my grandchildren see me down.
0:28:00 > 0:28:05- Do you ever get the joy out of life?- No.
0:28:06 > 0:28:11My life, now...is...awful.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13Really awful.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16Sometimes I get really down
0:28:16 > 0:28:19and I just want to die.
0:28:19 > 0:28:21No. I just don't want to be here.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29After almost two days cooped up with Peggy, John has got itchy feet
0:28:29 > 0:28:33- and he's on the trail of a story. - I'd like to know a bit more
0:28:33 > 0:28:36about Peggy's self-isolation.
0:28:36 > 0:28:39Of course she's got physical disabilities,
0:28:39 > 0:28:43which make it difficult to go thrashing round the village,
0:28:43 > 0:28:45but that isn't the only reason.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50John wants to know what the other people in the village think.
0:28:50 > 0:28:55I think she has herself to blame. You don't talk to people, they don't talk to you.
0:28:55 > 0:28:58She's not some kind of pariah to speak to,
0:28:58 > 0:29:01it's just that she's a cantankerous old lady.
0:29:01 > 0:29:08- Stubborn, I think is the... - But it does come with old age. - It does, yes.- That's how we are.
0:29:08 > 0:29:11- And loneliness.- And loneliness.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14I think she's very lonely. And I think she's always been
0:29:14 > 0:29:18considered a bit of an oddity. People view her with suspicion.
0:29:18 > 0:29:23You know, it's a two-way thing. She's not been welcomed by the village, but equally,
0:29:23 > 0:29:26she's not played her part in doing it.
0:29:26 > 0:29:30Back at the house, John wants to find out what Peggy thinks.
0:29:30 > 0:29:33You seem to lead quite a lonely life. Do you feel it's lonely?
0:29:33 > 0:29:36If anybody asks me anything and I don't like, I tell them
0:29:36 > 0:29:40- to mind their business.- Yes. You haven't said that to me.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43You haven't asked me anything I don't want you to!
0:29:43 > 0:29:46The fact is, if you don't like people, then people tend
0:29:46 > 0:29:50not to like you, and I think that's what's happened with her.
0:29:50 > 0:29:54She's a square peg in a round hole and there's going to be
0:29:54 > 0:29:58lots of people that are irritated with her and don't like her.
0:29:58 > 0:30:00I don't see that she gives a stuff.
0:30:04 > 0:30:07Tomato's not too hot? Good.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10In Dartford, Lesley has taken over the cooking duties.
0:30:12 > 0:30:16Do you know what? I could get used to this life! I really could.
0:30:16 > 0:30:21The last time Pat had a break was when Malcolm went into respite care.
0:30:21 > 0:30:24- But he's always refused to go back. - Malcolm doesn't like
0:30:24 > 0:30:27- going to respite.- And yet you didn't mind it last time you went in?
0:30:27 > 0:30:32You get to know them and you know that you're safe there and looked after.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35- I don't want to go in at all. - You don't want to go in at all?
0:30:38 > 0:30:42He thinks if I put him in respite, I'm going to leave him there and go.
0:30:42 > 0:30:44And it's his biggest fear.
0:30:44 > 0:30:48He's got to realise that I need two weeks for me.
0:30:48 > 0:30:53If he don't, I don't know where we'll end up.
0:30:53 > 0:30:59Lesley's decided she needs to convince Malcolm to change his mind about respite care.
0:30:59 > 0:31:02Pat would benefit so much from having those few days off
0:31:02 > 0:31:06that it would give her renewed energy, make her feel like she's still got a life.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08Then they can have that life together.
0:31:08 > 0:31:14But every few weeks, it would feel maybe that she got a little more of her independence.
0:31:14 > 0:31:15See you in the morning.
0:31:17 > 0:31:18OK?
0:31:21 > 0:31:24JAZZ MUSIC
0:31:24 > 0:31:27Like more than half a million pensioners across Britain,
0:31:27 > 0:31:31Philip ventures out no more than once a week.
0:31:31 > 0:31:32Oh, dear.
0:31:34 > 0:31:39- Bloody worn out before I start, this morning!- When he's up to it,
0:31:39 > 0:31:43he attends a local day centre. Today, Tony is going with him.
0:31:43 > 0:31:48- Who do I remind you of?- Time Team. - Oh, yeah?- You're the living picture of him, ain't you?
0:31:48 > 0:31:55- No getting away from it. - It's me!- It IS you?- Yeah.- Ah!
0:31:55 > 0:31:59The Age UK day centre in Gravesend provides lunch and entertainment
0:31:59 > 0:32:04- for local pensioners.- Thank you. - Philip used to sing at the centre,
0:32:04 > 0:32:10but senior care worker Donna has been unable to get him to perform since Mairi's death.
0:32:10 > 0:32:12- Was he in a bit of a state? - He was quite shy, weren't you?
0:32:12 > 0:32:15- You didn't want to come, did you? - I didn't want to come, no.
0:32:15 > 0:32:20- You find it hard.- I've just gone into a shell and stayed there.
0:32:20 > 0:32:24- One, two, one, two.- But after waiting for the other pensioners to leave,
0:32:24 > 0:32:29Philip agrees to try singing again - even if it's just to Donna and Tony.
0:32:29 > 0:32:31Give us a song, now.
0:32:31 > 0:32:37# Love is a many splendored thing
0:32:38 > 0:32:41# It's the April rose
0:32:41 > 0:32:45# That only grows in the early spring
0:32:45 > 0:32:48# Two lovers kissed and the... #
0:32:51 > 0:32:55Was that song...special to you, or...?
0:32:56 > 0:32:58Yeah. Shouldn't have sung it.
0:33:00 > 0:33:05Really emotional. He's got a beautiful voice.
0:33:05 > 0:33:09It's really lovely to hear him singing. I can't believe it.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12I'm really pleased that you sang to me, Phil.
0:33:13 > 0:33:16- Thank you.- I wanted to, but...
0:33:18 > 0:33:21- I've done it now.- You have. And you know what that means,
0:33:21 > 0:33:26- don't you?- Hm?- You know what that means?- Yeah. I'm getting better.
0:33:26 > 0:33:29Although he was unable to finish the song, Tony is more convinced
0:33:29 > 0:33:32than ever that getting Philip to sing in public will help
0:33:32 > 0:33:35to continue his recovery.
0:33:35 > 0:33:37He sang today. In a microphone,
0:33:37 > 0:33:41which he's been avoiding for ages and ages. I'm hoping that by the end of day four,
0:33:41 > 0:33:45we'll have found some way to get Phil to perform.
0:33:50 > 0:33:54In Dartford, Lesley has decided to broach a subject that up until now,
0:33:54 > 0:33:57Malcolm has been unwilling to discuss.
0:33:58 > 0:34:02Although the rational thing would be for the man to say,
0:34:02 > 0:34:05"I'm going to give you a rest every four weeks for five days.
0:34:05 > 0:34:10"I'm going to go into respite", irrationally, he probably really is scared to death...
0:34:10 > 0:34:12that he WOULD be left there.
0:34:12 > 0:34:15When you went into respite,
0:34:15 > 0:34:20- How long did you go in for? - The first one, for four days.
0:34:20 > 0:34:23- The second one, a week.- So tell me...
0:34:23 > 0:34:27But before that, the first one, I couldn't stick it.
0:34:27 > 0:34:29Why couldn't you?
0:34:29 > 0:34:33- I just couldn't.- You really didn't enjoy any of it at all?- No.
0:34:33 > 0:34:37I thought she was dumping me in there.
0:34:37 > 0:34:40But I think that's a lifeline for her, isn't it? Because...
0:34:40 > 0:34:43I realise it is, now. But I didn't...
0:34:43 > 0:34:45You didn't at the time?
0:34:47 > 0:34:50Cos you don't honestly think she would leave you, do you?
0:34:50 > 0:34:54- Not now.- Not really, not now. - Not now.
0:34:55 > 0:34:58- You know she wouldn't.- I know.
0:35:01 > 0:35:05Would you ever go back, do you think, just to give Pat a break?
0:35:05 > 0:35:08Would you ever say, OK, I know it's not my favourite place
0:35:08 > 0:35:10- in the world...- I said I would.
0:35:10 > 0:35:14- Would you?- And if I said I would, I will do.
0:35:19 > 0:35:24'Malcolm has now promised he will go into respite.'
0:35:26 > 0:35:28That's a huge progression.
0:35:31 > 0:35:35Despite living 15 miles away in Preston, Ivy's daughter Venus
0:35:35 > 0:35:39and 13-year-old granddaughter Jessica regularly make the 90-minute bus ride
0:35:39 > 0:35:42to call round with emergency supplies.
0:35:42 > 0:35:45Teabags. Weetabix.
0:35:45 > 0:35:47Some soup...
0:35:50 > 0:35:53- A Fray Bentos.- Isn't she a good girl?
0:35:54 > 0:35:57What would you like to see us do to help Ivy's life?
0:35:57 > 0:36:00I'd like to see my mum in a nice little flat near me.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02That's what I'd like.
0:36:02 > 0:36:03So, downsize from this house?
0:36:03 > 0:36:07Downsize from this house and see my mum in a nice flat near me.
0:36:07 > 0:36:11Where she's closer to me and I can look after her.
0:36:11 > 0:36:16But besides the house, there's something Gloria feels Venus needs to know.
0:36:16 > 0:36:21I obviously have asked your mum how bad it gets,
0:36:21 > 0:36:26and how she feels now that she's having to manage on her own
0:36:26 > 0:36:28and...she says it gets so bad
0:36:28 > 0:36:33- that sometimes she simply doesn't want to live. It's that bad. - I know that.
0:36:34 > 0:36:39I know that, but... My mum has never told me, but I know that.
0:36:39 > 0:36:45I do. It is hard. It is hard, and it's a shame to want to feel that way.
0:36:47 > 0:36:50It's just horrible to know that the person I love so much
0:36:50 > 0:36:53has to feel like that every day. Every day of the week.
0:36:55 > 0:36:59It's wrong. Nobody should have to go through it.
0:37:00 > 0:37:04But that's the good friendship we've got, because you know
0:37:04 > 0:37:08- you can come to me, Mum. No matter what.- I know.
0:37:08 > 0:37:13There's just some things I don't want you to know.
0:37:13 > 0:37:16- But I'm your daughter.- I know. - Because I love you.
0:37:16 > 0:37:21Yeah, but you have your problems. You have problems yourself.
0:37:21 > 0:37:25I've got problems, but I love you, it doesn't matter about my problems, does it?
0:37:26 > 0:37:27Jess, Jess.
0:37:36 > 0:37:39To have your child say to you straight into your eyes,
0:37:39 > 0:37:43holding your hands, "I love you, Mum, you're my mum, I would do anything for you."
0:37:43 > 0:37:47- I just think that's really impacting.- Come on, Mum.
0:37:47 > 0:37:48Come on.
0:37:50 > 0:37:55Seeing Ivy and Venus together has reminded Gloria of her own daughter, Caron,
0:37:55 > 0:37:59who died nearly 10 years ago, at the age of 41.
0:37:59 > 0:38:02I've had obviously to go through a lot of emotion in my own life.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04And when I...
0:38:05 > 0:38:07Sorry, I can't say it.
0:38:08 > 0:38:10(I can't say it.)
0:38:11 > 0:38:14It's just because I think of my own daughter.
0:38:14 > 0:38:15That's why I can't do it.
0:38:23 > 0:38:27OK, so if you go and sit in the front there, Peggy...
0:38:27 > 0:38:32In Suffolk, John has finally persuaded Peggy to join him on a trip out.
0:38:32 > 0:38:34That's the school I went to, look.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39But Peggy's not interested in meeting up with old acquaintances.
0:38:39 > 0:38:41Well, not the living ones, anyway...
0:38:41 > 0:38:44I reckon I should get out and push you!
0:38:44 > 0:38:46SHE LAUGHS
0:38:46 > 0:38:49Peggy is going to be buried in the local graveyard,
0:38:49 > 0:38:53in the same plot as her dad, Walter.
0:38:53 > 0:38:55I've got trembly, sat here now.
0:38:55 > 0:38:58You might think that's peculiar.
0:38:58 > 0:39:00But in my life...
0:39:00 > 0:39:03I've never had anybody make a fuss or love me.
0:39:03 > 0:39:05There's no love in my family.
0:39:05 > 0:39:09My dad was the only one who loved me and I think that's the truth.
0:39:10 > 0:39:13Can't ever remember my mother cuddling me or anything.
0:39:13 > 0:39:16- Really?- Yep.
0:39:21 > 0:39:25While Peggy was close to her dad, as a young girl growing up
0:39:25 > 0:39:28in the 1930s, she had a troubled relationship with her mum,
0:39:28 > 0:39:30Edith Mary.
0:39:31 > 0:39:35You can't alter these things. I mean, I couldn't alter...
0:39:35 > 0:39:39I couldn't make my mother take more notice of me then she did the boys,
0:39:39 > 0:39:44that's how she was and that's how I grew up - that was my life.
0:39:44 > 0:39:49I used to get thrashed with a dog's lead and on the end
0:39:49 > 0:39:55- was a leather bootlace with knots in.- It can't have been easy to forgive that?- You don't forget.
0:39:55 > 0:39:59- But did you forgive it?- But that was part of my life, so there ain't
0:39:59 > 0:40:02nothing to forgive, really. You don't forget.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06# It's you, it's you
0:40:06 > 0:40:09# It's all for you
0:40:09 > 0:40:11# Everything I do
0:40:11 > 0:40:14# I tell you all the time
0:40:14 > 0:40:17# Heaven is a place on earth with you
0:40:17 > 0:40:21# Tell me all the things you want to do... #
0:40:21 > 0:40:26I think that's the key to her character in many ways -
0:40:26 > 0:40:29that spikiness. That's pretty characteristic of someone
0:40:29 > 0:40:32that didn't get enough love when they were a kid.
0:40:32 > 0:40:36She doesn't find it easy to be soft and gentle, clearly,
0:40:36 > 0:40:42because no-one was soft and gentle with her. Mother clearly wasn't.
0:40:51 > 0:40:55Lesley thinks Pat desperately needs a night off caring for Malcolm.
0:40:55 > 0:40:58- Bye, Barbara. See you later. Have a good evening.- She's persuaded
0:40:58 > 0:41:02a couple of neighbours to look after him, so they can hit the town.
0:41:04 > 0:41:07Yellow, 13.
0:41:07 > 0:41:08Red, 18.
0:41:08 > 0:41:10Yellow, 33.
0:41:10 > 0:41:13- 'On yellow 33...'- Oh, no!
0:41:14 > 0:41:18- That's two pounds wasted! - But what fun!
0:41:19 > 0:41:21Red, 17.
0:41:22 > 0:41:24Blue, 52.
0:41:24 > 0:41:26Blue, 59.
0:41:26 > 0:41:28So how much did I win?
0:41:28 > 0:41:30- £4 on that one.- We've spent 20!
0:41:30 > 0:41:33Doesn't matter! I'm enjoying it!
0:41:33 > 0:41:37Pat's never had time to go to the local bingo hall before,
0:41:37 > 0:41:41but she knows exactly what she'd do if she hits the jackpot.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43'I've always wanted to go on a cruise.'
0:41:43 > 0:41:47And I'd like to, when he was in respite, knowing he was safe,
0:41:47 > 0:41:51then I could have a week's cruise, come back...
0:41:51 > 0:41:53and it's something I've always wanted.
0:41:53 > 0:41:55- Yellow, 14.- Yes!
0:41:55 > 0:41:58No!
0:41:58 > 0:41:59No! You've won 1,000 quid!
0:41:59 > 0:42:02That's 1,136.
0:42:02 > 0:42:03Ah!
0:42:06 > 0:42:07I can go on my cruise!
0:42:13 > 0:42:15You've won 1,000 quid!
0:42:17 > 0:42:22Four days ago, I was so miserable. And look at me! I've won some money,
0:42:22 > 0:42:25I'm going on a cruise.
0:42:25 > 0:42:27Look at this face!
0:42:34 > 0:42:38It's the group's last day with their OAP hosts.
0:42:38 > 0:42:40After picking up the microphone yesterday,
0:42:40 > 0:42:43Philip has agreed to join up with a local singing group.
0:42:43 > 0:42:47Well, I feel better in myself. I feel stronger in myself
0:42:47 > 0:42:48than what I used to be.
0:42:48 > 0:42:51That's all I wanted really, was a push.
0:42:51 > 0:42:54# Putting on the top hat
0:42:54 > 0:42:57# Tying up a white tie
0:42:57 > 0:42:59# Brushing off my tails! #
0:42:59 > 0:43:02It'll be lovely to see how he is when he is surrounded by
0:43:02 > 0:43:04a whole group of other singers.
0:43:04 > 0:43:09- That's it. Do I look all right? - You look fantastic.
0:43:10 > 0:43:12I just hope he doesn't lose his bottle.
0:43:12 > 0:43:15I'm looking swell!
0:43:16 > 0:43:18- Ah..- Ooh!
0:43:19 > 0:43:21Are you all right, matey?
0:43:21 > 0:43:24Are you all right? Ups you go...
0:43:24 > 0:43:26Waaaay...
0:43:26 > 0:43:30- OK... I'm all right now. - Not just being a brave soldier?
0:43:30 > 0:43:33- Eh? Yes.- Not just being a brave soldier? You really are all right?
0:43:33 > 0:43:36- Just glad I dropped on that finger and not my thumb.- So am I.
0:43:41 > 0:43:44That's a bit worrying. He was having such a great time.
0:43:44 > 0:43:46And he just went...
0:43:47 > 0:43:51I didn't think he landed too hard, I'm just a bit worried that he's...
0:43:52 > 0:43:54That he's shaken up.
0:43:54 > 0:43:56It's that little tot of whiskey I had.
0:43:58 > 0:44:02We've got plenty of time. We'll just let him sit for a bit.
0:44:02 > 0:44:05I don't want him... I don't want him rushing to do anything.
0:44:12 > 0:44:16You know, I don't like your wheelchair.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18John has decided it's too late in the day
0:44:18 > 0:44:21to change Peggy, so he's given up trying.
0:44:21 > 0:44:28I thought at the start that maybe we should get her out more, take her round the village.
0:44:28 > 0:44:31I am not certain about that now.
0:44:31 > 0:44:37I don't think that coming in, changing somebody's life
0:44:37 > 0:44:40and going away with a warm sense of achievement
0:44:40 > 0:44:42is really quite the thing.
0:44:42 > 0:44:46She is her own person, she lives her life as she chooses
0:44:46 > 0:44:51and she's been kind enough to let us into her life to see it.
0:44:51 > 0:44:55John and Peggy are going to visit his old family home in nearby Dunwich,
0:44:55 > 0:44:58a place Peggy also knows well, having grown up in the area.
0:44:58 > 0:45:04I can't believe I'm back here. My room used to be up there.
0:45:04 > 0:45:07I think you're tremendously game to do this, actually, Penny,
0:45:07 > 0:45:10- I think it's marvellous. - I didn't get much choice, did I?
0:45:10 > 0:45:13- My father fell in love with it instantly.- Yeah.
0:45:13 > 0:45:15Absolutely instantly
0:45:15 > 0:45:18and we lived here, on and off,
0:45:18 > 0:45:21- for ten years, something like that. - Did you?- Yes.
0:45:22 > 0:45:25John was raised as an only child by his father, Roy,
0:45:25 > 0:45:28following his parents' divorce in 1950.
0:45:28 > 0:45:30I learned, actually, when I was at school
0:45:30 > 0:45:33to invent a mother that was at home,
0:45:33 > 0:45:36because I wanted people to think I HAD a mother,
0:45:36 > 0:45:41so that nobody thought that there was something weird about me.
0:45:42 > 0:45:47So, this is where I... this is where I grew up.
0:45:47 > 0:45:51You know, it's got so many memories.
0:45:52 > 0:45:56John's dad died at the age of 65.
0:45:56 > 0:45:58Now, two years older than that himself,
0:45:58 > 0:46:01John's worried how his death will affect his six-year-old son Rafe.
0:46:01 > 0:46:08I mean, God! When he's 16, I shall be 77.
0:46:08 > 0:46:11Then the moment comes for him to say,
0:46:11 > 0:46:16"I want to go and play rugby this weekend", and I'll say,
0:46:16 > 0:46:20"But we had it planned...".
0:46:40 > 0:46:41When I did this thing,
0:46:41 > 0:46:46I thought, "One thing I'm not going to do is bloody choke up!"
0:46:46 > 0:46:48I'm sorry.
0:47:01 > 0:47:04Gloria wants to help Ivy move to a cheaper flat.
0:47:04 > 0:47:08So, she's taken her to Preston to view some sheltered accommodation.
0:47:08 > 0:47:11If we can find or help Ivy find a house
0:47:11 > 0:47:13to move from this privately-rented house,
0:47:13 > 0:47:16it just solves so many issues, financially and socially.
0:47:16 > 0:47:18Oh! Look at this!
0:47:18 > 0:47:21She wouldn't have that top-up rent to pay.
0:47:21 > 0:47:23She would have food in her belly to eat.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25She would be near her daughter and her granddaughter.
0:47:25 > 0:47:28So, it could be absolutely joy
0:47:28 > 0:47:32and magic for Ivy if we pull this off.
0:47:32 > 0:47:35So, we've got the key of the door.
0:47:35 > 0:47:39This one-bedroom flat is part of a housing agency for older people
0:47:39 > 0:47:43and offers tenants support in managing their finances.
0:47:43 > 0:47:46- This is the bedroom, which is quite big.- Yeah.
0:47:46 > 0:47:49- You've got double glazed windows. - Yeah.- Which is good.
0:47:49 > 0:47:52And what I must tell you as well is that this is affordable.
0:47:52 > 0:47:56- Yeah.- So, this, again, you wouldn't have to top up any rent.
0:47:56 > 0:47:58So, it's well within your budget.
0:48:00 > 0:48:02Here we are. Quite a decent-sized sitting room.
0:48:02 > 0:48:06A very good aspect, looking out, isn't it?
0:48:06 > 0:48:08- So, what do you think?- I like it.
0:48:08 > 0:48:12- Do you?- I do.- Do you get a good feeling?- Yeah.
0:48:15 > 0:48:20I've got Ivy with me and she's in the apartment here and loves it.
0:48:20 > 0:48:25What I wanted to find out from you is actually price and availability.
0:48:30 > 0:48:34- Believe it or not, I'm going to tell you what Robin said, right?- Yeah.
0:48:34 > 0:48:38- If you like it...- Yeah. - It's available
0:48:38 > 0:48:40and you can have it as of today!
0:48:40 > 0:48:42Oh!
0:48:42 > 0:48:44Hello?
0:48:44 > 0:48:47Hello.
0:48:48 > 0:48:50I can't say anything!
0:48:51 > 0:48:56- I can have it today?- That's amazing.
0:48:56 > 0:48:58To see someone like Ivy,
0:48:58 > 0:49:00who's talked on this programme about wanting to kill herself,
0:49:00 > 0:49:02that she's got nothing to live for,
0:49:02 > 0:49:04now, all of a sudden, she's got EVERYTHING to live for.
0:49:10 > 0:49:12After taking a break,
0:49:12 > 0:49:15Philip's decided he's feeling well enough to join the local singing group,
0:49:15 > 0:49:19who are performing at a nearby care home.
0:49:19 > 0:49:21I think he tripped over my slipper,
0:49:21 > 0:49:23so it was probably my fault.
0:49:23 > 0:49:27He went BOOF! He went down like George Foreman.
0:49:27 > 0:49:30But, then he was up again within five minutes and I kept going,
0:49:30 > 0:49:33"Are you all right?". For the next hour, that was all I said, I think.
0:49:33 > 0:49:35But he was absolutely fine.
0:49:35 > 0:49:38CHOIR SINGS
0:49:38 > 0:49:41Philip hasn't sung in public
0:49:41 > 0:49:44since his wife, Mairi, died. And Tony has invited his grandson,
0:49:44 > 0:49:47Stuart, and his family along for moral support.
0:49:47 > 0:49:53CHOIR SINGS
0:50:01 > 0:50:04APPLAUSE
0:50:06 > 0:50:11And now, ladies and gentlemen, Philip will sing unaccompanied,
0:50:11 > 0:50:15without the aid of a safety net, Love Is A Many-Splendored Thing.
0:50:20 > 0:50:24I hope I'll get through it all right, I haven't sung for a long time.
0:50:24 > 0:50:26No, you were brilliant.
0:50:26 > 0:50:28# Love
0:50:28 > 0:50:33# Is a many-splendored thing
0:50:33 > 0:50:37# It's the April rose
0:50:37 > 0:50:43# That only grows in the early spring
0:50:43 > 0:50:45# Yes, it's true
0:50:45 > 0:50:50# Love's a many-splendored
0:50:50 > 0:50:56# Thing. #
0:50:57 > 0:51:00APPLAUSE
0:51:00 > 0:51:02Thank you.
0:51:06 > 0:51:11It's so good to see him singing. Makes me proud of him.
0:51:11 > 0:51:13I'm really proud.
0:51:15 > 0:51:16- BABY: Ah!- Your dad!
0:51:20 > 0:51:25If more people had the time to pay attention to elderly people,
0:51:25 > 0:51:30particularly in this case, grieving elderly people,
0:51:30 > 0:51:36maybe there would be a real shift in the lives of elderly people.
0:51:36 > 0:51:40- Aaah. No, it's lovely to see you. - That was brilliant. Well done.
0:51:40 > 0:51:43- I'm really proud of you. - Really good.- Yes, it was lovely.
0:51:43 > 0:51:48I think a hell of a lot of Mairi, but it's been my main problem.
0:51:49 > 0:51:53That's what I've got to do - I mustn't keep hanging on...
0:51:53 > 0:51:56I've got to try and...
0:51:56 > 0:51:59let myself go and forget things a bit.
0:52:02 > 0:52:04Malcolm and I had a talk and, um...
0:52:06 > 0:52:08Yes, we sort of did a deal,
0:52:08 > 0:52:11really, which he'd sort of talked about before. You could go off
0:52:11 > 0:52:15- on a cruise and he would go into respite.- Right.- Did you?
0:52:16 > 0:52:19- Yes.- Do you mean it? - You're worth it.
0:52:19 > 0:52:23- And do you still feel today that's all right?- Yes.
0:52:23 > 0:52:27- What made you change, Malcolm? - If I told Lesley I would, I would.
0:52:29 > 0:52:33- He can't go back on it now, can he? - No.
0:52:33 > 0:52:37I get worried in case she leaves me, but I know now she wouldn't.
0:52:41 > 0:52:43So that will be the biggest present in the world, in a way,
0:52:43 > 0:52:47- to give her a week...away.- Yes.
0:52:47 > 0:52:50I love her so much.
0:52:50 > 0:52:53I've got nothing to offer... to offer her...
0:52:55 > 0:52:56I'm really useless.
0:53:02 > 0:53:05Oh, Malcolm. You know she adores you.
0:53:06 > 0:53:09- You KNOW that.- I know, yes.
0:53:12 > 0:53:14She's so lovely.
0:53:14 > 0:53:16Look at me...
0:53:16 > 0:53:18I can't even put a bulb in.
0:53:21 > 0:53:25Because Lesley's been here, she's been doing the cooking,
0:53:25 > 0:53:31the washing up... I've had time to see him as a person
0:53:31 > 0:53:33and not just as...
0:53:35 > 0:53:38I'm going to say the wrong word - a burden.
0:53:38 > 0:53:43I didn't realise how little I showed you affection, really.
0:53:43 > 0:53:47I think because I thought you were disabled...it didn't matter.
0:53:49 > 0:53:50'I'm not invincible.'
0:53:50 > 0:53:54I'm just someone who got very tired...
0:53:56 > 0:54:00Someone who could see people going out, and I was stuck in there.
0:54:01 > 0:54:04That's all I could see. I couldn't see...
0:54:05 > 0:54:07..me as a person any more.
0:54:07 > 0:54:09I didn't have a name.
0:54:09 > 0:54:11I was Malcolm's carer.
0:54:11 > 0:54:14And I am sorry.
0:54:14 > 0:54:16- That's all right, love.- I just didn't realise.- You know you don't
0:54:16 > 0:54:20- have to say sorry, really. - Yeah, but I didn't realise.
0:54:20 > 0:54:23- Well, you can look forward to your holiday now.- Yeah.
0:54:23 > 0:54:26You're going to keep that promise?
0:54:27 > 0:54:29Come on, you silly old fool.
0:54:33 > 0:54:35Very romantic!
0:54:36 > 0:54:39- MAN: Was it nice?- Yes.
0:54:40 > 0:54:43Makes me feel young again!
0:54:46 > 0:54:50- OK, my dear. Well, thank you. Don't move.- Finished now being told
0:54:50 > 0:54:53- what to do and what not to do. - OK, from now on,
0:54:53 > 0:54:55no more telling you what to do!
0:54:55 > 0:54:57It's time for the four visiting pensioners to go home
0:54:57 > 0:54:59after their short stay.
0:54:59 > 0:55:01'Peggy is who she is.
0:55:01 > 0:55:03'She's a stubborn,
0:55:03 > 0:55:05'cantankerous old girl'
0:55:05 > 0:55:10who likes to have a bit of spark with other people.
0:55:10 > 0:55:11Bye-bye.
0:55:11 > 0:55:14He's a nice man.
0:55:14 > 0:55:17Couldn't have had anybody nicer, really.
0:55:17 > 0:55:21I think it's just been a kind of wake-up call in some ways,
0:55:21 > 0:55:26that old age is pretty much round the next corner for me.
0:55:26 > 0:55:30I'm not going to be getting on a plane every five days.
0:55:30 > 0:55:33It's not going to be like that. It's going to be different.
0:55:35 > 0:55:39Do you know something? I arrived here, not knowing what I was
0:55:39 > 0:55:43coming into, but you know, I've really, really loved meeting you.
0:55:43 > 0:55:44I'm really going to miss you.
0:55:48 > 0:55:50- Bye, Ivy.- Bye.- Bye-bye, God bless.
0:55:50 > 0:55:51'I do think,
0:55:51 > 0:55:54'that since we arrived four days ago,
0:55:54 > 0:55:57'we've managed to change Ivy's perspective on some things.'
0:55:57 > 0:56:01So I think that we've both learned things
0:56:01 > 0:56:03about ourselves and each other.
0:56:06 > 0:56:07Cheers, Tony.
0:56:07 > 0:56:10It's been great having you with us and I'm very pleased to see you.
0:56:10 > 0:56:13- It was a laugh, wasn't it? - It has been great, really.
0:56:13 > 0:56:15I wish you wasn't going, tell you the truth.
0:56:15 > 0:56:16- Cheers, mate.- Ta-da.
0:56:18 > 0:56:21- Doesn't seem like four days, does it?- No, it doesn't.
0:56:21 > 0:56:24- Soon gone.- Bye.- Ta-da.
0:56:26 > 0:56:31'I was a bit dubious when we started, but I must say, it's helped me
0:56:31 > 0:56:32'a great deal.'
0:56:32 > 0:56:34Ta-da, mate.
0:56:34 > 0:56:36It's been great. I really enjoyed it.
0:56:39 > 0:56:41I'm going to miss you all!
0:56:42 > 0:56:45'I felt cynical about the whole process, but I can't deny'
0:56:45 > 0:56:51the fact that in the short term at least, for whatever reason,
0:56:51 > 0:56:56we have made a significant change in someone's life.
0:56:57 > 0:56:59LESLEY: I wish you well.
0:56:59 > 0:57:00Thank you, darling.
0:57:02 > 0:57:03- I hope you enjoy respite.- I will.
0:57:03 > 0:57:06I hope you have a wonderful holiday
0:57:06 > 0:57:09and I really thank you for your hospitality.
0:57:11 > 0:57:12Thank you.
0:57:12 > 0:57:16All right, my darling. So, er... Will you show me which way to go?
0:57:16 > 0:57:17Thank you.
0:57:18 > 0:57:22If I were to say what have I learned out of these four days,
0:57:22 > 0:57:25I would say I've learned how lucky I am.
0:57:25 > 0:57:28Thank you. It's been a blast.
0:57:32 > 0:57:35I suppose it seems such a cliche to say live every day
0:57:35 > 0:57:39as if it's your last and appreciate what you've got every day, but I suppose that,
0:57:39 > 0:57:43if anything, this shows you, yeah, that's true.
0:57:43 > 0:57:45- Glad it happened?- Yes.
0:57:47 > 0:57:48- So am I.- Good.
0:57:48 > 0:57:51- I had a wonderful time. - So did I. Really lovely.
0:57:51 > 0:57:52Yeah?
0:57:52 > 0:57:53Give us a kiss.
0:57:53 > 0:57:56MUSIC: "Love Is A Many-Splendored Thing"
0:58:13 > 0:58:15SHE GIGGLES
0:58:17 > 0:58:20- Next time...- I'll be stuck in here for the whole day.
0:58:20 > 0:58:24The four famous pensioners encounter a world even more challenging.
0:58:24 > 0:58:27- Why do they keep me alive? - 'Well, shocked.'
0:58:27 > 0:58:31They enter a world nobody wants to end up in.
0:58:31 > 0:58:32Do you?
0:58:32 > 0:58:36- They're going to become care home residents.- It's like somebody
0:58:36 > 0:58:39holding up a mirror and saying, "this is what you'll be like".
0:58:39 > 0:58:40I've found this very difficult.
0:58:40 > 0:58:42It's my biggest dread in my whole life.
0:58:42 > 0:58:44It's never going to be all plain sailing.
0:58:47 > 0:58:53# Stars shining bright above you
0:58:53 > 0:58:59# Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"
0:58:59 > 0:59:04# Birds singing in the sycamore tree
0:59:04 > 0:59:09# Dream a little dream of me. #
0:59:09 > 0:59:11Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd