0:00:00 > 0:00:00biggest conversation about mums and mental health at
0:00:00 > 0:00:02this special event - recorded in front of an live
0:00:02 > 0:00:03audience - at Blackpool Tower.
0:00:03 > 0:00:12audience - at Blackpool Tower.
0:00:20 > 0:00:27Hello, everybody. We're here at the beautiful Blackpool Tower in this
0:00:27 > 0:00:32gorgeous circus to kick-start the UK's biggest conversation about mums
0:00:32 > 0:00:34and mental health. Everything from postnatal depression, anxiety,
0:00:34 > 0:00:35loneliness, worklife balance, the whole lot.
0:00:35 > 0:00:40Anything that you felt doctor about. We're going to be live. We got 40
0:00:40 > 0:00:48plus. But no, that's not impressive. We got 400 plus mums in the audience
0:00:48 > 0:00:49and some doubts, too. Shout out to the doubts.
0:00:49 > 0:00:53APPLAUSE . There they are. We will be
0:00:53 > 0:01:00discussing the facts, hearing personal stories and looking for
0:01:00 > 0:01:02solutions to the mental health challenges affecting so many mums
0:01:02 > 0:01:07and dads in the UK. We've got our gorgeous panel of experts and not to
0:01:07 > 0:01:10forget of course our mums who have joined us today. Lots of you from
0:01:10 > 0:01:17Blackpool. And you can follow the conversation Facebook, Twitter and
0:01:17 > 0:01:21instant RAM. #mumtakeover. And don't forget today is all about starting
0:01:21 > 0:01:27this conversation. Is going to continue for a long time online.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31It's just a chance to share experiences, share your thoughts,
0:01:31 > 0:01:34your stories and sometimes it's just about hearing somebody say, you know
0:01:34 > 0:01:37what, I recognise that and I have been through it as well. Other
0:01:37 > 0:01:39celebrity mums will head off into the audience and get themselves
0:01:39 > 0:01:43ready and it's a good time to meet our panel. Hi. I'm Annie and I'm the
0:01:43 > 0:01:53editor and chief of net mums. We are replace where 8 million mums come
0:01:53 > 0:01:58and talk every month. And where they can offer
0:01:58 > 0:02:03peer-to-peer support, there's valuable support to get you through
0:02:03 > 0:02:09those tricky days. I am a perinatal psychiatrist
0:02:09 > 0:02:14consultant on the NHS and I'm also chair of the mental health Alliance
0:02:14 > 0:02:16which represents 85 patients and professional organisations all
0:02:16 > 0:02:22committed to improving the mental health of mums and the outcomes for
0:02:22 > 0:02:27them and their babies. And also a presenter on the BBC Two series,
0:02:27 > 0:02:34Trust Me I'm A Doctor. See it in January.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38I'm Claire Law. I work for better start right here in Blackpool. My
0:02:38 > 0:02:45role is to design new services from mums and dads with babies and young
0:02:45 > 0:02:51children as part of the better start your initiative. It is a national
0:02:51 > 0:02:58lottery funded initiative and it is all about improving outcomes.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02Hi everyone. I'm a radio presenter and a DJ. I had my first child last
0:03:02 > 0:03:07year. I struggled with my mental health in the month that followed
0:03:07 > 0:03:14her birth and I feel like, because I got through it all, I have so many
0:03:14 > 0:03:18tips and hopefully some really useful advice for you mums today.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21I'm so excited to be here. Thank you. Let's get this discussion
0:03:21 > 0:03:26started because we've got so many mums and semi-fantastic stories the
0:03:26 > 0:03:27sharing the audience. We'll begin with Eve. Even, hello.
0:03:27 > 0:03:33Hi. I was reading one of your posts
0:03:33 > 0:03:39online the other day, which was so much good information that I wished,
0:03:39 > 0:03:41to be honest, someone had given me on the way home from the hospital.
0:03:41 > 0:03:46Tell us about your experience to start off with.I'm coming at us
0:03:46 > 0:03:49from having never had a mental illness and when I had my son seven
0:03:49 > 0:03:54and half years ago I developed postpartum psychosis and postnatal
0:03:54 > 0:03:57anxiety disorder. I didn't have the Russians love the people talked
0:03:57 > 0:04:01about. I have something very different and dramatic. I had a real
0:04:01 > 0:04:05fear of him and I thought it was evil, I thought he had been sent to
0:04:05 > 0:04:09destroy me. I had hallucinations that I was floating in the air, that
0:04:09 > 0:04:17been buried alive. And I had never heard that having a baby could cause
0:04:17 > 0:04:20this. That was as complete surprise.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Because it seemed so extreme, the symptoms that you have. But they
0:04:22 > 0:04:26started to happen to me within a few hours of having my son when he was
0:04:26 > 0:04:33six years old I was hospitalised in a psychiatric unit to start my
0:04:33 > 0:04:38recovery. And it took me around a year and a half to recover from the
0:04:38 > 0:04:41symptoms I was experiencing because of the soap traumatising. I wrote
0:04:41 > 0:04:44the blog that I did the other day, because myself and my family had
0:04:44 > 0:04:48absolutely no idea where to go awkward to talk to you.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51Can you remember who you first went to?
0:04:51 > 0:04:55Sometimes it is making that first leap, isn't it? One person to tell.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59I remember five days after I had my son I went to the GP and said, had a
0:04:59 > 0:05:04very real fear of him and I didn't why. I didn't want to be near him.
0:05:04 > 0:05:09She told me that I needed some more sleep. And I saw another GP, and
0:05:09 > 0:05:12I've written about this, and she took me to make a cake, gets you
0:05:12 > 0:05:18make up for myself and maybe start feeling a bit better for myself.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Where they well-meaning? It was just that they didn't understand. They
0:05:20 > 0:05:24were well-meaning but I think they hadn't ever seen anything like me
0:05:24 > 0:05:27and they were giving me the life they would maybe give to other
0:05:27 > 0:05:32people for when they come into them something very mild. I genuinely
0:05:32 > 0:05:37think now, working how I do in this mental health, that they had never
0:05:37 > 0:05:41seen anything like me. Really? And how do you. But once
0:05:41 > 0:05:44you've identified what the problem is a modular living through that,
0:05:44 > 0:05:47how do then start to things? What do they do to try make that
0:05:47 > 0:05:52better? The me going into the mother and baby unit was the single best
0:05:52 > 0:05:56thing I ever did. It saved my life. The day I wouldn't it was the day I
0:05:56 > 0:06:00decided I wanted to die. I was heavily medicated. You say
0:06:00 > 0:06:04that so... Casually is not the right word, that
0:06:04 > 0:06:07such a huge thing for anybody. Jinnah was this? I've come to terms
0:06:07 > 0:06:10of maleness in the symptoms that happened to me and my friends always
0:06:10 > 0:06:14say, motherhood has been the making of me but not in the way border was
0:06:14 > 0:06:17going to be. In a new side to myself, a massive stock strength and
0:06:17 > 0:06:23I have reached those steps. I thought us and want to be here. To
0:06:23 > 0:06:27see my recovery and how accepting help from proper health care
0:06:27 > 0:06:31professionals with medication, that it is all right to go into an in
0:06:31 > 0:06:36unit if need be and accepting that you need time and lots of support.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40I've accepted that. I've accepted the depth went to and
0:06:40 > 0:06:42accepted that I'm very much recovered.
0:06:42 > 0:06:47Who have you got? I am here with Fiona. You're the founder of Young
0:06:47 > 0:06:50mum support network.You are an incredible woman. Tell me your
0:06:50 > 0:06:56experiences of becoming a mum. So I became am 13 years ago. And sadly
0:06:56 > 0:06:59for me the person I became pregnant for told me I should terminate my
0:06:59 > 0:07:02pregnancy and if I didn't he would have nothing to do with her. So to
0:07:02 > 0:07:09date he has never seen her and he's never been in her life. So, that,
0:07:09 > 0:07:11for me, was a big shock. First-time pregnancy and being faced with
0:07:11 > 0:07:19rejection was really soul destroying the very embarrassing as well.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23You felt a strange for being a single parent. I did. I felt
0:07:23 > 0:07:27ashamed. I felt the club is the only person had this experience and I
0:07:27 > 0:07:31didn't feel that I was allowed to enjoy pregnancy, if that makes
0:07:31 > 0:07:33sense. Going for the appointment and suchlike that was very kind of... It
0:07:33 > 0:07:40wasn't fun. When you are dealing with a mum in
0:07:40 > 0:07:43that situation, what would you say? People must feel that same pressure.
0:07:43 > 0:07:48What do you say to try and reassure them.I think it's really important.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52What I'm hearing so far today is that there is this huge thing around
0:07:52 > 0:07:59and actually people feel that it is their own responsibility to seek
0:07:59 > 0:08:04help and access online chats. And there is that, of course, but I
0:08:04 > 0:08:06think it's really important that professionals and people working
0:08:06 > 0:08:09with young mums all doubts that working children centres that work
0:08:09 > 0:08:17out in the community, that we really up skill workers and community
0:08:17 > 0:08:21members to actually reach out to people, to routinely ask about how
0:08:21 > 0:08:25they're feeling, are they OK, have they had experiences of trauma or
0:08:25 > 0:08:27difficulties within their lives, just to make more normal to be asked
0:08:27 > 0:08:32that were not always putting the onus onto people defined to help
0:08:32 > 0:08:37themselves. Not just mums today. Dad as well.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Let's talk about that because I think they get overlooked. Mark is
0:08:39 > 0:08:46the founder of others reaching out to campaign to raise awareness about
0:08:46 > 0:08:48postnatal depression in families. Can you tell us a little bit more
0:08:48 > 0:08:51about you and what you do and what you've gone through.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55I was an age dated about mental health. I was 30 years old. I
0:08:55 > 0:08:57remember going into the labour ward in these doctors came rushing in and
0:08:57 > 0:09:05said Europe wife has had an emergency C section. Had a panic
0:09:05 > 0:09:08attack. I've never had one before. But my wife was going to die. She
0:09:08 > 0:09:13went on to have severe postnatal depression. Wales have not got a
0:09:13 > 0:09:19mother and baby unit. Add to give up my job, after her and the baby. I
0:09:19 > 0:09:29had a new mortgage, credit cards, eventually I started to get
0:09:29 > 0:09:31depression as well myself. Suicide thoughts around for five month mark.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35I suffered in silence for six years. My wife got well and it wasn't until
0:09:35 > 0:09:44later had a full on breakdown. I suffered from the feeling of just
0:09:44 > 0:09:49man up, coming from a community of kick boxing. It took a breakdown. My
0:09:49 > 0:09:53physical health was great but by mental health deteriorated to the
0:09:53 > 0:09:55point than for I had a full breakdown.
0:09:55 > 0:10:00And the panel, do feel we just overlooked ads? That we forget them?
0:10:00 > 0:10:03It was interesting hearing you talk about your wife's emergency C
0:10:03 > 0:10:07section because I had won my husband said afterwards that in that
0:10:07 > 0:10:10situation he felt very left out. Like he was a spare part, like he
0:10:10 > 0:10:15was in the way. And afterwards, you are trying so hard to help your wife
0:10:15 > 0:10:20that you felt that you may be to the back-seat, I bet.
0:10:20 > 0:10:25I never told my wife how I was feeling because it did not want to
0:10:25 > 0:10:28impact on her mental health. I suffered for years and I didn't know
0:10:28 > 0:10:31that the nightmares and flashbacks and begin my wife died, waking up in
0:10:31 > 0:10:38the middle of the night, what I knew now is PTS. I went to Spain to men,
0:10:38 > 0:10:44the quicker you get the help the quicker the recovery is.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47Where are you, Carla? I will climb stairs to find you. It's great to
0:10:47 > 0:10:53see you. Tell us about your situation. Because you started
0:10:53 > 0:10:56feeling that isolation, didn't you? After having your kids.
0:10:56 > 0:11:05Yes. My son was born seven weeks early. I had something called
0:11:05 > 0:11:08placenta praevia so I have bleeds every week in the lead up to my
0:11:08 > 0:11:13wedding and my sons birth. The week before the wedding my dad has a
0:11:13 > 0:11:16massive heart attack and couldn't walk me down the aisle and then my
0:11:16 > 0:11:24son came seven weeks early. So I had postnatal depression, quite badly,
0:11:24 > 0:11:27and anxiety. And initially, at the time, I don't think you actually
0:11:27 > 0:11:32realise you have got it. The voters can thinking, though, is this what
0:11:32 > 0:11:36being a mum is like? Didn't enjoy it but I daren't say I didn't enjoy it
0:11:36 > 0:11:38I just pretended that everything was great.
0:11:38 > 0:11:44I remember when the midwife would say, are you OK? I would say yes.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Why did you say yes? To be honest, what you spoke about, really. I was
0:11:48 > 0:11:53terrified I might get my son taken away from me. I'm normally quite a
0:11:53 > 0:11:57social and happy person so I felt like I had to keep that persona up
0:11:57 > 0:12:01and then behind closed doors I was just a mess, really. I didn't sleep
0:12:01 > 0:12:05much at night. I was just worried all the time about death, to be
0:12:05 > 0:12:08honest. For some reason I panic about death anyway. The fact that my
0:12:08 > 0:12:13son came so close to death, really worried me.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Who of you got with you next? I only Kerry and we've been having a chat
0:12:16 > 0:12:22about how everyone talking Panda sparks more thoughts for us. And
0:12:22 > 0:12:26Kerry has one child but she's also stepmum to lots and lots of
0:12:26 > 0:12:30children. But she is also blind so that feeling of excluded are not
0:12:30 > 0:12:32being included is very different for you.
0:12:32 > 0:12:40What you like to ask the panel today? What are you doing to support
0:12:40 > 0:12:42people out there with disabilities? What are you doing? People make a
0:12:42 > 0:12:53lot of assumptions. You know, what resources are there?
0:12:53 > 0:12:57Why don't you take this one, Alan? A lot of what you do is push people in
0:12:57 > 0:13:01the right direction. Specifically with regards
0:13:01 > 0:13:08disabilities we mustn't forget that mental health problems can also be a
0:13:08 > 0:13:11cause of disability. Traditionally bethink about physical health
0:13:11 > 0:13:14problems causing disability but people with mental health problems
0:13:14 > 0:13:17quite often can't even get out of bed, can't get dressed, can get out
0:13:17 > 0:13:21of the house, so I think it is important that we look at disability
0:13:21 > 0:13:28across its breadth. The big key point is that people disabilities
0:13:28 > 0:13:32have very individual needs, whatever disability it is. So it's really
0:13:32 > 0:13:35important to surround ourselves as best we can with a network of people
0:13:35 > 0:13:41to help and support as, just friends and family. And then to seek
0:13:41 > 0:13:46professional help. Without any sense of shame, and it is easily said, but
0:13:46 > 0:13:50difficult to do, but maybe our friends and family can support us to
0:13:50 > 0:13:55seek the help that we need. Who have you got with you?
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Hurley. And you blog about being a parent.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00You got a strong message that you wanted to talk about today.
0:14:00 > 0:14:06It is difficult for Asian monster come out about being mentally
0:14:06 > 0:14:09depressed and everything like that so I just wanted to know what could
0:14:09 > 0:14:17be done by you guys or anyone in higher organisations to make it seem
0:14:17 > 0:14:20more comfortable for months to come out about their mental health? Asian
0:14:20 > 0:14:27mums, definitely. You were nodding at me.
0:14:27 > 0:14:32I am an Asian mum. I think that culturally there was a lot of
0:14:32 > 0:14:35pressure when you even just get married in our culture. There is a
0:14:35 > 0:14:39lot of pressure before you get married to get married when he did
0:14:39 > 0:14:43get married to children. The business microscope that the family
0:14:43 > 0:14:47put over year. In our culture there is so much pressure and there is
0:14:47 > 0:14:51stigma. The considerate about being depressed. It is not the done thing.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55UNC a lot of Asians on TV on Jeremy Kyle and shows like that talking
0:14:55 > 0:14:59about their problems. We just don't do it. It is just not done. But I
0:14:59 > 0:15:07think the best thing that you can do is what you are doing. Setting up
0:15:07 > 0:15:10these and telling all of the mums out there that is OK. It is a
0:15:10 > 0:15:12generational issue. I think it is because our parents are old school
0:15:12 > 0:15:18in their thinking. It is amazing having support. Albeit overbearing
0:15:18 > 0:15:24support, it is still support. I could not have got over my struggles
0:15:24 > 0:15:27with postnatal depression if it was not from my mother's support,
0:15:27 > 0:15:32allowing me to get sleep. Taking the baby so I could have a bath. Those
0:15:32 > 0:15:35things are so important. If it is overbearing it can be hard to deal.
0:15:35 > 0:15:41You just have to make the decisions as a parent and stick to them.
0:15:41 > 0:15:46We are speaking about a lot of our guest today have found it helpful to
0:15:46 > 0:15:49channel something, whether it is talking about is, whether it is
0:15:49 > 0:15:54helping other people, like you were just saying.
0:15:54 > 0:15:59Education has been a channel for you, hasn't it? Yes, definitely. I
0:15:59 > 0:16:06was 18 years old when I had my baby. It was about, you know, it was
0:16:06 > 0:16:10really difficult. I lost all my friends. I have lost, you know, all
0:16:10 > 0:16:18of that sense of... Your life is very different.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21You're instantly separated if your friends are going through the same
0:16:21 > 0:16:24thing as you. . I think what really did help me was going back to
0:16:24 > 0:16:33school. When I was in year 12, I have my baby then I went back to
0:16:33 > 0:16:41year 13 and went into university. I used to, so the part-time mum. You
0:16:41 > 0:16:43know, part-time mum, part-time student. Being around people my age,
0:16:43 > 0:16:48doing things that matter to me and feeling like I was working on my own
0:16:48 > 0:16:51future. That was really helpful because, yes, hearing someone
0:16:51 > 0:16:58actually speaking openly about feeling suicidal, it happens to a
0:16:58 > 0:17:04lot of mums and you feel guilty for then feeling that way. You feel
0:17:04 > 0:17:06selfish, you feel angry with yourself and I think actually,
0:17:06 > 0:17:09getting out there and doing things for you.
0:17:09 > 0:17:14I think the mum go to something that for all of us here that will always
0:17:14 > 0:17:17be there, right? It is a big thing. Thank you for coming today. Thank
0:17:17 > 0:17:25you. The final topical talk about his worklife balance. And of all the
0:17:25 > 0:17:29times you feel guilty probably that moment, maybe it is the first time
0:17:29 > 0:17:33you go off to work after having a baby. You go back after maternity
0:17:33 > 0:17:38leave or it is when you're a late home one day and you missed dinner,
0:17:38 > 0:17:40you must bedtime. Those bits of guilt are really difficult to deal
0:17:40 > 0:17:45with. Mum Gill seems to be a running
0:17:45 > 0:17:48theme. Definitely. I've got a really poorly husband and I beat myself up
0:17:48 > 0:17:55every day, thinking that maybe, you know, I could be a better mum, but I
0:17:55 > 0:18:03don't think I can be a better mum so it's quite emotional, sorry.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06It's totally fine. The beat yourself up for what reason? Just basically
0:18:06 > 0:18:15being a mum and dad. You got a lot on and you have to
0:18:15 > 0:18:18take a minute for you. And it's OK to down about it and it is OK to
0:18:18 > 0:18:28feel that. I think generally, if we didn't feel mum guilt we essentially
0:18:28 > 0:18:30wouldn't be a mum, right? That's your job. It's your job to look at
0:18:30 > 0:18:36and you want the best for them 20 47 so if you feel that you're not
0:18:36 > 0:18:39giving everything you going to feel mum guilt. But that's because you're
0:18:39 > 0:18:43spending yourself in the and you've got a lot done.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Yes, I mean, everybody says to me you're doing an amazing job, I do
0:18:46 > 0:18:50know how you do it. And it's back, I stand back and I think, how am I
0:18:50 > 0:18:59doing this? Is kind of like autopilot. You just do it. You focus
0:18:59 > 0:19:05on your work, what you got to do after work, how many hospital
0:19:05 > 0:19:08appointment you got to go to. The tests, the test that are coming up,
0:19:08 > 0:19:15the results to wait for and is just like every day is a battle.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19It is dad as well. I feel it my role today is to bring the dads in. Bring
0:19:19 > 0:19:24them in, bring them in. I had Sam and Kevin with me.
0:19:24 > 0:19:30How have you been finding today and has anything resonated with you? I
0:19:30 > 0:19:33found there have been so many inspirational points made in so many
0:19:33 > 0:19:37amazing stories. A couple of times I've gone to break into applause but
0:19:37 > 0:19:40there are sleeping babies around this area so would not have been a
0:19:40 > 0:19:44good idea. It's been quick to listen to all those stories. As a dad
0:19:44 > 0:19:48myself, I'm a stand-up comedian as well so I've always been very
0:19:48 > 0:19:50comfortable talking about my own insecurities are my own feelings
0:19:50 > 0:19:55because that's where comedy lives. You don't get laughs from talking
0:19:55 > 0:19:59about how you had a great day. We've all got one ventures like that and
0:19:59 > 0:20:01they've got no good stories whatsoever. But when I started
0:20:01 > 0:20:09blogging about being a dad is mainly women and mainly mums who read my
0:20:09 > 0:20:11blog. They were often coming in saying I'm glad someone has been
0:20:11 > 0:20:15honest about this but that was never something I set out to do. It was
0:20:15 > 0:20:19just a case of, I didn't know what I was denied and it was nice to hear
0:20:19 > 0:20:22that there was a conversation starting between people who were all
0:20:22 > 0:20:28so feeling comfortable admitting that they were struggling.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31I'm really impressed that the Government coming here talking about
0:20:31 > 0:20:34this as well. I was a teenage parenthood 17. When I found out I
0:20:34 > 0:20:42was a father I was very isolated. It literally hang around with a good
0:20:42 > 0:20:44crowd. I remember being in my business class in college not
0:20:44 > 0:20:47talking to anyone in the classroom because I felt that I was different
0:20:47 > 0:20:51from everyone. And I think it's important for us to talk about this,
0:20:51 > 0:20:56you know. We are heading to the end which is
0:20:56 > 0:21:00why wanted to speak to Danielle. You've got a really good question to
0:21:00 > 0:21:03ask which kind of sums up everything that we talk about. It is almost
0:21:03 > 0:21:12impossible, really, to work out and path through life, isn't it? And
0:21:12 > 0:21:13your question is about it all, really.
0:21:13 > 0:21:23Just tell me about your story.My name is Danielle. I am a mum to an
0:21:23 > 0:21:3018-year-old son and my second son was sadly stillborn. I work as a
0:21:30 > 0:21:36public affairs manager and before my first son I wasn't one ounce
0:21:36 > 0:21:41maternal at all and don't really think about having babies around the
0:21:41 > 0:21:47thing. When I went back to work I found it incredibly difficult to try
0:21:47 > 0:21:51and give 100% to work, which is what I had always done. 100% to my son
0:21:51 > 0:21:56who was my whole world. And I just wondered if anyone here had the
0:21:56 > 0:22:04secret to the elusive having it all. I find it completely impossible,
0:22:04 > 0:22:07having half of it, to be honest. So if anyone can share anything with me
0:22:07 > 0:22:13that would be wonderful. I'm a perfectionist personality is
0:22:13 > 0:22:15always give 150% of everything thinking that everything have to be
0:22:15 > 0:22:21perfect. And I've had come to accept, and actually I am a big
0:22:21 > 0:22:25believer now, the 70% rule. Don't tell my boss this. But that 70% is
0:22:25 > 0:22:30enough. Do you know what I mean? Nothing has to be perfect. No one is
0:22:30 > 0:22:34perfect. There are only 24 hours in the day and have those you should be
0:22:34 > 0:22:37asleep so you can only do what you can do.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Let's just get some final thoughts from our mums and from our panel.
0:22:39 > 0:22:44Because I think two hours have flown by about one thing that has been
0:22:44 > 0:22:49really obvious throughout is the themes. The fact that even though we
0:22:49 > 0:22:53are all separate people, different lives, we all have the same fears.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57I think we can do is look at other people think they have got it all.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00And we don't look at, we don't see what's going on behind closed
0:23:00 > 0:23:05holding of two hours flying by. We can all talk about being among
0:23:05 > 0:23:10endlessly. You know, you never run out of topics. You never run dry.
0:23:10 > 0:23:17And I decided fascinating talking to people because, you know, people
0:23:17 > 0:23:20from all walks of life we have the same problems, Saint issues. The
0:23:20 > 0:23:24more that we share the more that we can create more the community.
0:23:24 > 0:23:29I think there is a bit of grass is greener thing. Like, I feel guilt
0:23:29 > 0:23:33for being a working mum and I know that Stacey and with all spoken
0:23:33 > 0:23:37about. But I love the fact that you touched on earlier that you feel
0:23:37 > 0:23:42like you should be working mum. So I think either way you going to feel
0:23:42 > 0:23:47some sort of guilt. I feel really happy that we've confirmed that were
0:23:47 > 0:23:52all going to feel that. Do you know what, it is just so
0:23:52 > 0:23:57inspiring to be in a of people, men and women, who are all on the same
0:23:57 > 0:23:59common ground to have all come together to support one another
0:23:59 > 0:24:04because we all know that we are facing quite an impossible task.
0:24:04 > 0:24:09Nobody is perfect but we're doing a good job every single one of us and
0:24:09 > 0:24:13as long as we stick together and we're there for each other when we
0:24:13 > 0:24:17need it everything is going to be OK. No matter what, as long as you
0:24:17 > 0:24:19unconditionally love and support your children you are doing the
0:24:19 > 0:24:23right thing and you're doing a great job.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24And if you take away the judgment as well.
0:24:24 > 0:24:29If people stop judging each other. It is something within you, you're
0:24:29 > 0:24:33trying to come to terms on something that you're doing. Forget about it.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37You're doing what you're doing. Don't compare, don't judge.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40We are amazing. Thank you, everybody. Thank you to our
0:24:40 > 0:24:49incredible panel and guests. And to you.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Every single person in this room. All of our incredible mums, everyone
0:24:52 > 0:24:56online. Thank you so much, everybody.
0:24:56 > 0:25:01APPLAUSE