0:00:02 > 0:00:04- Pain. - SHE GROANS
0:00:04 > 0:00:06- Labour. - SHE SCREAMS
0:00:06 > 0:00:09- Good girl, well done. - A newborn baby.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13The biggest day for any new mum.
0:00:15 > 0:00:16But what about the dads?
0:00:18 > 0:00:22One in three men in the UK feel left out of the pregnancy
0:00:22 > 0:00:24and sidelined at the birth.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Men do tend to take a back seat.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29We're just really there to take the abuse.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31But all that's about to change.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34This whole pregnancy's happening to me as well, innit?
0:00:34 > 0:00:37I'm not pregnant, but I'm, in a sense, going through it.
0:00:37 > 0:00:42In this brand-new series, first time dads-to-be will get a crash course
0:00:42 > 0:00:45to hopefully become the perfect birthing partners.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Come on, baby. SHE SCREAMS
0:00:48 > 0:00:51- I ain't going to know what's going on. - I don't think I'm prepared at all.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54It's such an unknown to me, and that really scares me.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Guided by midwives with years of experience...
0:00:57 > 0:00:59- Jesus, it's quite heavy.- Yeah.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02We've not done anything like this before.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Working with the father is going to be really different for us.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07..and with each other for moral support...
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Thank God you're here.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12..these men will get closer to the delivery action
0:01:12 > 0:01:14than they could ever have imagined.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16He done brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18I've got a tear in my eye now.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Yeah? Have you? Yeah, lovely isn't it?
0:01:20 > 0:01:22But when push comes to shove...
0:01:22 > 0:01:23Come on, push, push.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Come on, keep it going, babe, keep it going, keep it going.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28..will these dads deliver?
0:01:28 > 0:01:30It's the hardest thing I've ever done, this.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Tonight, two first-time dads-to-be
0:01:39 > 0:01:42in need of some urgent help from the midwives.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48In the seaside town of Plymouth...
0:01:48 > 0:01:50You feel like a bit like a human pin cushion
0:01:50 > 0:01:51when you're pregnant, don't you?
0:01:51 > 0:01:53..is daddy disaster number one, Jamie.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56I don't want to be in there, while she's taking blood,
0:01:56 > 0:01:58cos I don't like needles.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01OK? All done.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Unemployed salesman Jamie and hairdresser Jess
0:02:05 > 0:02:08have been together for nearly three years.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11I saw her in a bikini and just thought, you know,
0:02:11 > 0:02:13"I like that, I'm going to have a bit of that"
0:02:13 > 0:02:15And now I'm stuck with her.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16SHE LAUGHS Yeah.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20Now Jess is 32 weeks pregnant with their first child,
0:02:20 > 0:02:23a baby boy they've already named Oscar.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Oscar, wakey-wakey time, it's breakfast time.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32It's nice to know I'm not firing blanks,
0:02:32 > 0:02:34so I can guess you say I'm proud about that.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Come on, baby boy.
0:02:36 > 0:02:37He's stubborn.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Just like his father.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Convinced birth will be a breeze...
0:02:41 > 0:02:45When Jess is in labour I want to be down here with this big light.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49..Jamie wants Jess to stay away from pain relief drugs during labour -
0:02:49 > 0:02:54after all, birth's as easy as going to the toilet, isn't it, Jamie?
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Come on, boy. I've passed seven-pound poos,
0:02:56 > 0:03:00so, you know, a seven-pound baby can't be that much, can it?
0:03:00 > 0:03:02- SHE SNORTS DERISIVELY - Can't be.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04'If we was giving birth,'
0:03:04 > 0:03:08if it was a man, we'd be told to man up, you know, bit like man flu.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10I don't think labour's going to be easy,
0:03:10 > 0:03:13no-one's said labour's going to be easy, no amount of people.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16- It is.- It's not. - It is.- It's not.
0:03:16 > 0:03:17I just think he's being selfish,
0:03:17 > 0:03:21he's not thinking at all about me, and he's got to think about me.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23My mum knuckled down and got on with it,
0:03:23 > 0:03:26no screaming, no epidural, no gas and air, no nothing.
0:03:26 > 0:03:32I don't think he realises what a painful process it is,
0:03:32 > 0:03:35and obviously he's never going to feel it,
0:03:35 > 0:03:37he's never going to, you know, know what it's like.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39If it wasn't doable,
0:03:39 > 0:03:42then you wouldn't have to give birth that way, would ya?
0:03:42 > 0:03:46- Jamie's digging in his heels. - Cannabis is a drug.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49- Yeah, but...- So you wouldn't do cannabis while you're pregnant.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53He's worried about the effect the drugs will have on unborn son Oscar.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Baby would be fine if I was to have drugs,
0:03:57 > 0:04:01- they wouldn't do it if it harmed... - Go and get some crack, then.
0:04:01 > 0:04:02'What do you want to have drugs for?'
0:04:02 > 0:04:05You stop smoking as soon as you find out you're pregnant,
0:04:05 > 0:04:08then you go in labour and you want drugs, what's going on with ya?
0:04:08 > 0:04:12Completely at her wit's end, Jess is relying on the midwives
0:04:12 > 0:04:16to make Jamie see sense, in just four weeks.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Hopefully the midwife can talk sense into him,
0:04:18 > 0:04:22make him have a more understanding of what I'm going through,
0:04:22 > 0:04:23his focus is all about Oscar,
0:04:23 > 0:04:27but I'm the one that's got to get Oscar into the world.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31270 miles away in an Essex cul-de-sac
0:04:31 > 0:04:34lives hopeless dad-to-be number two.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38Shy bricklayer Billy met his teen sweetheart Grace
0:04:38 > 0:04:41when they were at school and he has never looked back.
0:04:41 > 0:04:42'We've been together six years now,'
0:04:42 > 0:04:45obviously we've got the baby on the way,
0:04:45 > 0:04:47so everything's going pukka, I suppose.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52While man of the house Billy brings home the bacon...
0:04:52 > 0:04:55I've been a brick layer for the last ten years.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57..it's wife Grace who rules the roost.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59With Grace, she does take charge.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02- I could pack myself, but... - Yeah, but you can't fold.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04'She definitely wears the trousers.'
0:05:04 > 0:05:07And not only that, she holds the purse strings as well.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Grace, give us a score.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11'If I want anything I have to go through Grace.'
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Where you going?
0:05:13 > 0:05:15If I'm going out for a drink with the lads.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18I'm popping out for a pint. 'I have to get pocket money off of her.'
0:05:18 > 0:05:21- 20 pounds, that's it.- Ta.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24With their baby boy due in just one month,
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Grace is worried because she needs under-the-thumb Billy
0:05:26 > 0:05:29to man up for the birth.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31- You've got to be a man. - I will be a man.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34In there, you've got to tell me what to do, tell me to breathe.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37- Ah, I will.- Tell me to be strong,
0:05:37 > 0:05:40"Are you all right?" Oh, no. That would wind me up even more.
0:05:40 > 0:05:45He likes to put the front on that he's a macho man,
0:05:45 > 0:05:49but if I had to use one word to describe him, it would be...
0:05:49 > 0:05:51..soppy.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54I'm not looking forward to the birth at all.
0:05:54 > 0:05:55And to make matters worse,
0:05:55 > 0:05:59daddy disaster number two hasn't got a clue where to start.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02With labour itself, I ain't going to be...
0:06:02 > 0:06:06I ain't going to know what's going on, basically.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10And there's an even bigger problem threatening to overshadow their day.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Billy is squeamish.
0:06:12 > 0:06:16If I do see any blood, I'm not going to know what to do.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19I might even faint.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23If Billy fails to man up and overcome his squeamishness in the next four weeks,
0:06:23 > 0:06:27there's every chance this builder will brick it in the delivery room.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29It's a big thing, labour, do you know what I mean?
0:06:29 > 0:06:33So when you're in that situation I probably will be...
0:06:33 > 0:06:35shitting myself.
0:06:35 > 0:06:40So one stubborn dad-to-be, the other soppy and squeamish,
0:06:40 > 0:06:44have both signed up to a unique challenge.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48Ready to transform these lads into superdads in the delivery room
0:06:48 > 0:06:51are two teams of experienced midwives.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55Whipping Billy into shape at Queens Hospital, Romford
0:06:55 > 0:06:57is a team led by Bernie Ahern.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01All dads are squeamish to a certain to an extent when they come here,
0:07:01 > 0:07:02even those that pretend they're hard.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04There's nothing worse than trying to cope
0:07:04 > 0:07:06looking after a woman in labour and worrying about a dad
0:07:06 > 0:07:09who's about to pass out in the background.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Meanwhile, taking on Jamie at Plymouth's Derriford Hospital
0:07:14 > 0:07:18is experienced midwife Clare Southby.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20A midwife for eight years,
0:07:20 > 0:07:23she's well qualified to make Jamie see sense.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Jamie has very strong opinions about pain relief.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28He is really keen that Jessica
0:07:28 > 0:07:31doesn't use any methods of pain relief,
0:07:31 > 0:07:35I need to understand what it is, and why he objects so much,
0:07:35 > 0:07:38and try and help him, hopefully to reassure him.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42- H, Clare.- Hello, Jamie.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Lesson one for Jamie is pain relief.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49Thank you. Come over here and have a look at this.
0:07:49 > 0:07:50To kick off today's session,
0:07:50 > 0:07:54Clare wants to get to the bottom of Jamie's stubborn anti-drugs stance.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57What are your feelings about pain relief, Jamie?
0:07:57 > 0:07:59I'm OK with the gas and air,
0:07:59 > 0:08:02but anything, injections, I don't really like it,
0:08:02 > 0:08:05she hasn't drunk or smoked or took drugs during pregnancy
0:08:05 > 0:08:09so why inject her body with drugs during labour, the most important time of it?
0:08:09 > 0:08:11It's not for recreational purposes, Jamie.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Oh, I know that, but, you know,
0:08:13 > 0:08:16I just don't see the point in injecting her with drugs.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18So is it a concern for the baby, or...?
0:08:18 > 0:08:20- More baby than Jess, you know what I mean?- Uh huh.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23If she wants to inject herself with drugs when she's not pregnant,
0:08:23 > 0:08:25and not carrying my child, that's up to her.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Your language is interesting, Jamie,
0:08:28 > 0:08:34I don't know if I feel terribly happy with this attitude of,
0:08:34 > 0:08:37"I don't want her to have..."
0:08:37 > 0:08:42Jamie, it is HER decision, obviously, if Jess needs pain relief.
0:08:42 > 0:08:48She's the priority and she will decide to take on those forms of pain relief,
0:08:48 > 0:08:52understanding what the relative risks are.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54To get Jamie to see sense,
0:08:54 > 0:08:58Clare wants to explain the risks and benefits of pain relief drugs,
0:08:58 > 0:09:02and how they can help Jess get through the painful ordeal of labour.
0:09:02 > 0:09:08With an epidural, this is used for introducing, a very thin tube.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Urgh, it just makes me cringe.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14OK, so when the anaesthetist knows that this is in the right place, this will come out.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Inserted into the spine, the epidural injection numbs pain
0:09:17 > 0:09:22from the waist down and is chosen by one in three women in labour.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26It is an incredible effective form of pain relief if Jess needed one,
0:09:26 > 0:09:28and the main risk to the baby
0:09:28 > 0:09:31would be is it can cause the baby's heartbeat to drop right down
0:09:31 > 0:09:33and that's why we need to monitor the baby continuously.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Doesn't sound nice at all.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39Diamorphine is another commonly used injected pain relief drug,
0:09:39 > 0:09:41available for Jess.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45Diamorphine is a strong form of pain relief,
0:09:45 > 0:09:47it won't completely take the pain away.
0:09:47 > 0:09:51the way that I describe it is it makes people not care about the pain.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53We don't give that sort of pain relief
0:09:53 > 0:09:56too close to when the baby's about to be born
0:09:56 > 0:09:59because it can make the baby, again, very sleepy and drowsy
0:09:59 > 0:10:04and not take those nice breaths and start breathing by itself.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Thank you.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Hearing the facts hasn't altered Jamie's views in the slightest.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13I look at the pain relief that women get during labour,
0:10:13 > 0:10:15the same as narcotic drugs.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Why? Why would you have that?
0:10:18 > 0:10:21To then have the risk of your baby not being able to breathe properly
0:10:21 > 0:10:25or being drowsy, like he's on drugs.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28I think I was a bit taken aback by his language,
0:10:28 > 0:10:31cos it was very much, "I don't want Jessica to have that,"
0:10:31 > 0:10:34and my immediate reaction there is, well, it's not up to you,
0:10:34 > 0:10:37it's Jessica's right to have whatever pain relief she wants
0:10:37 > 0:10:39and you should be respecting that.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48It's basically like class A drugs, innit?
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Why on earth would anyone want that?
0:10:50 > 0:10:53- Giving birth is very painful. - Can't be that painful.
0:10:53 > 0:10:54Think of me, as well, you know?
0:10:54 > 0:10:57I am thinking about you, but I'm thinking of him more.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58Well, you need to think of me.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02Everyone else is thinking about you, before they're thinking about him,
0:11:02 > 0:11:06so it's only fair that someone, just maybe one person,
0:11:06 > 0:11:08thinks about him before they think about you.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10I am that person.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12'It upsets me,'
0:11:12 > 0:11:14cos he just don't understand anything, so if he thinks he's right
0:11:14 > 0:11:19then that's it, there's no two ways about it and it does upset me.
0:11:19 > 0:11:23Like, I'm trying to tell him what it's like really,
0:11:23 > 0:11:26but he won't listen, and that's the way he'll react
0:11:26 > 0:11:28and that's the way he'll stay.
0:11:28 > 0:11:32While Jamie continues to say no to drugs,
0:11:32 > 0:11:37in Essex, a nervous dad-to-be Billy is about to meet his midwife
0:11:37 > 0:11:40and she's got a baptism of fire in store.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43I want find out how much Billy knows about childbirth
0:11:43 > 0:11:46and to see what he's made of, because at the end of the day
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Grace is going to need a strong man by her side.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52She's invited some colleagues for a mock antenatal class
0:11:52 > 0:11:56and novice dad Billy is going to be the teacher.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00- You excited? Nervous? - Uh, really nervous, yeah.
0:12:00 > 0:12:01So it's just in here.
0:12:02 > 0:12:07Come in. All right, so this is going to be your classroom.
0:12:07 > 0:12:08Come on, don't be shy.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12Bernie wants to see for herself, how much he knows about childbirth
0:12:12 > 0:12:15and how he copes under pressure.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19This is Billy, Billy's going to be a first-time dad very soon,
0:12:19 > 0:12:21and Billy's going to, uh,
0:12:21 > 0:12:24basically going to teach you some antenatal education.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Out of his comfort zone, Billy's first challenge
0:12:26 > 0:12:29is to demonstrate his understanding of labour...
0:12:29 > 0:12:33I feel really uncomfortable, um...
0:12:33 > 0:12:35..and he's not off to a great start...
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Um...I don't know.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42..unable to even face his audience.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Um.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Billy, I have some props for you, OK?
0:12:47 > 0:12:49You can tell exactly what these are
0:12:49 > 0:12:53and then you're going to show us how the baby gets out.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56Um, this is the baby.
0:12:58 > 0:13:03Um, I would say that is the pelvis, as she'd be laying down.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05OK, she might not be lying down, though, Billy.
0:13:05 > 0:13:10If she's standing and then obviously once the baby's gone...
0:13:10 > 0:13:13gone through... Don't want to go through.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19When the baby comes out, you cut the cord - the father, hopefully -
0:13:19 > 0:13:21that's the role I'm going to take, in cutting the cord,
0:13:21 > 0:13:23and then you have this.
0:13:26 > 0:13:27What...
0:13:29 > 0:13:31..feeds the baby.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35To put Billy out of his misery, Bernie wants him to end the class
0:13:35 > 0:13:38by talking about something he does understand.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41The gist of what I can get of a contraction is...
0:13:43 > 0:13:46I don't actually know how to describe a contraction.
0:13:46 > 0:13:51That's when, obviously, it's time to bring Grace in to the hospital, maybe?
0:13:51 > 0:13:53At the end of the session, Bernie's worried.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57I think Billy's quite quiet, he needs to maybe speak up a bit more.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00You can see there's some big holes in his knowledge,
0:14:00 > 0:14:04some gaps he needs to fill and hopefully we'll be able to help him.
0:14:04 > 0:14:10My first original perception of labour was me going in there,
0:14:10 > 0:14:13standing with Grace and the baby coming out and that's it, we go home,
0:14:13 > 0:14:16but obviously there's a lot more to take on board
0:14:16 > 0:14:18and there's a lot more that goes on during labour
0:14:18 > 0:14:20that I need to take on board.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23It's a long road ahead for Billy. And in Plymouth...
0:14:23 > 0:14:27You men don't experience the pain of labour.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30..Jamie isn't showing any signs of progress either.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34She can ask for drugs when the baby's in my arms.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38She ain't putting nothing bad in my son.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41He's still at loggerheads with Jess about pain relief
0:14:41 > 0:14:44because of the side effects it might have on unborn son Oscar.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48It's his second session with midwife Clare
0:14:48 > 0:14:52and she's come up with a different approach to tackle Jamie's strong views.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56I think my concern is that I'm wanting to steer him
0:14:56 > 0:15:01more towards thinking about the fact that this is about Jessica.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04I'm hoping that rather than telling Jamie this,
0:15:04 > 0:15:07that he's going to come to understand this himself.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11Clare knows it's crucial that Jamie empathises with Jess
0:15:11 > 0:15:13during pregnancy and at the birth.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17So she's going to hit him with a graphic account
0:15:17 > 0:15:21of what Jess will go through to bring Oscar into the world.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23- Jesus, it's quite heavy.- Yeah.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27See, that's a realistic term-size baby and weight that...
0:15:27 > 0:15:30- Really? - ..Jess is going to be carrying about.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- Crikey, that thing's heavy.- It's hard work being pregnant, isn't it?
0:15:33 > 0:15:35What Clare wants Jamie to realise
0:15:35 > 0:15:39is that getting the average seven pound, four ounce baby
0:15:39 > 0:15:42out of the tiny entrance to the womb is a painful process.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45So what's this bit? Do you know what that is?
0:15:45 > 0:15:47I'm not trying to catch you out.
0:15:47 > 0:15:52I'm going to say that is downwards, so the opening into the cervix?
0:15:52 > 0:15:55That is the cervix, this is the neck of the womb.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57I'll show you a bit about the cervix,
0:15:57 > 0:16:02seeing as I think it really helps to be able to visualise these things,
0:16:02 > 0:16:04so the cervix has got to do a lot of changing.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Imagine this is the neck of the womb.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09It's a tube, it's going to be quite firm
0:16:09 > 0:16:11and it's going to be closed,
0:16:11 > 0:16:15but as that head starts pressing down, it starts opening.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17That's the cervix opening that's causing that pain
0:16:17 > 0:16:21and not only does it have to get from this, kind of, long tube,
0:16:21 > 0:16:24it's also doing this, it's also opening out,
0:16:24 > 0:16:28and as it opens out it gets thinner and thinner and thinner.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31- This is painful.- Jesus.- Yeah.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34On average it takes nearly ten hours of pain
0:16:34 > 0:16:38for the cervix to stretch to ten centimetres to get the baby out.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42So that's the baby's head, this is what we'd call established labour,
0:16:42 > 0:16:44sort of around this point,
0:16:44 > 0:16:47where the cervix is open about three centimetres.
0:16:47 > 0:16:54You don't get this sort of change without the body having to put a huge amount of work in to get to it.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57'Once she showed me that stuff with the cervix, I was imagining my ass doing that'
0:16:57 > 0:17:00and I can imagine that that's pretty painful, so...
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Obviously I don't have a cervix that's closed completely,
0:17:03 > 0:17:06seal water-tight shut, so...
0:17:06 > 0:17:09It might hurt a bit, yeah.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Changing the views, I think.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15Clare's session may have stretched Jamie's imagination,
0:17:15 > 0:17:17but whether he'll back down
0:17:17 > 0:17:20and allow Jess pain relief at the birth remains to be seen.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Meanwhile, Billy's back for another session with his midwives,
0:17:26 > 0:17:29and he's got no idea what's in store for him.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35Looking forward to what they've got prepared for me,
0:17:35 > 0:17:37um, a bit nervous as well, in case they put me in an awkward situation,
0:17:37 > 0:17:41but it's all part of the fun, so we'll see how it gets on.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44- Hi, Billy.- You all right? - You know what's going to happen?
0:17:44 > 0:17:47- No.- We're going to give you some work experience in the labour ward.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50We're going to try and get you more comfortable
0:17:50 > 0:17:54with some of the things you'll see on the day when you come in with Grace.
0:17:54 > 0:17:58We have some clothes for you to wear.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01What do you mean I've got to put some clothes on?
0:18:01 > 0:18:06But the new change of clothes does little to reassure Billy.
0:18:06 > 0:18:07Yeah, he looks terrified.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14Billy, going to come help me clean up?
0:18:14 > 0:18:18Today Bernie wants Billy to overcome one of his biggest fears.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21- You scared? - What have I got to clean?
0:18:21 > 0:18:24- You'll find out now.- Dirty utility?
0:18:24 > 0:18:28She believes there's a real risk Billy could faint at the birth...
0:18:28 > 0:18:29Oh, man.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32..unless he confronts his squeamishness.
0:18:32 > 0:18:33Urgh!
0:18:33 > 0:18:36So she presents Billy with a freshly delivered placenta.
0:18:36 > 0:18:40Why does that need cleaning? Surely that just goes in the bin.
0:18:40 > 0:18:44Technically it does, Billy, but we need to examine it first.
0:18:44 > 0:18:48First Bernie shows Billy the baby's umbilical cord.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51- Quite slimy.- They come in all different sizes.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53You have some really, really long ones
0:18:53 > 0:18:56and then sometimes you can have some really, really short ones.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59And here, come on.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02I'm not going to throw it at you, Billy.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06- You have three vessels, you have two arteries and a vein.- Yep.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10- You see them?- Mm-hmm. - The more Bernie teaches Billy...
0:19:10 > 0:19:12I thought it would be thicker than that.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Some of them are, some are really thick, some are really thin.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16You can have cords thinner than this,
0:19:16 > 0:19:18- you can have really thick cords. - Really?- Yep.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20..the more interested he gets...
0:19:20 > 0:19:23So this side, the shiny side, was the baby,
0:19:23 > 0:19:27and it was in its amniotic fluid and it was attached to the cord.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30..and the less concerned he seems to be about his fears.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33It was getting all its nutrients and oxygen from in here.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36Obviously that would be a lot... Would that be a lot bigger?
0:19:36 > 0:19:39It's not very tight on the baby, but it doesn't have, like,
0:19:39 > 0:19:42luxury space, like a penthouse apartment or anything,
0:19:42 > 0:19:45it's literally your basic, like, rugby ball.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47But Rome wasn't built in a day.
0:19:48 > 0:19:49And then this side.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56You want to go stand in the corner, Billy? You feeling OK?
0:19:56 > 0:19:59It looks like a lump of steak, really horrible piece of steak.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02..though squeamish Billy is doing his best.
0:20:02 > 0:20:06Do you want to feel what it actually feels like?
0:20:06 > 0:20:07Do I need to?
0:20:07 > 0:20:11No you don't need to, just you wanted to conquer your fear.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12Urgh.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Feels like one of them stress balls.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23- They're your membranes. - Urgh, don't want to touch that. - They're just like Clingfilm.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25God, it's really thick, isn't it?
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Mm-hmm, a lot different than you expected?
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Yeah, a lot different, yeah.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31And the cord looks totally different to what...
0:20:31 > 0:20:35I thought, obviously before you cut the cord you have clamp it,
0:20:35 > 0:20:38like you said, and then you put the little clip on
0:20:38 > 0:20:40just short of the baby's belly button.
0:20:40 > 0:20:44- Yeah.- And cut it, yeah? - So, what we can do now, Billy,
0:20:44 > 0:20:46is we can practice that, if you wanted.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Would you be up for that?
0:20:48 > 0:20:53Um...I suppose practise makes perfect.
0:20:55 > 0:20:59You need all that to do one cord?
0:20:59 > 0:21:01This is the clamp, all right?
0:21:01 > 0:21:03It ain't going to be like, chop, chop, chop?
0:21:03 > 0:21:05You might have to chop a couple of times.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09Having nearly run out the door at the sight of the placenta...
0:21:09 > 0:21:11So without chopping off my finger.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15..cutting the cord is a real breakthrough for Billy.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18- Yep.- Yep.- There we go.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22Getting close up to labour and birth may help Billy to man up at delivery
0:21:22 > 0:21:25and deal with his squeamish anxiety after all.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27I don't think I could ever have cut the cord before,
0:21:27 > 0:21:31but actually cutting it there has made me feel a lot more comfortable
0:21:31 > 0:21:34with doing it on the day. And now I've seen it and touched it...
0:21:34 > 0:21:36I mean Grace, that could even come out of Grace
0:21:36 > 0:21:40and she could be like, "Whoa," I'll be like, "That's your placenta.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43"Calm down, I've seen one before."
0:21:44 > 0:21:48While Billy has faced up to his biggest fear,
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Jamie is facing his biggest test so far,
0:21:51 > 0:21:54as Jess has gone into labour two weeks before her due date.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Jess's waters have gone today,
0:21:58 > 0:22:01so we're staying in the hospital now until the baby's here,
0:22:01 > 0:22:04so fingers crossed it's going to be within the next 48 hours.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06The midwife sessions have been cut short,
0:22:06 > 0:22:10so despite Clare's best efforts, stubborn Jamie still remains
0:22:10 > 0:22:13firmly opposed to Jess using pain relief.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19At 1am Jess is still in the early stages of labour.
0:22:19 > 0:22:23She's one centimetre dilated and her contractions are mild.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25He's so excited, bless him.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28He's like, "We're going to have him, you're going to have my son!"
0:22:28 > 0:22:31Keeps talking to him, like, "Come on, hurry up!"
0:22:31 > 0:22:34But we're in for a long ride, I think, though.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36It's going to be a long, painful ride.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39It's going to be interesting to see how he copes, ha!
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Oh...
0:22:52 > 0:22:55By 5.30 in the morning it's a different story.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06Jess's contractions have been getting longer and stronger...
0:23:06 > 0:23:08All right?
0:23:08 > 0:23:11..but Jamie has been by her side all night.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14So far she's been managing without pain relief,
0:23:14 > 0:23:17so everything's going to plan... for Jamie.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21So far it's just been let her squeeze my hand and rub her back, basically.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Ow...
0:23:23 > 0:23:27We're getting moved to the labour ward at 6am, hopefully.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Best be...
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Have some gas and air. I think I need some,
0:23:34 > 0:23:36getting sympathy pains and that.
0:23:36 > 0:23:40I look like I've been smoking weed, cos I've been up all night.
0:23:42 > 0:23:43Deep breaths.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50With the birth advancing quickly, they move to the labour ward.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53Want to stop for a minute? OK.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Breathe.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Jess's mum has arrived to help.
0:24:07 > 0:24:12- Breathe.- Despite her pain, Jamie puts his unborn son before Jess.
0:24:12 > 0:24:17Just think of baby Oscar. Think of Oscar, all right?
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Taking one for the team, girl.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27- Ow! - With Jess's pains getting stronger,
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Ceri, the midwife on duty, does a routine check.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Slow your breaths, think about breathing in and breathing out.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35Remember those breathing exercises, Jamie?
0:24:37 > 0:24:38Ow!
0:24:38 > 0:24:41Last time, Jess was one centimetre dilated.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47- Breathe. - You're one centimetre, almost two,
0:24:47 > 0:24:51but it's still not quite doing what we need it to do yet, OK?
0:24:51 > 0:24:55After five painful hours, Jess has dilated one more centimetre.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59With eight centimetres to go until she'll be ready to push,
0:24:59 > 0:25:02it could be hours until baby Oscar arrives,
0:25:02 > 0:25:05and for the first time, Jamie's thinking differently.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08'I feel like she looks in enough pain'
0:25:08 > 0:25:12to want some sort of pain relief, maybe not an epidural,
0:25:12 > 0:25:16but maybe a bit of gas and air or something to take the edge off it,
0:25:16 > 0:25:19but she's like, "No,
0:25:19 > 0:25:21"I want to see how long I can go without it,"
0:25:21 > 0:25:25so fair play to her, I feel quite proud of her at the moment.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28I mean, she's trying, so I can't really fault her.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Aww.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37It's a pat on the back for Jess, and despite backing down slightly...
0:25:41 > 0:25:45..Jamie may realise his dream of a natural, drug-free birth after all.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Over the next few hours,
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Jess continues to battle through her contractions.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Not long, baby, it'll all go away.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00In pain now for nine hours without an epidural,
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Jess is exhausted.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05But Jamie is persisting with helping Jess through
0:26:05 > 0:26:07with natural pain relief methods.
0:26:09 > 0:26:13Nice breaths, you've been practising them at home, haven't ya?
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Still hours away from giving birth,
0:26:18 > 0:26:21if Jess carries on without an epidural
0:26:21 > 0:26:24she might not have the energy to push the baby out.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26That's better.
0:26:26 > 0:26:30It's very emotional going through all this,
0:26:30 > 0:26:34especially when you throw no sleeping, hunger,
0:26:34 > 0:26:36and seeing her in pain.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Ten hours have passed since Jess's contractions started
0:26:39 > 0:26:43and Jamie's anti-drugs opinions are about to be tested.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46How do you feel about waiting for the epidural or having it now?
0:26:46 > 0:26:47What's your thoughts on it?
0:26:47 > 0:26:50I started crying cos I was so tired earlier,
0:26:50 > 0:26:54- I couldn't get comfortable, and... - Yeah.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57It's all right, innit?
0:26:57 > 0:27:00I know what you're going through, and the rest.
0:27:00 > 0:27:04So your opinion's changed, get the epidural in you?
0:27:04 > 0:27:08Witness the first few contractions and how intense they are
0:27:08 > 0:27:12and how Jessica's reacting to them and how you react to Jessica.
0:27:12 > 0:27:16I'm a bit tired, my opinion might be swayed.
0:27:16 > 0:27:21You're exhausted yourself, look at me, going through all the pain.
0:27:21 > 0:27:27It's harder having to support you than what it is going through it.
0:27:27 > 0:27:33I'd say my views on the class A's, if you like,
0:27:33 > 0:27:36were a bit mixed.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41I was only thinking about Oscar and not Jess.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43Obviously I didn't... I knew it was going to be painful,
0:27:43 > 0:27:46I didn't quite understand how much pain she would be in,
0:27:46 > 0:27:48and she's not even in established labour yet,
0:27:48 > 0:27:52so the pain's going to get, like, ten hundred times worse
0:27:52 > 0:27:56than what it is at the minute. And I can see her struggling with it.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58The reality has finally hit home.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01The once-stubborn Jamie has now caved in.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03- I hear you want an epidural.- Please.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06Yeah? Had you thought about epidurals beforehand?
0:28:06 > 0:28:09- I more or less swayed her not to have pain relief.- OK.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12Until we were obviously in labour and then I...
0:28:12 > 0:28:14We seen the full effect of it and thought, Jeez...
0:28:14 > 0:28:17Maybe this isn't as easy as Jamie thought.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19I hold my hands up to that one.
0:28:19 > 0:28:23Jamie finally agrees for Jess to have an epidural.
0:28:23 > 0:28:27- I'm off, in terms of that needle, I'll be no good.- Right, ready?
0:28:27 > 0:28:28See you in a minute, all right?
0:28:28 > 0:28:32Worried he'll pass out, needle-phobic Jamie leaves the room.
0:28:32 > 0:28:34Fighting back the tears.
0:28:34 > 0:28:37It makes you upset seeing someone you love in pain, doesn't it?
0:28:40 > 0:28:44Make it easier on her, no more screaming, no more crying,
0:28:44 > 0:28:46until baby's here hopefully.
0:28:46 > 0:28:50Jess has endured hours of pain, and as the three-inch needle
0:28:50 > 0:28:54is inserted into her back, Jamie can barely watch from the door.
0:29:02 > 0:29:04< Ow!
0:29:04 > 0:29:06SHE SHOUTS WITH PAIN
0:29:06 > 0:29:07But hearing Jess in distress,
0:29:07 > 0:29:12he remembers his need to be a supportive partner and rushes back into the room.
0:29:13 > 0:29:15Ow!
0:29:15 > 0:29:17That's good, that's it.
0:29:17 > 0:29:20Hold still, don't move for about ten seconds.
0:29:23 > 0:29:29It'll be about ten minutes now then things will be quite a lot better.
0:29:30 > 0:29:33- Well done.- Ow.
0:29:33 > 0:29:34OK.
0:29:37 > 0:29:41Oscar, come on, knock-knock.
0:29:41 > 0:29:43Finally a break from the pain,
0:29:43 > 0:29:46and the wait until Jess dilates to ten centimetres.
0:29:53 > 0:29:57I think I was a bit harsh, a lot, very harsh, on what I said.
0:29:59 > 0:30:03I mean, I can understand why Clare wanted to give me a little clip round the ear.
0:30:05 > 0:30:09I suppose it's a necessary risk, isn't it?
0:30:09 > 0:30:13I mean, this labour's not gone the way we wanted it to go.
0:30:13 > 0:30:17Four hours later and Jess is finally ready to push.
0:30:17 > 0:30:21I'm a bit, like... OK, you've got one now, deep breath in,
0:30:21 > 0:30:24and push in your bum. That's it, you see the head.
0:30:24 > 0:30:27He's here. He's here!
0:30:27 > 0:30:30So, nice big deep breath, right the way down into your bum,
0:30:30 > 0:30:32That's it, keep it going.
0:30:32 > 0:30:34- Go on, girl.- Come on.
0:30:34 > 0:30:36That's it. Go on.
0:30:36 > 0:30:39That's it, nice big deep breath, that's it, well done.
0:30:39 > 0:30:42Come on, well done, That's it, lovely.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45- Keep going, that's it, well done. That's it.- Come on.
0:30:45 > 0:30:48- Bit more, bit more, bit more. - My god, it's almost here.
0:30:48 > 0:30:51That's it, well done. Keep going, keep going, keep going.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53That's it, a little bit more.
0:30:53 > 0:30:57It's been 39 hours since her contractions started,
0:30:57 > 0:31:00Jess is exhausted and struggling to push the baby out.
0:31:01 > 0:31:05Stuck in the birth canal, the baby could go into distress.
0:31:06 > 0:31:11Despite the drama, Jamie continues to support Jess as best he can.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13They're setting up the ventouse now, so...
0:31:13 > 0:31:16Whatever gets baby out, safest, safest way.
0:31:16 > 0:31:19She's just going to put a little cup on baby's head, OK,
0:31:19 > 0:31:21so that when you push we pull and we get the baby out
0:31:21 > 0:31:24- and help you along with it. - Jamie needs to keep Jess focussed
0:31:24 > 0:31:29while a ventouse suction cap helps pull the baby out quickly.
0:31:29 > 0:31:30I'm going to be here, all right?
0:31:30 > 0:31:33Just give a little cut when that happens, all right?
0:31:33 > 0:31:34Nice, big, deep breath.
0:31:34 > 0:31:38Jamie and Jess are about to become parents for the first time.
0:31:38 > 0:31:40- Keep going, keep going. - Do panting, a little pant.
0:31:40 > 0:31:43That's it, well done, well done.
0:31:46 > 0:31:50He's a big boy! There he is. Jesus Christ, he's huge.
0:31:53 > 0:31:55BABY CRIES
0:31:56 > 0:32:01Jamie's swallowed his pride about pain relief and stood by Jess
0:32:01 > 0:32:03and after a long, difficult labour,
0:32:03 > 0:32:07eight pound, nine ounce baby Oscar is born safely.
0:32:07 > 0:32:09He's a big boy.
0:32:11 > 0:32:14Really big.
0:32:19 > 0:32:23- JAMIE LAUGHS - He didn't feel that one coming.
0:32:27 > 0:32:31Yeah, you know it's me, don't you? You know my voice, eh?
0:32:31 > 0:32:35Right there. It's quite tough. All right.
0:32:35 > 0:32:37I was very pleased in how Jamie changed his priorities
0:32:37 > 0:32:40when he realised how serious the situation actually got towards the end
0:32:40 > 0:32:42and I think it really, sort of, grounded him a lot more
0:32:42 > 0:32:46and he was really good then, it was really cute to see.
0:32:46 > 0:32:48There you go, open your eyes.
0:32:49 > 0:32:51Good boy.
0:32:53 > 0:32:56It's amazing, innit? The best day.
0:32:56 > 0:32:58Best day of my life so far.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03Big hypocrite, aren't I?
0:33:03 > 0:33:06I said it was all about Oscar and, no, she's not having an epidural
0:33:06 > 0:33:11and then gets here and it was fuck Oscar, get him away from her,
0:33:11 > 0:33:16sort her out, so bit of a hypocrite,
0:33:16 > 0:33:17but it was a really amazing experience.
0:33:17 > 0:33:19Any dad-to-be should be in the delivery room.
0:33:19 > 0:33:23It does get very emotional, but it's all worth it.
0:33:26 > 0:33:31Jess and Jamie's early birth is a reminder there's no time to lose.
0:33:33 > 0:33:35With a week to go, the midwives in Romford
0:33:35 > 0:33:37have stepped up Billy's lessons.
0:33:37 > 0:33:41He's been getting in touch with his feminine side.
0:33:41 > 0:33:43So, do you know anything about breast feeding?
0:33:43 > 0:33:45Uh, no.
0:33:45 > 0:33:47Is it too tight?
0:33:47 > 0:33:52So for actually to make the milk come you could massage the breasts.
0:33:52 > 0:33:56Feel a bit weird having a woman rub my breasts.
0:33:56 > 0:33:58He's taught to understand childbirth
0:33:58 > 0:34:00by comparing it to what he knows best...
0:34:00 > 0:34:03This whole place is your building site,
0:34:03 > 0:34:05technically this is your blueprints
0:34:05 > 0:34:08and everything we need to know about Grace's pregnancy
0:34:08 > 0:34:10has obviously been in here.
0:34:10 > 0:34:14Keep a calm head and stay quite level during the whole process.
0:34:14 > 0:34:16..and taking the strain of labour.
0:34:16 > 0:34:21This is a mild contraction, you're going to contract, ten seconds,
0:34:21 > 0:34:24need to breathe and relax.
0:34:24 > 0:34:27Cheeks are a little bit red.
0:34:27 > 0:34:30So we're going to add on some more weights, you start breathing,
0:34:30 > 0:34:32how does that feel?
0:34:32 > 0:34:36Um...I think I need to go to hospital!
0:34:37 > 0:34:42Three weeks ago Billy was a complete novice with little confidence.
0:34:42 > 0:34:46Now teacher's pet Billy wants to show off how much he's learned.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48So how you feeling?
0:34:48 > 0:34:51I feel fine, no twinges today.
0:34:51 > 0:34:54Do you think you'll know when you have proper contractions?
0:34:54 > 0:34:57When you was out tonight, I read, I was reading online and they said
0:34:57 > 0:35:01you can't mistake it, any stages of labour, cos it's quite strong.
0:35:01 > 0:35:03That's what I says to you yesterday.
0:35:03 > 0:35:06Did you know you can get painful contractions for two days
0:35:06 > 0:35:08- and then the labour could stop? - Really?
0:35:11 > 0:35:15Oh, fun. Say goodnight to the bump. It'll probably be a good idea, Bill.
0:35:15 > 0:35:17I ain't saying goodnight to the bump.
0:35:17 > 0:35:19- Yeah, give the bump a kiss. - No, Grace.- Yeah.
0:35:19 > 0:35:22You've made me do funny things, you can...
0:35:22 > 0:35:24Grace, at the end of the day, I'm a geezer.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26Geezers don't do things like that, yeah?
0:35:26 > 0:35:29But you are soppy, you've got to show your soppy side.
0:35:29 > 0:35:31I'll give you a kiss on the cheek.
0:35:33 > 0:35:36With the birth round the corner, Billy's final preparation
0:35:36 > 0:35:38is a date with new dad Jamie.
0:35:39 > 0:35:42This is Billy's final session before his son is born
0:35:42 > 0:35:46and it's his last chance to get some hands-on experience.
0:35:48 > 0:35:49Hiya, mate. How you doing.
0:35:49 > 0:35:51- I'm Jamie. - Bill. How you doing, mate?
0:35:51 > 0:35:55- This little fella, this is Oscar. - All right, mate?
0:35:56 > 0:35:59So you had much experience with babies then, Bill? Billy?
0:35:59 > 0:36:02Uh, I've never had to look after a baby
0:36:02 > 0:36:05and this is a whole new experience for me, so...
0:36:05 > 0:36:11We can give you a little test today, crash course in baby looking-after.
0:36:11 > 0:36:13Billy's never cared for a newborn baby
0:36:13 > 0:36:16and Jamie's keen to throw him in at the deep end.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19- Have a feel of it.- For real?
0:36:19 > 0:36:21Yeah, man, have him, take him home.
0:36:28 > 0:36:29- Rock him.- Rock him?
0:36:29 > 0:36:31Honestly, he likes it, he likes it rough.
0:36:31 > 0:36:33- Does he really?- Yeah.
0:36:38 > 0:36:39There you go. Sorted.
0:36:41 > 0:36:45The farm runs a music workshop which is a hit with parents and babies alike,
0:36:45 > 0:36:51- so this should be a walk in the park for learner dad Billy.- All right?
0:36:51 > 0:36:54Righty-ho, good morning, everybody. Give us a wave.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01Most of the kids are having a ball,
0:37:01 > 0:37:04but in nervous Billy's arms baby Oscar isn't responding well.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10To be honest, I was really uncomfortable.
0:37:10 > 0:37:14I weren't too sure what to do.
0:37:14 > 0:37:16Billy just, sort of, froze up
0:37:16 > 0:37:19and babies can feel the tense and the uncertainty,
0:37:19 > 0:37:22they need to feel trustworthy, don't they?
0:37:23 > 0:37:28Uncertain Billy tries everything but can't stop Oscar's tears,
0:37:28 > 0:37:32and dad Jamie has to step in a second time.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34Obviously I was uncomfortable with Oscar
0:37:34 > 0:37:36cos he was crying and I couldn't settle him,
0:37:36 > 0:37:38so I was a little bit nervous.
0:37:38 > 0:37:40I think we've scarred Billy for life now,
0:37:40 > 0:37:44he's never going to pick his son up for fear of uncontrollable crying.
0:37:46 > 0:37:48Good practice, though.
0:37:48 > 0:37:51With the music workshop not going quite to plan,
0:37:51 > 0:37:53Billy's keen to get some tips from Jamie
0:37:53 > 0:37:57after his first-hand experience of child birth.
0:37:57 > 0:37:59Right, so what do you want to know, then?
0:37:59 > 0:38:01After his success with the placenta,
0:38:01 > 0:38:04Billy believes he's getting over his fear of blood,
0:38:04 > 0:38:07but this is something Jamie's keen to discuss.
0:38:07 > 0:38:10- Are you squeamish?- Yeah.
0:38:10 > 0:38:12Ah, you're going to have fun.
0:38:12 > 0:38:14I've seen a placenta now, and I've got over it,
0:38:14 > 0:38:16after seeing that on the table and just...
0:38:16 > 0:38:18Yeah, but you've only seen it on the table,
0:38:18 > 0:38:20you haven't seen it when it comes out
0:38:20 > 0:38:24with all the blood and gore and disgustingness...
0:38:24 > 0:38:26That they basically put a bin, if you like,
0:38:26 > 0:38:29with a big plastic bag underneath Jess.
0:38:29 > 0:38:31The baby come out and...
0:38:31 > 0:38:33Yeah, it was a load of...
0:38:36 > 0:38:39Till I met the midwife I thought, like, literally,
0:38:39 > 0:38:41what's the big deal with labour?
0:38:41 > 0:38:43you go into a room, she has the baby, we go home.
0:38:43 > 0:38:47I never realised how much was involved in labour, do you know what I mean?
0:38:47 > 0:38:49Since I've met the midwives and that,
0:38:49 > 0:38:52it has made me feel a bit more confident in myself
0:38:52 > 0:38:54and I know a lot more about labour now,
0:38:54 > 0:38:56so I think, like, I know a little bit more.
0:38:56 > 0:38:59When the midwives are there, I know the things they're checking
0:38:59 > 0:39:02they have to monitor things or their tummy, their contractions.
0:39:02 > 0:39:04I know a bit more about that,
0:39:04 > 0:39:07so I think Grace feels a bit more comfortable as well.
0:39:07 > 0:39:09We're just counting the hours now.
0:39:09 > 0:39:11This is the longest part.
0:39:11 > 0:39:15Despite his confidence, the chat with Jamie has unnerved Billy.
0:39:15 > 0:39:18With only days to go till the due date,
0:39:18 > 0:39:20he's worried again at how he'll cope at the birth.
0:39:20 > 0:39:23Obviously when I spoke to the midwives about labour
0:39:23 > 0:39:24I saw the positive things, I mean,
0:39:24 > 0:39:26they make it sound like we're just going to go in,
0:39:26 > 0:39:29I'm going to comfort Grace and the baby's going to be delivered,
0:39:29 > 0:39:31when obviously I've seen the placenta,
0:39:31 > 0:39:36but seeing it come out of Grace, obviously, who I love, might be a bit more...
0:39:36 > 0:39:39Obviously it's going to hit home a lot more.
0:39:39 > 0:39:42I don't think it's going to help him at all being squeamish.
0:39:42 > 0:39:45When he sees what's coming out of his lady...
0:39:46 > 0:39:48..he might pass out.
0:39:50 > 0:39:53The time has come to find out what Billy's made of.
0:39:54 > 0:39:58It's 11pm and he's brought fiancee Grace to the hospital,
0:39:58 > 0:40:01because she's been having regular contractions.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03Since about four o'clock, they've been between...
0:40:03 > 0:40:06There was ten minutes, for about 30 seconds,
0:40:06 > 0:40:09then they've gone from four to five, between 50 and 60 seconds.
0:40:10 > 0:40:13Grace has been contracting all day,
0:40:13 > 0:40:16we don't really know if it's labour contractions
0:40:16 > 0:40:19or if it's just the beginning of something.
0:40:19 > 0:40:21Either she's going to be here for the night,
0:40:21 > 0:40:24cos her blood pressure's quite high...
0:40:24 > 0:40:26We just need to make a plan for her, really.
0:40:29 > 0:40:33Squeamish bricklayer Billy has spent the past few weeks
0:40:33 > 0:40:37swotting up and manning up to be a dab hand in the labour room.
0:40:37 > 0:40:40- Urgh! - He's confronted his worst fears...
0:40:40 > 0:40:42Practise makes perfect.
0:40:42 > 0:40:46..and is determined to prove that his soppiness and his squeamishness
0:40:46 > 0:40:50won't stop him being the perfect birthing partner.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53Grace is only two centimetres dilated,
0:40:53 > 0:40:56but there's concern as her blood pressure is abnormally high.
0:40:58 > 0:41:03If it remains high, both Grace and the baby's health may be at risk.
0:41:03 > 0:41:06Well, you look, kind of, OK. Kind of.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08- Don't feel it.- Yeah.
0:41:08 > 0:41:12Midwife Anna takes Billy aside to put him in the picture.
0:41:12 > 0:41:14Because her blood pressure is so high,
0:41:14 > 0:41:19they might not want her to go home and continue with this.
0:41:19 > 0:41:21Might want to keep her in?
0:41:21 > 0:41:23They might want to say, "Let's induce instead,"
0:41:23 > 0:41:27and induction in this case means breaking the membranes.
0:41:27 > 0:41:30Grace's mum arrives to offer her support
0:41:30 > 0:41:33and gets the low-down from Billy.
0:41:33 > 0:41:37Anna just monitored her contractions and they seem inconsistent,
0:41:37 > 0:41:40so they're just going to monitor her heart rate.
0:41:40 > 0:41:44They're going to keep her in for now just to monitor her blood pressure,
0:41:44 > 0:41:47do her bloods, they're going to go from there.
0:41:47 > 0:41:48- Is she all right?- Yeah.
0:41:51 > 0:41:55Grace is moved into a birthing room so she can be properly monitored.
0:42:00 > 0:42:02Finally his time has come,
0:42:02 > 0:42:06and he's got the added stress of Grace's rising blood pressure.
0:42:06 > 0:42:09You ought to get into this habit of breathing, Grace.
0:42:09 > 0:42:14Billy's first job is to help Grace through the contraction pain.
0:42:14 > 0:42:17Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth, deep breaths.
0:42:21 > 0:42:23Does help, actually.
0:42:23 > 0:42:26While I've been gone, how many contractions have you had?
0:42:28 > 0:42:30Um, I don't know, about three, I think.
0:42:30 > 0:42:34I think the best thing for you right now is to mobilise,
0:42:34 > 0:42:38walk around in the room, maybe take a shower,
0:42:38 > 0:42:40we need to get these contractions...
0:42:40 > 0:42:43- Going?- Yeah.
0:42:43 > 0:42:46Eager beaver Billy's brimming with enthusiasm,
0:42:46 > 0:42:48but keen to put his new skills into practise,
0:42:48 > 0:42:51he's yet to learn when to keep quiet.
0:42:51 > 0:42:53When you get a contraction, just...
0:42:53 > 0:42:55Yeah, I'm having one now, Bill, shush.
0:42:56 > 0:42:59Want me to massage your back?
0:43:03 > 0:43:07- In through your nose, out through your mouth.- Shut up.
0:43:07 > 0:43:10Give her an epidural, though, you've got to stay in for 24 hours.
0:43:10 > 0:43:12Oh, Bill... Oh, shut up.
0:43:12 > 0:43:17- What if her blood pressure's lower down?- Bill, can you just shush.
0:43:17 > 0:43:20Stop asking those questions, let them do their job.
0:43:22 > 0:43:24They getting stronger?
0:43:24 > 0:43:26Billy's trying to take control,
0:43:26 > 0:43:30but the pain Grace is in has reduced her tolerance levels,
0:43:30 > 0:43:33so his challenge is to help her manage the pain
0:43:33 > 0:43:35and take the insults on the chin.
0:43:35 > 0:43:37- Grace...- Piss off, Bill.
0:43:37 > 0:43:41- Yeah, but your elbow's properly... - Well, move then.
0:43:41 > 0:43:44Mind my hands.
0:43:44 > 0:43:46Oh, yeah, sorry.
0:43:48 > 0:43:51I don't know where you got this aggression from.
0:43:51 > 0:43:54Grace's blood pressure is about to be measured,
0:43:54 > 0:43:56with everyone hoping it's gone down,
0:43:56 > 0:43:58something Billy's able to help with
0:43:58 > 0:44:01under the watchful eye of the midwife.
0:44:01 > 0:44:04- So there, yeah?- Yep. - Does it have to be really tight?
0:44:04 > 0:44:06Hmm, like that, yep.
0:44:08 > 0:44:09Thanks, doc.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12No worries, I'm a midwife, not a doctor.
0:44:17 > 0:44:19- Is it still high?- Yeah, so...
0:44:19 > 0:44:21- It's gone up, innit?- It's gone up?
0:44:21 > 0:44:23The top's gone down and the bottom's gone up.
0:44:23 > 0:44:26If the blood pressure continues to be raised,
0:44:26 > 0:44:29then we might need to start you on a regular medication,
0:44:29 > 0:44:32but we'll give you a first lot, see how the blood pressure responds.
0:44:32 > 0:44:35Have you thought about pain relief?
0:44:35 > 0:44:38I'm just going to see how long I can bear it for, yeah.
0:44:38 > 0:44:42OK, so if you did want an epidural at any point,
0:44:42 > 0:44:44sometimes it can help with the blood pressure.
0:44:44 > 0:44:46If you don't want an epidural, that's fine.
0:44:46 > 0:44:48We can manage the blood pressure.
0:44:48 > 0:44:51Obviously I'm a bit concerned about her high blood pressure.
0:44:51 > 0:44:54Hopefully at three o' clock we'll have a rough idea
0:44:54 > 0:44:57of what's going on with her, her body,
0:44:57 > 0:45:01and we'll know what's going on.
0:45:01 > 0:45:04Grace's cervix needs to be four centimetres dilated
0:45:04 > 0:45:08before she's in established labour,
0:45:08 > 0:45:12but since she came in, she's remained at two centimetres.
0:45:12 > 0:45:16because of her high blood pressure, the doctors want a quick delivery,
0:45:16 > 0:45:19so Billy's keen to see some progress.
0:45:26 > 0:45:31Four I'll be happy with. I'm hoping. Would that be good?
0:45:31 > 0:45:34Well, that'll be enough and then I won't have to do anything.
0:45:34 > 0:45:37We'll just let nature take its time.
0:45:37 > 0:45:40But the news isn't good.
0:45:40 > 0:45:43You're still about two centimetres.
0:45:43 > 0:45:48To move things on, Anna decides to break Grace's waters.
0:45:48 > 0:45:52Make an attempt, see if I can break it.
0:45:52 > 0:45:57- Ooh.- Good girl, well done. There you are, it's all done.
0:45:57 > 0:45:59- Well done, Grace. - Well done, good girl.
0:46:02 > 0:46:06And to further speed up labour, Grace is given a hormone drip,
0:46:06 > 0:46:09which will bring on stronger contractions.
0:46:09 > 0:46:12Let's start the drip.
0:46:12 > 0:46:16And it's not long before Billy sees it take effect.
0:46:16 > 0:46:19- The sooner that baby... - Good girl. Well done.
0:46:20 > 0:46:23- Just keep breathing, bubba. - Grace.- Breathe.- I can't.
0:46:25 > 0:46:27You can do this, come on, breathe.
0:46:27 > 0:46:29- I can't.- You can.
0:46:33 > 0:46:35Come on, bubba.
0:46:37 > 0:46:39Right, Grace, breathe.
0:46:39 > 0:46:44As the contractions get stronger the pain is too much for Grace to bear.
0:46:45 > 0:46:48Billy's support is now more important than ever.
0:46:48 > 0:46:50I never thought it'd be this painful.
0:46:53 > 0:46:56If the pain is too much, we'll call the doctors to come
0:46:56 > 0:46:59and give you an epidural, if that's what you want.
0:46:59 > 0:47:03- Do you want it? - It is really hurting.
0:47:03 > 0:47:04OK, OK.
0:47:08 > 0:47:10Do you want a massage, bubba?
0:47:11 > 0:47:15- Just keep breathing, bub.- Oh...
0:47:15 > 0:47:18Four weeks ago, Billy would never have even been in the room.
0:47:22 > 0:47:25But now his squeamishness is going to be put to the test.
0:47:25 > 0:47:28Oh, my God.
0:47:28 > 0:47:29Good girl.
0:47:32 > 0:47:36Grace is having an epidural, which involves a three-inch needle.
0:47:36 > 0:47:40Let me know when you have a contraction, all right?
0:47:40 > 0:47:44It's a difficult procedure, which doesn't always work first time.
0:47:44 > 0:47:46Ooh.
0:47:46 > 0:47:47Breathe, bubba.
0:47:47 > 0:47:51And locating the precise point can be very tricky.
0:47:51 > 0:47:52I can't stand this no more.
0:47:52 > 0:47:55Once the epidural's done, you'll be all right.
0:47:55 > 0:47:57Billy is trying to support Grace
0:47:57 > 0:48:00as well as battle through his own fears.
0:48:00 > 0:48:03Until the epidural goes in, Grace is having to endure
0:48:03 > 0:48:07the accelerated stronger contractions with no pain relief.
0:48:08 > 0:48:13God, I can't bear this no more. Oh...
0:48:13 > 0:48:15I'm getting stabbing pains in my belly.
0:48:15 > 0:48:20Oh, it's not fine, I'm in pain, oh...
0:48:20 > 0:48:23As the difficulties continue,
0:48:23 > 0:48:26Billy has to watch her become even more distressed.
0:48:26 > 0:48:32But for her mum, seeing Grace in so much pain is too much.
0:48:32 > 0:48:34GRACE GROANS
0:48:36 > 0:48:39I just find it hard seeing her in pain.
0:48:39 > 0:48:42I think he's doing excellent.
0:48:42 > 0:48:43Better than me.
0:48:45 > 0:48:48Back in the room, Billy's hanging in there.
0:48:48 > 0:48:52Argh! I'm getting tingling all down my sides.
0:48:53 > 0:48:56Argh, and again.
0:48:56 > 0:48:58Oh, I just need this epidural now.
0:48:59 > 0:49:01An hour after the procedure started,
0:49:01 > 0:49:05they're no closer to giving Grace the pain relief she's craving.
0:49:05 > 0:49:09Argh, I just want to be out of pain, now.
0:49:14 > 0:49:17Faced with a screaming Grace and a three-inch needle,
0:49:17 > 0:49:20squeamish Billy must stay strong.
0:49:20 > 0:49:23Can't I just have a C-section right now?
0:49:23 > 0:49:25Oh, my god.
0:49:25 > 0:49:28I'm in so much pain now my legs are trembling.
0:49:28 > 0:49:30To give the anaesthetist a better chance,
0:49:30 > 0:49:33Grace is moved into a different position
0:49:33 > 0:49:36and a bigger five-inch needle is used.
0:49:36 > 0:49:38My waters are going, I need something.
0:49:38 > 0:49:40Don't worry about it for the minute.
0:49:47 > 0:49:51Grace is now desperate, and with Billy still supporting her,
0:49:51 > 0:49:53it's time for one last try.
0:49:54 > 0:49:56Want me to hold that up for ya?
0:49:57 > 0:49:58Yeah, that'll be great, thanks.
0:49:58 > 0:50:01You might feel some tingling in your legs, that's normal,
0:50:01 > 0:50:03just let me know.
0:50:05 > 0:50:08- You all right?- Yeah.
0:50:08 > 0:50:11- The needle is out at the back, OK? - Is it working fine now, then?
0:50:11 > 0:50:16It's in place and it felt good, everything else looks good.
0:50:16 > 0:50:21The epidural catheter is finally in place, the needle is removed
0:50:21 > 0:50:23and Grace's pain relief is working.
0:50:23 > 0:50:27And things are suddenly heading in the right direction.
0:50:27 > 0:50:29- You all right, Bill?- She's had...
0:50:29 > 0:50:33In ten minutes she's nine centimetres dilated.
0:50:33 > 0:50:38- No way!- Yeah. There's a bit of cervix in the way.
0:50:38 > 0:50:41- She said she wanted to push. - All they've got to do now before they do anything,
0:50:41 > 0:50:43they've had to put the thing on the baby's head
0:50:43 > 0:50:45just to monitor his heart rate so...
0:50:45 > 0:50:48- Billy, I'm so sorry. - Don't worry about it now.
0:50:48 > 0:50:51It's all right, don't cry.
0:50:51 > 0:50:54- Don't worry about it.- I haven't been very good support for you, have I?
0:50:54 > 0:50:55Don't worry about it.
0:50:55 > 0:50:57After fears he wouldn't be able to stay in the room,
0:50:57 > 0:51:00Billy's now holding it together for everyone.
0:51:00 > 0:51:04I can't let myself cry in front of her cos it'll make her upset
0:51:04 > 0:51:06so I've just had to, sort of, man up
0:51:06 > 0:51:09and throw my emotions, put them to the side
0:51:09 > 0:51:13and just do what I need to do for Grace.
0:51:13 > 0:51:16At daybreak, the midwives change shift.
0:51:16 > 0:51:19Hello, morning. Hello.
0:51:19 > 0:51:21Billy, how have you been getting on?
0:51:21 > 0:51:25Um, I don't know. I think I've been doing OK.
0:51:25 > 0:51:28Let me answer, Billy's been doing great.
0:51:29 > 0:51:35And by 10am, after 11 hours of labour, Grace is ready to push.
0:51:35 > 0:51:38Get ready for some big pushes, yeah?
0:51:38 > 0:51:40- I'll push you in a minute.- OK.
0:51:42 > 0:51:44- Right, let's go for it. - Big long push, Grace.
0:51:44 > 0:51:48The doctors are still concerned about her high blood pressure,
0:51:48 > 0:51:52so she's been given an hour to push the baby out naturally.
0:51:52 > 0:51:54beyond that they could decide to intervene
0:51:54 > 0:51:56and give her an assisted birth.
0:51:58 > 0:52:01It's time for Billy to be the man that Grace needs.
0:52:01 > 0:52:04- Push it, push it.- Keep it going, keep it going, keep going.
0:52:04 > 0:52:07Come on, keep pushing. Push as hard as you can, keep your chin in.
0:52:07 > 0:52:11- That's it, bit longer, longer. - Longer keep going, keep going.
0:52:11 > 0:52:14- Longer, longer, longer. - Keep going, keep going.
0:52:14 > 0:52:17Come on, bubba. Try and concentrate for the next contraction,
0:52:17 > 0:52:20the biggest, hardest push you've got. Chin in.
0:52:20 > 0:52:23Come on, this is it now, this is the one.
0:52:23 > 0:52:26- Push it as hard as you can. - I'm trying, Billy.
0:52:26 > 0:52:28I know you're trying, but...
0:52:28 > 0:52:31try harder. I'm joking. You're doing really well.
0:52:31 > 0:52:33Come on, that's it, that's it - keep going.
0:52:33 > 0:52:35That's it, fantastic, don't let that back.
0:52:35 > 0:52:37Come on, keep it going, babe.
0:52:37 > 0:52:40Try and get one more deep breath and go again.
0:52:40 > 0:52:44Come on, come on, bub. Yes, that's it, come on.
0:52:44 > 0:52:47- Come on, Grace, keep it going. - Keep it going.
0:52:47 > 0:52:49Yep, quickly let that one go, take a deep breath
0:52:49 > 0:52:52and put chin in chest and push again, good girl.
0:52:52 > 0:52:54So with the next one we're really going to go for it,
0:52:54 > 0:52:57cos if we can get to see this baby's head.
0:52:57 > 0:52:59Give it everything you've got. Come on, push.
0:52:59 > 0:53:00That's it, come on, keep it going.
0:53:00 > 0:53:03Push. Oh, my god, I can see it. Grace, I can see the head.
0:53:03 > 0:53:05Push, come on. Oh, come on.
0:53:05 > 0:53:07He's coming, he's coming, push, push, push.
0:53:10 > 0:53:13As soon as his head's out, that's it, we're home, dry.
0:53:14 > 0:53:17With an exhausted Grace struggling...
0:53:17 > 0:53:19Come on, just save all that energy for the next big push.
0:53:19 > 0:53:23- ..Billy's got to be her rock. - Come on, don't stop, don't stop.
0:53:23 > 0:53:24Little big longer, Grace.
0:53:24 > 0:53:27Keep it going, babe, keep it going, he's there, Grace.
0:53:27 > 0:53:28He's right out, now, come on.
0:53:28 > 0:53:30Keep going, babe, Come on, everything you've got.
0:53:30 > 0:53:32You've got him to crown.
0:53:32 > 0:53:35Come on, Grace, I can see him. I've had a look as well.
0:53:35 > 0:53:39- Come on, babe. Give it some welly. - Everything you've got.
0:53:39 > 0:53:42- Ah, I can't.- You can, you can. Come on, he's out, he's out.
0:53:42 > 0:53:44Come on, babe, his head, his head!
0:53:47 > 0:53:50Into your chest for one last push, darling.
0:53:50 > 0:53:53MOTHER SCREAMS WITH DELIGHT
0:53:53 > 0:53:55Oh! Oh, my god!
0:53:57 > 0:53:59He's not crying, though.
0:53:59 > 0:54:02He is, he's got his eyes open! He is!
0:54:02 > 0:54:04Oh, my god, his eyes are open.
0:54:06 > 0:54:09BABY CRIES
0:54:17 > 0:54:22Proud new father Billy doesn't hesitate to cut the umbilical cord.
0:54:24 > 0:54:28Billy and Grace are now parents of seven pound, four ounce baby Ralph.
0:54:35 > 0:54:38Billy manned up and was the crutch that Grace needed.
0:54:38 > 0:54:43I can't believe he's out. I can't believe.
0:54:44 > 0:54:47Congratulations, Mummy and Daddy!
0:54:47 > 0:54:52Me and Grace have just had our first baby, a little boy.
0:54:52 > 0:54:55I can't describe the feelings, the emotions I'm going through right now.
0:54:55 > 0:54:57I thought I was going to be squeamish
0:54:57 > 0:55:00and when Bernie said that I can put my hands on her
0:55:00 > 0:55:02when she pushed and he came out, I couldn't believe it,
0:55:02 > 0:55:05I mean I cut his cord, which I'm really happy about.
0:55:05 > 0:55:08I don't think I'll ever get that feeling back in my entire life.
0:55:08 > 0:55:12I mean, that was the best feeling, experience of my life ever.
0:55:15 > 0:55:19- Two weeks on... - What's the matter?
0:55:19 > 0:55:22- ..and Billy's a changed man. - Getting the hump?
0:55:24 > 0:55:28I wouldn't say I was immature before, but I've definitely matured a lot.
0:55:28 > 0:55:32It's a big, it's a massive step up in life to have a child.
0:55:32 > 0:55:36The dynamics of our relationship have definitely changed
0:55:36 > 0:55:38since the baby's been here.
0:55:38 > 0:55:41I wanted him to man up, and he's took control.
0:55:41 > 0:55:44He's managed everything, so he's done me proud, yeah.
0:55:47 > 0:55:49Yeah, I mean, it was the best experience of my life.
0:55:49 > 0:55:51I'm never, ever going to experience that again.
0:55:51 > 0:55:53I think about it all the time.
0:55:53 > 0:55:56I tell everyone that I've delivered a baby.
0:55:56 > 0:55:58Don't I?
0:56:02 > 0:56:04And since the birth of his son Oscar,
0:56:04 > 0:56:08new dad Jamie isn't so stubborn anymore.
0:56:08 > 0:56:13Yeah, I give Jess more of the benefit of a doubt nowadays.
0:56:13 > 0:56:14I'm open to negotiations.
0:56:16 > 0:56:19Oh, yeah, he listens to me a lot more now.
0:56:19 > 0:56:22Considering he's a very opinionated person,
0:56:22 > 0:56:25now he's changed since I've had Oscar.
0:56:25 > 0:56:27It's what I say goes really, I think.
0:56:30 > 0:56:35Labour was quite traumatic, but beautiful at the same time,
0:56:35 > 0:56:38I wouldn't change Oscar for the world,
0:56:38 > 0:56:41it's the best thing that could happen to anyone.
0:56:43 > 0:56:47Next time in their attempts to be perfect dads in the delivery room...
0:56:47 > 0:56:50I'm hoping it's going to be a faint and not be sick as well.
0:56:50 > 0:56:54..will squeamish joker Brett put his foot in it when it matters most?
0:56:54 > 0:56:57She's bloody cleaning it, I'm not touching it.
0:56:57 > 0:56:58And will text-obsessed Jordan
0:56:58 > 0:57:02hang up the phone and engage in the delivery?
0:57:02 > 0:57:05- You talkin' to me? - You're being an idiot.
0:57:23 > 0:57:26Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd