0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language
0:00:05 > 0:00:09You can't beat a good wedding. Whether it's Will and Kate or little old me getting hitched last year...
0:00:09 > 0:00:11- I, Cherry...- I, Cherry....
0:00:11 > 0:00:14- ..take you, Roly... - ..take you, Roly...
0:00:14 > 0:00:16- ..to be my husband. - ..to be my husband.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20And weddings don't come any more dramatic
0:00:20 > 0:00:23than right here on Don't Tell The Bride.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26- I'm not coming.- Please, I love you.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Where we give one bloke 12 grand
0:00:28 > 0:00:31to organise the biggest day of his bride-to-be's life.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34What could possibly go wrong?
0:00:34 > 0:00:37On one condition - he does it all on his lonesome ownsome.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40- I don't know what she wants. - This is hell on earth.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44The lady gets no say in the big day...
0:00:44 > 0:00:46- Bitterly disappointed. - ..so all she can expect...
0:00:46 > 0:00:47What?
0:00:47 > 0:00:50SCREAMING
0:00:50 > 0:00:51..is the unexpected.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53That's brilliant!
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Oh, Nath!
0:00:55 > 0:00:58Get ready for an emotional rollercoaster ride...
0:00:58 > 0:01:00Get me on the phone, I'll tell him what a bitch is.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03- ..as we remember the ups... - BOTH: Yes!
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- ..and downs of our gallant grooms... - Oops.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09- Oh, my God! - ..and their blushing brides.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11I'm going to kill him!
0:01:11 > 0:01:13The laughter...
0:01:13 > 0:01:15..the tears...
0:01:15 > 0:01:16I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20..and the soppy snogs.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35I woke up after my hen night with a dwarf chained to my ankle.
0:01:35 > 0:01:40- We never did find the key. You all right, Barry?- Fine, thanks.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44Now, planning a wedding isn't easy, but if keeping the bride happy
0:01:44 > 0:01:46and staying sober enough to talk seem hard,
0:01:46 > 0:01:49the planning does at least allow our boys to get creative
0:01:49 > 0:01:51and show off some of their other skills.
0:01:51 > 0:01:56Sadly, most of them don't have any other skills, unlike Barry,
0:01:56 > 0:01:58who does an amazing elephant impression.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Not now, Barry.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08First up, Colin's Willy Wonka wedding cake.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11- "Add half a pint of water, mix..." - Add it all in.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Basically, put it all in. Just bung it in son.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16It's a foolproof recipe.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Just pour, mix...
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Would you be able to put that in for us?
0:02:20 > 0:02:23..and give it to the head chef to cook.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26- 20 minutes.- That's my big cake. Don't burn it.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29It's midnight and their cake has risen.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32- You got it? - Now, they just have to decorate it.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40- That's not bad, that! That is not bad.- Right.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43I bet Willy Wonka didn't get his hands dirty.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46This is a bad idea, this.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49- Gently.- Bit of a mess of a wedding cake, this.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52This is a disaster.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55"Place the cake in the middle of the cake board
0:02:55 > 0:02:56"putting cut side onto the board."
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Colin, what are we doing?
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Don't worry, mate, we'll pull it off.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05"Cover the outside of the cake with a thin layer of frosting."
0:03:05 > 0:03:07- Yeah, mate, that's what you do! - Oh, my God!
0:03:07 > 0:03:10No, you're breaking it on top! I'm not happy, man!
0:03:10 > 0:03:12- It's, like, minging. - Have we got jam and everything?
0:03:12 > 0:03:14We should have bought a cake.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16The boys even have ready-made icing.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Michael Jackson!
0:03:19 > 0:03:21They can't go wrong...
0:03:21 > 0:03:23It's broke.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27The icing is normally put OVER the cake, Colin.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30No, not big enough.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Aw, what?!
0:03:33 > 0:03:34Fuck's sake, man.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38The base of Colin's cake is now stuck to his icing.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43- No, it's breaking like fuck. - Just give up.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45- Just give up.- Yeah!
0:03:45 > 0:03:48It's one o'clock in the morning, we're trying to bake a cake,
0:03:48 > 0:03:51but it doesn't seem to have happened.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Taa-daah!
0:03:57 > 0:03:58State of that on the top, mate.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01- Mm, cake, anyone?- Yeah!
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Mitch made his own pirate-themed invites.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08Not so much pieces of eight, more pieces of crap.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12- James, it's your mother-in-law. - Oh, hello mother-in-law.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Hello, James.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18- Now, when are these invites likely to arrive?- Er, soon.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20The sooner they're out, I would appreciate it.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24Cool. Don't worry about it, Jan, I'm making them tonight
0:04:24 > 0:04:25and probably going through the night.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28- Lovely.- Nice one.- Take care.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30I've got to send of these invites
0:04:30 > 0:04:32and fill people in on what's going on.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34If he's having to make them,
0:04:34 > 0:04:36then he could be running very low on the budget.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39- How much making is he going to do? - I don't know.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Quite a lot, as it goes.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44I like to think of myself as a bit of perfectionist
0:04:44 > 0:04:46with stuff like arts and crafts kind of things anyway,
0:04:46 > 0:04:49so I'm going to make sure they look OK.
0:04:49 > 0:04:50'Nothing to worry about.'
0:04:50 > 0:04:53The end of the evening, you'll say, "James, you've done a good job."
0:04:53 > 0:04:57- I really, truly hope that I will. - Well, I do too because, you know...
0:04:57 > 0:04:59- Otherwise I'm going to break his kneecaps.- Yeah.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Washable finger paint!
0:05:01 > 0:05:05- He lets my daughter down, God help him.- No, he won't, I'm sure he won't.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Fish, seashell, absolutely perfect.
0:05:09 > 0:05:10Pirates!
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Ugh!
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Come the next morning, the riotous clash of pirates,
0:05:24 > 0:05:27surfboards and lovebirds is complete.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Oh, God!
0:05:31 > 0:05:34I stayed up until four in the morning finishing off,
0:05:34 > 0:05:36but I think it's looking worthwhile, you know?
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Sterling effort, Mitch.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42You could always make a video like Dan did. Why not?
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Here's why not.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47We need to have a good balance, don't we,
0:05:47 > 0:05:50- of like niceness as well as cheesiness.- Yeah.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52I haven't seen him for three weeks,
0:05:52 > 0:05:54so it would be a nice little tribute to him.
0:05:54 > 0:05:59- A nice tribute to Mark in a way that is fitting to you.- Yeah.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Cheesy, trashy and camp.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04- THEY LAUGH - Love it.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06- Sit up. - # I need a hero... #
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Mark may not be there but at least his head is.
0:06:09 > 0:06:10Make that two...
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Steve, arm. He's got to be strong.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14# He's got to be strong and he's got to be fast
0:06:14 > 0:06:18# And he's got to be fresh from the fight...
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Yes, that's brilliant.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25# I'm holding on for a hero till the morning light
0:06:25 > 0:06:27# He's got to be strong It's got to be soon
0:06:27 > 0:06:30# And he's got to be larger than life
0:06:30 > 0:06:33# Larger than life...
0:06:33 > 0:06:37Director Charlie's creative concept -
0:06:37 > 0:06:39love songs from Dan to Mark.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41# Left a good job in the city
0:06:41 > 0:06:44# Workin' for the man every night and day
0:06:44 > 0:06:47# And I never lost one minute of sleepin'
0:06:47 > 0:06:50# Worryin' 'bout the way things might have been
0:06:50 > 0:06:52# Big wheel keep on turnin'
0:06:52 > 0:06:55# Proud Mary keep on burnin'
0:06:55 > 0:06:58# Rollin', rollin'
0:06:58 > 0:07:00# Rollin' on the river...
0:07:00 > 0:07:03You can't fault their enthusiasm.
0:07:03 > 0:07:04# Rollin'
0:07:04 > 0:07:06# Rollin' on the river... #
0:07:06 > 0:07:08# The river Do, do, do
0:07:08 > 0:07:10# Do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do
0:07:10 > 0:07:13# All right Yeah
0:07:13 > 0:07:14# All right
0:07:15 > 0:07:17# Uh-huh. #
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Cool, let's go. That's a wrap.
0:07:20 > 0:07:25# Oh, hold your head high
0:07:25 > 0:07:26# Hold on
0:07:26 > 0:07:30# Arms open wide
0:07:30 > 0:07:34# Yeah, the world starts to come alive
0:07:34 > 0:07:38# When you stay close to me
0:07:41 > 0:07:47# Today this could be the greatest day of our lives. #
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd