0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Five years, 48 brave brides.
0:00:08 > 0:00:1048 game-on grooms.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Dozens of dress disasters.
0:00:12 > 0:00:16- Don't panic.- And one near miss.
0:00:16 > 0:00:21- Please, just get on the plane. - I'm not coming. 'Game over.'
0:00:22 > 0:00:27Now we're back for a whole new roller coaster ride
0:00:27 > 0:00:32as 12 more blushing brides leave the biggest day of their lives
0:00:32 > 0:00:34in the hands of the men they love.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39- The grooms get three weeks.- No way.
0:00:39 > 0:00:43- And £12,000.- 12 Gs, man.- Oh, my God.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45- You ready?- Born ready, mate.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49And their brides get no say in how it's spent.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52- I just don't want to do this any more.- So, saddle up for tears.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54He's not going to get the right one.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58- Tantrums.- Why the hell are we at Thorpe Park on my wedding day?!
0:00:58 > 0:01:00And total meltdowns.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05I can't, I can't do anything.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Tonight, daredevil John wants to wow his guests
0:01:08 > 0:01:10by throwing his bride from 10,000 ft.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14Jackie is skydiving today. Yes!
0:01:14 > 0:01:18- But bride, Jackie, doesn't have much of a head for heights.- Oh, my God.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20I think John's an arsehole.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23So, will he win her over with Christmas in a working man's club?
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Do you think he's put any thought into this?
0:01:26 > 0:01:28A commemorative seat in the khazi.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30The John and Jackie Memorial Toilet.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34And a cake modelled on her least-favourite body part.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36- I think he's crossed the line here. - Absolutely livid.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Can this man give this woman...
0:01:38 > 0:01:40I'm going to punch him.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42..her dream wedding?
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Would you honestly do this to me? Honestly?
0:01:44 > 0:01:47- Or will it be more of a nightmare? - It could go either way.
0:01:47 > 0:01:48It can only go one way.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50What if I say I'm not getting out?
0:01:50 > 0:01:54This could be the worst... the worst wedding ever.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Today, 30-year-old Jackie is leaving 29-year-old fiance John
0:02:09 > 0:02:13for the next three weeks to let him arrange their wedding.
0:02:13 > 0:02:18Have definitely made my bed. Now I just need to lie in it.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24John and Jackie both work with young children
0:02:24 > 0:02:27and together with their two cats they share a small flat in Kirkintilloch,
0:02:27 > 0:02:33an old mining town where John was born and has never left.
0:02:33 > 0:02:38I'm probably one of the only ones in Kirky that hasn't had you in the park.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43I'm going to stay here for another 29 years and I'll be happy.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Don't think so.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49City girl Jackie hails from Glasgow's smart West End
0:02:49 > 0:02:52and it's still the only place she'll go for swish nights out.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54I would say I was more cosmopolitan than John.
0:02:54 > 0:02:59Going to parties, going to nice restaurants and bars and things like that.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02While John prefers a pint at his local,
0:03:02 > 0:03:04the Kirky Miners' Social Club.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08There's all sorts of characters in the Miners' and we just all have a laugh.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12It's old guys that have drank there for probably 50 years or more.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14- I'll be one of those guys. - No, you won't.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18But their two worlds collided at the Miners' five years ago
0:03:18 > 0:03:20when Jackie stopped by for a friend's party.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23The first time I'd been in Kirkintilloch.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27I spotted you when I was sitting down with my friend. I said, "Och, she's lovely."
0:03:27 > 0:03:31It then it just went from there. 5½ years on.
0:03:31 > 0:03:38Gave up my city life to come and live and be a country bumpkin, basically.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40She might have moved to the country,
0:03:40 > 0:03:44but trendy Jackie still prides herself on her appearance.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46If I'm going on a night out I can get really dressed up
0:03:46 > 0:03:51and I really like wearing dresses and high heels and all that stuff.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53And John, well, John doesn't.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Why wouldn't you want to marry this man?
0:03:57 > 0:04:01John does have his own sense of style.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04What John would describe as vintage but I'd describe as rubbish.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Not everything has to have something written on it.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11- Got to be different, Jackie. - You are different.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14John certainly is different.
0:04:14 > 0:04:19Last Christmas he decided to celebrate Jackie's favourite time of the year
0:04:19 > 0:04:25by making his own cards wearing a kitsch jumper and growing a moustache.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29So many people just got the card and went, "Right, OK. That's OK."
0:04:29 > 0:04:33And then they were like, "Is that them?!"
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Which might be funny on a Christmas card,
0:04:35 > 0:04:38but not for the biggest day of a girl's life.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42He's got plenty of time to be wacky and zany,
0:04:42 > 0:04:45but I don't think that that's right for our wedding day.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Whereas John has only one rule.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50I want to make this wedding something that Jackie would
0:04:50 > 0:04:52never, ever have expected
0:04:52 > 0:04:58and I want her to be just in total shock from start to finish.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01So, what hope has Jackie got of being happy on her dream day?
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Unlucky, dear.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07This could be the most perfect day or it could be a complete disaster.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11It's time to say goodbye.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Hell, how much have you got in this, man?
0:05:14 > 0:05:17It might only be three weeks but Jackie's taking the cats.
0:05:17 > 0:05:22She wouldn't want to leave John in charge of anything important(!)
0:05:22 > 0:05:24- Oh, wait! - See you in three weeks.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27We'll be man and wife.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- I'm going to miss you. - I'll miss you, too.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34- Bye.- Bye.
0:05:34 > 0:05:39The next time she sees him will be the most important day of both their lives.
0:05:40 > 0:05:44Going to go in and watch the rest of the football.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Ah, the taste of freedom.
0:05:46 > 0:05:50And John's sharing it with his best man, nightclub promoter Cameron.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52They've been best mates for six years,
0:05:52 > 0:05:55so he's happy to help John plan his perfect day.
0:05:55 > 0:06:00Hopefully both of them can be responsible for three weeks.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02I don't think that's very much to ask.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Before he gets married, before he gets the big thumb coming down on his head,
0:06:07 > 0:06:11he's got to live it up. He's not got long left.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13All right.
0:06:13 > 0:06:1715 miles and a whole other world away in Glasgow's West End,
0:06:17 > 0:06:21Jackie and the two cats are settling in with her mum, Carol,
0:06:21 > 0:06:24who'll she be staying with for the next three weeks.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27It's so nice having you home, even just for a wee short while.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31- I love being home.- Aw. - I might not want to leave.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34But when a maverick like John is planning your wedding,
0:06:34 > 0:06:37there's going to be plenty of blue-sky thinking.
0:06:37 > 0:06:45If John is thinking outside of the box then...
0:06:45 > 0:06:51my brain only allows me to think of nice hotels and places like that,
0:06:51 > 0:06:55but who knows what John's brain'll conjure up.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59- First of all...sky-dive, right.- Yep.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03Looking for Jackie to sky-dive down to the ceremony.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07Jackie's never sky-dived, ever in her life and she spoke about it to me.
0:07:07 > 0:07:08I did it once when I was 18
0:07:08 > 0:07:12and the adrenaline you get from it is amazing.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Would be funny to get everybody that's in the place to say,
0:07:15 > 0:07:21"Can everyone please go back outside for the arrival of the bride?" Then just point up to the sky.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Oh, yeah. That's definitely out of the box. Or plane.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28And with the wacky plan hatched, John heads down to his local, the Miners',
0:07:28 > 0:07:31for karaoke and what could be a premonition of his wedding night.
0:07:31 > 0:07:37# All by my self
0:07:38 > 0:07:46# Don't want to live All by myself any more
0:07:47 > 0:07:54# All by myself
0:07:55 > 0:08:00# Don't want to be all by myself... #
0:08:01 > 0:08:02- John?- Yo.
0:08:02 > 0:08:07- Are you decent?- I'm getting there, I'm just getting ready.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10It's the first morning and the boys have an early start.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Throwing your bride out of a plane takes planning.
0:08:13 > 0:08:18You're not going out like that. Or if you're going like that, I'm not walking about with you.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20What's wrong with this? I think it goes.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23- Goes with what, though? - The top goes with the trousers.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26Almost like they were made for each other.
0:08:26 > 0:08:31And is Noel Edmonds going to ask for his jumper back when you finish today?
0:08:35 > 0:08:37A quick change later,
0:08:37 > 0:08:40the boys head 50 miles into the Scottish countryside to check out
0:08:40 > 0:08:45every bride's number one wedding essential - a muddy airfield.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51- It just looks brilliant, just look at it.- It's amazing.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55Can't hear a thing. Can't see a proper building of any sort.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01This is a plane that's been used.
0:09:01 > 0:09:06Jackie's going to be faced with a 10,000 ft freefall into her wedding ceremony
0:09:06 > 0:09:09but that's still not enough pizzazz for showman, John.
0:09:09 > 0:09:15- Do you do the smoke off the shoes. - No, we don't do the tandems.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17You going to ask him next to do initials?
0:09:17 > 0:09:24- "John loves Jackie" in the sky? - Have planes doing love hearts!
0:09:24 > 0:09:28So, that's £750 spent on throwing his lucky bride
0:09:28 > 0:09:32out of a plane for the very first time.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Yeah, this wedding is definitely going to make an impact.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39Nobody'll believe we've pulled this one out of the book.
0:09:39 > 0:09:44- No-one will be predicting this. - This looks amazing.- This is a first.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46This is, for anybody's wedding, I think.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Today, Jackie and her sole bridesmaid, er, Gary,
0:09:52 > 0:09:57are visiting her dream venue in Glasgow's trendy West End.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Best mates for 13 years,
0:10:00 > 0:10:03they both share a taste for the finer things in life.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06- I'll show you the room where the ceremony can take place.- Thank you.
0:10:06 > 0:10:091 Devonshire Gardens is a hotel to the stars
0:10:09 > 0:10:14with Kylie, Justin Timberlake and George Clooney all stopping by.
0:10:14 > 0:10:20- So pretty, isn't it? It's all kind of natural.- It's gorgeous.
0:10:20 > 0:10:25- It's almost like a stately home. - It's not overstated.- It's so modern.
0:10:25 > 0:10:30There's not one element of tack. But you know what they say about a Glasgow wedding?
0:10:30 > 0:10:34There's always a fight, so if you get a good bit of grass somewhere.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39There'll be no fighting at my wedding.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42- Apart from you and John.- Well, yeah.
0:10:42 > 0:10:47Ah, glass of champagne in hand, looking out the lovely windows.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51It's absolutely gorgeous.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Who knows where I'm going to end up?
0:10:54 > 0:10:55Well, John knows.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56For this country boy,
0:10:56 > 0:11:00there's only one possible venue for his reception.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03Yes, it's his beloved local - the Miners'.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05Well, George Clooney might have stopped by.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07You never know.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10This is the first choice, cos this is where me and Jackie met.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Pretty glamorous, as well.
0:11:14 > 0:11:19- I'm not glamorous. Maybe Jackie. - No, you're definitely not glamorous.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Erm, you know, I'm not.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25I don't know if you would call me trendy, would you say I was trendy?
0:11:25 > 0:11:28I'd call you many things, but trendy's not one of them!
0:11:28 > 0:11:32Erm... So, I think, you know...it doesn't have to be glamorous for me.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44The grand function suite would usually be used for bingo nights,
0:11:44 > 0:11:47but John's come up with a classy theme to spruce it up.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50What better than Jackie's favourite time of year?
0:11:50 > 0:11:54- We're going to go for a Christmas tree...- Christmas?! In May?
0:11:54 > 0:12:01We'll have all the rainbow tinsel, massive big tree, all looking right for Jackie.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04Could have a wee Santa's grotto maybe in the corner, or...
0:12:04 > 0:12:10Yeah, I think there's real potential to kind of kit this place out really well and fantastic, you know?
0:12:12 > 0:12:15- What's it going to cost us? - My wedding gift to John.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- Oh, there you go...- From the club.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20- That's a big help. - That is a big help.
0:12:20 > 0:12:25- I suppose for the amount of drink I've spent behind the bar... - Well, I'm thinking of the profits!
0:12:25 > 0:12:28So John's got his reception venue for free.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32But he still hasn't worked out where he's going to hold the ceremony.
0:12:32 > 0:12:37The closest venue to the airfield is Strathallan Castle. So they've gone to take a look.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40It's perfect, isn't it? Outstanding.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44Cameraman down there, with the kilt and everything and the castle in the background...
0:12:44 > 0:12:46The Scottish flag. That's perfect.
0:12:46 > 0:12:52- So this is where you would hold the ceremony?- Yes, this is our main ceremony room.
0:12:52 > 0:12:56The big mirrors and, just... High ceilings, it's excellent.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00- Yeah, there's lots of character. - Yeah. Definitely. - Very traditional, isn't it?
0:13:00 > 0:13:03- What's our kind of... - It would be £500.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05- £500?!- Mm-hm.- Is that all?
0:13:05 > 0:13:07That's fantastic! That's brilliant.
0:13:07 > 0:13:11- Deal or no deal(?) - Deal! That's brilliant.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15Is it, yeah? Oh, definitely. That's a deal on that one.
0:13:15 > 0:13:20That's £500 for the ceremony room. But getting from here to the Miners' for the reception
0:13:20 > 0:13:23would mean a 100-mile round trip.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27It's not exactly what Jackie has in mind for her wedding day.
0:13:27 > 0:13:32I don't want to... You know, the stress for people too, like, be coached into places
0:13:32 > 0:13:34and moved about, and...
0:13:34 > 0:13:37That's why it's so important that it's somewhere in Glasgow,
0:13:37 > 0:13:40and it's somewhere where you can have the full day in the one place.
0:13:41 > 0:13:42It might not be Glasgow -
0:13:42 > 0:13:46but John could hire this 19th-century castle for the entire day,
0:13:46 > 0:13:49keeping the ceremony and the reception together -
0:13:49 > 0:13:51which would surely be the sensible thing to do.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54So what does that kind of, figure out then for like,
0:13:54 > 0:13:56extra for, like, the hiring...?
0:13:56 > 0:13:59For everything, erm... would be £5,000.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01(Do it!)
0:14:01 > 0:14:05That's a step up from the Miners' being free as my wedding present!
0:14:05 > 0:14:07But it's obviously a wee bit different!
0:14:07 > 0:14:11I just think...it's got privacy, it's got pheasants walking about...
0:14:11 > 0:14:14You'd get an amazing game of Cluedo in there, as well.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Miners', Scottish castle...
0:14:16 > 0:14:19£500, or five grand?
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Going to have to think about it tonight.
0:14:21 > 0:14:22Yeah...
0:14:22 > 0:14:25He loves me...he loves me not.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28He loves me...he loves me not.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Surely even John can see what Jackie would prefer out of the two?
0:14:31 > 0:14:36This is the scary thing. If you're thinking like John, where, you know...
0:14:36 > 0:14:41what do you think potentially he could book for a wedding venue?
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Er...the Miners' Club?
0:14:45 > 0:14:47No. He wouldn't...
0:14:47 > 0:14:51To be honest, if John was MY other half, I wouldn't trust him.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54- Thanks, Gary(!)- No, I wouldn't!
0:14:54 > 0:14:56I'm starting to feel a wee bit sick.
0:14:57 > 0:15:02Everyone that I talk to seems to think that I'm going to get married in the Miners', and...
0:15:02 > 0:15:05I would be absolutely devastated if...
0:15:06 > 0:15:09I would be absolutely devastated if he does that.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Because I think that would be... That's just...a joke.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17The small-town boy has made his decision.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19He's following his heart.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22It's important to me that our reception's held somewhere
0:15:22 > 0:15:24that means a lot.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27It's important that we don't for one day of our life
0:15:27 > 0:15:30try and pretend we're something we're not.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34PULP: # I wanna live like common people
0:15:34 > 0:15:37# I wanna do whatever common people do... #
0:15:37 > 0:15:41OK... So the parachute jump isn't the only dive in this wedding, then.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43But it IS free - so John has spent £1,750
0:15:43 > 0:15:48on his skydiving Christmas-themed local boozer wedding.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51And what does a groom spend his money on
0:15:51 > 0:15:53when he's feeling...flush?
0:15:58 > 0:16:00OK...
0:16:01 > 0:16:02Right.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04What to do in here?
0:16:05 > 0:16:09We would have to have... mirrors with the light bulbs,
0:16:09 > 0:16:12nice seats...
0:16:12 > 0:16:15I mean, look at the lighting. There's bits of toilet roll stuck to the ceiling.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19What woman's coming up and throwing...? I don't know.
0:16:19 > 0:16:24That would probably be one thing, is maybe do up the toilets - you know, like mirrors and...
0:16:24 > 0:16:28If you want to put in a whole new toilet suite...feel free.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30HE LAUGHS
0:16:30 > 0:16:34"The John and Jackie Memorial Toilet"(?)
0:16:34 > 0:16:38I'll name the urinal in the Gents after you as well, if you really want.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41They might say that's taking the piss(!)
0:16:43 > 0:16:47It's the start of the second week. And walking fashion disaster John
0:16:47 > 0:16:50has actually ventured into Glasgow city centre
0:16:50 > 0:16:52to try and find the all-important wedding dress.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Hi, how are you doing?
0:16:55 > 0:16:57I'm here to pick a dress for my fiancee.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Anything in mind that you've got for it?
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Something...simple, elegant. You know. Fitting.
0:17:03 > 0:17:07I think she's between, like, an eight and a ten. So a nine?
0:17:07 > 0:17:09Oh, dear God...
0:17:09 > 0:17:12Across town, on Glasgow's smartest street,
0:17:12 > 0:17:17Jackie wants to show Gary and mum Carol her dream dress.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21This is just such a big day.
0:17:21 > 0:17:26My only daughter's wedding - I just want everything to be...perfect.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30CAROL GASPS
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Don't cry...
0:17:36 > 0:17:38- It's gorgeous!- It is, isn't it?
0:17:38 > 0:17:41I don't know why I'm crying -
0:17:41 > 0:17:43because I really like this,
0:17:43 > 0:17:45or because I know that John would never pick anything like this.
0:17:45 > 0:17:50- That... That's the dress. - That's it, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53That is definitely, definitely you.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57I think the thing I most love about it is the...
0:17:57 > 0:18:00- is the bottom. The ruffles. - It's just so different.
0:18:01 > 0:18:06And I just love the fact that it's just... The detail's just so simple.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10And my train at the back is not too long, I think that is
0:18:10 > 0:18:12the kind of perfect kind of length for it.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14SHE SIGHS
0:18:15 > 0:18:18- If he doesn't get that right... - CAROL LAUGHS
0:18:18 > 0:18:21I'm not going to be able to see past this, I don't think.
0:18:22 > 0:18:26Well, wacky John's not wasting any time in finding HIS dress.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29He's even picked up the perfect model.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34- Ta-da! - JOHN HOOTS WITH LAUGHTER
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Is that how you walk(?)
0:18:36 > 0:18:37Oh...!
0:18:37 > 0:18:40That's wrong, that's wrong...
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Is it wrong that I feel comfortable(?)
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Stand and hold my arm.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49How am I supposed to look at Jackie now after seeing you in this?!
0:18:49 > 0:18:52I'll be walking down the aisle and I'll just see her head on you.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Could be worse.
0:18:54 > 0:18:59- Could be YOU walking down the aisle? - If she's not up for it, it might be!
0:18:59 > 0:19:02Cameron might look strangely alluring - but what about the dress?
0:19:02 > 0:19:06Detail-wise, I think it's stunning, you can see the work that's went into it.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10When I saw it on the hanger I thought it looked too blingy,
0:19:10 > 0:19:15but when it's on it just looks more like kind of a nice pattern,
0:19:15 > 0:19:18then when you see it up close you get the sparkle from it.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21I think it's beautiful. But it's totally up to you.
0:19:21 > 0:19:22I can only...wear it for you!
0:19:22 > 0:19:24I can only present it to you as my body lets me.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26How's he got boobies?
0:19:26 > 0:19:27I like it. I like it.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30John's tempted to buy the first dress they've tried on.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33But even HE knows that's a risky strategy.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37Is she going to go off her nut if I've picked a dress in ten minutes?
0:19:37 > 0:19:41Yeah, but you've looked at well over a dozen dresses - that whole rack.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45That's the one that stood out, and that's all totally different designs.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, but I think
0:19:47 > 0:19:51- if you started again at another store you would just be back to square one.- I know.
0:19:51 > 0:19:55Yep... It's only the most important dress of Jackie's life.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58You don't want to confuse yourself by THINKING about it.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00That's the dress. We've nailed it.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03One, two... One...
0:20:03 > 0:20:06That is SO gay.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08- We'll go for that, then.- Fantastic.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11So that's £800 spent, on the very first dress he's tried on.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14I think you go with the gut feeling, and I'm feeling better already.
0:20:14 > 0:20:19Listen, do you think Jackie'll be cool with me wearing her dress before she's actually worn it?
0:20:19 > 0:20:20Fine, mate. She'll be fine.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Well, don't tell her that I never had a shower this morning!
0:20:23 > 0:20:26- Don't tell her you look better in it(?)- That as well!
0:20:29 > 0:20:32Fancy Jackie has a passion for good food and baking.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35So much so, that she made her brother's wedding cake -
0:20:35 > 0:20:37over a hundred individual cupcakes.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42I just think cupcakes are actually so cute,
0:20:42 > 0:20:47so I just quite like things with little cupcake designs on them.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51I do like things to be pretty, and nice, and girly I suppose.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54But she is a touch particular on how they should be made.
0:20:54 > 0:21:00I suppose I am, like, a wee bit of a perfectionist just in terms of, you know, I know what I like.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Even colour-coding the sugary balls.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07When it comes to like, the decorating and things like that, I quite like it. A lot!
0:21:09 > 0:21:12I don't really like eating my own cakes - I think they're too pretty to eat.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Now I want to make my own wedding cake.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21John's got a lot to live up to. But he's not a pretty cupcake kind of guy.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29Well, we're looking for... a cake, obviously! For the wedding.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33A wedding cake? Have you got any idea what you're looking for?
0:21:33 > 0:21:36She's always moaning about the size of her nose, and wants a nose job.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38So this is the perfect chance to cut a wee bit off her nose.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40So I think...
0:21:40 > 0:21:42I think we'll go with a nose-shaped cake.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48I think she'll kill you.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51- So do I. - I would kill you!
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Have you ever made a nose-shaped cake before?
0:21:53 > 0:21:57Made a lot of things - not a nose. We've made a lot of things.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59It's what's relevant to us, but it's always our joke.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02It's about yous, that's true. It's your wedding.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04So we'll go with the nose-shaped cake?
0:22:04 > 0:22:07Can I just clarify for one thing - mate, do whatever you want...
0:22:07 > 0:22:10but I am not backing up a nose cake.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12You're on your tod with that one.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16If she loses the plot, as long as she knows that I've got nothing to do with that.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18It could go either way, I think.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21It can only go one way.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24- All right, don't worry about it. - I'm not worried about it.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26YOU should be worried - I'm not worried about it.
0:22:26 > 0:22:31Now, the thing is...do we go with my nose, is that going to cost more cos it's bigger?
0:22:31 > 0:22:36Or do we go with Jackie's, which is a wee bit more Steffi Graf kind of shape?
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Is there anything else you don't like about Jackie -
0:22:38 > 0:22:43her bum, you want it blown up and put up against the wall(?)
0:22:43 > 0:22:45We've already got her skydiving on her wedding day,
0:22:45 > 0:22:48we've already got her wedding reception
0:22:48 > 0:22:49in the Miners' Social Club,
0:22:49 > 0:22:52so we already are kind of pushing the boundaries,
0:22:52 > 0:22:56and I just feel she deserves, like, a nice traditional wedding cake.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58I think he's crossed the line here. I really do.
0:22:58 > 0:23:04With half his budget left and away from Cameron's voice of reason,
0:23:04 > 0:23:06John's out of control.
0:23:06 > 0:23:10Or should that be, more out of control?
0:23:10 > 0:23:15Oh, here we go! Went on eBay. Got some toilet seats.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17I tell you what, I'm excited opening it.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20Imagine how excited Jackie is going to be sitting on it.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Oh, yeah... That's quality. Look at that.
0:23:25 > 0:23:26# Love cats... #
0:23:26 > 0:23:30I think she'll be happy with that. This could make the wedding day.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33This could make it for Jackie.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37It's the end of week two and John is finally
0:23:37 > 0:23:41attending to practicalities - the guest list.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44He goes to see his parents for help, but like a few other things,
0:23:44 > 0:23:47he hasn't entirely thought it through.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50I don't know if I've counted myself in that.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53MUM LAUGHS
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Do I need to count myself in the 100?
0:23:57 > 0:23:58MUM LAUGHS
0:23:58 > 0:24:01- Why wouldn't you count yourself? - It's your wedding!
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Where's the plan for the start? Is there a plan?
0:24:04 > 0:24:05It's all up here, Father.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08No, it's not! Well, it's leaking out somewhere!
0:24:08 > 0:24:10He swans in, a week before the wedding,
0:24:10 > 0:24:13"Hiya, don't know how many's going. I think that's Jackie's list.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15"Don't know how they'll get there."
0:24:15 > 0:24:19- Your face is going slightly more red that it was before we started.- Red?!
0:24:19 > 0:24:24Doesn't surprise me. Drives me crackers, but doesn't surprise me.
0:24:24 > 0:24:28Are you finished with the invites? They have to go tomorrow.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31But invitations aren't John's priority. The budget is.
0:24:31 > 0:24:35After spending a further three grand on catering and furniture hire,
0:24:35 > 0:24:38John decides to go scrimp on Jackie's hen.
0:24:38 > 0:24:45He's spent a grand total of £38 booking a 'sub crawl'- a trip around
0:24:45 > 0:24:49Glasgow's dodgy pubs, via the subway.
0:24:49 > 0:24:54And it's not long before Jackie works out the modest plans from her designated meeting point.
0:24:54 > 0:24:59Mum, see within see within five minutes of finding out the pub,
0:24:59 > 0:25:03I knew it was a sub crawl. How much planning do you think he put into this?
0:25:03 > 0:25:04I think he's being thoughtless.
0:25:04 > 0:25:09The past three hen nights I've been on, one has been in Vegas,
0:25:09 > 0:25:12one has been in Edinburgh and one has been in Madrid.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16And John thinks it's all right for me to go on the Glasgow subway?
0:25:16 > 0:25:22I mean... See if this is what it is because he is strapped for cash
0:25:22 > 0:25:26and I find out that he's went away somewhere for his stag,
0:25:26 > 0:25:29I will be absolutely livid, cos it's so unfair.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36I'm not sure "fair" entered John's mind when he booked the stag.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39# When I wake up
0:25:39 > 0:25:41# When I know I'm going to be I'm going to be the man
0:25:41 > 0:25:44# Who wakes up next to you
0:25:44 > 0:25:47# And I would walk 500 miles
0:25:47 > 0:25:51# And I would walk 500 more... #
0:25:51 > 0:25:55Yes, the boys are in Berlin and John splashed out
0:25:55 > 0:25:58£1,700 of his budget to get there.
0:25:58 > 0:26:02THEY SING
0:26:12 > 0:26:14ALL: Cheers!
0:26:14 > 0:26:19Let's not kid ourselves on. The stag do is ALWAYS more important than the hen do.
0:26:19 > 0:26:25Every stag do I have been on, has cost ten times as much as a hen do.
0:26:25 > 0:26:32Tomorrow, when she hears that we're in Berlin and she's in
0:26:32 > 0:26:35possibly one of the roughest pubs in Glasgow,
0:26:35 > 0:26:38yeah, she may be a wee bit peeved!
0:26:41 > 0:26:46What's worse, in Glasgow, Jackie's missing her best girlfriend, Rosie,
0:26:46 > 0:26:50who emigrated to Australia and can't make the hen or the wedding.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53I'm absolutely gutted that she can't be here.
0:26:53 > 0:26:58It's not just like... She's not just, erm...
0:27:04 > 0:27:09Its not, like, it's just a friend. It's like...a sister.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13So, I'm really sad that she can't be here.
0:27:21 > 0:27:22(Sorry.)
0:27:22 > 0:27:26Jackie has got 30 other friends coming to the hen,
0:27:26 > 0:27:30so she braves the elements to see what's in store for the rest of the day.
0:27:30 > 0:27:34If it's a sub crawl, I'm putting my foot down. I'm not doing it.
0:27:34 > 0:27:38OK, guys, we have a box that has been delivered by John.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41OK, Jackie, that's for you.
0:27:41 > 0:27:45ALL: Oh, no!
0:27:45 > 0:27:48Well, it looks like we are going on a sub crawl, people.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50Can you just put this in the bin, please?
0:27:50 > 0:27:51GIRLS CHEER
0:27:51 > 0:27:55But with the help of best man, and night club owner, Cameron,
0:27:55 > 0:27:56that's not all John has laid on.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58Oh, my God...
0:27:58 > 0:28:01GIRLS: Ooh!
0:28:01 > 0:28:06At four o'clock, there is a cocktail training class and buffet at O'Couture.
0:28:06 > 0:28:07CHEERING
0:28:07 > 0:28:08Oh...
0:28:08 > 0:28:10GIRLS SHRIEK
0:28:10 > 0:28:12Are we going to the South Side?
0:28:12 > 0:28:14And then at half ten, we're going to The Shed!
0:28:14 > 0:28:16CHEERING
0:28:16 > 0:28:17Are we doing the crawl?
0:28:17 > 0:28:19- Yeah, OK.- OK.
0:28:19 > 0:28:21What happened to the whole "I'm not doing it"?
0:28:21 > 0:28:23It's a good stop, it's a good stop.
0:28:23 > 0:28:27Yeah, right, so we first arrived in the pub and Jackie was on
0:28:27 > 0:28:30the whole, "I'm not doing it!" Now she has seen this lovely itinerary,
0:28:30 > 0:28:32it's "Let's go, let's go!"
0:28:32 > 0:28:35I hear you're interested in cocktails?
0:28:35 > 0:28:38ALL: Yes!!
0:28:38 > 0:28:42While the cocktail class gets in full swing, over in Berlin,
0:28:42 > 0:28:46John's getting taught a very different kind of lesson.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53# Hey, I don't need to change my style
0:28:53 > 0:28:56# Been this way for a long, long while
0:28:56 > 0:28:59# Maybe there's a few things I'll order
0:28:59 > 0:29:01# Sex!
0:29:01 > 0:29:05# Can you teach me all your tricks? #
0:29:05 > 0:29:09And it's not long before the wheels really start to come off.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11CHEERING
0:29:13 > 0:29:14Eugh!
0:29:14 > 0:29:18HE SINGS
0:29:24 > 0:29:28CONTINUES TO SING
0:29:31 > 0:29:33Like father, like son.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46It's four days before the wedding and John's come crashing back down to reality.
0:29:46 > 0:29:48It's a disaster.
0:29:48 > 0:29:53He still hasn't sent out a third of the invites for his Christmas in midsummer wedding.
0:29:53 > 0:29:58I think I've messed up that. I think I've messed up the Miners'.
0:29:58 > 0:30:02I've messed up the fact that I've spent 80 quid on cat toilet seats.
0:30:02 > 0:30:07Need to get the invites out today, need to get the ring, need to get transport.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10I've not even... I've got people turning up for buses I don't even have.
0:30:10 > 0:30:14I need to get this flat tidied. It's disgusting.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17Sick all over the bathroom. Oh...
0:30:17 > 0:30:20I've had 12 grand to spend.
0:30:20 > 0:30:23I could have... I should have looked at more places.
0:30:23 > 0:30:28I had it in my head I wanted the Miners', because that is where we met, and now I'm thinking
0:30:28 > 0:30:30that she is going to go off her nut if it is there.
0:30:30 > 0:30:34It's 50-50 for the skydive. If she can't do a skydive,
0:30:34 > 0:30:40if it's indoors, in the castle, and then Kirky Miners', this could be the worst...
0:30:40 > 0:30:42THE worst wedding ever.
0:30:42 > 0:30:47There's a long list of things to do, and less than £2,000 left to sort it.
0:30:47 > 0:30:51But there's no time to wallow. In Glasgow, bridesmaid Gary is in a kilt shop,
0:30:51 > 0:30:53waiting to meet John for his fitting.
0:30:53 > 0:30:56I was just dead worried that I was going to end up with a dress,
0:30:56 > 0:30:59because John would think that was funny.
0:30:59 > 0:31:00But I'm gay, I'm not a tranny.
0:31:00 > 0:31:05But thankfully, I'm in a kilt shop and, in Scotland, men wear skirts
0:31:05 > 0:31:07and I'm quite happy with that.
0:31:07 > 0:31:12But when John arrives without his right-hand man, he has other ideas.
0:31:12 > 0:31:17- I think I'm going to go for trews. - Are you kidding me on?! Are you being serious here? Trews?
0:31:17 > 0:31:20Probably be going for...a red.
0:31:20 > 0:31:24- Seriously, are you kidding me on? - No, I thought you'd like trews.
0:31:24 > 0:31:27I don't what's worse - a dress or Rupert the Bear.
0:31:29 > 0:31:33I don't know if he's taking the piss or not. I'm hoping he's taking the piss,
0:31:33 > 0:31:36cos if he's not, I'm going to end up at his wedding looking like Teddy Ruxpin.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39What the hell's that all about?
0:31:40 > 0:31:43# Shang-a-lang... #
0:31:44 > 0:31:47- I don't think they're very me. - I'll get you a kilt.
0:31:47 > 0:31:49I'll half in for you to get a kilt.
0:31:49 > 0:31:52Just let Gary do what he wants.
0:31:52 > 0:31:55Just keep everybody happy now, at this point, I think.
0:31:55 > 0:32:00Erm...I can't be bothered with an argument, so I've just... I've let him go with the kilt.
0:32:01 > 0:32:03Gorgeous, gorgeous.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06Gary's got the black and red trim kilt that he wanted,
0:32:06 > 0:32:09but he's not convinced the bedraggled groom is up to the job.
0:32:09 > 0:32:13If Jackie had seen him, she would have got a bit of a shock.
0:32:13 > 0:32:17He just looks quite tired and withdrawn and lethargic.
0:32:17 > 0:32:20I hope that he has not bitten off more than he can chew and been partying too much.
0:32:20 > 0:32:23And two days before the wedding, Jackie's starting to have
0:32:23 > 0:32:25major doubts, too.
0:32:25 > 0:32:29Basically, I just have a constant...
0:32:32 > 0:32:35..ball of nerves in my stomach.
0:32:35 > 0:32:38She's particularly worried about how she's going to look.
0:32:38 > 0:32:43I think, obviously, it would be perfect if I could get my hair up
0:32:43 > 0:32:45and have a veil.
0:32:45 > 0:32:49Do you wear a veil all day? Do you not take it off later on?
0:32:49 > 0:32:50I don't know.
0:32:52 > 0:32:57No, I think you would probably... I think it's an old-fashioned thing that brides change later on.
0:32:57 > 0:33:02- I'm not changing. I want to wear the dress all day.- Yeah.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05You might need to reconsider that, after a skydive(!)
0:33:05 > 0:33:07In Kirky, the invites have been sent out,
0:33:07 > 0:33:11but John still hasn't bought the decorations
0:33:11 > 0:33:14for his Christmas-themed reception. And with no time, money or clue,
0:33:14 > 0:33:17he's having to beg his caterers for extras...
0:33:17 > 0:33:19Can we get you dressed up as Santa, at some point?
0:33:19 > 0:33:21..borrow anything he can get his hands on...
0:33:21 > 0:33:23Oh, look, there's wedding bells!
0:33:24 > 0:33:26Is that a big bauble, as well?
0:33:26 > 0:33:28..even steal from his best man's club...
0:33:28 > 0:33:31- Look at that. There's your colours. - That's the colour scheme.
0:33:31 > 0:33:34There's your disco lights there. Now we're off, we're off!
0:33:34 > 0:33:36I don't think that's that tacky.
0:33:36 > 0:33:40And for the grand finale... get the tree down from the loft.
0:33:45 > 0:33:48It's the day before the wedding and Jackie's getting ready to see
0:33:48 > 0:33:52the dress that John agonised over for all of ten minutes.
0:33:57 > 0:34:01What she doesn't know is that John's organised at least one surprise
0:34:01 > 0:34:05that he won't need to apologise for. He's spent £1,500
0:34:05 > 0:34:08flying best friend Rosie over from Australia -
0:34:08 > 0:34:12and she's downstairs, waiting to bring up Jackie's dress. Aw.
0:34:12 > 0:34:15I am totally bursting at the seams. I am so excited.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18I am shaking like a leaf, my legs are like jelly.
0:34:18 > 0:34:23I'm just absolutely ecstatic to be here and I'm so delighted to be seeing her in five minutes.
0:34:23 > 0:34:30- John's asked us to give you something to put on before you see your dress.- Oh-h! My God!
0:34:30 > 0:34:32We've to make sure, no peeking.
0:34:45 > 0:34:46It's a pink bag.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48THEY BOTH GASP
0:34:48 > 0:34:49Oh, my God!
0:34:51 > 0:34:54SHE CRIES
0:35:03 > 0:35:06Oh, my God. It's brilliant.
0:35:07 > 0:35:11- I can't believe you've...- You're a bridesmaid, you're not a guest.
0:35:11 > 0:35:15- A bridesmaid!- Really? - I'm so excited.
0:35:15 > 0:35:17It's so exciting!
0:35:17 > 0:35:21I just never thought for one second that this would actually happen.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25Oh!
0:35:25 > 0:35:29- It's all John's doing, you know. - At least he's good for something.
0:35:30 > 0:35:31Oh!
0:35:31 > 0:35:34Let's pray he's good at DIY,
0:35:34 > 0:35:37because he's going to have to work into the night on the Miners',
0:35:37 > 0:35:40for it to be anything other than a Christmas turkey.
0:35:40 > 0:35:43Day before the wedding...
0:35:43 > 0:35:45..cleaning seats.
0:35:47 > 0:35:49Back in the bridal shop,
0:35:49 > 0:35:54and Jackie's about to find out whether the dress that looked so good on Cameron
0:35:54 > 0:35:56will look anything as good on her.
0:36:10 > 0:36:11SHE GASPS
0:36:14 > 0:36:16Oh, my God!
0:36:21 > 0:36:25- It's gorgeous.- Oh, my God! - It's beautiful.
0:36:29 > 0:36:32Oh, my God! Oh, my...
0:36:40 > 0:36:42Oh, my God!
0:36:46 > 0:36:51Oh, my God! I'm so happy! I'm so happy!
0:36:51 > 0:36:55Oh, my God! I can't believe that John would pick something like this.
0:36:55 > 0:36:59- Absolutely perfect.- Do you like it? - I love it.
0:37:01 > 0:37:03Oh, my! You look like a bride.
0:37:03 > 0:37:05I feel like a bride.
0:37:07 > 0:37:12I can't believe that he has never bought me anything to wear, ever.
0:37:12 > 0:37:15- That is beautiful. - It'll look good in the Miners'.
0:37:18 > 0:37:22Look, see... When you move, it twinkles.
0:37:22 > 0:37:25It's gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. He's done so well.
0:37:25 > 0:37:29Perfect in every single way that could possibly be perfect.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32It's just so absolutely fitted, it's unbelievable.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34Oh!
0:37:35 > 0:37:36She looks like a princess.
0:37:40 > 0:37:45I'm so glad that he's left Kirky to come and pick a dress in town,
0:37:45 > 0:37:50away from home and with strange townie people.
0:37:51 > 0:37:55Yeah, bought in Glasgow, but it's going to be worn in Kirky.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04It's the morning of the wedding.
0:38:07 > 0:38:12Woke up this morning. It's sunny outside. Jackie Burns is skydiving today.
0:38:12 > 0:38:13Yes!
0:38:14 > 0:38:16Well, I hope.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20In a hotel near the airfield,
0:38:20 > 0:38:24John's sent a hairdresser round to Jackie and the bridal party.
0:38:24 > 0:38:27- Oh-h!- Hello.
0:38:27 > 0:38:29I feel relieved.
0:38:29 > 0:38:31She's brought a colourful bridal bouquet.
0:38:31 > 0:38:36Oh, that's brilliant...but red? Does that mean the theme's red?
0:38:36 > 0:38:38Yeah.
0:38:38 > 0:38:39I don't think I'd have picked red.
0:38:39 > 0:38:44I'd have picked more kinda tealy-green colour, but...
0:38:44 > 0:38:46Not a great start.
0:38:46 > 0:38:50And by the look of the flat, her day might not end well either.
0:38:50 > 0:38:53Jackie's home tonight, better get the place cleaned up.
0:38:53 > 0:38:55This place is a bit of a disaster. It's a total wreck.
0:38:55 > 0:38:58He's currently throwing all the clothes in a bin bag,
0:38:58 > 0:39:01but I don't think that's good enough to bring your new wife home to.
0:39:01 > 0:39:04That's if she's willing to come home at all.
0:39:04 > 0:39:08It's been a lot of surprises. I don't know if I can cope with any more surprises.
0:39:10 > 0:39:14Jackie's been put through an hour-and-a-half of hair and make-up
0:39:14 > 0:39:15to look her very best for the day.
0:39:15 > 0:39:19- Do you love it?- I love it! I love it! Thank you very much.
0:39:19 > 0:39:22Time to see the bridesmaids' outfits.
0:39:24 > 0:39:27JACKIE GASPS My God!
0:39:27 > 0:39:32Yous look so good. Gary, you look so good.
0:39:32 > 0:39:35God, red. It's really red.
0:39:35 > 0:39:38Oh, that dress is gorgeous.
0:39:38 > 0:39:42John chose that? It's amazing.
0:39:42 > 0:39:44Yes, it is.
0:39:44 > 0:39:47It's lovely. It's so nice.
0:39:47 > 0:39:50- I think it definitely feels like it's happening now.- Really?
0:39:50 > 0:39:55We've flown her in from Australia and she's in a bridesmaid's dress and it's only just hitting you?
0:39:55 > 0:39:58An hour later, and the bridal party is ready,
0:39:58 > 0:40:01but probably not for what's in store next.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03Really lucky with the weather.
0:40:03 > 0:40:08Hopefully, if he's got a photographer, we'll be able to go outside for photographs,
0:40:08 > 0:40:10but I don't want to get my dress dirty.
0:40:10 > 0:40:13In Kirky, John and Cameron are heading directly to the castle,
0:40:13 > 0:40:20leaving their guests to pile onto a bus for an hour-and-a-half drive north without a clue what to expect.
0:40:20 > 0:40:24- Possibly Edinburgh.- I know.- A nice house.- Or it could be a field with a tent,
0:40:24 > 0:40:27so we're not sure!
0:40:27 > 0:40:31Well, if you know John like these guys, there's always a story and a drama.
0:40:31 > 0:40:37And the drama has already descended after the girls realise that the bridal car is on a track
0:40:37 > 0:40:39- to an airfield.- (Oh, shit!)
0:40:43 > 0:40:46Oh, no. He wouldn't, would he?
0:40:48 > 0:40:50THEY GASP BOTH: Oh, my God!
0:40:50 > 0:40:55Oh, my God, are we going in a plane somewhere?
0:40:55 > 0:40:58Oh, my God, I'm petrified of flying.
0:40:58 > 0:41:01Oh, my God, there is something going on.
0:41:01 > 0:41:04Jackie, see if he's going to try and do a skydive, I cannae do it.
0:41:07 > 0:41:11Neither can I. I can't. I cannae do it.
0:41:14 > 0:41:16Surely you need a bigger plane than that to sky...
0:41:16 > 0:41:20Surely, health and safety would say you cannot skydive out of a plane
0:41:20 > 0:41:23- in a wedding dress.- People do it.
0:41:23 > 0:41:27Surely you have to take some kind of Valium or something before you do something like that.
0:41:34 > 0:41:35He's having a laugh.
0:41:36 > 0:41:38Ooops!
0:41:41 > 0:41:44I think this is one of his wind-ups.
0:41:44 > 0:41:47If he thinks I'm skydiving, then I'm not.
0:41:47 > 0:41:51Absolutely no way. If that's what he thinks we're going to do, there's no way I'm doing it.
0:41:51 > 0:41:53No way I'm dropping out a plane.
0:41:53 > 0:41:57Seriously...he's at it. He has to be at it.
0:41:57 > 0:42:00Got any poly bags? If she gets in a plane, she'll be sick.
0:42:00 > 0:42:06- No, Jackie, don't even think about it.- See if it's... I can't...
0:42:06 > 0:42:12John's booked both Jackie and Rosie to jump out of the plane, IF they are willing to do it.
0:42:13 > 0:42:18I think you've probably guessed by now that I'm a tandem skydiving instructor.
0:42:18 > 0:42:21And if you want to, we're going to take you tandem skydiving.
0:42:21 > 0:42:24Going to run you through a briefing about what we do.
0:42:24 > 0:42:27Then you can decide if you're going to come with us or not, OK?
0:42:27 > 0:42:31- I can't believe he's done this. - Unfortunately, I can.
0:42:31 > 0:42:36When we leave the aircraft we'll accelerate to 120mph in seven seconds.
0:42:36 > 0:42:38We'll be in freefall for about 30 seconds.
0:42:38 > 0:42:42We'll fly about under the parachute for about five minutes.
0:42:42 > 0:42:44So we fit you into one of these harnesses...
0:42:44 > 0:42:46Can you do this in a dress like this?
0:42:46 > 0:42:50No, we'll take you out of that and put you into something more...
0:42:50 > 0:42:51This is stupid.
0:42:51 > 0:42:56All that time that girl spent this morning doing hair and make-up...
0:42:56 > 0:42:58Could...
0:43:00 > 0:43:04He had to mess it up somewhere. It's been too good.
0:43:04 > 0:43:07It's so stupid. It's such a boy thing to do.
0:43:07 > 0:43:11This is probably the worst possible idea...
0:43:13 > 0:43:15..for the morning of the wedding.
0:43:18 > 0:43:20I think John's an arsehole.
0:43:22 > 0:43:27The boys have made it to the castle, and, for John, ignorance is bliss.
0:43:27 > 0:43:32- One of us should be worried about something and you're obviously wired to the moon.- It's brilliant!
0:43:32 > 0:43:37- It's my wedding day.- I know. - You're supposed to be happy. - I'm over the moon.
0:43:37 > 0:43:41If you're not happy, you shouldn't be getting married, should you? Know what I mean?
0:43:41 > 0:43:46Tell that to Jackie. It's all become too much for her bridesmaid to bear.
0:43:46 > 0:43:48It accelerates very quickly.
0:43:48 > 0:43:51Rosie, don't get upset. Listen...
0:43:51 > 0:43:55You've made a decision you're not doing it. Don't do it. It's absolutely fine.
0:43:55 > 0:44:01- Don't even get upset about it. - I feel physically sick. I feel as if I...
0:44:01 > 0:44:04I don't even know how I'm feeling. It's just horrible.
0:44:04 > 0:44:07It is a really stupid thing to expect somebody to do.
0:44:07 > 0:44:14If he actually thinks that you would be willing to do it, then he is mental.
0:44:14 > 0:44:15He is mental.
0:44:15 > 0:44:21John might have put her in an awful position, but now it's decision time for Jackie.
0:44:29 > 0:44:31OK.
0:44:31 > 0:44:32OK, I'll do it.
0:44:34 > 0:44:37OK. We'll take you, then.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39I'll do it for the both of us.
0:44:41 > 0:44:44- What if I die? What if I actually die?- You won't.
0:44:46 > 0:44:49- What if I have a heart attack? - Maybe they let you hold a kitten when you get down.
0:44:49 > 0:44:51I'm shitting myself.
0:45:00 > 0:45:04The skydive might be going ahead, but John's far from being in the clear.
0:45:05 > 0:45:07I'll wait to see if I survive,
0:45:07 > 0:45:10and then when I see him, I'm just going to punch him.
0:45:29 > 0:45:31I can hear it, Cameron, I can hear it.
0:45:31 > 0:45:34Burnsey! Hurry up!
0:45:59 > 0:46:04- Can you imagine what's going through her mind now? Her heart will be going crazy!- Oh, my God.
0:46:19 > 0:46:22Over there, look!
0:46:22 > 0:46:25# I'm free...
0:46:25 > 0:46:28# Freefalling... #
0:46:34 > 0:46:36CHEERING
0:46:36 > 0:46:40MUSIC: Wedding March by Felix Mendelssohn
0:46:45 > 0:46:49And so the bride makes her entrance flat out in the mud
0:46:49 > 0:46:51straddled by a man she met ten minutes ago.
0:46:51 > 0:46:54It's just how she dreamed it(!)
0:46:59 > 0:47:02That is..
0:47:03 > 0:47:06That is a feeling that you can't even put into words.
0:47:08 > 0:47:12It's... I don't... It is absolutely amazing!
0:47:15 > 0:47:16Amazing.
0:47:18 > 0:47:20You nailed that, nailed that! Nailed that.
0:47:20 > 0:47:23I'm still going to punch him.
0:47:23 > 0:47:27I'm still going to punch him for making me do this on my wedding day.
0:47:29 > 0:47:33I'm glad they've landed now, safe and sound, that's the main thing.
0:47:33 > 0:47:35Well done!
0:47:35 > 0:47:37She was really brave.
0:47:37 > 0:47:41You wouldn't get me to do that, but it was amazing. Absolutely amazing.
0:47:41 > 0:47:46I don't know how long Jackie spent on her hair to be thrown out of an aeroplane at umpteen thousand feet,
0:47:46 > 0:47:49but John's plans are looking good. Bit far away, but it's looking good so far.
0:47:51 > 0:47:55- While Jackie's back in hair and make-up... - I can't believe that happened.
0:47:55 > 0:47:58..the guests head to the castle just up the road.
0:47:58 > 0:47:59And an hour later,
0:47:59 > 0:48:04- she's finally ready to make a more traditional entrance. - For the second time!
0:48:04 > 0:48:07BOTH: Strathallan Castle.
0:48:09 > 0:48:10Oh, my God.
0:48:12 > 0:48:14I might not punch him quite as hard!
0:48:14 > 0:48:17I'm still going to smack him with my bouquet.
0:48:23 > 0:48:25It's gorgeous.
0:48:25 > 0:48:29It's certainly not like something you would find in Kirkintilloch
0:48:29 > 0:48:32so this is pretty amazing.
0:48:32 > 0:48:33Are you happy?
0:48:35 > 0:48:40BAGPIPES PLAY
0:48:50 > 0:48:52Watch the good flowers!
0:49:04 > 0:49:08John, today you have come to promise to share your life with Jackie.
0:49:08 > 0:49:10Do you promise to love and protect her,
0:49:10 > 0:49:14to comfort and support her for better or worse,
0:49:14 > 0:49:17- in times of sickness and in health? - I do.
0:49:19 > 0:49:23Jackie, today you have come to promise to share your life with John.
0:49:23 > 0:49:26Do you promise to love and protect him,
0:49:26 > 0:49:29to comfort and support him, for better or worse,
0:49:29 > 0:49:31from this day forward?
0:49:32 > 0:49:35I do. LAUGHTER
0:49:39 > 0:49:43I'm delighted to declare that Jackie and John,
0:49:43 > 0:49:47- you are now husband and wife. - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:49:56 > 0:50:00Why on earth would you ever want someone to do a skydive
0:50:00 > 0:50:02ON their wedding day?!
0:50:02 > 0:50:05Have you not always wanted to do a skydive? True or untrue?
0:50:05 > 0:50:09True! Not on my wedding day! NOT on my wedding day!
0:50:09 > 0:50:12Was it amazing?
0:50:12 > 0:50:15- It was amazing.- Right, OK. - And I want to do it again!
0:50:16 > 0:50:19I'm so happy to have you as my wife, Jackie Clark.
0:50:22 > 0:50:24I'm so happy to be your wife.
0:50:24 > 0:50:26It sounds dead funny!
0:50:26 > 0:50:28CHEERING
0:50:28 > 0:50:30Stunning setting,
0:50:30 > 0:50:34the room was just absolutely ahh! It was like Buckingham Palace, it was absolutely gorgeous.
0:50:34 > 0:50:37It might have been hectic so far,
0:50:37 > 0:50:39but John hasn't planned any time to relax
0:50:39 > 0:50:43so everyone's back on the bus for another hour.
0:50:43 > 0:50:46I can't believe that we've got to go on another journey.
0:50:46 > 0:50:47It's just been crazy.
0:50:47 > 0:50:51And this time, most people have a suspicion of where they're going to end up.
0:50:51 > 0:50:54THEY CHANT We're going to the Miners'!
0:50:54 > 0:50:57Oh, we're going to the Miners'!
0:50:57 > 0:50:59And arriving in Kirky,
0:50:59 > 0:51:02the bride is starting to fear the worst, too.
0:51:02 > 0:51:04You absolute arsehole.
0:51:05 > 0:51:08MUSIC: Funeral March by Frederic Chopin
0:51:13 > 0:51:15How do I get the feeling you're not happy?
0:51:25 > 0:51:28Would you honestly do this to me?
0:51:28 > 0:51:30Do you honestly have this in the Miners?'
0:51:30 > 0:51:34After all of that, after getting flung out of a fucking plane
0:51:34 > 0:51:37and that beautiful ceremony, you come to the Miners'?
0:51:39 > 0:51:42Honestly?! Is this a joke?
0:51:53 > 0:51:57- What if I say I'm not getting out? - You can trust me.- I can't.- Trust me.
0:51:57 > 0:51:59Do you trust me?
0:52:00 > 0:52:05- Jackie, trust me.- I need that back. You're not going to go away, are you?
0:52:05 > 0:52:07Promise, right?
0:52:15 > 0:52:18- I'm hoping I'm going in here for a drink and then we're leaving! - Trust me!
0:52:18 > 0:52:21Come on! You've trusted me so far.
0:52:21 > 0:52:24I love you. Come on. Trust me. Trust me.
0:52:24 > 0:52:26I'm having my reception in the Miners'.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30Am I having a reception in the Miners'?
0:52:30 > 0:52:31- Yeah.- Right, OK. That's fine.
0:52:31 > 0:52:35Right? Walk in, close your eyes, go on.
0:52:35 > 0:52:37Trust me, trust me, trust me.
0:52:37 > 0:52:40Trust me. Trust me.
0:52:40 > 0:52:42Watch my dress on the door.
0:52:42 > 0:52:45- You ready? Ready for this? - Yeah.- Right. Go on.
0:52:47 > 0:52:48Oh, my...!
0:52:48 > 0:52:51Christmas! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!!
0:52:52 > 0:52:54- Is that my Christmas tree?! - Of course it is!
0:52:54 > 0:52:56I put it up.
0:52:56 > 0:52:59Oh...my...God.
0:52:59 > 0:53:01- Like it?- Oh, my God, John!
0:53:03 > 0:53:04It's amazing!
0:53:07 > 0:53:09That is my bobbles on that tree!
0:53:09 > 0:53:13SHE GASPS He's got a Christmas turkey!
0:53:15 > 0:53:16You are mental.
0:53:16 > 0:53:20- You love Christmas! - I know I love Christmas, I do.
0:53:20 > 0:53:25You love Christmas, I love the Miners'! You love trendy stuff.
0:53:25 > 0:53:28- And you don't.- Yeah! Hence the cake.
0:53:31 > 0:53:33Oh, John!
0:53:34 > 0:53:36Oh, my God!
0:53:38 > 0:53:41I can't believe it's a nose cake!
0:53:43 > 0:53:45At least I'll be able to shave a bit off it.
0:53:45 > 0:53:48That's what I was thinking - save us three and a half grand!
0:53:50 > 0:53:52I can't believe this is the Miners'!
0:53:52 > 0:53:56This could be anywhere in the world, but this is where we met. That's why it's special to ME.
0:53:56 > 0:54:01Yeah, and you love the Miners', any excuse!
0:54:01 > 0:54:05- To John and Jackie. - Well done.- Thank you.
0:54:07 > 0:54:09Man alive!
0:54:10 > 0:54:12This is the Miners'?!
0:54:12 > 0:54:15- This is unbelievable. - It's Christmas.
0:54:15 > 0:54:19I've never seen the Miners' look so good. Absolutely brilliant.
0:54:19 > 0:54:22CHEERING
0:54:34 > 0:54:36On behalf of my wife and I...
0:54:36 > 0:54:39CHEERING
0:54:40 > 0:54:42..Merry Christmas!
0:54:42 > 0:54:46Credit where credit is due, you have completely nailed it today,
0:54:46 > 0:54:50like, everyone is so happy with you.
0:54:50 > 0:54:53- The bride and groom. - The bride and groom!
0:54:53 > 0:54:56Normally what we say is that everything John does turns to gold!
0:54:56 > 0:55:01It's been an amazing, amazing, amazing day from basically start...
0:55:02 > 0:55:08- ..to finish.- On behalf of everybody in here, Jackie, we can all say you've got some pair of balls today!
0:55:09 > 0:55:12Perfect. Couldn't have went any better.
0:55:12 > 0:55:15Like, I slag the Miners' off
0:55:15 > 0:55:17a lot.
0:55:18 > 0:55:21- But I still come down here on a Sunday for the karaoke.- You do.
0:55:22 > 0:55:29- And the good news is, we now have Mr and Mrs Clark membership.- Do we?!
0:55:29 > 0:55:31I don't think I'll be using that.
0:55:34 > 0:55:37I think I can say, hand on my heart...
0:55:38 > 0:55:41..I'm never getting John out of Kirky.
0:55:41 > 0:55:44Got another treat in store for you.
0:55:45 > 0:55:49- In the toilets? - Yeah. I like my little touches.
0:55:57 > 0:56:00Aw-w-w-w-w! Oh, my God!
0:56:01 > 0:56:05- My lady doing the toilet! - I want one of them for the house.
0:56:07 > 0:56:10Am I going to get home and there'll be real kittens in the house?
0:56:10 > 0:56:15No. There'll be four bags of washing, four very large bags!
0:56:17 > 0:56:20Next time, the pressure's on for Gloucester rugby lad Josh.
0:56:20 > 0:56:23I hate shopping, I HATE shopping.
0:56:23 > 0:56:27He's desperate to impress his demanding bride-to-be, Stacey.
0:56:27 > 0:56:31Can you make me some breakfast, please? It's what I want, it's my wedding!
0:56:31 > 0:56:34I don't know! Oh, my God, if I get it wrong...
0:56:34 > 0:56:37But will Josh's good intentions be undone by bad decisions?
0:56:37 > 0:56:42- There will be no wedding if no guests are allowed.- There will be.
0:56:42 > 0:56:45Will this devoted prince give his princess the most romantic day of her life?
0:56:45 > 0:56:47Is it really here?
0:56:47 > 0:56:51MUSIC: 'The Joker' by The Steve Miller Band
0:57:07 > 0:57:09Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd