0:00:02 > 0:00:06- Don't Tell The Bride celebrates weddings like no-one else. - Congratulations on your big day.
0:00:06 > 0:00:11- From New York...- Oh! - ..to Glasgow.- Oh, my God!
0:00:11 > 0:00:16- Las Vegas...- Why would the man I love do this?- ..to Ibiza.
0:00:16 > 0:00:21- HE SOBS - And one unforgettable rollercoaster ride.
0:00:21 > 0:00:26- Why the hell are we at Thorpe Park on my wedding day? - And now we're back,
0:00:26 > 0:00:31- as 12 more unsuspecting brides prepare for the journey of a lifetime.- What?!
0:00:31 > 0:00:36- The grooms get three weeks and £12,000.- Wedding!
0:00:36 > 0:00:40And the brides get no say in how it's spent.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44- I would never even imagine Ben could get it this wrong. - So get ready to rock...
0:00:44 > 0:00:48- I don't even want you in the wedding. - ..as the party reaches new heights
0:00:48 > 0:00:50and sinks to new lows,
0:00:50 > 0:00:55with more fairytale endings than ever before.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58This is supposed to be the biggest day of my life and I'm not happy.
0:00:58 > 0:00:59I'll switch it off.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02Tonight, wedding obsessed Jill...
0:01:02 > 0:01:05That's exactly something I would like.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08- ..leaves the biggest day of her life...- It's all about me.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12Well, it is all about me. When it comes to it, he's got to make the process nice for me.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15- ..in the hands of her laid-back groom, Mark.- Let's get drunk.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19While she dreams of a lavish 70 grand ceremony...
0:01:19 > 0:01:22- Mark ain't going to care about couture.- He'd bloody better.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25..he's out to give her the most creative wedding of all time.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29Who can say they got on the main stage in a major festival on their wedding day?
0:01:29 > 0:01:33- Why are we at a festival? - But will this bride refuse to walk down the muddy aisle...
0:01:33 > 0:01:35I'm not going in there. I'm so insulted.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38..leaving Mark's plans crashing down around him?
0:01:38 > 0:01:44- What we're planning is to stick her on the bungee jump ride.- Oh, my!
0:01:44 > 0:01:48With his dream vision quickly becoming a nightmare...
0:01:48 > 0:01:51I'm so disappointed. This is not what I wanted.
0:01:51 > 0:01:56..can this groom coax his fussy bride to say I do?
0:01:56 > 0:01:59- See the work I've put in over the last few weeks for this.- I can.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Or will the wedding be over before it's even begun?
0:02:02 > 0:02:07I just don't understand why anybody would put someone through this on their wedding day.
0:02:09 > 0:02:14This programme contains strong language
0:02:21 > 0:02:28Music lovers Mark and Jill met five years ago on the trendy club scene in Glasgow.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32Working as a bar manager, Mark employed Jill as his VIP girl.
0:02:32 > 0:02:37The first attraction to Jill was obviously her looks. She just struck me
0:02:37 > 0:02:39as a fun outgoing blonde.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43- Gorgeous. - Gorgeous blonde as well, sorry, yes. She was, gorgeous blonde.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49And it wasn't long before ambitious Jill bagged herself
0:02:49 > 0:02:54another very important job, working for one of Scotland's premier wedding magazines.
0:02:54 > 0:02:59- Don't forget we're doing the pre-wedding.- Oh yeah, the pre-wedding shoot as well.
0:02:59 > 0:03:00As an advertising executive,
0:03:00 > 0:03:05Jill comes face-to-face with her dream wedding every day.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08I see the nicest stuff, I see the best of the best.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12You name it, we've got it all in our magazine and we work with the best.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Mark, you need to get up.
0:03:16 > 0:03:17- Honestly, hurry up.- Two minutes.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21But this perfectionist bride doesn't just demand the best at work.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23- Mark, get up.- Right.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27At home, things are also run her way.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29I am without a doubt the boss in this relationship.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31She likes to think she is.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35- I will fight him to the death and he just does it anyway.- To the death.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Can you turn that the other way? It goes the other way.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40He knows that he wants an easy life so he just does as he is told.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43- That goes at the back?- Yeah.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46But Mark has found a strategy for dealing with his bossy bride-to-be.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Do you think that goes with that?
0:03:49 > 0:03:50Mark?
0:03:50 > 0:03:52- Mark.- Yeah.
0:03:52 > 0:03:57I would describe Mark as being very laid-back, bit too laid-back sometimes.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00- Do you like it?- It's nice. Lovely.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03- You could pay a bit more attention. - It's nice.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06A lot of things, I couldn't care less if it's done one way or the other.
0:04:06 > 0:04:11You've been playing this now for nearly two hours. Can you hurry up and please get off it?
0:04:11 > 0:04:13What?
0:04:13 > 0:04:16Mark's always like, "Don't worry about it."
0:04:16 > 0:04:19But that doesn't help me because it drives me bonkers.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23He would sometimes settle for average, whereas I won't.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27And everyone that knows me knows that I'm not a settler really
0:04:27 > 0:04:29and if I want something, I'm going to get it.
0:04:33 > 0:04:39This glamorous girl is totally used to getting what she wants.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42- She's fairly high maintenance. - Are you saying I'm hard work?
0:04:42 > 0:04:46In terms of... Yeah, absolutely. You can be.
0:04:46 > 0:04:51And if high maintenance Jill isn't indulged, there can be serious consequences.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55I'm very fiery and I snap and I'm very shouty. I take that off my dad.
0:04:55 > 0:05:00His bark is worse than his bite, but my bark is really bad!
0:05:00 > 0:05:05Wedding expert Jill has extremely high standards for her big day.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08- Good to see you.- Nice to see you. How are you doing?- I'm good, thank you.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Do you want to show me what you've got for the autumn issue?
0:05:12 > 0:05:17Walking wedding encyclopaedia Jill knows exactly what she wants.
0:05:17 > 0:05:23If I actually got my dream wedding, you're looking about probably £70,000.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Alone, my dress that I want is about £4,000.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30Wow! That's exactly something I would like.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32It would have to be very glamorous,
0:05:32 > 0:05:36just something like a fairytale wedding, but with a little bit of sparkle, glamour.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40- And it doesn't end there. - I know the exact dress I would want.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43The exact cake. I just want the works.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46She always comes home with these ideas of grandeur.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49She wants the best of everything. The pressure's on in that respect.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Without 70 grand in his wallet,
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Mark knows he's got to think big and be creative.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58In my head, it can't be a normal wedding.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01It has to show what Jill and I are all about and where we came from as a couple.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03We came through the clubbing scene.
0:06:03 > 0:06:09I want everyone there to think they're on the best night out they've been on in their life.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Will Mark pull this wedding off?
0:06:11 > 0:06:15If he doesn't, he'll never hear the end of it.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18I'll chop him in two! Honest to God!
0:06:19 > 0:06:23It's time for the couple to say goodbye.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25I'm feeling a bit nervous now.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28It's just beginning to feel a bit real.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31Within the next 15 minutes, that will be us gone, and separated.
0:06:31 > 0:06:36I just feel like a bit nervous. We'll see how it goes.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39- You'll be fine. - It's you I'm worried about!
0:06:39 > 0:06:41You're folding that wrong.
0:06:45 > 0:06:51Perfectionist Jill is handing over every detail of her big day to her laid-back groom.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59The next time they see each other will be on their wedding day.
0:06:59 > 0:07:04- Please don't mess it up.- I won't mess it up. I promise you.- OK.
0:07:04 > 0:07:09- Have I ever let you down before? - No.- No, never.- Just sometimes not got me what I wanted!
0:07:11 > 0:07:15Jill's brother Jamie has been summoned to chauffeur her back to her mum's house,
0:07:15 > 0:07:19where she'll be staying for the next three weeks.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Bye.
0:07:21 > 0:07:26I feel a bit sick now. I hope he knows what he's doing and what he's let himself in for.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28What a shot!
0:07:28 > 0:07:33What he's let himself in for is three weeks of freedom,
0:07:33 > 0:07:37- with best men Chris and Burnsy. - I think he's doing a poo.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40This brave pair have agreed to help Mark organise a wedding
0:07:40 > 0:07:43for Scotland's most high maintenance bride.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46- This for the win.- I'm desperate for you to miss this.- If this goes in,
0:07:46 > 0:07:50it's going to be a successful marriage. Yes!
0:07:52 > 0:07:58At her mother's house, Jill's mum Elaine is as nervous as the bride-to-be.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02He's got quite quirky taste. The last time he was here,
0:08:02 > 0:08:04he had like green shoes and blue socks.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08I was like, "My God!" What is he going to pick?
0:08:08 > 0:08:11If it is a meringue, I'll refuse point-blank to try it on.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14- What are you going to wear?- I'm not going to go.- What do you mean?
0:08:14 > 0:08:17- You've got to go.- I don't have to go. If he's got me... - You're not going to get married?
0:08:17 > 0:08:20No, because if he can't even get the dress right,
0:08:20 > 0:08:25that means he doesn't know anything about me or my personality. Can you imagine what else he's got wrong?
0:08:25 > 0:08:28I think it's exciting because we just don't know anything.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31I just know what you're like. You can throw a strop.
0:08:31 > 0:08:36You might go mad. You might not like your dress, or where you're going.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40Then you might just go off on one. It will be a nightmare.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44At the golf club, the boys are talking weddings.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Shame they didn't bring any copies of Jill's magazine with them for help.
0:08:47 > 0:08:52Can I make an observation? Why don't you try and see the whole thing through Jill's eyes?
0:08:52 > 0:08:54- Jill wants something big. - Let's have something big.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57I know that, but she wants something big and expensive.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59She's got an awful lot of preconceived ideas
0:08:59 > 0:09:01of what the perfect wedding is,
0:09:01 > 0:09:05most of which would terrify the Bank of England.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09For Mark to take that all on with a limited budget
0:09:09 > 0:09:14and trying to get her dream wedding is a job. It's a real task.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16You've mentioned she wants an expensive wedding.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18We don't have a big bag of money.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22We've got £12,000 and we need to spend it properly. Six grand of that's going on the stag do.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Where are we going on the stag do? Goa?!
0:09:25 > 0:09:30If Mark gets it wrong, I think Jill will go off like a rocket.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34It'll be good to watch, but from behind something.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37Let's not get too deep tonight. Let's go and have a few more pints.
0:09:37 > 0:09:42- Decision's made.- Let's just drink tonight then, guys. Fancy it?
0:09:42 > 0:09:47So planning the wedding for his bossy bride goes on hold.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Let's get drunk.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52All Mark knows is that he's got to think big.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57The following day and Jill is back at work.
0:09:57 > 0:10:02Having spent years looking at other people's weddings, she is finally going to be the bride herself.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06But with her thoughts stuck on her own wedding,
0:10:06 > 0:10:07it's a bit hard to concentrate.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10The theme we're going for this issue is all exclusive.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Is that a pink castle?
0:10:12 > 0:10:15You hire out the venue to make it entirely yours. A big house party.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17- That would be up your street? - Absolutely.
0:10:17 > 0:10:21If it was outside, I would be absolutely devastated.
0:10:21 > 0:10:25Everyone thinks that's funny, why would you want to put wellies on your wedding day?
0:10:25 > 0:10:30- You've just have a spray tan done. - You're walking across a field to get to the venue.
0:10:30 > 0:10:35No, he'd be walking across the venue to let everybody know that I'm not walking across to get married.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38I'm off, no way! I'd hate to be outside.
0:10:38 > 0:10:44But that's exactly where Mark is, two hours from Glasgow city centre,
0:10:44 > 0:10:48in the rolling hills of the southern Scottish Borders.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51He is on the hunt for a wedding fit for his fusspot bride.
0:10:51 > 0:10:58And he's thinking big, he's thinking bold.. Unbelievably, he's thinking music festival.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02The Wicker Man is one of Scotland's biggest festivals,
0:11:02 > 0:11:09where each year 20,000 revellers descend upon the countryside for big-name acts and a funfair.
0:11:11 > 0:11:15And Mark's falling over himself with excitement.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Whoa!
0:11:18 > 0:11:20I'm Mark.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23They've come to the site to meet the festival's organiser, Helen,
0:11:23 > 0:11:26to see if they can have the wedding right by all the action.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28What is it you're hoping for?
0:11:28 > 0:11:31I want something that's got a whole festival feel to it.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35I was thinking of having a kind of small stage, getting a band
0:11:35 > 0:11:37and a couple of DJs and that sort of thing.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40- Let's go and have a look around the site.- Excellent.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42They are only 100 miles away from Glasgow,
0:11:42 > 0:11:45but they are a million miles away from Jill's dream venue.
0:11:46 > 0:11:51Glenskirlie is a high-end one-stop shop for the wedding needs of Glasgow's classiest brides.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Isn't it nice?
0:11:53 > 0:11:56It's one of Scotland's most expensive venues.
0:11:56 > 0:12:02Having seen regularly in her magazine, wedding expert Jill is certain it's the place for her.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05- It's fabulous.- Isn't it? It's so nice.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08She's brought bridesmaids Bobbi and Laura to have a look.
0:12:08 > 0:12:14It's nice, isn't it? It's classy, it's elegant. It's not too much, it's exactly what I would want.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18So Jill is desperate for a stylish, but understated day.
0:12:18 > 0:12:22- Surely he'll see this is what everybody would want. - He'll go for something like this.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26He's got to. He knows you. If he picks something else,
0:12:26 > 0:12:28- he doesn't know you at all. - If he knows what's good for him!
0:12:34 > 0:12:37- Whoa!- Are you wearing ice skates?
0:12:37 > 0:12:39But Mark's not going for stylish or understated.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42He's right in the middle of the festival site,
0:12:42 > 0:12:44two minutes from the main stage area,
0:12:44 > 0:12:48trying to fathom out which part of this muddy field screams wedding.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52To get married in front of that thing would be magnificent.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54- Yeah, it would be. - Jill's going to love this.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Aye, confident.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00- How's he going to top this?- I don't think he can, Jill.- Don't say that!
0:13:02 > 0:13:05I'll probably get a rented caravan in a field
0:13:05 > 0:13:07to go along with the tent.
0:13:07 > 0:13:13- Surely, he will.- Fingers crossed.- You'll be glamping for your wedding.- Glamping.- A teepee thing.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Back at the festival site,
0:13:16 > 0:13:20the boys are keen to seal the deal on their brave outdoor wedding.
0:13:20 > 0:13:25- Jill is expecting something spectacular.- I'm sure she is.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- So I'd love to have it here.- OK. - Excellent. Thanks for your time.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Mark's spent his first grand on a muddy field
0:13:31 > 0:13:35that in two weeks' time will be bang in the middle of a very loud festival.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39- I've a good buzz about it. - I've got tingling testicles over it.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50It's the end of week one and groom Mark knows he needs to pull out
0:13:50 > 0:13:53all the stops if he's going to please his fussy bride.
0:13:53 > 0:13:58He's meeting Chris to discuss how to give Jill the most dramatic entrance ever.
0:13:58 > 0:14:03How cool would it be if Helen could sort out that she gets on the main stage with her bridesmaids,
0:14:03 > 0:14:05straight from getting dropped off?
0:14:05 > 0:14:09I think that's a great idea, if we could make that work. It's huge.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13It'd be fun if we put her on the rides. The thing you sit in that shoots up in the air,
0:14:13 > 0:14:19- the catapult thing. - And she's in her frock.- In her frock. - Yes, I think you have to do.
0:14:19 > 0:14:24- These wee touches are going to set it aside from anything else. - I know, mate.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26So, to please his bolshie bride,
0:14:26 > 0:14:31he's going to fling her 50 metres into the air on a fairground ride.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34That should make her happy(!)
0:14:34 > 0:14:37But Mark's not lacking sensitivity.
0:14:37 > 0:14:42He's hitting the shops for a very important item to cover Jill's modesty. Knickers.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46We need pants because we're sending her up in a bungee ball before the wedding.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49- I don't want her flashing to the world.- All right, OK. Big pants.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52No, I don't think we should get big pants. She wears small pants.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56You've never seen my bird's pants. She wears small pants.
0:14:57 > 0:15:01- Yeah.- But you need... That's a Pete Tong.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04- Surely you need one more comfortable than that.- That's what she wears.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08- She doesn't go on bungees much. - I know, but she wears thongs.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11I don't think your underwear is going to make a big difference.
0:15:11 > 0:15:16- It's for anti-flash factor, if she flashes...that's useless. - I'm going with that.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18All right. OK.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26Perhaps Jill's bridesmaids will be able to give her more support.
0:15:29 > 0:15:34See? Because I can't speak to him, I can't talk to him or anything, it's just odd.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- Mark will be fine. - Yeah, he'll be fine.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41- He'll pull a few stunts just for a laugh.- But I don't take...
0:15:41 > 0:15:44- That's not funny. - I think it is quite funny!
0:15:44 > 0:15:48- It's my wedding day.- It's all about me!- No, but it is all about me.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52When it comes to me, he's got to make the process nice for me.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Mark is a brave man. Did you ever see The Exorcist?
0:15:54 > 0:15:59That's based on you, that film! Jill on the wine.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05I don't want to be there. Seriously. If Mark gets it wrong.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09- Do you think I'll be that bad?- Yes, definitely. You will be terrible.
0:16:09 > 0:16:14It's cool, we've got the straitjacket ready, we've got the psychiatrist on speed dial, so...
0:16:14 > 0:16:19- Tranquilliser gun.- Shoot me down like a wild beast.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23Get her in the cage!
0:16:23 > 0:16:26It's the beginning of week two and Mark and Burnsy are facing
0:16:26 > 0:16:30the impossible task of choosing a wedding dress
0:16:30 > 0:16:34for the girl who's seen every designer gown in Scotland.
0:16:36 > 0:16:41And Mark's problem is now also shop-owner Victoria's problem.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Am I allowed to know what she's like?
0:16:44 > 0:16:48- She works for The Best Scottish Weddings magazine.- OK, no pressure.
0:16:48 > 0:16:53- So she knows exactly what she wants. - Right. My neck on the line here.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56I think I know what she likes. I'm pretty certain.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00How different can a wedding dress be to clothes I've bought in the past?
0:17:00 > 0:17:05- Not that different if you stick to the dress in the window technique. - It's an absolute belter.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09We're thinking about just picking the first one.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12Stick the tail on the donkey.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15It's not a technique recommended in Jill's wedding magazine,
0:17:15 > 0:17:19but it is one way of choosing a dress for Glasgow's pickiest bride.
0:17:19 > 0:17:24- That's the one. - Think so.- That's definitely it.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26What do you think?
0:17:28 > 0:17:32- Is it too plain?- Too plain? You can't get too plain.- Course you can.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35- There's nothing plain about this. - Jill will love that, Mark.- Think so?
0:17:35 > 0:17:39- Aye. Definitely. - Do you think we've got a winner?
0:17:39 > 0:17:43- I think we've got a winner. - They make it look so easy.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Across town, Jill's brought her friends
0:17:45 > 0:17:50to her favourite designer boutique, dripping in expensive couture gowns.
0:17:50 > 0:17:54And Jill knows exactly what she wants.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56- That's so nice.- So nice.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59I'm a bit nervous about trying my favourite dress on because
0:17:59 > 0:18:03I've seen it so many times in pictures but I've never actually tried it on.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06And because it is so unique and different,
0:18:06 > 0:18:11I just don't know how he's going to actually manage to top it.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15Jill has been going on and on about this dress for years.
0:18:15 > 0:18:20And having a job like this as well with the wedding magazine, that's not helped matters
0:18:20 > 0:18:25because it's made her adamant this is the dress and that is it.
0:18:26 > 0:18:32- Wow!- My God! You look amazing. - You actually look like an angel.
0:18:32 > 0:18:38I feel like phoning Mark and going, "No. Stop. She needs that dress."
0:18:38 > 0:18:45You actually do. So how much is the dress, the veil, the shoes and everything?
0:18:45 > 0:18:46£3,815.
0:18:46 > 0:18:50For a full couture garment. But it's couture.
0:18:50 > 0:18:56- But Mark won't care about couture. - He'd better! He'd bloody better!
0:18:56 > 0:19:01Honestly, if he couldn't get the dress right and that's the first thing I'm good to see on the day,
0:19:01 > 0:19:04- what else has he not got right? - Yeah.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Well, he's booked you a festival wedding for starters.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13Even now, he's just thinking practicality over style.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17When we get to the Wicker Man,
0:19:17 > 0:19:20we've come up with a plan to stick her on the bungee jump ride.
0:19:20 > 0:19:25- Oh my! Right, OK. - The dress will need to tuck up.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27We could manage that, no problem.
0:19:27 > 0:19:32For any walking, absolutely, tie the back up, very easy to manoeuvre.
0:19:32 > 0:19:36- Yeah?- So it's your call.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39- Time to talk numbers, I think.- Yes.
0:19:39 > 0:19:45- What is the price of the dress, Victoria?- It's £1,769.- Right.
0:19:45 > 0:19:50I think we're looking at £1,000 for a dress.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54If you could do it at £1,000, we'd buy it just now.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57I think your wife to be will look absolutely stunning in the dress.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01So... £1,000, deal.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04So on the big day, the girl who dreams of feathery couture
0:20:04 > 0:20:08will be saying I do in a plain, off-the-peg number
0:20:08 > 0:20:12they've bartered down to the same price as a muddy field.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16- I think it's absolutely stunning. We've done a good job, big man. - So do I, so do I.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19She'll definitely like that dress. You could not like it.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21To that end, we've done our job well, I think.
0:20:21 > 0:20:26With the venue and dress sorted, Mark's brought usher Ryan to help
0:20:26 > 0:20:31sort out the next most important part of any festival wedding. The loos.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35- Hi, Mickey. How you doing. - Good, thanks.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39If it was just a bunch of guys, then you could pee against the wall, crouch in a corner.
0:20:39 > 0:20:44But you've got a lot of girls who like to do their make-up, so there has to be nice toilets.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46These aren't too bad.
0:20:46 > 0:20:50Fine for the likes of us, I'm just thinking of Jill.
0:20:50 > 0:20:56- She might have to take her dress off to get in.- I know, yeah. It's fine.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00Bogs booked, it's time to purchase another festival essential
0:21:00 > 0:21:03for Jill and her bridesmaids.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05- Absolutely disgusting.- It's fine.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09Absolutely disgusting, but to be frank, they all are.
0:21:09 > 0:21:13I think we need to think about what colour their dresses are first.
0:21:13 > 0:21:17- We don't know the colour of the dresses.- We're picking the wellies before the dresses?- Yes.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20- Size five, sir?- Excellent.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22It's going to be ridiculous enough
0:21:22 > 0:21:25they're wearing plastic shoes to a wedding.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28It's not that ridiculous.
0:21:28 > 0:21:33This cobalt blue Wellington boot should not take part
0:21:33 > 0:21:39in your wedding in any way, shape or form, I promise you.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42- Well, I would like pink.- Well, good.
0:21:42 > 0:21:46They leave £100 lighter with six pairs of wellies.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49With his outdoor wedding taking place in the middle
0:21:49 > 0:21:53of Britain's wettest summer, Mark thinks it's money well spent.
0:21:53 > 0:21:58So by the end of week two, the bulk of the 12 grand's been spent.
0:21:59 > 0:22:03- We need to cut some corners. - Absolutely, for sure.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07But will Jill be happy with the result?
0:22:07 > 0:22:09It could go either way.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18# It's ladies night. #
0:22:18 > 0:22:21It's Saturday night and time for Jill's hen do.
0:22:21 > 0:22:26And it's not just her wedding day she's got big ideas for.
0:22:27 > 0:22:32- I wonder where you're going. - Even if it's rubbish, what he's picked, I'll be really angry,
0:22:32 > 0:22:36but I would be angry because I'll be in good company, so I don't mind.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38But that doesn't give him the excuse.
0:22:38 > 0:22:43I hope he has made an effort to send us to something half decent.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47If something rubbish comes to pick us up, I'll be even more angry.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50- What if it's like an ordinary car? - A taxi?!
0:22:50 > 0:22:54- Surely he wouldn't just send a taxi. - No, of course he wouldn't.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58It's a taxi.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04An actually crap taxi.
0:23:04 > 0:23:08- Jill, have a great time.- No, I'm not actually having a laugh. That is it.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11- I bet you're going to the pictures. - No, I'm not getting in that taxi.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13I'm going to stay here and have a couple of drinks.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17I can phone my own fucking taxi. Honestly.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19- Jill, move it. - We can actually phone our own taxi.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21It's booked. Don't leave the guy waiting.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Come on, stop being an idiot.
0:23:23 > 0:23:24It'll be fine. It's just to get you there.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Nobody's going to see it, come on.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28I'm not getting in that.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31I'm not. I'm not.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34- Jill, it's the beginning of the night.- It's a taxi.
0:23:34 > 0:23:42- It doesn't matter.- Listen to your gran.- It's for going A to B, A to B.
0:23:42 > 0:23:43We get a taxi into town every Saturday.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45This is not every Saturday!
0:23:48 > 0:23:49Not that I don't like you,
0:23:49 > 0:23:51I don't even know you, but I wish you weren't here.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55It has taken seven women to persuade this princess
0:23:55 > 0:23:57to get into her carriage...taxi.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00It's my hen do, so I just expected something a bit different.
0:24:00 > 0:24:04Tomorrow you won't even remember being in a taxi.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Not a great start to the night, though.
0:24:07 > 0:24:08At the end of the day,
0:24:08 > 0:24:12I can get a taxi into town Friday, Saturday night.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14And this is what he sends. Cos I bet you any money,
0:24:14 > 0:24:17he's spent more on the stag than he has on the hen.
0:24:17 > 0:24:18Any money.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Wrong.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25In fact, he's celebrating with the boys, just down the road.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33'Absolutely zero planning going on just now.
0:24:33 > 0:24:34'Tonight we are going to party, get drunk
0:24:34 > 0:24:37'and fall about and act like dicks.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40'I did do quite a lot for her, for her hen do.'
0:24:40 > 0:24:43I pulled a few strings for her, so hopefully, she's having a good time,
0:24:43 > 0:24:45she's getting drunk and abusing a few folk.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48- Waaah!- Go on, you.
0:24:50 > 0:24:55The bridesmaids have done their usual job of placating Jill
0:24:55 > 0:24:57and she's agreed to carry on with her hen.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00'Jill can kick off a bit
0:25:00 > 0:25:02'if she doesn't like the way things are going.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04'The thing about her is, though,'
0:25:04 > 0:25:06she'll go way up there and come back down just as quick
0:25:06 > 0:25:08and she'll be fine cos you can talk sense into her.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11The single life, I loved you, I will miss you.
0:25:11 > 0:25:12CHEERING
0:25:12 > 0:25:13Goodbye!
0:25:13 > 0:25:15'I'm really worried, now, about
0:25:15 > 0:25:17'how she's going to take to trying on a dress'
0:25:17 > 0:25:22that he's picked for her and what the venue, where the venue is.
0:25:22 > 0:25:23If she doesn't like that.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26She was refusing to get in a taxi tonight, so, I don't know,
0:25:26 > 0:25:29we'll just need to wait and see and hopefully I can calm her down.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32It's time for Mark's next surprise.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36Luckily for him, Jill's finally in good spirits.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Yeah! The boogie bus!
0:25:39 > 0:25:43LOUD DANCE MUSIC
0:25:43 > 0:25:46First I was disappointed. I'm actually really happy now.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48'I've got all my girls.'
0:25:48 > 0:25:49# We are going to the bowling
0:25:49 > 0:25:51# We are going bowling
0:25:51 > 0:25:53# Na-na-na-na, hey! #
0:25:54 > 0:25:57No, you're not. You're driving an hour away
0:25:57 > 0:26:00just to go to another bar in Edinburgh...
0:26:07 > 0:26:10..the last place you wanted to spend your hen.
0:26:10 > 0:26:14Hey. Where are we going?
0:26:14 > 0:26:16Is this it? Is this it?
0:26:16 > 0:26:17This is it.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19'I don't want to be in Edinburgh.'
0:26:19 > 0:26:23I want to be in Glasgow with all my friends, but instead I've dragged them
0:26:23 > 0:26:28all the way out here, when I don't want to be here, I want to, like...
0:26:28 > 0:26:31I know what he's tried to do but I don't want to be here
0:26:31 > 0:26:34so I hope we can go back cos I'm not happy at all.
0:26:34 > 0:26:38As usual, the girls try to pander to Jill's mood
0:26:38 > 0:26:41but tonight there's no satisfying this demanding diva.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44'I would think, personally, being her best friend,'
0:26:44 > 0:26:45that this would all please her.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47But, if this doesn't please her, I don't know what will
0:26:47 > 0:26:50because it's lovely, it's amazing, it's really good.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53'Seeing her reaction tonight, I think it's going to be'
0:26:53 > 0:26:55very, very hard if she doesn't like the dress,
0:26:55 > 0:26:57she doesn't like the venue...
0:26:57 > 0:27:01I'm really, really concerned that she's not going to go ahead with it.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04I don't think she will.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14It's the morning after the night before.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Having found out Jill's hen was a disaster,
0:27:16 > 0:27:20Mark's worried how his bride's coping with no control.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23It's worrying me, worrying about Jill.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Worrying if she's stressed
0:27:25 > 0:27:28because the fear of the unknown is a horrible thing, you know,
0:27:28 > 0:27:33so, I, kind of, pray she just... she has a great day.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36You know, I know I'll have a great day, you know.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38I'm marrying the girl I love so I'm going to have
0:27:38 > 0:27:41a tremendous day, but I just hope she gets by the stress
0:27:41 > 0:27:45cos it can warp your head a little bit when you're stressed.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47You don't think straight.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49If she can see the funny side of it,
0:27:49 > 0:27:52she'll see the glamorous side of it and the spectacular side of it.
0:27:56 > 0:27:57It's the day before the wedding
0:27:57 > 0:28:03and picky bride Jill is about to see the dress Mark's chosen for her.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05She is expecting couture.
0:28:05 > 0:28:09So, what will she make of the dress Mark picked out of the window?
0:28:09 > 0:28:12- You look petrified, honestly, you do.- She is a bag of nerves.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15You look scared to death. It'll be fine. The boy's done good.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18We'll see about that.
0:28:18 > 0:28:19'Jill wasn't too keen on the hen party'
0:28:19 > 0:28:22so I'm a bit worried about the dress because that's obviously
0:28:22 > 0:28:24'a really major thing, so fingers crossed.'
0:28:24 > 0:28:25Girls, are you all right?
0:28:25 > 0:28:29I'm going to check next door and I'll be back in two wee seconds, OK?
0:28:31 > 0:28:34- Excited?- Nervous.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36- Nervous.- You can do this.- I know.
0:28:36 > 0:28:37'It's only a dress.'
0:28:37 > 0:28:40See at the end of the day, there's people dying in the world
0:28:40 > 0:28:42so, this is a dress, it's a wedding, it happens every day.
0:28:42 > 0:28:45- OK, Jill, do you want to come in? Are you ready?- Yes.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48'If it's not to plan, it's not the end of the world.'
0:28:48 > 0:28:51There's people dying and can't feed themselves so it is what it is.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54With a new-found sense of perspective,
0:28:54 > 0:28:56has this bride turned a corner?
0:28:58 > 0:29:00I don't like it.
0:29:00 > 0:29:01No.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05What don't you like about it?
0:29:05 > 0:29:06Everything.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09I don't like the colour, I don't like the style.
0:29:09 > 0:29:12Oh, God. I hate it.
0:29:12 > 0:29:14I hate it.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16It's everything that I didn't want.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18Everything I didn't want.
0:29:18 > 0:29:19In terms of...?
0:29:19 > 0:29:23I hate the colour, I hate the material.
0:29:23 > 0:29:25No, I don't like it at all.
0:29:29 > 0:29:30I don't like it.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32I think what we'll do, if you can try it on, we can see
0:29:32 > 0:29:34if there's anything we can do to tweak it.
0:29:34 > 0:29:36All right, we'll try it on.
0:29:36 > 0:29:37OK.
0:29:47 > 0:29:49What do you think?
0:29:49 > 0:29:52- I hate it. - You hate it?- I'm not wearing it.
0:29:52 > 0:29:56- Come on, be honest. - Take your arms away.
0:29:56 > 0:29:58You can even tell by Bobbi's face.
0:29:58 > 0:30:00If you're not happy, I'm not happy for you.
0:30:00 > 0:30:01I don't think you look horrible.
0:30:01 > 0:30:04- This skirt of it is beautiful. - I hate it.
0:30:04 > 0:30:06It's the neck, it's the line, it's the material,
0:30:06 > 0:30:08it's the diamante buttons down the back.
0:30:08 > 0:30:11I just hate it. It's not me, I don't like it.
0:30:11 > 0:30:14I just want to get it off. Let me get out of this dress, OK?
0:30:16 > 0:30:18Please, please, please get me out of this dress.
0:30:18 > 0:30:20You are pulling the buttons off the back of the dress.
0:30:20 > 0:30:21Try and calm down a wee second.
0:30:21 > 0:30:24No, I really, honestly, please, Victoria, I'm begging you,
0:30:24 > 0:30:26please, just take it off. Please, please.
0:30:26 > 0:30:28Please take it off.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35Listen, he's a wonderful guy. >
0:30:35 > 0:30:38- He's a wonderful guy and he's done this for you.- Not very well.- I know.
0:30:38 > 0:30:40But think how difficult it is for a guy to do this.
0:30:40 > 0:30:43I thought you looked beautiful in it and if there's anything we can do
0:30:43 > 0:30:46to try to tweak it for you. Because it's tomorrow, Jill.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48True to form, Jill snaps.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53And she's straight on the phone to her mum.
0:31:05 > 0:31:08'It's just so disappointing that she doesn't like it.
0:31:08 > 0:31:09'It's the most important dress ever.'
0:31:09 > 0:31:11I feel bad for Mark, as well,
0:31:11 > 0:31:13because he's obviously done his best
0:31:13 > 0:31:17and thought he's picked something she would like, but she hates it.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21Why would he pick that? It's so hideous.
0:31:21 > 0:31:23- He's got it wrong. - He didn't know, Jill.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26He's a guy, guys just don't have a clue.
0:31:26 > 0:31:30She might be back in the shop, but there's no way she's getting back in that dress.
0:31:30 > 0:31:33If he got that wrong then he probably got everything else wrong.
0:31:33 > 0:31:36I've got no hope in him now.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39I knew, I could tell by your faces. You looked so disappointed.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42I'm not going to put you in a dress you're not comfortable in,
0:31:42 > 0:31:43I would never ask you to do that.
0:31:43 > 0:31:47I will phone Mark, we'll get a solution to this, we will fix this.
0:31:47 > 0:31:49- We won't fix it.- We will. - We won't. It's the day before.
0:31:49 > 0:31:53Have faith in me. Have faith in me. I promise you, we will fix this.
0:31:53 > 0:31:57Desperate to pacify Jill, Laura calls Mark.
0:31:57 > 0:32:00Hello, right, she doesn't like the dress.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02Are you kidding on? Honestly?
0:32:02 > 0:32:07She doesn't like it, we need to change it. She can't get married in it. It has to be something else.
0:32:07 > 0:32:09Fucking hell. It looked great as well.
0:32:09 > 0:32:12If we speak to Victoria, can we try and change it for a dress of the same value or something?
0:32:12 > 0:32:16Yeah, that's fine. That's fine, Victoria is very helpful.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18- 'Right, OK.'- She'll sort it.
0:32:18 > 0:32:21I'll speak to her and see if we can change it for something similar, OK?
0:32:21 > 0:32:22OK, bye.
0:32:24 > 0:32:29They're going to speak to Victoria and see if she'll sort it.
0:32:29 > 0:32:31See if she'll swap it for something else.
0:32:33 > 0:32:34If not, we're fucked.
0:32:34 > 0:32:38If it's OK with Victoria, we can change the dress
0:32:38 > 0:32:42- for something in here you like, and you'll be fine.- Is that OK with you?
0:32:42 > 0:32:44- VICTORIA:- Let's have a look.
0:32:44 > 0:32:49Jill may be back in charge, but will she be able to find a dress that meets her exacting standards?
0:32:49 > 0:32:52Let's have a look and see if there's something else that jumps out
0:32:52 > 0:32:54and see what we can do to fix this, all right?
0:32:55 > 0:32:58With his poor choice of hen do and wedding dress,
0:32:58 > 0:33:02Mark is hoping for more success in the cake department.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04I'm just going to pick the cake up.
0:33:04 > 0:33:07I've not seen it yet, so I'm quite excited to see what this is like.
0:33:07 > 0:33:09I'm sure it will be amazing. Hiya.
0:33:09 > 0:33:11Thank you.
0:33:11 > 0:33:12Wow.
0:33:12 > 0:33:14There we go.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16- What do you think?- Fantastic. - Good.- Amazing.- Good.
0:33:16 > 0:33:19This cake cannot budge because it's four tiers.
0:33:19 > 0:33:20It needs to fit flat on your knee.
0:33:20 > 0:33:24Don't squeeze it at the bottom or anything like that.
0:33:24 > 0:33:25At least one thing's going right
0:33:25 > 0:33:27and, with Ryan protecting the perfect cake,
0:33:27 > 0:33:29they head two hours south to the festival site.
0:33:29 > 0:33:32I just can't believe she didn't like the dress
0:33:32 > 0:33:35but it's personal taste, isn't it?
0:33:35 > 0:33:37How are you feeling about the rest of it then?
0:33:37 > 0:33:40I've got doubts now, if she's going to like the venue now. Obviously.
0:33:40 > 0:33:43Because, anything we've done, previous to this,
0:33:43 > 0:33:47it's not been received greatly, but it's done now.
0:33:47 > 0:33:51Chin up. It'll come together for you.
0:33:51 > 0:33:53We'll see what happens.
0:33:53 > 0:33:54After a few bumps in the road,
0:33:54 > 0:33:58it's not just Mark's wedding plans that are starting to crack.
0:33:58 > 0:34:00- Is it collapsing?- It's starting to lean to the one side.
0:34:00 > 0:34:02Tip it the other way.
0:34:02 > 0:34:04I'd rather not in case it just topples over.
0:34:04 > 0:34:06I'd rather we just wait until we pull over.
0:34:11 > 0:34:12I'll get out.
0:34:12 > 0:34:15Whoa.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18- Fuck! Ryan. - Mark, this was not my fault.
0:34:18 > 0:34:21How is it not your fault? I asked you to hold it straight.
0:34:21 > 0:34:24- Look at that, it's cracked.- That's not my fault.- It's not your fault?
0:34:24 > 0:34:27It's not my fault.
0:34:27 > 0:34:31Honestly, mate. You can't fucking hold a cake straight. Look at it.
0:34:31 > 0:34:32It's collapsed, man.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35It's not my fault. How is it my fault?
0:34:35 > 0:34:37I don't know how to fix this.
0:34:47 > 0:34:52In Glasgow, the girl who spent years obsessing over wedding dresses
0:34:52 > 0:34:55is under pressure to pick a gown for her big day tomorrow.
0:34:55 > 0:34:57I quite like that.
0:34:57 > 0:35:00- I actually really like that. - Right.- I actually love it.
0:35:00 > 0:35:02But, Jill's back in the driver's seat.
0:35:02 > 0:35:04Well, I had picked this one out.
0:35:04 > 0:35:08- I'll try that one.- Right, OK. - And that one.- Right.
0:35:08 > 0:35:10We're high-fiving here because we are on a roll.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12- Go Victoria.- Let's do this. Right, OK.
0:35:12 > 0:35:15Taking charge, it only takes this controlling bride
0:35:15 > 0:35:18a few minutes to find a dress she loves.
0:35:20 > 0:35:22Oh, that's gorgeous.
0:35:22 > 0:35:25You can't get that, I want that for my wedding.
0:35:26 > 0:35:30And, with Jill back in charge, everyone's happy.
0:35:30 > 0:35:35Jill, that is absolutely fantastic, classic Audrey Hepburn, amazing.
0:35:35 > 0:35:38- I love it.- Look at the back. - Honestly, I do. 100%.
0:35:38 > 0:35:41- VICTORIA:- I'm in on this. I'm in on a shot of this.
0:35:41 > 0:35:43I think we should all do a team.
0:35:43 > 0:35:44Oh yes.
0:35:46 > 0:35:48See, it's so much better when the girls pick it.
0:35:48 > 0:35:51Why would you ever let a boy pick your dress?
0:35:51 > 0:35:52She may be pleased with the dress
0:35:52 > 0:35:55but now Jill's having doubts about the marriage.
0:35:55 > 0:35:58I wish I'd got this dress under better circumstances because,
0:35:58 > 0:36:01honestly, I feel so deflated. I'm meant to be getting married tomorrow
0:36:01 > 0:36:03and I just don't even feel like I want to, to be honest.
0:36:03 > 0:36:06He's just got everything wrong so far.
0:36:17 > 0:36:19It's the morning of the wedding
0:36:19 > 0:36:22and the Wickerman Festival is in full swing.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28The groom and his best man Chris are laying out bales of hay
0:36:28 > 0:36:30for the guests to sit on.
0:36:30 > 0:36:33But they're worried it's all going to look a bit
0:36:33 > 0:36:35poo.
0:36:35 > 0:36:38- Mark.- Yes, mate.- What I've been trying to do, bales-wise...
0:36:38 > 0:36:41- Is cover cow shit?- ..is cover shit so the guests aren't standing in it.
0:36:41 > 0:36:42Yeah, me too.
0:36:42 > 0:36:45We could maybe use the excess straw to cover the excess shite.
0:36:45 > 0:36:47We just need a shovel.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49I didn't see much on the runway
0:36:49 > 0:36:52- but there could be a couple of wee bits.- There's one there.
0:36:52 > 0:36:55I never thought I'd be shovelling shit on my wedding day.
0:36:55 > 0:36:58I thought, at this point, I might be getting pampered
0:36:58 > 0:37:01and looked after and stuff,
0:37:01 > 0:37:03not scooping up cow shit.
0:37:03 > 0:37:05Needs must, eh?
0:37:14 > 0:37:18At her mum's house, the bride is feeling a bit down in the dumps.
0:37:18 > 0:37:22- Are you looking forward to it, missus?- Yeah, I suppose.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24- I can't wait.- I know. - I've got a new dress.
0:37:24 > 0:37:26I'm glad somebody is excited.
0:37:30 > 0:37:33I think she's a bit better this morning. She's not 100%.
0:37:33 > 0:37:35I just hope she pulls it round
0:37:35 > 0:37:37in time for the venue
0:37:37 > 0:37:40and getting married.
0:37:40 > 0:37:44- But we'll just need to wait and see. - Are you worried?
0:37:44 > 0:37:46Yes, I'm very worried.
0:37:46 > 0:37:48This is, obviously, the biggest day of my life
0:37:48 > 0:37:50and it's not went to plan yet.
0:37:50 > 0:37:53So, I'll be honest, I'm not getting my hopes up today
0:37:53 > 0:37:56'cos I actually don't know what I'm walking into, to be honest,'
0:37:56 > 0:38:01so I'm just going to go with the flow and try and enjoy myself.
0:38:01 > 0:38:02- Things can only get better. - They can.
0:38:02 > 0:38:05That's the way I'm... What do you think, Ash?
0:38:05 > 0:38:06Let's be optimistic.
0:38:06 > 0:38:09- Something has to go right. - Something has to.
0:38:09 > 0:38:12'Anything else that she doesn't like,'
0:38:12 > 0:38:15I'm a bit fearful, to be perfectly honest.
0:38:15 > 0:38:17I'm fearful of that.
0:38:17 > 0:38:23Cos she's got such a temper, Jill. She just might go off on one again.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26And, as if on cue...
0:38:26 > 0:38:28Aargh!
0:38:28 > 0:38:32- Pull, pull, pull. - No, don't rip it.
0:38:32 > 0:38:36The emergency alterations on Jill's dress have made it too tight.
0:38:36 > 0:38:41and without the usual luxury of a second fitting, Jill's not happy.
0:38:41 > 0:38:44I can't actually move because they've altered it too tight.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46I'm in agony.
0:38:46 > 0:38:49- What if you...?- No, we've tried everything and it won't go down.
0:38:49 > 0:38:53Forced to wear a dress that doesn't fit her, a grumpy Jill
0:38:53 > 0:38:57and her dad Jim are being picked up by best man Burnsy,
0:38:57 > 0:39:01the man partly responsible for the first dress disaster.
0:39:10 > 0:39:14This is the big day now. Jill, it'll be brilliant.
0:39:14 > 0:39:17- Relax. You'll love it. - It's not been so far.
0:39:17 > 0:39:19Try and think positive.
0:39:19 > 0:39:21I've been trying to think positive
0:39:21 > 0:39:23for the last two weeks and every time I've thought positive,
0:39:23 > 0:39:26- I've been let down, so... - People are trying their best.
0:39:26 > 0:39:28I know but it's not my fault I've been let down.
0:39:28 > 0:39:30You've got to think that we've got two options.
0:39:30 > 0:39:33We can either look positive and have the best day of your life
0:39:33 > 0:39:36or we can go down and feel unhappy and before you even get there,
0:39:36 > 0:39:39you've made your mind up you're not going to have a good time.
0:39:39 > 0:39:43To be honest, this whole experience has just taken the life out of me
0:39:43 > 0:39:45so I'm pretty drained, to be honest.
0:39:45 > 0:39:48It's just not went the way I would have done it.
0:39:48 > 0:39:51This is the way you've done it. This was your choice.
0:39:53 > 0:39:56Let's just not talk about it any more. Let's just...
0:39:58 > 0:40:00..just do what we need to do.
0:40:02 > 0:40:05At the festival, Mark has organised for Jill
0:40:05 > 0:40:09to be whisked onto the main stage as soon as she arrives.
0:40:09 > 0:40:12The plan is for the 20,000 festival-goers to urge her
0:40:12 > 0:40:15to do the bungee jump before the ceremony.
0:40:15 > 0:40:18But, with guests already arriving, Mark is running late.
0:40:18 > 0:40:22- Do you know when more ice is coming up?- He's just on the radio now.
0:40:23 > 0:40:25'Mark is freaking his beans.
0:40:25 > 0:40:27'It's obviously behind schedule so, basically,'
0:40:27 > 0:40:29he's in there, trying to get his kilt on.
0:40:29 > 0:40:32Sling it on, last minute. There's guests here already
0:40:32 > 0:40:36and it's all a bit backwards just now, but hopefully
0:40:36 > 0:40:38he'll be ready, looking sharp for Jill to arrive.
0:40:42 > 0:40:44Breathe your head in.
0:40:44 > 0:40:47Jill is just minutes away from the festival.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53Right. It's going to ruin my eye make-up though.
0:40:53 > 0:40:55Mark's asked best man Burnsy
0:40:55 > 0:40:58to blindfold his bride to maximise her surprise.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00I don't really see the need for the mask.
0:41:00 > 0:41:02- Don't...- I'm not. I'm adjusting it.
0:41:03 > 0:41:05Oh, God.
0:41:05 > 0:41:07Stop peeking, Jill.
0:41:10 > 0:41:12Stop peeking.
0:41:12 > 0:41:13It's too hot under this mask.
0:41:14 > 0:41:18Jill, it is now imperative that you put the mask on.
0:41:18 > 0:41:21Jill wanted a high-class, traditional wedding,
0:41:21 > 0:41:23just like the ones in her magazine,
0:41:23 > 0:41:26but instead she is about to arrive to this...
0:41:37 > 0:41:40- Don't look. No, don't look. - Get your hand off my face.
0:41:45 > 0:41:47Why are we at a festival?
0:41:49 > 0:41:51Why are we at a festival? Why are we at a festival?
0:41:51 > 0:41:54We've got a wedding booked at the other side of this.
0:41:54 > 0:41:57- We're just passing the place. - No, no, no, no.
0:41:57 > 0:41:58Gonnae put that back on, please?
0:41:58 > 0:42:00I'm not going in there.
0:42:00 > 0:42:02I'm not going in there. I am so insulted.
0:42:02 > 0:42:06I am so insulted. I am so insulted. I am not going in there.
0:42:06 > 0:42:08I am not going in there.
0:42:08 > 0:42:10I'm not going in there.
0:42:10 > 0:42:13Fuck yous! I can't believe you did this to me.
0:42:13 > 0:42:16Having ripped off her blindfold, Jill's not having any of it
0:42:16 > 0:42:19and all Mark's plans to get her to the main stage have to be abandoned.
0:42:19 > 0:42:21Why don't we go see what the script is?
0:42:21 > 0:42:24I'm told it's away from here.
0:42:24 > 0:42:25Ashley, we're at a music festival.
0:42:25 > 0:42:28So, what do you want to do then? Do you want to just go home?
0:42:30 > 0:42:31Do you want to just throw in the towel?
0:42:31 > 0:42:34Look at the state of this. My dress is in the middle of mud.
0:42:34 > 0:42:36I know, I understand that. I really do.
0:42:36 > 0:42:40And you've got your wellies on. Seriously.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42- This is ridiculous. - That guy's got wellies for you.
0:42:42 > 0:42:44Do you think I'll put them on? You must be joking.
0:42:44 > 0:42:46I can't believe they brought me here.
0:42:46 > 0:42:49You need to speak to Mark about it. I don't know anything about it.
0:42:49 > 0:42:51Why would they do this to me?
0:42:51 > 0:42:52We don't know anything about it.
0:42:52 > 0:42:55- But why would they do this? - I don't know.
0:42:55 > 0:42:56I'm humiliated.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01Would you bring Becky? Oh no, you fucking wouldn't.
0:43:02 > 0:43:03Don't fall out with me, Dad.
0:43:05 > 0:43:09- Jill...- What, Ashley? This is embarrassing.
0:43:09 > 0:43:11It's not embarrassing. You're embarrassing me.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13It's my fault I've been brought to a music festival?
0:43:13 > 0:43:17- It's not...- We'll go to the farm, where everybody is...
0:43:17 > 0:43:19Oh, right, OK. Thank you very much.
0:43:19 > 0:43:22Right, go straight forward, up this alley.
0:43:22 > 0:43:24Straight on down to the main road and turn right.
0:43:24 > 0:43:27Festival organiser Jamie has come to the rescue.
0:43:27 > 0:43:31He's taking them to his farmhouse to help calm Jill down.
0:43:32 > 0:43:34You'd better be quiet, Jim, I swear to God.
0:43:34 > 0:43:37- I'll tell you something, honestly. - Yous two, enough.
0:43:37 > 0:43:40- JAMIE: Go to the right there. - (Look at the state of this.)
0:43:40 > 0:43:43We'll go and have a cup of tea.
0:43:43 > 0:43:48- Sounds good.- Keep going, straight on.- Just here?- Perfect.
0:43:48 > 0:43:49What's that?
0:43:50 > 0:43:52This is a...joke.
0:43:59 > 0:44:03Is this some sort of... Is this some sort of joke?
0:44:05 > 0:44:08- Thank you.- Your potential husband has gone to an awful lot of trouble
0:44:08 > 0:44:11- to get a lovely tent up there... - Why? He could have easily planned a normal wedding.
0:44:11 > 0:44:14Well, it's just bloody men - they get things wrong.
0:44:14 > 0:44:18But if you want to stick your heels in and say, "Bugger off, I don't want anything to do with it,"
0:44:18 > 0:44:20then now is the time to think about doing it.
0:44:20 > 0:44:24I just don't understand why anybody would put someone through this
0:44:24 > 0:44:26on their wedding day.
0:44:26 > 0:44:29He thought it was going to be a very special day.
0:44:29 > 0:44:32Do you want me to explain the ethos behind it, Jill?
0:44:33 > 0:44:36- You're not IN the festival. - Jill, can we take you over...
0:44:36 > 0:44:38You're not...
0:44:38 > 0:44:43- Listen to me.- Why are you wearing wellies? Where are your shoes?
0:44:43 > 0:44:49- I left them...- I don't want to put wellies on, do you know what I mean?
0:44:49 > 0:44:54They were just in case. They're a contingency. In case it rains. It's nice outside.
0:44:54 > 0:44:57I'm so disappointed, this is not what I wanted.
0:44:59 > 0:45:02I don't mind, like, the whole thing being different...
0:45:02 > 0:45:05But not THIS, I didn't want this.
0:45:05 > 0:45:10The only reason you've seen what you've seen is because you decided not to wear your mask.
0:45:10 > 0:45:14- Everybody got everything wrong! - One person got everything wrong.
0:45:15 > 0:45:16Not everybody else.
0:45:17 > 0:45:19Jill, can we go to the tent, please?
0:45:19 > 0:45:22Then you can make an informed decision on whether you want to do this or not.
0:45:22 > 0:45:26Because if you don't, then don't. But if you do, then...
0:45:26 > 0:45:29You should at least know what you're getting into.
0:45:29 > 0:45:34My granny, who's 85, wanted me to get married in our church.
0:45:34 > 0:45:36And this is so not even like that.
0:45:36 > 0:45:38I just wanted a traditional wedding.
0:45:38 > 0:45:42- We're at a festival, not IN it. - Come and look at what we've set up.
0:45:42 > 0:45:44There is some traditional stuff there.
0:45:44 > 0:45:46But this is supposed to be the biggest day of my life
0:45:46 > 0:45:48and I'm not happy.
0:45:54 > 0:45:59Totally unaware of Jill's meltdown, the guests are arriving by tractor.
0:45:59 > 0:46:03And none of them were expecting a wedding quite like this.
0:46:03 > 0:46:06This is amazing, I think it's so good.
0:46:06 > 0:46:10Oh, wow - is this the Wickerman Festival or something?
0:46:10 > 0:46:15- It's so funny!- You pulled a blinder on this one.- A blinder!
0:46:15 > 0:46:17I think it's absolutely bonkers.
0:46:17 > 0:46:21I think it's fantastic, but I don't even know what's going on.
0:46:21 > 0:46:26I just think it's crazy! I just never... I don't know!
0:46:26 > 0:46:30But it's great, and I'm loving it. The sun is out and... Cheers!
0:46:30 > 0:46:35Everyone's embracing the festival fun. Everyone except the bride.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38- Smells of shit.- It does, too, here.
0:46:38 > 0:46:41It does, it's fucking rank.
0:46:42 > 0:46:44This is the worst idea...ever.
0:46:47 > 0:46:52This is the last thing that I would have ever wanted...
0:46:54 > 0:46:56I think you should put on a brave face and see the fun in it.
0:46:56 > 0:46:58That's my advice to you.
0:47:00 > 0:47:04Mark's heard from Burnsy, and desperately concerned
0:47:04 > 0:47:07Jill will pull out on him, he's abandoned all plans
0:47:07 > 0:47:12and made the unconventional move of coming to speak to his bride.
0:47:12 > 0:47:15- This is not what I wanted.- Jill... - No, it's not.
0:47:15 > 0:47:16This is really not what I wanted.
0:47:16 > 0:47:18You're not getting married at a festival.
0:47:18 > 0:47:21You're getting married BESIDE a festival in a fucking big marquee.
0:47:21 > 0:47:25- We're at a festival. - You're not at a festival.
0:47:25 > 0:47:28- You ruined my hen do, you ruined my dress...- How did I ruin your hen do?
0:47:28 > 0:47:31- My hen do was shit.- How was your hen do shit?- It was shit!
0:47:31 > 0:47:35It was bog-standard average crap. Like, honest to God...
0:47:36 > 0:47:38- Jill!- What?!
0:47:38 > 0:47:41- This is...- This has been the worst experience of my life.
0:47:41 > 0:47:44Look up here, it's absolutely stunning. Everyone's come up here
0:47:44 > 0:47:47- for you, we're having a party up here...- Fine, Mark.
0:47:47 > 0:47:48Do you know something?
0:47:48 > 0:47:50Mark, you should know me by now, this is not what I wanted.
0:47:50 > 0:47:54Jill, come on - you love going out, having these sorts of things happening...
0:47:54 > 0:47:56When I go out! I like doing it at the weekend,
0:47:56 > 0:47:59with my friends, with you, twice a year,
0:47:59 > 0:48:04- I do not want it for my wedding day. - You're not getting married in a festival!- That's the way I feel!
0:48:04 > 0:48:06But you've not given it a chance yet.
0:48:09 > 0:48:11The ONE thing you had to do, and you've ruined it.
0:48:11 > 0:48:15I did NOT want this. I wanted a traditional wedding.
0:48:15 > 0:48:16I don't want THIS!
0:48:16 > 0:48:19Guys, while you're deciding things, could I walk across and have a glass of champagne?
0:48:19 > 0:48:25- Course you can, yes.- Shall I bring one for you?- Yes.- I'll get two.
0:48:25 > 0:48:27You're looking absolutely stunning.
0:48:27 > 0:48:29In the dress that YOU didn't pick.
0:48:29 > 0:48:30The one they altered too tight,
0:48:30 > 0:48:33because you picked some fucking dress that was hideous, that we had
0:48:33 > 0:48:37to alter last night - this one - which doesn't fit me.
0:48:37 > 0:48:41You brought me to a field with no welly boots and I'm in high heels that are killing my feet...
0:48:41 > 0:48:42You've got welly boots.
0:48:42 > 0:48:46- I left them up at Peter's house, or whoever's house that is.- Whose house?
0:48:46 > 0:48:50- Did you like them?- No. Why the fuck would I put welly boots on...?
0:48:50 > 0:48:53Fuck this, Jill. Honestly.
0:48:53 > 0:48:57- The amount of work I've put in over the last few weeks for this. - I could've done better.
0:48:57 > 0:48:58No you couldn't.
0:48:58 > 0:49:03I'm in a far nicer dress... I'm in a far nicer dress than you would have ever picked.
0:49:03 > 0:49:06This is the first dress I picked up in the shop, I went, "That'll do."
0:49:06 > 0:49:08Amazing.
0:49:10 > 0:49:12- Just leave, Mark.- What're you doing? - "What am I doing?"
0:49:12 > 0:49:15I'm going to have to marry you, but I'm right fucked off.
0:49:15 > 0:49:19- You don't HAVE to marry me. - Of course I want to marry you.- Yeah?
0:49:19 > 0:49:23- Get out the car, you piss me off. Get out of the car.- Give me a kiss.- No.
0:49:23 > 0:49:25- Get out the car.- Give me a kiss. - I'm not giving you a kiss.
0:49:25 > 0:49:28- Give me a kiss.- No.- Give me a kiss. - No.- Give me a kiss.
0:49:28 > 0:49:30I hate you so much, I've been through so much...
0:49:32 > 0:49:35Only Mark could manage to tame the wild beast,
0:49:35 > 0:49:37and, tantrum over,
0:49:37 > 0:49:39it looks like the wedding is back on.
0:49:42 > 0:49:46You knew you weren't going to get a normal, traditional wedding.
0:49:46 > 0:49:49- Look at my fucking guests! - I know, how funny is that?!
0:49:49 > 0:49:52- How good's that? How good's that?- What?!
0:49:52 > 0:49:55How good's that? How good is that?
0:49:55 > 0:49:56THEY WHOOP AND CHEER
0:49:56 > 0:49:58We're at a fucking music festival!
0:49:58 > 0:50:01HONKS HORN
0:50:03 > 0:50:06- There she is! - WILD CHEERING
0:50:10 > 0:50:12Why are we at a music festival?!
0:50:14 > 0:50:17- Are we ready to get married?! - ALL: Yes!
0:50:17 > 0:50:22- We're going to have a wedding. - Looks like it. - That's the most important thing.
0:50:24 > 0:50:26So after three weeks of high drama,
0:50:26 > 0:50:29Jill is finally walking up the aisle.
0:50:29 > 0:50:31And she looks quite happy.
0:50:39 > 0:50:43I, Mark, promise you, Jill, to be your best friend,
0:50:43 > 0:50:46I promise to love and cherish you always. Will you take me as your husband,
0:50:46 > 0:50:47and spend your life with me?
0:50:47 > 0:50:49Today I vow to be your wife, look after you,
0:50:49 > 0:50:53love and cherish you and be the mother of your children.
0:50:53 > 0:50:55I'm so proud to be Mrs Mark Loney.
0:50:55 > 0:50:59You are the best part of me and I will love you until the end of time.
0:50:59 > 0:51:02APPLAUSE
0:51:05 > 0:51:09I hereby declare that you, Mark and Jill, are now husband and wife.
0:51:09 > 0:51:11CHEERING
0:51:19 > 0:51:22I give you Mark and Jill.
0:51:27 > 0:51:31Against all the odds, Mark and Jill are husband and wife.
0:51:31 > 0:51:33But the day's not over yet...
0:51:33 > 0:51:36- Oh my God, it's so nice!- Like it? - I love it!
0:51:43 > 0:51:47- It was a four-tier cake...- Uh-huh... - And we had to drive it down here...
0:51:47 > 0:51:51- Did it fall?- The bottom tier collapsed.- Thank you.
0:51:51 > 0:51:55- It's still a wee bit... Thank you so much.- For you, Jilly.
0:51:55 > 0:51:56Mark has pulled off the impossible.
0:51:56 > 0:51:59He might not have spent 70 grand,
0:51:59 > 0:52:01but he's organised a wedding so original
0:52:01 > 0:52:05that even Britain's most demanding bride is happy.
0:52:05 > 0:52:08I would like to say to you...
0:52:08 > 0:52:11that you have made me so angry,
0:52:11 > 0:52:14but yet so sad, in the last three weeks.
0:52:14 > 0:52:17- But do you know something? It's all been worth it.- Yeah?
0:52:17 > 0:52:19Because as much as I'm pained to say, you're so right,
0:52:19 > 0:52:22you're really good at planning weddings.
0:52:22 > 0:52:25- Apart from getting dresses? - Shut up, Mark - that was really shit, actually.
0:52:25 > 0:52:27That was really shit.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30In the last three weeks, we've put everything - heart, soul, blood, tears -
0:52:30 > 0:52:33just to get this perfect for you.
0:52:33 > 0:52:36- And it's more than perfect. - It's more than perfect, is it?- Yeah.
0:52:36 > 0:52:38- Shall we go and have fun? - Yes. I love you.
0:52:38 > 0:52:39Go and see the magician?
0:52:39 > 0:52:41Right, everybody!
0:52:41 > 0:52:44This is the only bit of my wedding that I get to organise.
0:52:44 > 0:52:47One...two...
0:52:47 > 0:52:49three... Go!
0:52:56 > 0:53:00This'll be the last time I'll speak on Jill and me's behalf again, ever!
0:53:00 > 0:53:02So, I'd better make the most of it.
0:53:02 > 0:53:06- You'd better believe it. - It's not even started yet!
0:53:06 > 0:53:10But Jill, in all honesty, you do make me feel happy.
0:53:10 > 0:53:13On that note, if you could all stand and toast my beautiful wife, Jill.
0:53:13 > 0:53:15CHEERING
0:53:15 > 0:53:19'I'm so glad that Mark Loney is back in her life, because I didn't realise'
0:53:19 > 0:53:21what a pain in the backside Jill was!
0:53:21 > 0:53:25- Have her!- I totally love her, I knew she was dramatic, but oh, my God!
0:53:25 > 0:53:31But today has proved, no matter what, she loves him, she wants to marry him, so...
0:53:31 > 0:53:34We're so relieved that she went through with it.
0:53:34 > 0:53:36I was worried that her own emotions would just take over.
0:53:36 > 0:53:40"I don't want to do this, therefore I'm not marrying him," which is not the point!
0:53:40 > 0:53:44That's not the point! But she done it, so we're so happy.
0:53:45 > 0:53:47Jill may have spoiled Mark's grand plan,
0:53:47 > 0:53:52but with his bride back from the brink, he decides to push his luck.
0:53:52 > 0:53:56- The main stage fucked up earlier on. - Right.- But, we're going down now.- OK.
0:53:56 > 0:54:01- Do you want to go for it?- Yes. - The headline act is about to go on.
0:54:02 > 0:54:05- The headline act is about to go on. Shall I go down and do it? - Yes, let's do it.
0:54:05 > 0:54:08We're going to be on stage! We're going to the main stage!
0:54:08 > 0:54:11So the bride that wanted a traditional wedding,
0:54:11 > 0:54:13as featured in her glossy magazine,
0:54:13 > 0:54:17is loving every minute of her truly alternative day.
0:54:18 > 0:54:22We're at the main stage of the Wickerman Festival.
0:54:22 > 0:54:25Why did I ever say I wanted a traditional wedding?
0:54:25 > 0:54:29# MUSIC: "One Day Like This" by Elbow
0:54:32 > 0:54:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:54:36 > 0:54:39Jill! Jilly!
0:54:39 > 0:54:41It's usually stars up on the main stage,
0:54:41 > 0:54:44and because you're my star, that's why you're here.
0:54:44 > 0:54:47CHEERING
0:54:51 > 0:54:55So... I'm just pretty much up here, promising...
0:54:55 > 0:54:58to...make you proud.
0:54:58 > 0:55:02And be the best husband you can imagine. OK?
0:55:02 > 0:55:04CHANTING: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
0:55:04 > 0:55:08And now he just needs the help of the 20,000-strong crowd,
0:55:08 > 0:55:10to get her on the bungee ball!
0:55:10 > 0:55:13So anyway, we're going to go on the bungee ball after this, as well.
0:55:13 > 0:55:15CHEERING
0:55:18 > 0:55:22It's up to Jill if she goes on, but it's more up to you guys, so...
0:55:22 > 0:55:24CHEERING
0:55:24 > 0:55:28- CHANTING:- Do it! Do it! Do it!
0:55:30 > 0:55:32I'll do it. I'll do it!
0:55:32 > 0:55:35CHEERING
0:55:37 > 0:55:40Give it up for the bride and groom! Mark and Jill!
0:55:40 > 0:55:46# So throw those curtains wide
0:55:46 > 0:55:52# Just one day like this a year would see me right
0:55:52 > 0:55:57# Throw those curtains wide
0:55:57 > 0:56:03# One day like this a year would see me right. #
0:56:03 > 0:56:06Oh, my God! HE LAUGHS
0:56:06 > 0:56:09Oh, Loney - I'm going to kill you!
0:56:09 > 0:56:15Next week, metalhead Martin plans a wedding to rock his bride's world.
0:56:15 > 0:56:18I need, like, the princess wedding.
0:56:18 > 0:56:21It needs to be a big metal show.
0:56:21 > 0:56:24But with a best man vying for the limelight...
0:56:24 > 0:56:27- Are you jealous cos I've got other people here? - And more meltdowns than metal...
0:56:27 > 0:56:30- I don't even WANT you at my wedding! - One more word!
0:56:30 > 0:56:34Will bride Terri get a day to remember,
0:56:34 > 0:56:35or one she'd rather forget?
0:56:35 > 0:56:38I don't like it at all. SHE SOBS
0:57:02 > 0:57:04CHEERING
0:57:04 > 0:57:07Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd