0:00:02 > 0:00:05Families can be driven apart for all manner of reasons.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08My mum went away and didn't come back.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10And when you do lose touch with your loved ones...
0:00:10 > 0:00:12I never saw Kathleen again.
0:00:12 > 0:00:15..finding them can take a lifetime.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17I wonder where he is, I wonder what he's doing.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19You don't really know where to begin.
0:00:19 > 0:00:23Especially when they could be anywhere, at home or abroad.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28And that's where the Family Finders come in.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Hi, it's the Salvation Army Family Tracing Service.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33From international organisations...
0:00:33 > 0:00:37There's never been a day when we have never had new enquiries.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40..to genealogy detective agencies...
0:00:40 > 0:00:42When is it you last had contact with him?
0:00:42 > 0:00:44..and dedicated one-man bands.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47I like to do searches that other people can't get,
0:00:47 > 0:00:49cos it makes me feel good.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51They hunt through history...
0:00:51 > 0:00:54to bring families back together again.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56You are my biological dad.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59In this series, we follow the work of the Family Finders...
0:00:59 > 0:01:02This case came from our Australian colleagues.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05..learning the tricks they use to track missing relatives
0:01:05 > 0:01:06through time...
0:01:06 > 0:01:10I'm 68 years of age, she's 75 years of age and we're just starting off.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14..and meeting the people whose lives they change along the way.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16I said, "Well, this is your younger sister."
0:01:16 > 0:01:18It's a miracle.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21I was struck speechless, and I couldn't stop crying.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23It's a proud moment for Dad.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25...of finding my family.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36Every year, thousands of people throughout the UK attempt to trace
0:01:36 > 0:01:37long-lost relatives.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Sometimes, all they have is a tiny scrap of information,
0:01:42 > 0:01:47but charities and private agencies can help track people down.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Good afternoon, Family Tracing, how can I help?
0:01:51 > 0:01:55Family break-up can put a huge distance between parents
0:01:55 > 0:01:56and their children.
0:01:57 > 0:01:58Divorce is a really
0:01:58 > 0:02:02common reason for families to lose touch
0:02:02 > 0:02:04with one another, like in this situation with Claire.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08Her parents had separated when she was really young and they'd lost
0:02:08 > 0:02:11contact completely, and that's why she was trying to find him.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18Claire Seville is a photographer based in Birmingham.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19Come on.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23She and her husband, Chance, have a seven-year-old daughter, Dylan,
0:02:23 > 0:02:26and family life is very important to Claire.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29But she never knew her own father.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31When Dad left, I was three months old,
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Sarah was about six,
0:02:33 > 0:02:36so I've got no memories of him at all.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39I was too little to know what was going on.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42As a child, Claire always felt she was in some way responsible
0:02:42 > 0:02:45for her dad's departure.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49Mum never spoke about Dad. And if you asked about him,
0:02:49 > 0:02:52it got shut down very quickly.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55She also worried what her older sister, Sarah, thought.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58I used to think when we were growing up...
0:02:58 > 0:03:03that she thought it was my fault that he'd left because I was a new baby.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06And because he left only three months after me being born,
0:03:06 > 0:03:09I used to feel that maybe she thought it was my fault at that time.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11I didn't have... You know, nothing had been said,
0:03:11 > 0:03:14that was my own conclusion. I drew it myself growing up.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18Claire may have no memories of her father, George,
0:03:18 > 0:03:21but things are quite different for her sister, Sarah.
0:03:21 > 0:03:25Remembering back to having Dad there, I was like his shadow.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Totally follow him anywhere and everywhere.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30I really enjoyed being around him,
0:03:30 > 0:03:33remember lots of things about him, erm...
0:03:33 > 0:03:35and just spending time with him, really.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38I always wanted to spend time with him and be with him.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43I remember one picture of him, sort of, standing in Drayton Manor,
0:03:43 > 0:03:46I think it was. I think the whole family had gone -
0:03:46 > 0:03:48all the aunts and uncles and everything -
0:03:48 > 0:03:50and it was kind of from a distance.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53And he just looked like a guy with dark hair and a moustache,
0:03:53 > 0:03:57sort of, '70s-style, but you couldn't really see his face.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00But I didn't have any other pictures other than that.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02And, quite a funny story, actually.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06Because I'd got this image of this man with black hair and a moustache,
0:04:06 > 0:04:10when I was about four, Mum took me on the bus to go into town
0:04:10 > 0:04:13and the bus driver had dark hair and a moustache.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16And I shouted at the top of my voice, "Are you my dad?"
0:04:16 > 0:04:19And my mum died, she actually died a death
0:04:19 > 0:04:21in front of a bus full of people that have just asked the bus driver
0:04:21 > 0:04:24if he was my dad. But it was cos I'd got that image
0:04:24 > 0:04:26of the moustache from the photo
0:04:26 > 0:04:28that I just came out with it.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31With their mum working, the girls spent a lot of time
0:04:31 > 0:04:34with their grandparents, Helena and George.
0:04:34 > 0:04:39When Mum and Dad split, we had very supportive grandparents.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Grandad's always been great, you know,
0:04:41 > 0:04:45I never felt like I'd missed out at all with my dad not being around
0:04:45 > 0:04:47cos I didn't know what it would be like.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50So, sort of, Grandad was my dad to me, really.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53And all the things that you do with your dad like play football
0:04:53 > 0:04:55in the back garden and the gardening and all those kind of things,
0:04:55 > 0:04:57I did with him.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59And I didn't realise that it was strange that I was living
0:04:59 > 0:05:02with my grandparents until I started senior school
0:05:02 > 0:05:05and someone said, "Well, how come you live with your grandparents?"
0:05:05 > 0:05:08And it was always being normal to me to be around them so much.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Cos we had, you know, grandparents that were there,
0:05:12 > 0:05:14I don't think we felt the impact so much then.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18I started to feel the impact more so when I was a teenager,
0:05:18 > 0:05:21and realising that actually my family set-up was quite different
0:05:21 > 0:05:23to my friends at school,
0:05:23 > 0:05:26and realising that most people didn't have the grandad
0:05:26 > 0:05:29that did everything that the dad normally did.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33And then starting to remember things about my dad's family.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36And I wonder what he's doing and if he remembers,
0:05:36 > 0:05:41you know, being with us ever or if we're just completely forgotten.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45The girls were happy growing up in Birmingham in the 1980s,
0:05:45 > 0:05:48a life interrupted just once by the presence of their father.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53The last time I saw my dad, I was ten, almost 11,
0:05:53 > 0:05:56and it was a school open day for my secondary school,
0:05:56 > 0:05:58so quite a bizarre set up, really,
0:05:58 > 0:06:02because he obviously came with us all to my secondary school
0:06:02 > 0:06:05to have a look round. So quite bizarre, really.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08I remember being quite proud that he was there
0:06:08 > 0:06:11and looking round the school with me
0:06:11 > 0:06:13and thinking that the other kids would just look at us
0:06:13 > 0:06:16as a normal family, yet I knew I hadn't seen him since I was six,
0:06:16 > 0:06:18so that was quite bizarre, really.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21I've only got one memory of my dad
0:06:21 > 0:06:23and it... All I can remember is the back of his head.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25He was having a shave in the bathroom
0:06:25 > 0:06:27and I remember walking past the bathroom,
0:06:27 > 0:06:29I must have only been about four,
0:06:29 > 0:06:32seeing him there, but I didn't know who he was.
0:06:32 > 0:06:36When Sarah was 15, she did try to get in touch with her father.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39I did actually write to him.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42I remember sending this letter with a stamped addressed envelope
0:06:42 > 0:06:44saying, "If you don't want anything to do with me,
0:06:44 > 0:06:46"then I can cope with that, but just send back the envelope empty
0:06:46 > 0:06:49"and I'll know," and nothing ever came back, so I was kind of left
0:06:49 > 0:06:52in limbo, not really knowing whether he cared or not.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54So that was quite difficult.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00After trying to contact their father without response,
0:07:00 > 0:07:03the girls got on with their lives.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Both got married and had families of their own.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09But they were always left wondering
0:07:09 > 0:07:12whether their dad ever wanted to see them again.
0:07:12 > 0:07:16A few years ago, something dawned on me and it was basically,
0:07:16 > 0:07:19I don't know whether he's alive or dead.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22And that had quite a big impact.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26It does pull on the heartstrings to think that there is family out there
0:07:26 > 0:07:28that should be part of your life and should know
0:07:28 > 0:07:32what you're doing and support you and you be supporting them
0:07:32 > 0:07:34but not to have any contact with them at all.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37In many cases, people use traditional methods
0:07:37 > 0:07:40to trace long-lost relatives.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43But for Claire, the death of her grandparents left her longing
0:07:43 > 0:07:45for a connection with her family.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49In desperation, she tried to talk to her grandparents...
0:07:49 > 0:07:51beyond the grave.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54I actually went for a reading with a medium, erm...
0:07:54 > 0:07:56You know, not everyone believes in it,
0:07:56 > 0:07:58but after losing my two grandparents,
0:07:58 > 0:08:02I felt like I needed to go and, sort of, connect with the other side,
0:08:02 > 0:08:06and my dad's dad came through.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08And he said that he wished he'd done more
0:08:08 > 0:08:13and he wished that he'd pushed for us to have seen each other more,
0:08:13 > 0:08:18but please don't give up and go and find him before it's too late.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20And that really, sort of, spurred me on then
0:08:20 > 0:08:22and I was determined that I was going to find him.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27After starting with a fairly ethereal approach
0:08:27 > 0:08:29to tracing her relatives,
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Claire's now going down a more straightforward route
0:08:32 > 0:08:35and has got in touch with a family finding agency.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39These are the words that Claire sent to us.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41"I would like to find my dad.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44"He split with my mum when I was three months old,
0:08:44 > 0:08:48"came back once when I was four, but I didn't really know who he was.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50"I haven't seen him since, I don't know him at all
0:08:50 > 0:08:52"or what it looks like.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56"I feel like it's a part of who I am that's missing."
0:08:57 > 0:09:00I always wondered where my dad was and, erm...
0:09:00 > 0:09:04what his life was like now and whether he'd had more children.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06That always, sort of, fascinated me,
0:09:06 > 0:09:09that I might have half brothers and sisters somewhere.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13This is a really, really typical response
0:09:13 > 0:09:16from somebody who's trying to get back in touch with somebody
0:09:16 > 0:09:18and these are the things they want to know.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21If you imagine if you didn't know who your father was, or your mother,
0:09:21 > 0:09:24and you wouldn't have any details about them at all,
0:09:24 > 0:09:26you would want to know what they looked like,
0:09:26 > 0:09:28if they look like you, if they were like you in any way
0:09:28 > 0:09:29and things like that.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33When Claire said that she'd gone ahead and found this tracing company
0:09:33 > 0:09:35that were actually going to find him,
0:09:35 > 0:09:37I, kind of, didn't think that they would.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39I thought, "No, it probably won't happen,
0:09:39 > 0:09:42"so I'm not going to worry too much about it at this stage."
0:09:42 > 0:09:45She said to me that it was important that I found him
0:09:45 > 0:09:49because I didn't know him and I hadn't got any memories.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52I needed to meet him so I knew.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55It's just...it's a big hole in my life that I know nothing about.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00The information that Claire was able to come to us with was...
0:10:00 > 0:10:05was quite a lot really compared to...what some people have.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07She didn't think it was particularly much,
0:10:07 > 0:10:10but from our point of view, it was really helpful information.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12So Claire came to us with the name of the person
0:10:12 > 0:10:15that she was looking for, which was George Saville.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17She knew that he was about 63 years old,
0:10:17 > 0:10:20that he came originally from Yorkshire
0:10:20 > 0:10:22and that he had some brothers and sisters,
0:10:22 > 0:10:25an older sister called Susan
0:10:25 > 0:10:28and a much younger brother called John.
0:10:28 > 0:10:29The next step in finding George
0:10:29 > 0:10:32was to try and find a birth record for him.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35What we came up with was a George Saville...
0:10:36 > 0:10:40..born in Bradford in 1952.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Now, that puts him exactly the age of the person
0:10:42 > 0:10:43that we were looking for.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47And we could also see that there was only one person
0:10:47 > 0:10:51called George Saville born in or around 1952.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54So only one person who would be the right age
0:10:54 > 0:10:56for the George Saville we were looking for.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58When we looked closer at his birth record,
0:10:58 > 0:11:02we found his mother's maiden surname, which was Edmondson.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06We cross-referenced other birth records with the surname Saville
0:11:06 > 0:11:09where the mother's maiden surname was Edmondson
0:11:09 > 0:11:12and found an older sister called Susan
0:11:12 > 0:11:13and a younger brother called John.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16So we knew that it fit, it fit the person that we were looking for,
0:11:16 > 0:11:20so we're absolutely confident we've found the right birth record.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23They sent a letter to this George Saville
0:11:23 > 0:11:25but if they're to be reunited with their father,
0:11:25 > 0:11:27they now need him to respond.
0:11:35 > 0:11:40Not everyone uses specialist search agencies to find their family.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Many try searching themselves.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45People like Ray Martin, for example.
0:11:46 > 0:11:50Ray was born in 1957 and grew up in Newcastle
0:11:50 > 0:11:54with the people he thought were his natural parents.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57Ray loved his childhood in '60s Newcastle.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00His family were part of the mining community
0:12:00 > 0:12:03but the industry was in decline and they had to leave.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Despite his brief time in Newcastle,
0:12:06 > 0:12:09Ray formed a strong bond with the city.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12I was only in Newcastle till the age of 11...
0:12:14 > 0:12:15..and then I left.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20At the time, I remember, I cried my eyes out.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26It was, it was very... At that time, at that age, it was very tearful.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30In those days, in 1969, the actual...
0:12:30 > 0:12:32the pits up north were closing.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34The only place which was for the coalface
0:12:34 > 0:12:36was places like Nottingham.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39You know, the decision was made, we moved down to Nottingham.
0:12:39 > 0:12:44Initially, Ray enjoyed his new life in his new home.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Yeah, we used to have some fun and games.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50Local village kids played the other local village kids at football.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55But one night, at the age of 14, his world was turned on its head.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00There was an argument. You know, you can hear the voices downstairs
0:13:00 > 0:13:03in the kitchen and I just happened to be on the stairs at the time.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06And then, as you do when you're at that age,
0:13:06 > 0:13:08you think you want to listen, you want to be nosy and find out
0:13:08 > 0:13:10what is actually happening.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Me auntie there says,
0:13:12 > 0:13:15"You took him on, you adopted him."
0:13:15 > 0:13:16And as soon as I heard that,
0:13:16 > 0:13:18as I was sitting on the stairs, it just...
0:13:18 > 0:13:20you know what I mean? It just, bang!
0:13:20 > 0:13:24And it was a shock. It just seemed like you were in a cocoon after that.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26You're oblivious to what was going around you,
0:13:26 > 0:13:29you just... Soon as you heard that, it was just shock
0:13:29 > 0:13:30and you were just, "What?"
0:13:30 > 0:13:35Ray had found out he was adopted in one of the worst ways imaginable,
0:13:35 > 0:13:37and life would never be the same again.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41The young Ray was left with lots of questions,
0:13:41 > 0:13:45but his adoptive mother, Violet, wouldn't give him any information
0:13:45 > 0:13:47about his background.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49She wouldn't say nothing because as far...in her eyes,
0:13:49 > 0:13:53I was her child, and that's how she looked at it.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55So you can imagine, there was no questions.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58She'd done the best and I was quite happy
0:13:58 > 0:14:02for what she was giving to me and the surrounding people around me.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06But at 16, Ray was ready to leave home.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09He joined the Army and had a family of his own.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12It wasn't until his adoptive mum, Violet, died
0:14:12 > 0:14:15that he felt able to begin the search for his birth mother.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19What I wanted to do is I wanted to meet me mother,
0:14:19 > 0:14:20me birth mother.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Erm, and...
0:14:22 > 0:14:24I wanted to see how she felt.
0:14:24 > 0:14:29Because I know in myself that for any woman to give up a child
0:14:29 > 0:14:33for any reason, it is hard, it's got to be hard.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35So that's why I wanted to meet.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40Let her, in her own time, tell me what I wanted to know.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44All he had to go on was his mother's name,
0:14:44 > 0:14:48Maureen Robinson, from a scrap of paperwork.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51Me birth mother, Maureen Robinson,
0:14:51 > 0:14:54she had me christened...
0:14:54 > 0:14:56at Wallsend St Luke's church
0:14:56 > 0:14:58but it wasn't much to go on, really.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01You know, it was difficult and, like, a needle in a haystack.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05Ray and his wife wrote letters to lots of different Maureen Robinsons
0:15:05 > 0:15:07and did all they could to find her,
0:15:07 > 0:15:09but by his late 40s, Ray gave up hope
0:15:09 > 0:15:12and decided to stop looking for his mum.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14It's demoralising when you think about it
0:15:14 > 0:15:17because it's something which you want to close your book.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21And yet you will never get the end of that book...
0:15:21 > 0:15:23if them pages are missing.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Ray concentrated on bringing up his own family.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32But his son, Alan, had witnessed his dad's search for his birth mother
0:15:32 > 0:15:36while he was growing up. And when he was old enough,
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Alan decided his dad shouldn't give up hope
0:15:38 > 0:15:42and restarted the search for Ray's mum.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46What I really wanted to...
0:15:46 > 0:15:50provide my dad was the answers to his questions.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Alan was born in the digital age and had the tenacity and the know-how
0:15:54 > 0:15:56to take on the task.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59Part of it is the person that I am as well - I love a challenge.
0:15:59 > 0:16:03Erm, you know. And what more of a challenge than
0:16:03 > 0:16:05something that somebody else couldn't solve.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09What also changed was it was the age of the internet
0:16:09 > 0:16:12and various other tools that are out there.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Despite all the years of searching,
0:16:14 > 0:16:18Alan's dad, Ray, hadn't left him with much to go on.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20The information we had was
0:16:20 > 0:16:24purely just his mother's name.
0:16:24 > 0:16:30Unfortunately, it's a very common name up in Newcastle
0:16:30 > 0:16:35and we had no date of birth, which is the tricky thing.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38So Alan decided to guess his grandmother's date of birth.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42Genes Reunited played a key part,
0:16:42 > 0:16:46many evenings were spent searching for births, marriages, deaths,
0:16:46 > 0:16:49and a lot of information was gathered.
0:16:49 > 0:16:53Lists of people's names who were potential matches.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55By searching the marriage records,
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Alan found 16 potential Maureen Robinsons
0:16:58 > 0:17:01who got married around that age in Newcastle.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Armed with his list of potential grandmothers,
0:17:06 > 0:17:10it was time to leave Essex and head north.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13The next step was a field trip to Newcastle
0:17:13 > 0:17:17in the hope that we could go up there and find
0:17:17 > 0:17:21who else she lived with at the time and work backwards from there.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Alan searched through the electoral rolls
0:17:23 > 0:17:26but failed to come up with any new information
0:17:26 > 0:17:30until a crucial meeting with social services finally revealed
0:17:30 > 0:17:33exactly why his father had been put up for adoption.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38I suppose for you it was quite nice to gain an answer
0:17:38 > 0:17:41to one of the questions of why you were given up.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44Yeah, that's right. What we were told was it wasn't just like,
0:17:44 > 0:17:47open the door, kick the backside and that was it.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49It wasn't like that, it was totally different.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53It was due to illness within the family, and that's the reason why.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Those days and times in the '50s,
0:17:55 > 0:17:57when a member of the family's ill,
0:17:57 > 0:18:00- it's hard for them to keep the family going.- Yeah.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04Erm, and so that was the best option
0:18:04 > 0:18:09and when I got adopted out to me birth mother's best friend.
0:18:09 > 0:18:13Most intriguingly of all, Ray had always thought he was an only child,
0:18:13 > 0:18:15but on the paperwork, there was a hint
0:18:15 > 0:18:17that he might even have siblings.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19They wasn't sure at the time how many it was, but, I think,
0:18:19 > 0:18:23there was an indication that there was other siblings,
0:18:23 > 0:18:24brothers and sisters.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27And, I think, when you're on your own -
0:18:27 > 0:18:30you've been brought up on your own as an only child -
0:18:30 > 0:18:32and you find out that there's more than one of yous,
0:18:32 > 0:18:35yeah, it's a certain shock to the system.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37But a good one at that, anyway.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41And the adoption papers held one final critical clue.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45Ray's father's surname was Robson, a common name in Newcastle
0:18:45 > 0:18:47but at least it was a name.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50How I felt was, "Oh, we're getting closer."
0:18:50 > 0:18:54"We're getting closer to trying to find a family and that."
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Armed with this new information, Alan checked the 16 marriages
0:18:57 > 0:19:00involving a Maureen Robinson, and one of them came good.
0:19:00 > 0:19:06Luck has it that there was one that had Robson as the surname.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10Erm, so that was the first...that was the first point,
0:19:10 > 0:19:15it was let's order it, let's order that marriage certificate...
0:19:15 > 0:19:17and see what comes back.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20Only by matching up the signatures on the marriage certificate
0:19:20 > 0:19:23and the adoption papers would they know for sure
0:19:23 > 0:19:25that this was Ray's mother.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29But for now, all they could do was wait for the certificates to arrive.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40In Birmingham, Claire Seville's dad, George,
0:19:40 > 0:19:43left home when she was just three months old.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48But now, just two days after sending a letter to the man they think
0:19:48 > 0:19:49may be Claire's father,
0:19:49 > 0:19:52a family finding agency has received a phone call.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57I spoke with him, asked if he believed that the letter,
0:19:57 > 0:20:00the details related to him. He confirmed that they did.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02I asked him if he'd ever been married,
0:20:02 > 0:20:05he confirmed the name of the person that he'd been married to,
0:20:05 > 0:20:07which was Claire's mum, so I knew that we definitely had
0:20:07 > 0:20:09the right person.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12Once I told George that it was his daughter Claire
0:20:12 > 0:20:14who was trying to find him, he was really shocked.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17But he did say that he was pleased,
0:20:17 > 0:20:21and one of the first things he said to me was that he thinks
0:20:21 > 0:20:24it's something he should have done himself a long time ago.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27I was away on holiday when Dave from FinderMonkey phoned me.
0:20:28 > 0:20:32He said to me, "Claire we've made contact with the George Saville."
0:20:32 > 0:20:35And I said, "Yes." And he went through a few more details.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37And he said,
0:20:37 > 0:20:40"He is your dad and he knows exactly who you are
0:20:40 > 0:20:42"and he wants to see you."
0:20:43 > 0:20:45I just burst into tears.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47I know the day that Claire actually got the phone call
0:20:47 > 0:20:51to say that you had found him was a really emotional day for Claire
0:20:51 > 0:20:54but I, kind of, felt numb, I didn't really know whether to be happy,
0:20:54 > 0:20:57sad, indifferent. I just...just didn't know.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59There was definitely a part of me that thought
0:20:59 > 0:21:01he won't want to be in touch,
0:21:01 > 0:21:04you know, he's not got in touch previously.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07And then there's that whole fear of rejection.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10But equally, I thought, well, maybe it was his fear of rejection
0:21:10 > 0:21:14that he hadn't made the time to get in touch with us.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18Sarah's mixed emotions and unanswered questions remain.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22But for Claire, it'll be the first time she's ever seen her dad.
0:21:23 > 0:21:27I've not even thought about what he's going to look like,
0:21:27 > 0:21:30what he's going to sound like or anything like that
0:21:30 > 0:21:32until Sarah discussed it with me the day and said,
0:21:32 > 0:21:35"Oh, you know he's got a really northern accent, don't you?"
0:21:35 > 0:21:38And I was like, "Well, no, I don't even know."
0:21:38 > 0:21:42He's, kind of, the man without a voice and a face to me.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44I'm not saying that there won't be a few tears off me,
0:21:44 > 0:21:45but, I think, for Claire,
0:21:45 > 0:21:50actually physically seeing her dad for the very first time
0:21:50 > 0:21:53is just going to probably blow her away to be honest.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56Sarah's always said to me growing up, "You're just like Dad,
0:21:56 > 0:21:58"you're just like Dad.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01"You really look like him." So,
0:22:01 > 0:22:06you know, for me to actually meet him and see whether I do look like him
0:22:06 > 0:22:08will be very interesting.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Over 100 miles to the north,
0:22:10 > 0:22:13the arrival of the letter from the Family Finders
0:22:13 > 0:22:16was the first news George had had of his daughters
0:22:16 > 0:22:18in nearly three decades.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21One morning, I had a letter through the post,
0:22:21 > 0:22:25and it was handwritten.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28So, when I opened it up, it was a letter from a company
0:22:28 > 0:22:29called FinderMonkey.
0:22:29 > 0:22:35And it basically said, "We are trying to trace a person
0:22:35 > 0:22:42"called George Saville, who was born in 1952.
0:22:42 > 0:22:47"He has a sister called Susan and a brother called John."
0:22:47 > 0:22:50And so you think, "That's me."
0:22:50 > 0:22:53For George, the letter was a bridge to a past
0:22:53 > 0:22:55he thought he'd lost forever.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59I met Sarah and Claire's mother in a nightclub
0:22:59 > 0:23:03in the centre of Birmingham called the Dolce Vita.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05I remember it well, yeah.
0:23:05 > 0:23:10We got married in 19..71
0:23:10 > 0:23:14and then Sarah came not long after that.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17And then, obviously, Claire came along after, yeah.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21When the girls were growing up in Birmingham,
0:23:21 > 0:23:23George was a young policeman.
0:23:23 > 0:23:27At that time, it was a really good job.
0:23:28 > 0:23:33There was a good camaraderie between the guys.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36But the nature of the job meant George wasn't around for his family
0:23:36 > 0:23:38as much as he would have liked.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41Obviously, being in the police, I worked shifts,
0:23:41 > 0:23:45so it was... That was difficult because you're...
0:23:45 > 0:23:49here, there and... You know, it wasn't really stable,
0:23:49 > 0:23:54it was up and down and not there on a sort of regular basis.
0:23:54 > 0:24:00Unfortunately, yeah, we had a break-up,
0:24:00 > 0:24:04erm, and I decided that...
0:24:06 > 0:24:10..I wanted to leave Birmingham, I wanted to go back to...
0:24:10 > 0:24:12back up to Bradford where I came from.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17Claire was only a young baby
0:24:17 > 0:24:22and maybe Sarah was probably about six years old at the time, yeah.
0:24:22 > 0:24:26So, yeah, very traumatic time and sad and...
0:24:27 > 0:24:29But...
0:24:30 > 0:24:33I couldn't...I didn't get on with the mother.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36Things weren't very good at home.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Having remarried and relocated to Bradford, in Yorkshire,
0:24:39 > 0:24:42it became difficult for George to include the offspring
0:24:42 > 0:24:45of a troubled marriage he wanted to forget.
0:24:45 > 0:24:46I was...
0:24:48 > 0:24:49..quite selfish...
0:24:50 > 0:24:52..you know?
0:24:52 > 0:24:53I think, yeah, you...
0:24:55 > 0:24:58..put the past behind you.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01And I'd got another wife.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05And I've often thought that...
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Yeah, I should have been the one to get in touch.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Missed a lot, I missed so much.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24And they have as well, yeah.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29It's only when you start to reflect as an adult
0:25:29 > 0:25:32of all the things that he should have been there for
0:25:32 > 0:25:35that you realise the impact of him not being there.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37I've always been quite a strong person, so I've always been,
0:25:37 > 0:25:39"Well, I don't need him for anything.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42"He's never been there, so it doesn't really matter."
0:25:42 > 0:25:44But the older I get and the more I look at things and think,
0:25:44 > 0:25:46"Well, he wasn't there when I got married,
0:25:46 > 0:25:48"he wasn't there at my graduation,
0:25:48 > 0:25:51"he wasn't there at the boys' christenings," you know,
0:25:51 > 0:25:54that kind of thing, you start to realise then that, actually,
0:25:54 > 0:25:57yes, I've missed out on having him around,
0:25:57 > 0:26:00but he's missed out on loads by not being here.
0:26:04 > 0:26:08Everybody has missed an awful lot, everybody.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Yeah, both families.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14It could have been...
0:26:14 > 0:26:16a lot different, a lot better, yeah.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24So many special family moments may have been missed,
0:26:24 > 0:26:26but now it's time to make new memories.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34Today, Sarah and Claire are on their way to see a father
0:26:34 > 0:26:37who hasn't been part of their lives for 33 years.
0:26:37 > 0:26:38Thank you.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42With such a momentous reunion, inevitably there are mixed emotions
0:26:42 > 0:26:45and thoughts swirling around their heads.
0:26:45 > 0:26:50For me, initially, it's...how does Dad look now?
0:26:50 > 0:26:52You know, do I remember him, are my memories as good
0:26:52 > 0:26:54as I think they are?
0:26:54 > 0:26:57For me, just meeting him.
0:26:57 > 0:27:01The biggest thing for me now is just to actually meet my dad properly
0:27:01 > 0:27:03for the first time, knowing who he is,
0:27:03 > 0:27:09knowing that he's my dad and seeing if we can build from this.
0:27:09 > 0:27:15There's an awful lot to catch up with from my side and theirs, so...
0:27:17 > 0:27:21..be just good to find out how things are at the moment...
0:27:23 > 0:27:27..and then slowly go back,
0:27:27 > 0:27:28go back in time...
0:27:29 > 0:27:33..and...yeah, learn all about them
0:27:33 > 0:27:37and what their lives have been like.
0:27:37 > 0:27:41For you, I think, with the rejection -
0:27:41 > 0:27:43when you wrote the letter - that you felt then,
0:27:43 > 0:27:46I know that it hurt you at that point.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48For whatever reason, he didn't get back to you.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51And I think for you, you put it to bed then.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54Yeah, I did. I absolutely did.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57- And I think that's what I thought the result would be...- Yeah.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59..when you said that they had found him.
0:27:59 > 0:28:03- I thought we were going to have the same thing again.- Yeah.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05It's...
0:28:05 > 0:28:09Yeah, it's quite a big call to realise the fact that,
0:28:09 > 0:28:12yeah, I've got two daughters, I've always known about them...
0:28:14 > 0:28:18..but now I've got three grandchildren
0:28:18 > 0:28:23and two son-in-law, two son-in-laws
0:28:23 > 0:28:29all...all to get to know, if...if they want to know me.
0:28:32 > 0:28:35George and his daughters are just minutes away
0:28:35 > 0:28:38from fixing three decades of absence and heartache.
0:28:39 > 0:28:43I am extremely nervous, you know,
0:28:43 > 0:28:46I admit that. I'm just...
0:28:48 > 0:28:51I don't know what to expect and... Yeah.
0:28:54 > 0:28:57But I'm looking forward to it, I'm sure it's going to be
0:28:57 > 0:28:59really positive, yeah.
0:29:00 > 0:29:05- We've got each other.- We have.- And we both have the same feelings.- Yeah.
0:29:10 > 0:29:12Oh, dear me, here we go.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18Have a deep breath.
0:29:20 > 0:29:23I've gone all hot.
0:29:23 > 0:29:25With just moments to go to the reunion,
0:29:25 > 0:29:29soon Claire and Sarah will see their father again.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32Understandably, feelings are running high.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39CLAIRE CRIES SOFTLY
0:29:39 > 0:29:40It's all right, don't worry.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52CLAIRE SOBS
0:30:00 > 0:30:04So emotional. I always knew that I'd know them,
0:30:04 > 0:30:09I knew that I'd recognise them again, even after all that time.
0:30:11 > 0:30:14- Hello, Dad. You all right?- Come on.
0:30:15 > 0:30:18- It's really good to see you. - Hm, yeah.
0:30:18 > 0:30:20- I'm crying all over you. - It doesn't matter.
0:30:20 > 0:30:23I tried to keep it together, but I failed miserably.
0:30:23 > 0:30:27But I'm just so happy to finally see him and know what he looks like.
0:30:27 > 0:30:32- Yeah, it's good to see you. - And you, yeah.- It's really good.
0:30:32 > 0:30:33Yeah, both of you.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37Oh, dear.
0:30:37 > 0:30:38- It's been too long.- Too long.
0:30:38 > 0:30:41I was really worried that he wouldn't be anything like
0:30:41 > 0:30:44I remembered, but instantly, the minute he walked through the door,
0:30:44 > 0:30:46I thought, "Yes, I'd know him anywhere."
0:30:46 > 0:30:51For George, this isn't just a reunion but a chance to explain.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53I left it far too long.
0:30:53 > 0:30:57There's still time though, Dad. There's still plenty of time.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01- There's always time.- Hm.
0:31:02 > 0:31:05You're very forgiving.
0:31:05 > 0:31:06Yeah.
0:31:06 > 0:31:09It is heartbreaking when your own father says, you know,
0:31:09 > 0:31:10that he feels guilty about it.
0:31:10 > 0:31:14I don't think anybody should feel guilty in this situation.
0:31:14 > 0:31:17It's quite difficult when you...
0:31:17 > 0:31:19you start something new.
0:31:19 > 0:31:23You know, other people you try and keep them happy and...
0:31:25 > 0:31:28..really you shouldn't, you should just do your own thing.
0:31:29 > 0:31:33- I'm not trying to blame anybody else.- No, no.
0:31:33 > 0:31:35It's always been down to me.
0:31:35 > 0:31:37When you think back, you just think, you know,
0:31:37 > 0:31:40"I should have done things differently."
0:31:40 > 0:31:44When he's telling us how bad he felt about how things turned out
0:31:44 > 0:31:48and the fact that he wasn't here for whatever reason,
0:31:48 > 0:31:53I just felt really, really sad for him that he felt like that.
0:31:53 > 0:31:57You know, I'm not angry with him at all, just happy that he's here now.
0:31:57 > 0:32:01And I think probably now is the right time for him to be in our lives.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04Sarah wants to ask her dad about the letter she wrote to him
0:32:04 > 0:32:07when she was 15.
0:32:07 > 0:32:09Did Nan ever tell you that I tried to contact you
0:32:09 > 0:32:10when I was a teenager?
0:32:12 > 0:32:15- No.- No, I didn't think the message had got through.
0:32:15 > 0:32:18- No.- I spoke to her on the phone and asked her...
0:32:18 > 0:32:19- Really?- ..if you would ring me.
0:32:19 > 0:32:21- Really?- Yeah.
0:32:21 > 0:32:24And then I sent you a letter to Nan's address.
0:32:29 > 0:32:33Maybe she just thought it was better that, you know, it stayed as it was.
0:32:34 > 0:32:39Sarah, when she was a teenager, she did make a phone call
0:32:39 > 0:32:42and did write a letter to my mother...
0:32:45 > 0:32:47I didn't know anything about it,
0:32:47 > 0:32:49so maybe...
0:32:50 > 0:32:55I don't know, maybe my mother was trying to protect me
0:32:55 > 0:32:58for some reason or other, I've no idea,
0:32:58 > 0:33:01but I...I never saw the letter.
0:33:01 > 0:33:06Yeah, my mother unfortunately was her own character and very strong.
0:33:06 > 0:33:09And I realise that, obviously, he never got the letter,
0:33:09 > 0:33:13he wasn't told that I'd called, by my nan.
0:33:13 > 0:33:16Obviously, she had her reasons, I'll never know what they are.
0:33:16 > 0:33:18But...
0:33:18 > 0:33:21Relief as well because it means that he just didn't
0:33:21 > 0:33:23reject me out of hand, which I thought he had done
0:33:23 > 0:33:25for all these years.
0:33:25 > 0:33:29I've gained so much in such a short space of time.
0:33:32 > 0:33:34Yeah, you don't know how much it means.
0:33:36 > 0:33:40What a fool I've been. And I've missed out on so much,
0:33:40 > 0:33:42but hopefully from now on...
0:33:44 > 0:33:46..we'll have a great relationship,
0:33:46 > 0:33:52er, and they've got their dad back and I've got my two daughters back.
0:33:52 > 0:33:55I'm just so, so happy about it.
0:34:00 > 0:34:04- It's good to see your face again. - And yours.- I've missed you.
0:34:04 > 0:34:08And I've missed you too, an awful lot.
0:34:08 > 0:34:12They've all missed out on so many significant moments over the years.
0:34:13 > 0:34:17But thanks to the Family Finders, George, Claire and Sarah
0:34:17 > 0:34:20can now look forward to sharing the rest of their lives together.
0:34:30 > 0:34:33In Newcastle, Ray Martin and his son, Alan,
0:34:33 > 0:34:37are finally close to a breakthrough in their search for Ray's mother.
0:34:38 > 0:34:42All they needed to do was see if her signature on a marriage certificate
0:34:42 > 0:34:45matched the one on Ray's adoption papers.
0:34:45 > 0:34:47The marriage certificate came back.
0:34:47 > 0:34:50Comparing the signature of what was on the marriage certificate
0:34:50 > 0:34:53to the adoption paper, was exactly the same.
0:34:53 > 0:34:57And that was like the eureka moment. It was like, "Yes, finally!"
0:34:57 > 0:35:00And from that marriage certificate we have her date of birth...
0:35:00 > 0:35:04And just, you know, it was...it was incredible.
0:35:04 > 0:35:08But the joy was mixed with sadness as Ray soon discovered
0:35:08 > 0:35:11that his birth mother, Maureen, had died 20 years earlier.
0:35:11 > 0:35:15You tend to feel a bit down on that one
0:35:15 > 0:35:18because they're the people which you would like to ask questions to
0:35:18 > 0:35:21because of what happened in the past.
0:35:21 > 0:35:23But, yeah, you know, that was a...
0:35:23 > 0:35:25That was the downer on that side.
0:35:25 > 0:35:29But while the news of his mother's death was a huge disappointment,
0:35:29 > 0:35:33Ray also discovered that he has lots of new siblings.
0:35:33 > 0:35:37I never forget the day when the social worker told me,
0:35:37 > 0:35:41she said, "I've got some good news for you." And I says, "Yeah?"
0:35:41 > 0:35:45She said, "Yeah, I've just managed to track one of your sisters down."
0:35:45 > 0:35:48I said, "What?" She said, "Yeah." She said, "I've been speaking to her,
0:35:48 > 0:35:51"and she's excited...she's excited as well."
0:35:51 > 0:35:54And she said, "It's not just one or two,
0:35:54 > 0:35:55"there's six of yous in total."
0:35:55 > 0:35:58I was gobsmacked.
0:35:58 > 0:36:00And she said, "Are you all right?" She said, "You're not driving?"
0:36:00 > 0:36:03I said, "No, I'm not driving, I'm parked up
0:36:03 > 0:36:05"but if I was driving, I probably would have shot through
0:36:05 > 0:36:08"this lady's hedge and straight in and sitting in her own living room
0:36:08 > 0:36:09"with me car."
0:36:09 > 0:36:11It was now down to Ray to pick up the phone
0:36:11 > 0:36:16and talk to one of the five brothers and sisters he never knew he had.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19So, I was round Alan's and I said, "Right."
0:36:19 > 0:36:21And I just sat there for a few minutes and everybody's going...
0:36:21 > 0:36:23They were excited, they were going,
0:36:23 > 0:36:26"Are you going to make this phone call? Come on, are you going...?"
0:36:26 > 0:36:28I said, "Yes, I'm going to make the phone call, don't worry."
0:36:28 > 0:36:31And I do believe at the time Alan went into the cupboard
0:36:31 > 0:36:33and got a small glass of whiskey.
0:36:33 > 0:36:36He said, "That's just to calm your nerves." I said, "I'm fine."
0:36:36 > 0:36:40And the thing about it is, I was fine with it.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43Picked the phone up, I was sitting on the table in the kitchen there.
0:36:43 > 0:36:47I rang it up and they were looking like this, you know. I said, "Hello?"
0:36:47 > 0:36:50I says, "Is that you, Sylvia?"
0:36:50 > 0:36:52She said, "Yeah." "It's Ray." "Ohhh!"
0:36:52 > 0:36:55You can imagine what it was like, she was ecstatic.
0:36:55 > 0:36:57It was lovely, you know what I mean?
0:36:57 > 0:37:00And we talked on that phone like we've known each other for years.
0:37:00 > 0:37:04It must have been about an hour or so, or a bit more.
0:37:04 > 0:37:08We didn't bother about what the phone bill was, it's just...
0:37:08 > 0:37:10It was brilliant, it was fantastic.
0:37:10 > 0:37:14For Ray, this was another unexpected turning point in his life.
0:37:14 > 0:37:18Out of the blue, a whole new group of brothers and sisters.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21Ray's met his new siblings already,
0:37:21 > 0:37:24but today he's made the trip up to Newcastle
0:37:24 > 0:37:27to see them all for a very special occasion.
0:37:29 > 0:37:31Oh, Hi, Richard, you all right?
0:37:32 > 0:37:36Happily, the news they had another brother has been welcomed warmly
0:37:36 > 0:37:38by all of Ray's new siblings.
0:37:41 > 0:37:46We're just shocked, we were just happy, we was everything together.
0:37:48 > 0:37:51It was amazing, really amazing.
0:37:51 > 0:37:53Hello, how are you?
0:37:55 > 0:37:5850...50-odd years is a long time.
0:37:58 > 0:38:0253, 54 years not seeing your brother for all them years.
0:38:02 > 0:38:06Richard used to always say, "One day he will be back in the family."
0:38:08 > 0:38:11Ray may never have met his mother, but his brother always knew
0:38:11 > 0:38:14how she felt about putting Ray up for adoption
0:38:14 > 0:38:16at just three months old.
0:38:17 > 0:38:19Raymond was actually sent off
0:38:19 > 0:38:23to one of me mum's best friends
0:38:23 > 0:38:26because at the time me mum couldn't actually...
0:38:26 > 0:38:28It wasn't so much she couldn't afford to look after him,
0:38:28 > 0:38:31it was just that ill health was preventing things.
0:38:31 > 0:38:36And Ray actually went to Violet's, which was my mum's best friend.
0:38:36 > 0:38:40And, obviously, it was a hard thing for my mum to do,
0:38:40 > 0:38:44by letting Violet keep him.
0:38:44 > 0:38:48And, obviously, it's hard for any mother to let...
0:38:49 > 0:38:51..their kids go.
0:38:51 > 0:38:55Violet couldn't have kids of her own
0:38:55 > 0:38:58and she got attached to our Raymond when he was little.
0:38:58 > 0:39:02And, obviously, from there...from then on, I never seen Ray.
0:39:04 > 0:39:08Ray's mother had contracted tuberculosis, or TB,
0:39:08 > 0:39:11a disease which affects the lungs and respiratory system.
0:39:12 > 0:39:16Highly contagious, TB for years had been one of the main causes of death
0:39:16 > 0:39:18in Britain.
0:39:18 > 0:39:21And even at the time of Ray's birth, in 1957,
0:39:21 > 0:39:24it killed nearly 5,000 people a year.
0:39:26 > 0:39:30In the late 1950s, there were various cures and vaccines
0:39:30 > 0:39:34in development. But at this time, the NHS was only eight years old
0:39:34 > 0:39:38and the welfare state still in its infancy.
0:39:38 > 0:39:40One of the most common treatments,
0:39:40 > 0:39:43especially in poorer parts of the UK,
0:39:43 > 0:39:47was to be taken to a sanatorium, which was sometimes run by nuns.
0:39:47 > 0:39:50These places of rest were often in the countryside,
0:39:50 > 0:39:54where fresh air and relaxation were the order of the day.
0:39:54 > 0:39:57If this treatment didn't work, there were various surgical procedures
0:39:57 > 0:40:01available to attempt to remove the infection from a patient's lungs.
0:40:02 > 0:40:06While his mother was in the sanatorium, a three-month-old Ray
0:40:06 > 0:40:09and his brothers were looked after by friends.
0:40:09 > 0:40:13And then, feeling unable to cope with a young baby while in recovery,
0:40:13 > 0:40:15his mother gave him up for adoption.
0:40:15 > 0:40:18It wasn't by choice that my mum wanted to do it,
0:40:18 > 0:40:23but she had a hard decision to make, and she made it.
0:40:24 > 0:40:26She did regret it the rest of her life,
0:40:26 > 0:40:29cos, obviously, she had Ray on her mind,
0:40:29 > 0:40:31she had the other kids on her mind.
0:40:31 > 0:40:33And as time went past...
0:40:34 > 0:40:38..she still, she had crying sessions at weekends
0:40:38 > 0:40:41and days through the week, things like that.
0:40:41 > 0:40:44At the end of the day, whose mother wouldn't?
0:40:47 > 0:40:50Ray's oldest brother, Jim, died in a motorcycle accident
0:40:50 > 0:40:52when he was in his 30s.
0:40:54 > 0:40:57And only months after Ray's reunion with his family,
0:40:57 > 0:41:00a second brother, Brian, died of a heart attack.
0:41:02 > 0:41:04Sometimes, discovering a whole new family
0:41:04 > 0:41:07means having to say goodbye to some of them.
0:41:07 > 0:41:12And today, Ray and his remaining brother, Richie, are planting a tree
0:41:12 > 0:41:15in Brian's memory in the front garden of his house
0:41:15 > 0:41:17where his widow Bev still lives.
0:41:20 > 0:41:21I think that should be all right.
0:41:31 > 0:41:32That's for you, son.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37Yeah, I think we've done a good job there.
0:41:41 > 0:41:42There you go, Bev.
0:41:44 > 0:41:46That's for you, so...
0:41:48 > 0:41:51..when the times you come out in the morning, you can...
0:41:51 > 0:41:55look at the tree and, as we know, Brian used to look out the window,
0:41:55 > 0:41:58so I think this was an appropriate thing.
0:41:58 > 0:42:01The right tree, the right place...
0:42:01 > 0:42:03- For the guy.- For a nice guy.
0:42:03 > 0:42:06We all know who he is, we're all family.
0:42:06 > 0:42:08- And, Bev...it's all yours. - Thank you.
0:42:09 > 0:42:10All right.
0:42:22 > 0:42:25You know, I think it's a good tribute.
0:42:25 > 0:42:27A good tribute to...
0:42:27 > 0:42:30I mean, we lost other members of the family as well.
0:42:30 > 0:42:34Unfortunately, I couldn't be there to see Mam, Dad, James.
0:42:35 > 0:42:39I saw Brian for a certain length of time.
0:42:39 > 0:42:42But I think, overall,
0:42:42 > 0:42:45erm, we started the journey...
0:42:45 > 0:42:47and I think now...
0:42:47 > 0:42:49we've got the end of the journey.
0:42:49 > 0:42:51I got what I wanted.
0:42:51 > 0:42:53It's been hard in more ways than one.
0:42:53 > 0:42:55And all I hope
0:42:55 > 0:43:00that, if this helps others to find their siblings,
0:43:00 > 0:43:03their family, then...
0:43:04 > 0:43:08..for me, it's sweet, absolutely sweet.