Episode 7

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04Families can be driven apart for all manner of reasons.

0:00:04 > 0:00:07My mum went away and didn't come back.

0:00:07 > 0:00:10And when you do lose touch with your loved ones...

0:00:10 > 0:00:12I never saw Kathleen again.

0:00:12 > 0:00:14..finding them can take a lifetime...

0:00:14 > 0:00:17I wonder where he is, I wonder what he's doing.

0:00:17 > 0:00:19You don't really know where to begin.

0:00:19 > 0:00:23..especially when they could be anywhere, at home or abroad.

0:00:25 > 0:00:28And that's where the Family Finders come in.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31Hi, it's the Salvation Army Family Tracing Service.

0:00:31 > 0:00:33From international organisations...

0:00:33 > 0:00:37There's never been a day when we have never had new inquiries.

0:00:37 > 0:00:40..to genealogy detective agencies...

0:00:40 > 0:00:42When is it you last had contact with him?

0:00:42 > 0:00:44..and dedicated one-man bands...

0:00:44 > 0:00:47I like to do the searches other people can't get

0:00:47 > 0:00:48because it makes me feel good.

0:00:48 > 0:00:51..they hunt through history

0:00:51 > 0:00:54to bring families back together again.

0:00:54 > 0:00:56You are my biological dad.

0:00:56 > 0:00:59In this series, we follow the work of the Family Finders.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02This case came from our Australian colleagues.

0:01:02 > 0:01:04Learning the tricks they use to track

0:01:04 > 0:01:06missing relatives through time...

0:01:06 > 0:01:10I'm 68 years of age, she's 75 years of age and we're just starting off!

0:01:10 > 0:01:14..and meeting the people whose lives they change along the way.

0:01:14 > 0:01:16I said, "Well, this is your younger sister."

0:01:16 > 0:01:18It's a miracle!

0:01:18 > 0:01:21I was struck speechless and I couldn't stop crying.

0:01:21 > 0:01:23It's a proud moment...for Dad.

0:01:23 > 0:01:26That was the start of finding my family.

0:01:33 > 0:01:36Every year, thousands of people across the UK

0:01:36 > 0:01:39begin searching for their families.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42And just occasionally, they find out that while they're

0:01:42 > 0:01:47looking for their relatives, those same relatives are looking for them.

0:01:47 > 0:01:50That's what happened to 65-year-old Mark Kerr,

0:01:50 > 0:01:52who was desperate to find his father,

0:01:52 > 0:01:55but a stroke of luck led him to someone just as interesting.

0:01:55 > 0:01:59Mark was born to a single mother in Paddington, West London,

0:01:59 > 0:02:02four years after the end of World War II.

0:02:02 > 0:02:0625th of December, 1949. A Christmas Day baby.

0:02:06 > 0:02:09My dad wasn't about at the time, I suppose, and...

0:02:09 > 0:02:12But like I said, back then, it was...

0:02:12 > 0:02:16You didn't keep children out of wedlock. You was pushed away.

0:02:16 > 0:02:18As a very young boy,

0:02:18 > 0:02:21Mark was sent to the Maybourne Children's Home in Sydenham.

0:02:21 > 0:02:25It wasn't an orphanage as such because we all had parents,

0:02:25 > 0:02:28so I suppose it was a children's home where children was put because their

0:02:28 > 0:02:32mums and dads weren't in a position to look after them at the time.

0:02:32 > 0:02:35You hear so many stories back in the '50s and '60s,

0:02:35 > 0:02:38but I consider myself pretty lucky to have ended up in that house.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41Reluctant to completely give him up to the care system,

0:02:41 > 0:02:45Mark's parents, Solly and Peggy, used to visit him regularly.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47So every second week, my mum would come

0:02:47 > 0:02:51and she'd bring a big food parcel and sweets and comics.

0:02:51 > 0:02:55My dad used to come and see me every second Tuesday

0:02:55 > 0:02:59and I distinctly remember sitting on these massive great steps outside

0:02:59 > 0:03:04and sometimes, he didn't turn up and I used to get so upset, I really did.

0:03:04 > 0:03:06It was heartbreaking, it really was,

0:03:06 > 0:03:09because you look forward to this every second week.

0:03:09 > 0:03:14Mark's dad slowly faded from his life and then, aged around ten,

0:03:14 > 0:03:18he went back to live with his mum and her new partner.

0:03:18 > 0:03:22He was a hard taskmaster, he really was. He didn't like me...

0:03:22 > 0:03:25and he made known he didn't like me.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28And he... The belt would come off and he, you know...

0:03:28 > 0:03:30I was very weary of him.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33Mum picked a bad one there.

0:03:33 > 0:03:36And that's when I think I went off the straight and narrow.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38It's just that I used to be in the wrong place at the wrong time,

0:03:38 > 0:03:42got in with the wrong crowd and I think we was caught breaking

0:03:42 > 0:03:45and entering into a shop, and, of course, back in them days,

0:03:45 > 0:03:49when you got caught, you didn't get no second chances.

0:03:49 > 0:03:53I remember sitting in the cell and literally cried to my mum,

0:03:53 > 0:03:55"Get me out of here, get me out!"

0:03:55 > 0:03:59And I knew I was going to borstal. I knew I was going away for...

0:03:59 > 0:04:03I was sentenced for three years, but I think I only did about 18 months

0:04:03 > 0:04:05because I must have just knuckled in, done my time and come out.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07By the time of his release,

0:04:07 > 0:04:11Mark's mum had set up home with another man, Bob.

0:04:11 > 0:04:13He was a lovely chap. He idolised her.

0:04:13 > 0:04:17He really thought the world of her. Treated me very, very well.

0:04:17 > 0:04:21Never once raised a hand, once took his belt off.

0:04:21 > 0:04:24He used to run a butcher's shop down the Harrow Road.

0:04:24 > 0:04:26And I remember moving in there

0:04:26 > 0:04:28and I must have gone to school for about a year,

0:04:28 > 0:04:30but then I went down into the butcher's shop

0:04:30 > 0:04:32working in the butcher's shop. I was only about 14 or 15,

0:04:32 > 0:04:35because back then, you left school fairly young.

0:04:35 > 0:04:37And I enjoyed it. I loved the butcher's shop.

0:04:37 > 0:04:42But then, tragedy struck the new family unit.

0:04:42 > 0:04:46Unfortunately, then, just as things was going on, Mum got meningitis,

0:04:46 > 0:04:51I think it was, yeah, meningitis, rushed to hospital and passed on.

0:04:51 > 0:04:55When my mum died, I would have been 16, 17.

0:04:55 > 0:04:57I think Bob took it fairly bad.

0:04:57 > 0:04:59He just threw himself into his work.

0:04:59 > 0:05:02We plodded on for a couple of months and I just said to him one day,

0:05:02 > 0:05:06"Oh, I've been down Oxford, I'm joining the Army."

0:05:06 > 0:05:09But Mark continued to see Bob when he could.

0:05:09 > 0:05:13I went to see him a few times when I was on leave from the Army

0:05:13 > 0:05:15because I didn't have no family, as such.

0:05:15 > 0:05:19And then, unfortunately, we drifted apart.

0:05:19 > 0:05:22Christmas times and Easter and stuff like that,

0:05:22 > 0:05:24when all the other chaps, all of them going to their mums and dads,

0:05:24 > 0:05:26brothers, sisters,

0:05:26 > 0:05:29I used to volunteer and do the guard duty for them.

0:05:29 > 0:05:33Yearning for a sense of family, Mark decided to trace his

0:05:33 > 0:05:35biological father, Solly Levene,

0:05:35 > 0:05:38whose details he had on his birth certificate.

0:05:38 > 0:05:43Like I say, I was born on the 25th of December, 1949, Mark Joseph.

0:05:44 > 0:05:49Father, Solly Levene, a taxi driver working out of London Bridge.

0:05:49 > 0:05:53I remember Solly used to come and see me every other Tuesday at Maybourne.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56He used to come up in a Vauxhall VX4/90.

0:05:56 > 0:06:00We used to go out and about, sometimes to the cinema,

0:06:00 > 0:06:02sometimes down to the Crystal Palace.

0:06:02 > 0:06:05Crystal Palace Park was just down the road from us at Maybourne.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07I remember him, he was always a very smart chap.

0:06:07 > 0:06:11Always wore a collar and tie, black hair, Brylcreem.

0:06:11 > 0:06:15And, you know, unfortunately, I'm sorry I lost touch with him.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17I never asked Mum about Solly.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20I never asked her about my dad and she very rarely spoke of him.

0:06:20 > 0:06:24Because whenever I used to see him, I used to see my dad separate

0:06:24 > 0:06:28and my mum separate, so I would assume there was a bit of

0:06:28 > 0:06:31ill-feeling between the two of them, that I'd never see them together.

0:06:33 > 0:06:35I did try and trace him in the Army.

0:06:35 > 0:06:37There was a family liaison officer,

0:06:37 > 0:06:40he heard about my family and everything.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43Thanks to all the information Mark had on his father,

0:06:43 > 0:06:47it didn't take the Army family liaison officer long to trace him.

0:06:47 > 0:06:52But the moment of first contact didn't go quite as Mark had hoped.

0:06:52 > 0:06:55He gave me a telephone with a phone number, I dialled the number,

0:06:55 > 0:06:58a lady answered, "Oh, hello, can I speak to Solly, please?"

0:06:58 > 0:07:01"Yes, who's talking?" And I said, "It's Mark."

0:07:01 > 0:07:03And she was insistent. "Just Mark, his son."

0:07:03 > 0:07:05Phone went dead.

0:07:06 > 0:07:09Because back in them days, when a phone went dead, it was dead.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11There was none of this, "Ooh, I've lost you, I've lost you,

0:07:11 > 0:07:14"where are you?" It was dead, that was the end of it.

0:07:14 > 0:07:17Rejected, Mark gave up hope of tracing any family.

0:07:17 > 0:07:21But little did he know, someone else was looking for him.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31Every year, more and more people set about trying to find

0:07:31 > 0:07:34family members they've lost contact with.

0:07:34 > 0:07:38Numerous organisations are now available to help

0:07:38 > 0:07:41this difficult and sensitive process.

0:07:41 > 0:07:44After 30 years in the police force, Antony Marr set up

0:07:44 > 0:07:49a genealogy consultancy helping families reunite across the country.

0:07:51 > 0:07:54Many people come to Antony after attempting

0:07:54 > 0:07:56a search on their own without success.

0:07:56 > 0:07:59So a lot of people get so far and get stuck and get frustrated,

0:07:59 > 0:08:02and we try and help them and get past that point, and show them

0:08:02 > 0:08:04where they might want to go and look next.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09One person who sought Antony's help

0:08:09 > 0:08:13is 72-year-old Wendy Brightwell from Buckinghamshire.

0:08:13 > 0:08:19I wanted to find out more about my dad, that was the paramount thing.

0:08:19 > 0:08:24Wendy grew up in Middlesex with her brother Rod and sister Margaret,

0:08:24 > 0:08:26but theirs was an unusual family set-up

0:08:26 > 0:08:30because, as well as Dad, there were two ladies of the household.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33My mum had the job, when she was a teenager,

0:08:33 > 0:08:37of going to the dairy to get the milk and, of course,

0:08:37 > 0:08:41she used to get the milk in a churn, and my father worked in the dairy.

0:08:42 > 0:08:46Before Wendy was born, her family relocated

0:08:46 > 0:08:48and her father invited her mother to come with them

0:08:48 > 0:08:53and work as a nanny to the children he already had, Rod and Margaret.

0:08:53 > 0:08:58When they decided to move away to Hayes,

0:08:58 > 0:09:02I understand that my mother went with them.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05Because by this time, she was like a baby-sitter, so...

0:09:05 > 0:09:10And I think she was about... I think she was in her early 20s.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12But it was soon clear that Wendy's mother

0:09:12 > 0:09:14was more than just a baby-sitter.

0:09:15 > 0:09:20So by 1942, I arrived on the scene.

0:09:20 > 0:09:24Despite already being married to a woman called Lil, Wendy's father

0:09:24 > 0:09:29suggested that the young Wendy and her mother join the family home.

0:09:29 > 0:09:34As far as I remember, basically, we all lived together.

0:09:34 > 0:09:36I do remember...

0:09:39 > 0:09:43It was wartime. Rodney and Margaret and myself,

0:09:43 > 0:09:48we all lived with my mother, my father and Auntie Lil.

0:09:48 > 0:09:53My Auntie Lil was obviously the mother of Rodney and Margret

0:09:53 > 0:09:56and, really, my father's wife,

0:09:56 > 0:09:59but I've always called her Auntie Lil.

0:09:59 > 0:10:03Despite the unusual arrangement of one father and two mothers,

0:10:03 > 0:10:05things seemed to work.

0:10:05 > 0:10:08We lived very happily together

0:10:08 > 0:10:12and I never really thought anything about it,

0:10:12 > 0:10:15and I don't think Rod did either, or Margaret.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17I mean, we just lived as one big family.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20For Rod and me, it was almost like having two mums

0:10:20 > 0:10:23because they looked after both of us.

0:10:27 > 0:10:30Wendy's father passed away when she was just nine,

0:10:30 > 0:10:34after which, the unconventional arrangement broke down.

0:10:34 > 0:10:37Obviously, with my father not there, then, you know,

0:10:37 > 0:10:41my mother had to then find something to just look after me,

0:10:41 > 0:10:46so she moved to a place in Harrow, near Harrow, a place called Kenton.

0:10:46 > 0:10:50It was at this point Wendy lost contact with Rodney and Margaret.

0:10:50 > 0:10:54There was no way, really, that we could keep in touch

0:10:54 > 0:10:59because people didn't have telephones, you know,

0:10:59 > 0:11:03no Internet or anything, no mobiles or anything like that.

0:11:03 > 0:11:06It wasn't until Wendy was a little more grown-up that she

0:11:06 > 0:11:09realised just how unusual her family make-up had been

0:11:09 > 0:11:12and it came as a real shock to her.

0:11:12 > 0:11:16When I got to about...probably about 10, 11,

0:11:16 > 0:11:19it suddenly occurred... I mean, my dad had died by them.

0:11:19 > 0:11:23And it suddenly occurred to me that I didn't have the same surname.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26And up till then, it hadn't twigged that

0:11:26 > 0:11:32I wasn't actually a legitimate child, you know.

0:11:32 > 0:11:36And it always felt like a bit of a...a stigma, really.

0:11:36 > 0:11:40And also, I wondered if I was really wanted.

0:11:40 > 0:11:45Years later, Wendy got married and had three children of her own.

0:11:45 > 0:11:49That's when I really started to search and think to myself,

0:11:49 > 0:11:54"One of these days, when I've got the time, when the kids have grown up,

0:11:54 > 0:11:59"I'm going to start looking and seeing if I can find out",

0:11:59 > 0:12:05to put it right in my mind that I was actually wanted.

0:12:05 > 0:12:08Desperate to find out what had happened to her old family,

0:12:08 > 0:12:11Wendy turned to family finder, Antony Marr.

0:12:11 > 0:12:13She wanted to know more about her father,

0:12:13 > 0:12:15and of course, he wasn't there to ask any more.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18And the more I spoke to her, and I gave her advice about where

0:12:18 > 0:12:20she wanted to look, where she might think about looking,

0:12:20 > 0:12:24how to find out more information, and she was very happy with that

0:12:24 > 0:12:26and she went away, then a little while later came back and

0:12:26 > 0:12:29asked me to do the research for her and see where we could get to.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31I started to look at Wendy's father's history

0:12:31 > 0:12:35and I looked at his World War I service, and I used the records

0:12:35 > 0:12:39available online on Ancestry and other websites to find the records

0:12:39 > 0:12:42that exist in the National Archives about his World War I service.

0:12:42 > 0:12:45Unfortunately, I couldn't find a service record for him because

0:12:45 > 0:12:48a huge number of those were destroyed in World War II

0:12:48 > 0:12:49by German bombing.

0:12:49 > 0:12:54Undeterred, Antony dug out what he could on Wendy's father

0:12:54 > 0:12:56and pulled in some interesting leads.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58The first stage with Antony,

0:12:58 > 0:13:03he found out about the service of my dad.

0:13:03 > 0:13:08He also found out where the gravestone was

0:13:08 > 0:13:12and, amazingly, it was not far from where I live.

0:13:12 > 0:13:18So I was able to go there and pay my respects, which was very emotional.

0:13:18 > 0:13:21It was just incredible. I was so pleased I could do that.

0:13:21 > 0:13:26Meanwhile, Antony had been following a new line of inquiry.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29It soon became apparent there was much more to know about her

0:13:29 > 0:13:31brothers and sisters that she'd lost touch with

0:13:31 > 0:13:34and that was very quickly where the focus of the investigation went.

0:13:34 > 0:13:38I wanted to find out if Margaret and Rodney were still alive

0:13:38 > 0:13:41because I knew that time was marching on.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43I knew they were both older than me and I thought,

0:13:43 > 0:13:48"If I don't do something about it, you know, it's going to be too late."

0:13:48 > 0:13:52But I was frightened that they would actually want to see me

0:13:52 > 0:13:54and want to talk to me.

0:13:54 > 0:13:59Because at that point, I still felt that I was like the outsider

0:13:59 > 0:14:02and I didn't, you know, I felt very nervous.

0:14:02 > 0:14:08I thought, "Well, supposing when I do find them, they'll say, well,

0:14:08 > 0:14:12"they don't want to talk to..." You know, they won't want to talk to me.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15With no way of knowing what he might discover,

0:14:15 > 0:14:18Wendy asked Antony to carry on digging.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21Antony soon discovered that Margaret had passed away,

0:14:21 > 0:14:25but he put together family trees for both Wendy and her brother Rod.

0:14:25 > 0:14:30Rod's family tree led Antony to his son Neil

0:14:30 > 0:14:33and some more detective work revealed that Neil's phone number

0:14:33 > 0:14:36was actually available on Directory Enquiries.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38Once I'd got all the information I needed,

0:14:38 > 0:14:41I put it together in a report and arranged to go and see Wendy.

0:14:41 > 0:14:44It is a very, very exciting situation to be in,

0:14:44 > 0:14:46but it's also quite tense

0:14:46 > 0:14:49because I didn't know for certain that Rod was still alive.

0:14:49 > 0:14:53I knew his son seemed to be alive and living locally,

0:14:53 > 0:14:57but the information is always that little bit extra you don't know.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59So we arranged to meet. I went and saw Wendy,

0:14:59 > 0:15:02gave her the report, gave the information I had

0:15:02 > 0:15:06and we talked about how she might then make contact with Rod's son.

0:15:07 > 0:15:10If you're searching for family members by yourself,

0:15:10 > 0:15:14Directory Enquires can be a very effective way of finding people,

0:15:14 > 0:15:17once you've done some initial family research.

0:15:17 > 0:15:20The tricky thing is, you will need to know what town or city

0:15:20 > 0:15:23the person you're looking for lives in.

0:15:23 > 0:15:24If you don't have these details,

0:15:24 > 0:15:28there are various subscription websites which allow you to

0:15:28 > 0:15:31search Directory Enquiry records without an address.

0:15:31 > 0:15:34Of course, there's then the question of how best to make

0:15:34 > 0:15:37an approach, once you've found the telephone number.

0:15:37 > 0:15:42Antony said that I could either phone, or he would phone for me,

0:15:42 > 0:15:45and I thought, "No, no, I've got to do this myself."

0:15:45 > 0:15:50So I rang Neil...Rod's son,

0:15:50 > 0:15:54and I was very nervous.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57I didn't know what his reaction would be.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00I didn't know if he knew about me. He probably didn't.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03So I... He answered, and I said, "My name was Wendy."

0:16:03 > 0:16:06I said, "Please don't put the phone down",

0:16:06 > 0:16:08because I thought he might've put the phone down.

0:16:08 > 0:16:11I said, "I think we're vaguely related."

0:16:11 > 0:16:15And I said, "Is your dad still alive?"

0:16:15 > 0:16:16And he said, "Yes, he is."

0:16:16 > 0:16:23And, I said, "Well, do you think you could ring him for me

0:16:23 > 0:16:25"and see if he would like to talk to me?"

0:16:25 > 0:16:27PHONE RINGS

0:16:30 > 0:16:35My son phones up and said, "I've had your half-sister on the phone

0:16:35 > 0:16:38"and she wonders if she can phone you."

0:16:38 > 0:16:40I said, "Well, of course she can." I wanted to find her,

0:16:40 > 0:16:43but I could never find her because I didn't know her surname.

0:16:43 > 0:16:45Wendy's sudden departure from family life was

0:16:45 > 0:16:48a great shock to Rod at the time.

0:16:48 > 0:16:52The next thing I know is Wendy's not there and her mum's not there.

0:16:52 > 0:16:56And...at that age, you don't say to your mum, "What's going on?"

0:16:56 > 0:16:59She wouldn't have told me anyway, I don't suppose.

0:16:59 > 0:17:02So I waited till the next day

0:17:02 > 0:17:05and then I rang and, you know,

0:17:05 > 0:17:09we spoke to each other for the first time, so it was just amazing.

0:17:09 > 0:17:12Obviously, relieved to hear that she was OK.

0:17:12 > 0:17:16I was very surprised that she found me cos I didn't think she...

0:17:16 > 0:17:19You know, I thought to myself, "She's got to be in her 70s.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22"What's she want to look for me for?"

0:17:22 > 0:17:23He said, "I knew I had a sister...

0:17:25 > 0:17:27"I knew I had a sister, Wendy, out there

0:17:27 > 0:17:30"but I didn't know how to find her."

0:17:30 > 0:17:32And the reason he didn't know how to find me was,

0:17:32 > 0:17:34of course, we had different surnames.

0:17:35 > 0:17:37His surname was different to mine

0:17:37 > 0:17:40and he couldn't remember what my surname was.

0:17:42 > 0:17:46All these years, Rod hadn't known how to even begin looking for Wendy,

0:17:46 > 0:17:50but being reunited with her has brought so much to his life.

0:17:50 > 0:17:52Apart from my son, she's the only relative I've got,

0:17:52 > 0:17:54Wendy, I've got nobody else.

0:17:54 > 0:17:56They're all dead...you know.

0:17:58 > 0:18:02Wendy and Rod have met up for the first time recently,

0:18:02 > 0:18:05but there's still one big thing missing from Wendy's life.

0:18:05 > 0:18:09What I would have loved to have had would be a photo of me

0:18:09 > 0:18:11with my dad or...

0:18:11 > 0:18:13That would have been brilliant.

0:18:13 > 0:18:18But I didn't have anything like that. I don't know if Rod has and...

0:18:19 > 0:18:22..maybe a photo of us all out together, you know.

0:18:22 > 0:18:24We were a family unit, after all.

0:18:24 > 0:18:28It would have been nice to see something like that,

0:18:28 > 0:18:30just to prove to everybody that...

0:18:32 > 0:18:34..spite of my birth

0:18:34 > 0:18:38and everything like that, we were just a unit and we were happy.

0:18:39 > 0:18:42They're getting together again in a few days

0:18:42 > 0:18:46and Rod has promised he'll bring what family photos he has.

0:18:46 > 0:18:49So, Wendy will have to wait until then to find out if he does

0:18:49 > 0:18:53hold the proof of the happy childhood she so fondly remembers.

0:19:02 > 0:19:07Mark Kerr was born Mark Levene to a single mother in 1950s London

0:19:07 > 0:19:10and spent his childhood in care and Approved School.

0:19:12 > 0:19:15Mark's search for his family began initially with his father,

0:19:15 > 0:19:20Solly, but it hit a brick wall when the only lead he had hung up on him.

0:19:20 > 0:19:21Phone went dead.

0:19:23 > 0:19:26But little did Mark know that, all along, another woman was

0:19:26 > 0:19:29conducting an investigation into her identity,

0:19:29 > 0:19:32which would ultimately hold the key to Mark's search.

0:19:34 > 0:19:38Margaret Teague was born in the '40s and grew up in post-war

0:19:38 > 0:19:40south-east London as an only child.

0:19:41 > 0:19:45I did have a very good childhood. I can never complain about that.

0:19:45 > 0:19:48My parents were absolutely wonderful.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50Despite being well cared for,

0:19:50 > 0:19:55it was in her teenage years Margaret felt something wasn't quite right.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58People used to say, "They your mum and dad?" "Yes."

0:19:58 > 0:20:00"Oh, aren't they tiny?!"

0:20:00 > 0:20:04It just didn't look right because I was really tall.

0:20:04 > 0:20:08When Margaret was 17, she overheard her aunt talking to her mother.

0:20:08 > 0:20:13I remember her saying, "Oh, that daughter of yours, she's so...

0:20:13 > 0:20:16"Why on earth did we ever have her because she's the black sheep of

0:20:16 > 0:20:18"the family." And they didn't think that I'd heard it

0:20:18 > 0:20:22and I got quite upset. I walked round the block of flats, you know.

0:20:22 > 0:20:25I thought, "Why did they call me the black sheep of the family?"

0:20:25 > 0:20:28Then I thought to myself, "Well, perhaps I'm not theirs."

0:20:28 > 0:20:30Pushing questions to the back of her mind,

0:20:30 > 0:20:33Margaret did her best to get on with her life.

0:20:33 > 0:20:37I worked in the bank in the Foreign Exchange in London, in Moorgate.

0:20:37 > 0:20:39Then, one day,

0:20:39 > 0:20:43a friend again commented on the lack of Margaret's family resemblance.

0:20:43 > 0:20:47She said to me one day, "Your father definitely doesn't look like you.

0:20:47 > 0:20:51"You definitely must have been adopted."

0:20:51 > 0:20:55By then, her mother had passed away, so Margaret asked her father,

0:20:55 > 0:20:59the man she called Mike, directly about her possible adoption.

0:20:59 > 0:21:01Mike never told me anything.

0:21:01 > 0:21:04When I used to say to Mike, "Is it true that I was adopted?"

0:21:05 > 0:21:08"No, no, no." He wouldn't... He'd say, "You're just being silly."

0:21:08 > 0:21:11Despite her family telling her otherwise,

0:21:11 > 0:21:14Margaret was convinced she was adopted,

0:21:14 > 0:21:17so she searched for her birth certificate at Somerset House,

0:21:17 > 0:21:19where all adoption records were kept.

0:21:19 > 0:21:23I said, "I'd like to see if I can get a full certificate."

0:21:23 > 0:21:26"Yes, down there, all the Ts are down there."

0:21:26 > 0:21:30And I got this book out and I went through page and page and page,

0:21:30 > 0:21:33and I couldn't find me.

0:21:33 > 0:21:36So, I went back, I said, "I'm not in this era anywhere."

0:21:36 > 0:21:38"Down there, you're obviously adopted.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40"Just down there, find the Ts."

0:21:40 > 0:21:45I went through June, July, August, September, October -

0:21:45 > 0:21:50couldn't find anything. Then I went to 21st October and there I was...

0:21:50 > 0:21:52adopted.

0:21:52 > 0:21:54There was never any adoption papers.

0:21:54 > 0:21:57Nobody could find any adoption papers.

0:21:57 > 0:21:59I felt awful.

0:21:59 > 0:22:03I got a lump in my throat and I wanted to phone up Mike

0:22:03 > 0:22:05and scream down the phone, but I didn't.

0:22:07 > 0:22:08Armed with this knowledge,

0:22:08 > 0:22:11she tried to broach the subject again with her dad Mike.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14He said, "I wish you would be quiet about these things

0:22:14 > 0:22:18"because whoever told you this, it's just utter rubbish."

0:22:18 > 0:22:20Of course, I'm thinking, "Why have I been told lies all my life?

0:22:20 > 0:22:22"I'm not going to have it now."

0:22:22 > 0:22:25It felt that, all my life, I was rejected.

0:22:26 > 0:22:30Getting nowhere at home, Margaret turned to her aunt.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32I told her that I'd got my birth certificate.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35"Oh, my goodness," she said, "I always knew.

0:22:35 > 0:22:38"I always knew but I could never get the gist of it."

0:22:38 > 0:22:41Her aunt then recounted a series of revelations.

0:22:42 > 0:22:46My foster mum worked in Woolworths in Bond Street

0:22:46 > 0:22:49and my real mum worked as a seamstress off Bond Street.

0:22:51 > 0:22:52Margaret's birth mother

0:22:52 > 0:22:56and the woman who would eventually adopt her became close friends.

0:22:56 > 0:23:01She got married in a red velvet dress and...

0:23:03 > 0:23:05..my real mum made her dress.

0:23:05 > 0:23:09When her biological mother fell pregnant with Margaret

0:23:09 > 0:23:13she wasn't married, which held a great stigma at that time,

0:23:13 > 0:23:15so she chose to give Margaret away.

0:23:15 > 0:23:18Her mum's close friend couldn't have children,

0:23:18 > 0:23:20so was the obvious choice to adopt her.

0:23:20 > 0:23:23After revealing all this to Margaret,

0:23:23 > 0:23:24her aunt then dropped another bombshell.

0:23:25 > 0:23:30"You've got a brother somewhere, I can't remember where he was,

0:23:30 > 0:23:34"but he's somewhere." And he was eight or nine years younger than me.

0:23:35 > 0:23:38I was determined to see if it was true

0:23:38 > 0:23:41cos I always wanted to have a brother or sister.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45Margaret spent decades unsuccessfully

0:23:45 > 0:23:47searching for her brother.

0:23:48 > 0:23:54Then, in 2005, she enlisted the help of an independent family finder

0:23:54 > 0:23:59who, after five years of research, finally made a breakthrough.

0:23:59 > 0:24:03This is the letter that she sent me telling me all about my mother.

0:24:03 > 0:24:08She trained to be a dressmaker at Corots in Bond Street

0:24:08 > 0:24:11and was a first-class dressmaker working in Richmond.

0:24:11 > 0:24:15The family finder also confirmed her birth mother Peggy

0:24:15 > 0:24:19did indeed have a son, Margaret's brother, Mark.

0:24:19 > 0:24:23In the March quarter of 1950, Peggy had a son

0:24:23 > 0:24:25and he was called Mark J Levene.

0:24:26 > 0:24:31It did make me feel better that I've actually found it all out and,

0:24:31 > 0:24:36although I'm a mature lady, I can now know the actual truth and not

0:24:36 > 0:24:39walk around like I was living a lie all my life, like, "Who am I really?"

0:24:41 > 0:24:45With Margaret's consent, the family finder sent a letter to Mark,

0:24:45 > 0:24:46the brother she'd never met.

0:24:46 > 0:24:50"Dear Mr Kerr, I'm sorry to intrude on your time,

0:24:50 > 0:24:53"but I'm hoping that you may be able to assist me with my search.

0:24:53 > 0:24:56"I'm trying to chase a Mr Mark Joseph Levene,

0:24:56 > 0:24:59"who later took the surname Kerr.

0:24:59 > 0:25:02"As my search is of a sensitive nature, I would be grateful

0:25:02 > 0:25:05"if you could let me know whether you are the person I'm looking for."

0:25:05 > 0:25:08And I sent the letter back confirming who I was.

0:25:08 > 0:25:11The family finder then gave Mark a call.

0:25:11 > 0:25:13She said, "Are you sitting down?" I said, "Yes."

0:25:13 > 0:25:15She said, "Are you on your own?"

0:25:15 > 0:25:18I said, "No, I've got one of my daughters with me."

0:25:18 > 0:25:22And she actually said, "Look, you've got a sister."

0:25:24 > 0:25:26And I just... I just couldn't believe it.

0:25:26 > 0:25:32I said, "No." She said, "You have got a sister, Mark." And I just...

0:25:32 > 0:25:33Well, I couldn't talk to her.

0:25:33 > 0:25:36I had to hand the phone over to my daughter.

0:25:36 > 0:25:40Mark and Margaret then arranged to meet for the first time in their lives.

0:25:40 > 0:25:44He said, "I've got a daughter that lives in Guildford,

0:25:44 > 0:25:47"is that too far?" So, I said we'd meet there.

0:25:47 > 0:25:50I just went there and I sat at Guildford railway station

0:25:50 > 0:25:53waiting for this train to come in from Brighton.

0:25:53 > 0:25:57Saw the train on the board arrive, all these people coming off,

0:25:57 > 0:25:59and I saw this woman walk through,

0:25:59 > 0:26:02and I knew straight away that that was Margaret.

0:26:02 > 0:26:07He knew it was me by my hair because it was like Mum's.

0:26:08 > 0:26:11She was the spitting image of Mum, how I remembered her -

0:26:11 > 0:26:13tall, blonde hair...

0:26:14 > 0:26:15..make-up.

0:26:15 > 0:26:18Mum would never go out without any make-up and I went up to her,

0:26:18 > 0:26:21tapped her on the shoulder and said, "Margaret?"

0:26:21 > 0:26:23And we just fell into each other's arms.

0:26:23 > 0:26:27Mark and Margaret have met regularly since they found each other.

0:26:27 > 0:26:29But as Margaret was adopted at birth,

0:26:29 > 0:26:33she never knew their mother, so today Mark is preparing to share

0:26:33 > 0:26:36some of his memories of her in a trip to London.

0:26:42 > 0:26:47This is actually the first time that we have met in London.

0:26:47 > 0:26:51We're both hoping to get to the cemetery where Mum was laid to rest.

0:27:01 > 0:27:03- Hello, my dear. How are you?- All right.

0:27:06 > 0:27:09- Lovely to see you again. - And you.- All right, then?

0:27:09 > 0:27:11Cor.

0:27:11 > 0:27:14- Our mum would be pleased now, wouldn't she?- Yeah.

0:27:14 > 0:27:18Believe it or not, this was Mum's old handbag and inside...

0:27:24 > 0:27:28- ..the pearls she used to wear.- Oh, look at them. Aren't they lovely?

0:27:28 > 0:27:31Gosh. Is it all right if I put these round my neck just for once?

0:27:31 > 0:27:32Course it is, love. Of course it is.

0:27:32 > 0:27:36- Look at that.- Yeah, and she used to do that, as well.

0:27:36 > 0:27:40Well, look at that. Keep them as a family heirloom from now on.

0:27:41 > 0:27:45- OK.- And these are headscarves. - Oh, gracious.- Look at this.

0:27:46 > 0:27:51- Never been worn.- Oh, look at them. - 1962, I think it is.

0:27:51 > 0:27:53- A pen there, look. - Oh, lovely, look at that.

0:27:53 > 0:27:56- Pen what me mum used to have. - Yeah.- Our mum.

0:27:56 > 0:27:58Yeah. Oh, that's lovely.

0:28:01 > 0:28:03Margaret never met her mother.

0:28:03 > 0:28:05Today, Mark's taking her to the flat where

0:28:05 > 0:28:09he spent the last few years with their mum before she died.

0:28:09 > 0:28:12Now we're coming in what I call the Harrow Road proper.

0:28:14 > 0:28:18And I believe we used to live on the right-hand side there. 326, there.

0:28:19 > 0:28:22Oh, yeah, this is all bringing it back now, Margaret.

0:28:23 > 0:28:25It's on the right here somewhere.

0:28:25 > 0:28:27There's 500.

0:28:27 > 0:28:30498... There's 500. I'm sure it was that one there.

0:28:30 > 0:28:32Yeah, that's what I said, it's most probably there.

0:28:34 > 0:28:40- There it is. 528.- What, that one up there?- 528. It's now a wine shop.

0:28:40 > 0:28:42Oh, there it is. Look.

0:28:42 > 0:28:44Butcher's shop was down there.

0:28:44 > 0:28:47A big chiller and a cutting room downstairs.

0:28:47 > 0:28:52And that's where we used to live, up there. 528. Happy days.

0:28:52 > 0:28:55- That's amazing. - Happy days, Margaret.

0:28:55 > 0:28:58Mark's happy times here were a far cry from his life

0:28:58 > 0:29:00as a young offender in his early teens,

0:29:00 > 0:29:03when he spent 18 months in a borstal,

0:29:03 > 0:29:06officially known as an Approved School.

0:29:06 > 0:29:10These institutions were established in 1933 by the Home Office

0:29:10 > 0:29:12as correctional facilities for juveniles.

0:29:14 > 0:29:17They were run along the lines of boarding schools,

0:29:17 > 0:29:20with strict discipline and corporal punishment.

0:29:20 > 0:29:22They was very strict in there. Really strict.

0:29:22 > 0:29:26I remember being in the prison van, of some description,

0:29:26 > 0:29:28and arriving at this Approved School.

0:29:28 > 0:29:33And it was frightening, the first night was absolutely frightening.

0:29:33 > 0:29:37You was in a dormitory with about 30 or 40 other children.

0:29:37 > 0:29:41You was up at the crack of dawn, 6am, and you had to get up.

0:29:41 > 0:29:42You had to get up.

0:29:42 > 0:29:45There was an outdoor swimming pool, you had to go in there.

0:29:45 > 0:29:49You had to go into the swimming pool. And I remember jumping in there...

0:29:49 > 0:29:52Fortunately enough, the ice had been broken by the boys before me.

0:29:52 > 0:29:56I remember scrubbing floors, buffing floors, making beds.

0:29:56 > 0:29:59Stripping beds, polishing gold pipes,

0:29:59 > 0:30:01washing out the toilets, cleaning out the swimming pool.

0:30:01 > 0:30:05And I was there till I was about 14, I believe.

0:30:11 > 0:30:13When he left Approved School,

0:30:13 > 0:30:16Mark only had two more years with his mum Peggy

0:30:16 > 0:30:19before she died suddenly of meningitis.

0:30:19 > 0:30:23It's been a long time since Mark has been able to visit her grave.

0:30:23 > 0:30:27Today, he's taking Margaret there for the very first time.

0:30:27 > 0:30:29I think I can see it now, Margaret.

0:30:29 > 0:30:32- This one?- This is it.

0:30:32 > 0:30:33Yeah, there you go.

0:30:34 > 0:30:37"In loving memory of my darling Peggy.

0:30:37 > 0:30:40"Laid to rest, 14th of January, 1968...

0:30:41 > 0:30:44"An angel on earth, now an angel in heaven."

0:30:45 > 0:30:48And this is the vase I put on.

0:30:48 > 0:30:50You can just about read here.

0:30:50 > 0:30:51"To Mum...

0:30:53 > 0:30:55"..from Mark." You can just about see it there.

0:30:57 > 0:31:01This was all white, beautiful white shining marble.

0:31:04 > 0:31:08- Yes. All right, Margaret? - Yes, lovely.- There you go, Mum.

0:31:08 > 0:31:11We're back together now.

0:31:11 > 0:31:14You've got nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be ashamed of.

0:31:14 > 0:31:18Nothing at all, love. If only you'd let us known earlier.

0:31:18 > 0:31:20But there it is, what's done is done.

0:31:20 > 0:31:23- Right, love?- Yeah.- There you go.

0:31:23 > 0:31:25I've go... I've got to go.

0:31:28 > 0:31:30HE EXHALES

0:31:30 > 0:31:31HE SNIFFS

0:31:31 > 0:31:33- Are you OK now?- Yeah.- Sure?

0:31:39 > 0:31:43- Sorry, love.- That's all right. Listen, don't you dare say sorry.

0:31:43 > 0:31:46- You don't say sorry for anything. - I can remember the day,

0:31:46 > 0:31:47the funeral, now.

0:31:50 > 0:31:52It is sort of, like, bringing up a past that

0:31:52 > 0:31:54sort of, like, I didn't know a lot about,

0:31:54 > 0:31:57and now I've found so much out about it

0:31:57 > 0:31:58since I've found my brother.

0:31:58 > 0:32:01And I was more than nervous to come up here,

0:32:01 > 0:32:04but once I got into the cemetery and to the grave,

0:32:04 > 0:32:05I felt totally different.

0:32:05 > 0:32:09Now that I know that my mum is there,

0:32:09 > 0:32:12it makes the picture a lot clearer now.

0:32:12 > 0:32:15And after all these years, I understood everything that

0:32:15 > 0:32:18went on and I understand, you know,

0:32:18 > 0:32:20these things are a must.

0:32:20 > 0:32:24It's just made everything really happy.

0:32:24 > 0:32:26It was....

0:32:26 > 0:32:28upsetting to begin with.

0:32:28 > 0:32:31But I'm glad I've come, I'm glad I've found the grave,

0:32:31 > 0:32:35it was a lot easier to find. I'm glad I stood there with Margaret,

0:32:35 > 0:32:37side-by-side, with Mum.

0:32:37 > 0:32:41And it was a really, really lovely experience for both of us.

0:32:41 > 0:32:44And we intend to come up again, get the grave cleaned up,

0:32:44 > 0:32:48bring some flowers and maybe come up once or twice a year

0:32:48 > 0:32:49for as long as we can.

0:32:57 > 0:33:01In Buckinghamshire, Wendy Brightwell has reconnected with her half

0:33:01 > 0:33:04brother Rod after 60 years apart.

0:33:04 > 0:33:08They've met up briefly a few times since getting back in touch,

0:33:08 > 0:33:11but today is a huge day for them both.

0:33:11 > 0:33:15Rod is bringing some family photos which Wendy has never seen before.

0:33:15 > 0:33:19And Wendy will introduce him to her family for the first time,

0:33:19 > 0:33:23including the nieces and nephews he never knew he had.

0:33:23 > 0:33:26I'm really excited. I couldn't sleep last night, waiting...

0:33:26 > 0:33:27waiting to see him again.

0:33:29 > 0:33:32I'm hoping he's going to bring some photos with him that we

0:33:32 > 0:33:36can look at together and I can show him my photos.

0:33:36 > 0:33:39Maybe we will remember things, you know, together that happened

0:33:39 > 0:33:42when we were young.

0:33:42 > 0:33:45God! I've been so looking forward to this.

0:33:45 > 0:33:47So looking forward to meeting you again.

0:33:47 > 0:33:49- All right?- I'm all right. Yeah.

0:33:49 > 0:33:51- Oh!- You're still tiny.

0:33:51 > 0:33:53- I'm still tiny! - SHE LAUGHS

0:33:53 > 0:33:56I'm going to give you another hug.

0:33:56 > 0:33:58THEY LAUGH

0:33:58 > 0:34:01- Oh, it's lovely, it's lovely.- Yeah.

0:34:01 > 0:34:02Gosh.

0:34:04 > 0:34:06- I've got some photos. - You've brought some photos, lovely.

0:34:06 > 0:34:09And I've got all my stuff there as well.

0:34:09 > 0:34:12These are the ones I started off with.

0:34:12 > 0:34:15- I've got that one. - Oh, you've got that one?- Yes.

0:34:15 > 0:34:19Yeah, I remember Mum told me not to open my mouth

0:34:19 > 0:34:22because I didn't have any teeth at the time.

0:34:22 > 0:34:23SHE LAUGHS

0:34:23 > 0:34:26- I really like that one.- Yeah.

0:34:26 > 0:34:29- There again.- Really, really nice.

0:34:29 > 0:34:32But I find it amazing, Rod, that you've got

0:34:32 > 0:34:35all these pictures of me when

0:34:35 > 0:34:38I... You know...

0:34:38 > 0:34:43I didn't know that you cared about me that much, you know.

0:34:43 > 0:34:45Rod now produces the photo which Wendy has been

0:34:45 > 0:34:48waiting to see for 60 years.

0:34:48 > 0:34:51- Oh, my goodness.- That's all of us. That's all of us together.

0:34:51 > 0:34:54- That's amazing!- It is, really.

0:34:54 > 0:34:58- Well, it is, because we are all out on a day out.- I don't remember that.

0:34:58 > 0:35:01- There's me.- Rod, my mum,

0:35:01 > 0:35:04- Elaine...and me.- With Wendy.

0:35:04 > 0:35:07- Mum.- Auntie Marg... Oh, Auntie Lil.- Yeah.

0:35:07 > 0:35:09- And Margaret, my sister.- Yeah.

0:35:09 > 0:35:12But this is amazing because we were all on a day out

0:35:12 > 0:35:16- and Dad must have been taking that photo, mustn't he?- Yes.

0:35:16 > 0:35:19That's just proved to me the fact that we did...

0:35:19 > 0:35:22Seeing that is probably the best

0:35:22 > 0:35:27because that proves that we were all living together as a family

0:35:27 > 0:35:30and everybody was OK with it.

0:35:30 > 0:35:33I'm going to put that in a frame and put it on the wall.

0:35:35 > 0:35:40Although their family set-up was unusual, Wendy can take comfort from

0:35:40 > 0:35:44the fact that Rod's photo shows them as a close-knit and loving unit.

0:35:44 > 0:35:48Now Wendy would like to introduce Rod to her immediate family.

0:35:48 > 0:35:51She's arranged for him to meet her husband,

0:35:51 > 0:35:54daughter and grandchildren in a local cafe.

0:35:54 > 0:35:57- Hello.- This is Lewis. - Hi, you all right?- Hi.- Lewis.

0:35:57 > 0:36:01- Hello, nice to meet you. - And you.- That's Liddie.

0:36:01 > 0:36:05- You didn't know you had an uncle, did you?- No. And little Ella.

0:36:05 > 0:36:08- Are you all right?- Hello.

0:36:08 > 0:36:10- And this is Sue. - Hi, lovely to meet you.

0:36:12 > 0:36:15- Really lovely. - Hello, Ken. All right?

0:36:15 > 0:36:18- Hello, Rod. - Got a whole new family now.

0:36:18 > 0:36:21This is only... This is only a little bit of it.

0:36:21 > 0:36:24This is only a part of the family.

0:36:24 > 0:36:27- This is the best lot. - THEY LAUGH

0:36:27 > 0:36:30I thought we'd introduce you to the best and then you can...

0:36:30 > 0:36:33- Meet the riff-raff later. - Yeah, exactly. - THEY LAUGH

0:36:33 > 0:36:36So what was Nan like when she was little?

0:36:36 > 0:36:39I'm almost 77 now, I don't remember much.

0:36:39 > 0:36:41And did you think that one day you would ever see her again,

0:36:41 > 0:36:45- or never, ever? - Because I couldn't find her, could I?

0:36:45 > 0:36:48- So did you try to find her? - I can't, can I?

0:36:48 > 0:36:50- WENDY:- Rod is Marler, after Dad,

0:36:50 > 0:36:54and I was after Nan's name, which is Ballard.

0:36:54 > 0:36:56So how did it work out, you all living together?

0:36:56 > 0:36:58That must have been rather odd.

0:36:58 > 0:37:02Well, because we were young, Rod and I didn't really...

0:37:02 > 0:37:05We didn't really think anything of it. But it was an odd set-up.

0:37:05 > 0:37:08I mean, two women, one man,

0:37:08 > 0:37:12but there was never any trouble.

0:37:12 > 0:37:15The neighbours didn't seem to... There was never any...

0:37:15 > 0:37:18We were never aware of any bad feeling in the house.

0:37:18 > 0:37:21- There was never any rows...- No. - ..that we remember anyway.

0:37:23 > 0:37:25- Just all got on with it. - And we just all got on with it.

0:37:27 > 0:37:30It's a bit like a weight has been lifted off her shoulder

0:37:30 > 0:37:31because now she has done it.

0:37:31 > 0:37:34And it has always been in the back of her mind that she wanted to,

0:37:34 > 0:37:37and now it's actually happened, so that is brilliant.

0:37:37 > 0:37:40So, I think she has grown in confidence, the fact she has done

0:37:40 > 0:37:43the research, obviously with help, but that's quite an impressive thing

0:37:43 > 0:37:48to do at 72, is to go online and do all the bits and bobs she's done.

0:37:48 > 0:37:51So she has definitely grown in confidence and she is a lot happier, yes, definitely.

0:37:51 > 0:37:54How does it feel to meet your great uncle?

0:37:54 > 0:37:57And can you believe I've got an uncle after all these years?

0:37:57 > 0:38:01- Yeah, it's a bit strange. - A bit strange. A nice strange.

0:38:01 > 0:38:04Yeah. I think it'll be nice, like...

0:38:04 > 0:38:07- In time. - ..get to know him a bit more

0:38:07 > 0:38:10and find out more info and stuff.

0:38:10 > 0:38:12As family are so important to Mum,

0:38:12 > 0:38:16meeting Rodney is really fantastic and she's really happy about it,

0:38:16 > 0:38:20and we are all delighted to meet another new member of our family.

0:38:20 > 0:38:23- It's the icing on the cake. - It is the icing on the cake.

0:38:23 > 0:38:25Good quote, Lydia.

0:38:25 > 0:38:29And for Rod and Wendy, a new chapter of their lives has begun.

0:38:30 > 0:38:34Family is important, it's always been a search to find

0:38:34 > 0:38:38the rest of my family, to find the family that I grew up with,

0:38:38 > 0:38:40so to find Rod is just amazing.

0:38:40 > 0:38:43- And I've got a lot more family than I did have before.- That's right.

0:38:43 > 0:38:46I only had one, I only had a son. Now I've got loads.

0:38:46 > 0:38:47THEY LAUGH

0:38:47 > 0:38:52It just makes our family complete

0:38:52 > 0:38:56and... And that's just wonderful. It's just what I wanted.

0:38:57 > 0:38:59It's been a successful family gathering

0:38:59 > 0:39:01and this is only the start.

0:39:01 > 0:39:03There are plenty more relatives

0:39:03 > 0:39:06for both Wendy and Rod to connect with in the future.

0:39:07 > 0:39:11But there's still one family mystery that needs to be solved.

0:39:11 > 0:39:14Their father, who had lived with both their mothers

0:39:14 > 0:39:16at the same time, was a bit of an enigma

0:39:16 > 0:39:19when it came to many parts of his life.

0:39:19 > 0:39:22So we've sort of looked at all of our photos and things,

0:39:22 > 0:39:26- but there's not really much here about Dad...- No.

0:39:26 > 0:39:28..what he did in the First World War.

0:39:28 > 0:39:31I don't know anything about what he did because all...

0:39:31 > 0:39:34As I say, all he ever said to me was, "Oh, you don't want to know."

0:39:34 > 0:39:35Don't want to know.

0:39:35 > 0:39:38- I knew he was in Egypt, but that's all I knew.- Yeah.

0:39:38 > 0:39:41We'll go down in a minute and see Antony,

0:39:41 > 0:39:45and hopefully he'll have a lot more to show us.

0:39:45 > 0:39:48The genealogist who brought them together, Antony Marr,

0:39:48 > 0:39:52has managed to find some of their father's military records

0:39:52 > 0:39:56and they contain some fascinating insights into his wartime heroics.

0:39:56 > 0:39:59- Hiya, Wendy, how are you? - Nice to see you again.

0:39:59 > 0:40:02And you must be Rod, I've heard a lot about you.

0:40:02 > 0:40:04So you came to see me and you brought along

0:40:04 > 0:40:06- some information about your father. - I did.

0:40:06 > 0:40:08And we had a photograph of him,

0:40:08 > 0:40:10we had some information about when he died

0:40:10 > 0:40:14and we had some information that he had served in the First World War.

0:40:14 > 0:40:17You asked me if I could then find out more information

0:40:17 > 0:40:20- and add something to what you already knew.- That's exactly...

0:40:20 > 0:40:22So what I did, I went away and I looked him up

0:40:22 > 0:40:27in the World War I records, and we found the...medal index card

0:40:27 > 0:40:31- that shows he served in the London regiments.- Right.

0:40:31 > 0:40:33And that he did qualify for two medals,

0:40:33 > 0:40:36- the Victory Medal and the British War Medal.- Right.

0:40:36 > 0:40:38And we also had some information about which parts

0:40:38 > 0:40:41of the regiment he may have served in, so that's the starting point.

0:40:41 > 0:40:43And from that index card, what I actually did,

0:40:43 > 0:40:46I went to the National Archives and I looked up the actual medal roll,

0:40:46 > 0:40:49which is the register that this refers to,

0:40:49 > 0:40:52which tells us what he was doing and where he was serving,

0:40:52 > 0:40:55and how he qualified for those medals.

0:40:55 > 0:40:56So...

0:40:56 > 0:41:00this is a copy of the actual medal roll that that card was

0:41:00 > 0:41:04just an index to. So you can see his name here -

0:41:04 > 0:41:06- George William Marler.- That's clear.

0:41:07 > 0:41:11And that's the service number that he finished with,

0:41:11 > 0:41:14- when he was in the 22nd London Regiment.- Yeah.

0:41:14 > 0:41:18But it tells us here that he served in the 14th and the fourth.

0:41:18 > 0:41:23The interesting thing, though, is this number here, where it says 1A. "Theatre of war served in 1A."

0:41:23 > 0:41:26- Well, that tells us it was in France and Flanders...- Oh.

0:41:26 > 0:41:31..and that's how he qualified. So it shows he carried on...

0:41:31 > 0:41:33or that his battalion carried on,

0:41:33 > 0:41:37and he reached a place, or the battalion reached a place,

0:41:37 > 0:41:41called Sars-la-Bruyere, in Belgium, near Mons, on Armistice Day.

0:41:41 > 0:41:44And when you think, when you look at the photograph of him there,

0:41:44 > 0:41:46in his smart uniform,

0:41:46 > 0:41:49that no doubt he probably had that taken just before he left...

0:41:49 > 0:41:53- to leave with his family.- And very proud...- Very proud young man.

0:41:53 > 0:41:58- 18 years old. Just a little bit more probably.- He said he was in Egypt,

0:41:58 > 0:42:00- that's what he told me.- He could have been. He could have been.

0:42:00 > 0:42:02I think we said that, didn't we?

0:42:02 > 0:42:05- You thought he might have been in Palestine.- Yeah.

0:42:05 > 0:42:07I think the interesting thing is that the war...

0:42:07 > 0:42:11The medal roll is actually the medal roll of the 22nd London Regiment,

0:42:11 > 0:42:14that he appears in, but there's no service shown

0:42:14 > 0:42:17qualifying for a medal in the 22nd...

0:42:17 > 0:42:21- No.- ..so I think perhaps he moved on to the 22nd,

0:42:21 > 0:42:25maybe after the war ended, and went on to Egypt or Palestine.

0:42:25 > 0:42:28So I hope that's answered all the questions you had, Wendy,

0:42:28 > 0:42:30- and it's been great to meet you, Rod.- And you.- Yeah.

0:42:32 > 0:42:35- How was that, then?- Brilliant. - It was.- I mean,

0:42:35 > 0:42:38I've learned so much just from that. You know, I knew a lot.

0:42:38 > 0:42:40- Yeah, I learnt about... - But you must have...

0:42:40 > 0:42:43- I learnt a hell of a lot today. - I know.- Really.- Yeah.

0:42:43 > 0:42:45Because I didn't know half of it. You've done well.

0:42:45 > 0:42:49So we need to sort of sit down and have a little think now

0:42:49 > 0:42:51and put it all together.

0:42:51 > 0:42:53The feeling of putting somebody's history

0:42:53 > 0:42:56back in front of them and letting them see where they came from

0:42:56 > 0:42:59and how that worked out for them, it is so rewarding.

0:42:59 > 0:43:02The feeling of them filling the gaps that's in their

0:43:02 > 0:43:06mind about their history, it can be really rewarding at that point.

0:43:06 > 0:43:09And getting them... Sitting down with them and going through it

0:43:09 > 0:43:12and explaining how all their family fit together,

0:43:12 > 0:43:14and sometimes even managing to put them back together again.