Episode 15

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04Families can be driven apart for all manner of reasons.

0:00:04 > 0:00:07Oh, I had no information at all about where my mum went.

0:00:07 > 0:00:10And when you do lose touch with your loved ones...

0:00:10 > 0:00:12You don't know who you are, where have you come from.

0:00:12 > 0:00:15..finding them can take a lifetime...

0:00:15 > 0:00:19I might have a brother that's still living here.

0:00:19 > 0:00:23..especially when they could be anywhere - at home or abroad.

0:00:23 > 0:00:26And that's where the family finders come in.

0:00:26 > 0:00:28From international organisations...

0:00:28 > 0:00:32Hi, it's the Salvation Army Family Tracing Service.

0:00:32 > 0:00:34..to genealogy detective agencies...

0:00:34 > 0:00:38For someone to say that it's changed their life, it makes coming to work,

0:00:38 > 0:00:40you know, really, really special.

0:00:40 > 0:00:42..and dedicated one-man bands.

0:00:42 > 0:00:46It's a matter of how much effort you really want to put into it,

0:00:46 > 0:00:48how badly you want to solve the problem.

0:00:48 > 0:00:52They hunt through history to bring families back together again.

0:00:52 > 0:00:55Finding new family is wonderful.

0:00:55 > 0:00:59In this series, we follow the work of the family finders.

0:00:59 > 0:01:04Suddenly, you get one spark of breakthrough and there they are.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06Learning the tricks they use

0:01:06 > 0:01:08to track missing relatives through time.

0:01:08 > 0:01:13I didn't think I'd ever find sisters but I have.

0:01:13 > 0:01:17And meeting the people whose lives they change along the way.

0:01:17 > 0:01:20I've been waiting to meet John my whole life.

0:01:20 > 0:01:23Since we've met, I feel part of a family again.

0:01:23 > 0:01:25You've just completed my life for me.

0:01:31 > 0:01:35In the UK, thousands of people embark on searches

0:01:35 > 0:01:38for long-lost relatives every year.

0:01:38 > 0:01:41No two searches are ever the same.

0:01:41 > 0:01:43Sometimes, one new piece of information

0:01:43 > 0:01:46can crack a case wide open.

0:01:46 > 0:01:51And other times, one single spelling mistake can hamper a hunt forever.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55Today, we follow Jeannie and her daughter Sarah

0:01:55 > 0:02:00whose whole family mystery unravelled with a well-judged hunch.

0:02:00 > 0:02:03After 25 years of searching,

0:02:03 > 0:02:10the euphoria that I felt is just indescribable.

0:02:10 > 0:02:13And we meet Graham, who almost gave up

0:02:13 > 0:02:15the convoluted search for his sister.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18Perhaps I'd been raising my hopes far too high

0:02:18 > 0:02:20and that it turns out that...

0:02:20 > 0:02:23somebody somewhere along the line has got it wrong.

0:02:29 > 0:02:33Jeannie Taplin was born in the Midlands in 1942,

0:02:33 > 0:02:35and was brought up by her mother, Willy.

0:02:36 > 0:02:41My mother had told me that my father had died during the war.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44And I think I accepted that.

0:02:44 > 0:02:48There were quite a lot of widows with young children.

0:02:49 > 0:02:54And it wasn't until I got older that I started to question.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57When I was about ten,

0:02:57 > 0:03:01I think I must have been asking my mother questions

0:03:01 > 0:03:08about why I'd got the same name as her,

0:03:08 > 0:03:11you know, not my father's

0:03:11 > 0:03:17and she eventually decided that it was the right time to tell me

0:03:17 > 0:03:20that my father was still alive

0:03:20 > 0:03:26and that a gentleman who I'd known as Uncle Steve,

0:03:26 > 0:03:30who'd visited whilst we were living in Birmingham,

0:03:30 > 0:03:33wasn't an uncle at all but was my actual father.

0:03:36 > 0:03:39Ten-year-old Jeannie discovered her father, Uncle Steve,

0:03:39 > 0:03:43was, in fact, called Alexander and originally from Finland.

0:03:43 > 0:03:48He had arrived in England in 1917 and adopted the name Steve.

0:03:49 > 0:03:53Jeannie didn't imagine she would ever see him again.

0:03:53 > 0:03:55Four years past, then one day,

0:03:55 > 0:03:58Jeannie's mother announced that her father was waiting outside.

0:03:59 > 0:04:04As I walked out of the house towards the car,

0:04:04 > 0:04:06I really didn't want to be doing it.

0:04:06 > 0:04:08I didn't...

0:04:09 > 0:04:12He was a stranger to me.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15I didn't know what we would talk about.

0:04:17 > 0:04:19However, after their first meeting,

0:04:19 > 0:04:21Jeannie and her father stayed in touch

0:04:21 > 0:04:24and began to see each other more often.

0:04:24 > 0:04:29He asked my mother if I could go and stay with him for a fortnight

0:04:29 > 0:04:31during the summer.

0:04:31 > 0:04:39He really spoilt me during that time and took me out to nice places.

0:04:39 > 0:04:43It was a lovely experience because I did feel then

0:04:43 > 0:04:46that I was getting closer to him.

0:04:46 > 0:04:49But Jeannie's delight in getting to know her father

0:04:49 > 0:04:52soon turned to disappointment.

0:04:52 > 0:04:55He stopped visiting and disappeared from her life again.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58It was devastating to be honest

0:04:58 > 0:05:04because that was the second time he deserted me.

0:05:04 > 0:05:08You know, once as a baby and then again

0:05:08 > 0:05:11as a teenager.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14It made me question, "Is there something wrong with me?

0:05:14 > 0:05:18"Am I not a lovable person?"

0:05:20 > 0:05:24I then met my husband.

0:05:25 > 0:05:30We married and after we'd had our first child,

0:05:30 > 0:05:35I felt this need to try and contact my father again,

0:05:35 > 0:05:38wrote to him and he actually came to visit me.

0:05:40 > 0:05:44This time, they stayed in touch by letter for a number of years -

0:05:44 > 0:05:47until once again, Alexander disappeared.

0:05:48 > 0:05:54I became annoyed with him because I had written and hadn't had a reply

0:05:54 > 0:05:59for quite some time, longer than he would usually have left it.

0:05:59 > 0:06:05But I got a reply from his third wife

0:06:05 > 0:06:10saying that he'd died six months previously.

0:06:12 > 0:06:14Life carried on for Jeannie

0:06:14 > 0:06:18but something her mother had once told her kept playing on her mind.

0:06:20 > 0:06:26At some point when my mother was talking about my father,

0:06:26 > 0:06:31she mentioned that some years previously he'd been married

0:06:31 > 0:06:33and had a daughter.

0:06:35 > 0:06:40Jeannie had an older half-sister but knew absolutely nothing about her.

0:06:40 > 0:06:41As the years passed,

0:06:41 > 0:06:46she found herself thinking more about this mystery sibling.

0:06:46 > 0:06:51Especially in later life when I started travelling more

0:06:51 > 0:06:56and every time I was in an airport,

0:06:56 > 0:07:02I used to think, you know, "She could be here."

0:07:04 > 0:07:09Luckily for Jeannie, she had an amateur genealogist on hand to help,

0:07:09 > 0:07:10her daughter, Sarah.

0:07:11 > 0:07:16My interest in genealogy began when I did a school project

0:07:16 > 0:07:21at the age of 13 and we were asked to compile a basic family tree.

0:07:21 > 0:07:27My great aunt, my mother's aunt, came to stay with us

0:07:27 > 0:07:32and she had heaps of information on the maternal side.

0:07:32 > 0:07:36The hobby very much turned into an obsession.

0:07:38 > 0:07:42Like Sarah, many people are turning family finder themselves

0:07:42 > 0:07:44to look for long-lost relatives.

0:07:44 > 0:07:46When beginning a search yourself,

0:07:46 > 0:07:50start with the resource closest to hand - your own family.

0:07:50 > 0:07:51The very first thing I do,

0:07:51 > 0:07:54and this is a piece of advice I give everybody who's starting out,

0:07:54 > 0:07:58is find the oldest person in the family and talk to them

0:07:58 > 0:08:03and do it today because they might not be there tomorrow.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05Ask them what it was like growing up,

0:08:05 > 0:08:06what are the secrets they've got.

0:08:06 > 0:08:08This is the great thing about old people -

0:08:08 > 0:08:10they don't care any more so they're quite happy to tell you

0:08:10 > 0:08:12all their secrets.

0:08:12 > 0:08:16There is truth buried in a story

0:08:16 > 0:08:19and you want to capture that, first and foremost,

0:08:19 > 0:08:23and use it as a jumping-off point before you dive straight into the records.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25If you just dive into the records,

0:08:25 > 0:08:29it can be quite a dry experience.

0:08:29 > 0:08:33But if you're diving into those records trying to back up the story,

0:08:33 > 0:08:36those records have a dimension for you

0:08:36 > 0:08:39that they just don't have for somebody else.

0:08:41 > 0:08:44Sarah started searching for her grandfather

0:08:44 > 0:08:48with the few facts about him that her family knew.

0:08:48 > 0:08:50Most importantly, Sarah learned that

0:08:50 > 0:08:52some years after arriving in England,

0:08:52 > 0:08:55Alexander was naturalised and became a British citizen.

0:08:56 > 0:08:58Along with his full name,

0:08:58 > 0:09:01that should have left a paper trail Sarah could follow.

0:09:01 > 0:09:06I was always told that his name was Alexander Leonard Roden,

0:09:06 > 0:09:08which was his naturalised name.

0:09:10 > 0:09:14But Sarah's search didn't produce any results.

0:09:14 > 0:09:18Her grandfather and his other daughter remained a mystery.

0:09:18 > 0:09:21In fact, it took 25 years before Sarah found the key

0:09:21 > 0:09:24that unlocked this family puzzle.

0:09:24 > 0:09:28I was on the National Archives website, Discovery.

0:09:28 > 0:09:34I thought, "I'll give my grandfather's name a go again."

0:09:34 > 0:09:38So I put in his name, all three names,

0:09:38 > 0:09:41including the middle name - Alexander Leonard Roden -

0:09:41 > 0:09:46and nothing came up, so I took out the middle name,

0:09:46 > 0:09:48and suddenly his naturalisation certificate

0:09:48 > 0:09:51and the application for naturalisation came up.

0:09:53 > 0:10:00The euphoria that I felt is just indescribable.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03After 25 years of searching,

0:10:03 > 0:10:06to finally have that piece of paper in front of me

0:10:06 > 0:10:09was just indescribable.

0:10:09 > 0:10:14The naturalisation certificate showed Jeannie's father's real name,

0:10:14 > 0:10:16Alexander Rautanen.

0:10:16 > 0:10:20There was one person Sarah desperately wanted to tell -

0:10:20 > 0:10:22her mum, Jeannie.

0:10:22 > 0:10:26Sarah phoned me and said, "I've found him."

0:10:28 > 0:10:29And she said,

0:10:29 > 0:10:32"I know what his name is

0:10:32 > 0:10:35"and the reason we couldn't find him before was

0:10:35 > 0:10:38"because we'd been looking under the wrong name.

0:10:38 > 0:10:42"And for that reason, we kept hitting dead ends."

0:10:43 > 0:10:47I couldn't believe it that,

0:10:47 > 0:10:51at last, it was all coming together.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54But that wasn't all Sarah found.

0:10:54 > 0:10:58Now with the right name, the information floodgates opened.

0:10:59 > 0:11:03Within two hours of finding out my grandfather's real name,

0:11:03 > 0:11:09I was able to find his first marriage, his second marriage.

0:11:09 > 0:11:15I found bankruptcy records, I found divorce records,

0:11:15 > 0:11:20all manner of records, and I did not get up from the computer

0:11:20 > 0:11:22until about ten o'clock that night.

0:11:22 > 0:11:25I probably did 12 hours straight.

0:11:25 > 0:11:29Her searches also confirmed Jeannie's suspicions.

0:11:29 > 0:11:33Alexander had had another baby, 18 years before Jeannie,

0:11:33 > 0:11:35a daughter called Muriel.

0:11:36 > 0:11:41I phoned my mother again and I said, "You did have an older sister.

0:11:41 > 0:11:44"She would have been 90 this year."

0:11:44 > 0:11:49I never for a minute thought that she was still alive.

0:11:49 > 0:11:54Of course, 90 isn't old these days but it never crossed my mind.

0:11:54 > 0:11:57It had taken her 25 years

0:11:57 > 0:12:02but Sarah had finally succeeded in tracing her mother's family.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04But there were more revelations to come

0:12:04 > 0:12:08and the journey would take them to the other side of the world.

0:12:13 > 0:12:16In Essex, 66-year-old Graham Holloway

0:12:16 > 0:12:20also had a long and challenging search for a sibling.

0:12:20 > 0:12:24His story began with a difficult and unsettled childhood.

0:12:24 > 0:12:27As far as my birth mother and father are concerned,

0:12:27 > 0:12:31I have no real recollection of them at all.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34It was deemed by Southend Social Services

0:12:34 > 0:12:38that it was not a safe place for us to be with them

0:12:38 > 0:12:43and consequently, it was determined that we should be taken into care.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47In 1951, at the age of two,

0:12:47 > 0:12:51Graham was sent to live in a children's home in Southend.

0:12:51 > 0:12:54I can remember arriving and being impressed

0:12:54 > 0:12:58because the home had a series of swings and roundabouts.

0:12:58 > 0:13:02But initially, very, very bewildering.

0:13:02 > 0:13:09So, all of a sudden from being an individual within a sort of family,

0:13:09 > 0:13:12I was suddenly thrust into a place where I knew nobody.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16But Graham wasn't the only new arrival

0:13:16 > 0:13:18at the children's home that day.

0:13:18 > 0:13:22His three-year-old sister, Lynda, had also been placed in care.

0:13:22 > 0:13:25We didn't have very much contact at all

0:13:25 > 0:13:29because boys and girls in those days were very much kept apart anyway.

0:13:29 > 0:13:33Especially in an institution such as a children's home.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35The amount of contact we had with each other was minimal.

0:13:36 > 0:13:40Graham found it difficult to settle at the home.

0:13:40 > 0:13:45I absconded from the children's home at least three times,

0:13:45 > 0:13:48such that the police were alerted and so on and so forth.

0:13:50 > 0:13:51During their time at the care home,

0:13:51 > 0:13:55Graham and his sister Lynda were fostered by several families,

0:13:55 > 0:13:58sometimes alone, sometimes together.

0:13:59 > 0:14:01Lynda and I, initially,

0:14:01 > 0:14:06they tried to foster us out together but ultimately it didn't work

0:14:06 > 0:14:09because, A, we didn't always get on together,

0:14:09 > 0:14:12brothers and sisters don't always, do they?

0:14:12 > 0:14:18And plus they had other children as well, and they, on some occasions,

0:14:18 > 0:14:22thought that our behaviour was disruptive to their family.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26Eventually, Lynda was permanently fostered

0:14:26 > 0:14:28and Graham never saw her again.

0:14:29 > 0:14:33I cannot remember how old I was or how old she was,

0:14:33 > 0:14:35but all of a sudden she was no longer there.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37It really was quite tough,

0:14:37 > 0:14:40because I didn't really have any other friends.

0:14:40 > 0:14:42I knew all the other lads are there,

0:14:42 > 0:14:44I knew some of the other girls there,

0:14:44 > 0:14:48but it's not quite the same thing as having your sister there.

0:14:48 > 0:14:51Each time that I'd been fostered out

0:14:51 > 0:14:58I'd never actually stayed for more than half a school term.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01I was very resentful of chopping and changing,

0:15:01 > 0:15:04being placed here then moved then placed somewhere else.

0:15:04 > 0:15:07You thought, "Am I ever going to get out of this situation,

0:15:07 > 0:15:11"or am I destined to be in the situation for the rest of my life?"

0:15:12 > 0:15:16Eventually, Graham was able to put the years of hardship behind him

0:15:16 > 0:15:19and find the stability he craved.

0:15:19 > 0:15:22At the age of ten, he was officially adopted by a young couple

0:15:22 > 0:15:26who had been fostering him, Robert and Joan Holloway.

0:15:26 > 0:15:30It was a very, very happy home with the Holloways.

0:15:30 > 0:15:32Very happy. I'm sorry they're gone.

0:15:35 > 0:15:37Joan, my mother,

0:15:37 > 0:15:42had had five miscarriages, so a child to her was everything.

0:15:45 > 0:15:48And that's why she was the way she was with me.

0:15:50 > 0:15:52She though, "I'm lucky to have a child."

0:15:53 > 0:15:56And I was lucky to have a mother.

0:15:56 > 0:15:57And father.

0:15:59 > 0:16:01Graham thrived in his new life.

0:16:01 > 0:16:07Eventually, he left home, trained as a teacher and started a family.

0:16:07 > 0:16:10But he never forgot about his sister, Lynda.

0:16:10 > 0:16:14I'd always wondered about Lynda and her circumstances,

0:16:14 > 0:16:16what became of her,

0:16:16 > 0:16:23but I was not really going to do anything to search for her

0:16:23 > 0:16:26whilst Mr and Mrs Holloway were still around.

0:16:26 > 0:16:31So I wasn't offending or showing little respect

0:16:31 > 0:16:34for what they'd done for me.

0:16:34 > 0:16:36It wasn't until six years ago,

0:16:36 > 0:16:39almost six decades since he had last seen her,

0:16:39 > 0:16:43that Graham finally began the search for his sister.

0:16:43 > 0:16:49My aim is to find Lynda because she's the only sibling I have.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51There is nobody else.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53I got hold of her birth certificate,

0:16:53 > 0:16:58which established what her full name was.

0:16:58 > 0:17:02But when Graham tried to trace Lynda, he drew a blank.

0:17:02 > 0:17:06I spent the best part of two years, possibly even more,

0:17:06 > 0:17:09searching for the correct Lynda

0:17:09 > 0:17:13and there was always some impediment

0:17:13 > 0:17:16or something wrong with the information I was getting

0:17:16 > 0:17:20in that the name I had found was incorrectly spelt,

0:17:20 > 0:17:22the middle name was incorrect

0:17:22 > 0:17:27or the year of birth was incorrect or the place of birth was incorrect.

0:17:27 > 0:17:32I was looking at it on a day-to-day basis for a couple of hours per day

0:17:32 > 0:17:35but I kept coming up to dead ends.

0:17:35 > 0:17:38It is very wearing, very frustrating.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40After years of disappointment,

0:17:40 > 0:17:43Graham's search for his sister ground to a halt.

0:17:43 > 0:17:46There would always be something that was not quite right.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48There was always something that didn't tie in.

0:17:48 > 0:17:52Ready to call it all off, he made one last attempt.

0:17:53 > 0:17:58This time he brought in a professional family-finding company.

0:17:58 > 0:17:59When Graham got in contact with us,

0:17:59 > 0:18:02he hadn't had any contact with his sister in over 50 years

0:18:02 > 0:18:05and he had absolutely no idea what had happened to her.

0:18:05 > 0:18:07He only knew that she hadn't been adopted

0:18:07 > 0:18:09because he had a copy of her original birth certificate

0:18:09 > 0:18:12and when someone is adopted it does state on there

0:18:12 > 0:18:13that the person's been adopted.

0:18:13 > 0:18:17Lynda's foster parents had never formally adopted her,

0:18:17 > 0:18:21meaning Lynda should have kept her surname at birth, Burchell.

0:18:21 > 0:18:25But neither Graham not Dave could find any trace of that name.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28Then Dave had a breakthrough.

0:18:28 > 0:18:32He discovered Lynda had changed her surname herself.

0:18:32 > 0:18:33It's quite common to see somebody

0:18:33 > 0:18:38taking on the surname of a foster parent or perhaps a step-parent.

0:18:38 > 0:18:39That's quite common to see.

0:18:39 > 0:18:42For instance, in this case, we found she'd changed her name to Lynda Green.

0:18:42 > 0:18:44We then looked for a marriage record.

0:18:44 > 0:18:47Now, this was quite interesting because we did find one

0:18:47 > 0:18:51but Lynda's name at birth was spelt with a Y in Lynda

0:18:51 > 0:18:53but the marriage record we found on the index

0:18:53 > 0:18:56has indicated that it was spelt with an I.

0:18:56 > 0:19:00But we continued to look at that person and what we found was it was definitely the right person

0:19:00 > 0:19:03but it would have been an error on the marriage indexes,

0:19:03 > 0:19:06which is quite a common thing that people should look out for

0:19:06 > 0:19:12when they're searching because quite often there are errors and mistakes on these records.

0:19:12 > 0:19:15And the search didn't get any easier.

0:19:15 > 0:19:18Dave discovered Lynda had married twice again,

0:19:18 > 0:19:20which meant two more name changes.

0:19:20 > 0:19:22I think the breakthrough moment probably came

0:19:22 > 0:19:26when we found somebody living in Shoeburyness in Essex,

0:19:26 > 0:19:30which is where we'd known Lynda to last be,

0:19:30 > 0:19:33and she had the first name Lynda spelt with a Y.

0:19:33 > 0:19:37She had the middle name of Jane and the exact same date of birth.

0:19:37 > 0:19:40That really... At that point, we were fairly confident

0:19:40 > 0:19:41that she was the right person,

0:19:41 > 0:19:44we just needed to go away and investigate her a little bit further

0:19:44 > 0:19:48to make sure that she tallied up with all the information.

0:19:48 > 0:19:51Just a couple of weeks later, Graham got a phone call.

0:19:53 > 0:19:56When I got a call to say that they had actually located

0:19:56 > 0:20:00a last known address, I could not believe it.

0:20:00 > 0:20:02I thought, "After all the time I've spent doing it

0:20:02 > 0:20:05"and yet they've done it in a couple of weeks."

0:20:06 > 0:20:08Without any delay,

0:20:08 > 0:20:12I sent a letter off to her and gave her all the details that I had.

0:20:13 > 0:20:18But after a search that had already led him down so many dead ends,

0:20:18 > 0:20:22Graham was cautious about his chances of success.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24I was, obviously, in some sort of trepidation

0:20:24 > 0:20:28in that perhaps I've been raising my hopes far too high

0:20:28 > 0:20:32and that it turns out that somebody somewhere along the line

0:20:32 > 0:20:33has got it wrong.

0:20:33 > 0:20:38It's the wrong address or the information is not valid

0:20:38 > 0:20:43or that somebody didn't want to know about it.

0:20:43 > 0:20:45You know, it's all a long time ago.

0:20:45 > 0:20:47So what. It's all over and done with.

0:20:47 > 0:20:49Tear it up. Throw it away.

0:20:49 > 0:20:53All Graham's years of searching now rested on one letter.

0:21:01 > 0:21:04120 miles away in Southampton,

0:21:04 > 0:21:05Sarah Walker had succeeded

0:21:05 > 0:21:10in her 25-year quest to find her mother's blood relatives.

0:21:10 > 0:21:16The culmination of half my life's work is just wonderful.

0:21:16 > 0:21:20But, assuming that her mum's half-sister, Muriel, would now be dead,

0:21:20 > 0:21:23she turned her attention to tracing Muriel's children, instead.

0:21:25 > 0:21:30Having found out that Muriel had seven children,

0:21:30 > 0:21:33I then started investigating each child

0:21:33 > 0:21:37and I found marriages for six of them

0:21:37 > 0:21:40and I found the births of their children.

0:21:40 > 0:21:43It was very exciting looking at names

0:21:43 > 0:21:45that were going to be my cousins,

0:21:45 > 0:21:49and it all... It made it very real for me.

0:21:49 > 0:21:54However, Sarah was about to receive some extraordinary news.

0:21:54 > 0:21:56I was updating records on Ancestry

0:21:56 > 0:22:00and was contacted completely out of the blue

0:22:00 > 0:22:06by an ex-relative of my aunt who announced that she was still alive

0:22:06 > 0:22:11and that she talked to her on a fairly regular basis.

0:22:11 > 0:22:16Jeannie's half-sister, Muriel, was alive and living in Australia.

0:22:16 > 0:22:18Sarah couldn't wait to tell her mum.

0:22:18 > 0:22:24She then called me and said, "Wait for this, I've found your sister."

0:22:33 > 0:22:35And, erm...

0:22:37 > 0:22:41And she said that she lives in Australia

0:22:41 > 0:22:46and she's been married three times and has seven children.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49It was a lot to take in.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52You know, it's incredible.

0:22:52 > 0:22:55Sarah e-mailed Muriel immediately.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58I first wrote to Muriel

0:22:58 > 0:23:05on the eighth of May at seven minutes past ten.

0:23:05 > 0:23:09At 20 past ten, I received my first reply.

0:23:09 > 0:23:14"Dear Sarah, I can't begin to tell you how exciting this is,

0:23:14 > 0:23:16"to find that I have an extended family,

0:23:16 > 0:23:21"the sad part is that we have only just found out. If only I'd known."

0:23:22 > 0:23:24To finally make contact

0:23:24 > 0:23:30after so many years of searching for information on her father,

0:23:30 > 0:23:36my mother's father, and knowing that she finally existed...

0:23:36 > 0:23:37just wonderful.

0:23:37 > 0:23:39A feeling of completion...

0:23:42 > 0:23:49..and...and disappointment because we hadn't met before.

0:23:50 > 0:23:55My aunt got to the age of just short of 90 years old

0:23:55 > 0:23:58not knowing she ever had a sister.

0:24:00 > 0:24:04Just a day later and Sarah received a phone call

0:24:04 > 0:24:06from one of Muriel's sons, Franz.

0:24:08 > 0:24:12Franz and his brother Ricky are two of Muriel's seven children.

0:24:12 > 0:24:15They stayed in the UK when their mother moved to Australia.

0:24:17 > 0:24:19Mother was like...

0:24:19 > 0:24:22- a mother hen. She... - Mother was very protective.

0:24:22 > 0:24:24Very protective.

0:24:25 > 0:24:28Their mother, Muriel, had been abandoned by her own mother

0:24:28 > 0:24:30as a child.

0:24:30 > 0:24:33Her mother walked out one day and said goodbye to her.

0:24:33 > 0:24:36She told her to go next door to a neighbour

0:24:36 > 0:24:40and that is the last time that she ever saw or heard from her mother.

0:24:40 > 0:24:44Shortly afterwards, her father placed her in foster care.

0:24:44 > 0:24:50Nobody sort of wanting her, not a lot of love given to her.

0:24:50 > 0:24:55I think Mother's past shaped her future

0:24:55 > 0:24:58of how she dealt with everything in her life.

0:24:59 > 0:25:00Out of her hard times,

0:25:00 > 0:25:03she's tried to give us good times and she's done a good job.

0:25:03 > 0:25:07She was missing a lot of affection in her early life.

0:25:07 > 0:25:09Therefore, when we came along as children,

0:25:09 > 0:25:14we were smothered in affection and love by our mother.

0:25:14 > 0:25:15- Yeah.- Yeah, she was.

0:25:16 > 0:25:19What she had missed she wanted us to have.

0:25:19 > 0:25:24Mother would be forever darning the backsides of our trousers

0:25:24 > 0:25:28because we used to come home with holes in everything all the time.

0:25:28 > 0:25:32We'd go scrumping and she'd take the apples home

0:25:32 > 0:25:33and she'd tell us off for scrumping

0:25:33 > 0:25:36- but make an apple pie. - THEY CHUCKLE

0:25:36 > 0:25:40I don't think anybody could have asked for a better mum.

0:25:40 > 0:25:44Muriel grew up in the UK with her foster family.

0:25:44 > 0:25:49She emigrated to Australia in 1978 where she has lived ever since.

0:25:49 > 0:25:52She wasn't aware she had a younger half-sister

0:25:52 > 0:25:55until Sarah got in touch out of the blue.

0:25:56 > 0:25:57She was so excited.

0:25:57 > 0:26:02She was like a child. She was bubbling with excitement...

0:26:04 > 0:26:08..to find her sister at her age - I mean, she was then 90, I think -

0:26:08 > 0:26:10to have lived that long and not known.

0:26:10 > 0:26:15We even lived a few miles apart at one time in Birmingham

0:26:15 > 0:26:17and not known about each other.

0:26:17 > 0:26:21As Muriel was halfway round the world in Australia,

0:26:21 > 0:26:22Sarah and Jeannie never imagined

0:26:22 > 0:26:25they would ever meet her face-to-face.

0:26:25 > 0:26:30I was planning my 50th birthday party in June

0:26:31 > 0:26:34when I heard from Muriel

0:26:34 > 0:26:38that she was thinking about coming over for four months.

0:26:38 > 0:26:39"Could we meet up?"

0:26:39 > 0:26:43I said to my mother, "Let's hold a family reunion for Muriel

0:26:43 > 0:26:46"and as many of her children and grandchildren

0:26:46 > 0:26:48"and great-grandchildren who can come."

0:26:48 > 0:26:50I was really excited.

0:26:50 > 0:26:53You know, the thought that we were actually...

0:26:53 > 0:26:57We'd spoken but the thought that we were actually going to be able

0:26:57 > 0:27:01to talk face-to-face.

0:27:01 > 0:27:02It was incredible.

0:27:02 > 0:27:09When I heard my aunt arrive, I went straight out and gave her a big hug.

0:27:09 > 0:27:13- Oh, dear.- It's wonderful, isn't it? - I know - absolutely wonderful.

0:27:13 > 0:27:16- And amazing. - 'I felt such a huge bond with her.'

0:27:17 > 0:27:20Somebody was filming us

0:27:20 > 0:27:25and then I brought her through and they met for the first time

0:27:25 > 0:27:28and there were tears all round.

0:27:28 > 0:27:32It was as though we'd known each other for a long time.

0:27:32 > 0:27:38I hadn't thought that meeting a sister could be...

0:27:39 > 0:27:41..quite so emotional.

0:27:44 > 0:27:50It did feel as though it was a real relationship.

0:27:50 > 0:27:54I couldn't believe the similarities visually

0:27:54 > 0:27:56and I think the fact that

0:27:56 > 0:28:00they developed a sisterly bond now is amazing.

0:28:00 > 0:28:03In the end, I had to ask them to stop hugging each other

0:28:03 > 0:28:05because it made me cry every time.

0:28:05 > 0:28:09I've never seen so many tears shed from two ladies.

0:28:11 > 0:28:14A really happy time for my mother

0:28:14 > 0:28:18of which I am completely thankful...absolutely thankful for.

0:28:20 > 0:28:25I don't remember seeing her cry so much or so happy.

0:28:25 > 0:28:27That day when Jeannie and Mum met

0:28:27 > 0:28:30must have been one of the most memorable days of her life.

0:28:32 > 0:28:36It was wonderful and we talked nonstop.

0:28:37 > 0:28:43That made me even...wish even more that I'd known her.

0:28:43 > 0:28:45You know, when I was about 19 or so.

0:28:48 > 0:28:53We would have had some fun, I'm sure we would.

0:28:53 > 0:28:55Now the two sisters have found each other,

0:28:55 > 0:28:58both have discovered a family they never knew they had

0:28:58 > 0:29:01and they stay in regular contact via the internet.

0:29:04 > 0:29:09Today, the two UK sides of the family are reuniting again.

0:29:09 > 0:29:11Muriel's sons Franz and Ricky

0:29:11 > 0:29:14are meeting their new-found aunt and cousin

0:29:14 > 0:29:15to find out more about the grandfather

0:29:15 > 0:29:18they never knew, Alexander.

0:29:19 > 0:29:22- Well!- Hello.- Welcome.

0:29:22 > 0:29:25- Thank you.- Oh, it's good to see you.

0:29:25 > 0:29:27- And you, darling, you all right? - Oh, yes.

0:29:27 > 0:29:29- Sarah, hello.- Hello.

0:29:29 > 0:29:34Oh, yes, I'm fine thank you. Lovely to see you.

0:29:34 > 0:29:36- Are you all right? You're looking good.- Thank you ever so much.

0:29:36 > 0:29:39- You're welcome.- Thank you.

0:29:39 > 0:29:41Sarah's managed to track down a photo

0:29:41 > 0:29:44of their mutual grandfather, Alexander.

0:29:44 > 0:29:46When was the last time you saw your father?

0:29:46 > 0:29:48Oh.

0:29:48 > 0:29:521966, I think.

0:29:54 > 0:29:57Even as late as 1966, if he had just said something...

0:29:57 > 0:29:59- Yes.- Yeah.- You know.

0:29:59 > 0:30:01That's the first time I've ever seen my grandfather, yeah.

0:30:01 > 0:30:03- Oh, wow.- Yeah. Properly like that.

0:30:03 > 0:30:05- Yeah, it's fascinating.- Yeah.

0:30:05 > 0:30:08Sarah's research has uncovered a wealth of information

0:30:08 > 0:30:12about her, Franz and Ricky's grandfather,

0:30:12 > 0:30:15including his request to become a British citizen.

0:30:15 > 0:30:21So, this is the application for a naturalisation certificate

0:30:21 > 0:30:26and we've got information here about exactly where he was born.

0:30:26 > 0:30:29He sailed from Murmansk, North Russia.

0:30:29 > 0:30:30He was an Ordinary Seaman,

0:30:30 > 0:30:35- landed in Cardiff...- That's amazing. - ..so it gives a lot of details here.

0:30:35 > 0:30:37I can see that.

0:30:37 > 0:30:39And if only I'd realised

0:30:39 > 0:30:43exactly what information this would have given me,

0:30:43 > 0:30:45I would have found you all a lot sooner.

0:30:45 > 0:30:49- FRANZ:- A lot earlier. Well, it's fascinating.

0:30:49 > 0:30:51It's things we never knew about.

0:30:51 > 0:30:54Mainly because we didn't know we had a grandad at all.

0:30:54 > 0:31:00There's one other family member keen to join in today's reunion.

0:31:00 > 0:31:02- MURIEL:- Lovely to see you, Judy.

0:31:02 > 0:31:05Oh, it's great to see you, Muriel.

0:31:05 > 0:31:07We should have known each other years ago.

0:31:07 > 0:31:10- Oh, 30 years ago at least.- Yes.

0:31:10 > 0:31:14- That's right.- Yes. Yes. It should have been a long time ago.

0:31:14 > 0:31:17We're making up for lost time, though, meeting up.

0:31:17 > 0:31:23- Yes.- It wonderful that we're able to talk to each other like this.

0:31:23 > 0:31:29For me to have my two nephews here when five years ago,

0:31:29 > 0:31:31I didn't know they existed.

0:31:31 > 0:31:35It was nice to Skype tonight and the fact that we could do it together...

0:31:35 > 0:31:37I was with my aunt and my mother

0:31:37 > 0:31:41and the boys were with their aunt and their mother

0:31:41 > 0:31:42- and it was really nice.- Yes.

0:31:42 > 0:31:46- It's been lovely talking to you again, Muriel.- Yes.

0:31:46 > 0:31:48- Absolutely lovely. - Lovely to see you, as well.

0:31:48 > 0:31:50- Yes.- Yes.

0:31:50 > 0:31:52That makes a difference, doesn't it?

0:31:53 > 0:31:55Lots of love.

0:31:55 > 0:31:56- Bye-bye. - RICKY:- See you, Mum.

0:31:56 > 0:31:58- FRANZ:- Bye. - Bye, Muriel.

0:31:58 > 0:32:01This has been beyond my widest dreams.

0:32:01 > 0:32:06To be able to reunite my mother and her sister

0:32:06 > 0:32:09has just been unbelievable.

0:32:09 > 0:32:15I'm so glad that we have been able to meet all of Muriel's children...

0:32:15 > 0:32:20- Yes.- And to get on so well with them.

0:32:20 > 0:32:24I am very thankful to Sarah for doing the work she's done

0:32:24 > 0:32:28and finding out as much as she has done and uniting us all.

0:32:30 > 0:32:34We've had nothing but positive things come to us

0:32:34 > 0:32:36over the past four years.

0:32:36 > 0:32:44Every single member of their family has embraced us as their family.

0:32:45 > 0:32:47And it's been wonderful.

0:32:47 > 0:32:48See you soon.

0:32:48 > 0:32:50- Bye.- Nice to see you.

0:33:00 > 0:33:05Graham Holloway was trying to solve his own family conundrum.

0:33:05 > 0:33:07He hadn't seen his older sister, Lynda,

0:33:07 > 0:33:09since they were children living in care.

0:33:10 > 0:33:13A family-finding company had tracked down an address for Lynda,

0:33:13 > 0:33:16and Graham had written a letter.

0:33:16 > 0:33:19Little did he know the address was out of date.

0:33:19 > 0:33:21But this time, luck was on Graham's side.

0:33:23 > 0:33:27Out of the blue, I got a message from my daughter

0:33:27 > 0:33:32to say that a letter had arrived at her father's house,

0:33:32 > 0:33:34addressed to me,

0:33:34 > 0:33:41and it had my birth name on it and my new surname.

0:33:41 > 0:33:44And she said, "I hope you don't mind, Mum," she said,

0:33:44 > 0:33:48"but it looked rather important so I've opened it."

0:33:48 > 0:33:51And she said, "Do you want me to read the letter to you?"

0:33:51 > 0:33:53Which she did.

0:33:54 > 0:33:58"Dear Lynda, Following several years of trying to locate you,

0:33:58 > 0:34:01"I believe I may at last have done so.

0:34:01 > 0:34:06"Do recall being taken into care as was I in 1951.

0:34:06 > 0:34:10"Can you confirm that these details ring a bell?

0:34:10 > 0:34:14"I apologise if I imposed but earnestly believe

0:34:14 > 0:34:18"that I may finally have made contact with the right person.

0:34:18 > 0:34:20"Please confirm this ASAP.

0:34:20 > 0:34:22"Regards for the time being, Graham."

0:34:24 > 0:34:26And I thought, "What shall I do here?

0:34:27 > 0:34:28"Do I e-mail him?

0:34:30 > 0:34:32"Do I telephone him?"

0:34:32 > 0:34:35And I just took the bull by the horns and just dialled the number.

0:34:35 > 0:34:36And he answered.

0:34:36 > 0:34:41And I just said, "Graham, this is Lynda."

0:34:41 > 0:34:43It was incredible.

0:34:43 > 0:34:44Absolutely incredible.

0:34:44 > 0:34:48That after 63 years or thereabouts,

0:34:48 > 0:34:50we actually caught up with each other.

0:34:50 > 0:34:53I hadn't spoken to Graham for 60 years.

0:34:55 > 0:34:57At least 60 years.

0:34:58 > 0:35:02He did say that he wanted to see me

0:35:02 > 0:35:05and what was the best way to do it.

0:35:05 > 0:35:06I said, "Great."

0:35:06 > 0:35:09I said, "I'll be down to Southend in a shake of a lamb's tail."

0:35:09 > 0:35:11And she said, "That won't do you any good." I said, "Why not?"

0:35:11 > 0:35:13She said, "I don't live in Southend.

0:35:13 > 0:35:15"I don't live in Shoeburyness."

0:35:15 > 0:35:18I said, "Where do you live?" She said, "Cyprus."

0:35:21 > 0:35:25Graham had finally tracked down his big sister -

0:35:25 > 0:35:2960 years on and 2,000 miles away from where they last saw each other.

0:35:30 > 0:35:36I can remember him as a little, ginger, curly-haired boy.

0:35:38 > 0:35:41So I knew he was my brother but they kept us apart.

0:35:43 > 0:35:46On a couple of occasions, Graham and I were fostered together

0:35:46 > 0:35:48but, obviously, it didn't work out

0:35:48 > 0:35:54because we were sent back to Seaview Homes

0:35:54 > 0:35:58and then I was fostered, singly,

0:35:58 > 0:36:02to my wonderful foster parents who gave me a good life.

0:36:04 > 0:36:05It was a loving home.

0:36:08 > 0:36:10My foster parents did everything for me.

0:36:10 > 0:36:13I wasn't the easiest person for them to deal with.

0:36:13 > 0:36:16But I'm very grateful to them for what they did for me.

0:36:17 > 0:36:19But I never saw Graham again.

0:36:19 > 0:36:22I think it would be completely different now.

0:36:22 > 0:36:26I think they would make an effort to keep children together.

0:36:26 > 0:36:29Not to force them apart.

0:36:29 > 0:36:34The effect is that I spent all my life wondering

0:36:34 > 0:36:37whether he was alive, whether he was dead.

0:36:37 > 0:36:39It was always at the back of my mind.

0:36:39 > 0:36:41Where was my brother?

0:36:41 > 0:36:44"I know I had a brother. Where is he?"

0:36:46 > 0:36:50I did go through procedures to try and find him.

0:36:50 > 0:36:52Salvation Army, Southend Council.

0:36:54 > 0:36:58All the normal routes that you'd take to try and get some history.

0:36:58 > 0:37:00Salvation Army were very helpful

0:37:00 > 0:37:03but said they could not give me any information

0:37:03 > 0:37:06apart from the fact he was legally adopted.

0:37:06 > 0:37:10I thought, "Well, there isn't any hope of me ever finding him

0:37:10 > 0:37:12"because I don't know his surname.

0:37:12 > 0:37:15"I've got nothing to go on.

0:37:15 > 0:37:17"I don't know where he lives."

0:37:18 > 0:37:21So it was a dead end for me so, really,

0:37:21 > 0:37:25I left it although I never stopped thinking about him

0:37:25 > 0:37:28and always hoped that one day he might just turn up out of the blue.

0:37:30 > 0:37:33And 60 years after they lost contact,

0:37:33 > 0:37:36that's exactly what Graham did.

0:37:36 > 0:37:38And now he had finally found Lynda,

0:37:38 > 0:37:41Graham wasn't going to let anything get in the way of their reunion.

0:37:43 > 0:37:45Having discovered that I had the right person,

0:37:45 > 0:37:48having discovered that she lived in Cyprus,

0:37:48 > 0:37:51I told her that I'd be over there as soon as possible

0:37:51 > 0:37:54in order to visit her and which I did

0:37:54 > 0:37:56because I was there within a week.

0:37:57 > 0:38:00As we walked through the baggage collection

0:38:00 > 0:38:04and through to the arrivals lounge, as it were,

0:38:04 > 0:38:06we saw each other.

0:38:06 > 0:38:08Lyn was already on her feet

0:38:08 > 0:38:12cos she'd spotted me from, you know, yards away.

0:38:12 > 0:38:15And I just ran to him...

0:38:17 > 0:38:18..and threw my arms round him.

0:38:18 > 0:38:20He was crying, I was crying.

0:38:21 > 0:38:24- Very emotional.- Floods of tears.

0:38:24 > 0:38:26All over the place.

0:38:26 > 0:38:2860 years is a long time

0:38:28 > 0:38:32but you never forget that there is another member of your family.

0:38:32 > 0:38:34And it was so emotional.

0:38:35 > 0:38:38I've never known anything like it before. It's incredible.

0:38:40 > 0:38:42And still is.

0:38:42 > 0:38:44After so many years, you just give up hope.

0:38:47 > 0:38:50But this just goes to show, you shouldn't ever give up hope.

0:38:53 > 0:38:57It's been two and a half years since Lynda and Graham were first reunited.

0:38:57 > 0:38:59But with Lynda in Cyprus,

0:38:59 > 0:39:01they can't get together as often as they'd like.

0:39:03 > 0:39:06So they've planned a special trip to the hometown where they lost touch

0:39:06 > 0:39:07over 60 years ago.

0:39:09 > 0:39:10I do feel really nervous today.

0:39:12 > 0:39:16A bit like the first time I saw him, to be honest.

0:39:16 > 0:39:18Quite emotional.

0:39:18 > 0:39:21And we've still got a lot of catching up to do.

0:39:21 > 0:39:25We have both lived very different lives, I think.

0:39:25 > 0:39:27And it would be nice to know

0:39:27 > 0:39:32more about Graham's foster homes and when he was finally adopted legally,

0:39:32 > 0:39:36which was, I think, probably a wonderful thing for him.

0:39:51 > 0:39:54I can't believe it.

0:39:54 > 0:39:56I cannot believe it.

0:39:58 > 0:40:01- What are we going to find to talk about then?- Oh, everything.

0:40:04 > 0:40:08Remarkably, these two siblings both lived in Southend

0:40:08 > 0:40:12for many years of their lives, not knowing the other was still there.

0:40:13 > 0:40:16So today brings a chance to make up for lost time

0:40:16 > 0:40:18and share their memories of the town.

0:40:18 > 0:40:21I used to think that was France over there when I was a little girl.

0:40:21 > 0:40:23Yeah, so did I.

0:40:23 > 0:40:25I'd go, "Oh, let's go to France."

0:40:29 > 0:40:32- Do you remember the... Was it The Ship?- Yes.

0:40:32 > 0:40:34That was there. That's gone.

0:40:37 > 0:40:39Well, there used to be a pub about every ten yards along here.

0:40:39 > 0:40:43- Or every 20 yards.- There still... Well, there is cos there's The Fal... Well...

0:40:43 > 0:40:45Yeah, The Falcon. Yes.

0:40:45 > 0:40:48That used to be a boating lake over there.

0:40:48 > 0:40:50- Did it not?- Yes, it did.

0:40:50 > 0:40:55- And there used to be a boat go out over to the other side...- Kent.

0:40:55 > 0:40:57- Kent.- Yeah.

0:40:57 > 0:41:00It turns out Lynda and Graham's paths may have crossed

0:41:00 > 0:41:02without them knowing it.

0:41:02 > 0:41:05For many years, Lynda worked in the bank on the high street.

0:41:07 > 0:41:09Here you are, Graham. This is where I used to work.

0:41:11 > 0:41:13- You're joking. - No. I used to work here.

0:41:13 > 0:41:17For heaven's sake, I used to drink in the pub down there.

0:41:17 > 0:41:19We must have walked passed each other dozens of times.

0:41:19 > 0:41:20Dozens.

0:41:22 > 0:41:27It seems only right to pop into Graham's old watering hole to celebrate.

0:41:27 > 0:41:29This is nice. Cheers.

0:41:29 > 0:41:30Cheers to you.

0:41:30 > 0:41:31Cheers.

0:41:34 > 0:41:36Lynda's been tracking down their records

0:41:36 > 0:41:41and it's the first time Graham has seen their fostering paperwork.

0:41:41 > 0:41:44There's a few little things in here that are quite interesting.

0:41:46 > 0:41:48The fact that the two of us being together...

0:41:48 > 0:41:51- Yeah.- ..wasn't working out very well.- Hmm.

0:41:52 > 0:41:57And, basically, that I was stopping your chance of having a good home.

0:41:57 > 0:42:03- Huh.- So, they decided to leave you there and take me back to the home.

0:42:03 > 0:42:05Did they, indeed?

0:42:05 > 0:42:07At which time you were quite happily playing in the garden

0:42:07 > 0:42:09with your toys.

0:42:09 > 0:42:12Had you been you aware of any of this proposal at all?

0:42:12 > 0:42:14No. It would appear that I was...

0:42:15 > 0:42:18..the main culprit in our being separated

0:42:18 > 0:42:20from what I've read from these notes.

0:42:20 > 0:42:23See, it says here that I have outbreaks of temper,

0:42:23 > 0:42:25which apparently I still do.

0:42:25 > 0:42:27SHE LAUGHS

0:42:27 > 0:42:29I got through. I got by.

0:42:29 > 0:42:31You got through. You got by.

0:42:31 > 0:42:33And at the end of the day, that's the important thing.

0:42:33 > 0:42:37We are now who we are and we know why we are who we are

0:42:37 > 0:42:38and we accept each other's thoughts.

0:42:38 > 0:42:43And we can understand it more now because we know more about each other's movements.

0:42:43 > 0:42:48Having my sister back in my life after a long, long time

0:42:48 > 0:42:53has just been one of the most fantastic experiences of my life.

0:42:53 > 0:42:57I feel like I now have the brother that I've not had for 60 years

0:42:57 > 0:43:02and there's still lots we can talk about and lots of memories

0:43:02 > 0:43:04and lots for the future.

0:43:04 > 0:43:07I'm really proud to have you as a sister.

0:43:07 > 0:43:10Oh, thank you.