0:00:02 > 0:00:04Families can be driven apart for all manner of reasons.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07I had no information at all about where my mum went.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10And when you do lose touch with your loved ones...
0:00:10 > 0:00:12You don't know who you are, where you've come from.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14..finding them can take a lifetime...
0:00:14 > 0:00:18I might have a brother that's still living here.
0:00:18 > 0:00:23..especially when they could be anywhere - at home or abroad.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26And that's where the family finders come in,
0:00:26 > 0:00:28from international organisations...
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Hi, it's the Salvation Army Family Tracing Service.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34..to genealogy detective agencies...
0:00:34 > 0:00:37For someone to say that it's changed their life,
0:00:37 > 0:00:40it makes coming to work really, really special.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42..and dedicated one-man bands.
0:00:42 > 0:00:46It's a matter of how much effort you really want to put into it,
0:00:46 > 0:00:48how badly you want to solve the problem.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52They hunt through history to bring families back together again.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55Finding new family is wonderful.
0:00:55 > 0:00:59In this series, we follow the work of the family finders...
0:00:59 > 0:01:04Suddenly, you get one spark of breakthrough and there they are.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06..learning the tricks they use
0:01:06 > 0:01:08to track missing relatives through time...
0:01:08 > 0:01:13I didn't think I'd ever find sisters but I have.
0:01:13 > 0:01:17..and meeting the people whose lives they change along the way.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19I've been waiting to meet John my whole life.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22Since we've met, I feel part of a family again.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26You've just completed my life for me.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35Every year, thousands of people across the UK
0:01:35 > 0:01:38set about searching for long-lost family members.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41No two searches are ever quite the same.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Often a search will throw up unexpected results
0:01:45 > 0:01:50and it can take something completely unexpected for a search to succeed.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55Today, we hear how a boy, adopted as a baby,
0:01:55 > 0:01:58finally found family to call his own.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02I had a tap on the shoulder and there they were.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06That was... That was something else.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12And we meet two sisters who spent 50 years apart
0:02:12 > 0:02:14and led completely different lives.
0:02:14 > 0:02:20I was absolutely fascinated by meeting someone
0:02:20 > 0:02:22that looked so much like me.
0:02:25 > 0:02:29In the post-war years, despite the social stigma,
0:02:29 > 0:02:32babies being born to unmarried mothers was on the increase.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36So were family secrets and cover-ups.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Often the truth never came out and in the case of Rob Skinner,
0:02:40 > 0:02:44it took over 50 years to unravel the real story behind his birth.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Rob was born in Croydon in 1943.
0:02:52 > 0:02:57The family didn't have much in the way of money
0:02:57 > 0:03:00and lived on a council estate.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Nice three-bedroom house.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06My two sisters were older than me.
0:03:06 > 0:03:13June was 12 years, Cath, 15 years older.
0:03:13 > 0:03:19My father left my mother when I was about three years of age.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23A few years after his dad left,
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Rob's mum started a long-term relationship
0:03:25 > 0:03:29with a man Rob affectionately referred to as Uncle Albert
0:03:29 > 0:03:33and the family began taking in foster children.
0:03:33 > 0:03:38We had a succession of foster children, boys and girls.
0:03:38 > 0:03:43We never had much money but we did, we did enjoy life.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47I guess I was a very contented child.
0:03:47 > 0:03:52You made your own fun just doing what boys did in those days.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Contented family life in the Skinner household continued
0:03:57 > 0:03:59until, at the age of 16,
0:03:59 > 0:04:02a shocking revelation was to change Rob's life forever.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05I left school
0:04:05 > 0:04:12and my prospective employer wanted to see my birth certificate.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16I can vividly remember Ma looking for the certificate
0:04:16 > 0:04:19and, while she was doing so, called out to me,
0:04:19 > 0:04:22"Of course, you realise you were adopted."
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Oh, no, I didn't.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30This was the first intimation that I'd had and...
0:04:32 > 0:04:35..I was taken aback a bit.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Despite the fact that he'd grown up
0:04:39 > 0:04:42in an ever-changing household of foster children,
0:04:42 > 0:04:47until now, Rob had no clue that the woman he'd grown up calling Mum
0:04:47 > 0:04:49wasn't, in fact, related to him.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53I just thought that I was, perhaps, a little different.
0:04:54 > 0:04:59I'd seen foster brothers and sisters come along and go.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03I always assumed that I was the real deal.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06And something that I did shows me
0:05:06 > 0:05:09that I wasn't particularly happy with the state of affairs.
0:05:09 > 0:05:14After presenting it to my employer as evidence,
0:05:14 > 0:05:16I then tore up the certificate
0:05:16 > 0:05:20and had it replaced by a shortened version
0:05:20 > 0:05:22that didn't show the word "adopted".
0:05:25 > 0:05:30Rob put the adoption shock behind him and got on with his life.
0:05:30 > 0:05:34He went on to become an insurance salesman, met Brenda,
0:05:34 > 0:05:36married and had three children.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40There were times when I wondered who my...
0:05:41 > 0:05:44..mother and father might be,
0:05:44 > 0:05:49but I never, ever asked Ma for detail.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53The main reason why I wasn't curious
0:05:53 > 0:05:57about my blood mother and father
0:05:57 > 0:06:02was because I was, I guess, supremely happy with where I was
0:06:02 > 0:06:04and didn't want to rock the boat.
0:06:07 > 0:06:12But, in 2009, a serious health scare made Rob re-evaluate.
0:06:12 > 0:06:16I had a reasonably serious heart problem
0:06:16 > 0:06:19that was resolved with open-heart surgery.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22A number of times, I was asked about medical history,
0:06:22 > 0:06:24family medical history.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27I was unable to give them an answer but...
0:06:29 > 0:06:33..now, perhaps, I thought, would be a good time to find out.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37By now, Rob's adoptive mother had died
0:06:37 > 0:06:40and he felt free to explore his origins.
0:06:40 > 0:06:45My son Harvey's partner was very interested in genealogy
0:06:45 > 0:06:51and that encouraged me to start looking into the subject
0:06:51 > 0:06:54and do some research.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01This is the adoption order that shows my mother's name -
0:07:01 > 0:07:05Pauline Blanche Turner, an unusual name -
0:07:05 > 0:07:09and that she came down to Croydon to give birth to me
0:07:09 > 0:07:13in what used to be known as a home for unmarried mothers.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17The search was basically for Pauline Blanche
0:07:17 > 0:07:20and, it being such an unusual name,
0:07:20 > 0:07:23a match was made in a very straightforward manner.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28Rob soon discovered that he wasn't alone in his online search
0:07:28 > 0:07:31for information on his birth mother.
0:07:31 > 0:07:36Our initial contact proved that somebody was looking...
0:07:37 > 0:07:42..for relatives of Pauline Blanche Turner, which was a positive sign.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47Rob's daughter-in-law acted quickly and composed a message.
0:07:47 > 0:07:52I opened the email. It's very sensitively written.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55"I am aware that this may be a delicate subject.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58"His father, Robin, was born in April, 1943,
0:07:58 > 0:08:00"to a Pauline Blanche Turner.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02"He was not aware that he was adopted
0:08:02 > 0:08:04"until he needed his birth certificate."
0:08:04 > 0:08:07There's only one Pauline Blanche Turner on the website
0:08:07 > 0:08:08and that's my mother.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11After an agonising wait,
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Rob received the response he was hoping for.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17On 24th January,
0:08:17 > 0:08:21we had an email from Martin,
0:08:21 > 0:08:26who identified himself as a son of Pauline.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32"I will be very willing to help you in any way with information
0:08:32 > 0:08:35"and I've been trying to find Robin for the previous seven years,
0:08:35 > 0:08:37"after talking to my mother about him.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40"With Best wishes, Martin."
0:08:42 > 0:08:48That, indeed, was the eureka moment when we knew we had family.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53After many years of searching for his birth mother,
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Rob had stumbled across a real-life blood brother.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58But there was more to come.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02It appears that we have a man who was jilted.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05It's really intriguing because it's just not the story
0:09:05 > 0:09:08that we've been following, is it, all these years?
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Families can be separated by death, divorce, war,
0:09:17 > 0:09:19any number of reasons...
0:09:20 > 0:09:23..meaning siblings can find themselves
0:09:23 > 0:09:25on completely different life paths.
0:09:28 > 0:09:32Sue De-Haven was born to a single mother in 1960.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36I was born in a Salvation Army hospital in Bristol.
0:09:38 > 0:09:39After I was born,
0:09:39 > 0:09:42my birth mother experienced quite a lot of health problems,
0:09:42 > 0:09:46so I wasn't able to be with her consistently.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51Sue never knew her father and soon after her birth,
0:09:51 > 0:09:53her mother met a new partner.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56She married in 1961,
0:09:56 > 0:10:00approximately a year after I was born
0:10:00 > 0:10:04and had another daughter called Eileen,
0:10:04 > 0:10:07who was 17 months younger than me.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09After Eileen was born,
0:10:09 > 0:10:13we were both with our mother for a short period of time
0:10:13 > 0:10:17until, unfortunately, she wasn't well
0:10:17 > 0:10:22and we both went into care into Downend babies home.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28Eileen was discharged from the baby home and went to live with her dad.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Sue remained and was taken under the wing
0:10:31 > 0:10:33of a young nurse called Dilys Jenkins,
0:10:33 > 0:10:35who worked at the children's home.
0:10:36 > 0:10:41Dilys...spent a lot of time with me
0:10:41 > 0:10:45cos that was the area or the house that she was working in.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49She was allowed to take me home at weekends
0:10:49 > 0:10:54as part of her NNEB training final papers.
0:10:57 > 0:11:02In the 1960s, nursery nursing became a popular career choice for women.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07The newly-founded NHS was going from strength to strength
0:11:07 > 0:11:11and the NNEB, or National Nursery Examination Board, course
0:11:11 > 0:11:14was highly respected and internationally recognised.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19It had entry requirements and competition for places was tough
0:11:19 > 0:11:22but the women who qualified could enjoy jobs for life
0:11:22 > 0:11:24in both public and private sectors
0:11:24 > 0:11:28or, at least, until they married and settled down to have families.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33It was whilst Dilys was studying for her NNEB
0:11:33 > 0:11:36that baby Sue was entrusted to her care
0:11:36 > 0:11:38and the young nurse began taking her to stay
0:11:38 > 0:11:41at her parents' family home in Chippenham.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46She took me home to her parents'
0:11:46 > 0:11:50and, um, they immediately fell in love me
0:11:50 > 0:11:54and I started to go there for weekends regularly.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58I used to cry and scream and make an awful fuss
0:11:58 > 0:12:01when I had to go back to the children's home.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06On a visit in early 1963,
0:12:06 > 0:12:09um, whilst visiting Chippenham with Dilys,
0:12:09 > 0:12:16we had the worst snow in the West Country for a lot of years
0:12:16 > 0:12:19and we were snowed in for three months.
0:12:20 > 0:12:25During that time, Dilys and her parents decided
0:12:25 > 0:12:29there was no way that they ever wanted to part with me again
0:12:29 > 0:12:31and they sought to adopt me.
0:12:33 > 0:12:38My adoptive parents would have liked to have fostered both Eileen and I
0:12:38 > 0:12:43but, unfortunately, they really didn't have the choice
0:12:43 > 0:12:45as whether they could have fostered both of us
0:12:45 > 0:12:47or adopted both of us, even.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Eileen remained in the care of her biological father,
0:12:51 > 0:12:54while her sister, Sue, had a happy childhood
0:12:54 > 0:12:56with Dilys and her parents in Chippenham.
0:12:56 > 0:13:01My life growing up with Dilys's family and my mum and dad
0:13:01 > 0:13:07and my other sister, Frances, was very special.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10As a child, I don't think I really absorbed
0:13:10 > 0:13:12what was happening very much.
0:13:12 > 0:13:16I didn't really think about Eileen at all at that stage.
0:13:16 > 0:13:21I just assumed that she was happy with her own family.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25Despite a contented childhood in the care of her adoptive parents,
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Sue never forgot her birth family.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30I absolutely adored my mum and dad
0:13:30 > 0:13:35but it doesn't take away that curiosity, I suppose,
0:13:35 > 0:13:40of wanting to know your natural roots.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45Not having any blood relatives that I knew of, then,
0:13:45 > 0:13:51always made me feel quite...alone inside.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53It wasn't until years later,
0:13:53 > 0:13:55when her adoptive mum and dad had died,
0:13:55 > 0:13:58that Sue decided the time was right to do some digging.
0:14:00 > 0:14:06When my adoptive mum died, I felt, suddenly, like I had permission
0:14:06 > 0:14:10to find out a bit more about my birth family
0:14:10 > 0:14:12because I didn't ever want my adoptive parents
0:14:12 > 0:14:14to think that they weren't good enough
0:14:14 > 0:14:18and that they weren't everything to me, because they were.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23With the desire to find blood relatives ignited,
0:14:23 > 0:14:27Sue decided to trace her half-sister, Eileen.
0:14:27 > 0:14:28I started looking online
0:14:28 > 0:14:32to try and build my family tree from ancestral sites
0:14:32 > 0:14:36and it was more complex than I first realised.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42After a time-consuming search and several dead ends,
0:14:42 > 0:14:46Sue's hunt had brought her no closer to finding her sister, Eileen,
0:14:46 > 0:14:48and reluctantly, she gave up.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53She may have given up on HER search,
0:14:53 > 0:14:55but the search hadn't given up on Sue.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Little did she know, just 20 miles away,
0:14:58 > 0:15:02someone else was intent on doing some family finding of their own.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06I feel a bit, like, um...jealous,
0:15:06 > 0:15:08because you had a really lovely upbringing and I...
0:15:08 > 0:15:11- Do you know what I mean? - Don't get upset.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14I sort of feel a bit jealous when I see all this.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24In Croydon, Ron Skinner had been trying to find his birth family,
0:15:24 > 0:15:27after finding out he'd been adopted during the war.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31A genealogy website had revealed that he wasn't the only one
0:15:31 > 0:15:35to be researching his natural mother, Pauline Blanche Turner,
0:15:35 > 0:15:37and any living relatives.
0:15:38 > 0:15:44Somebody was looking for relatives of Pauline Blanche Turner,
0:15:44 > 0:15:46which was a positive sign.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50Rob had made contact with the mystery person
0:15:50 > 0:15:53and discovered it was, in fact, a brother, Martin,
0:15:53 > 0:15:55who he'd never known existed.
0:15:56 > 0:16:01Rob actually phoned up my flat and I was listening to his voice,
0:16:01 > 0:16:04how he spoke, looking for similarities,
0:16:04 > 0:16:06who did he sound like, wondered what he looked like.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09It's like an experience you've never experienced before,
0:16:09 > 0:16:11like something you've always wanted
0:16:11 > 0:16:13and then you get it, it's overwhelming,
0:16:13 > 0:16:17and you're thinking, "Say the right things and ask the right questions."
0:16:20 > 0:16:24Twins Martin and Sue were born to Pauline Blanche Turner
0:16:24 > 0:16:27and her second husband and grew up in Harpenden.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31Our childhood was really happy.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34There was our natural father and mother and our older sister
0:16:34 > 0:16:37and it was just...
0:16:38 > 0:16:41- It was just really nice. - It was a happy time.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Yeah, it was a happy time.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46But unfortunately, their parents' marriage broke down,
0:16:46 > 0:16:50after which Pauline married again, had another baby
0:16:50 > 0:16:53and relocated the family northwards.
0:16:54 > 0:16:59My mum was very headstrong, quite fiery temper.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03I don't think she was strict, she wasn't strict.
0:17:03 > 0:17:08- Cuddles, kisses, very homely. - Always baking, always cooking.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12Believed that the home was somewhere where everyone chipped in, so...
0:17:12 > 0:17:17Oh, yeah. We all had to pull our weight, we all had our chores.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Growing up, young Martin and Sue were completely unaware
0:17:22 > 0:17:25that their mother had had a baby from a previous relationship,
0:17:25 > 0:17:27who she had given up for adoption.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30But as they got older,
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Pauline decided to share her secret with her children.
0:17:34 > 0:17:39I can remember being told about Rob around about the age of 14.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43Mum just said that she'd had another child,
0:17:43 > 0:17:47but she was only young and she had him adopted
0:17:47 > 0:17:50when he was six months old and I asked her why
0:17:50 > 0:17:54and she just said because HER mother, my grandmother, told her to.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57It must have been difficult for her
0:17:57 > 0:18:00but it wasn't something that was hidden or taboo.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02I think it was personal.
0:18:02 > 0:18:06- I think things were different in those days.- A lot different.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09- There was no support and it must have been horrendous.- Mmm.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11And I suppose she thought she was doing the best
0:18:11 > 0:18:16- by giving Rob another chance. - He was six months old, wasn't he?
0:18:16 > 0:18:20It must have been worse cos she must have bonded and...
0:18:20 > 0:18:24- Just can't imagine. That's probably why she didn't talk about it.- Mmm.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27The version of events their mother told them
0:18:27 > 0:18:30was all they ever knew about the circumstances
0:18:30 > 0:18:32surrounding Rob's birth.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37We were told that his father had been killed in the war.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41He was American, his father. And that's why Mum...
0:18:41 > 0:18:46She married his best friend to give the baby a father,
0:18:46 > 0:18:50but when they were due to return back to America,
0:18:50 > 0:18:52she didn't want to leave England.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55He went back and she stayed here.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00My mother was by herself, she had Rob adopted
0:19:00 > 0:19:03and she returned to the village
0:19:03 > 0:19:07where her parents lived and started afresh.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12In 2005, Martin and Sue's mother, Pauline,
0:19:12 > 0:19:16was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and moved into a care home.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20It was here she began to express regret
0:19:20 > 0:19:23about never having traced her first-born son, Rob.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26She must have been thinking about him, too,
0:19:26 > 0:19:29cos she instigated the conversation.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32With his mother's health failing,
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Martin was determined to track down his half-brother.
0:19:35 > 0:19:40I started the tree and I always thought that Rob was part of that.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43A tree is supposed to be representative of your life,
0:19:43 > 0:19:46so I just wanted him to be represented on the tree
0:19:46 > 0:19:49with all the rest of the family. He's part of the family.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52But despite searching for years, Martin had no success.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56When my mum was in the nursing home,
0:19:56 > 0:20:00she did always ask me about Rob and then one day she asked me
0:20:00 > 0:20:05if I'd managed to find him and she was talking about him,
0:20:05 > 0:20:08saying she would have liked to have seen him. Um...
0:20:10 > 0:20:16It's just those last years in the care home, the way she looked at me.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18- Mmm.- Um...
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Like she was really hoping I'd found something and...
0:20:24 > 0:20:27HIS VOICE BREAKS WITH EMOTION
0:20:30 > 0:20:33You know, it just... It just never happened.
0:20:34 > 0:20:39I think she was hopeful when she said, "Have you found him?
0:20:39 > 0:20:43"Have you found Rob yet, Robin yet?" Cos she called him Robin.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46And I just said, "No." I just felt like I'd let her down.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51- HE SNIFFS - Don't be silly.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53You haven't let her down.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56- Yeah, but it would have been nice. - Mmm, it would have been.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Pauline died without ever being reunited with the son
0:21:03 > 0:21:05she had been forced to give up.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09But just a year later,
0:21:09 > 0:21:13the email arrived that was to finally bring the siblings together.
0:21:13 > 0:21:17From when we first started our search
0:21:17 > 0:21:22to physically meeting with Martin and Sue
0:21:22 > 0:21:28took probably no longer than three to four months.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33The brothers arranged to meet in London at Victoria station.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39I can remember, literally, being on the train with Brenda,
0:21:39 > 0:21:44going up to London, her asking me, "How do you feel? Are you excited?"
0:21:44 > 0:21:48And I said, "Well, in truth, not yet."
0:21:48 > 0:21:53As we got towards Victoria, that's when I started to be...
0:21:53 > 0:21:56I got very deep and very...
0:21:56 > 0:21:59I was, not worried, but I thought, "What if it doesn't work out
0:21:59 > 0:22:01"and what if we've got nothing in common?"
0:22:01 > 0:22:05And Susan was all excited, so I just phoned him
0:22:05 > 0:22:08and I saw someone reaching for the phone,
0:22:08 > 0:22:11so I turned my phone off, we went and stood in front of them.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14I had a tap on the shoulder and there they were.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20That was... That was something else.
0:22:20 > 0:22:25It's difficult. I find it impossible to put into words.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29- I couldn't stop looking at him when we met him.- Mmm.
0:22:29 > 0:22:35Rob is just the image. He's more like Mum than anybody, isn't he?
0:22:35 > 0:22:39Than any of us. He's so like her to look at.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43We talked a lot about my mother, what she did,
0:22:43 > 0:22:46what she was like, a little bit about the relationship
0:22:46 > 0:22:50that she'd had that brought me into the world.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54We covered a lot of ground that evening and it was...
0:22:56 > 0:22:58..a remarkable experience.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Since their initial meeting,
0:23:02 > 0:23:05the siblings have been making up for lost time.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Today, Rob is heading to Cheshire to see the twins again
0:23:08 > 0:23:12and he's come armed with some more intriguing family research.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14I'm particularly looking forward to today
0:23:14 > 0:23:18because it's some time since Martin, Sue and I have got together
0:23:18 > 0:23:19and within the past couple of months,
0:23:19 > 0:23:23I've discovered some information about Mum
0:23:23 > 0:23:27that I think both Martin and Sue will find very interesting indeed.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30It will be nice to see Rob again cos it's been a long time.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33- Yeah, really good. It's been a year, hasn't it?- Yeah.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Catch up and give him this.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39- Well, I hope he likes it. I like it. - I'm sure he will. It's lovely.- Yeah.
0:23:44 > 0:23:49- Lovely to see you. You all right? - Mmm. It's been a long time.- It has.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52- Martin.- Oh, it's good to see you. You all right?- Yeah.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54- Shall we go in?- Yeah.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58Martin has brought along a special gift for Rob,
0:23:58 > 0:24:00something he hopes will help bring him closer
0:24:00 > 0:24:02- to the family he never knew. - Whoa.
0:24:04 > 0:24:08- That is brilliant.- That's one you haven't got. That's Mum.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11That was taken about the time you were born.
0:24:11 > 0:24:16That's her mother, our grandmother. And that was taken about 1920.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20That is HER mother, so that's your great-grandmother.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22- She's a cracker, isn't she?- Yeah.
0:24:22 > 0:24:26I think that was probably taken about 1890,
0:24:26 > 0:24:28judging by the way she's dressed.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31I thought that was nice because it's your direct line and perhaps...
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Absolutely brilliant, thanks.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36- I just thought that would be nice for you to have.- Yeah.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Since being united with Martin and Sue,
0:24:39 > 0:24:43Rob has been trying to find out more about his natural father.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45The story their mother gave the twins
0:24:45 > 0:24:46was that he'd died during the war.
0:24:46 > 0:24:51However, Rob's research has dug up two incredible revelations.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54We often wondered why the relationship
0:24:54 > 0:24:59between our mum and my dad didn't materialise
0:24:59 > 0:25:03but we never did get an answer on that.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05What we do have...
0:25:05 > 0:25:10are some letters that dad wrote home to, initially, his cousin,
0:25:10 > 0:25:14and so what we do have here are letters.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17They've stood the test of time.
0:25:17 > 0:25:22So, we see one there in February, '43.
0:25:22 > 0:25:23One for you, Martin.
0:25:23 > 0:25:2712th June, and there's some particular significance
0:25:27 > 0:25:31- in that date, you may remember. - That was when...
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Wasn't she getting married?
0:25:33 > 0:25:35We have Mum's wedding certificate
0:25:35 > 0:25:38which shows that she was actually getting married
0:25:38 > 0:25:40on that very same day.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43This gets stranger and stranger.
0:25:43 > 0:25:49Yes, and on that very day, my dad was writing home to his cousin,
0:25:49 > 0:25:53saying that he still hoped to marry Mum.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Martin and Sue had been told by their mother
0:25:59 > 0:26:01that she hadn't married Rob's father
0:26:01 > 0:26:04because he was killed in active service.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07From what I can see, the letters,
0:26:07 > 0:26:10they obviously only show one side of the story,
0:26:10 > 0:26:17- um, and it appears that we have a man who was jilted.- Oh.
0:26:17 > 0:26:23But we don't know why and, as I say, that is just one side of the story.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26It's really intriguing because it's...
0:26:27 > 0:26:30It's just not the story that we've been following, is it,
0:26:30 > 0:26:32all these years?
0:26:32 > 0:26:36On top of the conflicting tales over why his parents' relationship
0:26:36 > 0:26:40didn't result in marriage, Rob has made a far bigger discovery.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46The information that my father had died during the war,
0:26:46 > 0:26:51we were unable to substantiate that and, indeed, subsequently,
0:26:51 > 0:26:56we found that my father had lived for another 60 years.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59He did, in fact, live until 2003.
0:27:04 > 0:27:08Now I think Martin looks like you as a little boy there.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11There's photos of you that you've given us
0:27:11 > 0:27:13and I think you look alike there.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Tragically, Rob missed out on a reunion
0:27:16 > 0:27:18with both his natural parents.
0:27:18 > 0:27:23But Martin and Sue are determined to make Rob feel part of the family
0:27:23 > 0:27:24and have brought him to a special place
0:27:24 > 0:27:27that has played a big part in their lives.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30Rob, our gran used to come here every Sunday.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32This was her church that she used to come to.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34This church means a lot to us
0:27:34 > 0:27:37cos we've had a lot of important family events here.
0:27:37 > 0:27:41I got married here, one of our daughters got married here.
0:27:41 > 0:27:46Um, Mum obviously had her funeral here.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48The reason why we wanted to bring you here today
0:27:48 > 0:27:53is because we've decided that we want to put Mum's ashes somewhere,
0:27:53 > 0:27:55so we're thinking of having them interred here,
0:27:55 > 0:28:00so that we've got somewhere to go to on birthdays etc,
0:28:00 > 0:28:03and to leave flowers and just somewhere important
0:28:03 > 0:28:06where we can come to where my mum is.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08I just wanted to share that with you
0:28:08 > 0:28:11- and let you know what we're going to be doing.- It's a nice idea, Martin.
0:28:11 > 0:28:14And, you know, I'm pleased
0:28:14 > 0:28:18to have an input into family events.
0:28:21 > 0:28:25It's lovely having Rob in our family because he just fits in,
0:28:25 > 0:28:29he's one of us. I've got two brothers now instead of one.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32He's always been there but now we've got him in person,
0:28:32 > 0:28:34so it's just completion, really.
0:28:37 > 0:28:41I deferred looking for my family...
0:28:42 > 0:28:44..my mother, in particular, for about 50 years
0:28:44 > 0:28:49and today somehow seems to be, in a way,
0:28:49 > 0:28:53the end of that journey but, in a sense, it's the beginning,
0:28:53 > 0:29:00something new and now is the time to actually enjoy these relatives.
0:29:10 > 0:29:13In Wiltshire, Sue De-Haven had hit a brick wall
0:29:13 > 0:29:17and had given up searching for her baby sister, Eileen,
0:29:17 > 0:29:20who she'd become separated from 50 years earlier.
0:29:20 > 0:29:24In 1962, Eileen went to her father
0:29:24 > 0:29:30and I was already, by then, being fostered in Chippenham.
0:29:31 > 0:29:35But, unbeknownst to Sue, a mere 20 miles away,
0:29:35 > 0:29:38the very same sister she'd been trying to find
0:29:38 > 0:29:40had been searching for her too.
0:29:41 > 0:29:45Out of the blue, I received a message from Eileen's daughter
0:29:45 > 0:29:51on a social media site, saying that her mum had been looking for me.
0:29:51 > 0:29:55I was really shocked because I'd been trying to find Eileen
0:29:55 > 0:29:57for quite a long time
0:29:57 > 0:30:00and not realising that she was using her maiden name.
0:30:02 > 0:30:06So, after years of trying and failing to find Eileen,
0:30:06 > 0:30:08Eileen had finally found Sue,
0:30:08 > 0:30:12and the sisters were back in touch after 50 long years apart.
0:30:13 > 0:30:18When Eileen and I discovered each other, it was, um...
0:30:18 > 0:30:22I think we were both a little bit cautious
0:30:22 > 0:30:24about what it might mean to the other.
0:30:24 > 0:30:27I was aware that her life had been chequered
0:30:27 > 0:30:33by spells of going into care, getting into trouble.
0:30:35 > 0:30:40Eileen had been born 17 months after Sue in 1962,
0:30:40 > 0:30:42but their mother became unable to cope
0:30:42 > 0:30:45and both sisters ended up in a children's home.
0:30:46 > 0:30:50I can't really remember much of when I was really little.
0:30:50 > 0:30:53I can just remember probably from when I was about two or three
0:30:53 > 0:30:57and that was going to Swindon to live with my dad.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01Eileen's father gained custody
0:31:01 > 0:31:05and removed her from the home before also trying to get custody of Sue.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08When we were children,
0:31:08 > 0:31:11we actually went down to Chippenham to Sue's house.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13I can't remember all of it
0:31:13 > 0:31:16but I can remember going to Chippenham with our dad.
0:31:16 > 0:31:18I think what I was told
0:31:18 > 0:31:20is that dad and that went down to try to get Sue.
0:31:22 > 0:31:24But Eileen's dad wasn't Sue's biological father
0:31:24 > 0:31:28and strong opposition from Sue's adoptive parents
0:31:28 > 0:31:30meant that she remained in Chippenham with them.
0:31:31 > 0:31:36And then I turned into quite an angry young teenager.
0:31:36 > 0:31:40I was sleeping rough, I was drinking,
0:31:40 > 0:31:43so I was, like, thinking, "I really wonder how Sue's life...
0:31:43 > 0:31:46"Has she got a happier life than me?"
0:31:47 > 0:31:50I think it was just sad that we didn't grow up together,
0:31:50 > 0:31:52being that we come from the same mother,
0:31:52 > 0:31:55because I think we would have had a good bond
0:31:55 > 0:31:58because most children that come from the same mother
0:31:58 > 0:32:00normally have quite a strong bond.
0:32:00 > 0:32:03And I felt like we were cheated because that was taken away from us.
0:32:05 > 0:32:08Eileen eventually married and went on to have children of her own
0:32:08 > 0:32:12and it wasn't until her 50th birthday that she decided
0:32:12 > 0:32:16it was time to try to find the sister she'd lost.
0:32:16 > 0:32:22I started to want to trace my natural mother and Sue.
0:32:22 > 0:32:27Some of it was curiosity, some of it was looking for something
0:32:27 > 0:32:29that I felt I had missing,
0:32:29 > 0:32:32especially that was with my natural mother.
0:32:32 > 0:32:37Some of it was because I wanted to see how Sue's upbringing was.
0:32:39 > 0:32:44I think because my children have grown up, I sort of thought,
0:32:44 > 0:32:48"Actually, I'm going to start doing a little bit more of a search."
0:32:48 > 0:32:53When I was on Jobseeker's, they got me to do an internet course,
0:32:53 > 0:32:57like use a laptop, a computer and, while using the laptop,
0:32:57 > 0:32:59apart from just doing job searches, I thought,
0:32:59 > 0:33:03"Right, I'm now going to start doing things that I want to do with it."
0:33:03 > 0:33:07So, the first thing I done is went onto Genes Reunited.
0:33:08 > 0:33:11After having no luck finding Sue on genealogy sites,
0:33:11 > 0:33:13it was Eileen's daughter who suggested
0:33:13 > 0:33:16she turn to social media for help.
0:33:17 > 0:33:21My daughter took Sue's name and went onto Facebook
0:33:21 > 0:33:26and done a search for me and there was a few Sues with that name
0:33:26 > 0:33:29but straightaway she come across the one that she said,
0:33:29 > 0:33:32"This is your sister, Mum. This is her."
0:33:33 > 0:33:36A few days later, I set up my own Facebook account,
0:33:36 > 0:33:39sent Sue a message from my Facebook account
0:33:39 > 0:33:41and she then sent me a long message back,
0:33:41 > 0:33:43saying that she'd been looking for me for a long time.
0:33:43 > 0:33:45"Hi, Eileen, it was a lovely surprise
0:33:45 > 0:33:47"to see you've joined Facebook.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49"I do hope we keep in regular contact now
0:33:49 > 0:33:53"cos I would love to know how you and your family are doing.
0:33:53 > 0:33:57"Anyway, do message me when you can. Take care, stay happy. Love, Sue."
0:33:59 > 0:34:03I was, like, shaking, thinking, "My God! My God! What have we done?
0:34:03 > 0:34:06"We've just found each other after all these years."
0:34:08 > 0:34:11The sisters were soon speaking on the phone.
0:34:11 > 0:34:12We just couldn't stop talking.
0:34:12 > 0:34:15It was like we'd known each other for all the time.
0:34:15 > 0:34:17There was so much to talk about.
0:34:17 > 0:34:19We were on the phone for about four hours.
0:34:19 > 0:34:23Sue and Eileen then arranged their first meeting
0:34:23 > 0:34:25at Swindon train station.
0:34:27 > 0:34:32As we got to Swindon, I saw a woman sitting,
0:34:32 > 0:34:34waiting for the train to come in,
0:34:34 > 0:34:37who I thought looked remarkably like me
0:34:37 > 0:34:42and I got off the train and we had quite an emotional big hug.
0:34:44 > 0:34:48When I first saw her, um, I knew it was her straightaway
0:34:48 > 0:34:51and she said to me that she knew it was ME straightaway.
0:34:51 > 0:34:55And obviously, we gave each other a big hug and we cried
0:34:55 > 0:34:58and we just chatted.
0:34:58 > 0:35:00It was just, like, amazing. It was just, like,
0:35:00 > 0:35:04I can't believe this has really happened after all these years.
0:35:04 > 0:35:06It's like I really can't believe it.
0:35:06 > 0:35:10I think it's fair to say that I couldn't take my eyes off of her.
0:35:10 > 0:35:14Um, I was absolutely fascinated
0:35:14 > 0:35:19by meeting someone that looked so much like me.
0:35:19 > 0:35:23I wanted to ask her about everything all at once
0:35:23 > 0:35:26and, in fact, I think it probably came out like that, you know,
0:35:26 > 0:35:29one question followed by another, followed by another -
0:35:29 > 0:35:34where she lived, where she worked, um, you know,
0:35:34 > 0:35:39even down to, you know, what clothes she liked to wear, everything.
0:35:39 > 0:35:43It was... Everything about her was fascinating.
0:35:43 > 0:35:46We went and had lunch together and...
0:35:47 > 0:35:52..the whole time I think I was looking at her with my mouth open,
0:35:52 > 0:35:56trying to take in every single aspect of her.
0:35:57 > 0:36:01We asked a stranger to take some photographs of us
0:36:01 > 0:36:08and when I got those photos developed, it showed, even more,
0:36:08 > 0:36:12how much alike we were and that, no matter how it might have been
0:36:12 > 0:36:1450 plus years since we'd seen each other last,
0:36:14 > 0:36:18that we had a lot of characteristics in common,
0:36:18 > 0:36:20which I found extraordinary.
0:36:22 > 0:36:26She was quite sad that I had had it quite hard over the years -
0:36:26 > 0:36:29not just children, obviously, even as adult years.
0:36:29 > 0:36:32Different relationships and things like that have gone wrong.
0:36:32 > 0:36:36And I wasn't working and I hadn't worked for a long time.
0:36:36 > 0:36:41I was, like, "I'm really glad you had a great life and everything."
0:36:45 > 0:36:49We both knew that our life experiences had been quite...
0:36:50 > 0:36:52..different, quite diverse,
0:36:52 > 0:36:56and it's a difficult one cos I didn't want her to feel
0:36:56 > 0:36:58that I was in any way rubbing in
0:36:58 > 0:37:03that I'd had quite a successful, happy life since my adoption.
0:37:03 > 0:37:06It fills the missing gap
0:37:06 > 0:37:11because I think it's also because she's related to our natural mother.
0:37:11 > 0:37:13We both come from the same mother.
0:37:13 > 0:37:15And even though I love
0:37:15 > 0:37:19all my other brothers and sisters just as much, um...
0:37:20 > 0:37:24..there's a different feeling there because we're from the same mother.
0:37:25 > 0:37:29We've become closer and closer
0:37:29 > 0:37:34and...I feel like I've got my little sister back -
0:37:34 > 0:37:37my first experience of having a little sister.
0:37:43 > 0:37:46Today, the two sisters are meeting again
0:37:46 > 0:37:49and this time, a special guest has been invited along too.
0:37:51 > 0:37:53- Hiya!- Hiya!
0:37:57 > 0:38:00Dilys is the nurse who was charged with looking after Sue
0:38:00 > 0:38:04in the children's home where both sisters lived all those years ago.
0:38:05 > 0:38:09This is the first picture I've got of me with Dilys...
0:38:09 > 0:38:11- Yeah.- Is that me?
0:38:11 > 0:38:14- I thought that was my mum! - No, that IS you!
0:38:17 > 0:38:20It was Dilys's parents who ended up adopting and raising Sue.
0:38:22 > 0:38:25Look, Eileen, if it hadn't have snowed then,
0:38:25 > 0:38:27I probably would never...
0:38:27 > 0:38:29It would never have turned out the way in which it did,
0:38:29 > 0:38:35cos I think I would probably have gone back to the nursery home
0:38:35 > 0:38:39- and we may well have still been together now.- Yeah.
0:38:39 > 0:38:44- Um, so I think that's certainly what changed my life.- The snow.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46- With the snow, yeah.- Yeah.
0:38:48 > 0:38:51- I haven't got as many photos as you, but I have got a couple.- Crikey!
0:38:51 > 0:38:52THEY LAUGH
0:38:52 > 0:38:54No, that's really funny.
0:38:54 > 0:38:58- What age were you there? - I was probably about 19.- Yeah.
0:38:58 > 0:39:01I notice your hair and my hair always seems to part
0:39:01 > 0:39:04- in the same little place.- Yeah. - And it still...
0:39:04 > 0:39:06Look at me now. It's doing it now.
0:39:06 > 0:39:08It always does it in that little place.
0:39:09 > 0:39:12That's lovely. Thank you for bringing some photos.
0:39:12 > 0:39:15- I think that's really funny. - What, me doing the cooking?
0:39:15 > 0:39:18- Well, yeah, that as well! - THEY LAUGH
0:39:18 > 0:39:22Sue is keen to know more about how she'd been taken
0:39:22 > 0:39:25to stay with Dilys's parents, who then went on to adopt her.
0:39:27 > 0:39:33I was always told by Mum and Dad that you were able to bring me home
0:39:33 > 0:39:39to see how a child who hadn't had maternal bonding,
0:39:39 > 0:39:45er...reacted in an ordinary family environment.
0:39:45 > 0:39:49I've always wondered why I was allowed to take you home.
0:39:49 > 0:39:52I just thought it was a policy that it gave
0:39:52 > 0:39:57the children in the residential home a bit of family life,
0:39:57 > 0:40:01a bit of a taste of family life. I just assumed that's what it was.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03But I had no idea.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06At this time, Eileen had been living
0:40:06 > 0:40:09in the same care home as her older sister.
0:40:09 > 0:40:11You were in a separate unit to Susan.
0:40:11 > 0:40:14You were with the babies downstairs and Susan was with me,
0:40:14 > 0:40:16up in the family unit.
0:40:16 > 0:40:19But I used to bring Sue down to visit her baby sister
0:40:19 > 0:40:21and I would hold you then,
0:40:21 > 0:40:26so that Susan could, you know, pat you and look at you and love you.
0:40:26 > 0:40:30No-one's ever remembered old me as a tiny baby.
0:40:30 > 0:40:34No-one remembers going back that far, like me as a tiny baby.
0:40:34 > 0:40:37So, you're the first one I've actually met or spoke to
0:40:37 > 0:40:39that can remember old me as this tiny baby
0:40:39 > 0:40:42and, obviously, like you say,
0:40:42 > 0:40:46we were in different parts and then, obviously, I was fostered out.
0:40:46 > 0:40:49- I don't know how long I was in there for. Do you know?- No.
0:40:49 > 0:40:53- You don't, obviously, know?- No. - No.- I don't, sorry.
0:40:53 > 0:40:57But I do know that Mum and Dad, at the time, would have loved
0:40:57 > 0:41:00- for you to have been with me as well, I think.- Yeah.
0:41:00 > 0:41:02But, of course, it wasn't possible.
0:41:04 > 0:41:06They did want you and they did...
0:41:07 > 0:41:10..sort of try to get you, if you like,
0:41:10 > 0:41:15- but they were blocked by your father.- Yeah.- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:41:15 > 0:41:20Because, well, you were his daughter and that was it.
0:41:20 > 0:41:23I don't want to feel that I'm betraying people
0:41:23 > 0:41:27when I say I feel a bit, like, um...
0:41:27 > 0:41:29jealous because you had a really lovely upbringing
0:41:29 > 0:41:33and your parents obviously worshipped her, so, yeah, I do...
0:41:33 > 0:41:37- But I've also got my own brothers and sisters.- Yeah.- And I...
0:41:37 > 0:41:39Do you know what I mean?
0:41:39 > 0:41:42- I don't want to feel that I'm betraying them...- Don't get upset.
0:41:42 > 0:41:46..when I say I feel a bit jealous when I see all this.
0:41:49 > 0:41:55I was a bit upset when I found out how Eileen's life had panned out,
0:41:55 > 0:41:57compared to Susan's life,
0:41:57 > 0:42:02but I'm delighted she seems to have come through it very well indeed.
0:42:03 > 0:42:06I would rather have been brought up with you included
0:42:06 > 0:42:08and grown up to have known Sue,
0:42:08 > 0:42:11like grown up to have known each other.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13That's probably how I would have liked it.
0:42:15 > 0:42:19- It means the world to me. - Good to have you back in my life.
0:42:19 > 0:42:21THEY KISS
0:42:22 > 0:42:26I know that we'll never lose contact again now. Um...
0:42:26 > 0:42:30She was the first blood relative that I've ever known
0:42:30 > 0:42:34and it's absolutely fantastic for me for me to have her in my life.
0:42:34 > 0:42:40I think it's been amazing meeting up with my sister after so many years.
0:42:41 > 0:42:44Yeah, I feel a lot happier, now she's in my life.
0:42:44 > 0:42:47I love her, yeah, I do.
0:42:47 > 0:42:52We have started to become close again, after over 50 years,
0:42:52 > 0:42:54which is absolutely amazing.