Episode 2

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04The freedom of your first ever far-flung long-haul holiday

0:00:04 > 0:00:06away with your mates,

0:00:06 > 0:00:106,000 miles away from home to Thailand

0:00:10 > 0:00:11where booze comes in buckets...

0:00:13 > 0:00:15..boys will be boys...

0:00:15 > 0:00:18and girls may be boys too.

0:00:18 > 0:00:20I've seen one of theirs willies.

0:00:20 > 0:00:24A baptism of fire far from the glaring eyes of Mum and Dad.

0:00:24 > 0:00:27Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

0:00:27 > 0:00:30Except in this case, the parents have come along too,

0:00:30 > 0:00:33spying on the sly...

0:00:33 > 0:00:34Oh, my God. I can see him.

0:00:34 > 0:00:37..secretly watching their every move.

0:00:37 > 0:00:38Oh, jeez.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Drop.

0:00:40 > 0:00:44But as the youngsters stumble merrily down the fast lane to independence...

0:00:44 > 0:00:46- Go away. - Look at the state of him.

0:00:46 > 0:00:48You've just got to give me a minute.

0:00:48 > 0:00:52..one way or another, someone is about to get...

0:00:52 > 0:00:54Was that you doing that?

0:00:54 > 0:00:56..the shock of their lives.

0:00:56 > 0:00:57- Why are you here?- I'm not doing it.

0:00:57 > 0:01:01This programme contains strong language.

0:01:01 > 0:01:03Coming up - an Essex gigolo...

0:01:03 > 0:01:04Suck it, love.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06..and a proud Mummy's boy...

0:01:06 > 0:01:08That's too strong for me, bruv.

0:01:08 > 0:01:12..take a long distance trek to Ko Pha Ngan in Thailand.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14Everyone's having a good time. See where the night takes us.

0:01:14 > 0:01:16But will Casanova Pat...

0:01:16 > 0:01:18I'd love to have a bit of that.

0:01:18 > 0:01:19..regret his womanising ways?

0:01:19 > 0:01:21The girl was a boy.

0:01:21 > 0:01:23- Oh, jeez! - No!

0:01:23 > 0:01:27And can one-pint wonder Daniel handle a night on the bucket?

0:01:27 > 0:01:28HE RETCHES

0:01:28 > 0:01:30You've just got to give me a minute.

0:01:30 > 0:01:33And when one family is forced to break their cover early...

0:01:33 > 0:01:34SHE CRIES

0:01:34 > 0:01:35I'm sorry, Daniel.

0:01:35 > 0:01:38..just how will the kids react?

0:01:38 > 0:01:39Was that you doing that?

0:01:39 > 0:01:41SHE LAUGHS

0:01:47 > 0:01:48In Sussex...

0:01:48 > 0:01:50Can Mummy come in?

0:01:50 > 0:01:52- Yeah. - Sleepy boy.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55..20-year-old graphic design student Daniel lives at home

0:01:55 > 0:01:58with his big sister, Jess, and doting mum, Jill.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00When I'm here, it's all lovely

0:02:00 > 0:02:03and then when I go, it's always the tears and water-works.

0:02:03 > 0:02:05Yeah, I'd say I'm a mummy's boy in that sense.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08- Hello, my darling. - Hello, Mama.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10- Are you all right? You've slept well?- Yeah.

0:02:11 > 0:02:12I like it, I think.

0:02:12 > 0:02:15I think it's something that I don't want to let, like...

0:02:15 > 0:02:18It's quite sad but I think it's something that I'll never really want to lose ever, really.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20- Are you going to get up now? - No.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22- Daniel, get up now. - No, I'm all right.

0:02:22 > 0:02:24'Dan is my baby boy.'

0:02:25 > 0:02:29I get great joy by spoiling him in lots of ways.

0:02:29 > 0:02:30Love you, Mama.

0:02:30 > 0:02:32Love you more!

0:02:32 > 0:02:34Daniel enjoys the easy life.

0:02:34 > 0:02:38He doesn't do anything for himself when he's here.

0:02:38 > 0:02:39He gets his dinner made.

0:02:39 > 0:02:42He wants to go shopping, Mum takes him shopping

0:02:42 > 0:02:45so, yeah, he's very babied and he loves it.

0:02:45 > 0:02:49I'd say people laugh AT me more than with me,

0:02:49 > 0:02:50which is kind of a sad thing, I guess,

0:02:50 > 0:02:52but I've never really thought of it that way.

0:02:52 > 0:02:57Dan is a fairly unique kind of guy, really.

0:02:57 > 0:03:03But when away at uni, Daniel is a completely different person.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05If my mum knew what I got up to when I was drunk,

0:03:05 > 0:03:07she's probably going to be pretty shocked.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09One thing Mum isn't aware of

0:03:09 > 0:03:12is Daniel's drunken visits to a tattoo parlour.

0:03:13 > 0:03:17I got the camel toe and the old barbecue ribs - the classics.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20I probably should keep my voice down a little bit, actually.

0:03:20 > 0:03:21My mum doesn't quite know.

0:03:21 > 0:03:24With Mum having no idea about Daniel's alter-ego,

0:03:24 > 0:03:28a night out in Thailand is likely to be a real shocker.

0:03:28 > 0:03:30That's the drinking Dan.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33That's the different side of me, which I don't think she's ever really seen, to be honest.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38Look what Mummy's found for her bubba. Pac a mac.

0:03:38 > 0:03:39Oh!

0:03:39 > 0:03:43My thoughts on spying on Daniel -

0:03:43 > 0:03:46that it will be interesting

0:03:46 > 0:03:51to see him embrace another culture

0:03:51 > 0:03:55without me or the rest of the family with him

0:03:55 > 0:03:58and to see him broaden his horizons, really.

0:03:58 > 0:04:01Daniel can do no wrong in his mum's eyes

0:04:01 > 0:04:03but big sister Jess is concerned.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05Don't take any drinks

0:04:05 > 0:04:08that you don't know what's in them.

0:04:08 > 0:04:10Don't want you paralytic.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13You've heard the stories of...

0:04:13 > 0:04:15those buckets and things like that,

0:04:15 > 0:04:18so just be mindful of what you're drinking.

0:04:18 > 0:04:21What else do we not want you to do?

0:04:21 > 0:04:26Maybe no ladyboys, I think would be a good idea.

0:04:28 > 0:04:33Hey! What's up? Hey, guys. How you doing?

0:04:33 > 0:04:36Accompanying Daniel and hoping to make a splash in Thailand

0:04:36 > 0:04:39are best mates Kieran and Sam.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43I'd say Sam is going to be the sensible one.

0:04:43 > 0:04:46I don't like that. I'm not boring, OK? I'm not boring.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48Dan's the one-can man so he can't always keep up.

0:04:48 > 0:04:52I'd say it takes me a very little amount of alcohol to get drunk.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54Thailand's reputation for cheap booze,

0:04:54 > 0:04:57coupled with his mum and sister watching his every move,

0:04:57 > 0:05:02could leave Daniel in double trouble, not that he's aware.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04I'm so excited to go to Thailand.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06It's going to be unbelievable.

0:05:06 > 0:05:09I mean, it's just going to be probably the best holiday I've ever been on.

0:05:12 > 0:05:1720-year-old part-time waiter Pat lives at home with his mum, Lisa.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20Pat is a bit of a playboy.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23With girls and that, I suppose I am quite successful.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25I know what I'm doing.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27I just talk a lot and I just say what's what

0:05:27 > 0:05:31and most of the time, it works cos I think if you're just quite confident with some girls,

0:05:31 > 0:05:34they don't know what to say so they just go, "Yeah, all right, then."

0:05:35 > 0:05:38Mum wishes he would show some responsibility.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42I think he goes out too much...

0:05:43 > 0:05:45..and that he should be using his energies

0:05:45 > 0:05:48into looking at what else is around.

0:05:48 > 0:05:53Pat has already quit college, where he was studying to be an electrician.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56I kind of got a bit lazy and thought, you know,

0:05:56 > 0:05:59"I want to have a bit more fun," so I've been having fun.

0:05:59 > 0:06:02I'd like to go back into the electrician thing as I get a bit older

0:06:02 > 0:06:06and I think it's getting a bit to that stage now where I've got to start buckling down.

0:06:06 > 0:06:08Sometimes gets his priorities wrong.

0:06:08 > 0:06:10Thailand is Pat's chance to prove himself.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12Just don't be silly.

0:06:12 > 0:06:16Don't do things just because it's funny or whatever.

0:06:16 > 0:06:19- No, I want to have a laugh, though. - Yeah, you can have a laugh.

0:06:19 > 0:06:22I hope you have a great laugh and a great time

0:06:22 > 0:06:24and see something different

0:06:24 > 0:06:28and come back with an experience that's valuable,

0:06:28 > 0:06:29but I just want you to be safe.

0:06:32 > 0:06:36But will Pat take full advantage of this unique cultural experience?

0:06:36 > 0:06:39The main thing that I'm looking forward to

0:06:39 > 0:06:41has got to be the partying.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44Everyone says, "You're going to end up with a ladyboy,"

0:06:44 > 0:06:47but, you know, I don't know, cos some of them are really beautiful

0:06:47 > 0:06:51and it's kind of worrying that you could end up going back somewhere

0:06:51 > 0:06:53and then they turn out to be a fella.

0:06:53 > 0:06:56Joining Pat on this Far Eastern extravaganza

0:06:56 > 0:06:59are partners in crime Phil and Dan.

0:07:02 > 0:07:06If I don't pull or don't speak to girls, I think that's a down night.

0:07:06 > 0:07:09- Wouldn't want to make you cry in Thailand, would that? - I won't cry.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11I'm here to have a good time first.

0:07:11 > 0:07:14If a girl comes along then, yeah, bonus,

0:07:14 > 0:07:17not, "That's my main target."

0:07:17 > 0:07:20- That's why I'm going to Thailand. - To what?- To bang.

0:07:20 > 0:07:21THEY ALL LAUGH

0:07:21 > 0:07:23It will be interesting to see

0:07:23 > 0:07:27how much he is maybe pushing the boundaries.

0:07:27 > 0:07:32I would like to think Patrick has respect for girls...

0:07:33 > 0:07:36..and to see what sort of job I've made of bringing him up

0:07:36 > 0:07:39and I hope that I'm not going to be disappointed.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42You have nothing to worry about, Mum.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Oh, famous last words.

0:07:47 > 0:07:50Despite Daniel's mum, Jill, secretly going to Thailand,

0:07:50 > 0:07:53she's finding it desperately hard to say goodbye.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55- I'll miss you, bubba. - I'll miss you too, Mum.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57I miss you when you're at uni.

0:07:57 > 0:07:59Come and give me a big hug, Dan.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02- Be careful, yeah? Please. Promise? - Yeah.

0:08:02 > 0:08:03Bye-bye.

0:08:03 > 0:08:06Can Daniel survive without his doting mum?

0:08:06 > 0:08:08Only time will tell.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13Thailand! Whoo-hoo!

0:08:16 > 0:08:19Also ready to take flight are Pat, Phil and Dan.

0:08:19 > 0:08:22- Right, you all ready, then? - Yes, everything's all sorted.

0:08:22 > 0:08:24Got your passports? Where?

0:08:24 > 0:08:26- In my bag. - Suitcase.

0:08:26 > 0:08:30Here you are. There you are. You can have a drink when you get to the airport. Water.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33Ta-ra, love.

0:08:33 > 0:08:35See you later.

0:08:35 > 0:08:39If only Pat knew that his mum, Lisa, was coming along too.

0:08:39 > 0:08:40Bye! See ya!

0:08:41 > 0:08:43But you won't be seeing me.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47Can't wait to meet a ladyboy. THEY ALL LAUGH

0:08:47 > 0:08:48I bet you can't.

0:08:48 > 0:08:50Birds with bigger Adam's apples than us.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52Oh, I can't wait.

0:08:53 > 0:08:57Ko Pha Ngan is one of Thailand's most exotic islands,

0:08:57 > 0:09:00bursting with breathtaking colour

0:09:00 > 0:09:03and renowned worldwide as THE place to party.

0:09:13 > 0:09:14Yay!

0:09:23 > 0:09:276,000 miles and 24 hours after leaving the UK,

0:09:27 > 0:09:29Pat, Phil and Dan have finally arrived.

0:09:30 > 0:09:33- The scenery is really nice, isn't it?- It's brilliant.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36- It's not that sunny all the time. - It's humid.- It's humid and wet.

0:09:36 > 0:09:38But it's really nice here, though, so far.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40- So far.- So far. - Seen a couple of birds already.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42It's a whole new world for the Essex boys.

0:09:42 > 0:09:43In you go, Phil.

0:09:43 > 0:09:46Dan has come well-prepared.

0:09:46 > 0:09:47Oh, my word.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50What are we going to do if we bring a bird back?

0:09:50 > 0:09:51HE LAUGHS

0:09:51 > 0:09:53- Why have you brought them? - Just in case.- You never know.

0:09:53 > 0:09:55You never know.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58But playboy Pat's not used to playing it safe.

0:09:58 > 0:09:59When I get into it,

0:09:59 > 0:10:02I don't really have much time for putting on a condom.

0:10:02 > 0:10:03Should do, really.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06Yeah, I know, I shouldn't really go bareback, but...

0:10:06 > 0:10:08On this holiday, the boys plan to stick together

0:10:08 > 0:10:12and have even gone to the effort of creating their very own tribute

0:10:12 > 0:10:14to a well-known French landmark.

0:10:14 > 0:10:15I feel dirty now.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17All right, so, we've got Eiffel Tower.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20You've got the two fellas, me and Daniel here,

0:10:20 > 0:10:23and then we've got the girl... done by Phil.

0:10:23 > 0:10:27The girl will bend over like that, boys up behind.

0:10:27 > 0:10:28Put their arms up.

0:10:28 > 0:10:31Phil's having a great time...or Philippa.

0:10:31 > 0:10:34She's having a great time and we're all high-fiving.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Whoo-hoo, in.

0:10:36 > 0:10:37Phil...

0:10:37 > 0:10:38And it's job done.

0:10:38 > 0:10:42All the boys need now are some willing participants.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44For Pat, there is nothing much off-limits.

0:10:44 > 0:10:46I don't know.

0:10:46 > 0:10:49The oldest woman I've shagged is probably about...I think 47.

0:10:49 > 0:10:51But she still had it, so she was all right.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54Obviously, she weren't, like, a wrinkly old thing.

0:11:00 > 0:11:02Right by the poolside!

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Also just arrived are Daniel, Kieran and Sam.

0:11:04 > 0:11:07- I'm liking what I'm seeing. - SAM: Very nice. Top location.

0:11:07 > 0:11:09- Dude, we're right on the pool. - Right on the pool.

0:11:09 > 0:11:11- It's pretty good. - There's, like, a pool bar.

0:11:11 > 0:11:14Despite Kieran fancying a beer already...

0:11:14 > 0:11:16We're a bit early for the bar, maybe.

0:11:16 > 0:11:18..Daniel has other ideas -

0:11:18 > 0:11:20a gentle swim...

0:11:20 > 0:11:23Feeling a little bit tired, I think. Feel a little bit worn out.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26..followed by a nice afternoon nap.

0:11:41 > 0:11:45At night in Ko Pha Ngan, the locals turn up the heat.

0:11:45 > 0:11:47The Essex boys are limbering up

0:11:47 > 0:11:50for their first night out on the party isle.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56It's a bit boisterous over there, innit? Flames and shit.

0:11:56 > 0:11:57Well, I did have fun playing with fire.

0:11:57 > 0:12:01Pat is on a mission, to first get drunk...

0:12:01 > 0:12:02Thanks, mate.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04There you go. Suck it, love.

0:12:04 > 0:12:07..and then hit on as many girls as possible.

0:12:07 > 0:12:09Everyone I look at, I'm like, "Hmm. Hmm."

0:12:12 > 0:12:17To Pat, it's all about a numbers game for him when it comes to women.

0:12:17 > 0:12:18But when he's actually drunk,

0:12:18 > 0:12:21that's when he actually puts that into practice.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23Someone's spilt me drink.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25Oi, love, you split my drink, look.

0:12:25 > 0:12:28- That definitely wasn't me. - That was you!

0:12:28 > 0:12:30I seen you. You've gone like that. You've kicked me drink over!

0:12:30 > 0:12:32Calm down, I'll buy you another one.

0:12:32 > 0:12:35He won't talk to a girl when he's sober cos he's, like, quite shy,

0:12:35 > 0:12:37but as soon as he's got a little bit of alcohol in him -

0:12:37 > 0:12:39not even drunk but just a little bit -

0:12:39 > 0:12:41then he's just...turns into an animal.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46Pat has hit the ground running

0:12:46 > 0:12:49and at this rate, he'll soon be into double figures.

0:12:53 > 0:12:57I think if went home with, like, only shagging one bird,

0:12:57 > 0:12:59as long as she was Thai, I wouldn't mind.

0:12:59 > 0:13:01As long as I can say I came out to Thailand,

0:13:01 > 0:13:04shagged a Thai bird and went home, then I'll be all right, but...

0:13:04 > 0:13:06if I went home and I didn't shag anyone, I'd be upset.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14Across town, Daniel and co are chilling

0:13:14 > 0:13:16but already a man down.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18How are you feeling, Sam?

0:13:18 > 0:13:20Just dandy.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22Sam is feeling jetlagged.

0:13:22 > 0:13:23I put the "Dan" in "dandy".

0:13:23 > 0:13:27But nothing is going to stop Kieran and Daniel hitting the bars.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29I don't expect you home early.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31Hope you feel better, buddy, OK? Have a good night.

0:13:37 > 0:13:39Yeah, you too.

0:13:41 > 0:13:44Daniel is in high spirits and drinking by the bucket-load.

0:13:45 > 0:13:48That's too fucking strong for me, bruv!

0:13:48 > 0:13:50Onto the party!

0:13:50 > 0:13:53With the drinks kicking in, Daniel mans up.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Arm wrestle! Huh? You want it? Let's do it!

0:13:56 > 0:13:59And he's soon showboating to the crowd.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05- MAN:- Yeah!

0:14:06 > 0:14:09Push, Dan! Push! Push!

0:14:11 > 0:14:13WHISTLE BLOWS, CROWD CHEERS

0:14:20 > 0:14:24They were cheering me on. Who knows who the fuck I am?!

0:14:24 > 0:14:25Who cares who the fuck I am?!

0:14:25 > 0:14:27They wanted me to win.

0:14:27 > 0:14:29Hey!

0:14:29 > 0:14:30Wasn't that exciting?

0:14:32 > 0:14:35- PAT: I've forgotten her name. PHIL:- Jessica.

0:14:35 > 0:14:36No, Jess was the other girl.

0:14:36 > 0:14:39Further up the beach, after a fantastic start,

0:14:39 > 0:14:42Pat's pulling power has suddenly deserted him.

0:14:42 > 0:14:43Yeah, she's gone home.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46Uh, I got with a few girls tonight.

0:14:46 > 0:14:50One was from Galway, and she thought I was Irish as well,

0:14:50 > 0:14:52cos I told her I was from Cappoquin

0:14:52 > 0:14:54and I spoke in an Irish accent, which worked.

0:14:54 > 0:14:56I got away with it. Couple of other girls I got with,

0:14:56 > 0:14:59they were going home tomorrow, so went home early.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01Yeah, it was an eventful night, for the first night.

0:15:01 > 0:15:05Certainly eventful... but not a landmark evening.

0:15:05 > 0:15:09Eiffel Towering tonight, maybe not so much,

0:15:09 > 0:15:12but this is our first night, so we've got a long time to...

0:15:12 > 0:15:14Yeah, we've got a long time to see what's...

0:15:14 > 0:15:15Six other days to try it.

0:15:15 > 0:15:18- Yeah, bedtime, I think. - Bedtime. Come on, this way.

0:15:18 > 0:15:19We're on the left. Come on.

0:15:24 > 0:15:26Fucking hell.

0:15:26 > 0:15:27I love you, bro.

0:15:27 > 0:15:30Two hours since Daniel and Kieran hit the bars,

0:15:30 > 0:15:32and they may be a little intoxicated.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38Hello!

0:15:39 > 0:15:45SLURRING: Am I drunk? Does a cat fucking lick its own fucking balls?

0:15:45 > 0:15:47Yeah, I'm fucking drunk.

0:15:47 > 0:15:50This fucking place is fucking unreal.

0:15:50 > 0:15:52I don't fucking...

0:15:52 > 0:15:54I love my...fucking mum,

0:15:54 > 0:15:57but what the fuck is going on around here?

0:15:57 > 0:15:59That's a fucking good night, Kieran.

0:15:59 > 0:16:01Eh? Eh?!

0:16:01 > 0:16:03A fucking good night, Kieran!

0:16:05 > 0:16:08We're having a fucking good night, yeah?

0:16:08 > 0:16:10Dude, let me put my arm around you. Is that cool?

0:16:10 > 0:16:14Possibly not so good if he knew who was heading his way.

0:16:14 > 0:16:15Let's go together.

0:16:20 > 0:16:24After travelling over 6,000 miles to secretly spy on their kids,

0:16:24 > 0:16:26the parents have arrived.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28And in a double whammy for Pat,

0:16:28 > 0:16:33his mum Lisa has brought along her ex-husband's girlfriend, Tina,

0:16:33 > 0:16:36who are about to meet Daniel's mum, Jill,

0:16:36 > 0:16:40and sister, Jess, for the first time.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42You've got boys, girls?

0:16:42 > 0:16:43Just my son, Patrick, yeah.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46Patrick, right. OK. And who's...?

0:16:46 > 0:16:49I'm Patrick's stepmum. No, I'm not.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51- I'm his dad's girlfriend. - OK.

0:16:51 > 0:16:54- And you're Patrick's mum. - I'm Patrick's mum, yeah.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56OK. Dan's my brother.

0:16:56 > 0:17:00And he's...yeah, a big mummy's boy, really.

0:17:00 > 0:17:03What I'm really scared about is if I see him upset

0:17:03 > 0:17:05or in a situation that I'm not comfortable in

0:17:05 > 0:17:08and I can see that he's not comfortable,

0:17:08 > 0:17:10I will really struggle to watch that.

0:17:10 > 0:17:13If I see him getting himself into a situation where boys go out,

0:17:13 > 0:17:16they drink, they get a bit lairy, bit laddy,

0:17:16 > 0:17:17and they get themselves in this situation

0:17:17 > 0:17:19that could be a bit frightening.

0:17:19 > 0:17:24For me, it's as long as Dan's got a smile on his face, really.

0:17:27 > 0:17:3111.30am, and Daniel and the boys are still in bed.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34I'm feeling OK.

0:17:34 > 0:17:37Are you? I think I'm definitely still drunk.

0:17:37 > 0:17:39Maybe, yeah.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41I don't actually remember the night, to be honest.

0:17:41 > 0:17:44Sam, who came in after who?

0:17:44 > 0:17:45- SAM:- You both came in at the same time.

0:17:45 > 0:17:47How are you actually feeling, Sam?

0:17:47 > 0:17:49We haven't really asked at all.

0:17:49 > 0:17:52- Better, thanks. - Feeling good? OK.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Ready enough for a bar crawl?

0:17:55 > 0:17:56Yep. Are you?

0:17:56 > 0:17:59I'm very ready for a bar crawl right now.

0:17:59 > 0:18:00We could crawl right now.

0:18:00 > 0:18:02I couldn't do anything right now.

0:18:04 > 0:18:05Less than half a mile away,

0:18:05 > 0:18:08Daniel's mum, Jill, and big sister, Jess,

0:18:08 > 0:18:10along with Pat's mum, Lisa, and Tina

0:18:10 > 0:18:15are about to get their first look at what their kids have been up to.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18Now we've arrived in Thailand, we just can't wait to see

0:18:18 > 0:18:22a little bit of footage to see how Dan's settling in.

0:18:22 > 0:18:24Hoping that he's loving it.

0:18:24 > 0:18:29I'm a little bit apprehensive about seeing...or I just hope that

0:18:29 > 0:18:33he's not put himself in any sort of vulnerable situations

0:18:33 > 0:18:37and he's just kept his wits about him.

0:18:37 > 0:18:41Jill is about to see just how much Daniel really is loving it.

0:18:43 > 0:18:46JESS: Oh, he's on the shots. Oh, dear.

0:18:46 > 0:18:51What have I told him about taking drinks from strangers?

0:18:51 > 0:18:52- TINA:- Buckets now.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57It tastes foul because they're pulling faces.

0:18:57 > 0:18:59He doesn't like that!

0:19:03 > 0:19:04ALL GASP

0:19:04 > 0:19:06Kieran!

0:19:06 > 0:19:09- Oh, my God! - He looked like he hit his head then.

0:19:09 > 0:19:12You know what scares me? When they don't know what's in those drinks.

0:19:12 > 0:19:13- I know. - I know.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15They're just pouring them down their throats.

0:19:15 > 0:19:17Wasn't happy with that.

0:19:19 > 0:19:20OK, we need to watch more.

0:19:21 > 0:19:25SLURRING: This fucking place is fucking unreal.

0:19:25 > 0:19:26ALL LAUGH

0:19:26 > 0:19:27I don't fucking...

0:19:27 > 0:19:28I love my...fucking mum.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32"I love my fucking mum"!

0:19:32 > 0:19:34I love that. You've got a mention!

0:19:34 > 0:19:35Aw!

0:19:37 > 0:19:39I'm surprised he could say the words!

0:19:40 > 0:19:43Bless him. I love him.

0:19:43 > 0:19:46Pat's mum, Lisa, is more apprehensive.

0:19:46 > 0:19:49With responsibilities with women, I hope he's respectful

0:19:49 > 0:19:52and treats them with respect.

0:19:52 > 0:19:54- Just not nasty with it. - Not nasty with it.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56- That he's considerate towards other people.- Yeah.

0:20:00 > 0:20:04- Look. - ALL LAUGH

0:20:04 > 0:20:08- DAN:- 'You never know.'- Dan thinks his luck's going to be well in.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11When I get into it, I don't really have much time for...

0:20:11 > 0:20:13putting on a condom. Should do, really.

0:20:13 > 0:20:15You know, I shouldn't really go bareback, but...

0:20:15 > 0:20:17- it happens, don't it?- Hmm.

0:20:19 > 0:20:22"I shouldn't really go bareback."

0:20:24 > 0:20:26He don't listen to a word I say, does he?

0:20:28 > 0:20:30THEY GASP

0:20:30 > 0:20:32Right, so, we've got Eiffel Tower.

0:20:32 > 0:20:34- You've got the two fellas, me and Daniel here.- Oh, Pat.

0:20:34 > 0:20:38And then we've got the girl...done by Phil.

0:20:38 > 0:20:42The girl will bend over like that. Boy's up behind.

0:20:42 > 0:20:45Put their arms up. Phil's having a great time, or Philippa.

0:20:45 > 0:20:47THEY GIGGLE She's having a great time.

0:20:47 > 0:20:48We're all high-fiving.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50- Oh, jeez.- No!

0:20:50 > 0:20:52THEY LAUGH

0:20:52 > 0:20:54I haven't got a favourite type of woman at all.

0:20:54 > 0:20:56The oldest woman I've shagged is probably about...

0:20:56 > 0:20:59I think 47. ALL GASP

0:20:59 > 0:21:01THEY SNIGGER

0:21:01 > 0:21:05I was expecting him to say, "The oldest woman I've ever..."

0:21:05 > 0:21:06- 28.- I don't know, about...

0:21:06 > 0:21:09No, I was going to say 35, something like that.

0:21:09 > 0:21:10I was going to... I was.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13Well, at least they weren't older than me.

0:21:13 > 0:21:15I don't know what to say. I'm speechless.

0:21:15 > 0:21:17That's where he's getting all his ideas from,

0:21:17 > 0:21:20these older women that are more experienced than him.

0:21:20 > 0:21:22What? A 47-year-old wants to do an Eiffel Tower?

0:21:22 > 0:21:25I don't think so somehow. THEY LAUGH

0:21:25 > 0:21:27- Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm all right.

0:21:27 > 0:21:30- Are you, though? - She's all right. She's fine.

0:21:30 > 0:21:31A 20-year-old...

0:21:33 > 0:21:37Little bit of disappointment, really, that...

0:21:37 > 0:21:40he's a little bit brazen and being a bit cocky

0:21:40 > 0:21:42and a bit over-the-top with...

0:21:44 > 0:21:45..things.

0:21:46 > 0:21:52After watching Lisa and Tina have to watch Patrick's video...

0:21:54 > 0:21:57..yeah, Daniel appears angelic.

0:21:57 > 0:22:00Night two on Ko Pha Ngan

0:22:00 > 0:22:03and angelic Daniel is busy making new friends.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05- What's your name?- May. - May, I'm Dan. Nice to meet you.

0:22:05 > 0:22:09- Nice to meet you as well.- I'm Sam. - How are you? You OK?

0:22:09 > 0:22:12I don't even know where to start. Like, are you from... Local?

0:22:12 > 0:22:14No, like, from Bangkok.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17Bangkok? OK, that's cool, that's cool. Uh...

0:22:19 > 0:22:22Uh... What do I ask? It's hard. I mean, we should just chill.

0:22:22 > 0:22:26- We're having a good time, OK?- Yeah. - Um...

0:22:26 > 0:22:28Daniel is lost for words.

0:22:31 > 0:22:33Maybe a show will inspire him.

0:22:36 > 0:22:37What are they doing?

0:22:38 > 0:22:39Does she have a penis?

0:22:39 > 0:22:41- Well, yes.- They do?

0:22:43 > 0:22:45- How? It's not very big. - I've no idea.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48- How does it work?- I have no idea.

0:22:49 > 0:22:50Do they have balls?

0:22:51 > 0:22:53During the interval,

0:22:53 > 0:22:56Daniel is invited backstage for a ladyboy masterclass...

0:22:57 > 0:23:01..only to reappear as part of the act...

0:23:01 > 0:23:03CHEERING AND SCREAMING

0:23:03 > 0:23:07..taking "mummy's boy" to a whole new level.

0:23:07 > 0:23:09MUSIC: "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23Thank you all for coming.

0:23:24 > 0:23:27Daniel is feeling proud of himself.

0:23:27 > 0:23:29I mean, I knew these guys might find it hard,

0:23:29 > 0:23:31but did they dress up like ladies and put bikinis on?

0:23:31 > 0:23:33Mm, no, they didn't, actually.

0:23:33 > 0:23:34I got turned down, I got turned down.

0:23:34 > 0:23:37- I thought I'd keep my dignity intact.- I got turned away.

0:23:37 > 0:23:39- Did I lose dignity? - Yes, yes, you did.

0:23:39 > 0:23:40I thought I gained respect.

0:23:40 > 0:23:44MUSIC: "Burn" by Ellie Goulding

0:23:46 > 0:23:49Warming up for a second night of partying are the Essex boys.

0:23:49 > 0:23:53And playboy Pat has even promised to make it a lads' only night out.

0:23:54 > 0:23:56But that was before a bucket.

0:23:56 > 0:23:58Tonight's not about birds and you gave that look.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00Tonight's not about birds.

0:24:02 > 0:24:04For us, not. It's not, but...

0:24:04 > 0:24:06..you know, maybe you should be on our level.

0:24:06 > 0:24:08I'd really like to meet my wife tonight.

0:24:08 > 0:24:09You're no going to find your wife.

0:24:09 > 0:24:14Pat simply can't help himself and he's soon eyeing up the locals.

0:24:14 > 0:24:18I'd love to have a bit of that, to be honest, cos she's pretty.

0:24:18 > 0:24:21But, I don't know if she's got a willy.

0:24:21 > 0:24:22To be honest.

0:24:23 > 0:24:26If she's beautiful and she rocked out a willy, I think I'd be like...

0:24:26 > 0:24:27"Oh, why not?"

0:24:27 > 0:24:31Probably not quite what Mum had in mind

0:24:31 > 0:24:33when it comes to cultural exploration.

0:24:36 > 0:24:39Moments later, Pat throws caution to the wind.

0:24:39 > 0:24:43But this girl isn't here on holiday.

0:24:43 > 0:24:47If he wants to take it any further, it's going to cost him.

0:24:47 > 0:24:51Pat isn't fazed and soon disappears into the night.

0:24:51 > 0:24:53Dan is not impressed.

0:24:53 > 0:24:56Pat said to me, "Quick, give me 1,000 baht."

0:24:56 > 0:24:58I was like, "Why do you want 1,000 baht?"

0:24:58 > 0:25:01He goes, "She just said we could have sex for 1,000 baht."

0:25:01 > 0:25:04I said, "Why are you going to pay for that? You're an idiot."

0:25:04 > 0:25:07If Pat's mum saw him paying for something like that,

0:25:07 > 0:25:09she'd think exactly the same as me.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12What are you doing? It's stupid.

0:25:14 > 0:25:19MUSIC: "Silhouettes" by Avicii

0:25:19 > 0:25:21Across the bay, Daniel and co

0:25:21 > 0:25:25are celebrating his starring role in the ladyboy cabaret.

0:25:28 > 0:25:31That's finished. That's what we like to see.

0:25:31 > 0:25:32I don't like to see that.

0:25:34 > 0:25:35As the booze flows,

0:25:35 > 0:25:38it's not long before they set about losing each other.

0:25:42 > 0:25:44I've had a hell of a lot to drink. I've lost everyone.

0:25:44 > 0:25:47I've lost Sam, I've lost Kieran. By myself right now.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49Fuck those guys. I want to keep going.

0:25:51 > 0:25:54But the only place Daniel is going is home.

0:25:55 > 0:25:58I've had a fucking good night, to be honest, yeah.

0:25:58 > 0:26:01It's been a lot of fun. I don't know how many fucking beers I've drank.

0:26:01 > 0:26:03Who gi... Who knows?

0:26:03 > 0:26:07I hope Kieran's OK. He'll be fine but he's too drunk.

0:26:07 > 0:26:09Once again.

0:26:09 > 0:26:11And just to prove a point...

0:26:11 > 0:26:13here comes Kieran.

0:26:13 > 0:26:14OK. There we go.

0:26:22 > 0:26:26Meanwhile, Pat has been busy broadening his horizons.

0:26:27 > 0:26:30PAT: I had a great time. It was a good shag.

0:26:30 > 0:26:33It's kind of fantastic cos I want to do...

0:26:33 > 0:26:36In my life, I want to do every single race going and...

0:26:36 > 0:26:40Thai was obviously on the list and now I can tick that one off.

0:26:40 > 0:26:44But has Pat possibly ticked off more than he realised?

0:26:44 > 0:26:46- The girl was a boy, so... - No, she weren't a boy.- OK.

0:26:46 > 0:26:49- She was a bloke. - She was a boy. She was a bloke.

0:26:49 > 0:26:51She was a bloke, that's why none of us ... her.

0:26:51 > 0:26:54I fucked her in the ... man.

0:26:54 > 0:26:56- Give me a fag. Give me a fag. - Wait, wait, wait. Say that again.

0:26:56 > 0:26:59It's bullshit, man. I fucked her. She had a...

0:26:59 > 0:27:01- Say that again. - She had a vagina, mate!

0:27:01 > 0:27:06Pat's mission to rule Britannia has sailed into unchartered waters.

0:27:06 > 0:27:08Maybe it's been a lads' night out after all.

0:27:18 > 0:27:22After a heavy night on the booze, Daniel is feeling rough.

0:27:22 > 0:27:24Maybe the buckets haven't helped.

0:27:25 > 0:27:27Who do you call when you're feeling ill?

0:27:27 > 0:27:31SHE SHRIEKS Oh! Hey, Mum.

0:27:33 > 0:27:35Wah. You all right, Mama?

0:27:35 > 0:27:37'So, I've just got in.'

0:27:37 > 0:27:40Jessica's just pouring me a big glass of white wine.

0:27:40 > 0:27:42We're gonna sit down the bottom of the garden.

0:27:42 > 0:27:46- I'm not feeling too good, Mum. - Why aren't you feeling very well?

0:27:46 > 0:27:47'What's the matter with you?'

0:27:47 > 0:27:53Just feeling really sick and a bad stomach, I guess.

0:27:53 > 0:27:55Oh, really?

0:27:55 > 0:27:58- 'A stomach bug?'- Yeah, maybe.

0:27:58 > 0:28:00You really poorly, then?

0:28:00 > 0:28:02DAN COUGHS

0:28:02 > 0:28:06Mum, I'll give you a call back maybe in a second.

0:28:07 > 0:28:09Yeah? I just need to go. I need to...

0:28:09 > 0:28:10OK. Ring me back.

0:28:10 > 0:28:13OK. Sorry. Love you.

0:28:14 > 0:28:16DAN RETCHES

0:28:18 > 0:28:22What do you think about that, then? He's not well.

0:28:22 > 0:28:24- He's down the road.- He'll be fine.

0:28:24 > 0:28:27He'll be fine. He'll be OK.

0:28:27 > 0:28:29No more cocktails.

0:28:29 > 0:28:32Well, you can say... You should have said that on the phone, then.

0:28:32 > 0:28:33I know.

0:28:33 > 0:28:35"No more cocktails, Daniel, if that's made you feel ill."

0:28:35 > 0:28:38But they are 20 and they should make that decision by themselves.

0:28:38 > 0:28:41I just want to make sure he's all right, really.

0:28:42 > 0:28:46If he's not well, I want to go there.

0:28:49 > 0:28:51HE RETCHES AND COUGHS

0:28:51 > 0:28:53OK, buddy?

0:28:53 > 0:28:54I feel so sorry for him now.

0:28:54 > 0:28:57- What colour is it this time? - Green.- Green.

0:28:57 > 0:28:59HE COUGHS

0:28:59 > 0:29:02- That's horrible.- Not good.

0:29:17 > 0:29:22On the other side of town, Pat is facing a ribbing from Dan and Phil.

0:29:23 > 0:29:25We woke up this morning, there's a towel on the floor.

0:29:25 > 0:29:29There's a massive shit stain and he's trying to say it's not him.

0:29:29 > 0:29:30It wasn't me. That's disgusting.

0:29:30 > 0:29:32HE LAUGHS

0:29:32 > 0:29:34Pat has just woke up.

0:29:34 > 0:29:36HE LAUGHS

0:29:36 > 0:29:38Mate, that's disgusting.

0:29:38 > 0:29:40- You did it.- Are you joking?

0:29:40 > 0:29:44So, yeah. That's it.

0:29:44 > 0:29:46It's going to be hilarious.

0:29:46 > 0:29:49Look at my bed and do you think I'd do that?

0:29:49 > 0:29:50HE LAUGHS

0:29:50 > 0:29:55One thing Pat can't deny are last night's international intergender relations.

0:29:57 > 0:29:59One main rule when we come out here was no prostitutes.

0:29:59 > 0:30:02What's the first thing he goes and does?

0:30:02 > 0:30:05Oh, it was spur of the moment.

0:30:05 > 0:30:09When I went back with that girl, I paid her 900 baht to have a go at her

0:30:09 > 0:30:13but, yeah, weren't a smart move.

0:30:13 > 0:30:16I can't believe you paid for a ladyboy as well,

0:30:16 > 0:30:18not even like you pulled one, you paid for her.

0:30:19 > 0:30:21It's disgusting.

0:30:22 > 0:30:25How is it a ladyboy because she had a vagina?

0:30:25 > 0:30:26Post-op.

0:30:26 > 0:30:28- No, but it was wet.- Post-op.

0:30:28 > 0:30:32It's a little bit gay, really, if you think about it.

0:30:32 > 0:30:33Just a little bit gay.

0:30:33 > 0:30:38It's disgusting to pay for a woman or to pay for sex for anyone.

0:30:38 > 0:30:40I think that's a stupid thing but...

0:30:40 > 0:30:42Because I've never done it before as well.

0:30:42 > 0:30:47I don't know why I've started in Thailand with what possibly could have been a fella, so...

0:30:48 > 0:30:49It's not...

0:30:49 > 0:30:50It's not cool.

0:30:57 > 0:31:01Pat's mum, Lisa, is about to see what her son got up to last night

0:31:01 > 0:31:06and is desperately hoping he doesn't let himself down again.

0:31:06 > 0:31:10It's just sad to see that we've seen a grotty part

0:31:10 > 0:31:14as opposed to, you know, someone that actually is a lot of fun

0:31:14 > 0:31:17and he is a funny, kind person.

0:31:17 > 0:31:19He will do anything for anyone.

0:31:19 > 0:31:22- Yeah, he's caring.- And he has a drink and he's lost the plot.

0:31:32 > 0:31:35Pat has paid her money to go with that Thai bird.

0:31:35 > 0:31:36- Oh, jeez!- No!

0:31:36 > 0:31:39Exactly. Why? Why do you need to pay for that?

0:31:40 > 0:31:41Oh, God.

0:31:44 > 0:31:48- He ain't redeeming himself, is he? - He's not, is he?- No, he's so stupid.

0:31:48 > 0:31:52- He's a good-looking lad. Why is he paying for it?- I don't know.

0:31:52 > 0:31:55Patrick definitely has a completely personality change, I think...

0:31:55 > 0:31:56Yeah.

0:31:56 > 0:31:58..when he's drinking

0:31:58 > 0:32:03and just any sense or logic goes out the window

0:32:03 > 0:32:05and that is really quite frightening.

0:32:05 > 0:32:07He's at a crossroads at the moment.

0:32:07 > 0:32:11We was hoping this would sort of like give him a purpose, wasn't we?

0:32:11 > 0:32:15Trying to show him what he wants to be or what he should be.

0:32:16 > 0:32:18I can't believe you paid for a ladyboy as well.

0:32:18 > 0:32:21Not even like you pulled one, you paid for her.

0:32:21 > 0:32:25It's disgusting to pay for a woman or to pay for sex for anyone.

0:32:25 > 0:32:27I think that's a stupid thing.

0:32:28 > 0:32:29It's not...

0:32:29 > 0:32:30It's not cool.

0:32:30 > 0:32:34Well, he knows. He's knows he's done wrong.

0:32:34 > 0:32:35Yeah, but he keeps knowing he's done wrong

0:32:35 > 0:32:37and he keeps going and doing more.

0:32:37 > 0:32:39I'm trying to find words of comfort.

0:32:39 > 0:32:41Yeah, but you always think about the fact

0:32:41 > 0:32:46that they learn by their mistakes but Patrick keeps repeating them.

0:32:48 > 0:32:54With Patrick, it's not about what he's doing or...

0:32:54 > 0:32:56It's the fact he is taking silly risks.

0:32:56 > 0:32:59You know, he could be infected by some sort of disease

0:32:59 > 0:33:04for the rest of his days, all because he was just a bit stupid.

0:33:04 > 0:33:06Daniel's mum Jill and sister Jess

0:33:06 > 0:33:11are about to witness the events that led to him phoning home ill.

0:33:11 > 0:33:16- I'm hoping Dan is up and running. - Yeah.

0:33:17 > 0:33:20So that's basically what I'm going to be looking for -

0:33:20 > 0:33:23seeing my boy back on his feet.

0:33:23 > 0:33:24It's not good.

0:33:26 > 0:33:28- Ready? - Yeah.

0:33:30 > 0:33:32Oh, my God.

0:33:38 > 0:33:41SHE LAUGHS

0:33:41 > 0:33:43- Bless him. - I think that's really funny.

0:33:43 > 0:33:46He's in a bikini top.

0:33:48 > 0:33:50Buckets!

0:33:50 > 0:33:52Oh, that's grim, innit?

0:33:53 > 0:33:55That's a lot of different alcohol.

0:33:55 > 0:33:56That's a lot of alcohol.

0:33:56 > 0:33:59But it's all different types as well, which is a bit scary.

0:34:01 > 0:34:08I'm not convinced he's actually full-on having a good time,

0:34:08 > 0:34:10whether or not he actually wants to drink all that. What do you...?

0:34:10 > 0:34:14- Do you get that from him? - But it's peer pressure.- Yeah.

0:34:14 > 0:34:16You keep up. You all want to stay out. How do you stay out?

0:34:16 > 0:34:18- You stay out by drinking.- Yeah, OK. - You don't stay out sober.

0:34:18 > 0:34:20You do. You're right.

0:34:20 > 0:34:22So you just go with it, don't you?

0:34:22 > 0:34:26Until you go, "That is it," or you're sick or you're literally about to fall asleep.

0:34:26 > 0:34:29Just a bad stomach, I guess.

0:34:31 > 0:34:32OK, ring me back. "Ring me back."

0:34:34 > 0:34:36Sorry. Love you.

0:34:36 > 0:34:38HE RETCHES

0:34:38 > 0:34:41- Oh, my poor boy.- Oh, my God, Dan.

0:34:49 > 0:34:51HE COUGHS

0:34:51 > 0:34:55- I feel bad for him. That's horrible. - OK.- Horrible.

0:34:55 > 0:34:59- You just worry about alcohol poisoning, don't you?- Absolutely.

0:34:59 > 0:35:03Well, we've just got to hope that it's a 24-hour bug.

0:35:04 > 0:35:09It's proving difficult for Jill to see her son coping without her care.

0:35:09 > 0:35:14I just don't like to think he's not well and as long as I know it's...

0:35:16 > 0:35:19..nothing then that will be OK.

0:35:19 > 0:35:23I just need to find out that it's nothing.

0:35:23 > 0:35:24I think because he's poorly,

0:35:24 > 0:35:27he'll definitely be missing you a hell of a lot more.

0:35:27 > 0:35:29Don't you think?

0:35:31 > 0:35:34- What's wrong? - I don't want him to miss me.- Why?

0:35:37 > 0:35:38I don't want that.

0:35:41 > 0:35:44Why? It's nice that he misses you, Mama.

0:35:44 > 0:35:47He misses you when he's at uni. Why would he not miss you when he's here?

0:35:47 > 0:35:51Because he shouldn't be. He should be out having fun.

0:35:51 > 0:35:53OK, but right now, he felt very ill last night

0:35:53 > 0:35:57so, actually, probably talking to you probably did make him miss you.

0:35:59 > 0:36:01You've just got to give me a minute.

0:36:08 > 0:36:09Goodness sake!

0:36:17 > 0:36:20How you doing, boys?

0:36:20 > 0:36:23This is great, Pat! "Ride an elephant," he said.

0:36:23 > 0:36:25"It won't be scary at all," he said.

0:36:25 > 0:36:28Pat has already proved that he's open to new experiences

0:36:28 > 0:36:31and today is no exception.

0:36:31 > 0:36:34- Scary.- Can you tell this little bitch to man up?

0:36:34 > 0:36:37You're sitting on some big-ass beast.

0:36:37 > 0:36:41He's making all these noises. Keeps making me a bit nervy.

0:36:41 > 0:36:44- I want to get back on that elephant. - What are you nervous for?

0:36:44 > 0:36:47I'm going to lose my flip-flops. Ah! Me flippy!

0:36:49 > 0:36:51There goes me flippy.

0:36:51 > 0:36:54No, I've still got it. This is mental when you think about it.

0:36:54 > 0:36:57- Oh, are we going in the water? - It's chilled out, innit?

0:36:57 > 0:37:02A sober Pat has found time to reflect on the last few days.

0:37:02 > 0:37:05Since I've come to Thailand, there are a couple of little things I regret.

0:37:05 > 0:37:08I regret getting so drunk on the first couple of nights.

0:37:08 > 0:37:12Even though the first night, I had a good night, the second night, really,

0:37:12 > 0:37:13it's funny to look back.

0:37:13 > 0:37:15I'm going to laugh about it in ten years' time but at the minute,

0:37:15 > 0:37:19I'm quite embarrassed about what happened with the prostitute and stuff like that.

0:37:19 > 0:37:20It's just terrible, really.

0:37:20 > 0:37:24That's disgusting but it's done now and can't do nothing about it.

0:37:24 > 0:37:26I suppose you got to learn your lesson from it.

0:37:26 > 0:37:28Oh, wow.

0:37:28 > 0:37:30HE LAUGHS

0:37:30 > 0:37:32God, I'm scared, though.

0:37:32 > 0:37:33So, yeah, I think

0:37:33 > 0:37:35I've realised that maybe I should calm down a little.

0:37:38 > 0:37:42The afternoon after the drinking session of a lifetime

0:37:42 > 0:37:44and Daniel still isn't feeling well.

0:37:44 > 0:37:46I've felt better, to be honest.

0:37:46 > 0:37:48I had a very, very bad night's sleep.

0:37:48 > 0:37:51Just up throwing up the whole time.

0:37:53 > 0:37:56I've gone through about two litres, of water, or maybe three.

0:37:56 > 0:37:59I think they're 1.5 litre bottles, so three litres of water last night

0:37:59 > 0:38:01and just nothing stays down.

0:38:04 > 0:38:07Daniel decides to seek a medical opinion.

0:38:12 > 0:38:15After a full examination, the doctor gives his diagnosis.

0:38:17 > 0:38:22Your heart is beating quickly and temperature is high,

0:38:22 > 0:38:24which means you surely have fever.

0:38:24 > 0:38:29Before Daniel can call Mum, it gets worse.

0:38:29 > 0:38:32I think he should stay in the hospital

0:38:32 > 0:38:35for a drip water injection and antibiotics.

0:38:35 > 0:38:39I think he will get better quickly.

0:38:41 > 0:38:43After travelling halfway around the world,

0:38:43 > 0:38:47Daniel has survived without his mum's care for two days.

0:38:47 > 0:38:49It's just very upsetting,

0:38:49 > 0:38:52I guess, coming all this way to Thailand across the world and...

0:38:53 > 0:38:55..I'm being heavily sick.

0:38:59 > 0:39:01Daniel is transferred to hospital

0:39:01 > 0:39:03and will spend the rest of his holiday on a drip.

0:39:03 > 0:39:05Here he is.

0:39:10 > 0:39:12You guys can go. Go home.

0:39:13 > 0:39:17- All right?- Yeah. We'll come back and see you later.

0:39:17 > 0:39:19See you later. Have a good day.

0:39:21 > 0:39:23I hope you're feeling better, man. See you later.

0:39:26 > 0:39:29It just hurts. I feel really drained.

0:39:29 > 0:39:34I am angry because I feel a lot of pain. My stomach hurts.

0:39:46 > 0:39:49Pat and the boys are in a fighting mood...

0:39:51 > 0:39:53I can't kick for shit.

0:39:57 > 0:40:00..and are completely unaware...

0:40:00 > 0:40:02- Not so hard.- Sorry.

0:40:02 > 0:40:05..of two secret spectators heading their way.

0:40:15 > 0:40:19Last time Mum Lisa saw Pat, he was cavorting with a prostitute

0:40:19 > 0:40:21and she has still not forgiven him.

0:40:22 > 0:40:24Go on. Beat him.

0:40:26 > 0:40:28Save me doing it.

0:40:31 > 0:40:34He's going to be knackered. He's not going to want to go out tonight.

0:40:34 > 0:40:35No, that'll be good, won't it?

0:40:37 > 0:40:39Right leg don't go up that high.

0:40:39 > 0:40:41Can't get his leg over.

0:40:41 > 0:40:44It's cos he HAS been getting his leg over he can't get his leg up.

0:40:45 > 0:40:47Pat is at least putting the effort into something other

0:40:47 > 0:40:49than women and booze.

0:40:49 > 0:40:52- He is concentrating, actually.- Yeah, so he's not going to be bothered.

0:40:52 > 0:40:53He is taking it seriously.

0:40:53 > 0:40:55Ooh! His leg went up a bit further there.

0:40:59 > 0:41:01LAUGHTER

0:41:01 > 0:41:02Can't be that good.

0:41:02 > 0:41:04It'd be good if he actually got interested

0:41:04 > 0:41:07- in something like this, wouldn't it? - It would be lovely.

0:41:07 > 0:41:09Keep him fit, keep him away from the bars.

0:41:12 > 0:41:13Thank you.

0:41:13 > 0:41:16He's done a little bow, he's finished. We better go careful now.

0:41:16 > 0:41:18For Lisa, it's been positive.

0:41:18 > 0:41:21- That was good to see, weren't it? - Yeah.- Discipline.

0:41:21 > 0:41:23- Yeah.- You know.

0:41:23 > 0:41:25I try and instil discipline but I...

0:41:25 > 0:41:28I just think, if you're doing something like this...

0:41:28 > 0:41:30After last night, I feel absolutely knackered still

0:41:30 > 0:41:32and doing that has just fucking knocked me over.

0:41:32 > 0:41:34- PHIL:- I think that was amazing.

0:41:34 > 0:41:36- Might take it up when I get home. - Best ever time. It was great.

0:41:36 > 0:41:38- It's fantastic.- It was. Really good.

0:41:38 > 0:41:40- It was one of the best moments, wasn't it?- Yeah, yeah.- So far.

0:41:40 > 0:41:42I did have a lump in my throat, you know.

0:41:42 > 0:41:46And when he does his little giggle and things like that and...

0:41:47 > 0:41:50..I've had so many sort of emotions this week.

0:41:50 > 0:41:55You know, I've been angry, I've been worried for him and that,

0:41:55 > 0:41:57but you just... And you think...

0:41:57 > 0:41:59yeah, but, he's still Pat, at the end of the day,

0:41:59 > 0:42:02- and there's still that lovely side. - Hmm, yeah.

0:42:04 > 0:42:07- Still want to ring his neck sometimes.- He's lucky, really.

0:42:07 > 0:42:08Cos you're such a forgiving mum.

0:42:10 > 0:42:12- But if your mum can't forgive you, who can?- Who can?

0:42:12 > 0:42:14- That's right, yeah.- So...

0:42:14 > 0:42:16BOYS LAUGH

0:42:21 > 0:42:23Daniel's mum, Jill, has been told

0:42:23 > 0:42:26her son is receiving treatment in hospital.

0:42:26 > 0:42:27She is seriously concerned

0:42:27 > 0:42:30and an emergency viewing has been hastily arranged.

0:42:36 > 0:42:38WOMAN SPEAKS IN THAI

0:42:39 > 0:42:42It just hurts. I just feel really drained.

0:42:51 > 0:42:53I don't... I don't need to see any more.

0:42:53 > 0:42:55- OK.- Do you?

0:42:55 > 0:42:57- He's crap, isn't he?- Yeah, he...

0:42:57 > 0:42:59He looks dreadful.

0:42:59 > 0:43:01He looks absolutely dreadful.

0:43:03 > 0:43:05He looks really poorly.

0:43:07 > 0:43:12I'm sorry, and we need to go and see him.

0:43:12 > 0:43:14JESS SOBS

0:43:15 > 0:43:18Jill desperately wants to blow their cover

0:43:18 > 0:43:20and visit Daniel in hospital,

0:43:20 > 0:43:23but despite being upset, Jess has her doubts.

0:43:25 > 0:43:27All I'm saying is he's going to be asleep,

0:43:27 > 0:43:30and I don't want to wake him up when he's sound asleep.

0:43:30 > 0:43:33I hear you, Jessica, but he's being woken up every other hour.

0:43:33 > 0:43:34For medication, not because...

0:43:34 > 0:43:36OK, are we good medication, Jess?

0:43:39 > 0:43:41- I'm sorry. - I think he's going to be, like...

0:43:41 > 0:43:45I think he's going to be so delusional,

0:43:45 > 0:43:47and I'm going, "I'm sorry, we've been lying to you,

0:43:47 > 0:43:49"we've been spying on you,"

0:43:49 > 0:43:52all this crap, at 11 o'clock at night?!

0:43:54 > 0:43:55JESS SIGHS

0:43:56 > 0:44:00Against her better judgment, Jill finally relents and agrees

0:44:00 > 0:44:02to allow Daniel a good night's rest.

0:44:06 > 0:44:11The Essex boys however are showing no signs of slowing down.

0:44:11 > 0:44:14The guys are attending a legendary half moon party.

0:44:16 > 0:44:21It's a heavy mix of music, mayhem and vivid psychedelic colours.

0:44:22 > 0:44:25This is the best party I've ever been to. It's mental.

0:44:25 > 0:44:27There's a great crowd, like, there's some great people here.

0:44:27 > 0:44:30There's some good-looking birds here as well.

0:44:30 > 0:44:32Everyone's having a good time.

0:44:32 > 0:44:35So I think we're still going to crack on, keep drinking

0:44:35 > 0:44:37and then see where the night takes us.

0:44:40 > 0:44:43The guys get into the groove.

0:44:46 > 0:44:48Despite knocking back the booze,

0:44:48 > 0:44:51for once, girls are not on Pat's bucket list.

0:44:55 > 0:44:57Six, eight.

0:44:57 > 0:45:00I've got a thousand baht in me hand, which is about 25 quid,

0:45:00 > 0:45:03which is enough for a few drinks and a couple of balloons.

0:45:03 > 0:45:05It is the price of a prostitute,

0:45:05 > 0:45:09but I've grown up since the other day, and I ain't doing it no more.

0:45:09 > 0:45:12- PHIL:- Good lad. - Thanks, Phil.

0:45:14 > 0:45:15Pat may be growing up,

0:45:15 > 0:45:19but balloons filled with laughing gas are considered dangerous -

0:45:19 > 0:45:22hardly the height of maturity.

0:45:29 > 0:45:31Phil, where you at?

0:45:39 > 0:45:41The boys are certainly determined

0:45:41 > 0:45:46to make the most of their last big night out.

0:45:46 > 0:45:48I've had a fucking good time. It was fucking crazy.

0:45:51 > 0:45:54Finally, after eight hours of nonstop clubbing

0:45:54 > 0:45:57and with dawn breaking, the party comes to its climax...

0:45:59 > 0:46:03..leaving Pat feeling like a changed man.

0:46:03 > 0:46:04Since I've been out here,

0:46:04 > 0:46:07I've learned that you don't have to pull birds to have a good time.

0:46:07 > 0:46:11You know, I sat there, I danced, you know, I didn't stop dancing at all.

0:46:11 > 0:46:15I just kept having Red Bulls. I kept going. And, yeah, I had a great time.

0:46:15 > 0:46:17I had a proper laugh.

0:46:17 > 0:46:19And, yeah, it's not all about pulling birds any more.

0:46:24 > 0:46:25After a sleepless night,

0:46:25 > 0:46:29Jess and Jill are tense and uneasy about visiting Daniel in hospital,

0:46:29 > 0:46:33and debating whether to blow their cover.

0:46:33 > 0:46:37It's just not what we had in our heads, of the reaction,

0:46:37 > 0:46:40the situation, like, this is just the worst possible scenario.

0:46:40 > 0:46:42Of course. Of course it is.

0:46:42 > 0:46:45You know, "We're here. Surprise.

0:46:45 > 0:46:47"We've been spying on you."

0:46:47 > 0:46:50I feel a bit apprehensive, really. I don't know, I just feel nervous.

0:46:50 > 0:46:53- I don't know why, I just feel nervous.- I feel nervous as well.

0:46:53 > 0:46:57Even if he is so much better today,

0:46:57 > 0:47:00if he's not firing on all cylinders,

0:47:00 > 0:47:02I...

0:47:02 > 0:47:04..I just want to give him a hug.

0:47:04 > 0:47:05Mm.

0:47:05 > 0:47:07Upon arrival at the hospital,

0:47:07 > 0:47:11Jill and Jess anxiously await their first sight of Daniel.

0:47:12 > 0:47:13Come on, bubba.

0:47:15 > 0:47:18- Here he is. He's coming. - He's here.

0:47:18 > 0:47:20I can see they've got him pushing someone.

0:47:20 > 0:47:22It's all too much for Jill...

0:47:24 > 0:47:29..and they take the drastic action of immediately revealing the truth.

0:47:36 > 0:47:37Hello!

0:47:37 > 0:47:39What are you doing here?

0:47:48 > 0:47:50I wanted you to be here all the time.

0:47:50 > 0:47:52Well, actually, we came on your holiday.

0:47:52 > 0:47:54- Oh, really? - We were spying on you.

0:47:54 > 0:47:56OK.

0:47:56 > 0:47:57Yeah.

0:47:57 > 0:48:00- But I just needed to come see you. - Yeah.

0:48:00 > 0:48:02- Are you disappointed? - Yeah.

0:48:02 > 0:48:05I thought you would be.

0:48:05 > 0:48:07I'm sorry, Daniel.

0:48:07 > 0:48:09I know you're sorry.

0:48:10 > 0:48:14Just overjoyed to see him. Overjoyed. And so is he.

0:48:14 > 0:48:20So it's a win-win. Just happy to be here with him.

0:48:20 > 0:48:22No offence to my friends.

0:48:22 > 0:48:25It is 100 times better having my mum and sister here

0:48:25 > 0:48:28than having them here just cos it's more...

0:48:30 > 0:48:33..uplifting, and it's nicer to have someone there

0:48:33 > 0:48:34who's more caring, in a way.

0:48:34 > 0:48:37I'm not saying my friends aren't caring, but...

0:48:38 > 0:48:40..being able to have to the love of my mum and sister is a lot more

0:48:40 > 0:48:42than what they could've given me.

0:48:45 > 0:48:47- Waa! - Waa.

0:48:47 > 0:48:48Waa!

0:48:54 > 0:48:55You're still my boy.

0:49:05 > 0:49:08Exhausted after a week of nonstop partying,

0:49:08 > 0:49:12Pat, Dan and Phil are off for a soothing Thai massage.

0:49:12 > 0:49:13Hello, are you all right?

0:49:13 > 0:49:15- WOMAN:- Everybody take off.

0:49:19 > 0:49:22Are you hurting, bruv?

0:49:22 > 0:49:26- Ticklish feet!- Yeah, I've got a ticklish feet as well!

0:49:26 > 0:49:28Maybe they wouldn't be quite so tickled

0:49:28 > 0:49:32if they knew who was heading their way.

0:49:32 > 0:49:34I am feeling so nervous.

0:49:34 > 0:49:35I really...

0:49:35 > 0:49:40I don't know about you, but I think, "Oooh."

0:49:40 > 0:49:43Most of me is sure that he'll sort of like take it in good heart

0:49:43 > 0:49:45and he'll laugh,

0:49:45 > 0:49:48but there's just a little bit of me where he might, oh,

0:49:48 > 0:49:49be a little bit annoyed.

0:49:59 > 0:50:03- What are they doing now? - I do feel a tad guilty.

0:50:03 > 0:50:04I don't.

0:50:05 > 0:50:08After a week of seeing Pat downing buckets of booze

0:50:08 > 0:50:11and disappearing off with a prostitute,

0:50:11 > 0:50:14it's time for mum Lisa and Tina to come clean.

0:50:28 > 0:50:32- You turn over now.- Turn over? - Yeah.- Which way?

0:50:33 > 0:50:35Oh, fuck off.

0:50:35 > 0:50:37Was that you doing that?

0:50:37 > 0:50:40SHE LAUGHS

0:50:40 > 0:50:43- Oi, oi, Mum.- Hello, love.

0:50:43 > 0:50:45You're browner than me!

0:50:45 > 0:50:47Yeah, but I'm up in the daytime.

0:50:47 > 0:50:50THEY LAUGH

0:50:50 > 0:50:51Oh, Mum.

0:50:55 > 0:50:58- Where have you been?- Hello, you two.

0:50:58 > 0:50:59My arse is hanging out and everything.

0:51:01 > 0:51:03I brought someone with me cos I couldn't come on my own.

0:51:09 > 0:51:11- How are you?- I'm all right.

0:51:11 > 0:51:13Well, thanks, girls.

0:51:13 > 0:51:16It's been quite emotional because obviously,

0:51:16 > 0:51:19there's things that a mum don't want to be seeing.

0:51:20 > 0:51:24And I couldn't believe that you knew you were being filmed

0:51:24 > 0:51:25and you were doing some of the things

0:51:25 > 0:51:28and coming out with some of the things you were saying.

0:51:28 > 0:51:32- Do you hate me now?- Hate you? We love you.- That's all right, then.

0:51:32 > 0:51:36But hammered, completely hammered.

0:51:36 > 0:51:38Second night a prostitute.

0:51:40 > 0:51:44- I calmed down after that. - Yeah, you did get better.

0:51:44 > 0:51:47Your mum, she was a nervous wreck, bless her heart.

0:51:47 > 0:51:51- At the end of the day, I love you, Pat.- I love you too, Mum.

0:51:51 > 0:51:53We had a good time.

0:51:53 > 0:51:56Yeah, that was a bit of a shock coming out and seeing her.

0:51:56 > 0:51:58I hope she's not that pissed off with some of the stuff I've done

0:51:58 > 0:52:01but, obviously, I've upset her about some things

0:52:01 > 0:52:03but I hope she's, you know, she'll laugh about it first

0:52:03 > 0:52:06and then have a go at me after about, like, the prostitute.

0:52:06 > 0:52:08There's a lot of redeeming to do.

0:52:12 > 0:52:17The next day, Pat and his mum have a heart-to-heart about his time away.

0:52:17 > 0:52:19Week's come to an end, Pat.

0:52:19 > 0:52:22- Been a funny old week. - It has indeed.- Yeah.

0:52:22 > 0:52:23Started off a bit...

0:52:23 > 0:52:26I have to say, I was very stressed at the beginning

0:52:26 > 0:52:27and to be so close to you...

0:52:29 > 0:52:33..and not be able to come and tell you that I was worried

0:52:33 > 0:52:35was really, really hard.

0:52:35 > 0:52:37Since coming out here, I think it's weird

0:52:37 > 0:52:40because you don't think that you will change in just a week

0:52:40 > 0:52:42but you know, I come out here a bit like it was all about girls,

0:52:42 > 0:52:45it was all about going out and getting a bit silly

0:52:45 > 0:52:47but after a little while, a few days,

0:52:47 > 0:52:50it was like, you know, it's not all about that.

0:52:50 > 0:52:53I think I've learnt about myself. I just want to keep learning more

0:52:53 > 0:52:55and changing and tweaking little bits to make myself better.

0:52:55 > 0:52:57Yeah, finding out who you are.

0:52:57 > 0:53:02Pat's not the only one who has benefited from this experience.

0:53:02 > 0:53:04Seeing Patrick and all his antics

0:53:04 > 0:53:08has been funny, sad, you know,

0:53:08 > 0:53:12all the emotions, anger, disappointment

0:53:12 > 0:53:13and then when it comes down to you,

0:53:13 > 0:53:17it's just got better and better and better the whole way through, hasn't it?

0:53:17 > 0:53:19Yeah.

0:53:19 > 0:53:20We were always amicable, weren't we?

0:53:20 > 0:53:22And always spoke and things like that

0:53:22 > 0:53:24but now I'd say that we're close.

0:53:24 > 0:53:28- I'd say we're friends. - Yeah, thank you.- Thank you.

0:53:30 > 0:53:34I think before, I was a little bit selfish and put myself first all the time.

0:53:34 > 0:53:37Even with my mates, they'd say I'm a bit selfish.

0:53:37 > 0:53:38I wouldn't help them out with things

0:53:38 > 0:53:42so hopefully, I'll get home and I can help everyone out and just be a better person, really.

0:53:42 > 0:53:45You know, if you do things perfect first time all the time

0:53:45 > 0:53:50then when something does goes wrong, eventually, you're not going to know how to deal with it

0:53:50 > 0:53:54so I think you've got to make mistakes and learn from them

0:53:54 > 0:53:57and just try not to make them again.

0:53:59 > 0:54:04Finally on the road to recovery, Daniel has been discharged from hospital

0:54:04 > 0:54:08and no-one could be happier than his adoring mum, Jill.

0:54:09 > 0:54:11There you go. Ladybug.

0:54:11 > 0:54:14Cheers to the holiday and to Daniel...

0:54:14 > 0:54:15Thanks very much.

0:54:15 > 0:54:16..getting better.

0:54:16 > 0:54:20- Thank you for doing this for me. - Pleasure.

0:54:20 > 0:54:22I'm not annoyed in any way.

0:54:22 > 0:54:25Like, I know they were obviously very uncomfortable

0:54:25 > 0:54:29watching me in such a horrible state, like so uncomfortable and ill

0:54:29 > 0:54:33so I'm not annoyed that they broke cover.

0:54:33 > 0:54:38I think if...in their situation it had to be done, like, yeah,

0:54:38 > 0:54:40I'm just not annoyed.

0:54:40 > 0:54:41Very happy they did it.

0:54:41 > 0:54:46Mm. Nice change to water.

0:54:46 > 0:54:49Dan's not quite back to his old self

0:54:49 > 0:54:51but there's glimmers that are coming through,

0:54:51 > 0:54:56so I'm sure he'll be back to where he was

0:54:56 > 0:54:58before we know it, which is wonderful.

0:55:01 > 0:55:05It was lovely to see you having a good time, you know,

0:55:05 > 0:55:10partying and then, obviously, not so lovely to see you unwell.

0:55:10 > 0:55:13Yeah, I mean, I was having a very, very good time at the start.

0:55:13 > 0:55:15Like, the weather was quite nice as well

0:55:15 > 0:55:18and then, obviously,

0:55:18 > 0:55:23illness hit and it wasn't so great after that, was it?

0:55:23 > 0:55:27Maybe it was a good thing you saw that I'm still kind of safe

0:55:27 > 0:55:31and that I'm still kind of well-behaved in a way.

0:55:31 > 0:55:33- And you like buckets. - Huh?

0:55:33 > 0:55:36- And that you like buckets. - Yeah, I guess so.

0:55:36 > 0:55:38In a way, is that a bit of peace of mind for you

0:55:38 > 0:55:44that I'm not absolutely crazy and always throwing myself off buildings

0:55:44 > 0:55:45or whatever you think I do?

0:55:45 > 0:55:49- It's the best thing. - What's the best thing?

0:55:49 > 0:55:51Well, knowing that he's fairly sensible.

0:55:51 > 0:55:53- Look at the doggie. - Oh, he's lovely.

0:55:55 > 0:55:58Next time - the fabled full moon party on Ko Pha Ngan,

0:55:58 > 0:56:02a big boozing student gets totally hammered...

0:56:02 > 0:56:04HE SHOUTS

0:56:04 > 0:56:08..and a wild boy lets it all hang out.

0:56:08 > 0:56:11- It was awesome. - In which case, I just dropped.

0:56:12 > 0:56:13I think we got this.