0:00:02 > 0:00:06In Britain today, homes have become warzones and parents don't know where to turn.
0:00:06 > 0:00:09I'm not the worst person in the world, but I don't want to be here.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12I'm just trying to be a mother.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Come on, get up, Stefan.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Get up!
0:00:18 > 0:00:21- Ow! Don't- BEEP- hurt my hand.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23Parents are desperate for things to change.
0:00:23 > 0:00:27I don't know what to do with Charlotte. I've lost total control over her.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30Three months ago, ten families took drastic action
0:00:30 > 0:00:35and sent their children to live with strict parents in different countries around the world.
0:00:35 > 0:00:39I won't let you cheapen yourself in front of me.
0:00:39 > 0:00:44- I'm going home.- You have to have discipline starting from the home.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47If you continue like this, you'll be in bed for seven o'clock.
0:00:47 > 0:00:48You are acting like a toddler.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50You go to bed. Get upstairs.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Get upstairs, Ross.
0:00:52 > 0:00:57Tonight, the teens look back over their experience to see if strict parenting
0:00:57 > 0:01:01has changed the relationship they have with their own parents.
0:01:01 > 0:01:06I got the chance to see what an arse I was being, and I got the chance to change.
0:01:18 > 0:01:2416-year-old Ross Torry from Southend was in desperate need of a strong dose of discipline.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27Despite his parents' support when he came out as gay,
0:01:27 > 0:01:32- Ross struggled to control his emotional outbursts.- Who cares?
0:01:32 > 0:01:36- Jessica is ten years old... - She think it's great.- She doesn't.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Why should she be subjected to continuous swearing?
0:01:38 > 0:01:44He'll say things like he would love nothing more than to sit there and watch us burn and die and be in pain.
0:01:44 > 0:01:49- And then take a photo of it. - Sixth-former Ross refused to lift a finger at home
0:01:49 > 0:01:53but still expected his parents to support him financially.
0:01:53 > 0:01:59- When I go to college, I expect you to pay me £31 a month for a bus pass.- Yes, we do pay...
0:01:59 > 0:02:01No, I'm talking. I'm talking.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04He does need to find the real Ross again.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08I think he knows the real Ross, he knows that person,
0:02:08 > 0:02:13because he was a happy, erm...really loving child.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21- Where are you going? - To a pub.- To a pub?
0:02:21 > 0:02:25- Yeah.- 16-year-old Brighton girl Naomi Fisher's blatant defiance
0:02:25 > 0:02:29of the rules had left her mum powerless to control her.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32I tried everything from shouting back,
0:02:32 > 0:02:37to taking away privileges like money, telephones.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Anything I could think of, nothing worked.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44Naomi sat her GCSEs a year late after being kicked out of school.
0:02:44 > 0:02:49She's been a law unto herself ever since her parents split up three years ago.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51So what time are you going to be in tonight?
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Three, four...five.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Both Ross and Naomi's parents were at their wit's end
0:02:57 > 0:03:01when they agreed to send their children to America
0:03:01 > 0:03:04to experience strict parenting first-hand.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07I didn't know where Alabama was till today.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Where is Alabama?
0:03:09 > 0:03:12- You're joking.- I didn't know there was such a place called Alabama.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15- AMERICAN ACCENT: Alabama, they talk like that. - Oh, no.
0:03:16 > 0:03:23The teens were sent 4,000 miles away to Alabama to live with the God-fearing Garnetts.
0:03:23 > 0:03:28Dad Mark and mum Lynne control every aspect of their children's lives.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31There are strict house rules and no locks on the doors.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35This is the driving contract that my dad wrote up for me.
0:03:35 > 0:03:41It has 15 rules on there, what I should and shouldn't do when I'm driving in the car.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45Mark and Lynne dictate the music their children listen to.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49We kind of go through the songs and see what he's got
0:03:49 > 0:03:52and sometimes I say, "I heard a word in that song, it's off."
0:03:52 > 0:03:54They control the TV they watch
0:03:54 > 0:03:58and know all their internet passwords.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Someone's going to raise them, either MTV and MySpace,
0:04:01 > 0:04:03or it's Mark and Lynne. I choose Mark and Lynne.
0:04:03 > 0:04:09After a nine-hour flight, Ross and Naomi had no idea what they were letting themselves in for.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13- Look, it's like Desperate Housewives.- The American dream.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21I'll never forget when I first got there...
0:04:21 > 0:04:27We were driving up to the house, and there's this bunch of nutters standing outside their door waving
0:04:27 > 0:04:32in the poxy pouring rain with umbrellas, smiling, "Hey, y'all!"
0:04:32 > 0:04:35How are you? I'm Mark.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40Watch your step. These steps are kinda steep.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Hey!
0:04:43 > 0:04:44- This is Naomi.- Mitchell.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47- I'm Hunter.- Hey, my name's Heather!
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Hey, Ross. My name's Heather.
0:04:49 > 0:04:54I was like, "Oh, my God, where have you sent me? To the local nutty home or something?"
0:04:54 > 0:04:59One thing that we don't tolerate in the least is any kind of profanity.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03No F-bombs, you know, S-H, you know, A-hole.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06That rule, no swearing and being rude, was one of the rules
0:05:06 > 0:05:11that will probably be quite hard for me, because I used to use swearing as everyday language.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14One thing that we don't allow in this home is alcohol,
0:05:14 > 0:05:18and we don't allow smoking.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22I don't think the rules are that bad, apart from...
0:05:22 > 0:05:24the smoking, of course.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27That's when I started to think, "Oh shit, what have I got myself into?
0:05:27 > 0:05:28"Oh, my God."
0:05:30 > 0:05:33During the school summer holidays, the Garnett children
0:05:33 > 0:05:36were expected to help out at the local homeless shelter.
0:05:36 > 0:05:43Unfortunately, doing things for others didn't come naturally to Ross.
0:05:43 > 0:05:48I absolutely hated the homeless shelter.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50It was like,
0:05:50 > 0:05:52"Argh, what is this place?!"
0:05:52 > 0:05:54I hated it, I didn't like it at all.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57I've got dirt on my shoes.
0:05:57 > 0:05:58- I've got- BEEP- on them!
0:06:01 > 0:06:04I need some tissue, and no-one's getting me any, I got to go myself.
0:06:05 > 0:06:10- It- BEEP- takes the- BEEP! BEEP!
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Quit using those words in here.
0:06:13 > 0:06:14It's a matter of respect.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17You may not respect nobody at home,
0:06:17 > 0:06:19but you're going to respect us here at this facility.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23Looking back at it, I cringe.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26I'm like, "Is that how I really acted?"
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Basically, I was like a spoilt little brat.
0:06:31 > 0:06:36When dad Mark found out about Ross' bad behaviour, he didn't let him off lightly.
0:06:36 > 0:06:41Hey, excuse me, can I just have your attention for a moment?
0:06:41 > 0:06:45Ross has been working here today, and an incident took place that was inappropriate,
0:06:45 > 0:06:48and there is something he would like to say to you.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52I'd like to apologise for my foul language if some of you heard today,
0:06:52 > 0:06:55and I'm sorry that I said it in front of you all
0:06:55 > 0:07:00and disrespected you, and I hope you do have a nice evening this evening.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03'I've never really apologised, I don't apologise at all.'
0:07:03 > 0:07:05I always thought it is a weakness,
0:07:05 > 0:07:08and when I was out there, I began to learn apologising
0:07:08 > 0:07:12is a stronger thing, it makes you a stronger person.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Naomi didn't manage to keep out of trouble either.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18I want to talk with you about what happened with the cigarette.
0:07:18 > 0:07:23She persuaded one of the homeless men to break the law by giving her a cigarette.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29The guy that gave you that cigarette, he knows better, we don't do that here.
0:07:29 > 0:07:34Now he's going to have to find somewhere else to stay, he's going to be homeless again.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36'I felt so bad. I still feel bad about that.'
0:07:36 > 0:07:40That made me feel like... like absolute shit, it really did,
0:07:40 > 0:07:44that I had made someone homeless for asking them
0:07:44 > 0:07:46for something that I wanted.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Like...obviously if I had known what the consequences were,
0:07:50 > 0:07:52I wouldn't have done it.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56- I think I'm going to drop it!- After a disappointing start at the shelter,
0:07:56 > 0:08:00the teens return the following day with a different attitude.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04Let's go, let's go! Let's do this.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06They're going too fast for me.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09- How did things go today?- It went great, they were outstanding.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Y'all have knocked it out.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Congratulations and thank you so much.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16I am so, so proud of you.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20I can't tell you how proud I am of you, that is outstanding.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Mark was quick to praise the teens when they had done well,
0:08:23 > 0:08:27something his father took a lifetime to do.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29I didn't hear, "I'm proud of you," from my dad
0:08:29 > 0:08:33until the day before he passed away. I looked up at him and that's when he said it.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37He said, "I want to tell you how proud you've made me over the years
0:08:37 > 0:08:41"and how proud I am of the man you've become and the father you've become."
0:08:41 > 0:08:43I'll never forget that.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45It was great.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47See you later.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49As a reward for their changed attitude,
0:08:49 > 0:08:54Mark gave the teens permission to go bowling unsupervised.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00But they were under strict instructions to obey the Garnetts' rules.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07They had only been there half an hour
0:09:07 > 0:09:09when Ross spotted the bar.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12Are we allowed in there? Has anyone got a spare cig?
0:09:14 > 0:09:19Despite the Garnetts' strict no-smoking policy, Ross couldn't help himself.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23He was smoking in front of me, so obviously I had some of it.
0:09:26 > 0:09:32But it was so good, that cigarette, my God!
0:09:32 > 0:09:35You have no idea, you have no idea.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39When the teens got home, it was a different story.
0:09:39 > 0:09:44You guys have lost the complete side of what's important.
0:09:44 > 0:09:48If we can't trust you, and we can't have any faith in you,
0:09:48 > 0:09:51there's just nothing here.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53You know what? I'm done here.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55You guys have a Coke and a smile,
0:09:55 > 0:09:58and I'll get those plane tickets ready.
0:09:58 > 0:10:04Up until that point, I hadn't seen him, erm...get really angry.
0:10:04 > 0:10:10When he was shouting, I knew that it was so genuine and that he was showing so much emotion.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12He was really passionate.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16It's like he just wanted to shake me to get it into your head.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Get upstairs.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20- Mark...- I'm dead serious.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22- Get upstairs.- Just go to bed...
0:10:22 > 0:10:24No, you go to bed. Get upstairs.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Get upstairs, Ross.
0:10:29 > 0:10:34'It made me appreciate him more, that he had actually put it to a stop.'
0:10:34 > 0:10:38Like, it really did, and it made me feel like I had, like, erm...
0:10:38 > 0:10:41that he was actually a human being.
0:10:41 > 0:10:46To really understand the teens, Mark took time out to bond with each of them.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Nice. Hello, fish.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Fish, meet Ross. Ross, meet fish.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54I was a good kid, but I made horrible decisions.
0:10:54 > 0:10:58You're a "good kid" - you're just not making great decisions.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00But just like me, you can make a choice,
0:11:00 > 0:11:02and you can begin to change, and you're doing that.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06It was nice to have obviously father-and-son time.
0:11:06 > 0:11:12We could just talk to each other, and it's something I've never done at home with my dad.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Mark's concern was a turning point for the teens,
0:11:15 > 0:11:19and had made Ross realise a few home truths.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22I'm so full of myself that...
0:11:22 > 0:11:27I've just not cared about anyone else out there, not anyone else's feelings.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31And like I say, I think everything revolves around me, it's true...
0:11:31 > 0:11:33And I brag about myself.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37It's horrible.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40It makes me feel horrible.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43After an emotional eight-day journey for Ross and Naomi,
0:11:43 > 0:11:47both were grateful to the Garnetts.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49'I cried.'
0:11:49 > 0:11:51I was just starting to realise
0:11:51 > 0:11:56how much I'd learnt from them and to put it into practice when I got back.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59They taught me how to value my family
0:11:59 > 0:12:03and respect my family and people around me,
0:12:03 > 0:12:06which was one of the biggest things I needed to learn.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Bye!
0:12:13 > 0:12:16So what's life like for Ross three months on?
0:12:17 > 0:12:21I feel like I'm... I'm more part of this household.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23I've got more of a role in it.
0:12:23 > 0:12:29I've got more of an adult structure and role in the family now.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Like I know I'm not a kid now.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Since his return from Alabama,
0:12:34 > 0:12:37Ross' parents have noticed a huge difference in their son.
0:12:37 > 0:12:43He's so much more relaxed in himself and happier, making him cope with things better.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47When we do ask him to do something, instead of the barrage of abuse
0:12:47 > 0:12:50that we used to get, he basically does it, doesn't he?
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Yeah, he does.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53It's a new Ross!
0:12:53 > 0:12:56For what the Garnetts done, I'm so thankful.
0:12:56 > 0:13:01I don't know how I could repay them, really, because they've made me such a better person.
0:13:01 > 0:13:05They've made my future look better now.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07So cute!
0:13:09 > 0:13:12- I beg to differ, definitely. - No, it's so cute.
0:13:12 > 0:13:18In Brighton, since her return, Naomi has made a big effort to patch up her relationship with her mum.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22She's my mum. She brought me into this world, she's my mother.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25She's my flesh and blood, we've got the same DNA.
0:13:25 > 0:13:29She's...part of me and I'm part of her.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Respect.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Bless you!
0:13:35 > 0:13:39Communication has improved... hugely through this,
0:13:39 > 0:13:44because as soon as the whole tone is more civil, everything is easier.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48Mark basically just gave me the guidelines for what I need to do
0:13:48 > 0:13:54and what I'm trying to achieve to better myself as a person.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57If someone that I don't even really know can believe that in me,
0:13:57 > 0:13:59then I've got to start believing in myself.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07Whoo!
0:14:07 > 0:14:10On a night out, peeps.
0:14:10 > 0:14:1516-year-old Essex girl Charlotte Hart was beyond her parents' control.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17- She just walks all over me.- Yeah.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19She's got no respect for me.
0:14:21 > 0:14:27Charlotte's parents felt powerless to keep her out of trouble at school.
0:14:27 > 0:14:32I think she goes to school for a joke and a laugh and to intimidate the teachers.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34- Teachers, I hate them, they're like- BEEP.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37They moan at you for the most stupidest little things.
0:14:37 > 0:14:43It's draining, it is, yeah, cos you think we've brought up...this girl...
0:14:43 > 0:14:48And sort of a child is a reflection of her parents, and we ain't like that.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50You wonder why they are the way they are,
0:14:50 > 0:14:53but...it's just difficult sometimes.
0:14:53 > 0:14:59In Brighton, 17-year-old A-level student Sam Northage was an angry young man.
0:14:59 > 0:15:04I'm the reason why everyone argues. I'm the reason why everything is bad since Dad buggered off.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08I'm fed up with this.
0:15:08 > 0:15:13Sam is from a devout Christian family, but since his parents split up
0:15:13 > 0:15:15a year ago and his father went to live abroad,
0:15:15 > 0:15:19he lost his faith and his mother's struggled to control him.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22I have been a strict parent,
0:15:22 > 0:15:27but in the last year, since his dad left, he's been pushing the boundaries.
0:15:27 > 0:15:32I stand up for myself, and I don't just bend over and take it whenever someone makes up a rule.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34I've spoken, that's the end of it.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- I'm not having it. - I don't- BEEP- care.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41So how would the teens cope with being sent to Jamaica
0:15:41 > 0:15:44to experience the Rose family's strict regime?
0:15:44 > 0:15:51- Come on, out of bed, out of bed! - Their rules were not up for discussion.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Watch where you're going! Come this way!
0:15:56 > 0:16:01They are rules of the house, they have to respect the rules, they have to obey the rules.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03When they break the rules, there are consequences.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06That's true, that's true, that's true.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08You didn't clean the shoes last night?!
0:16:08 > 0:16:14Mum Sharon and dad Dave believe a strict household is the only way to bring up a child.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17I don't even have to flog them, because they know the sign.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19- I'll give them the look.- One look!
0:16:19 > 0:16:22One look, and that is enough, one look.
0:16:22 > 0:16:26All I have to say is, "Get in here!" She knows that.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Discipline is a key in everything that you do.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Without discipline and the Father above,
0:16:32 > 0:16:35you will not make it,
0:16:35 > 0:16:38because you have to have discipline starting from the home.
0:16:38 > 0:16:45As soon as the teens touched down in Jamaica, they were in for a culture shock.
0:16:45 > 0:16:49Check it out... You could see barbed wire all over the walls
0:16:49 > 0:16:55and bullet-holes in half the buildings, and it was just like, "What have I got myself into here?"
0:16:56 > 0:16:58A little bit intimidating.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03I was scared, really scared!
0:17:03 > 0:17:07You know when you just sit there and you're like, "What am I doing?
0:17:07 > 0:17:09"Like, have I lost the plot or something?
0:17:09 > 0:17:13"Like why am I here? I could be at home now."
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Well, well, well...
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Come on, guys, we have been waiting.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- How is everything?- Hi, Sam.
0:17:24 > 0:17:30- Hi, Charlotte. Here's your mommy! - The teens had only been in the house for five minutes
0:17:30 > 0:17:33when Sam came head to head with the rules.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36I do smoke tobacco, and I have done for quite a few years.
0:17:36 > 0:17:41I'm fine if I can't smoke in here, but if I'm out and about, is that all right?
0:17:41 > 0:17:46- Smoking is a no-no. - No, no, we don't smoke.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49What? You cannot be serious!
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Like...your house, fair enough.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Around you and your family, fair enough.
0:17:54 > 0:17:59Nowhere in the slightest while I'm over in this country
0:17:59 > 0:18:02am I allowed to smoke, that is a bit much.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Up at the crack of dawn the next morning...
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Good morning, good morning. How are you?
0:18:08 > 0:18:10- Good.- Good, good, good.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14..and the whole family was expected to attend church.
0:18:14 > 0:18:19But 24 hours without a cigarette was taking its toll on Sam.
0:18:19 > 0:18:24I am not going to be staying in your house tonight if I haven't managed to have a fag,
0:18:24 > 0:18:28and I'm not stepping inside your church, which is apparently already starting.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Well, Sam, let me tell you this.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Sam, don't walk away from me.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Don't walk away from me.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Don't do that. That is one disrespect.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41We don't walk away from people when we talk to people.
0:18:42 > 0:18:47I did not come out here to visit the world of Sharon Rose!
0:18:47 > 0:18:53I did... I am not here wanting to just bend over to all of Sharon's rules.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Let me tell you something, Sam.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59If you continue like this, you'll be in bed for seven o'clock.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01- Please! - You are acting like a toddler.
0:19:01 > 0:19:06Fine, then - I'm a toddler, I'm an immature little child who is 17 years old...
0:19:06 > 0:19:11This behaviour will not continue here, so zip it up now. And that's it, that's my final word.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14- Sharon, you've just told me... - This is my final word.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20I didn't get anywhere with that, it was just so stupid.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24- I must have just looked like a total- BEEP!
0:19:24 > 0:19:30I was to do exactly what I was told to, there was just no leeway whatsoever.
0:19:30 > 0:19:37She taught me that there are some fights that, no matter what happens, you are not going to win.
0:19:39 > 0:19:45Charlotte had so far managed to keep a low profile, but she was about to come into her own at school.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49I hated school, I've always hated school. It looked like...
0:19:49 > 0:19:53It looked like a prison, it was like they locked you in there.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56The uniform was terrible, I looked like an absolute mess in the uniform.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00Oh, my God. I looked like a big beached whale!
0:20:05 > 0:20:11The teens' first task was to write an essay starting with, "Jamaica is..."
0:20:11 > 0:20:13But Charlotte had other ideas.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16I'd only just finished doing my GCSEs, and I thought,
0:20:16 > 0:20:19"School's done, I'm never going back."
0:20:19 > 0:20:22So I sat there and fanned myself for a bit with the paper.
0:20:28 > 0:20:32No, but it is. I'm sitting here in silence for two hours.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34I'm not doing it, end of.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38Unprecedented. We've never had a child who is so openly defiant.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42- You have to go to the principal's office.- Well, let's go, then.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Charlotte was to meet her match with Principal Mrs Wynt.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47- I hear that you are not writing the exams.- Yeah.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50- You don't have a choice. - But I've just done loads.
0:20:50 > 0:20:54It doesn't matter what you do or don't like. It's what is required of you.
0:20:54 > 0:20:59Teachers have spoke to me like that before, but you'd just be like, "Oh, whatever,"
0:20:59 > 0:21:04and then eventually, they'd be, "OK, don't do it, your loss."
0:21:04 > 0:21:06This is ridiculous.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08It may be, but that's required of you.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11But there she was like, "You've got to do it!" I was like, "Oh, shit!
0:21:11 > 0:21:13"Sorry! Sorry, mate!"
0:21:13 > 0:21:16She is going back to the room, and she's going to write the essay.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19But Charlotte's essay was full of swearwords.
0:21:19 > 0:21:24- Not what the school was expecting. - So I started off, like, "Jamaica is well hot,"
0:21:24 > 0:21:27and then I got carried away, so I'd write, "I miss my mum,
0:21:27 > 0:21:30"Sam's pissing me off, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah."
0:21:30 > 0:21:34- "The people back home don't take no- BEEP,
0:21:34 > 0:21:38- "so I don't see why these children should. Today, Sam looks like a total- BEEP."
0:21:38 > 0:21:41They can keep that work, frame it, if they want, put it on the wall.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Have a seat, Charlotte.
0:21:46 > 0:21:51People who use inappropriate language, expletives, filthy words.
0:21:51 > 0:21:55What does that tell about that person?
0:21:55 > 0:21:57That they're not a very nice person, really.
0:21:57 > 0:22:02Well, I think I'd be a totally different person if I went to a Jamaican school.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06When you do something wrong, they explain to you what you've done wrong.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10They'll be like, "Oh, you didn't word this properly," or something.
0:22:10 > 0:22:14It's about choosing. You know what's right, you know what's wrong.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18They, like, make you feel better about yourself by saying,
0:22:18 > 0:22:22"You can do it. Don't say you can't, cos you can. It's not impossible."
0:22:22 > 0:22:25But I suppose schools over here, they're just like,
0:22:25 > 0:22:28"You didn't do it right," and end of.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32When Charlotte got home from school, she had something to say to Sharon.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35I'm sorry about today, Sharon.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37- Are you?- Yeah.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Are you gonna make me proud tomorrow?
0:22:39 > 0:22:41- Yeah.- Proud, proud, proud?
0:22:41 > 0:22:43- Yeah.- Your mother proud?- Yeah.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45- England proud?- Yeah.
0:22:45 > 0:22:46Yourself?
0:22:48 > 0:22:55In an effort to get through to Sam, Sharon and Dave took him to meet 19-year-old Malachi Johnson,
0:22:55 > 0:22:57who lives in the southern hurricane belt.
0:22:57 > 0:23:02Like Sam, Malachi's father walked out on his family last year.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07But Malachi accepted his responsibilities
0:23:07 > 0:23:11and left school to get a job to provide for his seven siblings.
0:23:16 > 0:23:20That whole day was just a big slap in the face
0:23:20 > 0:23:22that I do think I really did need.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25It was really, really inspirational just to talk him.
0:23:29 > 0:23:33I'm sure like...you'd rather live my life than live out here.
0:23:46 > 0:23:52Malachi made me realise I was just giving up and taking the easy road out.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56And he was given a thousand different problems
0:23:56 > 0:24:01in a thousand different ways, and yet he wasn't just giving up, like I had.
0:24:03 > 0:24:08He made me just feel so guilty and so embarrassed
0:24:08 > 0:24:11at the way I had been acting.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14From that moment and right up to this moment now,
0:24:14 > 0:24:21- if I start acting like a- BEEP, - I will just think of Malachi, and it's an instant kick up the arse.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Well, I will see you around, Mal.
0:24:24 > 0:24:29'Talking to Malachi is what I needed to do to change.'
0:24:34 > 0:24:37After eight days living with the Roses,
0:24:37 > 0:24:41it was time for Charlotte and Sam to head home.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46This trip was incredible, just absolutely mind-blowing.
0:24:46 > 0:24:51I didn't think in the slightest it was going to be something so worthwhile to me.
0:24:56 > 0:24:57Can I have a dance, please?
0:24:57 > 0:25:03I'm glad I did it, but I wouldn't do it again.
0:25:03 > 0:25:04Oh, don't cry!
0:25:06 > 0:25:12Sometimes I think back and think, "What the hell was I doing, like, did I go crazy?"
0:25:12 > 0:25:15You enjoy your party and thank you so much.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18Yes, my brother. Move on with your life.
0:25:18 > 0:25:22Things will work for you, my brother, I know that things will work for you.
0:25:22 > 0:25:27So how has Charlotte changed since returning home three months ago?
0:25:27 > 0:25:31- Have you seen those shoes? They're mine.- Have you ever worn them?
0:25:31 > 0:25:34No. I paid a lot of money for them.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36I don't think Jamaica has changed me.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38I'm still the same.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41I don't think anything will ever change me.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44I'll always be the same.
0:25:44 > 0:25:48In Brighton, it's an entirely different story for the boy
0:25:48 > 0:25:51who was running away from family life.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53I really felt that I was gonna lose him.
0:25:53 > 0:25:57He was sort of on the edge of storming out.
0:25:57 > 0:26:01He's become part of the family again, which is lovely.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03How many pints?
0:26:03 > 0:26:05A couple.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08- Would that be two?- Yes.
0:26:08 > 0:26:09Cool.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11I thought totally and utterly before I went
0:26:11 > 0:26:14that all the rules was to make someone else's life easier.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Once I started going along with it and obeying the rules
0:26:17 > 0:26:22and going with the flow of how things were, I became so happy and so calm.
0:26:22 > 0:26:26I owe the Roses so much because...
0:26:26 > 0:26:28they're the ones who...
0:26:28 > 0:26:32pretty much shoved the lessons that I learnt my face.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36I got the chance to see what an arse I was being
0:26:36 > 0:26:40and I got the chance to change and it's just helped me so much.
0:26:40 > 0:26:41It has changed my life.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50Liz. Liz.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53- Come on.- 17-year-old schoolgirl Lizzie Paul's relationship
0:26:53 > 0:26:57with her mum, Linda, had completely broken down.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Liz!
0:26:59 > 0:27:04Lizzie was wonderful until she reached 13, then almost instantly, she changed.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06It was almost like she was possessed.
0:27:06 > 0:27:13After years of mostly getting her own way, Lizzie's parents had all but given up trying to control her.
0:27:13 > 0:27:14You can wait downstairs.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17- Get lost! Don't talk to my mates like that!- Downstairs.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Come on, guys, we're going.
0:27:19 > 0:27:24The relationship between me and my mum is crap.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28We don't really have a relationship as such cos all we do is argue.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31I can't imagine anyone making Lizzie do something.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35If she doesn't want to do it, she won't.
0:27:35 > 0:27:4117-year-old Stefan Alvarez did nothing to help at home and was driving his mum mad.
0:27:41 > 0:27:46If he's asked to do something, you can ask and ask and ask and ask
0:27:46 > 0:27:48and then nine times out of ten, I do it myself
0:27:48 > 0:27:50cos it's easier, quieter and less painful.
0:27:50 > 0:27:55Mum does everything, that's what Mum does. I don't want to change it.
0:27:55 > 0:27:59Stefan was so lazy around the house that single mum Debs sent him
0:27:59 > 0:28:03- to live in the shed at the bottom of the garden.- Come on, get up, Stefan.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07I want your washing, come on!
0:28:07 > 0:28:10He drives me up the wall and I'm not quite sure,
0:28:10 > 0:28:13short of locking him up, what to do.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15Get up!
0:28:17 > 0:28:253,000 miles away in Accra, Ghana, lives one family who isn't short on ideas.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27The Adegas.
0:28:27 > 0:28:30Go and get it. Go inside and get it!
0:28:30 > 0:28:33You know I don't like it in the room.
0:28:33 > 0:28:37If my child talks to me and talks back and talks back,
0:28:37 > 0:28:39I don't take it lightly
0:28:39 > 0:28:41and I will come down strongly on you.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43Mum Vida runs a strict regime.
0:28:43 > 0:28:50Boyfriends for 19-year-old daughter Traudi are forbidden and parents are always right.
0:28:50 > 0:28:51Time to wake up. Where are you?
0:28:51 > 0:28:54Up you get, Joshua, up.
0:28:54 > 0:28:59The Adega children get up at 5am every morning to do two hours of chores before school.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01Work it.
0:29:01 > 0:29:05- Lizzie and Stefan were no exception. - It's time to get up already.
0:29:05 > 0:29:07This is your broom,
0:29:07 > 0:29:12a lovely broom. It gets out all the sand.
0:29:13 > 0:29:18The only time I'd ever met 5 o'clock ever beforehand was coming home,
0:29:18 > 0:29:21that's the only time I've experienced 5 o'clock in the morning, that was when I got home.
0:29:21 > 0:29:24You don't wake up at 5 o'clock, you know!
0:29:24 > 0:29:28Your children are your children, they're not like your servant.
0:29:28 > 0:29:33You know, kind of, it felt like she didn't really have any respect for them.
0:29:33 > 0:29:35Arms first.
0:29:35 > 0:29:37Either way, you get it done.
0:29:37 > 0:29:43Joshua, go and wear your clothes, that's what you do, you wear your
0:29:43 > 0:29:45clothes before you come to the table.
0:29:45 > 0:29:52Thrown together into a strict regime, miles from home, Stefan and Lizzie became instant buddies.
0:29:52 > 0:29:55Stefan!
0:29:55 > 0:29:58The first few days I really got on with Stefan.
0:30:00 > 0:30:05Not in a kind of flirty way, in the fact that like he was so much like me and a bit mad
0:30:05 > 0:30:09and bubbly and like didn't really care what people thought of him.
0:30:09 > 0:30:12Made the deal that no matter what happens we're going to stick with each
0:30:12 > 0:30:15other through this cos we're the two English people who've got to show them how it's done.
0:30:15 > 0:30:18If I hadn't have had him there I don't think I'd have been
0:30:18 > 0:30:22able to cope because he was kind of my cushion.
0:30:22 > 0:30:27But the teens' closeness met with strong disapproval from Vida.
0:30:27 > 0:30:35Yesterday when I saw you and Lizzie, I thought I realised that you were a bit getting a bit close.
0:30:35 > 0:30:39If you wanted to have a relationship with Lizzie, I don't think you should start anything now.
0:30:39 > 0:30:41Nothing would happen anyway, don't worry.
0:30:41 > 0:30:44- That's why most of the relationship these days are breaking up.- Yeah.
0:30:44 > 0:30:46Because it's not carefully started.
0:30:46 > 0:30:49You're hugging, you're going to have sex.
0:30:49 > 0:30:52That's what she kind of thought and it was just friendship.
0:30:52 > 0:30:54I can tell you that now.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57- Nothing more!- If they're going to be that silly to have a go at
0:30:57 > 0:31:01us about something that small, we were going to make the most of it.
0:31:01 > 0:31:06Me and Stefan thought that we'd wind her up a bit!
0:31:06 > 0:31:11A trip to the beach gave Stefan and Lizzie the opportunity they were looking for.
0:31:11 > 0:31:15Lizzie's there in basically next to nothing, with some little top thing on top of it.
0:31:15 > 0:31:20I went into the water, messing around, splashing each other, as you do at the beach with water!
0:31:20 > 0:31:26And we saw Vida's face and she was getting more and more pissed off about this and we started thinking to
0:31:26 > 0:31:31ourselves, oh, they take this really seriously, don't they?
0:31:31 > 0:31:36Lizzie. I think you've started being a little insolent to me and I don't like it.
0:31:36 > 0:31:40I know the two of you are alone but don't get funny ideas.
0:31:40 > 0:31:42We're friends.
0:31:42 > 0:31:45- He's the only person that I can talk to on the trip.- Talk to me.
0:31:45 > 0:31:47Yeah, but as a person that I've met.
0:31:47 > 0:31:49No, no, no, no, no.
0:31:49 > 0:31:51I've even got a boyfriend at home.
0:31:51 > 0:31:55That's you but I don't like that and it's wrong for you to do that.
0:31:55 > 0:31:59Are you trying to tell me having a boyfriend at home that I've been with for 10 months is wrong?
0:31:59 > 0:32:02I think it was ridiculous, out of the ordinary.
0:32:02 > 0:32:05Just full blown shouting at me.
0:32:05 > 0:32:07I wouldn't mind if I had actually done something wrong.
0:32:07 > 0:32:12Vida's temper, she can go from real nice woman to witch in about three seconds!
0:32:12 > 0:32:13Do you think your mum would let you do that?
0:32:13 > 0:32:15What? To have a boyfriend? Yeah?
0:32:15 > 0:32:19She's allowing it because you're so saucy, because you're doing it to me right now.
0:32:19 > 0:32:22I won't let you cheapen yourself in front of me!
0:32:22 > 0:32:24I'm going home.
0:32:24 > 0:32:26Seriously, I'm going home.
0:32:32 > 0:32:37After the row, Lizzie decided to change her attitude.
0:32:37 > 0:32:42It got more than an argument, it got personal, really, really personal.
0:32:42 > 0:32:45But I had to live with her so I kind of had to really
0:32:45 > 0:32:51brush it under the carpet otherwise my life would have been made hell.
0:32:53 > 0:32:59Once Lizzie and Stefan stopped resisting Vida's authority, things took a change for the better.
0:32:59 > 0:33:03Now where are you? Clean and stack before you go and pack them.
0:33:03 > 0:33:06Clean, and if you break a plate!
0:33:06 > 0:33:09Yeah. Yeah.
0:33:09 > 0:33:11Quicker. Quicker.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14Else the heat will stay in one place for too long.
0:33:14 > 0:33:20By day four, the relentless chores began to have an effect on the boy who never helped out at home.
0:33:20 > 0:33:24They look quite snazzy, don't they? I've done well.
0:33:24 > 0:33:30It's the real simple things in life, like iron your own shirt, then you feel smart and more proud of yourself
0:33:30 > 0:33:35for ironing it and wearing it and it's a simple, silly simple lesson, just representing yourself basically.
0:33:35 > 0:33:37Yes, squeaky clean.
0:33:37 > 0:33:41Actually squeaky clean, I didn't think actual squeaky-clean existed!
0:33:41 > 0:33:45With barriers coming down, Vida and Stefan started to bond.
0:33:45 > 0:33:48That one day just changed it all, really clicked in
0:33:48 > 0:33:54me and Vida's relationship and then also clicked in the thought that this is the relationship I can have
0:33:54 > 0:33:57with a completely random woman that's trying to be my parents.
0:33:57 > 0:33:59Why can't I put the effort into being like this at home?
0:33:59 > 0:34:03Seeing how much the children respect you, it's made me realise
0:34:03 > 0:34:05that I don't really respect my mum as much as I should be.
0:34:05 > 0:34:08It's like going back with all this new knowledge of what I've been like
0:34:08 > 0:34:11and what it should be like. It's going to be really weird.
0:34:11 > 0:34:15There's something that has really snapped in you, changed, you know.
0:34:15 > 0:34:16Go and wash your hands.
0:34:16 > 0:34:18OK.
0:34:19 > 0:34:24After realising how selfish he'd been, Stefan phoned home.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26Hello.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28I'm fine, how are you?
0:34:28 > 0:34:33Oh, I've never been so happy in my life to hear my mum's voice.
0:34:33 > 0:34:37I never thought I'd ever say this but I actually really missed her.
0:34:37 > 0:34:41I have actually realised how little I do do around the house.
0:34:41 > 0:34:45I've finally realised that actually you don't sit and do nothing all day.
0:34:47 > 0:34:50It was a bit of a shock to work that one out.
0:34:50 > 0:34:55I will. You have fun doing whatever you're doing at home.
0:34:55 > 0:34:57Bye.
0:34:59 > 0:35:01Oh, I'm horrible.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07It wasn't until Vida sent Lizzie to help out at
0:35:07 > 0:35:15- a local orphanage that she started to put her relationship with her own parents into perspective.- Hello!
0:35:15 > 0:35:20The orphanage was kind of a turning point in the fact that like,
0:35:20 > 0:35:28it did really affect me, seeing all these kids that had no mum and dad.
0:35:28 > 0:35:30Whereas I had
0:35:30 > 0:35:34everything that I could imagine, all they've got is each other.
0:35:34 > 0:35:36Gorgeous.
0:35:36 > 0:35:39- Oh, he's so cute!- Yeah.
0:35:39 > 0:35:42I thought a lot about my family,
0:35:42 > 0:35:46as well as my mum. It kind of felt like
0:35:46 > 0:35:54even though I should be helping my mum more, that she should perhaps like be more of a mum to me.
0:35:54 > 0:35:57I really don't remember the last time she gave me a hug and said, "I love you."
0:35:57 > 0:35:59I really don't remember.
0:36:02 > 0:36:05Ages ago, years probably.
0:36:05 > 0:36:10After an emotional eight days, it was time for the teens to head home to their own parents.
0:36:10 > 0:36:13Right, right.
0:36:13 > 0:36:15Vida taught me a lot more about how I had to respect my mother.
0:36:15 > 0:36:18She's my mum. She's not my best friend.
0:36:18 > 0:36:24She is my mum and it really kicked in that actually, OK, I might not treat my mum the best.
0:36:24 > 0:36:28A brilliant family. Masses, loads of respect for her.
0:36:29 > 0:36:35Going to Ghana has made me appreciate my family, mum.
0:36:35 > 0:36:37I didn't really think of it as an issue before I went.
0:36:37 > 0:36:44I didn't really think, I've got a mum, I live in a house that's this size, how amazing.
0:36:44 > 0:36:47I went to Ghana, I slept on like a plank of wood.
0:36:47 > 0:36:52I got up at like, three in the morning to do housework.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56Whoa, thank God I don't really live like this.
0:36:58 > 0:37:05Stefan's been home for three months and mum Debs is eternally grateful to Vida.
0:37:05 > 0:37:09I don't know what they did to him but she did something!
0:37:09 > 0:37:12He's realised that
0:37:12 > 0:37:15if he wants something from life he's got to go and get it.
0:37:15 > 0:37:20Before I went I really couldn't really give a damn about very much at all.
0:37:20 > 0:37:23I came back and realised I needed to sort everything out properly.
0:37:23 > 0:37:25It really was life-changing.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27I want to do things with my life now.
0:37:27 > 0:37:30Life's life, you've got to get it sorted and you can't,
0:37:30 > 0:37:33the life I wanted to, you can't just coast through the easy way.
0:37:33 > 0:37:35I've said to friends like I'm joking,
0:37:35 > 0:37:39I waved goodbye to my baby boy at the airport and a man came home.
0:37:39 > 0:37:45In Birmingham, Lizzie's mum Linda has also noticed a difference in her daughter.
0:37:45 > 0:37:48I think Lizzie definitely has mellowed since she's come back.
0:37:48 > 0:37:52We still have our moments where she goes into her teenage strops,
0:37:52 > 0:37:56but overall I think the experience of being out there
0:37:56 > 0:38:00and going through what she went through has opened her eyes, really.
0:38:00 > 0:38:06I realised that my mum was a human being rather than someone that just talked crap at me all the time.
0:38:06 > 0:38:10I do have a lot more respect for my mum now and we do get on.
0:38:10 > 0:38:13- Put your hand down.- You've left a massive blob in the middle.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16A damn sight better than yours.
0:38:16 > 0:38:19It didn't change my personality.
0:38:19 > 0:38:25I mean, I'm still bubbly and mad as ever, but I do appreciate my life, my family, a lot more.
0:38:30 > 0:38:31Oi!
0:38:31 > 0:38:37In Birmingham, 17-year-old A-level college boy Josh Bresnan was spoilt rotten.
0:38:37 > 0:38:40I rule the roost in my household, whatever I say kind of goes.
0:38:40 > 0:38:44I've obviously made mistakes as he's growing up because he appreciates nothing.
0:38:44 > 0:38:48Used to always getting his own way, he never helped around the house.
0:38:48 > 0:38:52I've got it absolutely sorted, absolutely tied up.
0:38:52 > 0:38:53Mum just does everything.
0:38:53 > 0:38:59Fed up with Josh's attitude, mum Sue and dad Con were desperate for things to change.
0:38:59 > 0:39:02He needs to acknowledge what he's got. He needs to understand how
0:39:02 > 0:39:06lucky he is, what a great life he's got and it's there for the taking.
0:39:06 > 0:39:11I don't want to look in here. I don't know why we came here.
0:39:11 > 0:39:17In Bristol, 16-year-old school drop-out Charlotte Abrahams was at loggerheads with mum, Karen.
0:39:17 > 0:39:20I really don't like spending time with my mum. I really don't.
0:39:20 > 0:39:22- Ow! Don't- BEEP- hit my hand!
0:39:22 > 0:39:27She's done the basics, she's ticked all the boxes, teach your child right from wrong,
0:39:27 > 0:39:32feed and water them, blah blah blah, but I don't think I'd ever give my mum like full respect.
0:39:32 > 0:39:35Generally I'm a psycho bitch.
0:39:35 > 0:39:39If I'm cross with her about something, the reason is is just because I'm a psycho bitch.
0:39:39 > 0:39:43- I'll wear smart trousers and a top or whatever, I don't care, but I'm not wearing a- BEEP- dress.
0:39:43 > 0:39:48- I didn't ask you to. - Well you obviously are because we're in the bloody dress shop.
0:39:48 > 0:39:56When Charlotte and Josh touched down in Jaipur, India, the culture shock was immediate.
0:39:58 > 0:40:01That is absolutely mental.
0:40:01 > 0:40:04It was shocking, I really couldn't have accounted for anything that I saw.
0:40:07 > 0:40:10Like cattle roaming the wrong way down the street, stuff you can't even picture.
0:40:12 > 0:40:15I felt quite intimidated to be honest.
0:40:15 > 0:40:21But for teens who are used to opting out of family life, the biggest shock was yet to come.
0:40:21 > 0:40:25Their home for the next eight days would be with the Sharmas,
0:40:25 > 0:40:32a large extended family of 18 relatives run by disciplinarian dad, Sanjeev.
0:40:32 > 0:40:37There was like 17 people, however many it was, people that all the time around you,
0:40:37 > 0:40:42all the time just not leaving alone, just pestering you because you're like a guest and stuff.
0:40:42 > 0:40:47If Charlotte and Josh had found the Sharma family overwhelming, when
0:40:47 > 0:40:52- they went to school with 15-year-old Ankita, they had the students to face.- No talking, please.
0:40:52 > 0:40:57St Xavier's is one of the top private schools in India.
0:40:57 > 0:41:00But for Charlotte and Josh it wasn't quite what they were expecting.
0:41:02 > 0:41:06# You are with me wherever I go
0:41:06 > 0:41:10# Every moment your life bring me close... #
0:41:10 > 0:41:13I felt like it was very regimented and almost
0:41:13 > 0:41:17communist in the fact that they were kind of brainwashed into thinking India is the greatest country.
0:41:20 > 0:41:22The kids there are so intelligent.
0:41:22 > 0:41:27Westernisation and urbanisation have led to the degradation and erosion of...
0:41:27 > 0:41:33They're a year-and-a-half behind us and me and Josh were just sat there, we had no idea.
0:41:33 > 0:41:35They were doing it all in English
0:41:35 > 0:41:38and I didn't understand half the words that they were writing up on the board.
0:41:38 > 0:41:44By the third lesson, Josh and Charlotte had had enough and left school in search of home comforts.
0:41:44 > 0:41:50- Can I have a large Diet Coke. - As a punishment, the teens were given a grey card.
0:41:50 > 0:41:53Three grey cards and the student is expelled.
0:41:53 > 0:41:57Sorry for the inconvenience that we've caused to you and your staff.
0:41:57 > 0:42:02- I appreciate that. - Charlotte and Josh were once again the centre of attention.
0:42:02 > 0:42:04No one had ever been given a grey card.
0:42:04 > 0:42:07Ankita explained to me that all the school kids felt that me and Charlotte
0:42:07 > 0:42:10thought we were better than them by being white.
0:42:10 > 0:42:13Obviously that's a social perception of theirs which we were unaware of
0:42:13 > 0:42:18and by getting in trouble we actually were kind of accepted by them.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20The grey card is good for you!
0:42:20 > 0:42:22Yeah. Well, kind of.
0:42:22 > 0:42:24We've yet to speak to your dad.
0:42:24 > 0:42:27All the best with dad.
0:42:27 > 0:42:32The teens had to face Sanjeev when they arrived home.
0:42:32 > 0:42:37This is a very big embarrassment to me, to the principal, whom I have taken a special permission.
0:42:37 > 0:42:41For your information, before you had come down here,
0:42:41 > 0:42:46I spent the entire day talking out that yes, allow these two kids to stay with you in the school.
0:42:46 > 0:42:53I did feel bad because Sanjeev had told us that he'd had to work to get us into the school and stuff,
0:42:53 > 0:42:55but I...
0:42:55 > 0:43:00didn't really feel bad in any other way, just because I felt that I'd let Sanjeev down.
0:43:00 > 0:43:01Good morning. What happened?
0:43:03 > 0:43:05Not well?
0:43:08 > 0:43:10Halfway through the teens' stay in India,
0:43:10 > 0:43:13Charlotte had had enough of school and was refusing to get out of bed.
0:43:13 > 0:43:16It's really, really coincidental that I have to go to college on my own
0:43:16 > 0:43:19and it's the one day that you've kind of talked about not going in.
0:43:19 > 0:43:23- I'm not prepared to just sit in that- BEEP- classroom again.
0:43:23 > 0:43:26That left Josh to face school alone.
0:43:26 > 0:43:28- OK, all the best.- Thank you.
0:43:28 > 0:43:36- Stay put.- Without his partner in crime, Josh finally started to throw himself into school life.
0:43:36 > 0:43:43Today we'll be having a debate, so would you like to be the leader of one group?
0:43:43 > 0:43:45That day was quite pivotal.
0:43:45 > 0:43:49It's like a circle, the more you feel comfortable the more you put in and that kind of builds on itself.
0:43:49 > 0:43:54If the Indian population felt so strongly against the West they would
0:43:54 > 0:43:57have discarded American schools because they wouldn't want to be part of the West.
0:43:57 > 0:43:59Thank you very much.
0:44:00 > 0:44:03I was ready to become part of their society and they were ready to let me in.
0:44:05 > 0:44:10They were letting me reap the rewards of what you sow, really.
0:44:10 > 0:44:14As long as you give everything your all, you won't fail.
0:44:20 > 0:44:25On the day of the teens' departure, the Sharmas threw a farewell party.
0:44:25 > 0:44:28Despite Charlotte's last-minute efforts to enjoy herself,
0:44:28 > 0:44:32her overall impression of her stay in India is not a positive one.
0:44:32 > 0:44:34I didn't enjoy school.
0:44:34 > 0:44:36I didn't enjoy being ill.
0:44:36 > 0:44:38I didn't enjoy missing people.
0:44:38 > 0:44:42I didn't enjoy the meals at all.
0:44:42 > 0:44:43I didn't really enjoy it.
0:44:43 > 0:44:45It was a very good experience.
0:44:45 > 0:44:48I'm so glad I did it but I didn't enjoy their way of life. I couldn't live it.
0:44:48 > 0:44:51Cheers.
0:44:51 > 0:44:54- Best of luck. - But for Josh it's a different story.
0:44:54 > 0:44:59Staying with Sanjeev and his family has left a big impression on him.
0:44:59 > 0:45:03Yeah, I'm really glad I did it. It was a fantastic opportunity in life,
0:45:03 > 0:45:05something that
0:45:05 > 0:45:08hardly anyone in their life will get to experience.
0:45:08 > 0:45:12Something that I think can have a big outcome on how my life ends out really.
0:45:12 > 0:45:16I think the bottom line is that Sanjeev's a very good father to his family.
0:45:16 > 0:45:18There's a lot of his ideals that I really wouldn't have agreed with,
0:45:18 > 0:45:23but now I've seen them in action and I've seen the way that he
0:45:23 > 0:45:27enforces those rules and, in the great scheme of things, that will help significantly.
0:45:37 > 0:45:40Come on, love. It's 10.45 am now.
0:45:40 > 0:45:42Get out!
0:45:42 > 0:45:4716-year-old schoolboy Grant Stevens treated his mum and sister like slaves.
0:45:47 > 0:45:51- Can you take your belt off your jeans? I can't wash that. - Oh, my good Lord!
0:45:51 > 0:45:56He hadn't seen his dad since he was six and he thought he ruled the house.
0:45:56 > 0:46:01The way I see it I am king of the house and my mum and my sister are
0:46:01 > 0:46:06the servants or skivs of the house and if they don't do the job, the job doesn't get done.
0:46:06 > 0:46:11Because he's the man of the house and there isn't another father figure in this house for Grant,
0:46:11 > 0:46:14Grant just thinks that he doesn't have to do anything.
0:46:14 > 0:46:15There's washing up that's been in the kitchen since last night.
0:46:15 > 0:46:19To add to mum Karen's problems, two years ago
0:46:19 > 0:46:22she was diagnosed with lupus, an incurable form of arthritis.
0:46:22 > 0:46:31He knows sometimes I can't do certain things, like lifting heavy saucepans and peeling potatoes.
0:46:31 > 0:46:33It's like he's just not interested.
0:46:36 > 0:46:38No!
0:46:38 > 0:46:41I needed that. Who's got a straw?
0:46:41 > 0:46:4517-year-old college girl Lucy Dodds took her parents completely for granted.
0:46:45 > 0:46:49We drank the spirits and we're really out of it.
0:46:49 > 0:46:54Mum Sarah and dad Mark had all but given up.
0:46:54 > 0:46:57If Lucy wasn't around, generally, we don't argue, do we?
0:46:57 > 0:46:59- When do we argue?- No, not really.
0:46:59 > 0:47:02It's generally about Lucy, you know.
0:47:02 > 0:47:06So I don't know how long that could go on for before we get divorced.
0:47:06 > 0:47:08But all this was about to change.
0:47:08 > 0:47:15Grant and Lucy's home for the next eight days would be in South Africa with the Moolman family.
0:47:15 > 0:47:19They run a 7,000 acre farm in the middle of the wilderness.
0:47:19 > 0:47:25Discipline is important, because if you don't have discipline you're not a human being. You're an animal.
0:47:25 > 0:47:29Dad Hannes and mum Alma take no prisoners.
0:47:29 > 0:47:33If they don't listen I take my belt and give them hiding on their backsides.
0:47:35 > 0:47:38Welcome here. Let's get inside.
0:47:38 > 0:47:40As soon as the teens arrived at the farm...
0:47:40 > 0:47:44- Carry it up the steps. Don't drag it up.- ..they were read the riot act.
0:47:44 > 0:47:46No alcohol or tobacco.
0:47:46 > 0:47:49If I find you smoking
0:47:49 > 0:47:51you'll have to eat that packet.
0:47:51 > 0:47:53I'm telling you now straight.
0:47:53 > 0:47:58If I find you drinking I'll give you enough drink to drink for the rest of your life.
0:47:58 > 0:48:01Do you understand me clearly on this point?
0:48:01 > 0:48:04For the first couple of hours I thought Hannes was
0:48:04 > 0:48:06the dictator.
0:48:06 > 0:48:09He was the king of the family.
0:48:09 > 0:48:14What he said went and no-one had no ifs or buts about it.
0:48:14 > 0:48:16If you did, you were going to get shouted at or punished.
0:48:21 > 0:48:23The teens were to spend the rest of the week at Cradock High.
0:48:23 > 0:48:25A strict state school, it didn't take long for
0:48:25 > 0:48:30Lucy and Grant to break the rules and upset head teacher Mr Boonzaaier.
0:48:30 > 0:48:33I would ask you to properly tie your ties.
0:48:33 > 0:48:35Thank you.
0:48:35 > 0:48:38Lucy, your hair is far too loose.
0:48:38 > 0:48:43Our main purpose is academics but we also have a sporting side.
0:48:43 > 0:48:45I don't do sport.
0:48:45 > 0:48:47Do you have a medical certificate?
0:48:47 > 0:48:49No. It's a personal reason.
0:48:49 > 0:48:52I didn't do it in school for two years in my previous school so...
0:48:52 > 0:48:54Well, boy, you're now in Cradock High School.
0:48:54 > 0:48:56- No, but...- I'm sorry for you.
0:48:56 > 0:48:59I'd rather sit and write lines but I don't do sport.
0:48:59 > 0:49:02- You will be there this afternoon. - I'll be there but I can't be taking part.- You will take part.
0:49:02 > 0:49:07I won't do anything that I don't want to do. No-one's gonna force me.
0:49:07 > 0:49:12When I found out that it was the sports day at the school, it was like, "No, I'm not taking part."
0:49:16 > 0:49:18- Listen, Grant. You will play on the wing.- No, no, no.
0:49:18 > 0:49:21- Listen, let me just finish.- No.
0:49:21 > 0:49:24Let me just finish.
0:49:24 > 0:49:28I would like you to participate to get the group feeling in our school.
0:49:28 > 0:49:31- No!- You can see there's a lot of guys who are small.
0:49:31 > 0:49:33- They will not...- No, I'm not playing.
0:49:33 > 0:49:36- I promise you they will not tackle you.- No, I'm not going to do it.
0:49:36 > 0:49:39No, not going to happen.
0:49:39 > 0:49:45It was just me being a complete spoiled brat and, in some cases,
0:49:45 > 0:49:49I've missed some opportunities just because I didn't want to do it.
0:49:49 > 0:49:54While Grant rebelled on the rugby pitch, Lucy was fighting her own battles...
0:49:54 > 0:49:59- Oh, no.- ..and was refusing to take off her make-up.
0:50:02 > 0:50:04- I can't take that off.- Why not?
0:50:04 > 0:50:07I can't. I would rather have detention.
0:50:07 > 0:50:14Lucy continued to break all school rules, much to the disgust of her fellow pupils.
0:50:19 > 0:50:21I don't care.
0:50:21 > 0:50:26You did a terrible thing yesterday by smoking in your school clothes right in front of the school.
0:50:26 > 0:50:29That is damage to the school I cannot repair.
0:50:29 > 0:50:33As sad as it is for me, right now, I've given you an order.
0:50:33 > 0:50:37You've refused that order, so then you are not welcome in the school any more.
0:50:39 > 0:50:41- Thank you. - But I just knew for a fact,
0:50:41 > 0:50:45the one to have a go at me would be Hannes because that's how he is.
0:50:45 > 0:50:47He would rather shout and whatever.
0:50:47 > 0:50:51So I sort of prepared myself. I knew that,
0:50:51 > 0:50:55yeah, I was gonna get completely shouted at, but then it could only
0:50:55 > 0:50:57get better after that because I'd hit rock bottom then.
0:50:57 > 0:50:59D'you know what I mean? Things could only improve.
0:50:59 > 0:51:01I've never been
0:51:01 > 0:51:03insulted like this in my life.
0:51:03 > 0:51:07If you were my daughter, you don't want to know what would happen.
0:51:07 > 0:51:08I tried my best.
0:51:08 > 0:51:10- That's all I can do.- Right.
0:51:10 > 0:51:12- So there you go.- Right, thank you.
0:51:15 > 0:51:20Determined to instil some of his morals in the teens, Hannes turned his attention to Grant.
0:51:20 > 0:51:23I want to take away this whole thing.
0:51:23 > 0:51:26- What!? - I want all these stones removed.
0:51:26 > 0:51:28- They're heavy.- Pick them up.
0:51:28 > 0:51:30I can't pick them up. They're too heavy.
0:51:30 > 0:51:34Hannes, if I can't pick this up you could not expect me to do all of this.
0:51:34 > 0:51:37- Pick it up. You can. Put it in. - Taking it upon himself to make
0:51:37 > 0:51:41Grant a real man, Hannes set him endless chores.
0:51:41 > 0:51:44- Grant.- This is like slave work.
0:51:44 > 0:51:52At that point, I think I knew that I'd have to give it my all just to show him that I could do it.
0:51:52 > 0:51:58But I didn't do it and it was like I let him down but, more importantly, and let myself down.
0:51:58 > 0:52:02Where's Grant now?
0:52:02 > 0:52:03What's happening here?
0:52:03 > 0:52:05What d'you mean?
0:52:05 > 0:52:07You were picking out all the small ones.
0:52:07 > 0:52:10I told you I couldn't pick up the big ones.
0:52:10 > 0:52:14If I can't pick up a pathetic one like that, how do you expect me to do stuff like this?
0:52:14 > 0:52:18You know, Grant, I spoke to your mother two days ago already.
0:52:18 > 0:52:25Your mother told me you were a very good boy until five years ago you turned bad.
0:52:25 > 0:52:28You got more lazy and more lazy and more lazy.
0:52:30 > 0:52:35Grant, all I expect from you now is those rocks you've dropped in the gate, take them,
0:52:35 > 0:52:40throw them towards the fence and open the gate towards the outside.
0:52:40 > 0:52:42Understand? Right.
0:52:42 > 0:52:45You do that now. Thank you.
0:52:45 > 0:52:51He started talking about my mum and that made something click in my mind.
0:52:51 > 0:52:53I felt like I was contributing to my mum's illness.
0:52:53 > 0:53:00It felt like I was kind of like the illness and it was like I needed to help my mum.
0:53:00 > 0:53:06It just showed me that, from another person's point of view, I was a complete arsehole.
0:53:06 > 0:53:12Gradually, the Moolmans' strict regime appeared to be getting through to Grant and Lucy.
0:53:12 > 0:53:19If the kids have to do a chore it's 10 times, 20 times harder than what I ever have to do at home.
0:53:19 > 0:53:24It just made me think, "For Christ's sake, when you was back at home, why
0:53:24 > 0:53:28"didn't you just follow their rules and just not even moan about it?"
0:53:28 > 0:53:32A bit of washing up takes 10 minutes.
0:53:32 > 0:53:34Are you finished? Hey?
0:53:34 > 0:53:36Where are you underneath this?
0:53:36 > 0:53:38You see me doing that to Liebe all the time, eh?
0:53:38 > 0:53:43You're going to pack away the stuff for the windows and you can
0:53:43 > 0:53:47- have a bath or shower and do your hair the way you want to do it. - OK. Thank you.
0:53:49 > 0:53:53After a week of constant pressure from Hannes,
0:53:53 > 0:53:57Grant began to bond with his new father figure on a hunting trip.
0:53:57 > 0:54:00- Oh.- Well done, Grant.
0:54:00 > 0:54:03It's a pity you didn't get it but you tried.
0:54:03 > 0:54:05- It was nice.- It was.- You enjoyed it?
0:54:05 > 0:54:07Yes, I did. Thank you.
0:54:07 > 0:54:09Pleasure.
0:54:09 > 0:54:13It was mine and his time to bond. It was a father and son kind of bond
0:54:13 > 0:54:17and I think he wanted me to know what it was like having a father figure.
0:54:17 > 0:54:23Grant could finally open up about the father he hadn't seen for 10 years.
0:54:23 > 0:54:25I've grown up without him so much.
0:54:25 > 0:54:27He was nobody to look up to.
0:54:27 > 0:54:31No. I can tell you now, if he walked through that door right now and
0:54:31 > 0:54:35was wanting to talk to me, I would walk out and I would not turn back.
0:54:35 > 0:54:36I would not think twice. I would just walk.
0:54:36 > 0:54:42I consider you as my son now because I'm looking after you, although only for eight days.
0:54:42 > 0:54:49I want you to continue in growing with discipline and respect.
0:54:49 > 0:54:53Don't stop. Continue work on yourself.
0:54:53 > 0:54:54Work hard at it.
0:54:54 > 0:54:59We came away from the trip actually having more respect for each other.
0:54:59 > 0:55:01Take a man's hand.
0:55:01 > 0:55:03Take it like a man's hand.
0:55:03 > 0:55:07- Be good, eh?- I will. Thank you. Bye.
0:55:14 > 0:55:18Since returning home three months ago, Grant is now a changed man.
0:55:18 > 0:55:24No longer at war with mum Karen, he's eager to help around the house.
0:55:24 > 0:55:28He has really changed a lot and he's starting to be really good again.
0:55:28 > 0:55:31I can see the Grant when he was about 11.
0:55:31 > 0:55:35I'm getting the old Grant back and he does make us giggle and laugh.
0:55:35 > 0:55:37Are you embarrassed?
0:55:37 > 0:55:43If I was able to talk to the Moolman family now, I'd say a definite thank you to all of them.
0:55:43 > 0:55:45Here you go.
0:55:45 > 0:55:49They taught me, like, you only get what you put in, really.
0:55:49 > 0:55:51Thank you.
0:55:51 > 0:55:54If you don't have respect in your family, you don't really have anything.
0:55:54 > 0:55:56I love you, Mummy.
0:55:56 > 0:55:58I love you, too, Grant.
0:55:58 > 0:56:04In Essex, Lucy's stay with the Moolmans has given her plenty of food for thought.
0:56:04 > 0:56:06This is on the plane.
0:56:06 > 0:56:08I got to see the sun come up.
0:56:08 > 0:56:11I don't feel like going out clubbing and drinking alcohol.
0:56:11 > 0:56:13That's not actually important at all.
0:56:13 > 0:56:17I just want to really do well at college, as well as I can.
0:56:17 > 0:56:19Getting drunk, what's the point in that?
0:56:19 > 0:56:22She has changed quite a lot. When I...
0:56:22 > 0:56:25think back on how she was to how she is now, definitely.
0:56:25 > 0:56:29She's not so immature, I suppose.
0:56:29 > 0:56:33It's just amazing what 10 days can do.
0:56:33 > 0:56:36I'd never have thought it would change my life this much.
0:56:36 > 0:56:39I nearly cried when I had to say goodbye to him.
0:56:39 > 0:56:42The whole experience has made me feel like you can do anything.
0:56:42 > 0:56:44For the rest of my life, I'll be thinking that was
0:56:44 > 0:56:47just the best thing I've ever done in my whole life.
0:56:49 > 0:56:51Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:56:51 > 0:56:54Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk