0:00:02 > 0:00:06'Many parents raise their kids on a diet of discipline...'
0:00:06 > 0:00:09Don't come back until you've checked your answers.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12- '..rigid boundaries...' - Drinking, drugs and sex.
0:00:12 > 0:00:16They're selfish behaviours that destroy lives.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18'..and consequences.'
0:00:18 > 0:00:20RINGS BELL
0:00:20 > 0:00:26Some might say that my parents are strict. We'd rather call it love.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29ROCK MUSIC
0:00:29 > 0:00:33'Can traditional parenting change rebellious British teenagers?'
0:00:33 > 0:00:38I need some more booze! Where is my booze?
0:00:38 > 0:00:41If someone says, "You will do this." I say, "No I won't."
0:00:41 > 0:00:45I get away with murder, really! I can do anything I want.
0:00:45 > 0:00:50- Big lack of respect for authority. - I wake up whenever I want.
0:00:50 > 0:00:55I don't care what anyone thinks about me. It's up to me, isn't it?
0:00:55 > 0:01:00'Two teens who've never met will leave fraught families behind...'
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Don't embarrass your family!
0:01:02 > 0:01:08'..head off to the far corners of the world and live according to rules imposed by new parents.'
0:01:08 > 0:01:12In my house, you're going to do as I tell you.
0:01:12 > 0:01:16Let me make it clear. My children won't defy me.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19This is wrecking my head! This is wrecking...my head!
0:01:19 > 0:01:22When I punish, I punish really hard.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25I'm sick of being treated like a kid.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Shut up and listen to me.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30In the US, you have to do what an adult says.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32They are actually insane.
0:01:32 > 0:01:38The British people's moral fabric is disintegrating.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47What are you up to tomorrow?
0:01:47 > 0:01:52- Having a party.- Have you asked Mum? - Yeah.- No, you didn't.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54It was, "I'm having a party."
0:01:54 > 0:01:58BLEEP, Mum. I'm not staying in here. You're making that up.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02'16-year-old Gemma Lyons is an angry young woman.'
0:02:02 > 0:02:05I'm going to put that girl in hospital!
0:02:05 > 0:02:09When I'm angry, I don't know. I don't care what I say.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13I shout, scream, push stuff over.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16I am going to knock that boy out.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18She's ASBO personified.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22The pure hatred, I can't understand where it's come from.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25'Gemma was a dedicated student,
0:02:25 > 0:02:30'but she's just been expelled from her second school.'
0:02:30 > 0:02:35I must have spent £30,000 sending Gemma to private school.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37She was downright rude
0:02:37 > 0:02:41in mass, sitting next to one of the old nuns.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43They had to drag her out.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47Swearing at teachers is wholly unacceptable,
0:02:47 > 0:02:49against the college code of conduct.
0:02:49 > 0:02:53Gemma did it. That's gross misconduct. Gemma has to go.
0:02:53 > 0:02:59'With no school and no job, Gemma has plenty of time to party.'
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Gemma's smashed, as always!
0:03:01 > 0:03:04'She's good at getting her own way.'
0:03:04 > 0:03:06She's a pretty girl.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09She flutters her eyelids and the boys come running.
0:03:09 > 0:03:13I can make these boys fall in love with me and become obsessed with me.
0:03:13 > 0:03:18I think it's absolutely disgusting. She uses people, basically.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22ALL SING
0:03:22 > 0:03:24'I would like Gemma to change.'
0:03:24 > 0:03:28The family would get on much better.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31We could do things like go out for a family day.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34She does seem to be getting worse.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38Um... She can just make everyone's life hell.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42You've been kicked out of everything you've been in.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45There's no more last chances.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51What is that?
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- What?- Up here?
0:03:53 > 0:03:55I got that piercing done, didn't I?
0:03:55 > 0:04:02'17-year-old Jack Travers' obsession with goth culture is driving his mother mad.'
0:04:02 > 0:04:06- What?- I said I didn't want you to have it.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08It's my decision, isn't it?
0:04:08 > 0:04:12If you were whingeing about one in my face, fair enough.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16- You've got enough in your face! - It's not on show.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18We're getting booze in a minute!
0:04:18 > 0:04:23He's got into this goth stuff, put himself in this little category.
0:04:23 > 0:04:28It was a conscious effort to change my appearance,
0:04:28 > 0:04:32to be someone who people would like, so I can have more friends,
0:04:32 > 0:04:34not just be the person I was.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38Jack was a very loving boy. He gave me away at our wedding.
0:04:38 > 0:04:43He was proud as punch to take me down the aisle
0:04:43 > 0:04:46and he suddenly changed to...
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- A stroppy teenager.- Yeah. - That couldn't care less.
0:04:49 > 0:04:54'Jack's dropout lifestyle isn't the only source of tension.'
0:04:54 > 0:04:58I don't get on with my family at all.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00You constantly have a go at me.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Nothing I do is ever right.
0:05:02 > 0:05:07'Jack is openly bi-sexual with his friends
0:05:07 > 0:05:12'but refuses to discuss sexuality at home for fear of being ridiculed.'
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- 'He's a confused boy.- Very confused. - About everything.'
0:05:15 > 0:05:20- He'd play ball then Barbie when he was younger.- Blame you for that.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24We can't have dinner without someone making some comment about me.
0:05:24 > 0:05:29When he's having a fag, he stands like this.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33He's like a big woman. He's awful.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36I'll come and sit in my room or I'll go out.
0:05:36 > 0:05:41They don't seem to care that it upsets me. They get a laugh.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45I hope that Jack will conform with life a bit more.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48I'm terrified he's going be a dropout.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51'To try and get their lives back on track,
0:05:51 > 0:05:58'both families have agreed to send their teenagers to strict parents on the other side of the world.'
0:05:58 > 0:06:01- Don't embarrass your family! - I won't.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Be good.
0:06:03 > 0:06:08Stop mincing. He's definitely mincing.
0:06:08 > 0:06:13They're getting a spoiled little boy. They've got a big shock coming.
0:06:13 > 0:06:18I'm relieved. I need nine, ten days away from her at the moment.
0:06:18 > 0:06:23Someone who's never experienced Gemma, I don't know how they'll react.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25- Hi, are you all right?- Yeah.- Good.
0:06:25 > 0:06:29- What's your name?- Gemma. You?- Jack.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31- Do you want a fag?- Oh, go on, then.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- There you go.- Cheers.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37'Jack and Gemma are heading here,
0:06:37 > 0:06:42'the Ayalon Valley in the centre of Israel.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49'They'll be living with the Shakeds, orthodox Jews
0:06:49 > 0:06:53'who parent according to laws set out in the Old Testament.'
0:06:53 > 0:06:57WOMAN: We try to instill in our children
0:06:57 > 0:07:03that there's a higher authority governing their words and especially their deeds.
0:07:03 > 0:07:09'Mum Tzippi is a writer. Dad David, a lawyer. They have five children.'
0:07:09 > 0:07:12They are going to be quite shocked.
0:07:12 > 0:07:16But I hope they'll understand that we make good choices
0:07:16 > 0:07:18in life.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22'David and Tzippi emigrated to Israel from Los Angeles
0:07:22 > 0:07:24'to lead a religious life.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28'They rule their home with a quiet authority.'
0:07:28 > 0:07:31'Every individual must fulfil'
0:07:31 > 0:07:34a particular role in this world.
0:07:34 > 0:07:41DAVID: 'We're caretakers of our children, here to make sure they'll be the best they can be.'
0:07:41 > 0:07:46'They restrict access to anything they consider a negative influence.'
0:07:46 > 0:07:50TZIPPI: We're careful as to what we expose our children to,
0:07:50 > 0:07:52where they're allowed to go,
0:07:52 > 0:07:57the kinds of movies or television programmes they're able to watch.
0:07:57 > 0:08:02'We even screen the books that they read for vulgar language.'
0:08:02 > 0:08:08A lot of teens do take part in partying events.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10I'm happy I'm not a part of that.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14TZIPPI: The biggest sin, from a Jewish point of view,
0:08:14 > 0:08:17is not utilising
0:08:17 > 0:08:20your God-given talent and potential.
0:08:22 > 0:08:28'After a five-hour flight, Jack and Gemma touch down in Tel Aviv,
0:08:28 > 0:08:31'Israel's most cosmopolitan city.'
0:08:31 > 0:08:34- I'm excited.- I'm excited, too.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38Need a fag, though.
0:08:41 > 0:08:48'Israel was created as a Jewish homeland in 1948 after the horrors of the Nazi holocaust.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52'Three-quarters of its population are practising Jews.'
0:08:52 > 0:08:58- We're more into the religious part. - Religious people get on my nerves.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02'The Shakeds live in a gated settlement 30 miles inland.
0:09:02 > 0:09:08'Each family is vetted by a community council before they're invited to move in.
0:09:08 > 0:09:15'Families that do not adhere to the standards of the cooperative can be asked to leave.'
0:09:15 > 0:09:17ALL: Shalom! >
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Hiya.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23- I'm Jack.- I'm David.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26- Nice to meet you.- I'm Gemma.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Matan.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30- Hi, I'm Ciona. > - I'm Gemma.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Nice to meet you.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36'For the next eight days, Jack and Gemma will be required
0:09:36 > 0:09:40'to observe the strict rules of orthodox Judaism.'
0:09:40 > 0:09:42TZIPPI: Our kids are quite musical.
0:09:42 > 0:09:47The two girls play the harp. Matan plays the piano.
0:09:47 > 0:09:51- You guys play musical instruments? - I can't play anything.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54- I don't, but I love the guitar. - All right.
0:09:57 > 0:10:02- This is our library. Do you enjoy reading?- A little bit.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05- DAVID: What's so funny? - Sorry. Carry on.
0:10:05 > 0:10:10'Neither teen has any idea exactly what they've let themselves in for.'
0:10:10 > 0:10:15OK, Gemma, here's your room. I want you to come on in.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21'I thought it was really rude.'
0:10:21 > 0:10:24He shook Jack's hand but didn't touch mine.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28None of them boys kissed... greeted me.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31All right, Jack. Here's your room for the week.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Come on in. Relax.
0:10:34 > 0:10:38They're really nice. They weren't what I was expecting at all.
0:10:38 > 0:10:43They don't seem that strict, but they haven't had any reason yet.
0:10:43 > 0:10:48'In Judaism, the fifth commandment states,
0:10:48 > 0:10:51'"Honour your father and your mother."'
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Can you come to the dining room, please?
0:10:54 > 0:11:01'Before the Shakeds fully welcome the teens, they explain the principles that govern their house.'
0:11:01 > 0:11:05Shalom, shalom. We want to welcome you again.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Now, we'll go over the house rules.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10You're coming into an orthodox Jewish home.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13You're also in a very religious community.
0:11:13 > 0:11:18Girls dress quite modestly. They wear long-sleeved shirts.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20At least up to the elbows.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24I'm sorry, I haven't got any of that so...
0:11:24 > 0:11:26So we have to take care of that.
0:11:26 > 0:11:32A Biblical commandment is that men may not dress in women's clothing.
0:11:32 > 0:11:37Make-up will not be permissible for men.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40- OK.- You sit there saying OK. It's not BLEEP OK!
0:11:40 > 0:11:43There's no cussing.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47There's no smoking in this community. No alcohol.
0:11:47 > 0:11:52There is no physical contact whatsoever between the sexes.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Boys may not shake hands with girls,
0:11:55 > 0:11:58and vice versa, until one is married.
0:11:58 > 0:12:03Let's move on to the living room and we'll be with you in a few minutes.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13'To comply with Jewish orthodoxy,
0:12:13 > 0:12:18'David and Tzippi must tackle the teens' outfits urgently.'
0:12:18 > 0:12:22TZIPPI: What we do require is that the clothing you wear
0:12:22 > 0:12:25will conform to community standards.
0:12:25 > 0:12:29To be honest with you, I'll wear what I want.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Then you'll probably wind up staying indoors.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36That's that, but I will wear what I want.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40You will be ashamed, Gemma, travelling thousands of kilometres.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44- It may be. - And not being able to see Israel.
0:12:44 > 0:12:50Can I ask, from what I'm wearing, what would you say wasn't OK?
0:12:50 > 0:12:53We would have to get rid of the nail polish, Jack.
0:12:53 > 0:12:58I don't know what you call those wrist guards, whatever it's called.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Religious Jews cover their hair with a kippa.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03You have two choices.
0:13:03 > 0:13:08Wear your hair up in a baseball cap so they don't see your long hair.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12- Or choose to cut your hair. - What's wrong with having long hair?
0:13:12 > 0:13:16I've seen loads of people with long hair.
0:13:16 > 0:13:23You're in a religious Jewish community and you won't find one teenage guy with long hair.
0:13:23 > 0:13:29'Neither Gemma nor Jack are at all religious.'
0:13:29 > 0:13:33Just cos they're Jewish, they can do whatever they want.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37They said, "You'll stand out if you don't do this."
0:13:37 > 0:13:41I don't care if I stand out or not.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44I think I'd best give these in.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48They can have one nail varnish.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51I've got another one, so it's all right.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53'Hoping for an easy life,
0:13:53 > 0:13:58'Gemma decides to try and make a good first impression.'
0:13:58 > 0:14:02- Is this OK? Cos it covers... - Actually, it's not.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06- You can still see here, so I think...- Oh, come on!
0:14:06 > 0:14:10- You're being a bit picky now. - I'm being honest.
0:14:10 > 0:14:14- I'm happy to help you find something.- No, this will be fine.
0:14:14 > 0:14:19Sure, if you'd like to stay in the house, that would be fine.
0:14:20 > 0:14:25I totally understand where they're coming from. It's their religion.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29What I don't like is trying to force them on me.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33Gemma seems to be quite spirited.
0:14:33 > 0:14:38She's really wanting to test the limits with us, pushing it.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42She might just be banging her head against a wall
0:14:42 > 0:14:45because we're not going to be moving, budging.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50'The community is 100% Jewish
0:14:50 > 0:14:55'and promotes education and spiritual growth above all else.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59'The teens will be expected to attend synagogue
0:14:59 > 0:15:01'and observe the Sabbath.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05'For now, Gemma has only one thing on her mind.'
0:15:20 > 0:15:22KNOCKS ON DOOR
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Who is it?
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Huh?
0:15:27 > 0:15:29BEEP
0:15:30 > 0:15:32KNOCKS ON DOOR
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Yeah, hang on.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40- < Please open the door.- Yeah.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48- Um... You're smoking.- No, I'm not.
0:15:48 > 0:15:53Two of my kids have asthma and it's a health hazard for them
0:15:53 > 0:15:56to have any smoke anywhere in the house.
0:15:56 > 0:16:01Can I go outside for one last cigarette, one last cigarette please?
0:16:01 > 0:16:07Our standing in the community has to do with how my family's perceived.
0:16:07 > 0:16:12My own children are a reflection of who their parents are.
0:16:12 > 0:16:18Now you've come into our home as a member of our family this week.
0:16:18 > 0:16:24Our family will be... will be watched carefully.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25OK?
0:16:28 > 0:16:30She's just boring me.
0:16:30 > 0:16:34I didn't even listen to the last however long she was babbling on.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37It's the same stuff over and over.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40- Hi, Jack.- Hey.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Yeah, I wanted to speak to you...
0:16:43 > 0:16:48'Jack too, has a problem with the Shakeds' regard for their neighbours.'
0:16:48 > 0:16:52To be honest, I don't care what the community think of me.
0:16:52 > 0:16:57I don't see why I should have to do stuff to make them happy.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01It's not so much that we care what you think.
0:17:01 > 0:17:05It's what the standard requirements are so you have to go by it.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09I think you could benefit from us being here.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13Giving us a little bit of leeway, you could benefit from it.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17It's the opposite. You're trying to learn something from us.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20TZIPPI: You should think about it.
0:17:20 > 0:17:24Think about the position that you would be putting us in,
0:17:24 > 0:17:27in terms of the community.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38'The Shakeds moved to Israel five years ago.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42'Their rules aren't open to interpretation.'
0:17:42 > 0:17:47I'm afraid that that's not going to work cos it is quite see-through.
0:17:49 > 0:17:54So we're going to have to try again. Do you have another option?
0:18:02 > 0:18:04Disappointing.
0:18:05 > 0:18:10It's see-through, fair enough, but I have a top on underneath.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14But I can still see... The whole shirt is see-through.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18I think you're being totally unreasonable.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20It's the community norm,
0:18:20 > 0:18:24so I think you're being unreasonable being disrespectful.
0:18:24 > 0:18:28The community norm? You sound like a herd of sheep.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31You follow one another.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Until you watch your mouth,
0:18:33 > 0:18:37it's such a poor reflection on not just yourself
0:18:37 > 0:18:41- but how your parents... - Don't bring my parents into this!
0:18:41 > 0:18:46Are you trying to say my parents brought me up badly...?
0:18:46 > 0:18:50You represent who you've come from. I don't know your parents...
0:18:50 > 0:18:55Don't BLEEP stand there BLEEP talking about my parents!
0:18:55 > 0:18:57You need to shut up.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01You have not been brought up to be respectful of adults.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05- Shut up and listen to me. - Get upstairs. No, BLEEP!
0:19:05 > 0:19:08- Get upstairs.- BLEEP you! - You're in my home.
0:19:08 > 0:19:13Until you apologise about slagging off my parents I'm not going.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15- Go up to your room.- No.
0:19:15 > 0:19:20I'm going to have to ask you, if you don't comply, you're out.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23You are out.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Let's cut it out. This is not helping.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28This is going at a tangent.
0:19:28 > 0:19:34If you go inside here, I will call the community authorities and you will be...
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Do not leave like this.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43I'm not going after her.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48'Gemma's been in Israel for less than four hours.'
0:19:48 > 0:19:51She's lucky I didn't slap her.
0:19:51 > 0:19:56Gemma, I was talking to you and you picked up and ran.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58I didn't appreciate that.
0:19:58 > 0:20:05- Let me ask you something.- No. I'm not going to talk until your wife apologises to me.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08- She's not going to apologise. - Then I'm through talking.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12You came to this country for a reason. Why did you come?
0:20:14 > 0:20:17What's your goal? Why did you come?
0:20:21 > 0:20:24I want to help you out in some way.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27You came, I thought, to get some help,
0:20:27 > 0:20:31to work on yourself in some manner, to go back,
0:20:31 > 0:20:33maybe try to take a different path.
0:20:33 > 0:20:38And the way I feel dealing with you is that we're hitting heads.
0:20:38 > 0:20:43- Is this the first time you've raised your voice to anybody?- No.
0:20:43 > 0:20:48So maybe it's not us. Maybe there's something in you that's raging.
0:20:48 > 0:20:53That's the reason. It may have nothing to do with us whatsoever.
0:20:54 > 0:20:59Maybe it's something in your past that's bringing this out.
0:20:59 > 0:21:05'The Shaked children have never seen anyone behave like Gemma.'
0:21:05 > 0:21:09I was shocked at how she cursed at my parents. That was very uncool.
0:21:09 > 0:21:16She met my parents this afternoon and already started cursing at them. We don't do that around here.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20There's always a different way to handle a situation
0:21:20 > 0:21:22than just erupting like that.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29What upset me most about Gemma's outburst was that...
0:21:29 > 0:21:33she yelled these profanities in front of my children.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35That's not what they're accustomed to.
0:21:35 > 0:21:41It's not acceptable in my house, certainly not in front of my children.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44I brought you some mineral water.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47'The Jewish principle of forgiveness
0:21:47 > 0:21:51'means feeling empathy for the troubles of others.
0:21:51 > 0:21:56'To help Gemma back down, Tzippi is prepared to make the first move.'
0:21:56 > 0:22:00I propose, let's start over. Let's start from scratch.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03How do you feel about that?
0:22:03 > 0:22:06Would it be all right to give you a hug?
0:22:11 > 0:22:14I need to give you a hug.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18I'm so sorry that you're going through such a hard time.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20I really am.
0:22:22 > 0:22:27I wish I can make it easier for you in some way. I really do.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33'I didn't want to speak cos I'd have just got angry.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37'I'm fed up of making a dick out of myself.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39'I come across as a bitch.'
0:22:39 > 0:22:43I wish I could be able to talk about it calmly.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07'It's the teens' first morning in Israel.'
0:23:07 > 0:23:14I'm going to try not to argue today but...if she says something I agree with.
0:23:14 > 0:23:19I'm not going to sit there and nod my head and pretend everything's OK.
0:23:19 > 0:23:24'Today, the family want Jack and Gemma to experience
0:23:24 > 0:23:28'an integral part of Israeli tradition.'
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Here are some more clothes.
0:23:30 > 0:23:37A lot of people, especially teenage kids, work on the kibbutz when they need you.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41They take their kids out of school and put them on the farm.
0:23:41 > 0:23:47'The kibbutz is a society established on the principle of social equality.
0:23:47 > 0:23:52'Every member is expected to work together for the good of all.'
0:23:52 > 0:23:55The land that we live on is kibbutz land,
0:23:55 > 0:23:58which they gave up to start this community.
0:23:58 > 0:24:02There's a very strong relationship with the kibbutz.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04We believe also for our kids
0:24:04 > 0:24:08it's important to learn the importance of labour.
0:24:08 > 0:24:12'Right from the off, Gemma is putting herself first,
0:24:12 > 0:24:16'and is entirely uninterested in the common good.'
0:24:16 > 0:24:18DAVID: Pull down the shirt. Gemma!
0:24:18 > 0:24:22- I'm hot. - I got more than one layer, too.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25Everybody's got another shirt on.
0:24:27 > 0:24:32Gemma, until you do, you can stay here. Jack, we're going.
0:24:34 > 0:24:40'It's not being stubborn. It's a simple right to wear what I want.'
0:24:40 > 0:24:44If I'm hot, I'm hot. There's not much I can do about that.
0:24:46 > 0:24:50'Today, less than 5% of Israelis live on a kibbutz.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54'Those that do, embody a traditional Jewish work ethic.'
0:24:54 > 0:24:58Jack, I'd like you to meet Tahl. Tahl, this is Jack.
0:24:58 > 0:25:03Tahl's going to be helping with the work on the kibbutz.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08It stinks! I don't know if I'll be able to do it.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12Just tell yourself you will do it. Don't leave room for doubt.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Oh, man!
0:25:18 > 0:25:21'While Jack starts work on the farm,
0:25:21 > 0:25:24'Gemma keeps working on her tan.'
0:25:24 > 0:25:26I wish Gemma was here.
0:25:26 > 0:25:31It wouldn't take as long - and I really need a fag!
0:25:31 > 0:25:37I don't think Gemma feels any guilt that Jack is carrying her load.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40I don't think it bothers her.
0:25:40 > 0:25:45Back home, she could use her looks. She's got a strong personality.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49She can use the two of them together to get what she wants.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52Whatever rule might exist, she can manipulate.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56'Bored of seeing Gemma waste everyone's time,
0:25:56 > 0:26:00'Tahl decides that hard work is more important than dress code.'
0:26:00 > 0:26:04- Where you come from in England? - Um... Near London.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10- So, you are city girl?- Not really. - Not really?
0:26:10 > 0:26:15So, this is going to be your area! With the cows and the trees!
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Come, lady.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21He came and got me.
0:26:21 > 0:26:25"Gemma! Come!" So I came. And he was funny.
0:26:30 > 0:26:36'Much to Gemma's surprise, it turns out work can be fun.'
0:26:39 > 0:26:43I absolutely loved working in the farm with the cows.
0:26:43 > 0:26:47I enjoy getting stuck into things.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54- Hiya.- Hi, Jack.
0:26:54 > 0:26:59'For the Shakeds, praise is as important as punishment, if it's deserved.'
0:26:59 > 0:27:02- How did it go today?- Good.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04I actually quite enjoyed it.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07- What about you?- I loved it.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11I got a phone call from Tahl and I want you guys to know
0:27:11 > 0:27:14that he said the kibbutz cow barn has never,
0:27:14 > 0:27:18in the history of the kibbutz, been as clean.
0:27:18 > 0:27:22He was so thrilled with your work...
0:27:22 > 0:27:26'The day's experiences have moved Gemma.'
0:27:26 > 0:27:30When I came home, I changed my outfit
0:27:30 > 0:27:33into something I considered...
0:27:33 > 0:27:37well, the community would consider more respectable.
0:27:37 > 0:27:42This is a consequence of something that Tzippi said to me.
0:27:42 > 0:27:46"See it through their lenses" were the words she used.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48'Pleased with the progress,
0:27:48 > 0:27:55'the Shakeds hope that Jack and Gemma are becoming more receptive to their way of life.
0:27:55 > 0:28:00'Gemma has asked to meet neighbours that make up the community,
0:28:00 > 0:28:05'to ask her own questions about the Jewish way of life.'
0:28:05 > 0:28:09I know that you cover your head when you're married.
0:28:09 > 0:28:14- How come you don't cover your head? - WOMAN: Can you keep a secret?
0:28:17 > 0:28:21Can you keep another secret? This is a wig.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24- < So is this.- Really?- Yeah.
0:28:24 > 0:28:26Looks good. >
0:28:26 > 0:28:29- Is it like your natural hair?- Yeah.
0:28:29 > 0:28:33- Nothing...? - Does it look like my natural hair?
0:28:34 > 0:28:37Well, that's a real secret!
0:28:37 > 0:28:40< Like asking a woman her weight!
0:28:40 > 0:28:44The purpose of the wig is to remind us that we're married.
0:28:44 > 0:28:48It's a constant reminder that we have something special
0:28:48 > 0:28:51that only our husbands share.
0:28:51 > 0:28:56- What do you look for in a girl? - You're looking for an inner person.
0:28:56 > 0:29:00Which might not be reflected in the outer person.
0:29:00 > 0:29:04Everyone has something inside that it's impossible to show outside.
0:29:04 > 0:29:12What do you think about the average age for a girl in England to lose her virginity is about 15?
0:29:12 > 0:29:15Sex is for grown-ups. I'm sorry.
0:29:15 > 0:29:19I am going to totally disagree with you.
0:29:19 > 0:29:24I'm not going to lie to you. I had sex with my first love.
0:29:24 > 0:29:28WOMAN: Where is he now? I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.
0:29:28 > 0:29:30That was kind of rude!
0:29:30 > 0:29:32I really am sorry.
0:29:32 > 0:29:39Um... For me, it was one of the most amazing nights of my life.
0:29:39 > 0:29:43He made it so special for me. We're still really good friends.
0:29:43 > 0:29:50I wouldn't have asked for anyone better to have lost my virginity to.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52BOY: What about your husband?
0:29:52 > 0:29:55No, because at the time,
0:29:55 > 0:30:00that's who I wanted to be with, that's who I loved.
0:30:00 > 0:30:03He was my best friend. That's who I cared about.
0:30:03 > 0:30:06For me, it couldn't have been more perfect.
0:30:06 > 0:30:11You're lucky that you had a positive experience.
0:30:11 > 0:30:17'I'm proud of myself that I didn't lose my temper when one of the women offended me.'
0:30:17 > 0:30:22I just told her that I found it quite rude, and that was that.
0:30:22 > 0:30:25I was really proud of myself.
0:30:25 > 0:30:28I can't stand the whole community thing.
0:30:28 > 0:30:33I can't do whatever outside, because "the community don't like it".
0:30:33 > 0:30:36"It's not what we do in the community."
0:30:36 > 0:30:40- BEEP- the community. If I want to stand out, I'll stand out.
0:30:40 > 0:30:43It doesn't matter what I dress.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45I'm not part of the community.
0:30:45 > 0:30:49I don't see why I should follow their rules.
0:30:58 > 0:31:03'The Shakeds have taken Jack and Gemma to classes at the synagogue,
0:31:03 > 0:31:08'to continue discussions about relationships between the sexes.'
0:31:08 > 0:31:12What happens when a beautiful teenage girl meets a man
0:31:12 > 0:31:15and she's dressed in a string bikini?
0:31:15 > 0:31:17That's all he can see.
0:31:17 > 0:31:22He's not interested in anything else other than her physical being.
0:31:22 > 0:31:25He's not seeing who she really is.
0:31:25 > 0:31:31What happens if another boy, then again another boy and another boy,
0:31:31 > 0:31:34then you end up getting married after this?
0:31:34 > 0:31:37What happens to your partner?
0:31:37 > 0:31:42You're comparing between ones you've had before and a new one.
0:31:42 > 0:31:47Do you not think comparisons can make you appreciate something more?
0:31:47 > 0:31:51- It depends if he lives up to the comparisons.- Exactly.
0:31:51 > 0:31:57If he does live up to the comparisons, even beats them, he's better than the others.
0:31:57 > 0:32:02Do you not think that increases your love for him, makes it stronger?
0:32:02 > 0:32:07- I guess...- Makes it more special because you haven't found it before.
0:32:07 > 0:32:10What if he's a really nice person,
0:32:10 > 0:32:16but in the physical stuff, he isn't good, does that make him less special?
0:32:16 > 0:32:21'I didn't necessarily agree with what was said in the lesson,
0:32:21 > 0:32:24'but I can see the logic in it.'
0:32:24 > 0:32:26I haven't been brought up like that.
0:32:26 > 0:32:31If my family were strong on religion, I guess I would be.
0:32:31 > 0:32:35I think it's amazing how where you live
0:32:35 > 0:32:38totally defines the kind of person you're going to be.
0:32:38 > 0:32:43If they grew up where I did, they're not going to be like that.
0:32:43 > 0:32:47They'd probably all have had sex, got drunk every weekend.
0:32:47 > 0:32:50'Gemma might be making progress,
0:32:50 > 0:32:53'but for Jack, the lesson touches a raw nerve.'
0:32:53 > 0:32:57At a point in life, all of us feel a need, somewhere deep down,
0:32:57 > 0:33:01to bond with another person in a deep way,
0:33:01 > 0:33:04and to embark upon a journey to share life.
0:33:04 > 0:33:09You know, boy meets a girl and he starts to learn more about her.
0:33:09 > 0:33:13He gets very excited at what he starts to discover.
0:33:13 > 0:33:17What she looks like, where she's from.
0:33:17 > 0:33:19Those are all superficial things.
0:33:19 > 0:33:23Often, before we get to know the real person, we jump in
0:33:23 > 0:33:27to a very physically intimate relationship.
0:33:27 > 0:33:31'The whole lesson was directed at heterosexual couples.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33'Fair enough, but...'
0:33:33 > 0:33:36One in ten people are gay.
0:33:36 > 0:33:41'There were nine or ten other guys there.'
0:33:41 > 0:33:47One of them has to be gay, which means someone must have felt quite awkward
0:33:47 > 0:33:50being told, "When you find a woman."
0:33:50 > 0:33:52I think it's quite bad, actually.
0:33:52 > 0:33:57'Back home, Jack's family regularly tease him about his sexuality.
0:33:57 > 0:34:00'Outside, the lads' innocent banter
0:34:00 > 0:34:03'is making for uncomfortable conversation.'
0:34:03 > 0:34:08- Do you want to marry someone gothic? - I don't want to marry anyone.
0:34:08 > 0:34:11- How come?- It's never interested me.
0:34:11 > 0:34:16Don't you think it's good to have someone with you,
0:34:16 > 0:34:18always to care about you?
0:34:18 > 0:34:21I take care of myself. I don't need anyone.
0:34:21 > 0:34:23- < Don't you ever feel lonely?- No.
0:34:23 > 0:34:27- It's a gothic thing?- No. Personally, I don't want to get married.
0:34:27 > 0:34:34'Jack's problems at home have made admitting his sexuality in public difficult.'
0:34:34 > 0:34:36It's not something I shout about.
0:34:36 > 0:34:39I don't think it's such a big deal.
0:34:39 > 0:34:44I'm not embarrassed by it. If it comes up, I'll tell people.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46I'm not embarrassed by it at all.
0:34:50 > 0:34:54'Tzippi wants to introduce Jack and Gemma
0:34:54 > 0:34:58'to the most inspiring couple she knows.
0:35:01 > 0:35:07'Sara and Ruben van der Roest are survivors of the Nazi holocaust.
0:35:07 > 0:35:11'Tzippi hopes that hearing about their experiences
0:35:11 > 0:35:16'might help the teens look at their selfish behaviour in a new light.'
0:35:16 > 0:35:21Gemma and Jack have been working all week on a few issues.
0:35:21 > 0:35:23< And perhaps,
0:35:23 > 0:35:26more than so many people in this world,
0:35:26 > 0:35:32you have every reason to feel angry and depressed.
0:35:32 > 0:35:37I felt it would be beneficial for Gemma and Jack to get to know you.
0:35:37 > 0:35:42Do you have a sense of how many Jews perished during the holocaust?
0:35:42 > 0:35:45- I actually don't know. - 100,000?- 100,000.
0:35:45 > 0:35:50Six million people were murdered.
0:35:50 > 0:35:55RUBEN: I'll show you a picture, I'll show you just a picture,
0:35:55 > 0:35:58which might be a little bit more brings it home.
0:35:58 > 0:36:02I was deported to a concentration camp in Bergen Belsen.
0:36:02 > 0:36:05This is me.
0:36:05 > 0:36:10This is nearly the only one who is with you today.
0:36:10 > 0:36:13All of them were murdered. All of them, one by one.
0:36:13 > 0:36:17The whole class.
0:36:17 > 0:36:20I saw my father more or less murdered
0:36:20 > 0:36:26by just...beating.
0:36:26 > 0:36:29He was beaten and er...
0:36:29 > 0:36:32How do you call...
0:36:32 > 0:36:34< Hard labour. Yeah, hard labour!
0:36:34 > 0:36:37This is a real understatement!
0:36:37 > 0:36:42The Germans just decided, by a flick of a switch.
0:36:42 > 0:36:45You go to the right or to the left.
0:36:45 > 0:36:48To the right means to the gas chambers.
0:36:48 > 0:36:51To the left means unbelievable hard labour,
0:36:51 > 0:36:55which very few could live through.
0:36:55 > 0:37:00Having lost so much, why didn't you give in to anger and depression?
0:37:00 > 0:37:03I think the best way was then
0:37:03 > 0:37:09just to live on and to manage with the things you still had.
0:37:09 > 0:37:12You only had one thing to think about -
0:37:12 > 0:37:17how to stay living till the next day.
0:37:17 > 0:37:20The next day, the same thing again.
0:37:20 > 0:37:23You have to choose what way you are going.
0:37:23 > 0:37:25You choose.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27My sister and me,
0:37:27 > 0:37:29we were always quarrelling,
0:37:29 > 0:37:33always angry, one with each other.
0:37:33 > 0:37:39It's a pity that we had to live through a disaster.
0:37:39 > 0:37:43After the war, we never quarrelled again.
0:37:43 > 0:37:47So me, it teaches, that you don't need to quarrel.
0:37:47 > 0:37:49You don't need to be angry.
0:37:49 > 0:37:54And please, don't let there have to be a disaster like this
0:37:54 > 0:37:56to teach you this lesson.
0:38:01 > 0:38:04'It was so touching.'
0:38:07 > 0:38:12You can't comprehend what they went through. It's just unbelievable.
0:38:12 > 0:38:18My mum, we could have an argument, she could go out in the car and not come back.
0:38:18 > 0:38:22Is the last thing you want to say to them to be a big row?
0:38:22 > 0:38:27It definitely made me think about my relationship with my mum.
0:38:27 > 0:38:32In a way, it's selfish to live your life in anger constantly.
0:38:32 > 0:38:35You should appreciate what you have got, like they said.
0:38:35 > 0:38:42I feel totally selfish, the fact that I've been angry at such small things.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54'The teens are halfway through their time in Israel.
0:38:54 > 0:39:01'More farm work gives David the opportunity to find out more about Jack.'
0:39:01 > 0:39:05There's a lot about me you know nothing about.
0:39:05 > 0:39:09When I was growing up, I used to surf all the time. I loved it.
0:39:09 > 0:39:16I noticed a difference between surfing and immersing yourself in the culture of surfing.
0:39:16 > 0:39:20The culture would include hanging out on the beach all day long.
0:39:20 > 0:39:25Drinking a bit, smoking a bit. I said, "That's like vegetating."
0:39:25 > 0:39:29I couldn't see my life vegetating, going nowhere.
0:39:29 > 0:39:34When I talk to you about "goth" it seems that you like the music,
0:39:34 > 0:39:37but from your clothes and piercings,
0:39:37 > 0:39:40you've immersed yourself in the culture.
0:39:40 > 0:39:45Well, OK, I'm definitely not the most hardcore goth there is.
0:39:45 > 0:39:48You see people that are much worse than me.
0:39:48 > 0:39:53The impression I have is that a lot of people who are attracted to it
0:39:53 > 0:39:57also tend to be unhappy with their life.
0:39:57 > 0:40:00I don't know exactly what makes me unhappy.
0:40:00 > 0:40:03I just quarrel all the time.
0:40:03 > 0:40:08I'll have really big down moods and nothing anyone or myself can do
0:40:08 > 0:40:13can bring me back up, I just have to get through it.
0:40:13 > 0:40:18- So what you've got to do in life, you've got to do by yourself?- Yeah.
0:40:18 > 0:40:22- I would say so.- Do you feel like you can't trust people?
0:40:22 > 0:40:24You only rely on yourself?
0:40:24 > 0:40:26It's not... I don't know.
0:40:26 > 0:40:30I don't...know if I can trust people or not.
0:40:30 > 0:40:34I'd much rather get on with stuff myself.
0:40:34 > 0:40:40If you're having problems, it's times like that we have to learn to open up,
0:40:40 > 0:40:46- go to the people you know who love you and can help you out.- Yeah.
0:40:46 > 0:40:48'David's words of wisdom
0:40:48 > 0:40:53'have set Jack to thinking about his relationship with his parents.'
0:40:53 > 0:40:58They say they don't care about my sexuality and I should tell them.
0:40:58 > 0:41:03But why do they keep on asking me and constantly take the piss?
0:41:03 > 0:41:06- KNOCK KNOCK - Yeah.
0:41:06 > 0:41:09Jack, I got a letter for you from your mother.
0:41:09 > 0:41:14- Read it in private, but if you want to discuss it, I'm here for you.- OK.
0:41:14 > 0:41:16Cheers.
0:41:19 > 0:41:23"Jack, I have never told you enough that I love you
0:41:23 > 0:41:26"and that I am very proud that you are my son.
0:41:26 > 0:41:29"What you don't know is that I lay in bed worrying about you.
0:41:29 > 0:41:33"Wherever you go in life, I will always be here for you.
0:41:33 > 0:41:37"I want, as any mum does, the best for her children.
0:41:37 > 0:41:42"It does not matter to us whether you are straight, gay or bi-sexual.
0:41:42 > 0:41:47"We love you and always will. Stay safe, Jack. All my love, Mum."
0:41:47 > 0:41:50The main reason why I go out and do all the...
0:41:50 > 0:41:54I don't intentionally do all the stuff she doesn't like,
0:41:54 > 0:41:58go out with my friends rather than see her and stuff.
0:41:58 > 0:42:03But the reason I do go out is I have such a hard time at home
0:42:03 > 0:42:05because of people there.
0:42:05 > 0:42:10I don't think it's down to me to change. It's up to them as well.
0:42:12 > 0:42:15Yeah, I reckon if I didn't get this letter,
0:42:15 > 0:42:19a lot of the stuff in it, I wouldn't have known.
0:42:19 > 0:42:24So I hope we do get a better relationship out of it.
0:42:28 > 0:42:30'With attention lavished on Jack,
0:42:30 > 0:42:35'Gemma has reverted to her couldn't-care-less attitude."
0:42:44 > 0:42:48- Why?- Why what? - Why have you done that?
0:42:48 > 0:42:50I'm going to get a tan.
0:42:54 > 0:42:57SINGS
0:42:57 > 0:42:59'Tzippi can't believe her eyes.'
0:42:59 > 0:43:02She is humiliating us.
0:43:02 > 0:43:04She's showing complete disrespect
0:43:04 > 0:43:08and, of course, once again, she's being her own worst enemy.
0:43:08 > 0:43:13# ..so long it's not true! #
0:43:13 > 0:43:17'Gemma's utter contempt for the Shakeds' family values
0:43:17 > 0:43:21'has pushed Tzippi to the edge of her tolerance.'
0:43:21 > 0:43:27I'm hurt that you did this in front of the entire neighbourhood,
0:43:27 > 0:43:31in front of anybody that could possibly see you.
0:43:31 > 0:43:38I feel that...it's a lack of trust.
0:43:38 > 0:43:40And a lack of respect.
0:43:40 > 0:43:43I had commended you
0:43:43 > 0:43:49for rising above some of your desires of wearing immodest clothing
0:43:49 > 0:43:54showing respect for everyone that you've met, dressing accordingly.
0:43:54 > 0:43:59I'm not really sure why you did this but I have to say that, um...
0:44:00 > 0:44:03..it's really over for us.
0:44:03 > 0:44:08There's nothing left for me to say other than I wish you well.
0:44:13 > 0:44:16'Like so many before her,
0:44:16 > 0:44:19'her patience with Gemma has reached its limit.'
0:44:19 > 0:44:22CIONA: Is she going? TZIPPI: Yeah.
0:44:22 > 0:44:30She knows how we feel about respect and showing a lack of respect.
0:44:35 > 0:44:39Making her leave is the only decision we have.
0:44:39 > 0:44:44If she chooses to behave this way in this community, she cannot stay.
0:44:46 > 0:44:50'Being asked to leave is an all too familiar ending for Gemma.'
0:44:50 > 0:44:54Driving away from school when I got expelled.
0:44:54 > 0:44:58Driving away from college, my home when I got asked to leave.
0:44:59 > 0:45:04You would have thought that I learned my lesson the first time.
0:45:08 > 0:45:10That's my life story.
0:45:10 > 0:45:13One step forward, two steps back.
0:45:25 > 0:45:28'In the spirit of forgiveness,
0:45:28 > 0:45:32'David and Tzippi have decided to let Gemma return,
0:45:32 > 0:45:37'but they want her to use this opportunity to teach her a lesson.'
0:45:37 > 0:45:40She has to contemplate what she did,
0:45:40 > 0:45:45perhaps acknowledge that she was wrong, some form of apology,
0:45:45 > 0:45:49tell us that she's sorry and it's not going to happen again.
0:45:51 > 0:45:55'At her hotel in Tel Aviv, Gemma has spent the night
0:45:55 > 0:45:59'wrestling with her own stubbornness.
0:45:59 > 0:46:04'David and Tzippi want Gemma to find the courage to apologise.
0:46:04 > 0:46:09'They hope a letter from home will encourage her to do the right thing.'
0:46:09 > 0:46:15"Hopefully, time away has given you chance to reflect on how you behave, your lack of respect for both of us.
0:46:15 > 0:46:20"Neither of us deserve to be spoken to like you speak to us.
0:46:20 > 0:46:25"At times, we have been so proud of you. At Granddad's funeral...
0:46:28 > 0:46:33"..when you wrote such a heartful poem. You read it with such...
0:46:33 > 0:46:38"poise and maturity, you had the whole congregation in tears.
0:46:38 > 0:46:43"But those words you read don't seem to hold much to you any more.
0:46:43 > 0:46:47"You promised to make Granddad proud of you.
0:46:48 > 0:46:53"Well, we don't think you can say you have kept that promise.
0:46:56 > 0:46:59"We love you very much, Gemma.
0:46:59 > 0:47:02"You're our little girl and always will be.
0:47:04 > 0:47:07"We just try and do what's best for you."
0:47:09 > 0:47:13What can I say? I totally agree with everything here.
0:47:13 > 0:47:20My behaviour is embarrassing because I'm the product of my mum and dad.
0:47:28 > 0:47:30I really want to go back.
0:47:30 > 0:47:34I know it will involve me saying sorry.
0:47:34 > 0:47:36And...
0:47:37 > 0:47:40..swallowing my pride.
0:47:41 > 0:47:46Um... That's something that I find really hard to do.
0:47:48 > 0:47:50But I'd be so proud of myself.
0:47:50 > 0:47:54It would be a huge step for me if I did do that.
0:48:01 > 0:48:06'It's the agreed meeting time in Jerusalem. The family are gathered.
0:48:06 > 0:48:08'But there's no sign of Gemma.'
0:48:08 > 0:48:13I think that Gemma's at a critical junction here.
0:48:13 > 0:48:16She's either going to throw it all out
0:48:16 > 0:48:22and say, "I've messed up yet again and therefore it's finished."
0:48:22 > 0:48:24Or she's going to say,
0:48:24 > 0:48:28"I've been given one last chance to redeem myself.
0:48:28 > 0:48:30"I'm going to take that chance."
0:49:03 > 0:49:06I'm really sorry I offended you.
0:49:07 > 0:49:09OK.
0:49:11 > 0:49:14- Let's go have lunch. OK?- OK.
0:49:16 > 0:49:19Everyone...
0:49:19 > 0:49:21Gemma's back.
0:49:24 > 0:49:27'I know what enormous strength it took'
0:49:27 > 0:49:29for Gemma to come to meet
0:49:29 > 0:49:34and to apologise, possibly for the first time in her life,
0:49:34 > 0:49:39that what she did was wrong and how she realised that she had hurt us.
0:49:39 > 0:49:45She was able to muster up not only the courage to do this,
0:49:45 > 0:49:49also to overcome her anxieties, her fears of appearing weak.
0:49:49 > 0:49:54One day, if not today, she'll realise that her so-called weakness
0:49:54 > 0:49:57is actually, in fact, her strength.
0:49:57 > 0:50:00DAVID: Good to have you back.
0:50:00 > 0:50:03TZIPPI: We're all glad to have you back.
0:50:07 > 0:50:12'Saying sorry is admitting you were wrong and to swallow my pride.'
0:50:12 > 0:50:17That is so hard to do, but I feel really good after I've done it.
0:50:17 > 0:50:20Hopefully, I can do more in the future.
0:50:23 > 0:50:28'At the Western Wall, one of the world's most holy sites,
0:50:28 > 0:50:33'Gemma gets to enjoy the benefits of simply saying sorry.'
0:50:36 > 0:50:39That is absolutely amazing.
0:50:45 > 0:50:50According to Jewish tradition, this is where God's presence is greatest.
0:50:50 > 0:50:53Everybody who comes puts notes in the wall.
0:50:53 > 0:50:57I'd like you to think about what you want for yourself,
0:50:57 > 0:51:00your loved ones, for the world at large.
0:51:00 > 0:51:06- Note it down and later we're going to go and put it in the wall.- OK.
0:51:12 > 0:51:15I wrote that I hope today's a new beginning.
0:51:15 > 0:51:18I said thank you for this experience.
0:51:18 > 0:51:20Prayed for my granddad.
0:51:22 > 0:51:24And for my parents.
0:51:25 > 0:51:29I pray that I hope one day I'll make them proud.
0:51:32 > 0:51:36I just wrote about improving the relationship with my mother
0:51:36 > 0:51:39and in general, my entire family.
0:51:39 > 0:51:41To not argue with them as much.
0:51:41 > 0:51:47You know, about finishing college and generally making my life better.
0:51:58 > 0:52:02Jack, our time together is approaching an end.
0:52:02 > 0:52:05And I prayed for you
0:52:05 > 0:52:07that you find happiness.
0:52:07 > 0:52:12A big element of happiness is being happy with who you are.
0:52:12 > 0:52:17- Find the strength to be yourself and follow it.- OK.
0:52:19 > 0:52:24'It's the end of the teens' time in Israel.'
0:52:24 > 0:52:29- Bye-bye.- I'll see you later. - See you soon.
0:52:29 > 0:52:33TZIPPI: 'I learned an enormous amount from both the kids.
0:52:33 > 0:52:36'Their determination to try again.'
0:52:36 > 0:52:39I'll definitely stay in contact.
0:52:39 > 0:52:45At that age, to pick yourself up, to move to a foreign community,
0:52:45 > 0:52:49'being under the glare of so many people all the time.
0:52:49 > 0:52:52'It's not easy at all.'
0:52:52 > 0:52:56They kept it together for most the time, and improved.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58- VOICE BREAKING: - Thanks for everything.
0:52:58 > 0:53:02'I'm going to try... I am going to improve things'
0:53:02 > 0:53:04with my family.
0:53:04 > 0:53:08'I'm going to stop being on the defensive so much.'
0:53:08 > 0:53:12I need to realise what they do, they think it's the best for me.
0:53:12 > 0:53:17Seeing the way David and Tzippi act, and their kids act towards them,
0:53:17 > 0:53:21they respect their parents a hell of a lot more than I did.
0:53:21 > 0:53:25I want a relationship with my parents like they have.
0:53:25 > 0:53:27All we ask of Jack and Gemma
0:53:27 > 0:53:31is that they don't compare themselves to anyone else,
0:53:31 > 0:53:35they become the best Jack and Gemma they could be.
0:53:35 > 0:53:36Amen.
0:53:49 > 0:53:53- You all right?- Yeah. - Have a good time?- Yeah, really good.
0:53:53 > 0:53:56- I've really missed you. Did you behave?- Yes.
0:53:56 > 0:54:01I realise that I don't respect you as much as I should do.
0:54:03 > 0:54:06Well done. I'm proud of you.
0:54:06 > 0:54:10- And really missed you. - I missed you, too. I did.
0:54:11 > 0:54:16- Good. You still love me, then?- Yes. - Cos you hated me earlier!
0:54:17 > 0:54:20- Do you want your bacon and eggs? - Yes, please!
0:54:23 > 0:54:25'I think Jack has changed.'
0:54:25 > 0:54:29He looks happier. His body language has changed.
0:54:29 > 0:54:34He's stood up more. He's smiling, which he doesn't normally do.
0:54:34 > 0:54:36I think it's done him the world of good.
0:54:52 > 0:54:55DAD: Come on, then. How did it go?
0:54:55 > 0:54:59- It's the best experience I've ever had.- No regrets?- No.
0:54:59 > 0:55:02I don't regret anything I done.
0:55:02 > 0:55:06Even though it was disrespectful to get into my bikini,
0:55:06 > 0:55:10I don't regret it cos I learnt something out of it.
0:55:10 > 0:55:15How much you get out of dressing modestly. I'm definitely going to continue.
0:55:15 > 0:55:22- How do you think it's changed you? - If there was something I wasn't happy about, I wouldn't shout.
0:55:22 > 0:55:26I'd want to sit down and talk about it.
0:55:26 > 0:55:28- Peacefully?- Yeah.
0:55:28 > 0:55:32- You've grown up a bit out there? - Yeah. Definitely.
0:55:32 > 0:55:37'Next time on The World's Strictest Parents, headstrong Debbie...'
0:55:37 > 0:55:41If someone says, "You will do this." I say, "No, I won't."
0:55:41 > 0:55:44I'm at a loss as to where to move forward from here.
0:55:44 > 0:55:47'And wannabe rock star Daniel...'
0:55:47 > 0:55:51He's got to learn about other things in life as well.
0:55:51 > 0:55:53My life's self-indulgent and decadent.
0:55:53 > 0:55:56'..get new parents in Lebanon.'
0:55:56 > 0:56:00- You must obey rules.- Don't! I swear I will kick off!
0:56:00 > 0:56:04If we get caught smoking, we get sent home.
0:56:04 > 0:56:07- You are absolutely wrong.- Yes, I am.
0:56:10 > 0:56:12Find her a cave and live there!
0:56:36 > 0:56:38Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd