0:00:02 > 0:00:06Around the world, many parents raise their kids with strict discipline...
0:00:06 > 0:00:09Do not come back until you have checked your answers.
0:00:09 > 0:00:10..rigid boundaries...
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Drinking, drugs and sex
0:00:12 > 0:00:16are selfish behaviours that destroy lives.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18..and immediate consequences.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20Come on!
0:00:20 > 0:00:24Some people might say that my parents are strict,
0:00:24 > 0:00:26but we'd rather call it love.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32But can traditional parenting change the lives
0:00:32 > 0:00:35of rebellious British teenagers?
0:00:35 > 0:00:38I need more booze! Where's my booze?
0:00:38 > 0:00:41If someone says you will do this, the first thing I say is, "I won't!"
0:00:41 > 0:00:45I get away with murder, really. I can do anything I want.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Big lack of respect for authority.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50I go to bed when I want, wake up when I want.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55I don't care what anyone thinks about me. It's up to me.
0:00:55 > 0:01:00To find out, two teens who've never met before leave their fraught families behind...
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Don't embarrass your family!
0:01:02 > 0:01:04..and head to the far corners of the world
0:01:04 > 0:01:08where they will live according to strict rules imposed by new parents.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12In my house, you're going to do as I tell you to do.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Please let me make it very clear.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16My children won't defy me.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19This is wrecking my head! This is wrecking my head!
0:01:19 > 0:01:22When I punish, I punish really hard.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25I'm sick of being treated like a kid when I'm not!
0:01:25 > 0:01:27- Shut up and listen to me! - Get upstairs!- No!
0:01:27 > 0:01:31You're a child, a minor. In the US you have to do what an adult says.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32They're insane!
0:01:32 > 0:01:38The British people's moral fabric is disintegrating.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47FANFARE
0:01:47 > 0:01:50Ladies and gentlemen, Stretford Pageant Rose Queen
0:01:50 > 0:01:52is Kaya Jade Elliot.
0:01:54 > 0:01:5816-year-old Kaya Elliot loves to be the centre of attention.
0:02:01 > 0:02:06But her smile hides a ferocious temper.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08You can see me there, can't you?
0:02:08 > 0:02:10Why she just can't pin it?
0:02:10 > 0:02:12She does my head in.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16It's a nightmare living with Kaya, especially when she's in a grumpy mood!
0:02:16 > 0:02:18I've got a horrendous temper.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21Scream, shout, growl at whoever, throw things!
0:02:21 > 0:02:25Kaya's approach to authority?
0:02:25 > 0:02:27She doesn't like any source of authority.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30To me, if I want to do something, I'll do it.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33If I don't wanna do it, there's no chance of me doing it.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36Kaya's anger has completely disrupted her education.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40'Kaya got thrown out of three schools.'
0:02:40 > 0:02:43The second primary school she went to, she got kicked out.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Her first secondary school she got kicked out of
0:02:46 > 0:02:50and the third one, the one she's at now, she's just been kicked out of.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52I don't like school. I never have done.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55I'd just disrupt the class because I was bored
0:02:55 > 0:02:57and the attention wasn't around me.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01The feeling we got when we were told she was being expelled
0:03:01 > 0:03:04it was like someone had hit me in the stomach and I was winded.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07It's just a gut, a proper gut feeling.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12'My dad, I completely just ignore everything he tells me to do.'
0:03:12 > 0:03:15My relationship with my mum? Up and down, really.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19I get along with her sometimes but sometimes she doesn't half peck my head!
0:03:19 > 0:03:21You're gonna fall on your arse, Kaya.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Told ya!
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Things are so bad at home,
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Kaya's parents are on the verge of throwing her out.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31I don't think Kaya's aware of the effects her behaviour's had on us.
0:03:31 > 0:03:36When I've got upset, she'll say, "Why are you upset?" I look at her
0:03:36 > 0:03:38and I just can't believe that she's saying that.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41I can't believe she wouldn't understand.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45It's my head, my life, my brain. I do what I want.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Disappointed, let-down and upset, I suppose.
0:03:48 > 0:03:53As a parent. Mainly cos it makes me feel like I've failed.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00'You always come back to a tidy house and stuff like that.'
0:04:00 > 0:04:04I never sit there and you've come back to piles of rubbish.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07So you think it's OK to get up at 11 or 12 o'clock?
0:04:07 > 0:04:10In Kent, 17-year-old Jay Birch
0:04:10 > 0:04:12is going nowhere fast.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16Your easy option is to lay around in bed, get up just before I come home,
0:04:16 > 0:04:20get the housework done, get some money and bugger off into town until ten o'clock.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24- What life is that? What have you achieved that day?- I've had a laugh.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28The things that piss me off about Jay
0:04:28 > 0:04:31are his laziness, more than anything in the world.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33It is his laziness.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37'We have asked him to get a job.
0:04:37 > 0:04:41'But he comes back at us with different excuses.'
0:04:41 > 0:04:43He thinks there's a money tree
0:04:43 > 0:04:46that my mum goes and picks every day!
0:04:46 > 0:04:49You can't live your life expecting everybody to pay for you
0:04:49 > 0:04:52or scrounge or whatever. You'll never get anywhere.
0:04:52 > 0:04:57With my mum and Steve I can get what I want off either one of them.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00If one of them says no, the other one will say yes.
0:05:00 > 0:05:05Jay passed six GCSEs but has no desire to continue in education.
0:05:05 > 0:05:10He just thinks that he can wing it all the time.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13MUM: He'll wink his eye and smile. "I'm not that bad!"
0:05:13 > 0:05:16One of life's charmers.
0:05:16 > 0:05:20Jay had a difficult childhood. His father left when he was five,
0:05:20 > 0:05:23then last year, tragedy struck his family.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Molly was my niece.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30She died when she was four.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Jay's motivation is non-existent since Molly died.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36He was lazy to begin with anyway,
0:05:36 > 0:05:38but I think it took a turn for the worse.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41I've sat and thought, "Why am I always unlucky?
0:05:41 > 0:05:43"Why do the bad things happen to me?"
0:05:43 > 0:05:47While those around him have united in grief,
0:05:47 > 0:05:50- Jay has stopped trying altogether. - 'He needs a kick up the arse.'
0:05:50 > 0:05:52That's what Jay needs.
0:05:52 > 0:05:57He needs a really big kick up the arse, actually!
0:05:57 > 0:06:00MUM: 'I don't want him to give up.'
0:06:00 > 0:06:03It's almost as if at times he's given up on life.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06He's 17 years old and I don't want that for him.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11To try and get their lives back on track,
0:06:11 > 0:06:16both families are sending their wayward children to live with new parents
0:06:16 > 0:06:17on the other side of the world.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20It's an opportunity for you.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23OK? Come back a better person!
0:06:23 > 0:06:27I hope he's gonna come back a bit more enthusiastic with his life
0:06:27 > 0:06:28and go somewhere with his life.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31STEVE: And maybe eventually get a job.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32That pays!
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Make sure you walk around on the plane.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40She needs to learn about herself more than anything. How she deals with people.
0:06:40 > 0:06:45- How she puts herself across.- I want her to appreciate being at home.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48- Hi, I'm Jay.- Hi, I'm Kaya.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50- I've never been in a plane. - Never? Wow!
0:06:52 > 0:06:56The teens are travelling 4,500 miles to here,
0:06:56 > 0:06:59the town of Kiefer, Oklahoma,
0:06:59 > 0:07:01in the heart of middle America.
0:07:04 > 0:07:09They'll be living under the absolute authority of Shannon and Stacey White.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11He's the town's chief of police.
0:07:11 > 0:07:16I believe that discipline itself is the most important thing for a teenager.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Whether they want to agree with it or not!
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Obedience is demanded. It's not an option.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25You go by our rules or you don't live here.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28The Whites have four adopted children.
0:07:28 > 0:07:3019-year-old Shelby,
0:07:30 > 0:07:3216-year-old Trey,
0:07:32 > 0:07:34ten-year-old Marquis
0:07:34 > 0:07:35and nine-year-old Dorice.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39They also have a daughter of their own, six-year-old Kailey-Mae.
0:07:39 > 0:07:44We started our family by fostering.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46We weren't able to have any children of our own
0:07:46 > 0:07:50so we filled ourselves up with children from the state.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54We've probably fostered between 13 and 20 kids over the years.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59The Whites take an old-fashioned approach to parenting.
0:07:59 > 0:08:03The roles that we take in the house are more of the traditional roles.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07- I'm the boss.- He is definitely the punisher. Um...
0:08:07 > 0:08:11I like to use the threat, "Just wait till Dad gets home."
0:08:11 > 0:08:15Stacey served six years in the Marine Corps before joining the police.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19His career has persuaded him of the power of physical punishment.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23I use a drill structure type of approach.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27I would have to admit that yes, I am extremely tough.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31The scripture, "Spare the rod, spoil the child," has a lot of meaning.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34'It's not all strict.'
0:08:34 > 0:08:37We believe in having a lot of fun with the kids
0:08:37 > 0:08:40and if they mind the rules, we reward them.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45I absolutely believe that we're tougher than most parents.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Parents should be tough because the world's tough.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52If you don't learn it as a child, you won't make it as an adult.
0:08:54 > 0:08:58After a nine-hour flight, Kaya and Jay touch down in Oklahoma,
0:08:58 > 0:09:01one of the most conservative states in America.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03It's just gonna be a free holiday.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05It'll be all right.
0:09:12 > 0:09:16Kiefer was once a rough, tough, oil boom town.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20But today it's a sleepy, family-oriented home
0:09:20 > 0:09:24to just 2,000 law-abiding citizens.
0:09:24 > 0:09:29- Everything's on a bigger scale. - Cos they're all fat bastards.- Yeah.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35Chief White believes his family should set an example to his community.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38He sets his standards very high.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Meeting new people is always a great thing.
0:09:42 > 0:09:43That's the way I look at it.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48- Oh, my God, he's a police officer! - You are BLEEP me!
0:09:48 > 0:09:50'Oh, my God!'
0:09:50 > 0:09:52- JAY:- 'No way!'
0:09:54 > 0:09:57- Hello.- Hi.- Hi, there. Welcome to the White house!
0:09:57 > 0:10:00- Nice to meet you. My name's Jay. - I'm Stacey.- I'm Kaya.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03- Nice to meet you, Kaya. - Nice to meet you.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07- Come in and get comfortable. - Come on in.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Wow! This is lovely.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12The teens will live by the same rules as the White children.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15- The littlest one is Kailey.- Six.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18- Dorice. Trey.- Hi.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21- I'm Shelby.- Shelby.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24- And then Marquis.- Hi.- Hi.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26This is Kailey's room.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28It's gonna be your room.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31I hope you like pink!
0:10:35 > 0:10:38I hate the police. I've not had a good relationship with police.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40They don't like me and I don't like them
0:10:40 > 0:10:43and that's the way it's gonna stay.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46- Jay, that'll be your room.- Yep.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52I've never seen so many rules at all. The second one is gonna be hard.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Third one hard.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Fourth one hard.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Seventh one really hard.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Oh, my God.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13Every child who stays with the Whites gets thoroughly briefed on the rules.
0:11:13 > 0:11:17Kaya and Jay are not exception.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20I want to talk to you guys for a few minutes
0:11:20 > 0:11:23to go over a few things that we feel kinda strongly about.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26As you can already see,
0:11:26 > 0:11:30I'm a police officer. I'm the police chief in this town.
0:11:30 > 0:11:35- And my wife is one of my officers. - I'm also a police officer. - She's also a police officer.
0:11:36 > 0:11:42So we enforce certain rules with the law behind us.
0:11:42 > 0:11:46Rule one. Respect us and our family.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48We'll respect you in return.
0:11:48 > 0:11:52Two, no cursing in the house or in front of the minor children.
0:11:52 > 0:11:58This is the buckle of the Bible belt and cursing in front of a child is actually illegal.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Everybody does their chores on a daily basis.
0:12:02 > 0:12:08If you've got a specific assignment given to you by me or Mrs White
0:12:08 > 0:12:11we expect you to do it without us micro-managing you. OK.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15Smoking and possession of tobacco is illegal in this state.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18For anybody under the age of 18.
0:12:18 > 0:12:22OK. The punishment around here, it ranges.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26On the bottom side of the scale, physical exercises, additional chores.
0:12:26 > 0:12:31To the other side of the scale, where you could wind up in front of our judge.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35- For a crime.- You're serious? - Mm-hmm.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39OK, as the owners of the house,
0:12:39 > 0:12:43we have the right to search bedrooms and common areas
0:12:43 > 0:12:44any time we feel like it.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50- If you have any contraband in your bags...- What does that mean? - Cigarettes.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Alcohol, marijuana...
0:12:52 > 0:12:56- Can we have one last fag?- Huh? - Can we have one last fag?
0:12:56 > 0:12:58We can't have that.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01You're now seen as part of the White family.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04If these people in the town see my kids breaking the law,
0:13:04 > 0:13:05it'll look bad upon me.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08Right now is amnesty time.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10I want you to bring 'em to the table.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24I have five fags
0:13:24 > 0:13:26and I'm gonna be stressed.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Hi, guys. Awesome!
0:13:31 > 0:13:36- You went through that many already? - Since we got off the plane. - I've smoked all mine.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- Huh?- I've smoked all mine. - You've smoked all of 'em?- Yeah.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41There's the matches as well.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43OK, guys.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47I'm gonna give you the second and last amnesty that I'm gonna give you
0:13:47 > 0:13:51to bring anything contraband to the table.
0:14:07 > 0:14:12I hope you don't have any on your person cos I don't want to have to violate you.
0:14:13 > 0:14:17For Kaya and Jay, the Whites' regime will take some getting used to.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21It's a cigarette. I don't see what's wrong with anyone smoking.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23BLEEP, it's my body, it's my decision.
0:14:23 > 0:14:28"And the law states..." Well, at the end of the day I just don't care.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30They're gonna make my life hell,
0:14:30 > 0:14:32I know they are. I'll do it ten times back.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39You've got to feed the fish and make up your bed. OK?
0:14:39 > 0:14:42As fully-fledged members of the family,
0:14:42 > 0:14:45Kaya and Jay are expected to get straight down to work.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Just like everyone else.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51I won't do the breakfast dishes. Everyone can do their own dishes.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53- Cleaning the toilet? - It's just a brush.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55It's still a toilet.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59There is not a chore on there that my six-year-old daughter can't do.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02And hasn't done.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12I can't bother with the mither of getting a physical punishment.
0:15:14 > 0:15:18It's not as bad as Jay. He's got to clean the toilet!
0:15:18 > 0:15:19I didn't touch it.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Looks fine!
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Eughh! That was wet!
0:15:29 > 0:15:35I don't understand how somebody can expect to live in a house and not help out
0:15:35 > 0:15:37with the day-to-day stuff.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Jay!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55When we sweep, we move stuff.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02So I do need you to come back through here and do another sweep.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04And that toilet needs to be cleaned.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10It's Jay's first taste of the all-American work ethic.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19I ain't doing that.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Shannon!
0:16:21 > 0:16:25- Could you show me how to do the toilet again?- Sure. Come on.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29OK. Just take it in here, use the brush and go round it.
0:16:29 > 0:16:33What do I do when you let it down? What do I do with that bit?
0:16:33 > 0:16:36I'm not gonna clean it all. I see what you're doing.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Bollocks.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42'We don't play the games, so they're gonna get caught.'
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Laziness doesn't work.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51For Stacey, duty calls.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54So it's up to Shannon to supervise the day's main chore.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Cleaning out the shed.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58Come on, guys. It's heating up here.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01OK, guys, let me explain to you real quick.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03The reason why we do this yard clear-up day
0:17:03 > 0:17:09is because in the town of Kiefer, if your yards are not clean, you can be given a ticket.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13The police department has to give these tickets out.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16So it's bad if the chief of police has to write himself a ticket.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Let's get that done.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21However you guys wanna get 'em out, that's fine.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23But all work together.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31Kaya quickly finds a reason not to get her hands dirty.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Spider, spider, spider, spider!
0:17:36 > 0:17:38I'm not doing it. There's spiders.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Is it a massive spider or is she making a lot out of nothing?
0:17:41 > 0:17:44- I didn't see anything.- No?
0:17:44 > 0:17:46I'm not going back in there.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51I don't understand why I should clean a shed.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53They get tickets for the land being dirty.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57They should have BLEEP kept it clean in the BLEEP first place.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01- Why are we sitting? - Cos there's spiders.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04There was a massive spider in there.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08Why don't you stand here and let them handle it, if you're making a pile?
0:18:08 > 0:18:11- If it was that bad, instead of sitting?- No.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14- It's not a difficult thing, guys. - It is for us!
0:18:14 > 0:18:16- This isn't England. - I'm not doing it all myself.
0:18:16 > 0:18:20- No...- If you give me a fag. - I can't. That's breaking the law.
0:18:21 > 0:18:26You guys can get it done early when it's cool enough.
0:18:26 > 0:18:31Or you can sit out here on your bum till it's hot. But it still gets done today.
0:18:32 > 0:18:37Hoping for an easier life, Jay reluctantly gets back to work
0:18:37 > 0:18:40but Kaya is standing firm.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42I'm not taking part in it.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46You and I need to have a little talk.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49I don't need a talk. I have a phobia of spiders.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52I'm not going in a place where there's loads of them.
0:18:52 > 0:18:56- I gave you another option. - I can't lift heavy things, though.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00It's not all heavy and I don't expect you to lift heavy stuff they can lift.
0:19:00 > 0:19:04But don't tell me you can't lift that cos my six-year-old could.
0:19:04 > 0:19:08If you don't want to get in there and do this, I'll call Stacey back.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11- He'll stand over you while you do it.- I can't believe you said that.
0:19:11 > 0:19:15- Don't talk to me. - We'll get Stacey up here.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Do that, then!
0:19:17 > 0:19:20She thinks she's got a bigger attitude than Stacey.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23Maybe she needs to get some respect for an adult.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28- I'm doing it cos I don't want to... - You're letting into them, Jay.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31No, I just want an easy ride.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Shannon's called Stacey home, to deal with Kaya.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Here we go. I'm not doing it.
0:19:46 > 0:19:52- What's wrong, Kaya?- I'm not going in when there's spiders. I have a phobia. I'm not touching it.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56Here's the way it works. Everybody else is working.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59If you don't do it, I'm gonna pressure you till you do.
0:19:59 > 0:20:05That's wrong. You shouldn't pressure someone into doing something.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08You have to do things that you don't wanna do cos you have to.
0:20:08 > 0:20:13That's a fact of life. We all do. You think I want to get up and go to work every...
0:20:13 > 0:20:17Give me the respect of looking at me and talking to me.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20I'm looking at you straight and giving you respect.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Life is about doing things we don't wanna do.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27Think I wanna get up every morning and deal with dirt bags every day? No.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29I can't do it.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33- Hey, hey, hey.- What?- You are disrespecting me. I don't like that.
0:20:33 > 0:20:37- I'm not disrespecting you.- You are, cos you're making me...- No.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41- I am trying to teach you values. - I've got mine.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Team work. Values. And you're refusing it.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45SHE GRUMBLES
0:20:49 > 0:20:53I've had enough. I just want to go home and not have this pressure.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56I'm 16. I don't need to learn about all this BLEEP. I'm still a child.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59- I don't need none of this. - Come here.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Before getting tough with teenagers,
0:21:01 > 0:21:04Stacey always tries reasoning with them first.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Let me talk to you.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Can you at least talk?
0:21:08 > 0:21:09OK.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13This is a team effort.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Do you just see you out there by yourself doing it?
0:21:16 > 0:21:18- No.- No.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Do you not see the other siblings out there
0:21:21 > 0:21:24doing even worse jobs than what you were assigned to?
0:21:25 > 0:21:30I'm not getting forced into doing something I don't want to do. It's as simple as that.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33I just don't. I don't do it. It's how I've always been.
0:21:33 > 0:21:38- If I don't wanna do something and I know that, I'm not doing it. - Think you'll succeed doing that?
0:21:38 > 0:21:42I don't know. I don't care. As long as I'm happy that's all that matters.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Simple as.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51DOOR SLAMS
0:21:53 > 0:21:57When reasoning falls on deaf ears, Stacey fights fire with fire.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01- Kaya, come here.- I'm not in the m... I'm not talking.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03- Huh?- I don't want to talk.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05You know what? That's not an option. Come here.
0:22:05 > 0:22:09- It's not an option whether or not I talk?- Talk to me.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13- I don't want to talk.- Well, I do! - Well, I don't!
0:22:13 > 0:22:17- I'm not giving up until you do. - I'm not giving up, either.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19This is America. You don't act that way here.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22- It doesn't...- You agreed to this.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26- OK? You agreed to this. - So either be a quitter or not.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29OK? We don't quit around here.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Make up your mind right now if you're gonna quit.
0:22:31 > 0:22:35- If you are, pack your trash and get out.- I will do.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39- I don't tolerate that crap.- I won't tolerate BLEEP off you, either.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Don't speak to me like that. Go away.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47DOOR SLAMS
0:22:47 > 0:22:51BLEEP a police officer can speak to me like that. I don't think so.
0:23:01 > 0:23:05She just thinks that every time the going gets a bit rough,
0:23:05 > 0:23:07I walk away from it.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09That's not the way life works.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12That girl's got a lot to learn.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15What Kaya doesn't know is that in Oklahoma,
0:23:15 > 0:23:17it's illegal for a minor to run away from home.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23Stacey has called one of his colleagues to bring her back.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Why are they stopping?
0:23:28 > 0:23:32If they're getting out of that car for me, I'll swear.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34- Hi.- I'm leaving.
0:23:36 > 0:23:40- Where are you gonna go? - I don't know, but I'm leaving.
0:23:40 > 0:23:45You're in the United States and we have laws here you need to respect.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47- You're going back to the house. - No, I'm not!
0:23:47 > 0:23:51- Put it this way. I am a person. I have feelings.- I understand.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53- I'm not going back. - Let's start this way, OK?
0:23:53 > 0:23:57You're gonna see a different side of me. Get in the car or I'll make you get in.
0:23:58 > 0:24:02- I'm not doing it.- I'm being serious.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06- Why the BLEEP do you want me to get in the car?- There's no debate. You need to cool off.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08I'm not gonna cool off.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11You're taking the piss, man.
0:24:26 > 0:24:30OK. Here's your first lesson in Oklahoma law enforcement.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33See what just happened to you?
0:24:33 > 0:24:35- I don't care.- You don't care?
0:24:35 > 0:24:40OK. Take her down the station, lock her in the holding cells to cool off.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46My kids have sat in the police department with handcuffs on.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Tough love.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52I have to care for her which is why we're going through all this.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Before she's taken to the cells,
0:25:00 > 0:25:05police dispatcher Marsha Morgan has some wise words for Kaya.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07You have to listen to somebody somewhere.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10At your age, somebody has to give you guidance.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13You may be used to getting your own way,
0:25:13 > 0:25:16- but here's it's a little different. - I knew it'd be hard,
0:25:16 > 0:25:19but I didn't realise how hard it was gonna be.
0:25:19 > 0:25:23It may not be something you like and I'm telling you here and now,
0:25:23 > 0:25:27life is not a bed of roses. I don't know who promised you that,
0:25:27 > 0:25:29but whoever did, they lied.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31I can't physically do it. I'm emotionally drained.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34I want to go home and be with family.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37- But you have to give it a chance, Kaya.- I can't.
0:25:38 > 0:25:43Do you possibly think that if you go back right now
0:25:43 > 0:25:45that they're gonna be proud of you?
0:25:45 > 0:25:48- They'll say, "What did we do wrong?" - I know.
0:25:58 > 0:26:02I'm trying to get her to understand that at her age,
0:26:02 > 0:26:04she's not always gonna get what she wants.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06And if she quits on herself now,
0:26:06 > 0:26:09she's gonna quit on herself for the rest of her life.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16After two hours at the police station,
0:26:16 > 0:26:20Kaya is cornered into making a decision.
0:26:20 > 0:26:21I'm gonna go back to the house.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27Give it one more shot tomorrow. If I don't like it, I'm going home.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Hey, Momma, she's back!
0:26:41 > 0:26:47To be welcomed back by the Whites, Kaya must first make amends for her behaviour.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you today.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53- And being disrespectful. - I appreciate that very much.
0:26:53 > 0:26:57Kaya, today was a real rough day for all of us.
0:26:57 > 0:27:01I want you to know how happy I am you decided to stick with it.
0:27:01 > 0:27:06From this point on, things go back to the way they were.
0:27:06 > 0:27:11We had the rules. We go with the rules and do everything we're supposed to be doing,
0:27:11 > 0:27:14as a family, as a team.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16And hopefully we'll get through this week
0:27:16 > 0:27:20- with a much healthier respect for each other.- Mm-hmm.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24I want you to understand that the only reason I push so hard
0:27:24 > 0:27:26is cos I care so much.
0:27:26 > 0:27:29A lot of it has to do with my past as a police officer.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32It seems like I'm extremely hard.
0:27:32 > 0:27:36But my heart is much bigger than my bite.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38So...
0:27:38 > 0:27:40- Can I get a hug?- Yeah.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42I appreciate it.
0:27:44 > 0:27:49- I do appreciate you sticking with it.- It's OK.
0:27:49 > 0:27:53For Stacey, dealing with Kaya is an uncomfortable reminder
0:27:53 > 0:27:55of why he parents the way he does.
0:27:55 > 0:27:59I was still pretty young into law enforcement and I had a young lady
0:27:59 > 0:28:02who was much like Kaya.
0:28:02 > 0:28:09She was pushy, she was rebellious against authority.
0:28:09 > 0:28:15She had shown pretty much most of the characteristics Kaya shows now.
0:28:15 > 0:28:22I was so caught up in being a cop, so to speak,
0:28:22 > 0:28:25that I didn't take those extra steps like I did today
0:28:25 > 0:28:29to ensure that we got to the root of the problem.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32And the young lady committed suicide.
0:28:32 > 0:28:37So that's always haunted me. It still does, a lot.
0:28:42 > 0:28:47Evening chores give Kaya the chance to reflect on the day's events.
0:28:47 > 0:28:49In America they have a strong opinion
0:28:49 > 0:28:51that they don't like quitters.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53They like people to just get on with it.
0:28:53 > 0:28:57You can't quit because some things in life you've got to do.
0:28:57 > 0:29:01That's the way they see it. Which is right, but sometimes it's annoying.
0:29:23 > 0:29:26He's just passed out!
0:29:26 > 0:29:28Come on, Jay. Time to get up.
0:29:32 > 0:29:34Kaya, time to wake up.
0:29:34 > 0:29:36KAYA GRUMBLES
0:29:40 > 0:29:44As chief of police, Stacey takes enormous pride in his community.
0:29:44 > 0:29:48He insists all his children do regular volunteer work.
0:29:55 > 0:29:58Today, he's offered the teens' services washing police cars
0:29:58 > 0:30:02under the supervision of Deputy Chief Matier.
0:30:02 > 0:30:07I just expect them to do the job right. Get it done
0:30:07 > 0:30:08and not complain about it.
0:30:10 > 0:30:16After yesterday's run-in with the law, Kaya's decided it's easier to do as she's told.
0:30:16 > 0:30:21I can't be arsed to argue with anyone. I want to get on with it, and go back to the house.
0:30:21 > 0:30:24But work-shy Jay has a problem.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26It's too hot. I'm not doing it.
0:30:26 > 0:30:33I'll do something else. But I'm not cleaning cars. They're not my cars and it's not my community.
0:30:33 > 0:30:36- It's not your community, but it's our community.- Look at the weather!
0:30:36 > 0:30:41- It's too hot. I don't feel good. I can't be bothered.- Listen to me.
0:30:46 > 0:30:49This is too hot, Stacey. I'm sorry.
0:30:49 > 0:30:52Come on. Suck it up for 30 minutes. Toughen up, OK?
0:30:53 > 0:30:56That's all I'm asking you to do. Just suck it up.
0:31:00 > 0:31:02It's just bollocks.
0:31:02 > 0:31:06I never done anything wrong. I'm never going in the back of these.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08What they should do
0:31:08 > 0:31:12is the criminals, they should be BLEEP cleaning them.
0:31:12 > 0:31:17Regardless of where his frustration level is, there's no reason to be disrespectful.
0:31:17 > 0:31:20We're just gonna have to hash that out later.
0:31:22 > 0:31:26Deputy Chief Matier wants to know about Jay's life in the UK.
0:31:26 > 0:31:29- Do you have a job back home?- No.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32- You're at school?- Dropped out.
0:31:33 > 0:31:37- What kinda job are you looking for? - I'm not.- You're not?
0:31:37 > 0:31:41The pressure to make something of his life is getting to Jay.
0:31:41 > 0:31:46I just want a cigarette or a spliff. This is just bollocks.
0:31:58 > 0:32:01Jay, you all right, man?
0:32:01 > 0:32:04I need a cigarette. I need to smoke.
0:32:04 > 0:32:07I can't let you smoke anywhere here.
0:32:07 > 0:32:08It's against the law.
0:32:11 > 0:32:16Everything I do at home, I don't get stressed. I can't get stressed cos I'm too high to.
0:32:16 > 0:32:20Here, I can't do anything. I can't even smoke. I don't even like smoking.
0:32:20 > 0:32:25I only smoke if I can't have weed, which ain't very often.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28You can't smoke that weed either, man. It's not good for you.
0:32:28 > 0:32:30It makes you dumb.
0:32:32 > 0:32:34HORN BLARES OUT
0:32:36 > 0:32:40What it is, wash off the cars, get it done, get back to the house.
0:32:45 > 0:32:46Doing a good job.
0:32:48 > 0:32:51Jay, begrudgingly, finishes the job.
0:32:51 > 0:32:55But Deputy Matier has got him thinking about his attitude.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57I don't have motivation in England.
0:32:57 > 0:32:59There's no motivation.
0:32:59 > 0:33:01I don't want to do anything.
0:33:01 > 0:33:03It's like, "So what?"
0:33:03 > 0:33:05I'm with all my friends and everything.
0:33:07 > 0:33:11I know it's a bit of fun, but they do so much stuff over here.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14Like, I don't know. It's just weird.
0:33:15 > 0:33:21Although Jay completed his task, Stacey has unfinished business to attend to.
0:33:21 > 0:33:26What happened out there today at the police department, OK, was...
0:33:28 > 0:33:31..in my mind totally unacceptable.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33And the manner in which you spoke to me
0:33:33 > 0:33:38I can't tolerate that out of any of my kids or any of my officers.
0:33:38 > 0:33:40No matter what had happened,
0:33:40 > 0:33:43it gave you no right to be disrespectful to me.
0:33:43 > 0:33:46I apologise for that. I know it wasn't right,
0:33:46 > 0:33:49but that's all I can say is sorry.
0:33:49 > 0:33:52We need to have a clear understanding of how it works here.
0:33:52 > 0:33:57You broke one of the rules, OK? So there needs to be a punishment for what happened.
0:33:58 > 0:34:01OK. Go get the rifle. We'll get started.
0:34:03 > 0:34:07Laziness and disrespect go against every value instilled in him
0:34:07 > 0:34:10during his service in the Marine Corps.
0:34:11 > 0:34:14- OK.- Four minutes with the rifle. Go.
0:34:21 > 0:34:24The dummy rifle weighs 12 pounds.
0:34:24 > 0:34:28But this is not a test of physical strength.
0:34:30 > 0:34:31Three minutes.
0:34:31 > 0:34:36It's a punishment designed to create self discipline...
0:34:41 > 0:34:43One minute.
0:34:45 > 0:34:50..and one Stacey was made to do hundreds of times when he was a cadet.
0:34:53 > 0:34:57Ten, nine, eight,
0:34:57 > 0:35:00seven, six,
0:35:00 > 0:35:03five, four,
0:35:03 > 0:35:06three, two,
0:35:06 > 0:35:07one. Put it down.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12OK.
0:35:15 > 0:35:17That's it.
0:35:17 > 0:35:19I'm proud of you. I really am.
0:35:22 > 0:35:24Yeah, it uh...
0:35:27 > 0:35:29..that's a true man in the making right there.
0:35:29 > 0:35:30I mean, my gosh!
0:35:31 > 0:35:33I'm proud of him.
0:35:39 > 0:35:41Sometimes you forget the human side.
0:35:41 > 0:35:44When you strive so much to be tough
0:35:44 > 0:35:47then things like this happen that remind you that,
0:35:47 > 0:35:49"Wow, I do have feelings."
0:35:50 > 0:35:52I'm happy right now.
0:35:52 > 0:35:54I really am.
0:35:54 > 0:35:58Seeing such determination
0:35:58 > 0:36:01has left Stacey curious about Jay's defeatist attitude.
0:36:01 > 0:36:06What caused Jay to develop to where he's at today?
0:36:06 > 0:36:09It was a lot to do with my real father.
0:36:09 > 0:36:12I had a BLEEP upbringing to begin with. It was awful.
0:36:12 > 0:36:14Some of the stuff I saw and I went through...
0:36:14 > 0:36:16I do hate my father.
0:36:16 > 0:36:20But I hate him not for what he done, but for what he didn't do.
0:36:21 > 0:36:22I understand that.
0:36:22 > 0:36:24He didn't bring me up.
0:36:24 > 0:36:27At the age of five I had to act like a 13-year-old.
0:36:27 > 0:36:30My mum loved me to bits, I know she did, but she had her own problems.
0:36:30 > 0:36:35I needed to take pressure off her. The only way to do that was by growing up too quickly.
0:36:35 > 0:36:37How do you feel about yourself right now?
0:36:37 > 0:36:41I still think I'm living in my childhood.
0:36:41 > 0:36:44My parents say, "You're an adult. You're an adult."
0:36:44 > 0:36:47But I've never shown them that I'm an adult.
0:36:51 > 0:36:55Chatting to Stacey has got Jay thinking about home.
0:36:55 > 0:36:58I miss my family and I don't appreciate them.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01When you've got all those feelings going round your head,
0:37:01 > 0:37:04it makes you realise what you're actually here for.
0:37:04 > 0:37:07It's because you do need to change.
0:37:07 > 0:37:11He's not the only one contemplating family.
0:37:11 > 0:37:13Me being in America, it's a bit weird
0:37:13 > 0:37:16cos obviously I want to go home cos I miss everyone.
0:37:16 > 0:37:20I miss Mum and Dad a lot. Can't wait for the week to hurry up.
0:37:23 > 0:37:25SIREN WAILS
0:37:38 > 0:37:42It's 2.00am. Kaya has been rushed to hospital.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45She complained of feeling unwell,
0:37:45 > 0:37:48mentioning insect bites as a possible cause.
0:37:48 > 0:37:52When she became unresponsive, Stacey called an ambulance.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59The doctors can't find any physical symptoms.
0:37:59 > 0:38:02The medics have suspicions
0:38:02 > 0:38:07that it was a "put on" episode.
0:38:07 > 0:38:11If she actually has a medical problem of any sort
0:38:11 > 0:38:14it would have come out.
0:38:14 > 0:38:16They would have found it in there.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20Hell, only Kaya knows.
0:38:23 > 0:38:26After extensive tests, Kaya is discharged.
0:38:28 > 0:38:33The doctors who saw her described her episode as "most likely malingering".
0:38:33 > 0:38:37I'm just gonna go and get some sleep before I act upon anything.
0:38:37 > 0:38:42It's never a good idea to act when you're angry and tired.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56It's only the teens' fourth morning in America.
0:38:56 > 0:39:00Last night's drama has left the whole family shocked and confused.
0:39:03 > 0:39:04She's faking.
0:39:05 > 0:39:07- JAY:- I don't know what to think.
0:39:07 > 0:39:11If she was faking it, I don't think she'd let it go that far.
0:39:11 > 0:39:13But...
0:39:13 > 0:39:16I've only known her four days, so you never know.
0:39:17 > 0:39:20But Kaya has no doubts about what she's doing.
0:39:20 > 0:39:22I'm packing cos I'm going home.
0:39:22 > 0:39:24I'm ill. I can't do this.
0:39:24 > 0:39:27I'm physically drained. Actually, now I am.
0:39:27 > 0:39:29I don't give two BLEEP what anyone says.
0:39:29 > 0:39:32With the doctors' diagnosis on his mind,
0:39:32 > 0:39:37Stacey had concluded that Kaya's episode was an elaborate plan to get home.
0:39:38 > 0:39:41First of all, how are you feeling? Are you still feeling sickly?
0:39:41 > 0:39:46I feel a bit better, but I feel I need to go to sleep,
0:39:46 > 0:39:48but I can't sleep because I've slept enough.
0:39:48 > 0:39:51If you had to go back through everything that happened,
0:39:51 > 0:39:55- do you think it would have been different?- What do you mean?
0:39:55 > 0:39:59- With what happened last night.- No, not at all, cos that was how I felt.
0:39:59 > 0:40:03I felt ill. I couldn't open my eyes properly. It's how I felt.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05I can't change what happened last night.
0:40:05 > 0:40:07If I could, I would. But I can't.
0:40:07 > 0:40:11I'll tell you I don't feel like it was really that bad.
0:40:11 > 0:40:15I think that your illness last night
0:40:15 > 0:40:21wasn't as extreme as led on to be.
0:40:21 > 0:40:26I personally, having medical experience and training,
0:40:26 > 0:40:28OK, um...
0:40:28 > 0:40:32saw that your symptoms that you had
0:40:32 > 0:40:36weren't indicative of a sting or bite.
0:40:36 > 0:40:40It was merely some medicinal drama that didn't need to be there.
0:40:42 > 0:40:45And it really hurt a lot of people.
0:40:45 > 0:40:49That's how you feel. If that's your opinion, that's your opinion.
0:40:55 > 0:40:56I'm not bothered.
0:40:56 > 0:41:01At the end of the day I'm going home and that's it. It's finished.
0:41:01 > 0:41:03Excuse me.
0:41:03 > 0:41:06The conversation has confirmed Stacey's suspicions.
0:41:06 > 0:41:10All I want is admission now, but that's not gonna happen. I tried.
0:41:10 > 0:41:14If this is the type of ethics that she's going to have,
0:41:14 > 0:41:17I think... I think she needs to be sent home.
0:41:17 > 0:41:20I've gone as far as I'm prepared to go.
0:41:23 > 0:41:26He wants to inform Kaya's parents of the situation.
0:41:26 > 0:41:30Can I ask you, sir, have we had similar incidents
0:41:30 > 0:41:33to what happened last night in the past with her?
0:41:45 > 0:41:47I think this is drama.
0:42:05 > 0:42:09I was ready to send her home today, but now I'm upset.
0:42:09 > 0:42:12I'm now inclined to make her stick it out and not make it easy on her.
0:42:17 > 0:42:19OK.
0:42:20 > 0:42:22- 'Bye.'- Bye-bye.
0:42:23 > 0:42:26These people truly are at their wits' end.
0:42:26 > 0:42:28In my line of work,
0:42:28 > 0:42:33when you absolutely refuse someone asking for your help
0:42:33 > 0:42:35it's called negligence of duty.
0:42:35 > 0:42:38I have a parent here asking for my help, you know?
0:42:38 > 0:42:42I've already made that mistake of turning my back once.
0:42:42 > 0:42:44I just can't do it again.
0:42:53 > 0:42:55Hey, Kaya!
0:42:55 > 0:42:57Come in and sit down.
0:43:02 > 0:43:03OK.
0:43:05 > 0:43:08Your father made it very clear to me...
0:43:10 > 0:43:17..that he and your mother have endured insurmountable pain,
0:43:17 > 0:43:20but that they love you so dearly
0:43:20 > 0:43:26that this was what they felt you needed.
0:43:28 > 0:43:30I know that, but I'm still not staying.
0:43:30 > 0:43:33I know how my mum and dad feel. I know what I've done wrong.
0:43:35 > 0:43:37I'm not staying. I can't. Sorry.
0:43:39 > 0:43:45Your father nearly begged me to make you see this through.
0:43:46 > 0:43:51And with cracked voice and I could tell what was beginning to be tears,
0:43:51 > 0:43:53was asking me to help.
0:43:53 > 0:43:58He doesn't need help because he doesn't know what I'm gonna be like when I get back.
0:43:58 > 0:44:01- Mum and Dad don't know. - What do you mean?
0:44:01 > 0:44:05This has obviously changed me a lot.
0:44:05 > 0:44:07What do you think you've learned?
0:44:10 > 0:44:13I feel like I've learnt enough.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18They're expecting you to see it through.
0:44:18 > 0:44:21I don't care what anyone says. I need to go home.
0:44:21 > 0:44:23I can't do it. I just can't.
0:44:23 > 0:44:28Stop and think about it for a second the words that you're saying. "I can't. I can't."
0:44:28 > 0:44:31- You can do anything you want to do. - But I don't want to.
0:44:31 > 0:44:34It's simple as that. I don't want to stay.
0:44:44 > 0:44:47- Go dry your eyes up.- OK.
0:44:56 > 0:44:58She's done.
0:45:01 > 0:45:07Making her stay here is gonna create more misery for our kids. I'm not gonna go through that.
0:45:07 > 0:45:09I can't. It's hurting our family.
0:45:22 > 0:45:27Think about others. Think about other people when you're going through life.
0:45:27 > 0:45:30- OK.- Good luck, baby.
0:45:30 > 0:45:32Good luck too, for you.
0:45:32 > 0:45:35- We love you.- Love you, too. - Take care.- I will do.
0:45:45 > 0:45:50I'm sure she has, in her mind, gotten what she wanted,
0:45:50 > 0:45:53which was to be away from here and back home
0:45:53 > 0:45:55where she can act however she wants.
0:45:55 > 0:46:00But, bottom line, she hasn't learned anything here.
0:46:00 > 0:46:04She'll continue on the destructive path she has chosen for herself.
0:46:04 > 0:46:08She's got a long road ahead of her. I wish her the best, I really do.
0:46:11 > 0:46:15For me, enough's enough. It's time to go home, back to where I belong.
0:46:25 > 0:46:28As Kaya starts her journey home,
0:46:28 > 0:46:32in Manchester her parents are left to contemplate their family's future.
0:46:32 > 0:46:36- Well...- I was devastated when I found out she was coming home.
0:46:36 > 0:46:39I couldn't even speak. Completely numb.
0:46:39 > 0:46:42I can't believe she's not followed it through to the end.
0:46:42 > 0:46:45I said to her "You've got to meet middle ground with people.
0:46:45 > 0:46:47"You can't have everything your way."
0:46:47 > 0:46:50The thing is, she knows she could have done it.
0:46:50 > 0:46:53- Oh, yeah.- She just chose not to.
0:46:53 > 0:46:56The point is, if that doesn't work, what is going to?
0:46:58 > 0:47:00- All right?- Yeah.
0:47:04 > 0:47:07With just a short time before he's due to leave,
0:47:07 > 0:47:12Stacey and Shannon are determined that Jay learns some valuable lessons.
0:47:13 > 0:47:16- SHANNON:- Jay is coming and being nicey, nicey, nicey.
0:47:16 > 0:47:19"I'll do exactly what you say and then you're gonna like me."
0:47:19 > 0:47:24That tells me a lot that he doesn't have the confidence in himself
0:47:24 > 0:47:27to realise that he doesn't have to put the act on.
0:47:27 > 0:47:33Once he realises that he is good and he's someone that's worth something,
0:47:33 > 0:47:35I think that'll take him a long ways.
0:47:35 > 0:47:38Stacey is a police firearms instructor for Oklahoma.
0:47:38 > 0:47:42He believes weapons training can instil a sense of maturity and responsibility.
0:47:42 > 0:47:44Welcome to the range!
0:47:44 > 0:47:47He wants to show Jay just how much faith he has in him.
0:47:47 > 0:47:51Jay's parents have given permission for Stacey to entrust him with a loaded gun.
0:47:51 > 0:47:57OK, Jay, what you have here are the Government-model 1911s,
0:47:57 > 0:48:01a .45 ACP. That's a .45-calibre round.
0:48:01 > 0:48:02Do you want to hold it?
0:48:02 > 0:48:05If someone gets shot with a .45, they're going down.
0:48:05 > 0:48:09Even if they're carrying body armour, they're gonna hurt.
0:48:09 > 0:48:13The Oklahoma law enforcement philosophy is you shoot to kill.
0:48:13 > 0:48:16You don't want hot brass going down your shirt.
0:48:23 > 0:48:25Fire when ready.
0:48:32 > 0:48:34Lock it.
0:48:35 > 0:48:37Let's see what you did to him.
0:48:39 > 0:48:43Well, that guy's definitely dead and/or badly wounded.
0:48:46 > 0:48:49- That could have just saved someone. - Mm-hmm.
0:48:49 > 0:48:52It's fun, isn't it? Want to do some more?
0:48:54 > 0:48:58OK, Jay. This is the M4 AR-15 assault rifle.
0:48:58 > 0:49:00It's a 5.56 millimetre.
0:49:00 > 0:49:04You place those cross hairs in the middle of your target.
0:49:04 > 0:49:05Understand?
0:49:17 > 0:49:18OK?
0:49:19 > 0:49:22Inspired by Stacey's trust,
0:49:22 > 0:49:25Jay summons the courage to ask for advice.
0:49:25 > 0:49:28I don't want people to think of Jay Birch like,
0:49:28 > 0:49:31"Well, he could have been, but he weren't."
0:49:31 > 0:49:33I'm fed up with that.
0:49:33 > 0:49:37When I told my father that I'd joined the Marines, he said, "You won't make it."
0:49:37 > 0:49:40He said, "They're too tough for you."
0:49:40 > 0:49:44Well, I was gonna prove him wrong. And I did prove him wrong.
0:49:44 > 0:49:48It's a matter of mentally telling yourself, "I'm gonna do this."
0:49:49 > 0:49:51That's all it takes.
0:49:52 > 0:49:56There's always the fear of failure. Always the fear.
0:49:56 > 0:49:58Each time you get knocked down,
0:49:58 > 0:50:02you've got to pick yourself up and say, "Hell, bring it on!
0:50:02 > 0:50:05"Hit me again if you want."
0:50:05 > 0:50:09I believe in you and I've only known you for a week.
0:50:09 > 0:50:11I'm telling you the truth.
0:50:11 > 0:50:14I believe you can do it. You can excel in whatever you want to do.
0:50:17 > 0:50:21Jay is starting to accept why he's never tried at anything.
0:50:21 > 0:50:24I'm afraid of other people seeing me fail
0:50:24 > 0:50:26cos I'm a person that never likes to fail.
0:50:26 > 0:50:32I don't set myself any goals because that way I can't fail, so no-one can see it.
0:50:33 > 0:50:36When Jay's family sent him to Oklahoma,
0:50:36 > 0:50:41their main hope was that he would find a way to move forward from the family's bereavement.
0:50:43 > 0:50:47Jay's niece, Molly, was four years, coming up for five.
0:50:47 > 0:50:52She very suddenly had a droopy face.
0:50:52 > 0:50:56My daughter took her to the doctor's who sent her up the hospital.
0:50:56 > 0:51:00Within three weeks of going up to London, Molly died.
0:51:00 > 0:51:03It's devastated us.
0:51:03 > 0:51:06One week I was sitting watching a favourite film with her,
0:51:06 > 0:51:10playing around, having a play fight, mucking around.
0:51:10 > 0:51:14The next week I'm sitting up at King's Hospital and I'm just...
0:51:14 > 0:51:16I can't explain it,
0:51:16 > 0:51:19you feel empty cos I believed that she was gonna get through it.
0:51:19 > 0:51:21I built myself up,
0:51:21 > 0:51:25built myself up, built myself up, but it didn't come through.
0:51:25 > 0:51:29That's what knocked me down. That's kind of why I don't get my hopes up no more.
0:51:29 > 0:51:31I don't think he's dealt with it at all.
0:51:31 > 0:51:35I don't think he's dealt with her being in hospital,
0:51:35 > 0:51:37the funeral.
0:51:37 > 0:51:41I think losing Molly has made him think, "Don't look into the future,
0:51:41 > 0:51:43"there's no point in planning a future
0:51:43 > 0:51:46"because it could all go wrong."
0:51:47 > 0:51:50It's Jay's last evening with the Whites.
0:51:50 > 0:51:53Stacey has news from home.
0:51:53 > 0:51:55We'll let you alone.
0:52:00 > 0:52:02"My darling Jay,
0:52:02 > 0:52:05"where you're going with your life now we do not know.
0:52:05 > 0:52:07"I, as your mum, want so much more for you.
0:52:07 > 0:52:10"But you need to get a grip and sort your life out.
0:52:10 > 0:52:13"I think you've come to a standstill in your life.
0:52:13 > 0:52:17"You seem to have given up since Molly died. Trust me when I say I want to give up too,
0:52:17 > 0:52:20"but we all need to carry on.
0:52:22 > 0:52:26"I am not your dad, but I am very proud to call you my son.
0:52:26 > 0:52:29"All I want you...
0:52:29 > 0:52:31"All I want you to do is achieve the best you can do
0:52:31 > 0:52:34"with the maximum effort coming from you."
0:52:37 > 0:52:39I've just never bothered in life.
0:52:39 > 0:52:40And I've...
0:52:42 > 0:52:46..not wasted my life, but it's beginning to get that way.
0:52:46 > 0:52:51I thought I was only pissing her off. I didn't think I was actually hurting her like that.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58I've let 'em down too many times.
0:52:58 > 0:53:02I can't do it again. It's not an option no more.
0:53:09 > 0:53:13Jay must now return to his own parents back in England.
0:53:13 > 0:53:17Shannon and Stacey hope honorary membership of Kiefer's police department
0:53:17 > 0:53:22will be a constant reminder of his time in Oklahoma.
0:53:22 > 0:53:24Oh, my God!
0:53:24 > 0:53:26Thank you.
0:53:26 > 0:53:29You're very welcome.
0:53:29 > 0:53:31It just means so much.
0:53:31 > 0:53:33You earned it.
0:53:38 > 0:53:40Thank you for coming into our lives.
0:53:40 > 0:53:42You don't give up on yourself.
0:53:43 > 0:53:45'They've made me see sense.
0:53:45 > 0:53:48'They've made me see things that I wasn't willing to accept.'
0:53:48 > 0:53:51I can do so much more with my life.
0:53:53 > 0:53:55Kaya's parents have had three days
0:53:55 > 0:53:58to get over the shock of her early departure.
0:53:58 > 0:54:02MUM: 'I'd like an acknowledgement, really, more than an apology.
0:54:02 > 0:54:05Just for her to know that what she did was wrong.
0:54:08 > 0:54:11They both know the future is uncertain.
0:54:14 > 0:54:18For your sake more than anyone's, not mine, not your mum's,
0:54:18 > 0:54:25for your sake I hope you've brought back with you some good points that's gonna help you.
0:54:25 > 0:54:29It does seem as you baled out. It's just disappointing
0:54:29 > 0:54:34after putting as much as you put in, your mum put in and me.
0:54:34 > 0:54:37I'm sorry for what I've put you through in the past
0:54:37 > 0:54:39cos I know it was wrong.
0:54:44 > 0:54:47- Don't cry.- I want you to learn, mate, that's all.
0:54:47 > 0:54:50Just learn by it, Kaya.
0:54:57 > 0:55:00I hope Jay's come back with a better attitude to life.
0:55:01 > 0:55:03I'm home!
0:55:05 > 0:55:09- How you been?- I'm all right.
0:55:09 > 0:55:14I feel really clear about myself. I feel revitalised.
0:55:14 > 0:55:18I have more confidence in myself instead of everyone else having confidence in me.
0:55:18 > 0:55:22I needed it and I've got it now. I know what I wanna do and I'll do it.
0:55:22 > 0:55:27You've come back a man! I've never heard you say that before, Jay.
0:55:27 > 0:55:29No, I've not heard it before.
0:55:29 > 0:55:33You don't know how proud and how much love my heart holds for you.
0:55:37 > 0:55:41Next time on the World's Strictest Parents...
0:55:41 > 0:55:44It was ridiculous. I felt so invaded.
0:55:44 > 0:55:47Catch up with teens from across the series.
0:55:47 > 0:55:51She had a fag in her hand, some vodka in her hand. A bit pissed!
0:55:51 > 0:55:53I can smell it from here!
0:55:53 > 0:55:55Go BLEEP yourself.
0:55:55 > 0:55:58Evil thing am I to do that to a family.
0:55:58 > 0:56:02And find out whether their experiences changed their lives...
0:56:02 > 0:56:06It was the best thing I could have ever done in the whole of my life.
0:56:06 > 0:56:08..or was swiftly forgotten.
0:56:08 > 0:56:10There has been a little bit of change,
0:56:10 > 0:56:13but not as much as, say, my mother would think.
0:56:13 > 0:56:16- Thank you, darling. That's lovely. - That's all right.
0:56:31 > 0:56:34Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:56:34 > 0:56:37E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk