0:00:02 > 0:00:05Around the world, many parents raise their kids on a diet of strict discipline.
0:00:05 > 0:00:10It's our responsibility as parents to be in control of the music that they listen to,
0:00:10 > 0:00:13the movies they watch and the friends they have.
0:00:13 > 0:00:16- Rub, rub, rub. - Rigid boundaries...
0:00:16 > 0:00:21Am I friends with my children? No. I'm not your friend, I'm your parent.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23..and immediate consequences.
0:00:23 > 0:00:28My dad is really strict. If you break the rules he can be very scary.
0:00:30 > 0:00:35But can traditional parenting change the lives of rebellious British teenagers?
0:00:35 > 0:00:39I was brought here on this earth to party.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42She can be an absolute nightmare. It's awful.
0:00:42 > 0:00:48My lifestyle is playing Xbox, getting hammered.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51I'm getting you!
0:00:51 > 0:00:53'I went to anger management.'
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Got kicked out of anger management for being angry.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58No-one can tell me what to do.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Not even the Queen of England can tell me what to do.
0:01:01 > 0:01:02GLASS BREAKING AND SCREAMING
0:01:02 > 0:01:07He's slapped me, he's poked me, he's pushed me, he's done it all.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09I am what I am. If you don't like it, jog on.
0:01:09 > 0:01:15To find out, two teens who have never met before will leave their fraught families behind...
0:01:15 > 0:01:19- Maybe she'll come back home and be nice.- Doubt it.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21..and head off to the far corners of the world,
0:01:21 > 0:01:26where they will live according to strict rules imposed by new parents.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30You are not in the UK, you are in Barbados.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33They are the most awful people I've ever met in my whole life.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36If she wants to throw a hissy fit, she can have her hissy fit.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40I'm going home, bruv.
0:01:42 > 0:01:46This is our rule. If you're going to cop an attitude about it, forget it.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52If this is how they are, I'm sorry for Britain.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05CHANTING: Do it, do it, do it!
0:02:05 > 0:02:07THEY ALL SCREAM AND CHEER
0:02:08 > 0:02:1316-year-old Dina Darwiesh is an embarrassment to her mother.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Sometimes when she goes out, she goes over the top.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19The make-up, the high boots, the short skirts.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21In a word I'd say she looks like a slag.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27I go out and I wear what I want, and it can be quite, like, revealing.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Dina! Get a room!
0:02:29 > 0:02:34As a young British Muslim you're expected to be quite respectful to your elders,
0:02:34 > 0:02:38but you're also supposed to have respect for yourself, respect for your religion.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40I can say that I'm not the best of Muslims.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43THEY ALL SCREAM
0:02:44 > 0:02:51Dina has a part-time job, but her meagre wages don't come close to funding her extravagant tastes.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55I love my fur jackets, and for winter it will be pretty useful.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58If I don't have the money I'll go off to my mum for the money.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01It's a Burberry skirt. I have to say I do like it.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Dina is very materialistic.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06She seems to think that whatever she wants she'll get.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08How much is it?
0:03:08 > 0:03:09£365.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14I think because I'm an only child I expect more, and so therefore I want more
0:03:14 > 0:03:17because I think she's got no-one else, so it's just kind of me.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19I can't afford it. I could ask my mum for it.
0:03:19 > 0:03:24Dina funds her high-rolling lifestyle with hi-tech deception.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27'I've taken my mum's money without her knowing'
0:03:27 > 0:03:31because she does online banking and she tells me all of her passwords and everything.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33I do little by little so she won't notice.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37Mum Kamila is desperate for something to change.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40She was a very, very loving girl.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Had a lot of respect for everybody, lot of respect for herself.
0:03:43 > 0:03:48She's suddenly lost all that, and she seems to have lost everything at the moment.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Are you not eating with us?
0:03:52 > 0:03:53Obviously not.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56I expect you to eat your dinner with us, Michael's prepared it.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59Yeah, but I never do, and I want to watch the film anyway.
0:03:59 > 0:04:0416-year-old Alex Miles has completely opted out of family life.
0:04:04 > 0:04:09I have definitely given up on bothering with a relationship with my mum and stepdad.
0:04:09 > 0:04:14It would be better if you sat down and had a meal with us because Michael's made an effort to do it.
0:04:14 > 0:04:15Yeah, throw some food down.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Sorry.
0:04:23 > 0:04:28Alex passed seven GCSEs, but his education is taking a back seat.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30'My favourite thing at the moment is probably'
0:04:30 > 0:04:35going to a few house parties, hanging around with my friends, drinking and stuff like that.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38'I don't really feel I need a family looking out for me or anything.'
0:04:38 > 0:04:40I've got my friends, so I'm not worried.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about where he is,
0:04:44 > 0:04:50what he's doing, drinking alcohol, sex, drugs, you can tick every box.
0:04:53 > 0:04:57Stepdad Mike arrived on the scene when Alex was four.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Smoking in your room is out of order.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03- Don't smoke in your room.- I don't.
0:05:03 > 0:05:04I smoke in the garden, don't I?
0:05:04 > 0:05:09- You're lying, Alex.- If I have to lie, then I'll happily lie if it gets me out of trouble.
0:05:09 > 0:05:14I'm not worried. I'll happily call myself a liar, I'm not worried what other people think about me at all.
0:05:14 > 0:05:20Mum Jane is bearing the brunt of Alex's selfish attitude and their relationship is at breaking point.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24- You're only 16, Charlotte's only 16. - Yeah.- You shouldn't be having sex.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27I'm not. I told you I'm not having sex in this house.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30'We just get in constant arguments. We disagree about everything.'
0:05:30 > 0:05:35She doesn't understand me or why I'm doing what I am and I can't explain it.
0:05:35 > 0:05:40Sometimes I question whether I actually do love him because of the pressure and stress.
0:05:40 > 0:05:44Sometimes I feel like I just want to stay at work and not come home.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Could you bring your dishes down so I can put the dishwasher on?
0:05:47 > 0:05:52Obviously if you want to put the dishwasher then you're the one who's going to be taking the shit down.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56I think he's drifting into all the things
0:05:56 > 0:06:01we know won't be right for him, and I want him to get a grip.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08In a desperate attempt to transform their lives...
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Take care, and don't be obnoxious.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15..these long-suffering families are entrusting their teenagers
0:06:15 > 0:06:18to new parents on the other side of the world.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Make sure you take care of yourself and look after yourself, have a nice time.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Don't be too rude to the family.
0:06:23 > 0:06:28- Yeah, sure.- Can I give you a hug? - Fine. See you in a bit.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Enjoy yourself, then, Alex.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Take care and be well-behaved.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- All right, cool.- All right?
0:06:35 > 0:06:39- I'm Alex.- I'm Dina. Nice to meet you.
0:06:39 > 0:06:44I miss her already. I really do, I really do miss her.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48I'm not sure I'll miss him that much for the week.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50I'm just hoping he'll get a good experience from it.
0:06:57 > 0:07:03The teens' 4,000-mile journey will end here, Chicago,
0:07:03 > 0:07:07the biggest city of the American Midwest, and home to the Davis family.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11They believe that parents must have absolute authority over their children.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15We teach our children whether adults do something you like or not,
0:07:15 > 0:07:20because they are adults, you respect them with your actions.
0:07:21 > 0:07:29Dad DeWayne and his wife Vanessa have two daughters, 14-year-old Latrice and 16-year-old Lanessa.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32When we give a directive it should be done.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36We don't count to one, two, three.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39We don't keep saying, "haven't I told you," or "didn't I tell you?"
0:07:39 > 0:07:42You get one time to do what you're asked to do.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44All right, let's pray.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46DeWayne is the pastor of the local church,
0:07:46 > 0:07:50and their Christian beliefs form the backbone of their parenting.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54We're the kind of parents that offer rules and relationship.
0:07:54 > 0:07:59- Group hug. OK, wait a minute, spinning group hug. - Dad, that's ridiculous!
0:07:59 > 0:08:03'To give kids just strictly rules, that motivates them to rebel.'
0:08:03 > 0:08:08If you give them just relationship that makes them spoilt and they are ruined.
0:08:10 > 0:08:15After a nine-hour flight, the teens touch down in Chicago.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25It looks like a really pleasant place.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28- Everything's going to be Burberry. - Probably got nice jobs
0:08:28 > 0:08:31- and just expect everything of everyone.- Yeah, high expectations.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Well, honey, this is it.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Yeah, it's going to be exciting. I'm looking forward to it.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44- Maybe they do look a bit too happy. - They seem way too nice.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48They seem like they're going to be really angry people, nice, and soon as you piss them off that's it.
0:08:51 > 0:08:57- I'm Dina.- Dina, I'm Mr DeWayne Davis and this is my wife, Vanessa.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00- Hi, nice to meet you.- How are you?
0:09:00 > 0:09:05- I'm OK.- Good. - Alex.- Alex. DeWayne Davis.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Vanessa Davis. Nice to meet you.
0:09:09 > 0:09:15- We've been really looking forward to meeting you guys.- So have we.- Good.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19- Well, y'all want to go on in? - Yeah, OK.- OK.
0:09:19 > 0:09:25For the next seven days, the teens will live by the same rules as the Davis children.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Welcome to our home.
0:09:27 > 0:09:34- I want you to meet our daughters, your sisters for the week. - I'm Latrice.- I'm Lanessa.
0:09:34 > 0:09:39Come in and get settled. Girls, do you want to take their coats?
0:09:39 > 0:09:46- The Davises have worked hard to own their comfortable four-bedroom house.- Dina?
0:09:46 > 0:09:50- Yeah.- Got to make sure I say it right. This is where you'll sleep.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52It's a really nice room.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Alex, this is going to be your room in here.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Oh, right. It looks nice.
0:09:56 > 0:10:01'When I first saw them standing outside they just looked so like a happy, perfect couple.'
0:10:01 > 0:10:04And they said they'd been married for 25 years, I was like, "OK, then,"
0:10:04 > 0:10:08that's quite a long time, whereas you're used to being in England,
0:10:08 > 0:10:10everyone's constantly getting divorced.
0:10:10 > 0:10:15'I reckon they're going to be overly strict, get really angry about almost everything I do.'
0:10:15 > 0:10:18The area looks nice, so I'm looking forward to actually being kicked out
0:10:18 > 0:10:20so I can have a little stroll around.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Dina and Alex, if you guys can come down.
0:10:23 > 0:10:29Mr and Mrs Davis believe that in their house, parents are the ultimate authority.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Let me show you what the rules are.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35- A whole list?- A list.
0:10:35 > 0:10:42All right. First of all, smoking, in and around our house, or out with the family is not permitted.
0:10:42 > 0:10:47We don't allow our family to smoke, we don't allow relatives when they come over to smoke.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50We're a smoke-free zone, all right?
0:10:50 > 0:10:54No forms of drug and alcohol will be allowed in our home.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Profanity, as far as language, is not allowed.
0:10:56 > 0:11:03Dress. Clothing is not allowed in our home or outside that exposes breasts,
0:11:03 > 0:11:05butts, boxers,
0:11:05 > 0:11:11or that which is too tightly revealing parts of the body which should be properly displayed.
0:11:11 > 0:11:17- All my clothes are really fitted, though.- OK. - That's a really hard one.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19I'm going to let Vanessa be the one that
0:11:19 > 0:11:23when it comes to that she'll probably talk to you about if it's too this or too that.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25But then as far as boxers,
0:11:25 > 0:11:33having your pants below your butt, I would have to ask you if you could not do that, OK.
0:11:33 > 0:11:40As far as relating to others, no fighting, no slamming doors, no talking back,
0:11:40 > 0:11:45yelling, screaming and stomping out of the room, walking away in the middle of a conversation.
0:11:45 > 0:11:49Absolutely no lying with the intent to deceive.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52It's going to result in immediate punishment.
0:11:52 > 0:11:57So, now at this point we're going to let you go ahead and get unpacked and get settled.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00So, again, welcome to our home.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09While I'm here I can't imagine me having much freedom at all,
0:12:09 > 0:12:13because he seems to want to control everything and everyone in the house
0:12:13 > 0:12:15and just won't let anyone do what they want to do.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18I think the rules are a bit too much to take on.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21I don't mind boundaries, like certain things not to do,
0:12:21 > 0:12:24but when there's a massive list of things I can't do
0:12:24 > 0:12:27or that shouldn't be done in general, it's just too much.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Like, his rules are so stupid.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33Telling me how to dress and not to smoke and stuff.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37KNOCKING ON DOOR
0:12:37 > 0:12:40Alex, can I come in?
0:12:40 > 0:12:42DeWayne and Vanessa want to ensure that the teens
0:12:42 > 0:12:45have brought nothing with them that would invite temptation.
0:12:45 > 0:12:51I just want to make sure that we get off to a good start with you honouring the rules.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54I don't know if you're a smoker or not, I don't know if you're drug user or not,
0:12:54 > 0:12:57I don't know if you drink alcohol.
0:12:57 > 0:13:04So, I'm going to have to go through your stuff just to make sure that none of that stuff is actually here.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Yeah, sure, feel free.
0:13:06 > 0:13:11- I'll check to make sure you don't have anything that violates our rules.- I'm not worried.
0:13:11 > 0:13:19- OK. What's with the lighter, what do you use the lighter for?- Erm...
0:13:19 > 0:13:20Truthfully.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Lighting a fag, or something.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Oh, really? Did you bring any with you?
0:13:25 > 0:13:26- What, fags?- Yeah.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29- No.- So, you didn't bring any cigarettes with you, right?- No.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Are you telling me the truth?
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Why would it matter?
0:13:33 > 0:13:37Because we established the boundaries that you're supposed to tell the truth
0:13:37 > 0:13:39and not lie with the intent to deceive.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Yeah, I did, yeah, I did.
0:13:41 > 0:13:46OK, you give me the cigarettes, and whenever you want one
0:13:46 > 0:13:49I will say "OK, here you go, you can have it."
0:13:49 > 0:13:52How about that, that's cool? OK. Let me have them.
0:13:52 > 0:13:57- I've actually hid them on me, so I'll just have to get them. - Oh, OK. Go ahead.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Oh, so you have to roll them?
0:13:59 > 0:14:01- Yeah.- Where's the papers?
0:14:01 > 0:14:08OK, Alex, first of all I want to thank you so much for being honest, you just bumped up some points.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11The second thing though, is your pants.
0:14:11 > 0:14:16You need to pull your pants up on you and tighten your belt.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19When you pull 'em up, you've still got them down.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23So, what do you think so far?
0:14:23 > 0:14:28- I look like a bit of a- BLEEP! DeWAYNE LAUGHS
0:14:28 > 0:14:34Oh, and by the way, as far as the cigarettes and stuff are concerned,
0:14:34 > 0:14:39tread lightly with the rules, because this will be your punishment.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Yes.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45- Got to keep me in order! - You say what?
0:14:45 > 0:14:48- Keep me in order, man. - OK. Wonderful.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59Lord, thank you once again for another meal we're about to receive.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01May it be used for the nourishment of our bodies.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04We thank you in Jesus' name, Amen.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06The Davises eat together every day.
0:15:06 > 0:15:11They believe that talking at meal times enables parents and teens to maintain a close relationship.
0:15:11 > 0:15:16When was the last time that you sat down with your family like this and ate a dinner?
0:15:16 > 0:15:18It was a very long time ago.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20It's been that long?
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Mmm. But it's like, they want me to stay down there,
0:15:23 > 0:15:26but if the food's ready I'll just go and take it and go upstairs.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29- So we don't really discuss it or anything.- Why do you do that?
0:15:29 > 0:15:33If we have a conversation, in ten minutes it ends in an argument.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35It's we. You, your mum...
0:15:35 > 0:15:38- And my stepdad.- ..and your stepdad.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41So it just always turns a corner and...
0:15:41 > 0:15:44- Yeah.- Wow. So you just don't bother.- Yeah.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46You might change your mind by the end of the week.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Yeah, I probably will, give it a month or so.
0:15:49 > 0:15:55In America, the fashion for low-slung trousers is based in gang and prison culture.
0:15:55 > 0:15:59Alex's sense of style is clearly in breach of the Davises' rules.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05There's something I need to share with you, and I don't know how you're going to take this.
0:16:05 > 0:16:11We specifically spelled out exposing breasts, butts or boxers.
0:16:11 > 0:16:16- And I think I've mentioned it to you probably two or three times.- Yeah.
0:16:16 > 0:16:23Understanding that you pulled them up, they were up, but every time I see you, they're down.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26I'm just not happy with you telling me how to dress.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30- Really?- Yeah. I think I should be able to dress how I like, not how you would like me to.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32OK, well, that's fine.
0:16:32 > 0:16:37I've got one question. Are you going to do what I ask you to do, or are you not going to do it?
0:16:37 > 0:16:40- I'm not going to do it. - OK, the punishment is this.
0:16:40 > 0:16:47You won't be able to smoke any more cigarettes until I see that you are able to pull your pants up.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50- I don't think that should be your choice either. - The decision has been made.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52I don't see why it should concern you.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56It concerns me cos I don't want to see your butt around my house, that's the bottom line.
0:16:56 > 0:17:04You will not get them back until I can see at least a day of you adhering to my standards.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07- Yeah, whatever, then.- "Yeah, whatever, then," what does that mean?
0:17:07 > 0:17:10- You're going to do it, or you're not going to do it?- I'll decide later.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13You'll decide later? Oh, OK, you just decided you'll smoke later.
0:17:15 > 0:17:19- That's the way it works. - I just think I'm old enough to make my own choices.
0:17:19 > 0:17:25Certain choices are not yours to make when you're living and dependent upon somebody else.
0:17:25 > 0:17:30- Well, I'll think about it, then. - All right, well, can we shake on "you'll think about it"?
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Yeah, OK.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34All right, man. Thanks a lot.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38- See you, then.- OK.
0:17:40 > 0:17:45'He is selfish. He wants to write his own ticket and do his own thing.'
0:17:45 > 0:17:48He doesn't want any rules, or anybody telling him what to do.
0:17:48 > 0:17:53He's very arrogant, and we don't have that kind of behaviour in our home.
0:17:53 > 0:17:54What was all that shouting about?
0:17:54 > 0:17:57He's trying to tell me what I can wear and what I can't.
0:17:57 > 0:18:03- It's just BLEEP! stupid.- I could hear you shouting from downstairs.
0:18:03 > 0:18:04I weren't really shouting,
0:18:04 > 0:18:07it just pissed me off how he's telling me what to do.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10I might just stroll around naked and piss him off.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12- Is that where you hid all your baccy?- Yeah!
0:18:12 > 0:18:14I can't believe you did that.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16It's going to get all dry and horrible.
0:18:16 > 0:18:20- Hey.- All right.- What you got there?
0:18:20 > 0:18:23- A roll-up.- A roll-up what?
0:18:23 > 0:18:27I stole a tiny bit of baccy from earlier.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30- Hmm. Really?- Mmm.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Got any more in there?
0:18:32 > 0:18:33- No.- Let me check.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Come here.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50You're actually serious?
0:18:51 > 0:18:53I'm dead serious.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57When we sat and talked about the rules, those were the rules.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03HE FLUSHES TOILET
0:19:04 > 0:19:08I'm just going to tell you right off the bat now, I'm pretty disappointed.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11I'm very disappointed.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14Is this what your mom goes through?
0:19:16 > 0:19:20No, she's obviously not going to take my baccy and try and flush it down the toilet.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23- You probably wouldn't let her. - No, obviously not.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26You lied to me, you don't feel bad about that?
0:19:26 > 0:19:28- No.- Why not?- I don't know.
0:19:28 > 0:19:32So you think lying is good as long as you don't get caught?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Well, yeah.
0:19:34 > 0:19:35What kind of value system is that?
0:19:35 > 0:19:38You call yourself grown at 16.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41When you have to stoop to lying you reduce yourself to a child.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44So, now you've got two days without a cigarette.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48Get out, get out.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Whatever.
0:19:50 > 0:19:56You know, one of these days I would like you to translate to me what you mean by "whatever."
0:19:56 > 0:19:59When trust goes out the window,
0:19:59 > 0:20:03your respect level, in my eyes, goes down with it.
0:20:03 > 0:20:07And so for him to lie to me like that, straight to my face,
0:20:07 > 0:20:12OK, that hurt, and he's got to do a lot now to regain that trust.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16- All right.- What's happened now?
0:20:16 > 0:20:18- He flushed a heap of my- BLEEP!- baccy.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22- Do you think you're going to start pulling up your trousers now, or not?- I don't know.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25I don't actually care, I just don't like him getting his own way.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29- He seems to think he can get whatever he wants. He's being a- BLEEP!
0:20:29 > 0:20:30Fair enough.
0:20:34 > 0:20:35KNOCKING ON DOOR
0:20:35 > 0:20:40- Morning, time to rise and shine. - HE GRUNTS
0:20:40 > 0:20:43Sorry, you got to get up.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47Morning. It's about that time for us to start getting up and getting ready.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56I know I've just got to try and go along with this and do what they want,
0:20:56 > 0:20:59so that I can be able to smoke again.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11Alex, here's your chores.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14The bathroom upstairs, that's going to be your responsibility.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18Dina, your chore for today is you're going to sweep the entire tiled floor,
0:21:18 > 0:21:20then you're going to mop the kitchen area.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24- Think of it this way, many hands makes the load lighter. - Let's say that together.
0:21:24 > 0:21:28BOTH: Many hands makes the load lighter.
0:21:29 > 0:21:34Mr and Mrs Davis believe that to run an orderly home everyone must contribute.
0:21:34 > 0:21:38They want Dina and Alex to learn a lesson in being active members of the family.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42This is vile.
0:21:42 > 0:21:46If Mum asked me to clean the toilet I'd probably just tell her to f-BLEEP! off.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49This is, like, what the cleaner does.
0:21:49 > 0:21:53I'm having too much fun for words.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56What's up with your pants, man?
0:21:56 > 0:21:57- Aah!- There you go!
0:21:57 > 0:22:00That was a bit painful, that, man.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04For Mr Davis, once a rule is set it has to be enforced.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07You need to get that skirt changed right away so we can get moving.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11Can't I just stay...? There you go, it's longer now.
0:22:11 > 0:22:12Dina, what did I just say?
0:22:12 > 0:22:16- Yeah, but I've already done it. - So let's go do it, Dina, let's go do it.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18- But I've already done everything else.- No.
0:22:18 > 0:22:23Any hint of disobedience always results in immediate action.
0:22:23 > 0:22:29If you don't change, then for the rest of the day, until this time tomorrow you don't eat.
0:22:29 > 0:22:30No, I'm still going to eat.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34How you going to eat? We're not going to let you eat. You brought some food with you?
0:22:34 > 0:22:38- No, but you can't make me starve. - Yes, I can.- No, you can't.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Yes, I can. You want to try me?
0:22:40 > 0:22:45I can give an edict in this house right now that Dina will not eat until tomorrow.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47That's just a bit stupid.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50OK, well, it's stupid that you don't do what I tell you to do.
0:22:50 > 0:22:51It's only clothes. Who cares?
0:22:51 > 0:22:53It's only food. Who cares?
0:22:53 > 0:22:55- But that's different.- No, it's not.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58- Yeah, because...- You want to eat, you want something from me, right? - Yeah.
0:22:58 > 0:23:02- Right, and I want something from you. - But I've already done stuff for you.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05You haven't done what I'm just telling you now, to change that skirt and let's go.
0:23:05 > 0:23:09That was the past, this is the present, we're moving towards the future.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11You've done that, that's over with.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14Now, I'm asking you to change that skirt, and let's get going.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17- For God's sake, OK. - So you can eat the rest of the day.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19OK, I will change.
0:23:19 > 0:23:23You know what, I'll give you five minutes, it shouldn't take that long.
0:23:23 > 0:23:24OK, I'm going to change.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27OK, we'll be waiting. SHE SLAMS DOOR
0:23:27 > 0:23:30Er, excuse me, Dina.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31What did you just do?
0:23:31 > 0:23:35- I closed the door.- No, you didn't close it, what did you just do?
0:23:35 > 0:23:37- I just closed it. - You just didn't close it.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40Closing it is like this.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43- What did you do? - I closed it a bit harder.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- And that's called what? - Slamming doors.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48And isn't that one of our rules?
0:23:48 > 0:23:51- Yeah.- OK, let's go.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56Alex, Alex.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Alex!
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Hey, man, we're about to make another move,
0:24:03 > 0:24:07so if you can get back up and straighten thinks up here and we'll get moving, OK.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Why's there a sock here?
0:24:14 > 0:24:20Mr Davis has secured Alex and Dina positions at the local grocery store.
0:24:20 > 0:24:26He knows from experience that holding down a job helps teenagers become independent adults.
0:24:26 > 0:24:31Right now, we are about to go to a place that has hired you guys.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34I'll go there and introduce you to the individuals.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37- You got a question?- Can I smoke at work, do you think, maybe?
0:24:37 > 0:24:39No. Absolutely no smoking.
0:24:42 > 0:24:47Prisco's has been run by the same family for three generations.
0:24:47 > 0:24:51The store prides itself on its reputation for good service and family values.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53How you doing?
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Nice to see you.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Rob Prisco is the manager.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Rob Prisco, nice to meet you.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01- This is Dina.- Dina, nice to meet you.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05I understand you want to be grocers for a couple of days.
0:25:05 > 0:25:06Yeah.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09We'll get you something to wear and see how it goes.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11'I think they're going to do well.'
0:25:11 > 0:25:13I think we've done enough reinforcement to them and put enough
0:25:13 > 0:25:17fear of God in them that they are going at least try to be respectful.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25I'm supposed to be facing everything to the front
0:25:25 > 0:25:28and I was doing that, I was just looking at the drinks.
0:25:28 > 0:25:33Stacking shelves is a typical first job for many American teens.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Sorry, I'm getting really confused with all this.
0:25:41 > 0:25:46Working alongside Dina is 20-year-old Kyle.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50He's been working since he was 16 to help pay for his education.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55- Do you have a job on top of going to school?- I have a part-time job,
0:25:55 > 0:25:58but that's like a job I do when I want to.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00If I don't I go off to my mum and I'll ask her.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03That stopped working for me when I was about eight or ten.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07It still works for me, it's called charming them. Or I go to my grandparents.
0:26:07 > 0:26:11It's not just Dina's attitude to work that's completely foreign.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15If I can't get the money, then I take it off my mum.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19- I could never steal from my mother. - I don't see it as stealing, because I live with my mum.
0:26:19 > 0:26:25She knows me, so I'm not taking anything that's not mine.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28I don't want to have this conversation any more.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Change the subject.
0:26:31 > 0:26:35In a recession like this, I think it's bad that someone would be that selfish
0:26:35 > 0:26:39to steal from someone they love when they're going through hard times
0:26:39 > 0:26:43and busting themselves to make a living just to support them.
0:26:43 > 0:26:44That's not good.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50Alex, your trousers are down.
0:26:51 > 0:26:57So far, the teens' time in Chicago isn't having the desired effect.
0:26:57 > 0:27:01'Well, my plan at the moment is to kind of earn his trust again,'
0:27:01 > 0:27:05be really nice, and then as soon as I get my baccy refuse to get it back.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07This is cold! This is freezing.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10I don't cycle because I get her to drive me everywhere.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13'I never apologise to anyone. I don't like to apologise.'
0:27:13 > 0:27:16If I say sorry then people will think I'm giving in
0:27:16 > 0:27:19and I'm more vulnerable. I don't want anyone to think that.
0:27:19 > 0:27:23But the Davises still have time to impose their character.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26Oh, my legs are tired!
0:27:30 > 0:27:34DeWayne's church is located in Chicago's West Side,
0:27:34 > 0:27:40a predominantly African-American area of the inner city.
0:27:40 > 0:27:44The church's mission is to provide moral guidance for its teenage members.
0:27:44 > 0:27:51Today the British teens have been invited to a weekly discussion group by youth leaders Collis and Kevin.
0:27:51 > 0:27:55First of all, tell your new best friends what your names are.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58- I'm Dina.- Alex.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01Dina and Alex. OK, what are your thoughts in terms of respect?
0:28:01 > 0:28:06Are you respecting your parents, the whole thing. the floor is yours.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08I fight with my mum, I shout at my mum.
0:28:08 > 0:28:12- I don't like to listen to my mum. - How's that going to help you in the future?
0:28:12 > 0:28:16I'm listening, but I don't want to know it now. I only want to do it so I can stay happy.
0:28:16 > 0:28:21So, your happiness is based on you being selfish and disrespectful and arrogant.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24No, because I didn't ask to be my mum's child.
0:28:24 > 0:28:28So, she has to put up with everything I do because she put me in this world.
0:28:28 > 0:28:31So, really anything I do, she has to accept it.
0:28:31 > 0:28:34OK, what do you guys think of that?
0:28:34 > 0:28:37If you want to be an adult, then you should be treated
0:28:37 > 0:28:40like an adult and start doing your own things to fend for yourself.
0:28:40 > 0:28:45You live in the house with your mama, your mama owns you.
0:28:45 > 0:28:46LAUGHTER
0:28:46 > 0:28:49If you disrespect your mama, I think it's time to get out.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52LAUGHTER
0:28:52 > 0:28:57- Silence.- No comment. - OK, Alex, do you have a comment?
0:28:57 > 0:28:59I don't get along with my mum very well.
0:28:59 > 0:29:05So, like, I don't chat to her much, and I try to avoid her.
0:29:05 > 0:29:08- To avoid the disrespect, you just keep your space.- Yeah.
0:29:08 > 0:29:13Alex, throughout life, you'll encounter people you don't like, that you don't agree with
0:29:13 > 0:29:19and if your only resort is running away from the issues, you're going to be running for the rest of your life.
0:29:19 > 0:29:24So, you're going to have to face it, you may not like it, nor necessarily agree, Alex,
0:29:24 > 0:29:27but what they're saying - you just have to suck it up, man.
0:29:30 > 0:29:35I think they've taught the kids here to have to put up with everything their parents throw at them.
0:29:35 > 0:29:40They were told to suck it up, and do whatever your parents say. I couldn't do that at all.
0:29:42 > 0:29:47It's like we're the kids, we can't really help what we do, we're just learning and we're growing up.
0:29:47 > 0:29:51They should deal with the problems, and should expect that when you have a child, you get issues.
0:29:51 > 0:29:55She made a statement in the class "Hey, I need to live out all my
0:29:55 > 0:29:59"rebelliousness, I need to live out my disrespect, because I'm a child".
0:29:59 > 0:30:05I don't know what planet she's from, but that's just not how you operate in a structured society.
0:30:16 > 0:30:21Dear God, thank you for allowing us to sleep well last night and for waking us up for another day.
0:30:21 > 0:30:27At home in Bristol, Alex avoids spending time with his own family.
0:30:27 > 0:30:33In the God-fearing Davis household, he has no option but to join in.
0:30:33 > 0:30:38Your eggs are done and pancakes, so sit down and eat.
0:30:38 > 0:30:41I was wondering after breakfast, like have you thought about
0:30:41 > 0:30:44whether I can smoke or not? What's going on?
0:30:44 > 0:30:49- I have to say no, not today. - What, not at all today?
0:30:49 > 0:30:52- Not at all today. - But I put loads of effort in.
0:30:52 > 0:30:56Yeah, you did, but that was what we established the other day,
0:30:56 > 0:30:59when you broke the rule, when you lied to me, when you...
0:30:59 > 0:31:03- Just one then. - No, means none.
0:31:03 > 0:31:06As we say you, can choose to sin, but you have no control
0:31:06 > 0:31:09over the consequences and this is just one
0:31:09 > 0:31:12- of the consequences of your violation.- OK.- All right.
0:31:12 > 0:31:18DeWayne's uncompromising attitude to parenting stems from his own tough upbringing.
0:31:18 > 0:31:23What has shaped my parenting goes all the way back to when I was a kid.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26In the neighbourhood that I grew up,
0:31:26 > 0:31:30there was lots of crime, delinquency, lots of drugs.
0:31:30 > 0:31:33It was an impoverished area simply because
0:31:33 > 0:31:39blacks at the time didn't have really nice jobs to support their families.
0:31:39 > 0:31:43And, being one of the children of a single mum,
0:31:43 > 0:31:45I grew up on welfare.
0:31:45 > 0:31:53So, raising children of my own, I want to give them what I never had.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59Would you like me to take it to your car?
0:31:59 > 0:32:02Halfway through their time in Chicago,
0:32:02 > 0:32:05the teens are getting used to the daily grind.
0:32:05 > 0:32:09We got paid 89 dollars, 13 cents.
0:32:09 > 0:32:11At the end of their shift,
0:32:11 > 0:32:14Alex experiences a whole new sensation,
0:32:14 > 0:32:15his first ever pay cheque.
0:32:15 > 0:32:20I might keep this and email it to my mum, - "Yeah, I earned money".
0:32:20 > 0:32:24You should frame it. Because you never worked a day in your life.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27To give them a sense of how privileged they are back home,
0:32:27 > 0:32:31DeWayne has decided to take the teens to the area he grew up in.
0:32:31 > 0:32:36West Garfield Park is one of the poorest areas in Chicago.
0:32:36 > 0:32:40We have made it to my old stomping grounds, as we call it,
0:32:40 > 0:32:43the neighbourhood where I grew up as a teenager.
0:32:43 > 0:32:48In the 1970s, it was a tough, but functioning, working class neighbourhood.
0:32:48 > 0:32:53Today nearly half of its residents are long term unemployed.
0:32:53 > 0:32:56Look who's here!
0:32:56 > 0:32:57What's up, man?
0:32:59 > 0:33:05Hey, man! I know it's kind of surprising seeing me back here.
0:33:05 > 0:33:09He used to live right here about 20 years ago.
0:33:09 > 0:33:16- About 30 years ago, 4818, that's my old house.- Glad to see you.
0:33:16 > 0:33:21You too man, take care. We're coming up to my old house.
0:33:21 > 0:33:28We stayed on the second level. It was me, my mum and my other six siblings.
0:33:28 > 0:33:32- Oh, my God, six, seven of you. - Six. In a three bedroom home.
0:33:32 > 0:33:36Right here, used to be my best friend's home.
0:33:36 > 0:33:41We did all kinds of things. I took my first puff of a cigarette.
0:33:41 > 0:33:44I was 12 years old. That was when I started smoking.
0:33:44 > 0:33:48And then at 13, my friend introduced me to alcohol
0:33:48 > 0:33:53and we started drinking, and partying and just having fun at 13.
0:33:53 > 0:33:55What were you like at 16?
0:33:55 > 0:33:59By the time I was 16 I was hooked on marijuana.
0:33:59 > 0:34:04I was smoking a pack and a half a day. I was drinking alcohol,
0:34:04 > 0:34:08having lots of sex with different individuals,
0:34:08 > 0:34:13being very rebellious against my mother's rules.
0:34:13 > 0:34:16I was just having fun and I didn't care about anybody but me.
0:34:16 > 0:34:19Like you just met one of your old friends,
0:34:19 > 0:34:21is that nice to come back to it?
0:34:21 > 0:34:24Actually, Alex, no, because
0:34:24 > 0:34:31that guy I remember as being young, handsome, smart, sharp.
0:34:31 > 0:34:35Years later, I come...
0:34:35 > 0:34:38and...
0:34:38 > 0:34:46just to see somebody that I once played with... HIS VOICE BREAKS
0:34:46 > 0:34:49who's made decisions in life
0:34:49 > 0:34:52that got him looking like that, being like that.
0:34:52 > 0:34:56He's going nowhere, and there's a lot of my friends that are like that,
0:34:56 > 0:35:01and I'm grateful that I made some of the right decisions.
0:35:01 > 0:35:04To put me where I am,
0:35:04 > 0:35:08that I can be an example to you guys, because I made the right choices.
0:35:08 > 0:35:14A lot of my friends have either died from drugs,
0:35:14 > 0:35:18been shot and maimed.
0:35:18 > 0:35:20Erm...in jail
0:35:20 > 0:35:26and all the people... I've got vivid memories of
0:35:26 > 0:35:32just running around with these people and it hurts. HE SOBS
0:35:33 > 0:35:38I going to take you down here and let you see some other things here.
0:35:42 > 0:35:45Today it seems like I've seen the other side to drugs,
0:35:45 > 0:35:49what it does to people in the long term, rather than the short term.
0:35:49 > 0:35:53DeWayne's old friend, especially when we walked past him, seeing that is upsetting.
0:35:53 > 0:35:56I felt really bad for him, because I know if I came back
0:35:56 > 0:35:59to it and saw my friend like that, that would be the worst thing.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02What's going to make you so different in 30 years' time?
0:36:05 > 0:36:07I honestly don't know.
0:36:15 > 0:36:19Growing up, DeWayne hardly knew his father.
0:36:19 > 0:36:24Today he does all he can to be a constant presence in his daughters' lives.
0:36:24 > 0:36:27Every so often, I'd grab Lanessa or Latrice individually.
0:36:27 > 0:36:32I'd take them out on a daddy-daughter date, so I wanted to kind of get away with you this evening.
0:36:32 > 0:36:34I think you'll enjoy it.
0:36:34 > 0:36:37Tonight is the weekly choir practice.
0:36:37 > 0:36:44# Praise the Lord with me Praise the Lord with me
0:36:44 > 0:36:46# Come on, sing higher
0:36:46 > 0:36:49# Hallelujah... #
0:36:49 > 0:36:54Back home, Dina's dad left when she was two.
0:36:54 > 0:36:55Mum, I'm going out, OK?
0:36:55 > 0:36:58- No, where are you going? - I grew up without having a dad.
0:36:58 > 0:37:02I was always just raised by my mum and I never saw any differently.
0:37:02 > 0:37:07It never bothered me I didn't have a dad. I didn't really care too much.
0:37:07 > 0:37:13Me and her father split up, just after she was born and when she was ten he died.
0:37:13 > 0:37:17So, she's never actually had that kind of interaction.
0:37:17 > 0:37:19I said no and I mean no.
0:37:19 > 0:37:23I've always wondered what it'd be like to have a dad and if I'd be any different.
0:37:23 > 0:37:26But I've always just had my mum and so I can kind of control
0:37:26 > 0:37:30my mum a little bit, because there's only one person to focus on.
0:37:35 > 0:37:39I wrote a song for my daughters called Daddy's Little Girl.
0:37:39 > 0:37:42HE LAUGHS I can't remember it.
0:37:49 > 0:37:56# Little girl, you look so pretty in your pink
0:37:56 > 0:38:02# Little girl, you're the cutest, your daddy thinks
0:38:02 > 0:38:09# Little girl, as you grow throughout the years
0:38:09 > 0:38:14# You always will be daddy's little girl. #
0:38:19 > 0:38:22- That's so sweet.- Oh, thank you.
0:38:24 > 0:38:28I've always wondered what it's like to have a dad, and then when it's put in front of me
0:38:28 > 0:38:34- I kind of, yes, that is quite nice. I feel I'm missing out on something, something important.- Mm-hm.
0:38:34 > 0:38:37The greatest person in the world to any little girl is their daddy.
0:38:37 > 0:38:39Daddy's is the first Prince Charming.
0:38:39 > 0:38:44Daddy's there to pour love into her heart. If it's not there,
0:38:44 > 0:38:49- then it creates a big hole in the heart.- Yeah, if you don't have
0:38:49 > 0:38:53that love that you get from your dad, then you try to fill it with anything.
0:38:53 > 0:38:58I've tried that. When I go out I will go out and buy loads of stuff.
0:38:58 > 0:39:00I don't do it just because I enjoy doing it,
0:39:00 > 0:39:05I do it because it blocks out, it blocks out me thinking
0:39:05 > 0:39:10- about something I'm missing out on. I never realised what I was missing out on.- Wow.
0:39:27 > 0:39:33Living with the Davises, Alex is enjoying being involved with family life.
0:39:33 > 0:39:35You going to do the middle door as well.
0:39:36 > 0:39:40DeWayne's put some effort into making a good relationship with me.
0:39:40 > 0:39:42and because I've recognised how nice he's been to me,
0:39:42 > 0:39:45I find it hard to say no. Like if he's asked can you help out,
0:39:45 > 0:39:47since you've been living here. It's like, yeah, sure.
0:39:47 > 0:39:51Back home, Alex's difficult relationship with his mum
0:39:51 > 0:39:57causes multiple arguments. She's made contact with him hoping that things can improve.
0:39:57 > 0:40:01"Dear Alex. I hope this letter finds you well and you are enjoying your time in America.
0:40:01 > 0:40:04"I love you with all of my heart but as I have said, I don't always like you.
0:40:04 > 0:40:09"Your attitude to me and sometimes Mike, leaves us feeling used and getting nothing back.
0:40:09 > 0:40:13"You cannot even say hello or goodbye when you enter or leave our house".
0:40:13 > 0:40:18She's trying to blame me for everything. "You have become very self centred"
0:40:18 > 0:40:21Oh, really? "Only doing what you want to do.
0:40:21 > 0:40:24"I feel that I am losing you and I really want my son back.
0:40:24 > 0:40:28"The son who was happy, fun loving and caring.
0:40:28 > 0:40:33"I will always love you and hope that you will be able to love me back
0:40:33 > 0:40:37"and show me some respect. Lots of love. Mum".
0:40:37 > 0:40:42- That's a load of shit.- You got a chance to hear from Mum.- Yeah.
0:40:42 > 0:40:48- What do you think?- I was expecting a nice letter saying, oh, I miss you and everything.
0:40:48 > 0:40:53- It turned out to be a letter blaming me for everything.- Are you for real?
0:40:53 > 0:40:56- Yeah.- Wow. How's that make you feel?
0:40:56 > 0:41:01It's just made me completely change my mind. I don't even want to be friends with her right now.
0:41:01 > 0:41:06- This letter has just kind of ruined my experience. - Really? Let me ask you this.
0:41:06 > 0:41:11You're hurt, right? You were hurt when you came here. She is hurt.
0:41:11 > 0:41:14So, that's what you're feeling through her letter, not a dislike of you
0:41:14 > 0:41:19- but the hurt that has come through the relationship on both sides.- Yeah.
0:41:19 > 0:41:24So within her words is sprinkled a lot of her deepest heart.
0:41:24 > 0:41:31You CAN give her another chance by understanding. It's not all you,
0:41:31 > 0:41:35- it's Mum as well, does that make sense?- Yeah.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37We can pick this back up later if you want to.
0:41:37 > 0:41:41- I know that's just going to ruin the rest of your evening.- Yeah.
0:41:43 > 0:41:48In the Davis house, playing by the rules means you get treated like an adult.
0:41:48 > 0:41:55We're going to leave you guys here to be responsible, to do what you need to do by way of hanging together.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58I'm glad you can trust us, to leave us alone.
0:41:58 > 0:42:01Exactly and that's why we're doing this.
0:42:01 > 0:42:04We want you guys to feel like you're part of the family now.
0:42:04 > 0:42:08We can leave and you guys will be responsible with your behaviour.
0:42:10 > 0:42:13Alex and Dina as an addition to our family has gained some
0:42:13 > 0:42:18credibility in our eyes, where we feel we can step away for a few hours.
0:42:18 > 0:42:25Allow them to let their hair down and be comfortable, without having our adult parenting hovering over them.
0:42:25 > 0:42:30So, we're going to give them an opportunity to be trusted while we're away.
0:42:30 > 0:42:33It's a good test because the other kids will tell on them.
0:42:33 > 0:42:35THEY LAUGH
0:42:37 > 0:42:42In Bristol, Alex deals with his family problems, by simply doing his own thing.
0:42:42 > 0:42:47- Alex, what do you do in your life? - If it was a Friday, I'd drink in the morning.
0:42:47 > 0:42:52With no parents to keep an eye on him, he reverts to his bad old ways.
0:42:52 > 0:42:55- Anyway I'm going to go outside. - Why are going to go outside.
0:42:55 > 0:42:57Because I managed to scab that fag off that guy.
0:42:57 > 0:43:01I'm begging you, don't. If he finds out, you're going to get in trouble.
0:43:01 > 0:43:04- He won't find out. - I'm going down stairs.
0:43:11 > 0:43:15- Where are you going to put that cigarette out? - I'll walk over there.
0:43:15 > 0:43:17- Bye, have a nice night out there. Bye.- You too.
0:43:20 > 0:43:23I think he's kind of stupid, that he went out,
0:43:23 > 0:43:26because my dad would probably have given him one when he came back.
0:43:26 > 0:43:32Be like, "Oh, I can trust you while we're gone". But he decided to take his last one, and be stupid.
0:43:32 > 0:43:35I'm happy now, so I'm not worried.
0:43:35 > 0:43:39I'm not sure if I should be smoking here, because I'm not sure if that's
0:43:39 > 0:43:42disrespectful to him, so I'm going to walk over there.
0:43:44 > 0:43:49- Alex?- Yeah.- You either tell DeWayne yourself when he gets home and we'll let you in. Or we let you in and...
0:43:49 > 0:43:53- We'll tell.- And they will. - Why do you want to tell him so much?
0:43:53 > 0:43:59- Because he's going to find out anyway.- When I get in trouble he'll say, why didn't you tell me?
0:43:59 > 0:44:05- It's that you lied. That's why he gets mad. It's your life.- It is. People shouldn't get involved.
0:44:05 > 0:44:08Cos that always makes the person feel better!
0:44:12 > 0:44:17- We're home.- Just to say, before you do say anything...
0:44:17 > 0:44:21- No, say hi!- Hello.- Hi. - THEY LAUGH
0:44:21 > 0:44:24Just jump right into it.
0:44:24 > 0:44:26Who's eating again?
0:44:26 > 0:44:30I figured I'd tell you, because you prefer honesty.
0:44:30 > 0:44:32I did have the chance to smoke and I did take it.
0:44:32 > 0:44:35So, I just wanted to know what you thought of that.
0:44:35 > 0:44:37You say you had a chance to smoke?
0:44:37 > 0:44:39- Yeah and I took it.- Where did you get the cigarettes from?
0:44:39 > 0:44:43Outside the job place, there was a guy walking. I asked if I could have one.
0:44:43 > 0:44:46- You'd better be lying.- I'm not lying, seriously. I'm being honest.
0:44:46 > 0:44:49- Where are the rest of the cigarettes? - He only gave me one.
0:44:49 > 0:44:54- So, you just walked out the house and went and smoked a cigarette.- Yeah.
0:44:54 > 0:44:57Just totally in defiance of what was established.
0:44:57 > 0:45:00I don't think you can tell me not to smoke and I'll just do it.
0:45:00 > 0:45:03I'm not going to do everything you say. You've got to realise that.
0:45:03 > 0:45:06- OK.- I'm happy to abide by most of your rules just not that one.
0:45:06 > 0:45:10OK, fine. Come here. Let's go for a little walk.
0:45:13 > 0:45:18Since you won't abide by my rules, you stay out there until you decide to abide by them.
0:45:18 > 0:45:21I'll give you a few hours to think about it.
0:45:21 > 0:45:25Go smoke, do whatever you want to do, on your own time and on your own terms.
0:45:29 > 0:45:33I hope the temperature drops about another 20 degrees.
0:45:33 > 0:45:37Alex thinks that this is just about smoking, but it's more than that.
0:45:37 > 0:45:40He went against one of the rules, and we established that
0:45:40 > 0:45:45and we were growing in the trust and he decided to violate that, so that makes me angry.
0:45:46 > 0:45:51BLEEP! him, he's just too pathetic. BLEEP! it's cold.
0:45:58 > 0:46:04Alex's defiance is defeated by the freezing temperatures.
0:46:04 > 0:46:07He returns to the house looking for an instant reconciliation.
0:46:07 > 0:46:11You traded everything for that little one moment.
0:46:11 > 0:46:17You've got to think about things like that, because that one decision can have serious consequences.
0:46:17 > 0:46:22And that's what lessons like this are intended to teach you.
0:46:22 > 0:46:28You can choose the decision but you have no choice over the consequences.
0:46:28 > 0:46:31Come on in.
0:46:34 > 0:46:37Have a good night. See you early in the morning.
0:46:37 > 0:46:40- See you in the morning.- All right.
0:46:43 > 0:46:49With his own family, Alex's constant rule breaking has turned him into an outsider.
0:46:49 > 0:46:53I've kind of got used to not being a part of my family,
0:46:53 > 0:46:57not sharing things with them and not being like friends with my family.
0:46:57 > 0:47:01It's been like this for about three years, not really got on since then, really.
0:47:04 > 0:47:08Well, I think he just feels that we're so horrible and
0:47:08 > 0:47:13- such awful parents that he doesn't want to live with us, really.- Yeah.
0:47:14 > 0:47:17It does make you feel a bit lonely, but then how I see it is,
0:47:17 > 0:47:20I've got my friends there for me, I'm not really worried.
0:47:20 > 0:47:24I don't really feel I need a family looking out for me or anything.
0:47:27 > 0:47:30Hi, Jane, my name is Vanessa Davis.
0:47:30 > 0:47:33Oh, hi, Vanessa, thank you for ringing, it's really kind of you.
0:47:33 > 0:47:37The Davises believe that understanding Alex's relationship with his mum
0:47:37 > 0:47:43- could be the key to helping him. - I'm trying very hard to guide him in the right route, but sometimes
0:47:43 > 0:47:47I'm not being very successful, because it makes me angry and cross.
0:47:47 > 0:47:54- Mm-hm.- I love him dearly, I really do, and I keep questioning myself where I've gone wrong really.
0:47:54 > 0:47:56I think that's how I feel at the moment.
0:47:56 > 0:47:58But what about the relationship part,
0:47:58 > 0:48:03do you guys just talk about things that don't involve issues?
0:48:03 > 0:48:07I think we used to, but as Alex has got older,
0:48:07 > 0:48:12he's not wanted to do the family things with us,
0:48:12 > 0:48:15but it's actually getting him to do that type of thing.
0:48:15 > 0:48:21He actually isn't interested in us at the moment, he's more interested in his friends and his girlfriend.
0:48:21 > 0:48:25I think possibly we have ground our relationship down so that the only
0:48:25 > 0:48:29contact I have with Alex is around perhaps issues that we're having.
0:48:31 > 0:48:36I am going to speak with Alex about last night.
0:48:36 > 0:48:39The Davises know that if things are to improve at home
0:48:39 > 0:48:43Alex needs to understand the cost of his rebellious attitude.
0:48:43 > 0:48:50So, so far what are some of the things you learned about consequences?
0:48:50 > 0:48:53Obviously you said I couldn't smoke and I did.
0:48:53 > 0:48:55So, now I just can't smoke any more.
0:48:55 > 0:49:01So, from a consequence standpoint, do you see that if you don't manage yourself,
0:49:01 > 0:49:05- how it affects everything and everyone around you?- Yeah.
0:49:05 > 0:49:11I want you to also think about the things that you are learning through me here, through being in our home,
0:49:11 > 0:49:17see what way you can transfer that information into your own relationship with your mum at home.
0:49:17 > 0:49:24So that, at least from your end, you can make things better, because relationships is a two way street.
0:49:24 > 0:49:28It's her responsibility and your responsibility to make it work
0:49:28 > 0:49:32and you can't control her, but you can control you.
0:49:32 > 0:49:35You follow that?
0:49:35 > 0:49:40- Yeah.- What do you feel in my home, that you don't feel in your home?
0:49:40 > 0:49:44I just feel welcome. If I come to my house I just get like,
0:49:44 > 0:49:47I don't know, they look at me weirdly, they argue with me,
0:49:47 > 0:49:49I just don't feel like I'm wanted there at all.
0:49:49 > 0:49:54But when I come here, we get along quite well, so I felt quite welcome.
0:49:54 > 0:49:58Is it important for you to feel wanted at home, honestly?
0:50:00 > 0:50:03I don't know. I just stopped caring about these kind of things.
0:50:03 > 0:50:08Not your stop caring mind, I mean your desires mind, what you really desire.
0:50:08 > 0:50:11You're at the point where, you know what, "I hear what you're saying,
0:50:11 > 0:50:14"Mr Davis, I don't care, I don't want that no more."
0:50:14 > 0:50:19But deep down inside, if you could have it, what would you like?
0:50:19 > 0:50:22- I'd like a better relationship with my mum.- What would that look like?
0:50:22 > 0:50:25Maybe we could just like try being friends or something.
0:50:25 > 0:50:31- You want to be friends with her? - Yeah.- Go back to some happier times. - Mmm.
0:50:34 > 0:50:38Well, I hope and pray that that is exactly what you get, but that you would get more.
0:50:38 > 0:50:43That you would actually be able to at least accommodate her on several things
0:50:43 > 0:50:48and then explain to her where your heart really is without having to take it
0:50:48 > 0:50:52to drama-land. Let's make it back to the house here.
0:50:52 > 0:50:55The Davises' tough love approach to family relationships
0:50:55 > 0:50:59has forced Alex to confront his attitude to his own parents.
0:50:59 > 0:51:02It's helped me kind of understand a bit more
0:51:02 > 0:51:07about why my mum is how she is and maybe I am the one in the wrong.
0:51:07 > 0:51:13I'm going to try and make the first step towards letting me and my mum's relationship getting better.
0:51:13 > 0:51:17I'll try and be more grown-up about it and maybe,
0:51:17 > 0:51:21see what happens if I don't retaliate to the argument.
0:51:21 > 0:51:24Maybe I should be a bit more sympathetic towards her.
0:51:26 > 0:51:30After being away from home for nearly a week,
0:51:30 > 0:51:33Dina receives a letter from her mum.
0:51:33 > 0:51:38"Dear Didi, I miss you very much and the fact I have absolutely no contact with you, it's very hard.
0:51:38 > 0:51:42"You know how much I love you and if you doubt it any way, I mean I really love you.
0:51:42 > 0:51:45"As you get older you have to learn that life is not about
0:51:45 > 0:51:47"taking and taking, it's about learning to give and receive.
0:51:47 > 0:51:51"And I know you're growing up, but please slow down.
0:51:51 > 0:51:53"Life is a blessing and you shouldn't wish it away too quickly.
0:51:53 > 0:51:58"You're just 16, a beautiful young woman and you have your whole life ahead of you.
0:51:58 > 0:51:59"Enjoy being young for now.
0:51:59 > 0:52:04"The beauty of my life was finding a treasure like you, I sincerely want that back.
0:52:04 > 0:52:06"I love you very much, Mum".
0:52:08 > 0:52:10I'm feeling very sad right now.
0:52:11 > 0:52:15Because, I think, I never realised how much...
0:52:15 > 0:52:17I actually love her, probably.
0:52:18 > 0:52:22I never really see it, but not having her here like now,
0:52:22 > 0:52:25has made me see that I really do miss her,
0:52:25 > 0:52:28and that I do need her, and as soon as I see her,
0:52:28 > 0:52:30I just want to tell her I love her,
0:52:30 > 0:52:33and I'm sorry for everything I've done.
0:52:33 > 0:52:38I just want to be a better person to her, and show her each day, that I really do love her.
0:52:45 > 0:52:50Alex and Dina's time with the Davis family has come to an end.
0:52:52 > 0:52:56Dina wants to show DeWayne that she's learnt some genuine lessons.
0:52:56 > 0:53:02- Hey, what's up?- I just wanted to come and say to you sorry about the other day when I slammed the door
0:53:02 > 0:53:07in your face, and sorry that it's taken this long for me to apologise.
0:53:07 > 0:53:11Thank you so much for that, and I accept it 100 per cent. Come on.
0:53:16 > 0:53:19Before you guys go, I got a little surprise for you.
0:53:19 > 0:53:23I just want to induct you all into
0:53:23 > 0:53:27the Davis Hall of Fame, the family.
0:53:33 > 0:53:37Son, take care, man, I love you,
0:53:37 > 0:53:40always will.
0:53:40 > 0:53:43Daughter Dina. Going to miss you.
0:53:49 > 0:53:53DeWayne and Vanessa's family meant a hell of a lot to me,
0:53:53 > 0:53:57and I felt like I had a fresh start.
0:53:57 > 0:54:00'I've learnt that I need to stop being selfish.
0:54:00 > 0:54:04'I need to realise that I just can't have everything for myself.'
0:54:04 > 0:54:07DeWayne taught me a lot about that, I can't just have it all.
0:54:15 > 0:54:20I really missed her. Having no contact's been the hardest part.
0:54:20 > 0:54:22It's never happened before.
0:54:27 > 0:54:30I know that my behaviour was getting really bad.
0:54:30 > 0:54:34I just didn't want to listen to you, did what I want, said what I want.
0:54:34 > 0:54:37I think I should say sorry to you for everything,
0:54:37 > 0:54:42everything that I do, I'm sorry for all my bad behaviour.
0:54:42 > 0:54:47All of my mouthing off to you, my temper - I'm sorry for that.
0:54:47 > 0:54:50I think I'm just sorry mostly that I don't tell you anything any more.
0:54:58 > 0:55:01I'm a bit apprehensive about seeing him, however,
0:55:01 > 0:55:04I'm looking forward to seeing him, because I just love him to pieces.
0:55:06 > 0:55:09- Hello, have you had a nice time? - Yeah, it was all right.
0:55:13 > 0:55:16- Will you give me a cuddle?- Pardon? Yeah, sure.
0:55:19 > 0:55:23- So, you thought it was a good experience.- Yeah, it was really nice.- You enjoyed it?
0:55:23 > 0:55:28- Mm.- Good. Well, we've missed you here.- I didn't want to leave. - We've missed you here.
0:55:28 > 0:55:34- I actually got a job while I was there.- Wow, look at that.
0:55:34 > 0:55:37And you actually earned that money.
0:55:37 > 0:55:39- Yeah, yeah. - How fantastic is that, Alex?
0:55:39 > 0:55:43I never thought having a good family was important at all,
0:55:43 > 0:55:46but seeing how their family was, it made me really miss it,
0:55:46 > 0:55:49and that's what made me think I want another chance.
0:55:49 > 0:55:55I think that you've just shown how really nice and how grown up you can be.
0:55:55 > 0:55:58You make me very proud, Alexander. Thank you.
0:56:00 > 0:56:04Next time on the World's Strictest Parents...
0:56:04 > 0:56:09- My rudeness is unbelievably disgusting.- I'm going home!
0:56:09 > 0:56:12Catch up with teens from across the series.
0:56:12 > 0:56:15I want to get out of this shithole!
0:56:15 > 0:56:19When I realised they weren't going to send me home, I thought, "Oh, my God, what have I done?"
0:56:19 > 0:56:23And find out whether their experience changed their lives...
0:56:23 > 0:56:25I want to be a better dad and a better person.
0:56:25 > 0:56:31- ..or was swiftly forgotten. - I thought the whole family was just out of their mind.
0:56:41 > 0:56:45Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:56:45 > 0:56:49Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk