0:00:02 > 0:00:05Around the world, many parents raise their kids on a diet of strict discipline.
0:00:05 > 0:00:09It's our responsibility as parents to be in control of the music
0:00:09 > 0:00:14that they listen to, the movies they watch, and the friends they have.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16Rigid boundaries.
0:00:16 > 0:00:19Am I friends with my children? No.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21I'm not your friend, I'm your parent.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23And immediate consequences.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25My dad is really strict.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28Ooh, if you break the rules, he can be very scary.
0:00:30 > 0:00:35But can traditional parenting change the lives of rebellious British teenagers?
0:00:35 > 0:00:39I was brought here, on this earth, to party.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42She can be an absolute nightmare. It's awful.
0:00:42 > 0:00:48My lifestyle is playing Xbox, and getting hammered.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51I'm getting you!
0:00:51 > 0:00:53'I went to anger management.'
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Got kicked out of anger management, for being angry.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58'No-one can tell me what to do.'
0:00:58 > 0:01:02Not even the Queen of England can tell me what to do.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06He's slapped me, he's poked me, he's pushed me. He's done it all.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10I am what I am. If you don't like it, then jog on.
0:01:10 > 0:01:15To find out, two teens who have never met before will leave their families behind.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19- Maybe she'll come back and be nice. - Doubt it.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21And head off to the far corners of the world,
0:01:21 > 0:01:26where they will live according to strict rules imposed by new parents.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30You are not in the UK, you are in Barbados!
0:01:30 > 0:01:33They're the most awful people I've ever met in my whole life.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36If she wants to throw a hissy fit, she can have her hissy fit.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40I'm going home.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42What are you going to do? That's what I thought.
0:01:42 > 0:01:46This is our rule. If you're going to cop an attitude about it, forget it.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49- What's the point?- The point is it's a matter of trust.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52If this is how they are, I'm sorry for Britain.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08I live how I want to live. I party how I want to party.
0:02:11 > 0:02:12GLASS SMASHES
0:02:12 > 0:02:1517-year-old Nicki Stygall is out of control.
0:02:15 > 0:02:20Nicola is... an absolute nightmare child.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23She's uncontrollable,
0:02:23 > 0:02:25she doesn't do what she's told....
0:02:25 > 0:02:30If I was to tell Nicki that she could not go out, could not go partying, could not go drinking,
0:02:30 > 0:02:33she'd go, "Yeah, whatever", and walk out the door.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35- RAPS:- She's a nutter. She's a schizo. She's a psycho.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37If she switch, she can be a narky bitch.
0:02:37 > 0:02:38You can't control it when she loses it.
0:02:38 > 0:02:43Oh, my God, look who it is. Look who it is! That's the girl who went to Brighton College.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46'I'm worried about Nicki when she goes out drinking.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49'Her temper does flare up. And...'
0:02:49 > 0:02:51she does show a very ugly side.
0:02:51 > 0:02:56NICKI SHOUTS ABUSE
0:02:56 > 0:02:59'Nobody can control her. When she's angry, that's it.'
0:02:59 > 0:03:01You. I'm getting you.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07'Fighting ain't ladylike, but if someone pisses me off, I'm having them.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11'It doesn't matter what they've done or haven't done, I'm going for them.'
0:03:11 > 0:03:13She's gone.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17She's gone. Nicki, look at me. Look at me in the eye. She's gone.
0:03:17 > 0:03:18Yeah, I went to anger management.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Went to anger management
0:03:20 > 0:03:24and got kicked out of anger management for being angry.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25No, you're wrong.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27- No, I'm not.- Yes, you are.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30How am I wrong? You threatened to burn the house down...
0:03:30 > 0:03:34Nicki dropped out of school after being excluded for fighting.
0:03:34 > 0:03:39Mum Carol has struggled to raise her and sister Claire, who has learning difficulties.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43'You can't keep treating me the way you do. You treat me like dirt.'
0:03:43 > 0:03:46Yeah. Because you haven't got a backbone.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48No, I've got a heart condition.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50'I had a heart attack.'
0:03:50 > 0:03:53It was only a mild,
0:03:53 > 0:03:57if you can call it mild, heart attack.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00And I do believe that was brought on from all the stress.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04No, I don't think about what I've done to my mum, what stress I've put her under.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07I just don't think about it. I gave up caring a long time ago.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14I think with Nicki, she's got this big hard shell around her.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Nobody can break through that hard shell.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20I think she's frightened of getting hurt.
0:04:22 > 0:04:28I would just love Nicki to be that happy young girl that I had.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38For 18-year-old Essex girl Jerri McVeigh,
0:04:38 > 0:04:41- the only thing that matters is looking good.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Must be brown. I can't stand pale people who go out.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Oh, it gets on my nerves.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50'Her appearance is very important to her. And yet,'
0:04:50 > 0:04:53she won't listen to any advice.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55She's getting it wrong.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58The Tango orange bit, I'm talking about.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03In life, I just want to happen to come across a footballer,
0:05:03 > 0:05:07and have a Bentley and a Range Rover. I'd love that.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10Just go shopping, wake up, you know, "Here's £60,000 to go spend."
0:05:10 > 0:05:13You'd just go and spend it, wouldn't you? Going to Harrods and that.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15'I'm getting excited now!'
0:05:15 > 0:05:18You gotta love Jerri!
0:05:18 > 0:05:21She loves it! She loves it! Whoa!
0:05:21 > 0:05:27'I do think that Jerri is trying to live a celebrity lifestyle'
0:05:27 > 0:05:30before earning the right to do so.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Jerri left school with few qualifications.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37She's never had a job and funds her extravagant lifestyle
0:05:37 > 0:05:39by sponging money from her parents.
0:05:39 > 0:05:44Oh, behave! Look how many £20 notes you've got in your wallet!
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Dad, can I have an extra tenner? Please, Dad!
0:05:46 > 0:05:48- Yeah, yeah, all right.- Thanks.
0:05:48 > 0:05:53She knows that I'm a big softie. She knows she'll get what she wants
0:05:53 > 0:05:57because I'm just a walking wallet as far as she's concerned, I suppose.
0:05:57 > 0:05:58Thanks.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02'Unfortunately, Jerri lives in a little dream world, where money grows on trees.'
0:06:02 > 0:06:05And then when you say no, she can't understand why.
0:06:05 > 0:06:10I get something in me and go, "Ooh, but I want it",
0:06:10 > 0:06:13so I just go evil bitch mode.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16I think the times of seeing her head spin around on her shoulders,
0:06:16 > 0:06:21- and thinking she's the Exorcist child...- I'm the bitch.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24I'm terrible. Like, I am what I am. If you don't like it then jog on.
0:06:24 > 0:06:29'I think it's important that Jerri changes, and changes now,
0:06:29 > 0:06:34'and I think if she learns that you have to work hard,'
0:06:34 > 0:06:37you know, you reap what you sow,
0:06:37 > 0:06:40I think it would make her a better person.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48In a last-ditch attempt to turn their lives around,
0:06:48 > 0:06:52both families are sending their disobedient daughters
0:06:52 > 0:06:55to live with new parents on the far side of the world.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58- Love you.- Love you.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00No acting up.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07'I think this experience is going to be very important for Jerri'
0:07:07 > 0:07:12because I think she's basically at the Last Chance Saloon. She really needs to sort herself out.
0:07:12 > 0:07:16This experience is... This is it.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Thank you.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Don't give them too much grief.
0:07:22 > 0:07:28Try and behave yourself and just don't embarrass anyone!
0:07:29 > 0:07:31See you later.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34'I would like Nicki to try and sort out her anger,'
0:07:34 > 0:07:38so I do need her to change dramatically, really,
0:07:38 > 0:07:42and hopefully when she come back, she'll be a better person.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- Hello. - Hello, I'm Jerri. What's your name?
0:07:45 > 0:07:47- Nicki.- You all right?
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Yeah. I'm so nervous. Are you?
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- You know you're only allowed to take 20 kilograms?- No.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Ha! You're going to have to take stuff out.
0:07:58 > 0:08:03The girls are heading 5,000 miles away to Sri Lanka, an island off the coast of India.
0:08:03 > 0:08:08They will be staying with the DeZylvas, a Buddhist family
0:08:08 > 0:08:13who have raised their children to be selfless and community-minded.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15'I think we are strong parents'
0:08:15 > 0:08:18because our children know what is expected of them.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Pass the salad, please.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24Discipline is not for the sake of disciplining or to control somebody.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27We have boundaries and lines and they need to know that.
0:08:27 > 0:08:32Dad Brindley is the chief executive of a multi-million pound finance company,
0:08:32 > 0:08:37and mum Mandy works in advertising. They are parents to four high-achieving children.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41They're strict, and I think all parents should be strict.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43You need those boundaries.
0:08:43 > 0:08:48If they are not there, you can get into bad company. You can go the wrong way.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52As long as you do what you're told, and do what you're supposed to do,
0:08:52 > 0:08:54then they are OK with it.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Despite living in a spacious house with three domestic servants,
0:08:57 > 0:09:03the family live a modest life, according to simple Buddhist principles.
0:09:03 > 0:09:08Their children are not allowed mobile phones, computer games, or pocket money.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Of course it is important not to spoil your children,
0:09:11 > 0:09:14because I think that from there stems all evil,
0:09:14 > 0:09:19because in the end, society has to pay for it.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Some would see us as very strict,
0:09:21 > 0:09:25but I think we try our best to be good parents,
0:09:25 > 0:09:29and only time will show whether what we've done is right or wrong.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36After a 12-hour flight,
0:09:36 > 0:09:40the British girls have arrived in Sri Lanka's main city of Colombo.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47The place is just absolutely shit.
0:09:47 > 0:09:52It's like, just, I couldn't live here, could not live here.
0:09:52 > 0:09:57- I haven't seen one Merc. - I haven't seen one Golf GTi!
0:09:57 > 0:09:58It's terrible.
0:09:58 > 0:10:02- Fashion - what fashion? - There is no fashion.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06Almost a quarter of the population live below the poverty line.
0:10:06 > 0:10:11And more than three million people survive on less than 70p a day.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16It's poor, it's poor, isn't it? Don't you think?
0:10:17 > 0:10:22We is in Sri Lankan ghetto, with all the ghetto people.
0:10:22 > 0:10:27I'm a bit apprehensive because I don't know what I'm in for.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31A little bit tense, these last few minutes, waiting for them.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Just hope they'll be here soon.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35How bad can it be?
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Oh, I'm nervous!
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Oh, my God, I can see 'em.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42I can see 'em! Oh, no!
0:10:42 > 0:10:45- Shit.- Oh, no.- They look well strict.
0:10:52 > 0:10:53- Hiya.- Hi.- Hello.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56- Welcome.- Welcome.- Thank you.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59- I'm Brindley.- Hello, I'm Jerri. - Your father for the next week.- OK.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03- Hello.- And this is Manoja. - Hello, I'm Mandy.- Hello.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06- I didn't get your name again? - It's Jerri. Yeah.
0:11:06 > 0:11:12- As in Tom and Jerry, you know? Yeah?!- OK.- Shall we walk in?
0:11:12 > 0:11:15For the next eight days, Nicki and Jerri will live by
0:11:15 > 0:11:19the same rules and values as the DeZylvas' own kids.
0:11:19 > 0:11:20Meet our family.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24This is Nicki, and this is Jerri.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27- Hello.- And this is my family.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31Akvan, he's 24 years old, he's doing a masters in economics.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35Tash is number two, she's 22 years old.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37And she's doing her finals in her LLB exam,
0:11:37 > 0:11:39external degree from the University of London.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too.
0:11:42 > 0:11:46Ayudhya, his is number three - she's doing her A-levels next year.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47She's 18 years old.
0:11:47 > 0:11:5018 years old, still in school.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52You're a busy bunch, aren't you?!
0:11:52 > 0:11:54She's 13-plus.
0:11:54 > 0:11:59- Ah!- She's Samaakhya, and the naughty one.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Oh, are you? You're in our game, then!
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Shall I show you round the house?
0:12:05 > 0:12:10This is the kitchen, and this is where we normally have our meals, as a family.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14This is actually a spare room,
0:12:14 > 0:12:17so the children have their school things, desks...
0:12:17 > 0:12:24Our kids don't have TV. OK? There is no TV generally for the children.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26EastEnders is off the cards!
0:12:26 > 0:12:29We are Buddhist.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32- Buddhist?- Buddhist. We follow Buddhism.- Yeah...
0:12:32 > 0:12:35It's what we call a way of life.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38- So we don't have to pray? - No, you don't have to pray.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42And this is the girls' room.
0:12:42 > 0:12:47One of you can sleep here, and one of you can sleep there.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49So, that is our home.
0:12:49 > 0:12:54- Which is your home now. OK?- Yeah.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- Not happy with that. No- BLEEP- TV.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06I don't know how they can live like this. In this house. There's no...
0:13:06 > 0:13:11Look, the fans, but I thought they were meant to have air-conditioning.
0:13:11 > 0:13:16The kitchen, like, proper stinks. As soon as we walked in, I was like...
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Yeah, cos that's that curry, isn't it?
0:13:18 > 0:13:22- Exactly, so if you don't like the smell of it... - The same smell of curry every day.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24It's disgusting.
0:13:24 > 0:13:29- And they're so... And have you heard all their, like what they...? Their success?- Yeah.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31I haven't got none of that.
0:13:31 > 0:13:32I've got a beautician thing, that's it.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35At least we don't have to pray.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37- Yeah, I'm glad we don't have to pray.- I wouldn't pray. Wouldn't.
0:13:37 > 0:13:42I thought a Buddha was one of them things that you rub their belly, you know? Them lucky things.
0:13:42 > 0:13:46I reckon the mother is the hardest one, and she will knuckle down hard.
0:13:46 > 0:13:51- Listen, she wears the trousers in this house - you can see it straightaway.- Yeah.
0:13:53 > 0:13:59The girls have arrived at the start of the monsoon season, and the rains have just hit Colombo.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Nicki and Jerri, please come in.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Before they are fully accepted into the family,
0:14:05 > 0:14:11Mandy and Brindley want the British girls to know exactly what's expected of them during their stay.
0:14:11 > 0:14:17I've already welcomed you - in my heart, I have two more daughters. And that's exciting for me.
0:14:17 > 0:14:22I just want you to give a chance for me to be a father for two more daughters,
0:14:22 > 0:14:27and try and live within this home that we are living in.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30We are a Buddhist family,
0:14:30 > 0:14:33and we believe we all have a responsibility
0:14:33 > 0:14:36to make the world a better place.
0:14:36 > 0:14:41We insist on politeness and respect at all times to everyone.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44We will not tolerate smoking in our home.
0:14:44 > 0:14:51But, like, if we do say to you, like, out of politeness, like, "Can we go out for five minutes, please,"
0:14:51 > 0:14:54and it's not in your property, then can we smoke?
0:14:54 > 0:14:56My daughter will not smoke.
0:14:56 > 0:15:01- No, I know, but we're not doing it in front of your children. - And you're my daughter.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Yeah, I know, but, I'm going to smoke, I've told you that I'm going to smoke.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07I know that, but let's, let's give it a chance.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11We do not buy our children birthday presents,
0:15:11 > 0:15:14because we do not believe in materialism.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17And no make-up is permitted.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20No, I'm not happy with that.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24It might look unreasonable to you, because this is something new.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27- Strange to you.- Something strange, but we have here...
0:15:27 > 0:15:32- THUNDER CRASHES - What was that?- That's thunder.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36- I don't like thunderstorms at all. - And you've come into the monsoon!
0:15:43 > 0:15:49The Sri Lankan monsoon lasts around a month, and brings heavy rain and thunderstorms across the island.
0:15:49 > 0:15:53But after listening to the rules, the weather is the last thing on Nicki's mind.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00No make-up, no fags, no TV.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Ridiculous.
0:16:03 > 0:16:09By the end of the week, I reckon I'll be like... THUNDER CRASHES
0:16:11 > 0:16:13By the end of the week...
0:16:13 > 0:16:17I'm going to snap. THUNDER CRASHES
0:16:19 > 0:16:22It's not just Nicki who's unhappy about the rules.
0:16:22 > 0:16:23Jerri is also a smoker,
0:16:23 > 0:16:27and both girls are demanding the right to have a cigarette.
0:16:27 > 0:16:31- I'm just going for a cigarette. - Don't break the fast I have.
0:16:31 > 0:16:36- No, please don't, we really need to have...- Yeah, we'll be back in in five minutes, not even.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40- They want to go and smoke. - So can I see?
0:16:40 > 0:16:44No, nothing to see, it's not something great.
0:16:46 > 0:16:51- Please give me a chance. - Can we just finish these? Seriously.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53No, no. Come, be my daughter.
0:16:58 > 0:17:03If our children feel that we have no strength to
0:17:03 > 0:17:07stand up for what we think is right, we are in deep trouble.
0:17:07 > 0:17:08So we have to put our foot down.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12Before the day is over, we have to stop the cigarettes.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14- Can I come in?- Yeah.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20- First, you have to give your cigarettes to us.- No.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- Bollocks to it, no- BLEEP- way. If I pay for them...
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- Please mind your language, Nicki. - Yeah, but you're winding me up.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27To me, you're my two daughters.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- But the thing is, if you were my mum, I'd tell you to- BLEEP- off.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32We don't tolerate that kind of language.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34- But that's what I'm telling you. - Please.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38You have to live in this home with these rules. The choice is yours.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42In this house, no child smokes, full stop.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45You abide by the rules, right?
0:17:45 > 0:17:47I'm not giving up my fags.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51Then, you cannot be my daughter, then that means this programme is over.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Fine.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Can I just go and talk to Nicki... please?
0:17:58 > 0:18:03- You can speak to Nicki, but I just suggested you don't smoke.- Yes.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Oh!
0:18:06 > 0:18:10My children have to know that we mean what we mean.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15And just because two kids have come and said they cannot give up,
0:18:15 > 0:18:21and spoken in the language that my children would not speak, that we back down.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25I just want to compromise, that's what I want.
0:18:25 > 0:18:31I said I'd rather just be able to just at least have a puff a day on a cigarette, you know?
0:18:31 > 0:18:35Because we are throwing away a big opportunity, you know, if we want to carry on doing this.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Even if we smoke two cigarettes a day...
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Nick, I think we should go and talk to him.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45We've come up with an idea.
0:18:45 > 0:18:50We've decided that we'll only smoke two cigarettes a day.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Now, shall I tell you what I think?
0:18:52 > 0:18:55You hand over your cigarettes to us,
0:18:55 > 0:18:58and we'll give you the two cigarettes for the day.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01OK, Jerri? Nicki?
0:19:01 > 0:19:03OK.
0:19:03 > 0:19:04I'm happy.
0:19:07 > 0:19:08Thank you.
0:19:08 > 0:19:13Jerri, you know what I would have done with my daughters, if we had a confrontation?
0:19:13 > 0:19:15- What?- Given them a hug.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18- Oh, do you want to give me a hug? - Yes.
0:19:21 > 0:19:22Bless you.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25While the girls are pleased with the compromise,
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Mandy is dismayed by their attitude.
0:19:28 > 0:19:32I'm just shocked at the way they behave.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35I'm appalled, actually.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39The fact that they cannot respect somebody else's opinion,
0:19:39 > 0:19:43and their sense of values, is absolutely shocking.
0:20:00 > 0:20:05Overnight, the monsoon has caused chaos and flooding throughout Sri Lanka.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08200,000 people have been made homeless,
0:20:08 > 0:20:11and parts of the capital are still under water.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14I thought I was going to get a bit of a tan at least.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17But hopefully it might brighten up,
0:20:17 > 0:20:22and then we can arrange a cheeky beach appointment.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25This kind of rain can last from a week to two weeks.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Doesn't your house get flooded?
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Of course our house gets flooded.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35Because it's nearly flooding now.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38For Buddhists, doing things for people in need is a way of life.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42And with the monsoon causing devastation, Mandy wants the girls
0:20:42 > 0:20:46to help her prepare food parcels for the city's homeless.
0:20:46 > 0:20:50- Are we making this to give to the...people?- Yes,
0:20:50 > 0:20:52people who have less than us.
0:20:52 > 0:20:57- Oh, OK.- Who will now most probably have not anywhere to stay because of the rain.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Because giving is part of our Buddhism.
0:21:00 > 0:21:07- Buddhism has three basic things that we practise - giving...- Taking?
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Not taking, taking is something we don't do.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14'I hope they experience the joy'
0:21:14 > 0:21:17and the happiness people get by receiving.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21Maybe it will move them to do something.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24But the only thing Nicki's been moved to do
0:21:24 > 0:21:27is to down tools and go back to bed.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Nicki... Nicki...
0:21:33 > 0:21:37Nicki, would you like to come and cook something?
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Jerri has already cooked the vegetables.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41She's giving me a headache.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43- I'm giving you a headache?- Yeah.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47Please get up now and come, then you won't get a headache. Come on.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49- No.- You're going to stay here?
0:21:49 > 0:21:53Yeah, I'm going to stay here. I don't feel well, I'm not coming near any food.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57- I'm sure you are the loser for it. - No, you're the loser.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00Shut up, go away, you're giving me a headache.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03I don't know whether she's really sick, but I really don't think so.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06I think she wants a bit of attention.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Nicki just is looking for some attention.
0:22:09 > 0:22:14I don't have the time to be giving it to her, because we need to move on.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19At home, Jerri does nothing for other people,
0:22:19 > 0:22:21and she doesn't believe in giving to the poor.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24When I see people begging on the street,
0:22:24 > 0:22:28I just assume that they're just druggies, innit, so I just ignore 'em.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32Like, even, the ones sitting at Romford station and that.
0:22:32 > 0:22:36Sitting there drinking their beer, asking for money.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38I think, no, go away, you're a tramp.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Mandy has brought Jerri to a spot downtown,
0:22:48 > 0:22:52where the homeless gather to beg for food.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Just take a packet and give him...
0:23:02 > 0:23:04No, no, take it, take it.
0:23:09 > 0:23:10- OK.- Ugh!
0:23:13 > 0:23:16He's taking two!
0:23:16 > 0:23:17OK...
0:23:17 > 0:23:19SHE SHOUTS
0:23:22 > 0:23:27- I don't want to be here no more. - You get in.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30I think I want to go home. That's the truth, I want to go home.
0:23:30 > 0:23:35And I want all these people to stop looking at me, the tramps. Oh!
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Why are you upset?
0:23:39 > 0:23:43I felt like there was just these animals just trying...
0:23:43 > 0:23:45I don't know, I didn't like it at all.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Maybe hasn't eaten for four days, we don't know.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51But when we give, we have to give unconditionally.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53So why don't they go and get jobs?
0:23:53 > 0:23:57Because there may be no jobs for them, that's why there's unemployment.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Everyone can get a job, can't they, everyone can.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Maybe it's not for us to judge why they don't get a...
0:24:02 > 0:24:05I know that you might not judge, but I just think,
0:24:05 > 0:24:08if they cannot be bothered to go out and get a job, and do better for themselves,
0:24:08 > 0:24:12then I think, well, bollocks, I just think, no,
0:24:12 > 0:24:16I just think poncing off of people's trampy, I really do.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20But if I can help him a little by giving something, that is what I'll do.
0:24:35 > 0:24:39The DeZylva family believe in rising early.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43Every day, Brindley wakes his kids with a mug of hot milk.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47But Nicki's not a morning person.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49No, take it away!
0:24:49 > 0:24:54Please stop your mind games, trying to talk me around everything, it won't work.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Now, the language is a problem.
0:24:57 > 0:25:01Seriously, you're annoying me, seriously. You're giving me a serious headache.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03You're screaming at me.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06- You understand?- Don't scream at you?
0:25:06 > 0:25:09- Yes, you do not- ... You're in my ear at five o'clock in the morning!
0:25:09 > 0:25:12I don't care about what you say.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15- I want you to tell me... - I don't care what YOU say!
0:25:15 > 0:25:19You better care because you're in this house. That's how it goes here.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21Yeah, whatever. I'm telling you to go away now.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24Not until you tell me that you heard me.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27Oh my God, will you go away if I tell you I won't use bad language?
0:25:27 > 0:25:30- Yes.- I won't use bad language! Now can you go away?
0:25:30 > 0:25:33I told you this attitude must stop.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36No, you told me the swearing had to stop. Not the attitude! Oh my God!
0:25:36 > 0:25:39Are you on smack or something? Can't figure out what you say most of the time.
0:25:39 > 0:25:43I think you have a memory lapse. Shall we go through the rules?
0:25:43 > 0:25:46- You have a memory lapse. - Nicki...- Will you move?!
0:25:46 > 0:25:48No, sorry.
0:25:52 > 0:25:53Nicki?
0:25:59 > 0:26:03- Nicki?- Now will you move?! Don't grab me! No, go away.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Nicki, I won't touch you.
0:26:07 > 0:26:12This has to stop and I mean it. If she cannot change her attitude,
0:26:12 > 0:26:14she doesn't come back into this house.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16You understand? OK.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23But for someone as aggressive as Nicki,
0:26:23 > 0:26:26changing her attitude may not be easy.
0:26:26 > 0:26:31I'm trying to keep control of my anger, but sometimes I just...
0:26:31 > 0:26:33I just keep blowing up.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37I'd like to be more friendly and actually give people a chance
0:26:37 > 0:26:41but I find that very hard, to give people a chance, new people.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43I don't give a chance.
0:26:43 > 0:26:47I wouldn't like to be angry all the time because at home I'm quite angry,
0:26:47 > 0:26:51most of the time I'm angry and I'm not really that happy.
0:26:54 > 0:26:58After Jerri's extreme reaction to the jobless street beggars,
0:26:58 > 0:27:02Mandy wants the girls to see what life is like for working Sri Lankans.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05She's arranged for them to do a day's work
0:27:05 > 0:27:08at a rural cinnamon plantation.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Nicki and Jerri, you're going outdoors
0:27:10 > 0:27:14and even your shoes I recommend that you wear,
0:27:14 > 0:27:16kind of closed shoes, not flip-flops.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18Are we getting paid for it?
0:27:18 > 0:27:21No, you won't be getting paid for it,
0:27:21 > 0:27:24but it's just a sample of what the work is like.
0:27:24 > 0:27:29Back home in Britain, neither of the girls has ever managed to hold down a full-time job.
0:27:29 > 0:27:34I did a little paper round when I was younger because everybody does, don't they?
0:27:34 > 0:27:39I've never worked and had one of them things, is it a P45?
0:27:39 > 0:27:40Never had one of them.
0:27:40 > 0:27:44Human beings are made to do something.
0:27:44 > 0:27:48You're not made to just sit on a branch and a chirp like a bird.
0:27:48 > 0:27:52You've been given a brain and they're meant to use it
0:27:52 > 0:27:55so I hope they see a different kind of life
0:27:55 > 0:27:59and a different sense of values, maybe.
0:28:04 > 0:28:08The monsoon has created even worse devastation in the countryside.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14I can't be working in that!
0:28:14 > 0:28:17If it's like this deep, I'm not getting out of the car, no way.
0:28:17 > 0:28:22No, I'm not. I don't want my feet getting rabies.
0:28:23 > 0:28:26Sri Lanka produces 90% of the world's cinnamon.
0:28:26 > 0:28:31The industry provides a vital income for thousands of the island's poor.
0:28:31 > 0:28:35The girls will be working for Aravinda Primal,
0:28:35 > 0:28:39who runs a large plantation deep in the rainforest.
0:28:39 > 0:28:42- Hi, I'm Primal.- Hello.
0:28:42 > 0:28:45- I'm Primal. You are? Can you introduce?- Nicki.
0:28:45 > 0:28:47I'm Jerri and this is Nicki.
0:28:47 > 0:28:53- So I will take you to the field and show you how to...- To the field?
0:28:53 > 0:28:55- Yes.- Field?- Yes.- We're in a field?
0:28:55 > 0:28:57That is a cinnamon field.
0:28:57 > 0:29:00- I haven't got shoes on properly. - No problem. It's all right.
0:29:00 > 0:29:02RAIN BATTERS
0:29:02 > 0:29:06- SQUEALS - There's mud in my feet!
0:29:06 > 0:29:10- Can you hear the rain? - Yes, I can feel it.
0:29:10 > 0:29:14- Oh, no!- BLEEP- sake!
0:29:14 > 0:29:16It's all in my shoes!
0:29:16 > 0:29:19- No way of standing. Careful. - I don't want to do this.
0:29:19 > 0:29:21Bollocks. No way, look.
0:29:21 > 0:29:25I'm not putting my feet in that wet, no way. I'm going back. No way.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34- Jerri?- I'm not doing it. - You have to.
0:29:34 > 0:29:38There's no way on this earth I am going down there. You're not even wearing shoes!
0:29:38 > 0:29:43- I'm not wearing shoes. - Yes, you're not! I'm wearing shoes! - You can remove your shoes and come.
0:29:43 > 0:29:47- I don't want to!- You can come, no problem. There is no...
0:29:47 > 0:29:50No, I don't want to do it. No! My shoes are going to get wet.
0:29:50 > 0:29:53I don't want to do it. I'm going back to the van.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55You have to come.
0:29:55 > 0:29:58- Jerri!- No.- You have to come. - I don't want to.
0:29:58 > 0:30:00I think I'll join you on that one, Jerri.
0:30:04 > 0:30:06Sit in here till we go home. No way.
0:30:10 > 0:30:13Why is he still coming like I want to do it or something?
0:30:13 > 0:30:14I'll give you slippers.
0:30:14 > 0:30:18I'm not being funny but if she doesn't want to wear them shoes that cover her feet...
0:30:18 > 0:30:20I don't want to wear them.
0:30:20 > 0:30:22I don't want nothing like...
0:30:22 > 0:30:26I just don't want to walk in the mud. I don't want to be here.
0:30:26 > 0:30:29Look how much I'm sweating, it's getting on my nerves.
0:30:31 > 0:30:32- BLEEP- sake!
0:30:32 > 0:30:34HE SIGHS
0:30:59 > 0:31:04Half an hour later, the girls finally agree to do some work -
0:31:04 > 0:31:07but only as long as it's inside.
0:31:07 > 0:31:12These people go to the field and cut the cinnamon.
0:31:12 > 0:31:15And then you scrape the outer bark
0:31:15 > 0:31:18and with a small knife, take the outer bark.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21- How old is she?- 67.
0:31:21 > 0:31:23How many hours do they work?
0:31:23 > 0:31:28They start at about 6 o'clock in the morning.
0:31:28 > 0:31:33Sometimes they go till 11 or 12 in the night.
0:31:38 > 0:31:39And they are paid.
0:31:39 > 0:31:43- I know they're paid, why do they do so many hours?- That's the job.
0:31:43 > 0:31:49That's horrible, seeing an old woman sitting there like that and working.
0:31:49 > 0:31:52Sometimes she don't want to carve today.
0:31:52 > 0:31:57There are a lot of people in the world like this.
0:31:57 > 0:32:00We've got to take off the green stuff, yes?
0:32:00 > 0:32:03That's right. Yes.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06That's good then. As you're turning?
0:32:06 > 0:32:10Cinnamon is a spice used to add flavour to food.
0:32:10 > 0:32:14It's produced by stripping and then drying the bark from cinnamon trees.
0:32:14 > 0:32:20Never going to... look at a smelly cinnamon stick
0:32:20 > 0:32:22ever again in the same way.
0:32:22 > 0:32:23OK. I'll give it another go.
0:32:23 > 0:32:30It ain't easy. It looks easy but it's not, it takes a lot of effort.
0:32:30 > 0:32:35Cinnamon workers only earn about £15 a week.
0:32:35 > 0:32:39Would you like not to work?
0:32:39 > 0:32:41Would she like not to work?
0:32:41 > 0:32:43HE TRANSLATES
0:32:44 > 0:32:47She likes, but when she doesn't she can't live.
0:32:47 > 0:32:54Tell her she should get her children to go and get a job.
0:32:54 > 0:32:57She says that she's lazy to be at home.
0:32:57 > 0:33:02If my mum was your age and she was working in these places, I'd come and work in one of these for my mum.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04- Yes.- I would.
0:33:06 > 0:33:09I feel sorry for them. She looks knackered, like...
0:33:09 > 0:33:12Six o'clock in the morning till like 11 or 12 at night...
0:33:12 > 0:33:15That, it's ridiculous. And now I wanted to cry.
0:33:15 > 0:33:17she proper broke my heart and that.
0:33:17 > 0:33:21I think in myself today I found I can actually care for someone
0:33:21 > 0:33:24that I don't know, and that's a lot for me because
0:33:24 > 0:33:28I don't give no-one a chance. For some reason this trip has...
0:33:28 > 0:33:31made by soft side come out and I'm not used to it,
0:33:31 > 0:33:35it's like freaking me out at the moment.
0:33:35 > 0:33:36- Bye.- Bye.
0:33:42 > 0:33:46After their argument earlier in the day, Brindley wants to talk to Nicki
0:33:46 > 0:33:48about her aggressive behaviour.
0:33:48 > 0:33:53I'm not scared for myself, I'm scared for people.
0:33:53 > 0:33:55If you get angry what, how will you...?
0:33:55 > 0:33:58I'll probably smack you in the face or head butt you.
0:33:58 > 0:34:00Do you know what I mean?
0:34:00 > 0:34:02You wouldn't be the first. I'd just go for you.
0:34:02 > 0:34:05- That's what comes naturally? - That's what comes naturally.
0:34:05 > 0:34:09I'd probably stab you in the eye with my high heels or something.
0:34:09 > 0:34:10I can't control it.
0:34:10 > 0:34:13- Sometimes take a deep breath? - No, I've tried that.
0:34:13 > 0:34:16When I had anger management, some woman had puppets
0:34:16 > 0:34:19and I smacked her with one of the puppets because...
0:34:19 > 0:34:23Really, that's not going to work for me, puppets.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26Her anger is not something that just comes naturally,
0:34:26 > 0:34:28it's something she has built
0:34:28 > 0:34:32as a wall to hide behind. When you're insecure you tend to
0:34:32 > 0:34:38use anger as a barrier to protect yourself
0:34:38 > 0:34:41from what you were scared of or what you fear.
0:34:53 > 0:34:56The British teens are halfway through their week
0:34:56 > 0:34:58with the DeZylva family.
0:34:58 > 0:35:01Mandy thinks Jerri's attitude to helping others
0:35:01 > 0:35:02still needs to change.
0:35:02 > 0:35:07She's found her some voluntary work at a local care home.
0:35:07 > 0:35:10I've arranged, Jerri,
0:35:10 > 0:35:17for you to go to a place where you will be able to make use
0:35:17 > 0:35:21of what you do best, your make-up skills and your beauty therapy.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24Make everyone beautiful and I'm sure you'll feel beautiful.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26I will.
0:35:26 > 0:35:28- And you come and tell me all about it.- I will.
0:35:32 > 0:35:39I hope the experience will teach her that beauty is but skin deep.
0:35:39 > 0:35:42And that true beauty is what these people have,
0:35:42 > 0:35:45which shines out all the time regardless.
0:35:45 > 0:35:52But of course, everything depends on one's willingness to learn.
0:35:55 > 0:36:01The Cheshire home offers care to 48 residents with physical and mental disabilities.
0:36:01 > 0:36:0784-year-old Gladys runs the home with a team of volunteers.
0:36:07 > 0:36:10When you really come here and do things,
0:36:10 > 0:36:13you really have the satisfaction.
0:36:13 > 0:36:15To know you are coming here to do all this,
0:36:15 > 0:36:18it's also a great thing to look forward to.
0:36:25 > 0:36:31Gladys has arranged for Jerri to do make-up sessions for some of the residents.
0:36:31 > 0:36:34- Hello.- Hello.- I'm Jerri.
0:36:34 > 0:36:37- I'm Gladys.- Hello.- How are you?
0:36:37 > 0:36:39I'm so happy you're here.
0:36:39 > 0:36:45Very nice of you to come and volunteer to do some work here with all our residents.
0:36:45 > 0:36:47I think they're really happy to see you.
0:36:47 > 0:36:50You can always put a smile on their faces.
0:36:50 > 0:36:53- First time you've been in a home like this?- Yeah.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56Hello. I'm Jerri. Hello.
0:36:56 > 0:36:59This is Laxma. This is Chitra.
0:36:59 > 0:37:01This is Jerri.
0:37:01 > 0:37:03She wants to shake hands.
0:37:05 > 0:37:06What's she doing?
0:37:08 > 0:37:11But... What?
0:37:11 > 0:37:13- Balloon. - Balloon?- She wants balloons.
0:37:13 > 0:37:14Where the hell are balloons?
0:37:14 > 0:37:17No, she always asks people for balloons.
0:37:20 > 0:37:23Come.
0:37:23 > 0:37:26I want to stop now. I want to stop.
0:37:26 > 0:37:29Hold on, I'll be two seconds.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32I'm going outside. I need some air.
0:37:38 > 0:37:40I can't do that. I can't.
0:37:40 > 0:37:43I can't do it. No way.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45MEMBER OF PRODUCTION TEAM: What's the matter?
0:37:45 > 0:37:50I can't do that. I can't sit there with people who are not on my wavelength. I can't.
0:37:50 > 0:37:51I can't even talk to them.
0:37:51 > 0:37:55That just freaked me right out.
0:37:55 > 0:37:57What is it that freaks you out?
0:37:57 > 0:37:59She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards her.
0:37:59 > 0:38:02I don't like things like that. I hate things like that.
0:38:02 > 0:38:07I've never been to a disability home in my life, but I don't like it at all. At all.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09I swear to God.
0:38:15 > 0:38:20- I can't do it. I'm not emotionally ready for this.- No.
0:38:20 > 0:38:22I can't. Seriously.
0:38:22 > 0:38:27I've never, ever had an experience like this and it's making me frightened. I don't like it.
0:38:27 > 0:38:31Don't get frightened. These are unfortunate people.
0:38:31 > 0:38:37But we must try to help them, and you can count your blessings and say that you're OK like this.
0:38:37 > 0:38:41She must not be afraid of anyone odd-looking.
0:38:41 > 0:38:44I know they're all looking not normal,
0:38:44 > 0:38:49but most of them are mentally a little disturbed, so they look odd.
0:38:49 > 0:38:53She must have been a little upset, seeing so many at once.
0:38:59 > 0:39:05Despite talking to Gladys, Jerri is still refusing to do any make-overs for the residents.
0:39:06 > 0:39:10- When I walked in there and saw the people, I thought,- "BLEEP- this,"
0:39:10 > 0:39:13and walked back out. That's what went through my head.
0:39:13 > 0:39:17- I can't believe I just sat next to someone in a- BLEEP- nuthouse that I don't want to be at.
0:39:17 > 0:39:20Can we go? I hate it with a passion.
0:39:20 > 0:39:23- Hate's a strong word, but I- BLEEP - hate it, I just want to go.
0:39:23 > 0:39:25I want to go. Come on, can we go?
0:39:31 > 0:39:36Brindley is so concerned by Nicki's anger problems, he's taking her
0:39:36 > 0:39:40to visit the family's Buddhist priest, the Reverend Olande Ananda.
0:39:42 > 0:39:48I get the impression she feels anger is the best defence, or weapon, she has.
0:39:48 > 0:39:52She's taken an element of pride in having it,
0:39:52 > 0:39:58because she's got away with a lot of things and achieved what she wants with this anger.
0:39:58 > 0:40:04So, the way we could help her is to help her to manage it.
0:40:05 > 0:40:10Reverend Olande Ananda could relate to her and maybe reach to her.
0:40:10 > 0:40:14Because he is used to relating to
0:40:14 > 0:40:18troubled children, especially from the West. He could understand the Western mindset.
0:40:18 > 0:40:22With a little guidance, I think she can be a great lady.
0:40:22 > 0:40:25You can help me carry this stuff.
0:40:25 > 0:40:29But after being dropped off by Brindley, Nicki's already
0:40:29 > 0:40:33getting wound up about the no shoes rule inside the temple.
0:40:33 > 0:40:35Take off my shoes to go in there?
0:40:35 > 0:40:37No way.
0:40:37 > 0:40:39I don't like feet. He knows full well I don't like feet.
0:40:39 > 0:40:43So, he's bringing me somewhere I'm going to see loads of feet around.
0:40:43 > 0:40:47So, Nicki, how do you like the place?
0:40:47 > 0:40:49Your first impression?
0:40:49 > 0:40:51I like it, but I can't go inside.
0:40:51 > 0:40:55- Because of? - Because I don't like feet and I'm not taking off my shoes.
0:40:55 > 0:41:00- So, let us make what is called a one-time exception...- No.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03- ..for you. - What, I can keep my shoes on?
0:41:03 > 0:41:05- Keep your shoes on.- Oh, thank you.
0:41:05 > 0:41:07- You're lovely, you are.- Thank you.
0:41:07 > 0:41:10I hope your shoes are clean.
0:41:10 > 0:41:11You can wipe them when you come in.
0:41:15 > 0:41:21Nicki's anger problems got worse five years ago, after her dad's identity was revealed to her
0:41:21 > 0:41:24by her sister on the day of their grandfather's funeral.
0:41:24 > 0:41:29She didn't even know her dad until she was 13, through my father's funeral.
0:41:29 > 0:41:31That was the first day she met her real dad.
0:41:31 > 0:41:34Awkward.
0:41:34 > 0:41:39Horrible place to meet, because I'd just lost a loved one.
0:41:39 > 0:41:41I got told he was my dad.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43That was only because my sister told me.
0:41:43 > 0:41:46My mum weren't going to tell me.
0:41:46 > 0:41:49I had massive arguments with my mum about it.
0:41:49 > 0:41:53Throughout her childhood, Nicki's mum kept her dad's identity secret.
0:41:53 > 0:41:57She thought she was acting in Nicki's best interests,
0:41:57 > 0:42:00but the deception has driven a wedge between them.
0:42:00 > 0:42:02I think that's why she blames me.
0:42:02 > 0:42:05She blames me all the time.
0:42:05 > 0:42:06That's where that's coming from.
0:42:06 > 0:42:12I know you can't turn back the years and undo what went wrong,
0:42:12 > 0:42:15but I'd love Nicki to go back to the way she used to be.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18The loving, happy child she was.
0:42:18 > 0:42:21And I want her to love me again, like she did before.
0:42:24 > 0:42:28My anger is really bad. When it comes up, that's it, I can't control it.
0:42:28 > 0:42:30Ah, right. You get angry?
0:42:30 > 0:42:32- Yes, very angry.- Really?
0:42:32 > 0:42:35I'd say about 80% of the day, I'm angry.
0:42:35 > 0:42:3780% of the time?
0:42:37 > 0:42:39Yeah. It's really hard to control.
0:42:39 > 0:42:41It scares me sometimes.
0:42:41 > 0:42:45Right. So, do you have any idea where the anger comes from?
0:42:45 > 0:42:48I got let down by someone in the past.
0:42:48 > 0:42:51They ruined my trust completely.
0:42:51 > 0:42:54Right. That was a very, very bad experience.
0:42:54 > 0:42:57Yes. But I've still got a lot of hate in me because of it.
0:42:57 > 0:43:01It would be a pity, in a way, if this is going to
0:43:01 > 0:43:04spoil a lot of your life, actually.
0:43:04 > 0:43:08I still think about it a lot, so...
0:43:13 > 0:43:18Meditation is at the core of the Buddhist way of life.
0:43:18 > 0:43:25After helping to serve lunch to the monks, Nicki's agreed to see if it might help control her anger.
0:43:25 > 0:43:30What we do is just feel at home, sitting here now.
0:43:30 > 0:43:34We close the eyes gently.
0:43:34 > 0:43:36Relax.
0:43:36 > 0:43:42Let us then develop the good quality of universal loving kindness.
0:43:44 > 0:43:46By wishing from your heart.
0:43:47 > 0:43:54May I be free...from anger and fear.
0:43:54 > 0:43:58Peaceful...
0:43:58 > 0:43:59and happy.
0:44:02 > 0:44:05HE CHANTS
0:44:15 > 0:44:19And while relaxing body and mind,
0:44:19 > 0:44:23you can slowly, slowly open your eyes.
0:44:27 > 0:44:30'I've never thought of using meditation before.'
0:44:30 > 0:44:33To be honest, I've always thought
0:44:33 > 0:44:37it's a waste of time, just sitting on a pillow, closing your eyes.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39But I see it's not.
0:44:39 > 0:44:42I've learned a lot about myself today.
0:44:42 > 0:44:46I learned I can control my anger.
0:44:46 > 0:44:50I'd be a much happier person if I wasn't so angry all the time.
0:44:50 > 0:44:51I'm actually quite jolly today.
0:44:51 > 0:44:55Keep smiling. It's not like me.
0:44:58 > 0:45:00She's quite happy, I think.
0:45:08 > 0:45:12Back at the house, a letter's arrived from Nicki's mum.
0:45:12 > 0:45:15- A letter for you.- Thank you.
0:45:18 > 0:45:22"Dear Nicki, I know you are unhappy being so angry all the time.
0:45:22 > 0:45:28"I know it's a way of pushing people away and keeping a distance so you are never hurt or let down.
0:45:28 > 0:45:33"But you are never going to be happy until you find the strength to drop
0:45:33 > 0:45:36"your guard and allow people to get close again.
0:45:36 > 0:45:40"Your anger is tearing me apart.
0:45:40 > 0:45:42"It makes me so sad.
0:45:42 > 0:45:47"I'm sorry if I haven't always been there for you. I'm sorry for the mistakes I have made.
0:45:47 > 0:45:49"Love you forever and see you Sunday.
0:45:49 > 0:45:52"I can't wait. Love, Mum."
0:45:52 > 0:45:53Loads of kisses.
0:46:01 > 0:46:04I know she loves me.
0:46:04 > 0:46:07I love her too, but it's just hard.
0:46:13 > 0:46:18Don't know. She's right, though. I do hide, and I do push everyone away,
0:46:18 > 0:46:21because I've been hurt in the past.
0:46:23 > 0:46:25I don't want to be angry, I want to be happy.
0:46:29 > 0:46:32I just want to cuddle her and say sorry.
0:46:32 > 0:46:36And I'll change. Or I'll try to change.
0:46:45 > 0:46:49The British teens are nearing the end of their stay in Sri Lanka.
0:46:49 > 0:46:55Mandy wants to know why Jerri ran out of the care home.
0:46:55 > 0:46:59I think I find it so difficult because I'm not used to seeing...
0:47:01 > 0:47:03disability people.
0:47:03 > 0:47:06I think the bigger thing is that
0:47:06 > 0:47:11you come out of it and realise it is who you are that matters,
0:47:11 > 0:47:14not what you own, not what you have,
0:47:14 > 0:47:16not what you look, but what you are.
0:47:16 > 0:47:21I don't know what came over me, I just thought I had to get out of this place.
0:47:21 > 0:47:28I would like you to think that you are fortunate,
0:47:28 > 0:47:31that you should have realised that other people
0:47:31 > 0:47:33who are far less fortunate, who have nothing,
0:47:35 > 0:47:40who have nobody, they are just there waiting for somebody's charity.
0:47:40 > 0:47:45- Yes. I think that's what I'd like you to take home with you.- OK.
0:47:49 > 0:47:54After talking to Mandy, Jerri's decided to go through with the make-overs,
0:47:54 > 0:47:57and Nicki and the family's 13-year-old daughter Samaakhya
0:47:57 > 0:48:00have agreed to go with her.
0:48:01 > 0:48:07I want Jerri to come back again, for her to give another chance to see
0:48:07 > 0:48:10what they like. You are not supposed to judge people
0:48:10 > 0:48:13by the way they look, what matters is inside.
0:48:23 > 0:48:28Jerri is very nervous, but I think she's not used to it
0:48:28 > 0:48:32and that's why she gets a bit scared.
0:48:37 > 0:48:41- That's the one I got really scared of.- Why?
0:48:42 > 0:48:47- She grabbed my hand. - Do you want your nails done?
0:48:47 > 0:48:51- Put your hand on the table.- Yeah.
0:48:57 > 0:49:00You should just try once.
0:49:00 > 0:49:01Erm...
0:49:11 > 0:49:13- Shall I do her other hand?- Yes.
0:49:13 > 0:49:17Jerri's going to do your other hand.
0:49:17 > 0:49:19- All right?- Hello.
0:49:19 > 0:49:21I'm right shaking.
0:49:29 > 0:49:33- There you go - like them?- Yes.- Good.
0:49:38 > 0:49:43Yes, I really enjoy doing beauty and that, I think it's brilliant.
0:49:43 > 0:49:46I feel more relaxed than I did when I...ooh...
0:49:46 > 0:49:49when I first came here.
0:49:51 > 0:49:54- Do you want this hand this colour? - That one this colour?
0:49:54 > 0:49:56Aw, massive smile!
0:50:00 > 0:50:01Tell her she looks pretty.
0:50:01 > 0:50:03SHE TRANSLATES
0:50:04 > 0:50:06Aww!
0:50:08 > 0:50:11Did you see all their faces? Smiling.
0:50:11 > 0:50:13I know, they were so grateful.
0:50:13 > 0:50:18- I don't suppose they get many people just coming in and doing things like that.- No.
0:50:18 > 0:50:22I can't get over just how lucky I am.
0:50:22 > 0:50:26My sister, she's 14, she's got a brain age of
0:50:26 > 0:50:29a four- or five-year-old. She's proper, like, well behind.
0:50:29 > 0:50:33- Wow.- And at times she's like hyperactive, she's special needs.
0:50:33 > 0:50:36She's at a special needs school.
0:50:36 > 0:50:38Yeah.
0:50:38 > 0:50:44At home, I'm so selfish, and I'm just so lazy and I just don't think of others.
0:50:44 > 0:50:50But been here today, is just, like, there are people out there that are so worse-off.
0:50:50 > 0:50:53And I just think, "Why am I like that?"
0:50:53 > 0:50:56And today when I gave something back, it just felt good.
0:50:56 > 0:51:01It takes a lot of courage to come back and do something that you were so scared of last time.
0:51:01 > 0:51:07This little girl wants a balloon so much, I just want to give her one now.
0:51:07 > 0:51:08Have you got a balloon, Martin?
0:51:08 > 0:51:10Have you got a balloon?
0:51:10 > 0:51:14Look! I've got two for you.
0:51:21 > 0:51:27I think what I've learnt is everyone's the same, no matter how they look.
0:51:27 > 0:51:31We all have feelings, and we are all human,
0:51:31 > 0:51:36so I suppose I was a bit nasty to just walk out the way I did.
0:51:37 > 0:51:39But I think they forgive me.
0:51:49 > 0:51:51..Cucumber and tomato...
0:51:51 > 0:51:53Thank you, Mary.
0:51:53 > 0:51:58Back home, the girls are enjoying their last night with the family.
0:51:58 > 0:52:02Guess what, we've made you something. Come and see it.
0:52:05 > 0:52:09Thank you!
0:52:09 > 0:52:13- Thank you.- It's OK. You're welcome. And it's also to remind you of us.
0:52:13 > 0:52:17You can say, "We had two troubled teenagers and tried putting them straight."
0:52:20 > 0:52:23Very sweet of you.
0:52:23 > 0:52:28- There you go.- Thank you so much.
0:52:35 > 0:52:38The British girls' time in Sri Lanka has come to an end.
0:52:38 > 0:52:40I hope you take some good memories.
0:52:40 > 0:52:46And always know there's someone who's far worse off than you.
0:52:46 > 0:52:49Oh, you lot are so lovely.
0:52:49 > 0:52:53I think Mandy and Brindley are good because they just show you
0:52:53 > 0:52:57another life, so it makes you appreciate what you've got at home.
0:52:57 > 0:52:59And I can go home now, and I'll be a little bit calmer
0:52:59 > 0:53:02and a little more relaxed and not so stressed all the time.
0:53:02 > 0:53:06I think Mandy and Brindley are absolutely lovely.
0:53:06 > 0:53:11The way they give so much is absolutely amazing.
0:53:11 > 0:53:16They've taught me that it is what's inside that counts, at the end of the day.
0:53:25 > 0:53:30I'd like to think that she might have learnt from this experience
0:53:30 > 0:53:33a little bit of appreciation, maybe a little bit more respect.
0:53:36 > 0:53:38Hello.
0:53:42 > 0:53:45It's just really hit me, I think,
0:53:45 > 0:53:50more than I was expecting anything to, being with people
0:53:50 > 0:53:54that are just so less fortunate, it sort of make me think, "Wow".
0:53:54 > 0:53:56I didn't realise, actually, how selfish I was.
0:53:56 > 0:54:02Because I felt so selfish when I just ran out of that house, when I ran out of the home.
0:54:02 > 0:54:05But it's just, when I was out in Sri Lanka, I thought, "I just want my mum."
0:54:05 > 0:54:10But I think I value my family so much now.
0:54:10 > 0:54:14Well, I'm glad you've realised that, anyway.
0:54:14 > 0:54:16Because I am here for you.
0:54:16 > 0:54:17Come on, you know you want to!
0:54:19 > 0:54:22If she's not going to be selfish any more, that would be fantastic.
0:54:22 > 0:54:28To hear those words, really, if that's how she feels, then let's keep our fingers crossed.
0:54:32 > 0:54:35I really am looking forward to seeing her, but I'm so nervous,
0:54:35 > 0:54:38it's like meeting her for the first time after about ten years!
0:54:38 > 0:54:40I've really missed her.
0:54:40 > 0:54:43I'm not quite sure what to expect.
0:54:48 > 0:54:51I'm home, sweet home!
0:54:51 > 0:54:54I love you.
0:54:54 > 0:54:55I missed you!
0:54:55 > 0:54:57I missed you too.
0:54:57 > 0:54:59Oh, Mum, don't cry.
0:54:59 > 0:55:04- Sorry.- It's OK. Don't cry. - I didn't want to cry.
0:55:06 > 0:55:08We learnt to do meditation.
0:55:08 > 0:55:14- Did that help?- Yeah! - Yeah, they say meditation helps you if you're angry.
0:55:14 > 0:55:16- Yeah.- Perhaps you should do that more often.
0:55:16 > 0:55:21I know I've been a complete bitch over the years, and I'm sorry.
0:55:21 > 0:55:24I just want to say sorry to you, Nicki, I should have been there for you.
0:55:24 > 0:55:26I am your mother, at the end of the day.
0:55:26 > 0:55:29I'm just happy right now to be home.
0:55:29 > 0:55:31'This is a new start for me and Nicki.'
0:55:31 > 0:55:35And when she walked through the door, you could just see the relaxed Nicki.
0:55:35 > 0:55:38The Nicki that I used to know.
0:55:38 > 0:55:41And you could see that in her face, which was lovely.
0:55:41 > 0:55:48I think Nicki with the attitude she's got at the moment, I think it's all positive.
0:55:59 > 0:56:02- Next time on World's Strictest Parents...- Are you ready?
0:56:02 > 0:56:05It's not really ready, you just told me it's going to be half an hour!
0:56:05 > 0:56:11..little princess Anastasia Jones and angry young man Eden Lelliott Moore...
0:56:11 > 0:56:15You don't show this household and the people in this house, respect.
0:56:15 > 0:56:19- I ain't going to change nothing. - ..get new parents in Florida.
0:56:19 > 0:56:22I really don't think this is about the fence.
0:56:22 > 0:56:25It is about the fence! I don't want to paint a fence any more.
0:56:25 > 0:56:29It's a fence, and I don't want to paint it any more.
0:56:29 > 0:56:32In this weather, I'm not sweating, I'm not sweeping up rubbish.
0:56:38 > 0:56:41Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:56:41 > 0:56:45E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk