0:00:01 > 0:00:07Around the world, many parents raise their kids on a diet of strict discipline...
0:00:07 > 0:00:12As I am I'm the head of the house, I expect them to obey these rules,
0:00:12 > 0:00:13whether we are right or not.
0:00:13 > 0:00:14..rigid boundaries....
0:00:14 > 0:00:17Say sorry. You will not do again.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20My father controls my life every day.
0:00:20 > 0:00:21Are we going to see some progress?
0:00:21 > 0:00:24..and immediate consequences.
0:00:24 > 0:00:25CLANGING
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Stop!
0:00:27 > 0:00:28Yah!
0:00:31 > 0:00:35But can traditional parenting change the lives
0:00:35 > 0:00:37of rebellious British teenagers?
0:00:37 > 0:00:39- POLICE SIREN - Come and get me, I'm drinking underage.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41I took LSD, cocaine,
0:00:41 > 0:00:43ecstasy, weed,
0:00:43 > 0:00:46MDMA, ketamine...
0:00:46 > 0:00:49When you're 17, you need to go out, you need to party,
0:00:49 > 0:00:52because before you know it, you will be like, that's it, game over.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55I'm not coming back today, by the way. See you in 20 years!
0:00:55 > 0:00:57She's so incredibly rude.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59She's just a cow, really.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03- So disrespecting me, telling me to eff off.- Dad, just be quiet!
0:01:03 > 0:01:07Cheers! I don't really care what people think about me. Rules are made for breaking.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11To find out, two teens who have never met before
0:01:11 > 0:01:14will leave their fraught families behind...
0:01:14 > 0:01:17Go on, give us a hug. Come on.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Behave yourself, Shola.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21..and head off to the far corners of the world,
0:01:21 > 0:01:25where they will live according to strict rules imposed by new parents.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27- Argh!- Eugh!
0:01:27 > 0:01:30- Do you want a punch? Do you want a punch?- No, gosh.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Get off me. Get off.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Do me a favour and, for once, put some effort into your life.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40- Get off, get off! - Move out, move out, just go out.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44- The world does not revolve around you.- That's why I'm trying to walk away and she's following me.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46They can't programme me.
0:01:46 > 0:01:51If all the British teenagers were like them - no good.
0:01:54 > 0:01:59This programme contains some strong language.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01What's your problem?
0:02:01 > 0:02:02Do you know how it is to walk in heels?
0:02:02 > 0:02:0618-year-old party girl Jade Bare doesn't know when to stop.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10She stays out all night boozing.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14My life is going out and getting drunk, shopping, looking good,
0:02:14 > 0:02:17getting told I look good and just having fun.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21But Jade's drinking is out of control.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Start out getting drunk at my friend's house or my house.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Drink a bit, on the way here, drink a bit, go to a bar,
0:02:27 > 0:02:30drink a bit, get here, drink a bit.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32By the time we leave - legless.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Mum Rebecca is at the end of her tether.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39It's getting out of hand and it's painful
0:02:39 > 0:02:45to see somebody just, literally, destroy themselves.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Jade was raised in East London by her single mum,
0:02:48 > 0:02:50after her dad left when she was young.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55I have given her everything. I've put everything on hold for her.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58I've been a father and mother in her life for the last 18 years.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02But that never stopped Jade idolising her dad.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04I really, really, really, really loved my dad.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07He was like a proper main part in my life.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10And with Jade's dad dying two years ago, it's made matters worse.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Now he's gone, I don't really care about anyone else.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16I don't even care about his side of the family.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20I only cared about my dad.
0:03:20 > 0:03:21When she lost her dad,
0:03:21 > 0:03:27I think that's when things really again just got out of hand.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Jade's relationship with her traditional Ugandan mum
0:03:29 > 0:03:31is now at breaking point.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34I just don't feel like I want to be around my mum any more.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38You call to say, "When are you coming back?" She doesn't answer the phone.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42You do the waiting game until she comes back.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44- Jade, you need to look respectable. - I do look respectable.
0:03:44 > 0:03:48No, no, you're going out and walking out like that?
0:03:48 > 0:03:51I'm not going to say what I feel that you look like.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54I just come home when I come home - if I come home.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57I'm not coming back today, by the way. See you in 20 years!
0:03:57 > 0:04:01If I weren't going out, I'd just be depressed.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03But since I go out, I just think it's fun.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06There's no point of life if you're not going to go out.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10THEY CACKLE
0:04:10 > 0:04:14I feel I'm losing her, there's no connection, we're losing that...
0:04:14 > 0:04:17No relationship between mother and daughter.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Connor, your brother had £10 in his wallet.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22I never touched it.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Sorry, I don't believe you, I just don't believe you any more.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27- So who took it, then?- I don't know.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28What the fairies come in, did they?
0:04:28 > 0:04:3217-year-old stoner Connor Jones,
0:04:32 > 0:04:34is stealing off his family, to fund his drug habit.
0:04:34 > 0:04:39I smoked it once a week, twice a week, three times a week and now, every day.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42But I have to smoke more than £10-worth, otherwise it won't affect me.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46Connor lives with single mum Sue and younger brother Harry,
0:04:46 > 0:04:48but he doesn't lift a finger around the house.
0:04:48 > 0:04:53Connor's day - basically, he gets up and goes out and meets his mates.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Probably go and smoke some dope, have some drink.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58Comes back, stays up all night and sleeps all day.
0:04:58 > 0:05:03But not having a job doesn't stop Connor from splashing the cash.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06I used to spend at least £100 a week, easily.
0:05:06 > 0:05:07Any money, it would be on weed.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10Out of work and with no education,
0:05:10 > 0:05:14Connor's disruptive behaviour is ripping the family apart.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18- When are you going to do something with your life?- I went to the Job Centre yesterday.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22- You don't work, you've got no money coming in.- I have now, haven't I?
0:05:22 > 0:05:24- Have you?- Yeah.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- £50 a week and what is that going to be spent on? Dope.- Probably.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- Yeah, weed.- Yeah, well, it's my money - my money, my life.
0:05:30 > 0:05:35Oh, I have sat down and cried on my own. I've sat down and thought, "Where have I gone wrong?"
0:05:35 > 0:05:39I'm just hoping, in a few years' time, that he realises what he is doing.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44But it's not just his mum who is affected by his behaviour.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48I'm a dad.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50He's seven months now. A little kid called Louis.
0:05:50 > 0:05:54With the girl for eight months and she fell pregnant.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58She had the kid. I haven't really paid any attention to it, to be honest.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02The first two months, he was a really good dad,
0:06:02 > 0:06:05but then after that, he just started fading away.
0:06:05 > 0:06:10I'd ask him to come round and help me and he was just like, "Nah, I'm with my mates."
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Obviously, he was with his mates, getting stoned.
0:06:12 > 0:06:16I've probably seen him, since he was born, twice,
0:06:16 > 0:06:19maybe about five times, probably.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22If I had a tenner, I'd think, "Louis or weed?" I'd buy weed with it."
0:06:26 > 0:06:30In a desperate bid to change their lives, Jade and Connor's mums
0:06:30 > 0:06:32are sending them overseas,
0:06:32 > 0:06:35to live under another family's strict regime.
0:06:35 > 0:06:36Bye, Mum.
0:06:36 > 0:06:41- OK, bye, Jade. Be good. - My make-up.- Be good.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45She's a lovely girl when she wants to be,
0:06:45 > 0:06:48but I have to say, in the past two years,
0:06:48 > 0:06:51I don't understand her myself
0:06:51 > 0:06:54and I would say it's her last chance to get things right.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57- See you later.- All right, bye.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01He has got a soft spot, but he can be very headstrong
0:07:02 > 0:07:05and, hopefully, they'll be stronger than him.
0:07:07 > 0:07:12- You all right? I'm Jade. - I'm Connor. How are you feeling?
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- I'm well scared, are you, about..? - Yeah, nervous.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18- They ain't taking my fags. - Nah, neither.
0:07:18 > 0:07:19- Come on, then.- All right?
0:07:22 > 0:07:26MUSIC: "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana
0:07:26 > 0:07:29Connor and Jade will be heading to Seattle,
0:07:29 > 0:07:33the largest American city in the Pacific North-west.
0:07:33 > 0:07:3728 miles from the centre of town, they'll be staying with
0:07:37 > 0:07:38the Smith-Irwin family,
0:07:38 > 0:07:42under the watchful eyes of mum and dad, Denise and Rob.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45The couple both have children from their previous marriages.
0:07:45 > 0:07:50Denise's sons, 21-year-old Josh and 17-year-old Isaiah
0:07:50 > 0:07:54and Rob's daughters, 16-year-old Laura and 14-year-old Brooklyn.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Lord God, bless this food into our body...
0:07:57 > 0:08:00The couple are a united front, with strong beliefs.
0:08:00 > 0:08:01Quite often, when I'm
0:08:01 > 0:08:05having conversations, I will use the term...WWJD.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07What Would Jesus Do?
0:08:07 > 0:08:10You know, every step of our lives and our decisions
0:08:10 > 0:08:15are strongly based on Christian fundamental belief.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17To us, it's basically a daily part of life.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20And it was their faith that helped Denise,
0:08:20 > 0:08:22after an accident left her paralysed.
0:08:22 > 0:08:27The last thing I remember is crossing the double yellow line and the SUV that we ran
0:08:27 > 0:08:30rolled over three times and the roof crushed in over my head,
0:08:30 > 0:08:33so I ended up with a spinal cord injury.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36You have to make a choice, whether you're gonna let that stop you
0:08:36 > 0:08:40or just make you stronger. I was always strong in my faith.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43That's what pulled me through a lot - faith.
0:08:45 > 0:08:46Cool, nice shot.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48But the accident has not stopped Denise
0:08:48 > 0:08:51handing out the rules and chores around the house.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53- What are you doing? - My mom, she's strict.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Looks like you tidied up a bit.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Probably the most enforced rule -
0:08:58 > 0:09:01no drugs and no drinking or tobacco products.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Go ahead guys, clean up.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06We're expecting them to follow our rules
0:09:06 > 0:09:08and deal with the consequences if they're not.
0:09:15 > 0:09:20After an 11-hour flight, the teens land in Seattle
0:09:20 > 0:09:22and head to their new family.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30I just hope to God that they're not just complete twats.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36I am proper nervous now, now we're coming up to it.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Wow, look at their house.
0:09:40 > 0:09:41All right, here they come.
0:09:41 > 0:09:46- I think the one with the belly on the end, that's the dad. - He's fat, ain't he?
0:09:57 > 0:09:59- Hello!- How are you doing?
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Good to see you.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03We're so glad you're here, nice to meet you.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05- Hi, how are you?- I'm Jade.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07It's wonderful to meet you. Hello, dear.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10We're so glad you're here. Let's go inside and show you the house.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12This will be your room, Connor, this week.
0:10:12 > 0:10:13What, in 'ere, yeah?
0:10:13 > 0:10:18- I've never seen such a clean room.- Neither have I. Everything's perfect.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21The mum seems nice. Mum seems really nice,
0:10:21 > 0:10:23she seems like a real nice girl, but the dad...
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- Dad seems like proper like... - Proper weird, doesn't he? He's like a ginger freak.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30Them kids at school you never liked, the old gingers.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33The house is massive. I've never seen a house like that in England.
0:10:33 > 0:10:38I was proper shocked. It's proper nice, like, it seems a bit
0:10:38 > 0:10:42upper class, though, innit, like a bit higher market?
0:10:42 > 0:10:47Got to take your shoes off when you're walking through the house, it's like, yeah...
0:10:47 > 0:10:51Before the teens settle in, Denise and Rob want to explain
0:10:51 > 0:10:54what they expect over the next seven days.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55Connor, Jade!
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Could you guys come down here, we'll have a quick talk.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Hi, you guys.
0:11:01 > 0:11:02Well, now is the time
0:11:02 > 0:11:04we need to talk about house rules.
0:11:04 > 0:11:08First, and primary things that we insist on, is that
0:11:08 > 0:11:13we don't permit drinking, smoking - no alcohol, no cannabis,
0:11:13 > 0:11:15no cigarettes.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Is there no way we can smoke anywhere - outside the house?
0:11:17 > 0:11:21We're expecting that you're going to give up your cigarettes
0:11:21 > 0:11:23and that there's not going to be any smoking.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25I won't be giving up my cigarettes.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28- We'll have to come to some kind of agreement on that.- Five a day.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31Um, shoot for three, shoot for three.
0:11:31 > 0:11:36- Come on, I know you can do it. - Four a day, I'll compromise at four, that's in the middle.
0:11:36 > 0:11:41Do your daily chore. Jade, your chore will be setting the table for dinner, and then, Connor,
0:11:41 > 0:11:44your chore will be after the dinner, dishes are cleared,
0:11:44 > 0:11:50to wipe off this table and the counters after dinner, each day.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Computer, we do have, over there on the wall.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56There is one for everyone to use. You may use that, we do not allow Facebook.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00- What do you use your computer for, if you can't go on Facebook? - There's an amazing number
0:12:00 > 0:12:05of things you can do with a computer, without getting into a social network.
0:12:05 > 0:12:10- I want to clear up something. Smoking, where would you want me to smoke?- Off the premises.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13- Maybe off on the street.- On the street, between the cul de sac.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15What just around the corner, sort of thing?
0:12:15 > 0:12:19- The circle thing at the end of the pavement.- All right.
0:12:20 > 0:12:21Right, I'm going for a fag.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29There's, like, ten people to fucking set a table for.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33I ain't setting no table, that's just bullshit.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36I'll eat at the table, I don't mind. If you're upstairs, that's fine.
0:12:36 > 0:12:41Yeah, you ain't got to set the table, that's why you'll eat off it. I've got to set it.
0:12:41 > 0:12:46- I ain't touching any of that stuff. - That's just bullshit.- They're zombified in that house.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49They need some fucking alcohol in them, that's what they need.
0:12:51 > 0:12:57Every weekend, the whole family has to work together on the household chores.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01The British teens have only just arrived, but that doesn't mean they're exempt.
0:13:01 > 0:13:05OK, so today's Saturday and we're going to do our yard work chores,
0:13:05 > 0:13:09so let's all pitch in and do it together so we can get it all done and have fun, OK?
0:13:09 > 0:13:13Connor, we'll have you work on pulling the weeds.
0:13:13 > 0:13:20- So how long is this all going to take?- It may take up to two hours or so.- Two hours?! Pulling weeds?!
0:13:20 > 0:13:23At home, Jade never lifts a finger to help her mum.
0:13:23 > 0:13:28- What's weeds? Them green stuff? - Yeah, all the green stuff.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Can't I just sit down?
0:13:30 > 0:13:34Maybe you just like help out for a little bit and then maybe...
0:13:34 > 0:13:37I'll pretend to be over here.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44True to form, she decides to leave the others to it.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47I'm not really interested. I looked well bored.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50I think I looked proper rude, I was well bored.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52But I'm not doing no yard work.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00It's proper hot, as well.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Might just pretend to faint.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09- Yeah, I've got really bad hayfever. I'm actually not lying.- Do you?
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Yeah, like really bad.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13I don't have any info on your medical stuff,
0:14:13 > 0:14:17so I'm going to take your word for it. Fine?
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Jade may have got out of yard work,
0:14:20 > 0:14:23but she still needs to help Denise with some other chores.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Connor is hard at work,
0:14:27 > 0:14:29but that doesn't mean he's sticking to the rules.
0:14:29 > 0:14:34Defying Denise and Rob, he sparks up right outside the house.
0:14:36 > 0:14:37Take a break, take five.
0:14:37 > 0:14:42I don't want to take a break, I want to get it done, I'd rather sit here smoking and get it done.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45We're going to stick to the rules, we talked about it.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48You'd be more happy, me getting it done. It makes more sense,
0:14:48 > 0:14:50me getting it done, instead of taking a break.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53I don't want a break, I'd rather get it done and smoke.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57We did our negotiation earlier at the dinner table.
0:14:57 > 0:15:01Take a break, take five minutes down at the road.
0:15:01 > 0:15:02I don't want a break.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06Well, if you want to smoke, just go down to the road there.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08I'm not having a break, I'm not breaking.
0:15:10 > 0:15:14- Here we go, perfect. We need five pounds.- This one?- Yep.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Yeah, they look good.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20Shopping done, Denise seizes the chance to get to know Jade better.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23What do you do when you're at home?
0:15:23 > 0:15:26I'm not at home a lot, I don't like being around my mum
0:15:26 > 0:15:30anymore, she just shouts so much, so I just avoid it.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33Tell me more about your family, because you talk about your mom,
0:15:33 > 0:15:37why not your cousins, sisters, brothers, uncles, aunts, dad?
0:15:37 > 0:15:41My dad died when I was 15,
0:15:41 > 0:15:46just before my 16th birthday, yeah, so now it's just really like
0:15:46 > 0:15:52my aunts, my uncles and my cousins and stuff, so yeah.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55That's so sad, I didn't know about your father.
0:15:55 > 0:16:01That was fairly recent, that was just a couple of years ago.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05It only happened two years ago, hmm.
0:16:05 > 0:16:06Do you miss your dad?
0:16:06 > 0:16:10I don't really like talking about it or nothing.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13I'd rather just forget it.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Sometimes things are really hard in life,
0:16:15 > 0:16:17but this could be a challenge.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20If you think about it and you talk about it,
0:16:20 > 0:16:22instead of bottling things up,
0:16:22 > 0:16:26you let things out and discuss them, you feel better inside.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29An hour after signing up to the rules,
0:16:29 > 0:16:30Connor's having second thoughts.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33I know I said I'm going to do four,
0:16:33 > 0:16:36I only did that to keep you happy, because I didn't want to sit there
0:16:36 > 0:16:39and just absolutely argue straight away.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42I take a man at his word, and I don't appreciate
0:16:42 > 0:16:46the deceitfulness that you decided to try to fool us this morning.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50I wasn't trying to fool you at all.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52You just said that to appease us,
0:16:52 > 0:16:55you had no intention of following through with your word.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57I want to change my word, then.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Then it's not going to work in this household,
0:16:59 > 0:17:03because we are not going to permit somebody to come in and smoke.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05Can we change how many I'm on a day, then?
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Can't we put up how many I'm on a day, then?
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Listen, you want to compromise?
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Yeah, I want to change four a day, cos that is bad.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16I'm going to give you six a day for two days, then we're back
0:17:16 > 0:17:20to four on Monday, is that going to work for you?
0:17:20 > 0:17:23And don't tell me something to try to appease me.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27I want to know the truth on this, because I've got to make a decision.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31- So I've had two now, so I can have four more.- Yes. You're in?
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Yeah, all right.
0:17:36 > 0:17:42He's going to make some type of an agreement just as a way
0:17:42 > 0:17:45to pacify us. That's not good enough for a man,
0:17:45 > 0:17:48a man's got to put his word out there and be honest
0:17:48 > 0:17:51to his word, so I'm holding him to his honesty.
0:17:56 > 0:18:01And it seems Jade's doing no better at sticking to her word.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Still dragging her heels over chores, Denise has to jog her memory.
0:18:05 > 0:18:10- Set the table so we can eat. - I don't know how to.- I'll help you.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15- The other way.- Like that?
0:18:15 > 0:18:17Yeah, but closer.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20Fork and spoon, fork on your left, that on your right.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Might as well just go to a restaurant.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Yeah, sometimes it's easier,
0:18:24 > 0:18:27but it's nice to have a home-cooked meal sometimes, too.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29Can I rest for a minute? My legs hurt.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31- Your legs hurt?- Yeah.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Don't try to fool me! I know you're tired,
0:18:34 > 0:18:37so come on, finish up so we can eat, you need one more napkin,
0:18:37 > 0:18:40and the cups are way down on the counter.
0:18:40 > 0:18:44I'll wait for you out here. This is taking an awful long time.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47I'm not doing it tomorrow, that was proper tiring.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50I felt like a slave.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55Connor's also irritated by Denise and Rob's regime,
0:18:55 > 0:18:58and vents his frustration on 17-year-old Isaiah.
0:18:58 > 0:19:03Smoking rule's annoying, but I'm keeping to my word on that,
0:19:03 > 0:19:08but the rules are pretty straightforward.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12- I'm grounded this week, I can't do anything.- You're grounded, yeah.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15I got grounded for two weeks cos I came home late one time.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19What, for just coming in late, how late was you?
0:19:19 > 0:19:20An hour and a half.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23- You were grounded for three weeks? - Two, yes.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26- Two weeks, for being an hour and a half late?- Uh-huh.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29I would just go out anyway, that's awful.
0:19:29 > 0:19:35For Denise and Rob, the evening meal is the cornerstone of family life.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Lord, you are my shepherd, I shall not want,
0:19:38 > 0:19:41thank you for bringing our two guests here today.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44We love this opportunity to have Jade and Connor with us
0:19:44 > 0:19:48for the remainder of this week and we hope it can be very productive.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52- Bless this food to our body. Amen.- Amen.
0:19:52 > 0:19:57- Do you always pray, before every meal?- Dinner time meals, yeah.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00We feel it's important to be thankful for the things we have.
0:20:00 > 0:20:06- What's your favourite dish in England?- Chicken and chips.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10- Do you like your chicken done any special way, barbecued? - I like Nando's.
0:20:10 > 0:20:15- How?- Do you not have Nando's here? - No, what are they?
0:20:17 > 0:20:21I don't even have dinner with my mum but, if I do,
0:20:21 > 0:20:24I just go to my room and watch telly.
0:20:24 > 0:20:29These people are proper family.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32I think sometimes you just want to do your own thing
0:20:32 > 0:20:39but they seem all together, you've got to be together. I don't really like it.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42It's just like when they go out and do their meals and pray
0:20:42 > 0:20:46and all that, it's so weird, it's random, how they do everything,
0:20:46 > 0:20:49everything's really organized, and they run everything day-by-day,
0:20:49 > 0:20:52like a schedule sort of thing, I run my day like a flow,
0:20:52 > 0:20:56just go with the plan, see what happens, if I want to do something I'll do that.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11# Born in the USA, I was born in the USA... #
0:21:11 > 0:21:16It's the teens' second day in Seattle, and the 4th of July.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18One of the biggest days in the American calendar,
0:21:18 > 0:21:22where they celebrate independence from the British.
0:21:22 > 0:21:28Knowing Connor has an eight-month-old son, Rob wants to know how he intends to support him.
0:21:28 > 0:21:33What do you think it costs you for cannabis, and all this?
0:21:33 > 0:21:3750-60 a day, and then at the weekend it could be like 500.
0:21:37 > 0:21:41That's awful, if you took that money and you packed it away
0:21:41 > 0:21:45for a month, what do you think you would do with all that money?
0:21:45 > 0:21:49I would probably just buy some Xbox stuff or just buy something for my room.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52That's a lot of money you could put aside,
0:21:52 > 0:21:54think about how you could use that money for your son.
0:21:54 > 0:22:00Obviously I'll put some away for him in his own little piggy bank, whatever you want to call it.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03- I'm going out for a fag.- All right.
0:22:08 > 0:22:13I'd like to see him step up and state he's going to take on
0:22:13 > 0:22:17a manly responsibility for raising a good household.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22It takes a lot to raise a baby, and he's going to be faced
0:22:22 > 0:22:26with some more difficult challenges than he's ever seen before.
0:22:28 > 0:22:34Independence Day is a time for celebration, but for homesick Jade,
0:22:34 > 0:22:38yesterday's talk of her father means that, for once,
0:22:38 > 0:22:41she is not in the mood to party.
0:22:41 > 0:22:42Hey, look at me,
0:22:42 > 0:22:44is everything OK?
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Are you sure?
0:22:46 > 0:22:48You know, if you need to talk,
0:22:48 > 0:22:50just to let me know
0:22:50 > 0:22:53and we'll go off to the side and have a chat,
0:22:53 > 0:22:56because I really want to know what's going on with you.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58I'm all right.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01I don't think you're OK, actually.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03I know you're not OK.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11I wish I could give you a hug.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15Can you come over and give me a hug? Just turn around a little bit? No?
0:23:19 > 0:23:22You're sad about something.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24I'm all right.
0:23:24 > 0:23:29Jade, when there's tears rolling down your face...
0:23:29 > 0:23:32My eyes are just itchy.
0:23:37 > 0:23:42Back in the UK, Jade would drown her sorrows in drink, but in America
0:23:42 > 0:23:46it's not just the family's rules that are getting in her way.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49I really want to go to a corner shop and get a bottle of vodka
0:23:49 > 0:23:52and just go to the park and sit there and drink,
0:23:54 > 0:23:56but I can't do that here cos I'm not 21.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09As part of the Independence Day celebrations, the Smith Irwin family
0:24:09 > 0:24:12has been invited to a neighbour's party.
0:24:12 > 0:24:16For Denise and Rob, it's a good opportunity to test Jade and Connor's resolve.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18There's going to be some alcohol there.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21We don't want to take any of that.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25I don't drink a lot, so it don't bother me.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28How about you, Jade, do you think it's going to be a temptation?
0:24:28 > 0:24:29Probably...but...
0:24:29 > 0:24:33Just remember our rules, no drinking, no smoking, no drugs.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37Same goes over there, we're all going there as a family,
0:24:37 > 0:24:39use your manners and be polite,
0:24:39 > 0:24:42we'll have a good time and stay away from the alcohol.
0:24:44 > 0:24:49At the neighbour's party, being confronted with the temptation
0:24:49 > 0:24:54of alcohol means Jade can't shake it from her mind.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Did you get drunk when you were younger? Did you go to clubs?
0:24:57 > 0:25:0021 is pretty strictly enforced around here.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02I started buying alcohol when I was like 14, 15.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08I wouldn't call it a party, I would not call today a party,
0:25:08 > 0:25:11at all, more like a little adults' gathering.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15In terms of alcohol I might smuggle one just for the fact that
0:25:15 > 0:25:17I want some alcohol, get a little cup.
0:25:25 > 0:25:30With the Independence Day fireworks in full swing, Jade and Connor
0:25:30 > 0:25:33decide to sneak into the neighbour's house...
0:25:33 > 0:25:36- They've got them little fruity things!- What?
0:25:38 > 0:25:41And Jade is quick to grab the alcohol.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46- But it looks like they've been rumbled by Josh.- Want to head out?
0:25:46 > 0:25:49All right, we'll come.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53You can't just like lounge around their house,
0:25:53 > 0:25:55we may as well just head home.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Shit.
0:25:59 > 0:26:03Having smuggled a bottle of alcoholic juice back home,
0:26:03 > 0:26:08the British teens have no qualms about breaking Rob and Denise's strict prohibition rule.
0:26:16 > 0:26:20I don't feel guilty, Connor might. What is there to feel guilty about?
0:26:20 > 0:26:23It's juice. Put it in the post-box.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28BURPS Oh, pardon me.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30That is just gross.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32SPEECH INDISTINCT
0:26:41 > 0:26:46It's Connor and Jade's third day living with the Smith Irwin family,
0:26:46 > 0:26:49and their first working day in Seattle.
0:26:50 > 0:26:54Rob is a strong believer in the Christian work ethic.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Morning, Connor. Are you up yet?
0:26:56 > 0:27:00Today is a working day, you got a son to feed so that's something
0:27:00 > 0:27:04you're going to be thinking about the rest of your life.
0:27:04 > 0:27:09- Morning.- It's time to get up.- It's like four o'clock in the morning!
0:27:09 > 0:27:11- I don't wake up this early.- No? OK.
0:27:13 > 0:27:18Well, you'll come around, but we need to see progress in five minutes
0:27:18 > 0:27:23otherwise it's going to be a little bit of a different wake up call, OK?
0:27:26 > 0:27:30HE BANGS PAN LIDS TOGETHER
0:27:30 > 0:27:34- Argh, no!- Huh?
0:27:34 > 0:27:38That's just really horrible!
0:27:38 > 0:27:41We told you it was going to get worse, you've got to start
0:27:41 > 0:27:45making some progress. It's a regular work day, and that's what we do.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48When you're going to school or you're going to work,
0:27:48 > 0:27:51you've got to get up in the morning, you've got to do it.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53CLANGING
0:27:53 > 0:27:55Please stop!
0:27:59 > 0:28:03To teach the British teens the value of working hard to help others,
0:28:03 > 0:28:09Denise has arranged work for them at a local charity, accompanied by Isaiah and Laura.
0:28:17 > 0:28:22Taking charge of the teens is Jean, one of the shelter's volunteers.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25I want to tell you about Mary's Place.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29This is a day centre for homeless women, and women with children
0:28:29 > 0:28:32who are in maybe perhaps transitional housing.
0:28:32 > 0:28:34- A homeless shelter?- Yeah.
0:28:34 > 0:28:38And she's quick to put the teens to work in the kitchen
0:28:38 > 0:28:40making lunch for the residents.
0:28:40 > 0:28:44You've got to wash your hands, put on some gloves.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48How do you want your onions cut?
0:28:48 > 0:28:51Jean's interested in the teens' plans for their future.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53Laura, so what is it you're planning on doing?
0:28:53 > 0:28:58Well, I'm looking at going into a career in finance.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01- A person who's good at math. - Yeah.- Not me!
0:29:01 > 0:29:04So any of the rest of you have plans for your future?
0:29:04 > 0:29:10I just smoke a lot of marijuana, all the time, like every day.
0:29:10 > 0:29:12So how do you pay for this habit?
0:29:12 > 0:29:15I used to work - I did like construction work
0:29:15 > 0:29:17and labouring and all that.
0:29:17 > 0:29:20Just whenever really you can get money off your parents, your family.
0:29:20 > 0:29:24I don't like taking money off my family, but if I have to, I have to.
0:29:24 > 0:29:26What about you, what do you do?
0:29:26 > 0:29:30I don't really do a lot, except for drink and go out.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32So that's what you want to do with your life?
0:29:32 > 0:29:36Yeah. I live for the weekend, I live to drink and I live to party.
0:29:40 > 0:29:44It's lunchtime, and the teens need to serve the residents.
0:29:45 > 0:29:48Do you want any salad or anything?
0:29:48 > 0:29:50But it's all a bit too much for workshy Jade.
0:29:52 > 0:29:53'That was boring -
0:29:53 > 0:29:55'I don't know, it might get more interesting.'
0:29:55 > 0:29:58My legs hurt, and I just want to go home and sleep.
0:30:01 > 0:30:04After lunch, the residents want to warn the teens
0:30:04 > 0:30:06about how addiction has affected their lives.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10I went to prison due to drugs,
0:30:10 > 0:30:11and didn't see my children for three years,
0:30:12 > 0:30:15I missed the birth of my grandson...
0:30:15 > 0:30:20So December 1st, I just decided I was not going to get high any more..
0:30:20 > 0:30:25- How old was you when you first tried it?- Well, I was 19, and I'm 47 now.
0:30:26 > 0:30:29There was a lady in our shelter, she went out,
0:30:29 > 0:30:33bought herself some pot, smoking - next thing, she'd smoked
0:30:33 > 0:30:37so much of it that she was basically comatose.
0:30:37 > 0:30:43Her friends got panicked, they took off and left her in the park, passed out.
0:30:43 > 0:30:49So people say, "Well, smoking pot isn't a bad thing" -
0:30:49 > 0:30:52anything that you abuse to the point
0:30:52 > 0:30:56where it takes you over like that, IS a bad thing.
0:30:56 > 0:30:58I have five kids,
0:30:58 > 0:31:00I've been on the streets since I was like 13.
0:31:00 > 0:31:05Taking care of myself, selling drugs, prostituting, doing drugs.
0:31:05 > 0:31:09I take responsibility for the actions that I've done, you understand?
0:31:09 > 0:31:13But once you've done it, there ain't no taking it back!
0:31:13 > 0:31:14- Is it Jade?- Yeah.
0:31:14 > 0:31:18Yeah - Jade, what you'll find is it's fun for now and you'll have
0:31:18 > 0:31:21friends who'll party with you, but let's say you turn around
0:31:21 > 0:31:25and you don't have the money to buy the admittance thing to a club and
0:31:25 > 0:31:29you don't have the money to buy the drinks and you don't have the money
0:31:29 > 0:31:32to get the pot, those friends are going to fade away.
0:31:32 > 0:31:39And you're going to be possibly doing stuff that you never considered yourself doing.
0:31:43 > 0:31:45They were probably just like me
0:31:45 > 0:31:47when they were younger, going out and having fun.
0:31:47 > 0:31:51I really hope, seeing you and how much of a nice person you are,
0:31:51 > 0:31:53I hope you don't end up there,
0:31:53 > 0:31:55I really want you to have a great life.
0:31:55 > 0:31:59Oh, no, you're really upset! You're like, really upset.
0:31:59 > 0:32:02I'm just like, really emotional.
0:32:02 > 0:32:06Oh, it is an emotional time. It's a really stressful day.
0:32:06 > 0:32:09When that woman was on about the weed and all that,
0:32:09 > 0:32:12I don't even want to touch that stuff any more, that is horrible,
0:32:12 > 0:32:15and I used to smoke that all the time.
0:32:22 > 0:32:23You're an idiot.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27Connor may have turned his back on weed,
0:32:27 > 0:32:30but the war on drugs is not over.
0:32:30 > 0:32:33Denise has suspicions after the party, and summons Josh.
0:32:33 > 0:32:37I saw the teens were going into the fridge with the alcohol in it.
0:32:37 > 0:32:41I don't know if they took any or if they decided not to.
0:32:41 > 0:32:43- They must've been pretty sneaky. - Yeah.
0:32:43 > 0:32:47You didn't see them taking a sip of it, or opening it?
0:32:47 > 0:32:50No, they must've stowed it away for later or something.
0:32:50 > 0:32:52So they might've walked away from it, and...
0:32:52 > 0:32:56Yeah, I'm guessing they took it here,
0:32:56 > 0:33:00because that was at the very end of the party, and then we just left and came home.
0:33:00 > 0:33:06Oh, it was at the end of the party. So it was after the fireworks?
0:33:06 > 0:33:10- Er, yeah, it was right after you left.- Got it.
0:33:10 > 0:33:13That totally makes sense now because they had that time from
0:33:13 > 0:33:16getting from the house to here, they could've been drinking along the way.
0:33:16 > 0:33:20I was with them the whole way, they didn't drink at all.
0:33:21 > 0:33:23- Hmmm.- Yeah, I don't know what they did.
0:33:23 > 0:33:28Maybe they drank another time that I didn't see or something, but...
0:33:28 > 0:33:30What did they do with the bottle? Did they drink it?
0:33:30 > 0:33:34They probably brought the bottles here and they're not open, that's my guess.
0:33:34 > 0:33:36I need to talk with them.
0:33:36 > 0:33:39Yeah. I can't say for sure whether they took the bottles...
0:33:39 > 0:33:42I understand. And I'm not going to tell them you told me that.
0:33:44 > 0:33:49Determined to dig out the facts, Denise calls Connor outside.
0:33:49 > 0:33:53Is there anything that you need to tell me, that happened yesterday at the party?
0:33:56 > 0:33:58No.
0:33:58 > 0:34:01- Nothing at all?- No.
0:34:01 > 0:34:05- You're sure?- Yeah, I'm positive.- OK.
0:34:05 > 0:34:10Today I was informed that you and Jade had taken a drink.
0:34:10 > 0:34:12I haven't touched any drink or nothing like that.
0:34:12 > 0:34:17So obviously I'm still innocent until I've actually been proved that I've taken it.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20Hmm.
0:34:20 > 0:34:22Can you send Jade out here, please?
0:34:22 > 0:34:26Jade...they want you.
0:34:30 > 0:34:34Josh, do you want to play table tennis?
0:34:37 > 0:34:40So is there anything that happened at the party...
0:34:42 > 0:34:47..a choice that you made or anything that you did that you weren't supposed to do?
0:34:48 > 0:34:54- Or were tempted, and gave into the temptation?- No.- No?
0:34:54 > 0:34:58Can you look at me when we talk? I'd like to see your eyes.
0:34:58 > 0:35:03- We didn't take nothing. - You didn't drink any alcohol?
0:35:03 > 0:35:06- We looked in their fridge. - Tell me about that.
0:35:06 > 0:35:07There's like, different drinks in there.
0:35:08 > 0:35:13Then one of them dropped, and then... Not dropped, like broke,
0:35:13 > 0:35:14and I tried to close it and it hit it,
0:35:14 > 0:35:19so it made like, loads of noise, then I put it back in...then, yeah.
0:35:20 > 0:35:21Hmm.
0:35:21 > 0:35:25I've been accused of taking alcohol from their neighbour's fridge.
0:35:25 > 0:35:28- Yeah.- So... I don't understand why.
0:35:28 > 0:35:31I saw you guys looking in there, but I never saw them
0:35:31 > 0:35:35take any alcohol, and that's what I told her when she asked.
0:35:35 > 0:35:36I feel like they don't trust me at all,
0:35:36 > 0:35:38and it's actually really annoying
0:35:38 > 0:35:41that they've accused us of something that we haven't done.
0:35:41 > 0:35:44With no concrete proof, Rob and Denise decide
0:35:44 > 0:35:48their best tactic is to give Connor and Jade the benefit of the doubt.
0:35:49 > 0:35:53My initial feeling is that I believe you,
0:35:53 > 0:35:55and I'd like to continue believing and trusting you.
0:35:55 > 0:35:59We don't know - maybe you guys took a drink, but that's your own conscience,
0:35:59 > 0:36:03so you need to stay true to yourselves in this.
0:36:03 > 0:36:07- We care.- Absolutely, we care a lot.
0:36:07 > 0:36:11We just want to make sure we're doing the best we can to help you make good choices.
0:36:14 > 0:36:18Oh, I feel so guilty. I feel SO guilty...
0:36:23 > 0:36:26They're all big about trust and that, and they said they believed us
0:36:26 > 0:36:31and they trusted us, so...I feel like shit, to be honest about it.
0:36:31 > 0:36:36Lying to Denise. So bad, so, so, so bad.
0:36:36 > 0:36:38I've never really felt like that before,
0:36:38 > 0:36:41I've never really had a guilty conscience, it doesn't come up a lot,
0:36:41 > 0:36:45and I...I feel really awful.
0:36:53 > 0:36:55Jade, I'll take the elevator,
0:36:55 > 0:36:57I'll meet you right in the front of the car.
0:36:57 > 0:36:59- Bye-bye.- Have fun.- I'll try.
0:37:01 > 0:37:05Before the teens head home, Denise is keen to have some more quality time with Jade.
0:37:06 > 0:37:11And Rob wants to make sure that Connor returns to the UK with the right attitude.
0:37:16 > 0:37:19What time do they normally start work in England?
0:37:19 > 0:37:23Usually we start about eight o'clock. Eight, half eight.
0:37:23 > 0:37:26Eight o'clock. So you want to get up have a little bit of breakfast.
0:37:26 > 0:37:30If you keep on getting yourself involved in cannabis and
0:37:30 > 0:37:33smoking, you're going to be wasting a lot of money that you work for -
0:37:33 > 0:37:38so think about all the hours you put in just to support that nasty habit.
0:37:40 > 0:37:43I'd do what you said, put some money aside from my wages
0:37:43 > 0:37:46each like, month or whatever when I get money.
0:37:46 > 0:37:49- That's something you can put into your son, right?- Mmm.- Yeah.
0:37:49 > 0:37:54It's going to get really tough and you're going to want to quit,
0:37:54 > 0:37:58but you know what, you can't quit, you've got to keep going, keep persevering.
0:38:01 > 0:38:06Denise wants to get to the bottom of why Jade was upset on the morning of Independence Day.
0:38:06 > 0:38:12- You were crying, something was really bothering you.- Yeah, but...
0:38:12 > 0:38:15Nothing major, I'm fine now, so it don't really matter.
0:38:16 > 0:38:20And erm, so you think it might have anything to do with your dad?
0:38:20 > 0:38:24- No. I don't like talking about it, though.- You don't?- No.
0:38:26 > 0:38:30I think maybe one of your challenges you might consider is an emotional challenge.
0:38:31 > 0:38:36What I mean by that is challenging yourself to talk about things
0:38:36 > 0:38:38that you don't want to talk about.
0:38:39 > 0:38:41- Nah.- "Nah"(!)
0:38:50 > 0:38:52It doesn't sound like she talks about
0:38:52 > 0:38:54her feelings about anything too much to anybody.
0:39:00 > 0:39:04So that's the challenge, is trying to get her to talk and open up.
0:39:12 > 0:39:17After some one-to-one time with the British teens, Denise and Rob
0:39:17 > 0:39:21have arranged for them to work with some young people with disabilities.
0:39:21 > 0:39:25- Hi guys, welcome. I'm Ed. - I'm Connor.- Hi, Connor.
0:39:25 > 0:39:28- Hi, I'm Jade.- Hi, Jade. Welcome to Outdoors for All.
0:39:28 > 0:39:31So, we've got a camp going on today for kids with disabilities,
0:39:31 > 0:39:34and we've got a lot of volunteers who are similar aged.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37The teens will be doing outdoors activities in pairs.
0:39:37 > 0:39:40Jade is teaming up with Brian, and Connor with Michael.
0:39:40 > 0:39:44Michael, this is Connor. You guys will be kayaking and hiking buddies today.
0:39:46 > 0:39:49Connor's keen to get to know his buddy a bit better.
0:39:50 > 0:39:55- What, like, disability do you have? - I have really small lungs.
0:39:55 > 0:39:59- You have small lungs?- Yeah.- Oh, so you have a problem breathing?
0:40:00 > 0:40:02Having been born with underdeveloped lungs,
0:40:02 > 0:40:05Michael finds physical activity difficult,
0:40:05 > 0:40:08but it's really important for him to keep fit.
0:40:08 > 0:40:10Why don't you have a race?
0:40:10 > 0:40:15The first one to get to there. Both of you, go on. Don't run across...
0:40:20 > 0:40:21Come on. Keep running.
0:40:21 > 0:40:26London party girl Jade's a little more out of her comfort zone.
0:40:26 > 0:40:29Oh, yeah. I'm wearing flip-flops and we're going hiking...
0:40:29 > 0:40:32- Yeah, that's pretty funny. - So that's a bit dodgy.
0:40:34 > 0:40:37My feet are going to hurt by the end of this.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41- Do you want me to clip them up for you?- Yeah...
0:40:45 > 0:40:48With his own eight-month-old son, Connor's been a reluctant dad,
0:40:48 > 0:40:50but away from home it's proving easier.
0:40:51 > 0:40:56So if I show you... Stay there. You do it like that, and like that.
0:40:56 > 0:40:58- Oh, right.- Do you understand?- Yeah.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00So keep practising that.
0:41:00 > 0:41:02And we're off.
0:41:05 > 0:41:07That's it.
0:41:07 > 0:41:11I don't like hiking. I don't like walking a lot,
0:41:11 > 0:41:13I'd rather get a bus up here.
0:41:22 > 0:41:25Well done, buddy. Have fun?
0:41:25 > 0:41:30- Yeah.- Hard work?- Er...yeah. Sometimes.
0:41:30 > 0:41:34- How do your arms feel?- Good. - Good? Do you feel strong?- Yeah.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36I enjoyed it a lot, it's good fun.
0:41:36 > 0:41:43It's good to teach them a few life skills like that, so I enjoyed it a lot.
0:41:43 > 0:41:47Lunchtime gives the teens a chance for a quick catch-up.
0:41:47 > 0:41:49I got on well with him,
0:41:49 > 0:41:53I hope he enjoyed himself. Quite funny, actually. Yeah, it was good.
0:41:53 > 0:41:58But how does that make you feel about your son and that, like, working with a little kid, and...
0:41:58 > 0:42:02It made me feel like I actually made the effort to be a proper dad and all that,
0:42:02 > 0:42:04so I can't wait to do that with my son.
0:42:04 > 0:42:06So I actually feel like a dad,
0:42:06 > 0:42:10and I never felt like that before. So it's like a new feeling for me.
0:42:10 > 0:42:13Kind of sad, but kind of happy feeling.
0:42:13 > 0:42:15Mixed emotions, really.
0:42:15 > 0:42:17- Mine's gone.- Oh, yeah!
0:42:18 > 0:42:20Not too deep...!
0:42:20 > 0:42:22Basically, I will be it,
0:42:22 > 0:42:24and you have to go and hide.
0:42:27 > 0:42:29One, two, three, Michael!
0:42:33 > 0:42:36We can do it, Brian... Come on, let's try and turn around.
0:42:38 > 0:42:40Come on, Brian.
0:42:41 > 0:42:42You're doing it.
0:42:42 > 0:42:44I'll just relax...
0:42:44 > 0:42:47I'm your British guest.
0:42:47 > 0:42:51Spending time with these kids, I really miss my son a lot.
0:42:51 > 0:42:53It's really hard to think about it and all that
0:42:53 > 0:42:57so hopefully when we get home I'll spend a lot more quality time with my son
0:42:57 > 0:43:00and take him down the park and play with him.
0:43:00 > 0:43:02So, now I'm going to catch myself some kids.
0:43:04 > 0:43:07Back at the house,
0:43:07 > 0:43:09Rob and Denise are keen to know how the teens got on.
0:43:09 > 0:43:11Hey.
0:43:11 > 0:43:15Been looking forward to seeing you guys all day, hi.
0:43:15 > 0:43:18- How did you guys like it today? - It was fun.
0:43:18 > 0:43:20Yeah, it was funny.
0:43:20 > 0:43:26We got like paired up with like kids, we went for a little hike,
0:43:26 > 0:43:30walked up the hike together and then went to the kayaks together.
0:43:30 > 0:43:32My guy had, um, I was asking him about it,
0:43:32 > 0:43:36he said that he has very, very small lungs,
0:43:36 > 0:43:39so he couldn't breathe properly and he can't exercise very well.
0:43:39 > 0:43:42It's frightening when you think about it all the gifts that
0:43:42 > 0:43:45you're given and, you know, that you're fully abled.
0:43:45 > 0:43:48Some people aren't quite as fortunate in that regard.
0:43:48 > 0:43:52Just cos they have disabilities it doesn't mean they can't do anything we can.
0:43:52 > 0:43:55I think you've been displaying more characteristics of a man,
0:43:55 > 0:43:59you're conscientious of people around you
0:43:59 > 0:44:03and you're taking on more responsibility
0:44:03 > 0:44:06and if you keep on that path,
0:44:06 > 0:44:09I can see things improving for you and your son.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12You know, you want to be able to get together with him,
0:44:12 > 0:44:15you want to have that father-son bond,
0:44:15 > 0:44:20and you want to be that person that he looks up to later in his life.
0:44:20 > 0:44:25That's what I felt like today that when I was with the kiddie I was with today -
0:44:25 > 0:44:28he was quite young, he was only about six or seven,
0:44:28 > 0:44:31so we kind of had like a father bond, me and him at one point.
0:44:31 > 0:44:33That's what I found, it was like a new feeling for me,
0:44:33 > 0:44:36that's what I want to be like with my son all the time.
0:44:36 > 0:44:40Yeah, yeah, so that new feeling, it really feels good to have that?
0:44:40 > 0:44:44- Yes, it does feel good, really good. - Yeah, good.
0:44:45 > 0:44:48So I'm going to get this other stick, you guys, don't stand around.
0:44:51 > 0:44:54Give us some more slack here.
0:44:54 > 0:44:58I need to speak to Louis, see Louis more and I need to be there for him.
0:44:58 > 0:45:01I'm obviously a young dad and I'm still learning,
0:45:01 > 0:45:05but I will try a lot more to see him when I get back.
0:45:06 > 0:45:08It's the teens' final evening
0:45:08 > 0:45:11living as members of the Smith Irwin family.
0:45:11 > 0:45:1416-9.
0:45:16 > 0:45:19But Denise and Rob still have concerns about Jade.
0:45:20 > 0:45:24Hey, Jade, would you like to come in and talk for a bit?
0:45:28 > 0:45:30You haven't talked that much about your dad.
0:45:30 > 0:45:40I don't actually know what I feel, like, I haven't actually got a feeling about my dad dying.
0:45:40 > 0:45:45It's still not that real because no-one really told me
0:45:45 > 0:45:48what was going on, so I was just like, oh,
0:45:48 > 0:45:50because I was just about to do my exams,
0:45:50 > 0:45:54so no-one really wanted to say, "Yeah, your dad's dying".
0:45:54 > 0:45:56When was the last time you saw your father?
0:45:56 > 0:46:00I ended up going out on the Saturday. I went to my friend's house,
0:46:00 > 0:46:04then my mum tried to ring me like 50 times.
0:46:04 > 0:46:07I just chucked my phone in my bag, that's what I always do,
0:46:07 > 0:46:11and she tried to ring my friend, but I was like "Just ignore it", so...
0:46:13 > 0:46:18Did you feel like you had time to say goodbye?
0:46:18 > 0:46:20No, I felt really guilty.
0:46:20 > 0:46:24I think that's probably why it's worse because I feel really guilty.
0:46:24 > 0:46:31He wouldn't want you to carry any guilt like this, really.
0:46:31 > 0:46:35Do you think you ever grieved your father's passing?
0:46:35 > 0:46:39No, I don't think I did it properly, I think it was a bit...
0:46:39 > 0:46:44I think my grieving was drinking,
0:46:44 > 0:46:48that's how I got rid of my pain and stuff,
0:46:48 > 0:46:51that's why I just carried it on.
0:46:51 > 0:46:55It takes a lot of courage to face difficult emotions sometimes
0:46:55 > 0:47:01and so what you're saying is you think that you turned to drinking
0:47:01 > 0:47:04instead of face that challenge.
0:47:04 > 0:47:07Yeah, I was drinking a little bit before,
0:47:07 > 0:47:11but after that I just literally went out to drink.
0:47:11 > 0:47:18I'd usually go to school, but even sometimes during the school week
0:47:18 > 0:47:21I'd drink and I'd have exams the next day
0:47:21 > 0:47:23and I'd drink in the morning.
0:47:25 > 0:47:30But it's just carried on now, I've just got used to it so I just drink.
0:47:30 > 0:47:35I think that's a huge self discovery, that you just made,
0:47:35 > 0:47:37you just said that out loud,
0:47:37 > 0:47:40because it's the first time I've heard you speak about that
0:47:40 > 0:47:44and it sounds like you've been doing some thinking about that.
0:47:45 > 0:47:48I don't know, she talks about my dad dying now.
0:47:48 > 0:47:51I never actually thought it was real until today,
0:47:51 > 0:47:55so that's why I'm kind of like oh, maybe...
0:47:55 > 0:47:58Maybe I should talk about it, I don't know.
0:47:58 > 0:48:01Like sometimes you wake up and you're like,
0:48:01 > 0:48:07"Oh, let's talk to my dad", but you can't, so you're like, oh.
0:48:07 > 0:48:11I think I blamed my mum, I blamed my aunts,
0:48:11 > 0:48:15my uncles and everyone that really knew for not telling me.
0:48:17 > 0:48:20But being able to talk about it made me feel a bit better.
0:48:20 > 0:48:26I can't wait to go back and see her and see how things change and that.
0:48:26 > 0:48:29And, I don't know, maybe I'll stop going out
0:48:29 > 0:48:32because sometimes I go out just to defy my mum.
0:48:59 > 0:49:02The teens' time living with Rob, Denise and their family
0:49:02 > 0:49:05has come to an end, but Jade still has something on her mind.
0:49:05 > 0:49:09When we went that party, I kind of lied.
0:49:09 > 0:49:12I did have a little drink, but that's because that day
0:49:12 > 0:49:15I was really upset and I'm used to just being like,
0:49:15 > 0:49:19"I'm going to get some drink",
0:49:19 > 0:49:22so I just caved in at that point.
0:49:22 > 0:49:24You've like put trust in me and that
0:49:24 > 0:49:28and I kind of broke that trust and it brought my conscience back,
0:49:28 > 0:49:31like, oh, someone's actually cared enough to like be,
0:49:31 > 0:49:34"Oh, right, I believe you".
0:49:34 > 0:49:38And I'm like really sorry for like lying.
0:49:38 > 0:49:40Thanks for letting me know, I forgive you, Jade,
0:49:40 > 0:49:43thanks for telling me, I really appreciate that.
0:49:43 > 0:49:46And that's another thing, that's courage to do what you just did.
0:49:46 > 0:49:49It wasn't all Jade at all, I did take some part in it,
0:49:49 > 0:49:54At the end of the day it's not just Jade it was kind of both of us.
0:49:54 > 0:49:57How did you feel about when we sat you down and we looked
0:49:57 > 0:50:01in your eye and we told you that we trusted you and all?
0:50:01 > 0:50:04I felt so bad, I even said that so many times, I felt awful.
0:50:04 > 0:50:06That says a lot about your character,
0:50:06 > 0:50:08I'm really glad you guys said something.
0:50:14 > 0:50:16I've learnt too much this week.
0:50:16 > 0:50:19I've learnt how to talk to people better,
0:50:19 > 0:50:22I've learnt how to get up out of a room and not to be lazy,
0:50:22 > 0:50:26I've learnt to go out and have better highs than smoke weed.
0:50:27 > 0:50:31I want to be a dad, definitely. I'm responsible for bringing him into the world
0:50:31 > 0:50:35and there's nothing worse than being brought up without a dad.
0:50:39 > 0:50:42At first it was like pulling teeth to get her to talk,
0:50:42 > 0:50:45"I don't wanna talk about it, I don't wanna talk about it".
0:50:45 > 0:50:49She wouldn't talk about anything and then after a bit of prompting,
0:50:49 > 0:50:52as we got more familiar with each other and comfortable,
0:50:52 > 0:50:56she opened up slowly, so I see some growth in that area.
0:50:58 > 0:51:02I've learnt maybe I should help others a bit more
0:51:02 > 0:51:04instead of just thinking about myself.
0:51:04 > 0:51:10And not to go out as much and drink and get drunk and...yeah.
0:51:10 > 0:51:14I'm going to try and like talk to my mum
0:51:14 > 0:51:16and build bridges with her and that.
0:51:28 > 0:51:32I just want to say goodbye, thanks a lot for coming out this week.
0:51:32 > 0:51:33Thanks for having me.
0:51:33 > 0:51:37Give me a hug, I'm going to miss you.
0:51:37 > 0:51:39- Bye.- See you.
0:51:40 > 0:51:43Have a good trip, see you.
0:51:46 > 0:51:48We've just loved having them here this week.
0:51:48 > 0:51:50We did.
0:51:50 > 0:51:53And I think we got a positive outcome.
0:51:53 > 0:51:54Sad to see them go.
0:52:12 > 0:52:17Hopefully this time away maybe has made both of us think and, er...
0:52:17 > 0:52:19think about one another.
0:52:21 > 0:52:26So as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder and I feel I've missed her.
0:52:33 > 0:52:37- Hi, Mum.- Hi, stranger.
0:52:37 > 0:52:39How are you? Are you tanned?
0:52:39 > 0:52:41I'm black!
0:52:42 > 0:52:46I'm sorry about my behaviour,
0:52:46 > 0:52:48but there was one day at the thing,
0:52:48 > 0:52:52they made me like talk about my dad and I got really upset.
0:52:52 > 0:52:57Jade, since all these things happen. I didn't see you cry.
0:52:57 > 0:52:59You were suffering in silence.
0:52:59 > 0:53:03I've seen the impact of grief on people.
0:53:03 > 0:53:07I've been there, I know, I know what I'm talking about.
0:53:07 > 0:53:10I'm glad that at least you are aware,
0:53:10 > 0:53:13you'll be able to deal with this.
0:53:17 > 0:53:22We talked and that and it was like...
0:53:22 > 0:53:23it was good.
0:53:23 > 0:53:26'I would say it's the beginning'
0:53:26 > 0:53:28because that goes to show
0:53:28 > 0:53:32that she has insight into what she's been doing.
0:53:32 > 0:53:35Hopefully it all keeps on going good, innit?
0:53:43 > 0:53:45This is his chance of a lifetime
0:53:45 > 0:53:49for him to go and do this - if he comes back and goes straight back to his old ways,
0:53:49 > 0:53:51it would devastate me, I'd be really upset.
0:53:51 > 0:53:53There's my humble home.
0:53:53 > 0:53:57'It's important that he's changed for him, he's got a young baby,'
0:53:57 > 0:54:00he needs to actually grow up a little bit and stop being a kid.
0:54:00 > 0:54:04- You all right?- Yeah, you?
0:54:04 > 0:54:06- I ain't too bad.- Yeah?
0:54:07 > 0:54:09- I missed you.- Yeah? - How was your week?
0:54:09 > 0:54:11I missed you as well, mate.
0:54:15 > 0:54:17- Have I got a new Connor?- Hm-mm.
0:54:22 > 0:54:24How did it go?
0:54:24 > 0:54:26Oh, it was brilliant, I loved it, every moment of it.
0:54:26 > 0:54:29The stuff I did was incredible. I ain't touching weed again,
0:54:29 > 0:54:33no way, the stuff I've seen, no way!
0:54:33 > 0:54:37I've never cried when you've come home before, mate.
0:54:37 > 0:54:40I loved it, every moment of it, it was brilliant,
0:54:40 > 0:54:41I've got so much to tell.
0:54:41 > 0:54:44Every day just changed my life completely.
0:54:45 > 0:54:48I took your tenner which I'm not proud of and I'm sorry.
0:54:48 > 0:54:52Obviously I wasn't in the right mind and if I get money, if I get a job,
0:54:52 > 0:54:55I will give you it back, so I'm sorry about that.
0:54:55 > 0:54:56I shouldn't have lied.
0:55:01 > 0:55:02Oh, come here.
0:55:05 > 0:55:09I don't feel weird at all I'm just glad everything's changing
0:55:09 > 0:55:11and everything's more happy and different.
0:55:11 > 0:55:14I've never been like this with my family before it's just great
0:55:14 > 0:55:17to all come back together.
0:55:17 > 0:55:20Yeah, I just feel so happy I've had this experience,
0:55:20 > 0:55:23it has changed my life around,
0:55:23 > 0:55:25and I owe it to Denise and Rob, to be honest.
0:55:29 > 0:55:32I have been seeing Louis a bit more
0:55:32 > 0:55:35and it's a lot better, he's actually starting
0:55:35 > 0:55:36to realize I'm his dad.
0:55:36 > 0:55:40It's just really nice to see him smile with me and know who I am.
0:55:40 > 0:55:41One, two, three.
0:55:41 > 0:55:43When I was on drugs and drink and all that,
0:55:43 > 0:55:47I didn't really care to be honest, the only thing I cared about
0:55:47 > 0:55:49was getting high, but now I would drop anything
0:55:49 > 0:55:52to be with him, he actually means so much to me.
0:55:52 > 0:55:54It's an incredible feeling,
0:55:54 > 0:55:56it's one of the best feelings in the world.
0:55:59 > 0:56:02I'm not cleaning the bloody chairs.
0:56:02 > 0:56:05- 'Next time on The World's Strictest Parents...'- Just leave.
0:56:05 > 0:56:07..stroppy Essex girl, Georgie Weare...
0:56:07 > 0:56:09Have you washed your hands?
0:56:09 > 0:56:11..and party animal, Callum Watson....
0:56:11 > 0:56:13Suck it dry! Suck it dry.
0:56:13 > 0:56:17..get new parents in North Carolina.
0:56:17 > 0:56:19You're not out with it every single day.
0:56:19 > 0:56:21You cannot treat adults like that.
0:56:21 > 0:56:24- Put your smoke out. - There...have it.
0:56:24 > 0:56:27- You lied to me.- I'm getting very frustrated right now.
0:56:27 > 0:56:30I don't care if you're frustrated or not, OK?!
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