0:00:02 > 0:00:03This programme contains strong language.
0:00:03 > 0:00:06Across Britain, many teenagers are out of control.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08Come get me, drinking underage!
0:00:08 > 0:00:11And parents don't know which way to turn.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14I think she's a spoilt little cow. She treats me like a slave...
0:00:14 > 0:00:17I'm not coming back today, by the way. See you in 20 years!
0:00:17 > 0:00:20- Do not swear at me! - Dad, just be quiet!
0:00:21 > 0:00:24This year, 12 wayward British teens
0:00:24 > 0:00:28volunteered to experience firm discipline and strict rules,
0:00:28 > 0:00:31in the far corners of the globe.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33- Lay off! - Move out! Move out!
0:00:33 > 0:00:34- Get off!- Just move out!
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Don't be so useless, man. Come on!
0:00:36 > 0:00:38The world does not revolve around you.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Trying to walk away, she's following me.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48We find out if their experiences made any lasting impression
0:00:48 > 0:00:51on their lives back home.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54The Lees made me think, Yeah, I can do it. I can do it.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57"If I want to do it, just go for it."
0:00:57 > 0:00:59I am just gobsmacked.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01It's just like a new kid, you know.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04It was definitely the best experience so far, in my life.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07I would not go back if you paid me. I couldn't stand 'em.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Five months ago,
0:01:19 > 0:01:23Hamzah Wali always liked to act the big man.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Spending time hitting the town with his mates
0:01:26 > 0:01:29was more important than studying mechanics at college.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Absent, absent, absent... no, Mum,
0:01:31 > 0:01:33I don't need those exams...
0:01:34 > 0:01:36No, I don't, Mum. Relax.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40I'm not lying.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Hamzah's behaviour had his traditional
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Pakistani family fearing the worst.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49They pick and choose for me. I don't want that.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52To me, it seems as if Hamzah's just lost that respect,
0:01:52 > 0:01:55and he's lost himself.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Privately educated schoolgirl Charlie Denny
0:01:59 > 0:02:02treated life like one big joke.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04There's nothing serious to my life
0:02:04 > 0:02:06and I refuse to take anything seriously.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Come and get me, I'm drinking under age.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12I'll go out about three or four times a week,
0:02:12 > 0:02:13down nine or ten pints.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Bringing Charlotte up has been a very,
0:02:16 > 0:02:18very challenging experience,
0:02:18 > 0:02:19from day one.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22She has been somebody who does not accept
0:02:22 > 0:02:24the word, "no".
0:02:24 > 0:02:27To make matters worse,
0:02:27 > 0:02:29dad Bob has multiple sclerosis,
0:02:29 > 0:02:33a disease that attacks nerves in the brain cells and spinal cord.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37But no-one talked about it.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40She was quite young when you were first diagnosed,
0:02:40 > 0:02:41probably four or five,
0:02:41 > 0:02:44and probably too young to understand what it was then.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48I don't really talk to my dad about my future or anything
0:02:48 > 0:02:52cos he's probably got his own stuff going on, you know,
0:02:52 > 0:02:54and you know why would he want to hear about that?
0:02:56 > 0:02:59- Hi!- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03The British teens were sent over 6,000 miles to South Africa,
0:03:03 > 0:03:07to live with the du Toit-de Vos family in Plettenberg Bay.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08Mums Anna-Marie and Suzanne
0:03:08 > 0:03:13fought to change the laws preventing gay couples from adopting children -
0:03:13 > 0:03:16and won. They successfully raised
0:03:16 > 0:03:17two children together.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19As long as you live in this house,
0:03:19 > 0:03:22doesn't matter whether you are 22 or 12,
0:03:22 > 0:03:25you have to follow our rules and principles,
0:03:25 > 0:03:28honesty, responsibility...
0:03:28 > 0:03:29Compassion.
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Charlie and Hamzah
0:03:33 > 0:03:37had no idea who they would be staying with.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41- Are those two blokes?- No, don't say that. I think that's a woman.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Actually, no, is it two women?
0:03:44 > 0:03:45Oi, there's two women, what the...
0:03:45 > 0:03:49I didn't want to get out, I didn't want to meet these maties, bro...
0:03:49 > 0:03:51You going? I ain't going. Arrr...
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Two women...
0:03:53 > 0:03:56'And then, like, we got out and met them and I was just
0:03:56 > 0:03:58thinking to myself, "Raw, man."
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Like you could just, straight away, tell,
0:04:01 > 0:04:03my face just dropped.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06- Hi, guys!- As soon as Suzanne hugged me, I thought,
0:04:06 > 0:04:09"Why is she hugging me? She don't even know me.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11"What's going on here?" I mean, I wasn't used to that.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15Definitely wasn't used to that. I thought to myself,"Raw, bro,
0:04:15 > 0:04:17"where's the other one? If this one's hugging me,
0:04:17 > 0:04:20- "what's the other one going to do?" Know what I mean?- So...
0:04:20 > 0:04:24Me and Hamzah instantly knew which one was the disciplined one
0:04:24 > 0:04:26and which one was the kind motherly type,
0:04:26 > 0:04:29cos we got Anna-Marie, handshake, Suzanne, hug,
0:04:29 > 0:04:32and I was thinking, "I know who's in charge."
0:04:32 > 0:04:34"That's it, I've been put in my place."
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Barrister Anna-Marie ran a tight ship,
0:04:39 > 0:04:41wasting no time laying down the law.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43No drinking, no drugs,
0:04:43 > 0:04:46no sex or obscene language whilst staying with us.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Definitely no smoking in the house.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51We get up at six thirty...
0:04:51 > 0:04:52I've got a problem with that.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54You won't have a problem.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58I thought, "I'm not taking rules from women." Fuck that, I'm a man.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02They've got to take rules from me you know, that's how it's going to work.
0:05:04 > 0:05:05It's six thirty.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08As part of the du Toit-de Vos family,
0:05:08 > 0:05:11the British teens were expected to pitch in with the daily running
0:05:11 > 0:05:13of the farm.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15I feel like a slave.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Fuck this, I ain't doing this, man.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19I think it was eight minutes, I'd say,
0:05:19 > 0:05:23eight minutes before I chucked the spade and walked off,
0:05:23 > 0:05:25I gave up that quick.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32Listen, Hamzah, I'm not quite sure where you think you are.
0:05:32 > 0:05:33Look at me when I speak to you.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35You are a child in this house.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39I am your parent while your parents are not here, OK?
0:05:39 > 0:05:41I don't care whether you like planting trees.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44I don't care whether you think it's a good idea
0:05:44 > 0:05:46or whether it's purposeless or purposeful.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48You know what I care about,
0:05:48 > 0:05:50I care about the fact that you, at the moment,
0:05:50 > 0:05:52are living a purposeless life,
0:05:52 > 0:05:54and you know that and that's why you are here.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Put down that cigarette.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57- Can I finish it?- No.
0:05:57 > 0:06:01I have had enough of you, kill that cigarette now.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Just do me a favour and for once put some
0:06:03 > 0:06:04effort into your life.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Don't be so useless, man - come on!
0:06:06 > 0:06:09My mum wouldn't come up to my face and do that,
0:06:09 > 0:06:11and a woman doing that, the way she
0:06:11 > 0:06:12came up to my face and had a go at me,
0:06:12 > 0:06:15the way she told me to throw my cigarette away and get in the car
0:06:15 > 0:06:17and she was still having a go at me,
0:06:17 > 0:06:20so I definitely respected her much more,
0:06:20 > 0:06:22and saw her in a different light.
0:06:23 > 0:06:27Hamzah will never forget the day Anna-Marie took him to the township
0:06:27 > 0:06:29to rebuild a shack.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33Definitely made me appreciate a lot of things I've got at home,
0:06:33 > 0:06:37cos they don't have nothing, and I felt so bad for them,
0:06:37 > 0:06:40and I was thinking I need to appreciate more things.
0:06:40 > 0:06:41What do you think, hey?
0:06:41 > 0:06:44- That looks crazy, that does. - Isn't that brilliant?
0:06:44 > 0:06:48It made me appreciate what Anna-Marie did for me, and me not putting effort in
0:06:48 > 0:06:50is just a big smack in their face.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52The last time I dug a hole, yeah,
0:06:52 > 0:06:55I moaned like a little girl, I admit that.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59And I was a bit stupid, I didn't, you know, see the point of doing it,
0:06:59 > 0:07:01but this time I'm doing it, I'm really enjoying it
0:07:01 > 0:07:04and I never thought I would enjoy it this much,
0:07:04 > 0:07:07and I just want to say, "Thank you so much." Honestly...
0:07:07 > 0:07:10It's an absolute, absolute pleasure. Thank you.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12That's all right.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15When I went there and helped out and I realized, man, you know
0:07:15 > 0:07:18I can do this stuff at home, you know, if I can do it here.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Charlie finally opened up about her feelings,
0:07:23 > 0:07:27when Suzanne took her to an animal rescue mission.
0:07:27 > 0:07:28It's all right, it's all right.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30There we go.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34The owners stabbed him
0:07:34 > 0:07:36because they couldn't afford to feed him
0:07:36 > 0:07:38and they don't want him back.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41I just think that's, you know, that's awful.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47The animal shelter got to me.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50It's just, like, all these sweet animals and putting them down,
0:07:50 > 0:07:52it was just, like, awful.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55What you did today made a big difference.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57A really big difference.
0:07:57 > 0:07:58I hope so.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02Absolutely. And it was a braver thing than most people do in...
0:08:02 > 0:08:03their lives, sometimes.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07It was so nice to hear that Suzanne telling me how I made her proud,
0:08:07 > 0:08:10and I thought, "I just want to do that with my own parents."
0:08:10 > 0:08:12I didn't really do anything to make them proud
0:08:12 > 0:08:16and that was a bit nasty and made me feel I wasn't achieving anything,
0:08:16 > 0:08:17wasn't getting on with anything.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Goodbye, my sweetheart. You look after yourself.
0:08:25 > 0:08:26I want to say thank you so much
0:08:26 > 0:08:28for giving us the opportunity
0:08:28 > 0:08:30and you are lovely parents
0:08:30 > 0:08:32and I have a lot of love for you.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35I didn't want to go home, I wanted to stay,
0:08:35 > 0:08:37I wanted to lose my passport, something, please,
0:08:37 > 0:08:40cos they did so much for us in that week, and it went so quick,
0:08:40 > 0:08:44so, you know, I was a little sad that I had to go.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53I know someone who will be pleased to see you.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55God, it's been ten days.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Hello, sweetie. How are you? All right?
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Before her trip to South Africa,
0:09:02 > 0:09:05Charlie never talked to her dad about her feeling on his illness.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08It worries me sometimes, Dad. It's not like I can pretend
0:09:08 > 0:09:09it's not happening.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11It might be helpful for you to read
0:09:11 > 0:09:14some of the notes from the neurologist,
0:09:14 > 0:09:18cos you're growing up now and that will give you some insight,
0:09:18 > 0:09:21what might or might not happen, we don't know.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24I said, "Dad, we need to talk about this."
0:09:24 > 0:09:28He starts mentioning letters from the neurologist and I'm thinking,
0:09:28 > 0:09:31"No, Dad, it's not about letters from someone else,
0:09:31 > 0:09:34"it's about the words coming from your mouth,
0:09:34 > 0:09:35"what you're saying,
0:09:35 > 0:09:39"not about what some other guy has written a report about you, you know,
0:09:39 > 0:09:40"it's not about that,
0:09:40 > 0:09:43"it's about our relationship about us talking..."
0:09:43 > 0:09:46and so I think that's definitely helped us open up
0:09:46 > 0:09:48and we're definitely getting on much better now.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52You can't go in there, no, what are you doing?
0:09:52 > 0:09:54So turn it... that's it, that's better...
0:09:54 > 0:09:58Maybe the life experience that she's had in South Africa
0:09:58 > 0:10:01has triggered her to think about
0:10:01 > 0:10:04other people a little bit more
0:10:04 > 0:10:05and that includes us.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Hello, Dad.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23I'll just fold all this, then, yeah.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28My life was in the gutter, I'll tell you that, but now it's not,
0:10:28 > 0:10:31I'm seeing things, quite, in a positive side, you know,
0:10:31 > 0:10:33I'm getting along with people,
0:10:33 > 0:10:35I'm enjoying life more than I used to.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- I love you!- Ah, Mumsy...!
0:10:38 > 0:10:42Hamzah understands what I think family values are now,
0:10:42 > 0:10:44and he does value that time
0:10:44 > 0:10:46whether that be spending five minutes with my mum,
0:10:46 > 0:10:49or whether that's five minutes with my dad,
0:10:49 > 0:10:50it's fun.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Don't get emotional, chill...relax!
0:10:53 > 0:10:56I have been kind of focusing on my religion as well a bit more.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59I've started to go to the mosque, so it's a good thing
0:10:59 > 0:11:01and Mum and Dad are happy with that.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Before Hamzah went away he wasn't praying at all.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07In that sense I think he's proud of himself that he is trying
0:11:07 > 0:11:11and then it's making my parents quite proud of him as well.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14If it weren't for Anna-Marie and Suzanne
0:11:14 > 0:11:16I wouldn't have seen the stuff that I saw
0:11:16 > 0:11:18and the way I'd be feeling,
0:11:18 > 0:11:21and the way, how I open up and that, so
0:11:21 > 0:11:24I would thank them for making me see you don't need drugs,
0:11:24 > 0:11:26you don't need alcohol, you don't need cigarettes,
0:11:26 > 0:11:28all this kind of stuff to have a good time.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Shola,
0:11:40 > 0:11:42stop swearing - what's wrong with you?
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Want me to leave the kettle on the cooker?
0:11:44 > 0:11:48She will not be told about anything, thinks she knows everything.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Three months ago, 17-year-old Shola Bruce-Coker
0:11:51 > 0:11:53only cared about how she looked.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56She wants to shock people all the time
0:11:56 > 0:11:58with her appearance, her language...
0:11:58 > 0:12:03she loves to stand out in a crowd, loves to be the centre of attention.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Having done OK at GCSEs,
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Shola preferred to study the boys
0:12:11 > 0:12:12instead of the books.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14She's done exams, I've never seen her revise,
0:12:14 > 0:12:18she thinks she's failed already before she's even got the results.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Her mother Andrea was at her wits' end.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24If this is how she's spending her free time,
0:12:24 > 0:12:25I'm glad I've seen it in my own home
0:12:25 > 0:12:28to know she's more out of control than I thought.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34I love this girl!
0:12:35 > 0:12:38The party doesn't start until I get there!
0:12:38 > 0:12:43Joining Shola was 18-year-old Joiee Birch,
0:12:43 > 0:12:46who was binge drinking in order to fit in with the crowd.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Your inhibitions go away
0:12:49 > 0:12:51so it's easier to like, talk to people,
0:12:51 > 0:12:54to make new friends, to make conversation.
0:12:56 > 0:12:57Joiee was a shy youngster
0:12:57 > 0:12:59and always found it hard to make friends.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Unfortunately for him there was nobody around the area
0:13:02 > 0:13:05of his age or that he got on with.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07He's very much a loner
0:13:07 > 0:13:10and suddenly now he's gone the opposite way,
0:13:10 > 0:13:12he's got a large circle of friends
0:13:12 > 0:13:16who we know very little about, to be truthful.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Despite being talented at art,
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Joiee had flunked out of college
0:13:20 > 0:13:24and spent last year boozing and partying.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26I just feel like I don't really have much direction
0:13:26 > 0:13:30and I think that's partly why I go out and get wasted
0:13:30 > 0:13:32because you don't have to think about reality,
0:13:32 > 0:13:34you just sort of escape it.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39I'm Shola.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41- I'm Joiee, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47Shola and Joiee were sent to Gurgaon in Northern India,
0:13:47 > 0:13:51to stay in a luxury gated community with the Virk family.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53For an uncontrolled child,
0:13:53 > 0:13:55definitely whoever comes to live with us
0:13:55 > 0:13:57we're definitely a match for them.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Education is key to the Virks.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03In 18 days if you tell me there's no Chemistry, well, I'm a fool.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06I am where I am today due to education, you know.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10If there is any page on which you are not circled red
0:14:10 > 0:14:12then you can let me know.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14And if we can shape our children, we can shape any child.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Arriving in India,
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Joiee immediately resorted to alcohol to deal with his stress.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25I had this bottle of gin and I thought,
0:14:25 > 0:14:27"Put some in a water bottle",
0:14:27 > 0:14:29so I can disguise it because it's clear.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32I didn't know if they were going to search us or anything like that
0:14:32 > 0:14:36so I just thought, "I have to be like one step ahead of them."
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Oh, my God,
0:14:38 > 0:14:39I can see them.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42With introductions out of the way,
0:14:42 > 0:14:45the dad, Ashwani, got straight to the point.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49Wear respectable Indian and Western clothes, Indian girls definitely,
0:14:49 > 0:14:51respect is to cover their body.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53I'm in India but I'm not Indian.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Sometimes, someone's image means a lot to someone.
0:14:55 > 0:15:00- Of course. The most important, drinking liquor. - What, like alcohol? No.
0:15:00 > 0:15:04Obviously, I'm wasn't just going to give up my fags and booze.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Like, what would be the point in going there and being like,
0:15:07 > 0:15:10"By the way, I brought some alcohol and some cigarettes." No.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12HE LAUGHS
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Let's go and get drunk.
0:15:17 > 0:15:22The teens' cunning plan to deceive the family had worked.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26It was part of my plan to be sly and see how much we could get away with.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29I like to think I'm pretty clever at being pretty cunning.
0:15:29 > 0:15:34This is day one and I'm already calling time out, you know what I mean?
0:15:34 > 0:15:36No-one's clocked, I don't think.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39No-one's really... I think they think we're a bit weird.
0:15:42 > 0:15:47But Joiee paid a heavy price when he was woken at 6am the next morning.
0:15:47 > 0:15:53- Joiee, good morning.- Oh! 'Honestly, I've never had such a bad hangover.'
0:15:53 > 0:16:00Oh, my God, my head was pounding so bad. I've never felt so... It was horrible.
0:16:00 > 0:16:04I think hangovers in India are ten times worse than this country.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08But if it wasn't the booze, it was the fags.
0:16:08 > 0:16:12The minute Shola and Joiee got to school, they sparked up.
0:16:12 > 0:16:13GIRLS INDISTINCT
0:16:15 > 0:16:17We're rebels, we don't care.
0:16:17 > 0:16:18HE LAUGHS
0:16:18 > 0:16:21We started smoking as soon as we got there, obviously.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23I was stressed out about the whole thing.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27I wasn't taking it seriously, I thought it was just a laugh.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30- When the security guard came and asked me... - HE GIGGLES
0:16:30 > 0:16:35Suspecting more contraband, the head ordered a search.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Where are you going?
0:16:38 > 0:16:42With gin stashed away, Joiee wasn't keen to co-operate.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45- Get off me, please. - No.- Please! Let me calm down then.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Oh, just get off me!
0:16:47 > 0:16:51I was saying they're not going to search my bag. I was defiant on that.
0:16:51 > 0:16:56But, they weren't backing down either, so I was like, "Fucking hell."
0:16:56 > 0:16:58Oh.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01I was freaked out, to be honest. I'd had enough then.
0:17:08 > 0:17:13Change for Joiee came after he was thrown out of school
0:17:13 > 0:17:16and dad Ashwani tried to understand his bad behaviour.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19I think it's good the fact they want to sit down and talk to you
0:17:19 > 0:17:23and if you've any problems, you get them aired out in the open.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27Everyone says what they think and, after it, you feel a lot better because...
0:17:29 > 0:17:31..it's, like, resolved.
0:17:31 > 0:17:38Whereas in my house, there are issues that carry on.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40There's never a resolution.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Sparks flew when Shola refused to wear a headscarf
0:17:47 > 0:17:49in honour of Ashwani's dead father.
0:17:49 > 0:17:54You can't just walk out, you have to finish this argument right now.
0:17:54 > 0:17:58- Or you walk out of the house from here?- I'm not going out. - You can't go out.
0:17:58 > 0:18:02- You want me to take you out? - I'm getting a fucking light. - You said "fucking".
0:18:02 > 0:18:06- 0h for...!- JOIEE: I think she's being disrespectful.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08- Why are you using this word? - What's your problem?
0:18:08 > 0:18:12- "What's your problem?" Don't say "fucking" in my house. - Get off me!
0:18:12 > 0:18:15- Just move out of my house! - Get off me!
0:18:15 > 0:18:18- Don't try to... Get off me!- Move out!
0:18:18 > 0:18:22- Move out!- Get off!- Just move out! You're not allowed here.- Fuck off!
0:18:22 > 0:18:27I don't even remember what he looked like at time, it was such adrenaline.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30I just remember him chucking me out.
0:18:30 > 0:18:36- Just move out!- That's what I'm doing. Get off me! I swear to God!- Outside!- Fuck you!
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Fuck off!
0:18:40 > 0:18:45As soon as he shut the door on my face, it was like reality.
0:18:45 > 0:18:50In London, if that happened, I'd have friends to stay at. I know my way around.
0:18:50 > 0:18:55But, in India, I was completely isolated from everything and everyone. I didn't have a choice.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59I had to literally sit outside and think about what I was going to do.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02I definitely thought it was disrespectful
0:19:02 > 0:19:05the fact that she kicked off the way she did.
0:19:05 > 0:19:06But, I think,
0:19:06 > 0:19:11I don't know, she probably figured out in the end that she was in the wrong.
0:19:17 > 0:19:18I'm sorry.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23I didn't mean to disrespect, I over-reacted.
0:19:23 > 0:19:29It's really hurt me, by doing what I've done to you, also. Shola.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Go and sleep and be ready for the morning.
0:19:32 > 0:19:36Even at the time, I didn't think I was right, after he kicked me out, but,
0:19:36 > 0:19:38I didn't want to have to go in.
0:19:38 > 0:19:42I hate saying sorry to people. I hate it. I never say sorry to people.
0:19:43 > 0:19:48So it was really weird. When I eventually said sorry to him, is like a big difference.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52THEY CHANT
0:19:54 > 0:19:58The next day, Shola was on her best behaviour at the temple.
0:19:58 > 0:20:04Surprisingly, I am less bothered about my appearance unless it's a big event.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07Like, I don't mind going down to Sainsbury's in my pyjamas.
0:20:07 > 0:20:08I'm not fussed.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11I don't mind just having no make-up on.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20When Joiee returned to school, he left the booze and fags behind.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24Who wants to talk about the poster they made? Who will come forward?
0:20:25 > 0:20:29Joiee, do you want to take your turn? Would you like to talk about it?
0:20:31 > 0:20:33- Hi. - HE GIGGLES
0:20:33 > 0:20:38I made my poster. Obviously, it's about water conservation.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41My slogan is "conserving water in the present for a better future".
0:20:41 > 0:20:46Because, obviously, like, you need to, like, prepare for the future,
0:20:46 > 0:20:52- um, by, like, acting now, yeah? That's my poster. - It's very nice.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54APPLAUSE
0:20:54 > 0:20:58It makes you appreciate the fact that I might have thrown away
0:20:58 > 0:21:01all my education and I didn't give a shit.
0:21:01 > 0:21:05It makes you think, "Right, OK, I got it fucked up in the past."
0:21:05 > 0:21:09But I'm keen to sort of get more focused on the future.
0:21:11 > 0:21:16Having found his voice in public, Joiee made a discovery.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20All gone. 'I've learned here you can deal with problems in other ways.'
0:21:20 > 0:21:25I don't feel I need the alcohol any more. There's no reason to have it.
0:21:32 > 0:21:38It's definitely made me realise how important family is in the grand scheme of things.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Seeing them, bonding with them as a family,
0:21:41 > 0:21:46in a short amount of time, made me want a better relationship with my mum and dad. Definitely.
0:21:46 > 0:21:52- Bye, Mum. - You, too. And take care of your mum, as well. Both of you.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54When I spent time with the mum over there,
0:21:54 > 0:21:57it made me want to spend more time back in London with my mum.
0:21:57 > 0:22:02Because, maybe, that's why our relationship isn't that great.
0:22:20 > 0:22:24Shola!
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Mwah!
0:22:27 > 0:22:31- I've missed you so much. Honestly, I really have.- I missed you.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Get over that side.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37I'm definitely a lot calmer. That's the one thing I have noticed.
0:22:37 > 0:22:42Before the trip I was stressed about everything. I'd like argue about everything.
0:22:42 > 0:22:47But I've been so calm since I got back. Everything is just easy.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Now you've got black hair you can wear any colour.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53I just don't want to stand out. I'll look like a big flower.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Her future does look better than before she went away
0:22:56 > 0:22:59because she was not bothered about even going back to college.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02"If I fail all my lessons, it doesn't matter.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06"I can just go out and get a job." She thinks it is that easy. I think now she realises
0:23:06 > 0:23:11it's harder to get a job, she needs qualifications and she needs to carry on in college.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17I can see a lot more glimpses of the caring, sharing Shola that she used to be.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21It is little steps but eventually I think she'll get there.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25- Hello!- Hello!
0:23:30 > 0:23:33- Hiya.- Are you all right? - I'm fine. Hiya.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37- Did you have a good time, kidda? - It's been fantastic.
0:23:44 > 0:23:49I think like it made me realise, being in India, how much my parents do actually do for me.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53It's made me want to like give back a little bit, and help out.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55It's not such a bad thing really.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58It's easier to help out when you're sober.
0:23:58 > 0:24:02If you're hungover, it's horrible. But...!
0:24:02 > 0:24:06I definitely would say he's happier. And happier to be at home and be around us
0:24:06 > 0:24:09and not trying to get out with his friends all the time.
0:24:09 > 0:24:14Since I've been home I think I have definitely had more of a focus.
0:24:14 > 0:24:19Like doing my artwork is something I shouldn't have given up on.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Being in India did sort of reignite that spark.
0:24:21 > 0:24:27to have some motivation and actually do something I'm pretty good at.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34Guys, it's all about me. It's going to be about me anyway!
0:24:34 > 0:24:38Five months ago, 17-year-old Georgie Weare's behaviour
0:24:38 > 0:24:41- had spiralled out of control. - Georgie!
0:24:41 > 0:24:45Any attempt at challenging her wasn't worth the angry outburst.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Have you washed your hands?
0:24:48 > 0:24:52- It's Georgie's way or no way. - What?! Don't stare at me!
0:24:52 > 0:24:55She's smashed things, her language is atrocious.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58She's just a cow really.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Georgie's parents had had an acrimonious divorce,
0:25:01 > 0:25:03which was tough on her as the youngest.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07- You look very smart. - You look very horrible.
0:25:07 > 0:25:11- Big day, isn't it? - You're a bitch!
0:25:11 > 0:25:14I've built up a character of having to be bolshie and loud.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18This is the real Georgie and I feel like having a good drink, having a laugh!
0:25:18 > 0:25:21I was so far down a road, you can't really turn around.
0:25:23 > 0:25:30Joining Georgie was 17-year-old Manchester party boy Callum Watson.
0:25:30 > 0:25:34On a good night out we go in a bar, just have a ball really. It's what you are going out for.
0:25:34 > 0:25:38But it was not just his binge drinking that was worrying his mum.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41I have took LSD, cocaine, ecstasy...
0:25:41 > 0:25:47..weed, MDMA, ketamine. All fun though really!
0:25:47 > 0:25:50The worst thing for me is some policeman knocking on my door
0:25:50 > 0:25:53telling me that they've dragged a body out of the canal.
0:25:53 > 0:25:58With parties and socialising taking priority, Callum struggled with college.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Callum was pulling As and Bs.
0:26:01 > 0:26:07Now he's pulling Ds. I think he's already had a warning saying he might have to resit the year.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09I'm not getting out of bed. I don't want to yet.
0:26:09 > 0:26:13I can't be arsed with much. I'm just a lazy person.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16- Hello!- Hello.- Let's have a hug.- Aw!
0:26:16 > 0:26:19- Nice to meet you. What's your name? - Callum.- I'm Georgie.- Hello.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22The British teens were sent to Charlotte, North Carolina,
0:26:22 > 0:26:25to live with Chinese-American family, the Lees.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28The Lees had strong family values
0:26:28 > 0:26:32and very high expectations of their two children.
0:26:32 > 0:26:37In a traditional Chinese family, we're all thinking that education is the most important thing.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40My children all understand if they don't do well
0:26:40 > 0:26:43they will bring shame to the family.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45They will face the consequences.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50SCREECHING
0:26:50 > 0:26:52No way! Oh no!
0:26:52 > 0:26:58- I'm Callum.- Zsa Zsa.- Zsa Zsa? Hello. - Benjamin, Benjamin Lee.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01In England you don't really see Chinese people have big houses.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05You just see them like in the Chinese place down there or something like that!
0:27:05 > 0:27:11Or in the chippies! You don't expect to see them with massive houses. It was a culture shock, basically.
0:27:11 > 0:27:17They were stood there on the steps, big cheesy smiles on their face.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19I was like, "Oh my God, they're robots!"
0:27:19 > 0:27:25Rule number one, respect your parents and elders at all times.
0:27:25 > 0:27:29Yeah, that's all right. If we give you respect, we get respect back.
0:27:29 > 0:27:33Smoking and drinking are off limits.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Absolutely no drugs.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39Do you have any contraband that we should be aware of?
0:27:39 > 0:27:45- Like what? - Just like, smoke or anything?- Nope.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49- No, I haven't.- Are you sure? - No.
0:27:49 > 0:27:53- The rules are shit.- Yeah, I know. - I will have cigarettes.
0:27:53 > 0:27:57When somebody says you can't smoke it makes you want to smoke a lot more.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00So if they were to say, "Right, you're allowed a few", it doesn't bother me.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03But if they say no completely, that's just awful.
0:28:03 > 0:28:07It's just... it's completely stupid. It was a stupid rule.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10- We've got to go. - And rules are made to be broken.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13- Would you like to hand over your smokes?- No.
0:28:13 > 0:28:18- If I can just have that one and then that's it.- No.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21- There! Have it!- Thank you.
0:28:21 > 0:28:25Looking back on how I reacted, I could have done it differently.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29I could have sat down and talked to them, but instead I stormed off.
0:28:29 > 0:28:31And that was how I reacted at the time.
0:28:33 > 0:28:37When Benjamin took the teens and son Alex to the local rescue mission,
0:28:37 > 0:28:41relationships with the family took a major turn for the worse.
0:28:41 > 0:28:48Yours is really clean. Can we swap because you've got a really easy one? And you're a good child. So, thanks!
0:28:48 > 0:28:51I'm not switching because it's easier for you,
0:28:51 > 0:28:56- I'm doing this because I'll do a better job.- Whoa!
0:28:56 > 0:29:01This is the first time Alex come out of his perfect shell. I don't know why he did it.
0:29:01 > 0:29:05I was like, how dare you? You've known me for a day. You're not better than me.
0:29:05 > 0:29:09- I didn't say I was. I said I can do a better job on this. - Am I here doing it? Yes.
0:29:09 > 0:29:12- You're being forced to.- If I didn't want to, I wouldn't do it.
0:29:12 > 0:29:16I don't do what I don't want to. If I didn't want to do it I'd be sunbathing. But I'm doing it.
0:29:16 > 0:29:20You make me not want to with your attitude. Don't talk to me like that, end of.
0:29:20 > 0:29:24- You have the worst attitude of anyone I know.- I don't care.
0:29:24 > 0:29:31When he said I had the worst attitude, I wasn't that shocked. I have heard from so many people.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34I know myself that then I had quite a stinking attitude
0:29:34 > 0:29:37and didn't give anyone the time of day.
0:29:37 > 0:29:41But it annoyed me because he didn't even know me yet.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44They really were not doing that good of a job today.
0:29:44 > 0:29:49I think that they're perfectly OK with this because this is how they behave normally.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52George, I don't think you did a good job today.
0:29:52 > 0:29:56Alex talked to me. Come on.
0:29:56 > 0:29:58Georgie!
0:29:58 > 0:30:02She jumped in before she understood everything. She was lucky that I walked away.
0:30:02 > 0:30:05I was so angry... Oh!
0:30:05 > 0:30:08Were you there? Were you there?
0:30:08 > 0:30:13You where not there, that is the end of it. I am very frustrated right now.
0:30:13 > 0:30:15- You just lie! - Do not yell at my mom.
0:30:15 > 0:30:20Listen to how she's talking to me, and say I didn't fucking try! I am pissed off!
0:30:20 > 0:30:22The world does not revolve around you.
0:30:22 > 0:30:25I am trying to fucking walk away and she is following me.
0:30:25 > 0:30:28'She was chasing me around the house, shouting, "You're a liar!
0:30:28 > 0:30:32"you're a liar!" I was like, I am not a liar.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35- Listen, Georgie.- You are acting like a very bad kid.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37'I hated her so much.'
0:30:37 > 0:30:41If she came up to me and apologised to me, fair enough, I am not going to hold a grudge, I'm not going
0:30:41 > 0:30:46to be horrible to her, but she didn't, and she should have in my eyes. I still think that today.
0:30:49 > 0:30:52Her relationship with Zsa Zsa never recovered. Benjamin did not give up,
0:30:52 > 0:30:57and took her to the Dove's Nest, the women's section of the rescue mission.
0:30:57 > 0:31:01That is so hard! You, like, jumped! I can't do that.
0:31:01 > 0:31:03I can't do that, that is so hard.
0:31:03 > 0:31:05ENGINE REVS
0:31:05 > 0:31:06Ah, I've lost a wheel!
0:31:06 > 0:31:11The reason I got on so well with women is that they didn't expect anything from me.
0:31:11 > 0:31:14The took it as a clean sheet. They just let me be me.
0:31:14 > 0:31:19I have been a teenager, now I am a mom. So I get to see both.
0:31:19 > 0:31:21Georgie's turning point came
0:31:21 > 0:31:25when she opened up to Cindi about her relationship with her mum.
0:31:25 > 0:31:27We do not talk at all.
0:31:27 > 0:31:32She is out to lunch and doing this and this, and I'm doing my thing, we're just so separated.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35Is hard at is is for you to talk to her, I am sure that is for her.
0:31:35 > 0:31:38I didn't know how to talk to my kids.
0:31:38 > 0:31:41- I love you.- I love you, too. You taught me a lot.
0:31:41 > 0:31:44I think the Dove's Nest opened my eyes a lot.
0:31:44 > 0:31:45Because these women are trying
0:31:45 > 0:31:49so hard for something I already have. Like, a family.
0:31:49 > 0:31:50Goodbye!
0:31:50 > 0:31:55I realise that I already have that at home and I'm taking it for granted.
0:32:01 > 0:32:07Callum's wake up call happened when he got to know Rico, a former drug addict.
0:32:07 > 0:32:11One of the things that I wish that I could go back and change was the drugs and alcohol.
0:32:11 > 0:32:15For so many years, I got high. But drugs made me happy.
0:32:15 > 0:32:18Made me, you know, I like getting high.
0:32:18 > 0:32:23I never knew that eventually it would almost kill me.
0:32:23 > 0:32:26It kind of reminded me of me a little bit.
0:32:26 > 0:32:30It was kind of thinking, "Right, if I don't stop, I could end up where they are."
0:32:30 > 0:32:34And I know I'm smart, I have this ambition to get, like, and go
0:32:34 > 0:32:38and teach, but if I carry on taking drugs I am not going to reach it.
0:32:40 > 0:32:43- See ya!- I'll miss you. - I'll miss you, too.
0:32:45 > 0:32:47The Lees made me think "I can do it."
0:32:47 > 0:32:50If I want to do it I can do it. Just go for it.
0:32:50 > 0:32:54I would easily rather have stayed at the Dove's Nest than at the Lees' house.
0:32:54 > 0:32:56I would not go back to the Lees, even if you paid me.
0:32:56 > 0:33:00- I couldn't stand them. - And the feeling was mutual.
0:33:00 > 0:33:04I do hope the best for her, but at the same time I am glad she's gone.
0:33:09 > 0:33:14- Oh, freedom! Hello. - Are you all right?
0:33:23 > 0:33:28I definitely have a better relationship with my mum since I have come back.
0:33:28 > 0:33:33I find it easier to talk to her. I think I have a lot more patience now.
0:33:33 > 0:33:37I still believe there is a lot more that I can do. I do agree with that.
0:33:37 > 0:33:40But I think I have gone a long way from what I was when I was
0:33:40 > 0:33:43so angry and always so abusive and everything.
0:33:43 > 0:33:46My communication was just terrible.
0:33:46 > 0:33:49I do think that overall, it has improved a lot.
0:33:49 > 0:33:52You are too aggressive! You are too competitive.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56I feel we still have a long way to go,
0:33:56 > 0:34:01but I think we are heading in the right direction now. It is getting better. Slowly better.
0:34:05 > 0:34:07I don't care any more!
0:34:18 > 0:34:19Thank you very much.
0:34:19 > 0:34:24Since going to North Carolina, it has changed my life, it really has.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26I think the harmony has been restored in the house,
0:34:26 > 0:34:29in the fact that I know when to respect my mum
0:34:29 > 0:34:32and it has put my ambition back on the right track.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34I want to know when I'm going to go, how I'm going to do it,
0:34:34 > 0:34:37and if I ever need help I can always ask the Lee family.
0:34:40 > 0:34:44Treats you like a baby, doesn't he, mate? 'Callum knows he has to have self-discipline.'
0:34:44 > 0:34:49That if you want to achieve, HE'S got to do it. I can't drag him there.
0:34:49 > 0:34:51He has to drag himself.
0:34:51 > 0:34:54I have got a young man, with aspirations
0:34:54 > 0:34:58and the drive to go through his aspirations now.
0:35:00 > 0:35:05I got two Bs is in biology, two Cs in chemistry and a C and a B in drama.
0:35:05 > 0:35:09- Well done! - 'I am very glad I went on it.'
0:35:09 > 0:35:11It was an experience I will never forget.
0:35:11 > 0:35:14I will never forget the Lee family for what they have done.
0:35:23 > 0:35:27- I just want money! - I ain't got no money. I gave you - what did I tell you?
0:35:27 > 0:35:30- I don't care, just give me money. - No, you've got no money.
0:35:30 > 0:35:33You get your own money now, yeah? That's what's going to happen.
0:35:33 > 0:35:36Fucking idiot.
0:35:36 > 0:35:41Two months ago, spoiled college dropout Remzi Tomlin took everything from his father.
0:35:41 > 0:35:47- Can I just have money?- How much do you need?- I don't know, just money.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50I will just give you a tenner, that is all I've got.
0:35:52 > 0:35:57Remzi blew all his dad's money on clothes and parties.
0:35:57 > 0:35:58If I see something I buy it, even though I don't need it.
0:35:58 > 0:36:01I know I am spoiled, but if they said no when I was younger,
0:36:01 > 0:36:04I wouldn't be like this.
0:36:05 > 0:36:10Joining him a 16-year-old Btyony Harris, who had a very short fuse.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12I'll get you a drink, but I'll get you a small bottle.
0:36:12 > 0:36:15Dad, that is what you always do! Fucking hell!
0:36:15 > 0:36:17Bryony, please, stop swearing.
0:36:17 > 0:36:21Bryony's anger meant that she was kicked out of every school
0:36:21 > 0:36:23she had ever attended.
0:36:23 > 0:36:26She can get quite angry if she can't get her own way.
0:36:26 > 0:36:30I get so angry, I can literally feel it all... It's horrible.
0:36:30 > 0:36:34Even talking about being angry... makes me angry. I hate it.
0:36:34 > 0:36:38With Bryony's future at a standstill,
0:36:38 > 0:36:40dad Bill had run out of options.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43I think she is a spoiled little cow, yeah. That's my own fault.
0:36:43 > 0:36:47She treats me like a slave. She seems to have no respect for me.
0:36:47 > 0:36:50I feel like from the time I get up in the morning,
0:36:50 > 0:36:53to the time I go to bed, it's just a constant battle.
0:36:56 > 0:36:58Hi, I'm Bryony.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01- I'm Remzi. Nervous? - Yeah, really nervous.
0:37:05 > 0:37:09The teens were sent to Buenos Aires in Argentina
0:37:09 > 0:37:12to live with the strict Bustamante family.
0:37:12 > 0:37:16The first and most important rule in our house
0:37:16 > 0:37:18is to follow the rules.
0:37:18 > 0:37:24The Bustamante system of parenting worked by their kids earning rights.
0:37:24 > 0:37:27If they respect the rules, they can go to parties.
0:37:27 > 0:37:31If they don't respect the school rules or our rules,
0:37:31 > 0:37:33they know that the answer is no.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39Oh, my God, imagine if we lived there, look at that.
0:37:39 > 0:37:41Look at them houses.
0:37:41 > 0:37:43They better be rich. I can't sit in a hut.
0:37:43 > 0:37:46'It was horrible, I thought we were going...'
0:37:46 > 0:37:49..to stay in a slum, all these buildings falling down and stuff.
0:37:49 > 0:37:51Oh, I wasn't happy.
0:37:51 > 0:37:53You felt like you were in a different country
0:37:53 > 0:37:56when you went in the gated community.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59It was just like America. It was crazy.
0:37:59 > 0:38:01Just to see, outside this wall was a slum
0:38:01 > 0:38:03where people are like starving and stuff,
0:38:03 > 0:38:05and then you've got people that...
0:38:05 > 0:38:08I don't know, it's just crazy.
0:38:08 > 0:38:10Dad Gonzalo had a military upbringing
0:38:10 > 0:38:12and was quick to give the orders.
0:38:12 > 0:38:15The first rule is respect the rules of our family.
0:38:15 > 0:38:20As we tell our kids, school is your job.
0:38:20 > 0:38:23You're going to go to school.
0:38:23 > 0:38:25No, I'm not fucking going to school.
0:38:25 > 0:38:28When we first got told the rules, we were a bit like,
0:38:28 > 0:38:30"some of these rules are a bit stupid." We didn't care,
0:38:30 > 0:38:35we were like, "We're not going to stick to these, what the hell?"
0:38:35 > 0:38:38On the teens' first day at school,
0:38:38 > 0:38:40Bryony's anger got the better of her.
0:38:40 > 0:38:43- You don't want to read and you don't want to work, it's OK. - I'm listening!
0:38:43 > 0:38:47Yeah, but you're being disrespectful with that attitude.
0:38:49 > 0:38:51I can't deal with fucking English.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54'I've already been to school, I've finished school now'
0:38:54 > 0:38:57and I didn't want to be sitting listening to English.
0:38:57 > 0:39:01I do get a bit claustrophobic, and I was getting so angry,
0:39:01 > 0:39:04'so I was like, fine, I'll just have a cigarette here,
0:39:04 > 0:39:05'but then she snapped it.
0:39:05 > 0:39:08'And then I was trying to get out, it was a bit of a struggle.'
0:39:08 > 0:39:10- You fucking what!? - Don't touch me.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12Fucking move!
0:39:12 > 0:39:13Don't you fucking do that!
0:39:13 > 0:39:15Fucking move now!
0:39:15 > 0:39:18'But in the end I did push her a bit, a little bit.'
0:39:18 > 0:39:20- Do you want a punch?! - No.
0:39:20 > 0:39:22- Do you want a punch?! - I don't need to be aggressive.
0:39:22 > 0:39:23Fuck off.
0:39:24 > 0:39:27'I just felt bad about it, I wish I didn't do it,
0:39:27 > 0:39:31'cos pushing someone's just harsh'
0:39:31 > 0:39:34and there's no need for that, she was just trying to help.
0:39:37 > 0:39:39The turning point for the teens came
0:39:39 > 0:39:43when they helped out at a small nursery school in a slum.
0:39:45 > 0:39:48Never been to a place like this before in my life.
0:39:48 > 0:39:51'When we drove through the gated community to the slums,
0:39:51 > 0:39:53'there was a river of shit, basically,'
0:39:53 > 0:39:56and houses falling into it, and I was just amazed.
0:39:56 > 0:39:58I was really scared.
0:39:58 > 0:40:01They're all just staring. I was like, "I could die."
0:40:01 > 0:40:02I was convinced I was going to die!
0:40:04 > 0:40:07SHE SPEAKS SPANISH
0:40:07 > 0:40:09Bryony and Remzi.
0:40:11 > 0:40:13'I feel like such a mug, like.'
0:40:13 > 0:40:16Them kids, instead of going out roaming the streets,
0:40:16 > 0:40:19I have gone to... basically a youth club -
0:40:19 > 0:40:22what these two amazing people have built on the back of their house -
0:40:22 > 0:40:23to learn.
0:40:23 > 0:40:28Over here, you don't get that but there, it's all about education
0:40:28 > 0:40:30so you don't have to be in that slum.
0:40:30 > 0:40:32It was just mind-blowing, I think.
0:40:32 > 0:40:35The teens were asked to redecorate one of the classrooms.
0:40:35 > 0:40:36Is it going in?
0:40:36 > 0:40:38Bits on the side, so that's fine.
0:40:38 > 0:40:41'They haven't got much but it's a lot to them.'
0:40:41 > 0:40:44They're happy, I didn't think they would be but they're happy.
0:40:44 > 0:40:47It's made me realise that I don't really need all the stuff I've got
0:40:47 > 0:40:50and I get angry if I don't get what I want.
0:40:53 > 0:40:57When Gonzalo discovered the teens had been expelled from school,
0:40:57 > 0:41:01he said they had to earn the right to continue their work at the slum.
0:41:01 > 0:41:05Thursday, I think you are not going again, to the activity.
0:41:05 > 0:41:07You have to earn it.
0:41:07 > 0:41:10But we're not earning, we're helping people who are less fortunate.
0:41:10 > 0:41:12You won't even let us help people?
0:41:12 > 0:41:14If you want to go back...
0:41:14 > 0:41:15I do...
0:41:15 > 0:41:17..show some...
0:41:17 > 0:41:19you know, effort, OK?
0:41:19 > 0:41:20Thank you.
0:41:20 > 0:41:25'When he said we weren't allowed to go back unless we made an effort,'
0:41:25 > 0:41:29I think it hit us, especially me, cos I've really enjoyed it so much
0:41:29 > 0:41:32and I think everything changed then.
0:41:32 > 0:41:35Looking back now, I really understand why he did it.
0:41:35 > 0:41:38It wasn't because he didn't want us to go,
0:41:38 > 0:41:42it was because... we didn't deserve to go.
0:41:42 > 0:41:45To prove to Gonzalo they could change,
0:41:45 > 0:41:48the teens spent a day doing chores.
0:41:48 > 0:41:53And as a reward, they returned to the slums to finish the job.
0:41:55 > 0:42:00Going into that slum, I think that was the highlight of the experience.
0:42:00 > 0:42:01I was just so proud.
0:42:01 > 0:42:04We did a whole room and painted it in like, two days.
0:42:04 > 0:42:07It's the first time I've done something for someone
0:42:07 > 0:42:10and actually enjoyed it and wanted to do it again.
0:42:10 > 0:42:12I just want to carry on.
0:42:12 > 0:42:16They all want to thank you very much for having done the painting
0:42:16 > 0:42:18and the drawings
0:42:18 > 0:42:19and they're very grateful.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22CHILDREN: Thank you!
0:42:22 > 0:42:24CHILDREN APPLAUD
0:42:24 > 0:42:26When I finished that wall,
0:42:26 > 0:42:29after we'd painted it and the kids put their hands on it,
0:42:29 > 0:42:33it was...it was just amazing, it does make me more happy, thinking,
0:42:33 > 0:42:36"I've finished that and they're probably still enjoying it."
0:42:42 > 0:42:44- Bye.- Thank you so much.
0:42:46 > 0:42:48- I love you.- I love you, too.
0:42:48 > 0:42:51It was horrible, I didn't want to say goodbye.
0:42:51 > 0:42:54I didn't want to let go, I just couldn't stop crying.
0:42:54 > 0:42:56Didn't want to get in the car and go.
0:42:56 > 0:42:59- Thanks for everything, you have made a big effort.- I tried.
0:42:59 > 0:43:03- No, you've made an excellent effort. - Vamos, huh?- That's right.
0:43:03 > 0:43:06I thought family was nothing, I could stop talking to them when I'm older,
0:43:06 > 0:43:08they don't matter to me, but...
0:43:08 > 0:43:11Your family, like, they're there for you no matter what.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14Your friends could just go away and leave you
0:43:14 > 0:43:16but family are there forever.
0:43:16 > 0:43:18Yeah, I did appreciate my family more after that.
0:43:23 > 0:43:26How's it going, give us a cuddle. Aw, that's nice!
0:43:26 > 0:43:29Good to see you, son. You been all right, yeah?
0:43:32 > 0:43:34Since I've been back,
0:43:34 > 0:43:35I try and get up at ten, have a shower,
0:43:35 > 0:43:37eat breakfast and I'll wash up,
0:43:37 > 0:43:41hoover, then wipe down all the sides and mop if I can.
0:43:41 > 0:43:44I may seem nothing to me cos it only takes me half an hour,
0:43:44 > 0:43:46but to my dad - it's a huge difference.
0:43:46 > 0:43:48He used to come home and have to clean up my mess,
0:43:48 > 0:43:50and wash up after doing a nine-hour shift.
0:43:50 > 0:43:52It was really selfish and horrible.
0:43:52 > 0:43:56I really, honestly didn't think that this day would ever come.
0:43:56 > 0:44:02I'm just...gobsmacked that he's changed everything.
0:44:02 > 0:44:05He's just like a new kid, you know?!
0:44:05 > 0:44:08My dad's wallet was like, my little piggy bank
0:44:08 > 0:44:11but now I'd think, "Do I need it for the day?"
0:44:11 > 0:44:14That's the best thing - not just taking money that I don't need.
0:44:19 > 0:44:22- Hello!- Hi!- All right, babe?
0:44:23 > 0:44:24Hello!
0:44:26 > 0:44:28I'll pass it to you, all right?
0:44:28 > 0:44:30Since I've been back,
0:44:30 > 0:44:31I just respect things more
0:44:31 > 0:44:33and I respect what I've got.
0:44:33 > 0:44:37I keep my room tidier, I tidy up, I wash up for my dad.
0:44:37 > 0:44:40I put my washing and ironing upstairs now, and stuff.
0:44:40 > 0:44:43Just little things, it does help and what I didn't think would help,
0:44:43 > 0:44:46it does, it makes a big difference, really.
0:44:46 > 0:44:48I'm proud of Bryony for putting herself up
0:44:48 > 0:44:51and she's growing up, every day she's changing
0:44:51 > 0:44:56and I think she will find some kind of direction in the near future.
0:44:56 > 0:44:58It was a life-changing experience.
0:44:58 > 0:45:01I don't shut up about it, I love it, even the arguments.
0:45:01 > 0:45:04If there were no arguments, I wouldn't have learnt anything.
0:45:04 > 0:45:08It was definitely the best...the best experience so far in my life.
0:45:15 > 0:45:18Three months ago, 18-year-old party girl Jade Bare
0:45:18 > 0:45:21was driving her mum to distraction.
0:45:21 > 0:45:24Her all-night boozing was out of control.
0:45:24 > 0:45:27Start out getting drunk at a friend's house or my house -
0:45:27 > 0:45:28drink a bit.
0:45:28 > 0:45:29On the way here - drink a bit.
0:45:29 > 0:45:31Go to a bar - drink a bit.
0:45:31 > 0:45:35Get here - drink a bit, by the time we leave...legless!
0:45:35 > 0:45:39It's getting out of hand and it's painful.
0:45:39 > 0:45:43To see somebody just... literally destroy themselves.
0:45:43 > 0:45:46We can't walk in our fucking nice heels! What's your problem?!
0:45:48 > 0:45:49Jade's dad died two years ago
0:45:49 > 0:45:52and her drinking spiralled.
0:45:52 > 0:45:54I really, really, really loved my dad.
0:45:54 > 0:45:57He was a proper, main part in my life.
0:45:57 > 0:45:59Now he's gone, I don't care about anyone else.
0:45:59 > 0:46:02If I wasn't going out I'd just be depressed.
0:46:02 > 0:46:04But since I go out, I just think it's fun.
0:46:04 > 0:46:08I don't think there's a point of life if you're not going to go out.
0:46:08 > 0:46:10Over in Swindon,
0:46:10 > 0:46:13Connor Jones' weed addiction was tearing his family apart.
0:46:13 > 0:46:16I smoked it once a week, twice a week
0:46:16 > 0:46:19and then it got to three times a week and now it's every day.
0:46:19 > 0:46:21I now have to smoke more than £10's worth.
0:46:21 > 0:46:26His family even believed he'd stolen money from them.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29Connor, your brother had £10 in his wallet.
0:46:29 > 0:46:30I never touched it.
0:46:30 > 0:46:33- So, who took it, then?- Fuck off.
0:46:33 > 0:46:36I've sat and cried on me own, and thought, "Where've I gone wrong?"
0:46:36 > 0:46:40I'm just hoping in a few years' time that he realises what he's doing.
0:46:40 > 0:46:44It wasn't just his mum who was affected by his behaviour.
0:46:44 > 0:46:47BABY GURGLES
0:46:47 > 0:46:51I'm a dad. He's six, eh, seven months now. A little kid called Lewis.
0:46:51 > 0:46:54I was with the girl for eight months and she fell pregnant,
0:46:54 > 0:46:55so she had the kid
0:46:55 > 0:46:59and I haven't really paid any attention to it, to be honest.
0:46:59 > 0:47:03For the first two months he was a really good dad,
0:47:03 > 0:47:06and then after that he just started fading away.
0:47:07 > 0:47:09If I had a tenner, I'd think,
0:47:09 > 0:47:12"Lewis and weed - shit, I'd actually buy weed with it."
0:47:15 > 0:47:19- You all right?- All right? - I'm Jade.- I'm Connor.
0:47:22 > 0:47:24The teens were sent 5,000 miles away to Seattle,
0:47:24 > 0:47:29on the west coast of America, to stay with Smith Irwin family.
0:47:30 > 0:47:33Lord God, bless this food...
0:47:33 > 0:47:37Rob and Denise are devout Christians with strong views on parenting.
0:47:37 > 0:47:40Quite often when I'm having conversations I will use the term,
0:47:40 > 0:47:43WWJD - What Would Jesus Do?
0:47:43 > 0:47:45After an accident left her paralysed,
0:47:45 > 0:47:49Denise and Rob's rock-solid faith helped them through.
0:47:49 > 0:47:53You know, every step of our lives and our decisions
0:47:53 > 0:47:57are strongly based on a Christian fundamental belief.
0:47:57 > 0:48:01To us, it's basically a daily part of life.
0:48:05 > 0:48:07- Hi, how are you?- I'm Jade.
0:48:07 > 0:48:11Connor, Jade, could you guys come down here?
0:48:11 > 0:48:12We'll have a quick talk.
0:48:12 > 0:48:16I didn't really care about the rules cos I knew I'd break them anyway
0:48:16 > 0:48:18so it was just like...
0:48:18 > 0:48:21First and primary things that we insist on is that
0:48:21 > 0:48:23we don't permit drinking, smoking.
0:48:23 > 0:48:27No alcohol, no cannabis, no cigarettes.
0:48:27 > 0:48:30Is there no way we can smoke anywhere outside the house?
0:48:30 > 0:48:33We're expecting that you're going to give up cigarettes
0:48:33 > 0:48:37- and there is not going to be any smoking this week. - I will not give up my cigarettes.
0:48:37 > 0:48:41Sitting at that table then was so stressful, horrible.
0:48:41 > 0:48:43You're just sat there, your brain's hurting,
0:48:43 > 0:48:46you've been listening to his dull voice for ages.
0:48:46 > 0:48:49You're like, "Come on." I just thought, "I'm going for a cigarette.
0:48:49 > 0:48:51"I've had enough of this."
0:48:51 > 0:48:54An hour after hearing the house rules, the teens were lighting up.
0:48:54 > 0:48:57What a twat. At the end of the day, I want to smoke.
0:48:57 > 0:48:59It's my choice to smoke if I enjoy smoking.
0:48:59 > 0:49:01At the moment, I'm enjoying smoking, aren't I?
0:49:01 > 0:49:06It's like zombified in that house. They need livening up a little bit.
0:49:06 > 0:49:10They need some fucking alcohol in them, that's what they need.
0:49:10 > 0:49:14The second day of their stay in Seattle was Independence Day.
0:49:14 > 0:49:17So you guys know we're going over to a party this evening
0:49:17 > 0:49:21and there's going to be some alcohol there.
0:49:21 > 0:49:24We don't want to take any of that.
0:49:25 > 0:49:29'I didn't really think it was a party because it actually wasn't a party.'
0:49:29 > 0:49:32No-one was having fun. People were obviously having their own fun
0:49:32 > 0:49:36'in their own way, but I didn't think it was fun.'
0:49:36 > 0:49:38It was the shittest party I've ever been to.
0:49:38 > 0:49:40The Independence party was awful.
0:49:40 > 0:49:44'It was so bad. Everybody was just standing around like sardines
0:49:44 > 0:49:46'and had one or two beers.'
0:49:46 > 0:49:49If that was me, I'd be on my ass halfway through that party.
0:49:53 > 0:49:55With free booze up for grabs,
0:49:55 > 0:49:59it wasn't long before the teens were breaking the rules again.
0:49:59 > 0:50:02It wasn't technically stealing cos they were giving it away.
0:50:02 > 0:50:04It's just that we weren't allowed it.
0:50:04 > 0:50:07'Technically, it was just borrowing. I should have put it back,'
0:50:07 > 0:50:11but it was like an alcopop. I don't feel guilty. Connor might.
0:50:11 > 0:50:13What is there to feel guilty about?
0:50:13 > 0:50:16When you're used to drinking vodka and Sambuca and stuff
0:50:16 > 0:50:17'that is just juice.'
0:50:17 > 0:50:19HE BURPS
0:50:19 > 0:50:21Pardon me.
0:50:21 > 0:50:26The following day was a turning point for Jade and Connor.
0:50:26 > 0:50:28Is there anything you need to tell me
0:50:28 > 0:50:30that happened yesterday at the party?
0:50:33 > 0:50:34No.
0:50:34 > 0:50:38I was completely lying out of my ass, it was awful.
0:50:38 > 0:50:40Every sentence I said was a big lie.
0:50:41 > 0:50:42Hmmm.
0:50:44 > 0:50:47'It was really bad cos they brought Connor out first came out first.'
0:50:47 > 0:50:50I was just like, oh my God, what if he said, yeah, and then I say, no?
0:50:50 > 0:50:53Or what if he says, no, and I say, yeah? I got really scared.
0:50:53 > 0:50:57But then when Connor was walking past he said, no, so I was like, OK.
0:50:57 > 0:50:59My initial feeling is that...
0:50:59 > 0:51:01I believe you
0:51:01 > 0:51:03and I'd like to continue believing and trusting you.
0:51:05 > 0:51:09I feel so guilty. I feel so guilty.
0:51:09 > 0:51:14'They are all big about trust and they said they believed us'
0:51:14 > 0:51:18and they trust us so I feel like shit, to be honest, about it.
0:51:21 > 0:51:25The Smith Irwins were determined to show Jade and Connor their future
0:51:25 > 0:51:28if they didn't stop drinking and smoking.
0:51:29 > 0:51:32So they sent them to a local homeless refuge.
0:51:32 > 0:51:34'I walked through the door
0:51:34 > 0:51:37'and I just wanted to turn around and never go back.
0:51:37 > 0:51:40'That place was awful. It was like a zoo.'
0:51:40 > 0:51:43It was awful. I didn't like it at all.
0:51:43 > 0:51:46'I actually really didn't want to be there.'
0:51:46 > 0:51:48It sounds really rude but I felt really dirty.
0:51:48 > 0:51:50What you'll find is it's fun for now
0:51:50 > 0:51:54and you'll have friends who will party with you but let's say
0:51:54 > 0:51:57you don't have the money to buy the drinks
0:51:57 > 0:51:59and you don't have the money to get the pot,
0:51:59 > 0:52:01those friends are going to fade away.
0:52:01 > 0:52:04You're going to be possibly doing stuff
0:52:04 > 0:52:07that you never considered yourself doing.
0:52:07 > 0:52:09'Some of them have had really hard lives
0:52:09 > 0:52:11'but some girls went from just being like me in school'
0:52:11 > 0:52:14going out, having fun and now look where they are.
0:52:14 > 0:52:17It made me realise I probably shouldn't drink as much.
0:52:17 > 0:52:20'The biggest thing I learned was completely, stay off weed
0:52:20 > 0:52:23'and not take anything for granted. I'm definitely glad'
0:52:23 > 0:52:26weed's out of my life cos I was always associated
0:52:26 > 0:52:29as a big weedhead and stuff like that.
0:52:29 > 0:52:32All the time, I'd get texts saying, "Are you coming out for a smoke?"
0:52:32 > 0:52:35I still occasionally get ones now but at the end of the day
0:52:35 > 0:52:37I don't really want that any more.
0:52:39 > 0:52:42As the week drew to a close, Denise wanted to understand
0:52:42 > 0:52:44the reason behind Jade's drinking.
0:52:45 > 0:52:48My dad died when I was 15...
0:52:48 > 0:52:51Yeah, just before my 16th birthday.
0:52:53 > 0:52:55- That was fairly recent? - Yeah.
0:52:55 > 0:52:57Do you miss your dad?
0:52:57 > 0:53:00I don't know. I'd rather just, like, forget it.
0:53:00 > 0:53:04You know, if you think about it and you talk about it,
0:53:04 > 0:53:06instead of bottling things up,
0:53:06 > 0:53:09if you let things out and discuss them, you feel better inside.
0:53:09 > 0:53:11I don't know.
0:53:11 > 0:53:12'It doesn't make sense'
0:53:12 > 0:53:15but it was like, my dad's just gone away, he's coming back.
0:53:15 > 0:53:18That's what I was thinking, that's why I was like, whatever.
0:53:18 > 0:53:20But when I went away, I talked to Denise
0:53:20 > 0:53:23and it actually made me realise that my dad ain't coming back
0:53:23 > 0:53:25and there's nothing I can do to get him back.
0:53:25 > 0:53:30So it was like, oh, I might as well grieve or whatever you call it.
0:53:32 > 0:53:37Change came for Connor when he attended an activity day
0:53:37 > 0:53:38for disabled children.
0:53:40 > 0:53:44'It reminded me a lot of my son, of how I could be a dad to my son.
0:53:44 > 0:53:46'I did feel good that I was having the experience'
0:53:46 > 0:53:50but I felt really guilty cos we went to the park
0:53:50 > 0:53:52and we were playing all these games
0:53:52 > 0:53:55'and then I would never have done that with my son.'
0:53:55 > 0:53:57Do you want me to clip them up for you?
0:53:57 > 0:54:01'It really made me want to be a better dad. It completely changed'
0:54:01 > 0:54:03the perspective I had over being a dad.
0:54:03 > 0:54:05If I show you...
0:54:05 > 0:54:07Go like that and then like that.
0:54:07 > 0:54:10Do you understand?
0:54:10 > 0:54:13'When we went kayaking, all he wanted to do was go faster
0:54:13 > 0:54:17'and faster and I was really making the effort for him to go faster.'
0:54:17 > 0:54:20I kept picturing my son's head on the back of his head.
0:54:20 > 0:54:22I really wanted him there.
0:54:24 > 0:54:28I just want to say goodbye. Thanks a lot for coming out this week.
0:54:28 > 0:54:29Thanks for having me.
0:54:29 > 0:54:31Their time with the Smith Irwins had come to an end.
0:54:31 > 0:54:33- Bye!- See ya.
0:54:33 > 0:54:38I've realised that everything I was doing was ruining my life'
0:54:38 > 0:54:39instead of making it better.
0:54:43 > 0:54:46- Hey, Mum. - Hello, stranger. How are you?
0:54:49 > 0:54:51'When my dad died, I just think'
0:54:51 > 0:54:53I kind of blamed it on my mum.
0:54:53 > 0:54:56But now I don't blame it on my mum, I don't blame anyone.
0:54:56 > 0:54:58Thank you.
0:54:58 > 0:55:01'Being away made Jade realise that...'
0:55:02 > 0:55:05..the way she treats me is not right.
0:55:05 > 0:55:08It made me realise mum isn't going to be here for ever.
0:55:08 > 0:55:13You should cherish all the time that you have with your parents.
0:55:13 > 0:55:16'She should try and remember the positive things
0:55:16 > 0:55:17'she had with her dad.'
0:55:17 > 0:55:19Time is the greatest healer.
0:55:23 > 0:55:25- I missed you.- Yeah?
0:55:25 > 0:55:26Yeah. How was your week?
0:55:26 > 0:55:28I missed you as well, mate.
0:55:29 > 0:55:33'The biggest change in Connor and the thing I'm most pleased about is'
0:55:33 > 0:55:36him stopping smoking weed. That has made such a difference
0:55:36 > 0:55:40'to his mannerisms, his health, his attitude,'
0:55:40 > 0:55:43totally different personality, totally different.
0:55:43 > 0:55:44That's the thing I'm most happy about.
0:55:46 > 0:55:49Before I went, my relationship with my mum was awful.
0:55:49 > 0:55:52'But when I got back, we were just like best friends,
0:55:52 > 0:55:53'like bread and butter.
0:55:53 > 0:55:56'Everything we do together. We go for walks.'
0:55:56 > 0:56:00We go to the cinema. It's just like little things we do with each other.
0:56:00 > 0:56:02It's really good. We get along.
0:56:02 > 0:56:05'We still have our little arguments but every family has arguments
0:56:05 > 0:56:07'but it's not like it was at all.'
0:56:07 > 0:56:11'I'm really proud of him. Before,'
0:56:11 > 0:56:14he didn't love himself, couldn't be bothered.
0:56:14 > 0:56:15I'm really proud of him.
0:56:20 > 0:56:23'I've been seeing Lewis a bit more since I've been back
0:56:23 > 0:56:25'and it's a lot better.'
0:56:25 > 0:56:27He's actually starting to realise I'm his dad
0:56:27 > 0:56:30and it's really nice to see him smile with me and know who I am.
0:56:47 > 0:56:51Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:56:51 > 0:56:54E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk