The Santa Clause 2

0:00:18 > 0:00:20WIND WHISTLING

0:00:22 > 0:00:24I'm getting something on the sonar!

0:00:24 > 0:00:28I'm getting strong readings from underneath the cap rock!

0:00:28 > 0:00:29Possible oil flow?

0:00:29 > 0:00:31Still analysing.

0:00:31 > 0:00:33TONE MODULATING

0:00:35 > 0:00:37It's...it's, er...

0:00:37 > 0:00:40It sounds like, er...

0:00:40 > 0:00:43Uh...

0:00:43 > 0:00:45Tiny hammers.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39QUACKING

0:02:57 > 0:02:59BEEPS

0:02:59 > 0:03:01They're coming right at us!

0:03:01 > 0:03:03Take us to Elfcon 3!

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Take us to Elfcon 3.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12CONVERSATIONS STOP

0:03:15 > 0:03:17HAMMERING STOPS

0:03:21 > 0:03:23BEEPS

0:03:23 > 0:03:24These guys aren't stopping.

0:03:24 > 0:03:26Take us to Elfcon 2!

0:03:26 > 0:03:28Let's go to Elfcon 2.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57WHIRRING

0:04:05 > 0:04:07We have a partridge in a pear tree.

0:04:07 > 0:04:11- Yep. - You take us to Elfcon 1.

0:04:11 > 0:04:14Let's rig for silent running. Look alive, everybody!

0:04:14 > 0:04:16OK, we're at Elfcon 1.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19ALARM BLARING

0:04:25 > 0:04:28BEEPING SLOWS

0:04:44 > 0:04:46I lost it. What do you mean?

0:04:46 > 0:04:48Wait.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50What the...?

0:04:50 > 0:04:51BEEPING

0:04:53 > 0:04:57Uh...sir, you're gonna want to hear this.

0:04:59 > 0:05:01# You know You better watch out

0:05:01 > 0:05:03# You better not cry

0:05:03 > 0:05:05# You better not pout... #

0:05:05 > 0:05:07Find out where that music's coming from!

0:05:07 > 0:05:09OK!

0:05:18 > 0:05:20Santa, I've got it on the locator!

0:05:29 > 0:05:31MUSIC PLAYS

0:05:31 > 0:05:35# He knows when you are sleeping

0:05:35 > 0:05:38# He knows when you're awake

0:05:38 > 0:05:43# He knows if you've been bad or good

0:05:43 > 0:05:46# So be good for goodness' sake! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

0:05:46 > 0:05:51# You better watch out You better not cry

0:05:51 > 0:05:55# You better not pout I'm tellin' you why... # Whoo!

0:05:55 > 0:05:57# Santa Claus is comin'

0:05:57 > 0:05:59# To town! # MUSIC STOPS

0:06:00 > 0:06:02What now?

0:06:02 > 0:06:03It's just gone.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05Oh, in the middle of the chorus!

0:06:05 > 0:06:07Nobody needs to know about this, right?

0:06:07 > 0:06:11Maybe we should mention the Smokey Robinson thing, sir. It's just my opinion.

0:06:11 > 0:06:14'We're at Elfcon 4. All clear.' SANTA SIGHS

0:06:14 > 0:06:17Curtis, what do you say we get you headphones this Christmas?

0:06:17 > 0:06:20It's all right, everybody. Get back to work.

0:06:20 > 0:06:24Curtis... you're 900 years old. Grow up!

0:06:24 > 0:06:25Bernard. >

0:06:31 > 0:06:34Now, you know I didn't break any of the rules,

0:06:34 > 0:06:36according to the Santa handbook.

0:06:36 > 0:06:37The handbook.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39Curtis, do you go pee-pee with that thing?

0:06:39 > 0:06:42It says elves are encouraged to listen to music.

0:06:42 > 0:06:45It makes them more creative... more productive...

0:06:45 > 0:06:47And, well, more alert.

0:06:47 > 0:06:48Look out!

0:06:54 > 0:06:56CRASH!

0:06:58 > 0:07:00It's OK. Let's go!

0:07:00 > 0:07:03Is he all right? He's OK, Santa! >

0:07:03 > 0:07:05Wow!

0:07:05 > 0:07:07That's gonna leave a mark. Ooh.

0:07:07 > 0:07:10Is that Blitzen? Looks like Prancer.

0:07:10 > 0:07:11That... Who is that?

0:07:11 > 0:07:12It was Chet.

0:07:12 > 0:07:14One of our reindeer in training.

0:07:14 > 0:07:15Oh.

0:07:15 > 0:07:19Well, please tell me that it's early in his training.

0:07:19 > 0:07:21Wow. A nice fall.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25Curtis, when are you gonna tell him?

0:07:25 > 0:07:26Not now.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50It's so cold up here, Charlie. How can you not be freezing?

0:07:50 > 0:07:52You have not seen cold till you see where my dad lives. It's...

0:07:52 > 0:07:57You shouldn't be embarrassed. My parents are divorced, too.

0:07:57 > 0:07:58I'm not embarrassed.

0:07:58 > 0:07:59Why don't you ever talk about your dad?

0:07:59 > 0:08:02He doesn't like me to. What is he, a spy?

0:08:02 > 0:08:05No, he...he works with toys,

0:08:05 > 0:08:08and these...little people...

0:08:08 > 0:08:10..kids.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12Can we just do what we came here to do?

0:08:12 > 0:08:14Mmm. Sure.

0:08:18 > 0:08:20All right.

0:08:20 > 0:08:23Charlie, this is really dangerous.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25Someone could catch us at any moment.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28Kinda exciting.

0:08:28 > 0:08:30Well, you know, Danielle,

0:08:30 > 0:08:32I may not come out of this alive.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36So in case we don't see each other again...

0:08:39 > 0:08:41Whoa! Whoa! Aaaaaah!

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Are you OK?

0:08:50 > 0:08:52Whew.

0:08:52 > 0:08:53SPRAY CAN RATTLES

0:09:13 > 0:09:14Almost done.

0:09:15 > 0:09:16OK. I'm not leaving.

0:09:19 > 0:09:22# I've been a naughty boy

0:09:22 > 0:09:26# I didn't get a toy

0:09:26 > 0:09:32# Santa Claus left nothing underneath my tree

0:09:32 > 0:09:35# He knows that I've been bad

0:09:35 > 0:09:38# But bein' good just ain't my bag... #

0:09:38 > 0:09:40MUSIC STOPS

0:09:40 > 0:09:42LADDER CREAKS

0:09:42 > 0:09:46FOOTSTEPS ASCENDING LADDER

0:09:50 > 0:09:52Hello, Charlie.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54Hello, Principal Newman.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03OK, try it now. ENGINE TURNS OVER

0:10:03 > 0:10:05ENGINE REVS

0:10:05 > 0:10:07OK. All right.

0:10:07 > 0:10:08Here's what we need...

0:10:08 > 0:10:11you got to get one more bolt on that flange,

0:10:11 > 0:10:13and it's ready for Christmas.

0:10:13 > 0:10:15Good work, guys. Whew.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17Perfect job on the suspension, you guys.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20Thinking outside the box. I love it.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25Do you want a cookie, Santa?

0:10:25 > 0:10:28Do I want a cookie? Yes!

0:10:28 > 0:10:30What's fresh? Ooh!

0:10:30 > 0:10:31Sweet, just like you.

0:10:40 > 0:10:43Alexander, let's think. Take the hat off.

0:10:46 > 0:10:47Too much counterweight.

0:10:47 > 0:10:51Thanks, Santa. You're the man.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54That's why they give me the big belly - so I don't fall over.

0:10:56 > 0:10:57Joey!

0:10:57 > 0:11:00How's that static-free tinsel coming?

0:11:00 > 0:11:02Hey, guys, Santa wants to see the new tinsel.

0:11:10 > 0:11:14You know, I could come up there and take care of this the ugly way.

0:11:14 > 0:11:17Or...you go outside and play some football.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19THEY CHEER

0:11:22 > 0:11:24Curtis, you need to tell him right now!

0:11:24 > 0:11:28I don't know. He's so happy right now.

0:11:28 > 0:11:31Why do I have to be the one to tell him?

0:11:31 > 0:11:36Because I'm the head elf, I don't give bad news. It's one of the perks of my seniority.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38Now, tell him!

0:11:57 > 0:12:00Come on, Porkchop, bring it on.

0:12:00 > 0:12:03Who're you callin' Porkchop, Meat Loaf?

0:12:03 > 0:12:07Meat Loaf? You wanna talk some trash? I'll talk trash with you.

0:12:07 > 0:12:09But first, I'm gonna blitz.

0:12:09 > 0:12:10Ready, set!

0:12:10 > 0:12:12I'm comin' after you, buddy.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14Seven swans a-swimming!

0:12:14 > 0:12:16Six geese a-laying!

0:12:16 > 0:12:19ALL: Five golden rings!

0:12:19 > 0:12:20HIKE!

0:12:21 > 0:12:24SANTA: He dropped the ball! I can see it.

0:12:24 > 0:12:28He moves...he's outta the way... I see ya!

0:12:33 > 0:12:35Rumblin'! Stumblin'! Bumblin'!

0:12:41 > 0:12:43SANTA: OK, you win! Ha!

0:12:50 > 0:12:52You guys aren't elves, you're wizards!

0:12:52 > 0:12:56No matter how many times you run that play, I never see it coming.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58Santa, we need to talk.

0:13:00 > 0:13:02TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

0:13:08 > 0:13:10Hmm. That's weird, isn't it?

0:13:10 > 0:13:11-uh-oh! -uh-oh!

0:13:11 > 0:13:13These fit yesterday.

0:13:13 > 0:13:14Hot cocoa for you, Santa.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16This is not a good time, Abby.

0:13:16 > 0:13:20I sent dasher down for some Brazilian cocoa beans.

0:13:20 > 0:13:21TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING

0:13:21 > 0:13:23What's the bad news?

0:13:23 > 0:13:25What do you mean?

0:13:25 > 0:13:27Whenever you play the designer-bean card,

0:13:27 > 0:13:30Generally, you have bad news.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36What are you doing with the naughty and nice list?

0:13:36 > 0:13:38Just don't shoot the messenger.

0:13:41 > 0:13:44It's...Charlie.

0:13:44 > 0:13:45Sheen?

0:13:45 > 0:13:46I thought he straightened out.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48Not that Charlie.

0:13:52 > 0:13:54My Charlie. My son, Charlie?

0:13:54 > 0:13:56He's on the naughty list?

0:13:56 > 0:13:58- Aaaah! - Aaaah!

0:13:58 > 0:14:00There's got to be a mistake.

0:14:00 > 0:14:02We don't make mistakes.

0:14:02 > 0:14:03I'm sorry, Santa.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05Please excuse me.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08Well, how could this happen?

0:14:08 > 0:14:10Is this what you and Curtis were trying to tell me?

0:14:10 > 0:14:12You told him. Good. Let's get you dressed for that meeting.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15I can't have the meeting here. I have to see Charlie.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17Number two, tell him right now.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20Tell me what? Guys, come on. Come clean now.

0:14:20 > 0:14:22Santa, there's a Clause.

0:14:22 > 0:14:23That would be me.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26No, I mean there's another Santa Clause.

0:14:26 > 0:14:28In case you haven't noticed, this time of year,

0:14:28 > 0:14:31The malls are filled with other "Santa Clauses."

0:14:31 > 0:14:33Yes, but there's another Santa CLAUSE.

0:14:33 > 0:14:36There was a first, but there's also a second.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38BOTH: get on with it!

0:14:39 > 0:14:41When the last Santa fell off your roof

0:14:41 > 0:14:43And you put on his coat, you found this.

0:14:43 > 0:14:44Right.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46"he who wears the coat

0:14:46 > 0:14:48Takes on the responsibilities of Santa Claus."

0:14:48 > 0:14:51And, of course, the rest would be history, right?

0:14:51 > 0:14:54But it seems our number-two elf,

0:14:54 > 0:14:55the keeper of the handbook,

0:14:55 > 0:15:00overlooked the single most important detail

0:15:00 > 0:15:02In the history of Christmas!

0:15:02 > 0:15:04Wow.

0:15:04 > 0:15:06One mistake in 900 years.

0:15:06 > 0:15:07Look.

0:15:09 > 0:15:10I-I can't see that.

0:15:10 > 0:15:11-Better now? -Uh...

0:15:11 > 0:15:13-Or now? -Well...

0:15:13 > 0:15:15-Better now? -It's getting there.

0:15:15 > 0:15:18-Or now? -I can't see anything.

0:15:18 > 0:15:21I see. Good, good, good. I see it.

0:15:21 > 0:15:24OK, well, "the cardholder acknowledges...

0:15:24 > 0:15:26..woman of his choosing...

0:15:26 > 0:15:27..true love...

0:15:27 > 0:15:31..not valid in state of Utah.

0:15:31 > 0:15:32..holy...

0:15:33 > 0:15:34...matrimony?!

0:15:34 > 0:15:36I got to get married!

0:15:36 > 0:15:40Yes. It's...the Mrs Clause.

0:15:40 > 0:15:44# (HERE COMES THE BRIDE) Bum bum-bum bum, bum bum-bum bum

0:15:44 > 0:15:46What if I don't want to get married?

0:15:47 > 0:15:49Oh, dear.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51The de-santafication process has begun!

0:15:51 > 0:15:53The de-santafication?

0:15:53 > 0:15:56Are you telling me that in that clause,

0:15:56 > 0:15:58It says that if I don't get married,

0:15:58 > 0:16:01I don't get to be Santa anymore?

0:16:04 > 0:16:06EXHALES DEEPLY

0:16:06 > 0:16:08W-what about the kids?

0:16:08 > 0:16:11What - what about the elves?

0:16:11 > 0:16:14And what about you guys?

0:16:14 > 0:16:16It's not hopeless.

0:16:16 > 0:16:17You still have time to find a wife.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19How much time do I have, Curtis?

0:16:19 > 0:16:2128 days.

0:16:21 > 0:16:2328 days.

0:16:23 > 0:16:26So I've got to find a wife by Christmas.

0:16:26 > 0:16:27Actually, Christmas eve.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32Guess it's over.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35No! You can't think that way!

0:16:35 > 0:16:37Please don't give up hope.

0:16:38 > 0:16:42Cos if you do... then WE have to.

0:16:43 > 0:16:45BOTH SIGH

0:16:51 > 0:16:52-Aaaaah! -Ohhhh!

0:16:52 > 0:16:54Whoa.

0:16:55 > 0:16:58Christmas is getting very complicated.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01Santa?

0:17:01 > 0:17:03Santa?

0:17:03 > 0:17:05Are you with us?

0:17:05 > 0:17:07I-I'm sorry. Yes. Yes, I am.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10Well, on behalf of Father Time

0:17:10 > 0:17:12and the entire council of legendary figures,

0:17:12 > 0:17:15I'd like to thank you for being such a gracious host.

0:17:15 > 0:17:17-What a lovely place. -Hear, hear.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19And without further ado,

0:17:19 > 0:17:23Let us convene the year-end holiday conference.

0:17:23 > 0:17:25-Tooth Fairy? -Thank you, Mother Nature.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27Fellow council members,

0:17:27 > 0:17:30I'd like to again propose a new name for myself.

0:17:30 > 0:17:31-Oh, please! -Come on!

0:17:31 > 0:17:32Good heavens.

0:17:32 > 0:17:36In the past, you have rejected "tooth man," "tooth guy," and "tooth."

0:17:36 > 0:17:37Because they stunk.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40Today I'd like to submit... "Captain Floss"...

0:17:40 > 0:17:41-Nice. -"Plaque Man"...

0:17:41 > 0:17:43-D'oh. -And "Roy."

0:17:43 > 0:17:46LAUGHS: Roy! No.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48No kid's gonna put a tooth under a pillow for a man named Roy.

0:17:48 > 0:17:52This from someone who wears a diaper and shoots arrows in people's butts.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54I got it. I got it, I got it.

0:17:54 > 0:17:56How about this - "the Molinator."

0:17:56 > 0:18:00"The Molinator." I like it. Thank you, Santa.

0:18:00 > 0:18:01Can we vote on "the Molinator"?

0:18:01 > 0:18:04All in favour of a name change for Tooth Fairy?

0:18:05 > 0:18:07All right. And all opposed?

0:18:07 > 0:18:10Easter Bunny?

0:18:10 > 0:18:11Sandman?

0:18:11 > 0:18:13SNORTS: what?

0:18:13 > 0:18:14W-what happened?

0:18:14 > 0:18:16Was I asleep again?

0:18:16 > 0:18:19Name change for the Tooth Fairy - yes or no?

0:18:19 > 0:18:21No. I'm sorry.

0:18:21 > 0:18:24All right, next item on the agenda.

0:18:24 > 0:18:26Santa, status report.

0:18:26 > 0:18:29Well, welcome to the North Pole. It's great to have you here.

0:18:29 > 0:18:33As you know, this is our big time, so things are busy.

0:18:33 > 0:18:36There's a little speed bump in the road this year.

0:18:36 > 0:18:37You all know Charlie.

0:18:37 > 0:18:40-Oh, I love Charlie. -Oh, yeah.

0:18:40 > 0:18:41-Great kid. -Good boy.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43-Sweet kid. -Good teeth.

0:18:43 > 0:18:45Well, Charlie... Got himself on the naughty list.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47-What? -Oh, my.

0:18:47 > 0:18:48I'm struggling with the timing,

0:18:48 > 0:18:51cos I got to be at the North Pole,

0:18:51 > 0:18:53And I've also got to take care of Charlie.

0:18:53 > 0:18:55That's every parent's dilemma -

0:18:55 > 0:18:58How to balance work and children.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00More people lose sleep over that than anything else.

0:19:00 > 0:19:05I have 33,000 offspring, all in private school.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09Well, to top it off...

0:19:09 > 0:19:11I have to get married by Christmas eve.

0:19:11 > 0:19:12Hmm?

0:19:12 > 0:19:14Otherwise, I stop being Santa Claus.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16-What?! -No!

0:19:16 > 0:19:18The de-santafication process has already begun.

0:19:18 > 0:19:22Wait a minute. You do look thinner.

0:19:22 > 0:19:24Your beard is shorter! Am I right?

0:19:24 > 0:19:25You're right! You're right!

0:19:25 > 0:19:28Apparently, it's called the Mrs Clause.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30Don't mess with me. I'm pre-El Nino.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32I'm not messing with anybody.

0:19:32 > 0:19:36What I'm saying is, I have to find a wife in...

0:19:36 > 0:19:4027 days, 20 hours and 17 minutes.

0:19:40 > 0:19:41Wow.

0:19:41 > 0:19:44It's what I do. HE CHUCKLES

0:19:44 > 0:19:45Wait a minute. Cupid!

0:19:45 > 0:19:47What do you need, pal?

0:19:47 > 0:19:49Shoot me with one of your darts. I'll fall in love.

0:19:49 > 0:19:54First of all, they're arrows. Second of all, no can do.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56The arrows have no effect on us.

0:19:56 > 0:19:58If they did, I would've shot myself in the butt,

0:19:58 > 0:20:01Met a nice girl, left the business years ago.

0:20:01 > 0:20:02All right, all right.

0:20:02 > 0:20:06-You can't stop being Santa! -I don't want to stop!

0:20:06 > 0:20:09Kids are 86% happier since you've taken the job.

0:20:09 > 0:20:11-He's absolutely right. -This is all I want to do.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13What am I gonna do?

0:20:14 > 0:20:16Well...y-y-

0:20:16 > 0:20:19You can't be two places at once.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22Maybe you can be.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24OK, everyone, can I get the room for a minute?

0:20:24 > 0:20:27Thank you. Just one minute.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29Take a cocoa break. Have a nice, long break.

0:20:29 > 0:20:30Relax, everyone.

0:20:30 > 0:20:34Just want to show Santa some improvements on the pantograph.

0:20:34 > 0:20:35Thanks, guys.

0:20:35 > 0:20:36Walk with me.

0:20:36 > 0:20:39I've tripled the RAM and reconfigured the circuitry paths.

0:20:39 > 0:20:42I see you've externalised the power source

0:20:42 > 0:20:46to make better use of the electromagnetic energy.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49Nah, it's there cos it looks really cool.

0:20:49 > 0:20:52Yeah, it does. Wait a minute. You tripled the RAM

0:20:52 > 0:20:54Curtis, I see where this is going.

0:20:54 > 0:20:56I am not getting in that machine.

0:20:56 > 0:21:00Besides, creating a copy of Santa won't solve our problems.

0:21:00 > 0:21:01It would be a toy.

0:21:01 > 0:21:03But this will be a very special toy.

0:21:03 > 0:21:05How's that, Curtis?

0:21:05 > 0:21:08I added a fuzzy logic circuit to the pantograph.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10The duplicate will look and think like you,

0:21:10 > 0:21:14So when you're with your family, dealing with Charlie...

0:21:14 > 0:21:16The toy Santa will be here, melting by my fireplace.

0:21:16 > 0:21:19The toy Santa will be dealing with business up here.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22I can deal with business up here!

0:21:22 > 0:21:24If the elves find out we've made a switch -

0:21:24 > 0:21:28No! No! This machine is not the answer.

0:21:28 > 0:21:30( clattering, squeaking )

0:21:30 > 0:21:32Hey, hey!

0:21:32 > 0:21:35Hey, you! You! Shoo! MACHINERY WHIRRING

0:21:35 > 0:21:36W-w-w-w-w-whoa!

0:21:36 > 0:21:38No, no, no!

0:21:38 > 0:21:40ELECTRICITY CRACKLING

0:21:43 > 0:21:45WHIRRING SLOWS

0:21:48 > 0:21:50SQUEAKING

0:21:50 > 0:21:52SQUEAKING

0:21:55 > 0:21:58Look, you can't get much better than that.

0:21:58 > 0:22:00And I promise,

0:22:00 > 0:22:03It won't hurt a bit.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05Uh...

0:22:07 > 0:22:09I'm going in.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11Oh, I can't watch this!

0:22:34 > 0:22:35ELECTRICITY CRACKLING

0:22:41 > 0:22:42RUMBLING

0:22:42 > 0:22:44Ow! Ow!

0:22:46 > 0:22:48CRACKLING CONTINUES

0:23:03 > 0:23:05It's perfect!

0:23:07 > 0:23:09That's because it's me, Einstein.

0:23:11 > 0:23:14Santa, are you all right?

0:23:14 > 0:23:16I got a shock. Is there supposed to be a shock?

0:23:16 > 0:23:18-SCREAMS - SCREAMS

0:23:18 > 0:23:20ELECTRICITY CRACKLING

0:23:20 > 0:23:22ALL: It's naked!

0:23:22 > 0:23:25SANTA WOLF-WHISTLES

0:23:25 > 0:23:28-Uh, throw something over him. -Right!

0:23:28 > 0:23:29It's incredible!

0:23:29 > 0:23:31Yes, it is.

0:23:31 > 0:23:33LAUGHS

0:23:33 > 0:23:37Um, can he talk?

0:23:39 > 0:23:41Hello?

0:23:41 > 0:23:43GRUNTING

0:23:43 > 0:23:45Hello?

0:23:46 > 0:23:47Hello?

0:23:50 > 0:23:53Ho-ho-ho!

0:23:53 > 0:23:55Ho-ho...ho.

0:23:55 > 0:23:56Not bad.

0:23:56 > 0:23:58Not bad yourself.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00CHUCKLES

0:24:00 > 0:24:02I can't put my finger on it,

0:24:02 > 0:24:04but there's something about you I like.

0:24:04 > 0:24:07There's something about you I like.

0:24:07 > 0:24:09Huh.

0:24:09 > 0:24:12You watch him. I'll be right back.

0:24:12 > 0:24:14He's coming right back.

0:24:15 > 0:24:17Ha ha ha.

0:24:17 > 0:24:19Bernard, I need your help on this.

0:24:19 > 0:24:20What do you mean?

0:24:20 > 0:24:22I got to go see Charlie,

0:24:22 > 0:24:23And I want you to convince the elves

0:24:23 > 0:24:26That...toy Santa is me.

0:24:26 > 0:24:28Uh, hmm. Have you seen that thing?

0:24:28 > 0:24:30I think if you keep the elves at a distance

0:24:30 > 0:24:33and tell them I changed my look, it'll work.

0:24:33 > 0:24:37Oh, Santa, we're in way over our heads here.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39If anybody can do this, it's you, number one.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42I'm not gonna lie to all the elves!

0:24:42 > 0:24:45I myself think he looks absolutely terrific,

0:24:45 > 0:24:49Better, and fresher somehow, than he has in years.

0:24:49 > 0:24:51There's a more supple veneer to his skin

0:24:51 > 0:24:54and an added lustre to the thickness of his hair.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57You could almost say there's a - a -

0:24:57 > 0:24:59a toylike quality to him.

0:24:59 > 0:25:03Most importantly, he's very happy with his new look,

0:25:03 > 0:25:06And I would caution you all not to point or stare

0:25:06 > 0:25:10Or use the word "plastic," OK?

0:25:10 > 0:25:12OK. Thank you. That's it. That's all. Back to work, please.

0:25:13 > 0:25:15INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS

0:25:18 > 0:25:20(Reindeer chattering indistinctly)

0:25:20 > 0:25:23Comet, because I don't want to take Prancer.

0:25:23 > 0:25:25I want to take a trip with you.

0:25:25 > 0:25:27When's the last time you and I just had a cruise?

0:25:27 > 0:25:29I love ya, buddy.

0:25:29 > 0:25:32Besides, last night, Prancer had too many apples.

0:25:32 > 0:25:33We know what that means.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35Before you go, take a look at your watch.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38Hey. Can't go anywhere without that.

0:25:38 > 0:25:40-I've done some work on it. -It's beautiful, Bernard.

0:25:40 > 0:25:41You like it?

0:25:41 > 0:25:44I love it! I love the little burnished stuff.

0:25:44 > 0:25:47I've added a power reserve that measures how much magic you have.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49-It's at 10. -That should be enough.

0:25:49 > 0:25:52If at any time you use up any magic for any reason,

0:25:52 > 0:25:53the level drops.

0:25:53 > 0:25:56Santa, if it gets to zero,

0:25:56 > 0:25:59you won't be able to return to the Pole.

0:25:59 > 0:26:00GRUNTING: Uh-oh.

0:26:01 > 0:26:04Then let's not let it get to zero!

0:26:04 > 0:26:06Now, look at me.

0:26:06 > 0:26:08Mm-hmm?

0:26:08 > 0:26:10What's the most important thing?

0:26:10 > 0:26:13For you not to touch Santa?

0:26:13 > 0:26:16For you to come back! LAUGHS

0:26:16 > 0:26:18-GRUNTING -Thank you.

0:26:18 > 0:26:22Comet, please just chill out a little bit, OK?

0:26:22 > 0:26:23- Come on. - GROANS

0:26:23 > 0:26:26It's not like we're pulling the sleigh or anything.

0:26:26 > 0:26:29Right? There's no packages. It's one stop.

0:26:29 > 0:26:31I think I forgot - we're gonna go see Charlie.

0:26:33 > 0:26:35HOOFBEATS

0:26:41 > 0:26:43BELL RINGS

0:26:43 > 0:26:44-Scott! -Hey!

0:26:44 > 0:26:46Hey, you trimmed your beard!

0:26:46 > 0:26:48Yeah.

0:26:48 > 0:26:49Come here, big guy.

0:26:49 > 0:26:51CHUCKLES

0:26:51 > 0:26:53Whoa, you lost some weight there, huh?

0:26:53 > 0:26:54Slim-fast?

0:26:54 > 0:26:56You don't know how fast.

0:26:56 > 0:26:57We should get going.

0:26:57 > 0:26:59How do you always know when there's a problem?

0:26:59 > 0:27:03I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake.

0:27:03 > 0:27:06Which is pretty frightening when you think about it.

0:27:06 > 0:27:10We're worried about Charlie. He keeps upping the ante.

0:27:10 > 0:27:12This time, he defaced school property.

0:27:12 > 0:27:14It's a classic case of acting out.

0:27:14 > 0:27:17- I'm blaming myself for this. - Come on. We're both his parents.

0:27:17 > 0:27:19He's waiting in Principal Newman's office.

0:27:19 > 0:27:22That woman makes me want to deface public property.

0:27:22 > 0:27:25-Hey! -Hello, Mr Calvin.

0:27:25 > 0:27:26Laura, Neil.

0:27:26 > 0:27:27-Miss Newman. -Miss Newman.

0:27:27 > 0:27:29Principal Newman.

0:27:29 > 0:27:32I haven't seen you since the last time Charlie was in trouble.

0:27:32 > 0:27:33I've been travelling for work.

0:27:33 > 0:27:35If you spent more time with your son,

0:27:35 > 0:27:37there would be fewer problems.

0:27:37 > 0:27:41Maybe, but then I wouldn't get to spend time with you.

0:27:41 > 0:27:43Oh, a battle of wits.

0:27:43 > 0:27:44It's a shame that you come unarmed.

0:27:44 > 0:27:45Excuse me.

0:27:45 > 0:27:47Ouch.

0:27:50 > 0:27:52Good morning, Principal Newman.

0:27:52 > 0:27:55Mr Picardo, I want you to look into my eyes.

0:27:55 > 0:27:56What do you see?

0:27:57 > 0:28:00It's dark. And it's cold.

0:28:00 > 0:28:02It's your future, Mr Picardo.

0:28:02 > 0:28:04Keep this up, and you will spend your life

0:28:04 > 0:28:06stabbing trash by the highway.

0:28:06 > 0:28:08What are you gonna do?

0:28:08 > 0:28:10I'm going straight to third-period geometry.

0:28:10 > 0:28:11Have a nice trip.

0:28:17 > 0:28:19Not only is it an affront to authority,

0:28:19 > 0:28:21but a blatant disrespect for property.

0:28:21 > 0:28:24If this sort of thing continues, I'll have no other recourse -

0:28:24 > 0:28:28Is there a rest stop between here and the end of the lecture?

0:28:28 > 0:28:31Because I'm more interested in why this happened.

0:28:31 > 0:28:32So am I.

0:28:32 > 0:28:35Charlie, we're all worried about you.

0:28:35 > 0:28:38It feels to me you're trying to get someone's attention.

0:28:38 > 0:28:40What's bothering you?

0:28:43 > 0:28:45-Dr. Miller? -Neil.

0:28:45 > 0:28:46Neil, do you have any theories?

0:28:46 > 0:28:49Well, frankly, I have several.

0:28:49 > 0:28:52Here we go. Let's just order a pizza.

0:28:52 > 0:28:53Scott, you're not helping.

0:28:53 > 0:28:57I was listening to a new tape series on child development just last night.

0:28:59 > 0:29:01You know what the problem is? Excuse me, Neil.

0:29:01 > 0:29:05It's four weeks until Christmas.

0:29:05 > 0:29:07- That's a major holiday in December. - Oh.

0:29:07 > 0:29:10Have you noticed the hallways in this school?

0:29:10 > 0:29:12There's not a decoration, a twinkle light,

0:29:12 > 0:29:13not an expression of happiness and joy

0:29:13 > 0:29:15that kids are supposed to be feeling.

0:29:15 > 0:29:17What kind of school are you running?

0:29:17 > 0:29:19A public school.

0:29:19 > 0:29:22The top academically-rated public school in the district.

0:29:22 > 0:29:24That takes a lot of effort and money,

0:29:24 > 0:29:27and spending any of that money on holiday decorations

0:29:27 > 0:29:30would take away from the things that truly matter.

0:29:30 > 0:29:31Forgive me, but I think holiday cheer matters.

0:29:31 > 0:29:34What are we going to do? Charlie, we are really worried.

0:29:34 > 0:29:37I'll handle this. Charlie, you know what you did is wrong, right?

0:29:37 > 0:29:39I guess so.

0:29:39 > 0:29:41There's no guessing. Guessing is gone.

0:29:41 > 0:29:43It was wrong, and you're not gonna do it again. Promise me.

0:29:43 > 0:29:45OK.

0:29:45 > 0:29:48There you go. He's good to his word. He won't do it again.

0:29:48 > 0:29:50- Meeting is adjourned. - It most certainly is not!

0:29:50 > 0:29:53< You know what else? Here's a little donation.

0:29:53 > 0:29:55Why don't you buy yourself a wreath.

0:29:55 > 0:29:57SHE GASPS

0:29:58 > 0:30:01I am Santa Claus. Boo!

0:30:01 > 0:30:02HE CHUCKLES

0:30:02 > 0:30:06Yeah. No, no, I think that this is gonna work.

0:30:06 > 0:30:08Good - Good job, Curtis.

0:30:08 > 0:30:12Would it kill you to give a compliment with your whole heart?

0:30:12 > 0:30:14< Ho ho ho.

0:30:14 > 0:30:17Santa...

0:30:17 > 0:30:19I need you to take a look at this.

0:30:19 > 0:30:22All right! Nice!

0:30:22 > 0:30:24No, I mean I need you to read it.

0:30:24 > 0:30:27Well, let's try to be specific, shall we?

0:30:27 > 0:30:30Ha ha! I'll take a look at it over at my desk.

0:30:31 > 0:30:33How does he know where his desk is?

0:30:33 > 0:30:35I programmed him that way.

0:30:35 > 0:30:38He has most of Santa's memories.

0:30:38 > 0:30:41OK, we need you to study everything that's in that book

0:30:41 > 0:30:43because it is the key to being Santa.

0:30:43 > 0:30:45Right!

0:30:45 > 0:30:50I'll memorise everything in the book!

0:30:50 > 0:30:52I'll follow all the rules!

0:30:52 > 0:30:54Yeah. Cos rules are very important.

0:30:55 > 0:30:56I like this guy.

0:30:56 > 0:31:00- I can barely read this. - Hi, Santa.

0:31:00 > 0:31:01Uh...hi.

0:31:01 > 0:31:03Oh, you look -

0:31:03 > 0:31:05Like he got a good night's sleep.

0:31:08 > 0:31:13Like you got a very good night's sleep.

0:31:13 > 0:31:15How about a nice, chocolatey cocoa?

0:31:17 > 0:31:19TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

0:31:19 > 0:31:21SQUEAKS

0:31:29 > 0:31:31Careful. It's hot.

0:31:31 > 0:31:32Well, of course it is.

0:31:37 > 0:31:39SQUEAKING

0:31:39 > 0:31:40GULPING

0:31:47 > 0:31:48Aah!

0:31:50 > 0:31:54Whoo! That's delicious!

0:31:54 > 0:31:56I like cocoa!

0:31:56 > 0:31:58Cocoa's superior refreshment! Ha ha ha ha!

0:31:58 > 0:32:00Get me some more cocoa!

0:32:00 > 0:32:02Whoo!

0:32:02 > 0:32:03Right away, Santa!

0:32:03 > 0:32:06Ho, whoa!

0:32:06 > 0:32:09I think Santa feels a little buzz!

0:32:09 > 0:32:11Whoo!

0:32:11 > 0:32:13Let me get this straight.

0:32:13 > 0:32:14You were de-santafying,

0:32:14 > 0:32:18And you only have 27 days to find a wife or you're out?

0:32:18 > 0:32:20Yeah.

0:32:20 > 0:32:22What are you gonna do?

0:32:22 > 0:32:23We dated for three years

0:32:23 > 0:32:26Before you finally got up the courage to propose.

0:32:26 > 0:32:28That's a pretty serious commitment issue, isn't it?

0:32:28 > 0:32:30Why, yes, it is, Sigmund.

0:32:30 > 0:32:33I was afraid I'd mess up. I'm more afraid now.

0:32:33 > 0:32:35You can't give up. There's never been a better Santa than you.

0:32:35 > 0:32:38I appreciate that, sport. Maybe it's for the best.

0:32:38 > 0:32:41If I'd spend more time with you, you'd spend less time

0:32:41 > 0:32:43supporting the spray-paint industry.

0:32:43 > 0:32:45You have been a great dad,

0:32:45 > 0:32:48and being Santa has made you an even better man.

0:32:48 > 0:32:50I'm gonna go out on an emotional limb

0:32:50 > 0:32:53Neil, don't try to make me cry.

0:32:53 > 0:32:56You have a great capacity for love.

0:32:56 > 0:32:58I know you can find someone wonderful

0:32:58 > 0:33:00to spend the rest of your life with.

0:33:00 > 0:33:02Don't let the facts -

0:33:02 > 0:33:04that you have no time, no prospects,

0:33:04 > 0:33:07and a paralysing fear of intimacy - get you down.

0:33:07 > 0:33:10Hmm. Have you ever helped anyone...ever?

0:33:10 > 0:33:11You know what I'm gonna do?

0:33:11 > 0:33:13I'm gonna look through my phone book

0:33:13 > 0:33:16and see who's still single and not too bitter.

0:33:16 > 0:33:19There's plenty of divorced moms who'll go out with anybody.

0:33:19 > 0:33:22As promising as this sounds, I don't need help in this area.

0:33:22 > 0:33:24Your old man was a legend in high school -

0:33:24 > 0:33:27I was a double letterman, I had a Mustang.

0:33:27 > 0:33:29So as far as dating goes,

0:33:29 > 0:33:32I think if anybody can stir up the old mojo,

0:33:32 > 0:33:34it would be moi. Come on.

0:33:34 > 0:33:36I don't think there's a woman out there

0:33:36 > 0:33:39that doesn't want a piece of this.

0:33:40 > 0:33:41DOOR CLOSES

0:33:41 > 0:33:43LUCY: Hi, mom!

0:33:43 > 0:33:45Lucy!

0:33:45 > 0:33:46Uncle Scott!

0:33:46 > 0:33:48How's my little sweet pea?

0:33:48 > 0:33:51Oh! I haven't seen you in a long time.

0:33:51 > 0:33:53Well, tell me what's been happening.

0:33:53 > 0:33:57I learned to swim underwater, and I'm not afraid!

0:33:57 > 0:33:59That's amazing. Wait a minute.

0:33:59 > 0:34:01Maybe we'll have to go to the mall

0:34:01 > 0:34:03and get some ice cream. SHE GASPS

0:34:03 > 0:34:07- Dad - plenty of women at the mall. - Charlie.

0:34:07 > 0:34:08Santa, I need you to look forward

0:34:08 > 0:34:09and put on a smiley face.

0:34:09 > 0:34:11Say hello to your elves.

0:34:11 > 0:34:12Ho ho ho!

0:34:12 > 0:34:14You're all doing a wonderful job!

0:34:14 > 0:34:17Santa, when you said the bigger wheels,

0:34:17 > 0:34:19is this what you meant?

0:34:19 > 0:34:23Ho ho ho! You're doing a wonderful job!

0:34:23 > 0:34:25You're doing great.

0:34:25 > 0:34:27You could dial it down on the "ho ho hos,"

0:34:27 > 0:34:29but otherwise, you're gold.

0:34:29 > 0:34:30Ho ho-ho!

0:34:30 > 0:34:32HO ho-ho!

0:34:32 > 0:34:33< Ho-ho-ho, ho ho ho!

0:34:33 > 0:34:36Why don't you just say it?

0:34:36 > 0:34:39"You were right, Curtis. I was wrong."

0:34:39 > 0:34:41OK, OK. I admit it.

0:34:41 > 0:34:44They're happy, they're working hard,

0:34:44 > 0:34:46Everything's going to be fine.

0:34:46 > 0:34:48This book is very interesting.

0:34:48 > 0:34:50There's a lot of rules here they're not following.

0:34:50 > 0:34:52That's what I've been saying all along.

0:34:52 > 0:34:56Things have gotten a little too sloppy around here.

0:34:56 > 0:34:57Yes!

0:34:57 > 0:34:58And sloppiness means mistakes,

0:34:58 > 0:35:00And mistakes aren't a good thing!

0:35:02 > 0:35:05I think I might have to make some changes.

0:35:05 > 0:35:08- What did you have in mind? - Let me show you.

0:35:08 > 0:35:11There's many things. Look here.

0:35:11 > 0:35:12SCOTT: Neil.

0:35:12 > 0:35:15Are you sure you don't have other clothes I can borrow?

0:35:15 > 0:35:17The idea tonight is to attract a woman.

0:35:17 > 0:35:18What are you talking about?

0:35:18 > 0:35:20I look like a limesicle.

0:35:20 > 0:35:22I think it makes you look hot.

0:35:22 > 0:35:24What do you think, Laura? Honestly?

0:35:24 > 0:35:26Doesn't he look hot, Laura?

0:35:26 > 0:35:29I think it's what's inside that really counts.

0:35:29 > 0:35:31I thought you liked that sweater.

0:35:31 > 0:35:33We'll talk about it later.

0:35:33 > 0:35:35All right, I'm off, but I need to borrow a car.

0:35:35 > 0:35:37I'm parked behind Neil. Take the mini-van.

0:35:38 > 0:35:41The mini-van. OK, then.

0:35:41 > 0:35:43Well, wish me luck.

0:35:43 > 0:35:46I got a needlepoint sweater and a mini-van.

0:35:46 > 0:35:48SIGHS: See you in about eight minutes.

0:35:59 > 0:36:00Scott? Hey.

0:36:00 > 0:36:01- Tracy. - Yes.

0:36:01 > 0:36:03- Hi. - Hey.

0:36:03 > 0:36:04- Um... - Nice to meet you.

0:36:04 > 0:36:06- Nice to meet you. - You too.

0:36:06 > 0:36:08Um, here. Why don't you sit down?

0:36:08 > 0:36:10Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

0:36:15 > 0:36:17So, I'm so glad we finally got to do this.

0:36:17 > 0:36:18I'm pretty nervous.

0:36:18 > 0:36:19- Oh, are you? - Yeah.

0:36:19 > 0:36:21Laura says we have a lot in common.

0:36:21 > 0:36:23You love this time of year also?

0:36:23 > 0:36:26It's my favourite time of year, and my busiest.

0:36:26 > 0:36:27Whoa. Look at the sweater.

0:36:27 > 0:36:29SHE LAUGHS

0:36:29 > 0:36:30Some sweater.

0:36:30 > 0:36:31Oh.

0:36:31 > 0:36:33Like I should talk. Ha ha ha!

0:36:33 > 0:36:35I also have my Christmas charm bracelet.

0:36:35 > 0:36:37That's beautiful.

0:36:37 > 0:36:38Lots of pretty charms.

0:36:38 > 0:36:40Look at them all!

0:36:40 > 0:36:42I wear it all year long to keep the spirit alive.

0:36:42 > 0:36:43That's gorgeous. Look at all these.

0:36:43 > 0:36:46And you got packages. That's very nice.

0:36:46 > 0:36:47Yeah.

0:36:47 > 0:36:49So.

0:36:49 > 0:36:51So, what kind of work do you do?

0:36:51 > 0:36:53I'm in the toy business.

0:36:53 > 0:36:55- No way. - Way.

0:36:57 > 0:36:59Oh. That sounds so creative.

0:36:59 > 0:37:00I love it.

0:37:00 > 0:37:01I love creative people.

0:37:01 > 0:37:02Yeah?

0:37:02 > 0:37:05Yeah. SHE LAUGHS

0:37:05 > 0:37:06So...

0:37:06 > 0:37:08So, what do you do?

0:37:08 > 0:37:12I'm actually hoping to break into the music business

0:37:12 > 0:37:13as a singer-songwriter.

0:37:13 > 0:37:15- No way. - Way.

0:37:15 > 0:37:17What's your favourite kind of music?

0:37:17 > 0:37:20- Country and western. - Oh.

0:37:20 > 0:37:22Do you like Shania Twain?

0:37:22 > 0:37:24- Yeah. - Yeah.

0:37:24 > 0:37:28# The best thing about singin' at Christmas

0:37:28 > 0:37:31# Is the cocoa, carolin', and fi... #

0:37:31 > 0:37:33You know that one?

0:37:33 > 0:37:35# Wh-o-o-oa go totally yuletide

0:37:35 > 0:37:37# Taking a sleigh ride... # - Good.

0:37:37 > 0:37:40# Santa shirts, reindeer skirts

0:37:40 > 0:37:42# Wh-o-o-oa... # - Oh! Hey!

0:37:42 > 0:37:46# Watchin' the windows fog, drinkin' some eggnog

0:37:46 > 0:37:48# Wh-o-o-oa... # SHE LAUGHS

0:37:48 > 0:37:52# Fill up a stocking, spray on some flocking

0:37:52 > 0:37:54# Put up a tree, sports on TV

0:37:54 > 0:37:57# Wh-o-o-oa

0:37:57 > 0:37:59# I want to be free, yeah

0:37:59 > 0:38:02# To feel the way I feel

0:38:02 > 0:38:04# Ah-ah-ah-ah Man!

0:38:04 > 0:38:07# I feel like some Christmas

0:38:07 > 0:38:12# Oh, oh, wow, wow, wow. #

0:38:14 > 0:38:16HE CHUCKLES

0:38:17 > 0:38:20Whoo. Ha.

0:38:20 > 0:38:22What, you hated it?

0:38:22 > 0:38:25It kind of scared me a little bit.

0:38:26 > 0:38:31No, I just wasn't prepared for a performance.

0:38:31 > 0:38:35I put myself out there doing that, and that was not easy,

0:38:35 > 0:38:37and if you can't support a woman's ambition,

0:38:37 > 0:38:40then I don't think there's any reason to continue this date.

0:38:40 > 0:38:42KNOCK ON DOOR

0:38:42 > 0:38:44- Dad? - Hey, sport.

0:38:44 > 0:38:46How'd it go?

0:38:46 > 0:38:48Well...

0:38:48 > 0:38:52Let's just say I'm not booking a church yet.

0:38:52 > 0:38:57Boy, I'll tell you, women are hard to figure out.

0:38:57 > 0:38:58Tell me about it.

0:38:58 > 0:39:01You, too, huh? Girl trouble?

0:39:01 > 0:39:03Well, there's this one girl.

0:39:03 > 0:39:07We just used to be friends and hang out at the mall and stuff.

0:39:07 > 0:39:09But then one day I looked at her,

0:39:09 > 0:39:12and I got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

0:39:12 > 0:39:15I started worrying about what I was gonna wear,

0:39:15 > 0:39:17what my hair looked like.

0:39:17 > 0:39:20And then I wanted to kiss her.

0:39:20 > 0:39:22GASPS

0:39:22 > 0:39:23How'd she do that?

0:39:23 > 0:39:26I don't know. But they all can do that.

0:39:27 > 0:39:29Oh, look at that.

0:39:29 > 0:39:31The snowglobe.

0:39:31 > 0:39:33This is so beautiful.

0:39:33 > 0:39:35I remember when Bernard gave this to you.

0:39:35 > 0:39:38He said all I have to do to see you is shake it.

0:39:38 > 0:39:40Now all you have to do is yell down the hall.

0:39:40 > 0:39:42CHUCKLES

0:39:42 > 0:39:44And I'm there whenever you need me.

0:39:44 > 0:39:45Yeah.

0:39:45 > 0:39:48I-I'm a little tired right now, Dad.

0:39:48 > 0:39:49I'll see you in the morning.

0:39:51 > 0:39:53OK.

0:39:53 > 0:39:55- Good night. - Night.

0:39:56 > 0:39:58Can you turn the light off, please?

0:39:58 > 0:40:01Yeah, cos it's such a big reach for you.

0:40:01 > 0:40:02Yeah.

0:40:04 > 0:40:06GRUNTING

0:40:08 > 0:40:10What do you mean it's not straight?

0:40:10 > 0:40:13GRUNTS

0:40:13 > 0:40:15Sure, it's straight.

0:40:15 > 0:40:16GRUNTING: Unh-unh.

0:40:16 > 0:40:17Maybe your head's crooked.

0:40:17 > 0:40:20GRUNTING

0:40:20 > 0:40:22You know, Prancer's not this picky.

0:40:22 > 0:40:24GRUNTING: Yeah, he is.

0:40:24 > 0:40:26- Hi, Comet! GRUNTS

0:40:27 > 0:40:30I've got something for you.

0:40:30 > 0:40:31Hey, Lucy, what do you got there?

0:40:33 > 0:40:37You got to be careful with sweets. He tends to overeat.

0:40:37 > 0:40:39Uncle Scott, are you Santa Claus?

0:40:39 > 0:40:42What? Why would you ask me something like that?

0:40:42 > 0:40:45Cos you have a reindeer, and only Santa has reindeer.

0:40:45 > 0:40:49- A lot of people have reindeer. - Name five.

0:40:49 > 0:40:50CHUCKLES

0:40:50 > 0:40:52Well.

0:40:52 > 0:40:56Most of them live in Finland. I can't pronounce their names.

0:40:59 > 0:41:03Besides, reindeer are too stupid to make good pets.

0:41:03 > 0:41:07Well, I think you're very smart.

0:41:07 > 0:41:09GIGGLING

0:41:10 > 0:41:13Well, I think he's learning at an excellent rate.

0:41:13 > 0:41:14- Oh, really? - Yes.

0:41:14 > 0:41:16This morning he ate a bowl of waxed fruit.

0:41:16 > 0:41:18Wait a minute.

0:41:18 > 0:41:21I need the naughty and nice list.

0:41:21 > 0:41:22No.

0:41:22 > 0:41:24It says I'm supposed to check it twice.

0:41:24 > 0:41:26Santa already checked it.

0:41:26 > 0:41:27No, I didn't.

0:41:27 > 0:41:28The real Santa.

0:41:28 > 0:41:30I am the real Santa.

0:41:30 > 0:41:31I'm sorry?

0:41:31 > 0:41:33- I'm in charge here. - What?

0:41:33 > 0:41:35I'm supposed to check the list twice, that's the rule.

0:41:35 > 0:41:37I like rules, you're aware of how I feel about that.

0:41:37 > 0:41:40- You're misunderstanding something. - No, I'm a rulemaker.

0:41:40 > 0:41:43I like the rules, Santa likes rules...

0:41:43 > 0:41:45How about we have some fun?!

0:41:45 > 0:41:47- Uh? - It's good to have fun.

0:41:47 > 0:41:48Right.

0:41:48 > 0:41:51Santa, look over there, see those elves?

0:41:51 > 0:41:54Go ahead, go play some tinsel football.

0:41:54 > 0:41:56Break!

0:41:57 > 0:41:59What's the object of this tinsel football?

0:41:59 > 0:42:00Come on down.

0:42:00 > 0:42:03If you don't have the ball, get it.

0:42:03 > 0:42:05If you have the ball, run to the end zone.

0:42:10 > 0:42:11OK.

0:42:11 > 0:42:14I'll go get the football.

0:42:14 > 0:42:16Ready? Pike!

0:42:18 > 0:42:19Ahhhhh!

0:42:22 > 0:42:24All right, I got the ball, what are you gonna do about it?

0:42:24 > 0:42:27Who's gonna stop me? Come on!

0:42:27 > 0:42:28This is a lot of fun.

0:42:33 > 0:42:35Oh, so sorry(!)

0:42:48 > 0:42:50Ah! You...!

0:42:50 > 0:42:52Stop! Slow down when I'm talking to you.

0:42:52 > 0:42:53Come here you!

0:42:55 > 0:42:56Argh!

0:43:00 > 0:43:02He's heading east toward the main entrance.

0:43:02 > 0:43:04GLASS SHATTERS

0:43:09 > 0:43:11Hello, Charlie.

0:43:11 > 0:43:13PANTING

0:43:13 > 0:43:16Hello, Principal Newman.

0:43:16 > 0:43:17BELL RINGS

0:43:17 > 0:43:19Are Laura and Neil on their way?

0:43:19 > 0:43:21No, I volunteered to go solo on this one.

0:43:21 > 0:43:24You look... you've really lost weight.

0:43:24 > 0:43:25Are you feeling all right?

0:43:25 > 0:43:27I was until I got this phone call.

0:43:34 > 0:43:37Charlie, you promised you weren't gonna do this again.

0:43:37 > 0:43:40What's the matter with you? I'm gonna have to punish you.

0:43:40 > 0:43:42I'll ground him for two months.

0:43:42 > 0:43:45- I thought you were on my side! - Charlie, you're suspended.

0:43:45 > 0:43:48- But, Dad! - Hold on a second.

0:43:48 > 0:43:50I'm as upset as you, but isn't there a way we can punish him

0:43:50 > 0:43:53that doesn't involve taking him out of school?

0:43:53 > 0:43:56- What did you have in mind? - We could...er, I...er, ga-ga...

0:43:56 > 0:43:58Community service?

0:43:58 > 0:44:00Huh.

0:44:00 > 0:44:03That's not a bad idea.

0:44:04 > 0:44:08OK, Charlie, I want you to start by cleaning up this wall.

0:44:08 > 0:44:11I want everything off of there by tonight.

0:44:11 > 0:44:15Then, you can clean every mark off every locker in this hall.

0:44:15 > 0:44:17- Every one?! - Do as she says, Charlie.

0:44:17 > 0:44:20But I have homework, tests to study for.

0:44:20 > 0:44:22I have a detention group that meets on Saturday,

0:44:22 > 0:44:25so we will get together at Sullivan rec centre

0:44:25 > 0:44:27and scrape off graffiti at 8am.

0:44:27 > 0:44:30- See you both there. - Both of us?

0:44:30 > 0:44:32CHUCKLES: I'm very busy.

0:44:32 > 0:44:33I do a lot of other community service.

0:44:33 > 0:44:36That's good. You just got elected parent rep.

0:44:36 > 0:44:40And, Charlie, we'll talk about the suspension.

0:44:42 > 0:44:43SIGHS

0:44:49 > 0:44:50Oh, Jeez.

0:44:55 > 0:44:57INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS

0:44:57 > 0:45:01Curtis, what is he doing in the naughty and nice centre?

0:45:02 > 0:45:03What's going on here?

0:45:03 > 0:45:06Well, I'm checking the naughty/nice list.

0:45:06 > 0:45:07Actually, I'm checking it twice.

0:45:07 > 0:45:10I already told you!

0:45:10 > 0:45:12It's been checked. Don't worry about it.

0:45:12 > 0:45:14I do worry. There's a lot of mistakes.

0:45:14 > 0:45:16I'll give you a big, fat for instance.

0:45:16 > 0:45:20In Denmark, there's a guy named Sven Hallstrom. He's a Dane.

0:45:20 > 0:45:23Apparently he was wiping his nose on his sister's shirt.

0:45:23 > 0:45:27Yuck! That's not very nice, and yet he's on the nice list.

0:45:27 > 0:45:30We try to cut the children a little slack this time of year.

0:45:30 > 0:45:32I don't understand that!

0:45:32 > 0:45:34It looks like kids are misbehaving everywhere.

0:45:34 > 0:45:37They're running with scissors, they're always sticky.

0:45:37 > 0:45:40"I'm not gonna stop this car! No, we're not there yet!

0:45:40 > 0:45:43"Brush your teeth! Pick up those clothes!"

0:45:43 > 0:45:44It goes on and on.

0:45:44 > 0:45:46But they're just kids.

0:45:46 > 0:45:48Everybody misbehaves sometime.

0:45:48 > 0:45:50But according to the Santa handbook,

0:45:50 > 0:45:54naughty kids get lumps of coal in their stockings, right?

0:45:54 > 0:45:57If they don't have stockings, we will make them stockings.

0:45:57 > 0:46:02I think they should get coal in their stockings, don't you?

0:46:02 > 0:46:04That's not how it works!

0:46:04 > 0:46:06Get me the naughty/nice list.

0:46:06 > 0:46:09Get me every list. Get me everything.

0:46:09 > 0:46:12# With the message for the kids sayin' they should be nice

0:46:12 > 0:46:14# Not naughty, cos Santa knows karate

0:46:14 > 0:46:17# He's on the crossfader, hip-hop hooray-der... #

0:46:17 > 0:46:20Mr Amorale. Mr Leary.

0:46:21 > 0:46:23Hey. You in charge of the gangbangers?

0:46:23 > 0:46:24They're students, actually. And, yes.

0:46:24 > 0:46:26Just keep away from the car. It's new.

0:46:26 > 0:46:29I don't need some delinquent kid scratching it up.

0:46:29 > 0:46:31Hey. They're not delinquents, they're good kids.

0:46:31 > 0:46:33And don't worry about your car.

0:46:33 > 0:46:35I'd spend more time worrying about your legs in those shorts.

0:46:35 > 0:46:38I thought only swimmers shaved their legs.

0:46:38 > 0:46:40Good morning.

0:46:40 > 0:46:42- Good morning. - I brought you coffee.

0:46:42 > 0:46:44Thank you.

0:46:44 > 0:46:47So you actually have a nice-guy side.

0:46:47 > 0:46:49I'm a man of many sides.

0:46:49 > 0:46:52I'm a puzzle. I'm a Rubik's cube with pants.

0:46:52 > 0:46:54SHE CHUCKLES That was an actual laugh.

0:46:54 > 0:46:56- Dad, it doesn't come off. - It's not supposed to come off.

0:46:56 > 0:46:59Hence, you've got to be careful where you put it.

0:46:59 > 0:47:02Hence, tagging is serious. Hence, your presence here.

0:47:02 > 0:47:06Don't say "hence" anymore, Dad. It's really annoying.

0:47:06 > 0:47:09BELL RINGS

0:47:09 > 0:47:10Nicely done.

0:47:10 > 0:47:12How do you do it? I have trouble with one.

0:47:12 > 0:47:15You take care of hundreds.

0:47:15 > 0:47:18- Hi. - Hi.

0:47:18 > 0:47:21I was really good this year.

0:47:21 > 0:47:22CHUCKLES: Is that so?

0:47:22 > 0:47:24Are you absolutely sure about that, Pamela?

0:47:24 > 0:47:28I want a dollhouse and a swimming pool.

0:47:28 > 0:47:30A swimming pool?

0:47:30 > 0:47:31I'm sorry. She just insisted on talking to you.

0:47:31 > 0:47:33It's not a problem.

0:47:33 > 0:47:36I'll tell you what.

0:47:36 > 0:47:39If you can promise me you'll be good,

0:47:39 > 0:47:42I can personally guarantee you'll have a great Christmas.

0:47:42 > 0:47:45- Yay. - Come on.

0:47:51 > 0:47:53Kids get so nutty this time of year.

0:47:53 > 0:47:55Is she a neighbour or something?

0:47:55 > 0:47:56No.

0:47:56 > 0:47:57How did you know her name?

0:47:57 > 0:48:00Uh, the necklace said "Pamela" on it.

0:48:00 > 0:48:02Oh, I guess I missed that.

0:48:02 > 0:48:04I'm gonna go check on this group.

0:48:04 > 0:48:06BELL DINGS

0:48:10 > 0:48:12You cost me, Pamela.

0:48:13 > 0:48:15TOY SANTA: I just couldn't sleep

0:48:15 > 0:48:17thinking about all those rules.

0:48:17 > 0:48:19Am I wrong? Am I right? Does it matter?

0:48:19 > 0:48:23Couldn't have been the three gallons of cocoa I had.

0:48:23 > 0:48:25But you understand rules, don't you?

0:48:25 > 0:48:27You're highly decorated.

0:48:27 > 0:48:29Look at that face. There you go.

0:48:29 > 0:48:32There's a face only a mom would like.

0:48:32 > 0:48:35I don't have a mom, so I wouldn't know about that.

0:48:35 > 0:48:38Now, it's time for the big event.

0:48:38 > 0:48:41Guess what.

0:48:41 > 0:48:43Son, it's showtime!

0:48:43 > 0:48:46You're in the spotlight. Get bigger, would you?

0:48:46 > 0:48:48It's your big chance.

0:48:48 > 0:48:51I need a little help. I need a little muscle.

0:48:51 > 0:48:55I need a little nudge. Let's call yourself "the little nudge."

0:48:55 > 0:48:56This won't hurt,

0:48:56 > 0:48:59except for the electrical shock through your body.

0:48:59 > 0:49:01I'll see you on the other side!

0:49:01 > 0:49:03MACHINERY WHIRRING

0:49:20 > 0:49:22- Oh. Hi. - Hi, er...

0:49:22 > 0:49:25Looks like you're going out. I should've called.

0:49:25 > 0:49:27- No, it's OK. Come in. - Are you sure?

0:49:27 > 0:49:29Uh-huh.

0:49:33 > 0:49:35Is there a problem?

0:49:35 > 0:49:37No, no. I just, um, wond-

0:49:37 > 0:49:40I wondered if, um, i-if you would, er,

0:49:40 > 0:49:42if, um, i-i-if - do you...

0:49:42 > 0:49:44Do you want to go get some noodles?

0:49:46 > 0:49:48Or pie?

0:49:48 > 0:49:50But I don't want to keep you from your date.

0:49:50 > 0:49:51Oh, it's not a date.

0:49:51 > 0:49:53It's the faculty Christmas party.

0:49:53 > 0:49:54Oh.

0:49:54 > 0:49:57Is that your idea of a night on the town -

0:49:57 > 0:49:59noodles and pie?

0:49:59 > 0:50:02Well, yes, it is. What would be your idea?

0:50:02 > 0:50:03Pizza and a movie.

0:50:03 > 0:50:04- Thick or thin crust? - Got to be thin.

0:50:04 > 0:50:06Good. Movie?

0:50:06 > 0:50:09"Two For The Road" Audrey Hepburn, Albert Finney.

0:50:09 > 0:50:12The movie's OK, but the car was the star. '53 MGTD.

0:50:12 > 0:50:15British racing green, wire wheels. Beautiful.

0:50:15 > 0:50:18I'm impressed. That is a great car. My favourite car.

0:50:18 > 0:50:20Didn't like driving them in the rain.

0:50:20 > 0:50:24You have to push it to start it. Other than that, it's perfect.

0:50:24 > 0:50:25It's perfect, though.

0:50:25 > 0:50:27Yeah.

0:50:29 > 0:50:31You know, I could drive you to your party.

0:50:31 > 0:50:32That would be great.

0:50:32 > 0:50:35Except for eventually, I'm going to have to get home.

0:50:35 > 0:50:37Um, well, I-I could pick you up.

0:50:37 > 0:50:41So you're going to drop me off, then come back and pick me up?

0:50:41 > 0:50:42Yeah.

0:50:42 > 0:50:45- Why don't you just stay? - All right.

0:50:45 > 0:50:47I'll get my coat.

0:50:47 > 0:50:49So, Mr Andretti, what are you driving?

0:50:49 > 0:50:52You know, I think you're gonna like it.

0:51:04 > 0:51:06LAUGHS

0:51:06 > 0:51:07BELL DINGS

0:51:22 > 0:51:25- Do you mind if I ask you something personal? - Please.

0:51:25 > 0:51:27You look really different.

0:51:27 > 0:51:28The weight.

0:51:28 > 0:51:32Well, it's Indian teas and a lot of salves and stuff.

0:51:32 > 0:51:33Do you want some cocoa?

0:51:33 > 0:51:35Oh, yes.

0:51:35 > 0:51:38Cocoa? You really have thought of everything.

0:51:38 > 0:51:41Well, this time of year, I really shine.

0:51:41 > 0:51:44Yeah, I can't wait till it's over.

0:51:44 > 0:51:46Streets are crowded, malls are jammed,

0:51:46 > 0:51:48people maxing out their credit cards.

0:51:48 > 0:51:51When did you become such a cynic?

0:51:51 > 0:51:54Oh, I don't know.

0:51:54 > 0:51:56I used to love Christmas, too.

0:51:56 > 0:51:58It was my favourite time of year

0:51:58 > 0:52:01because it was the only day that my parents didn't fight.

0:52:01 > 0:52:02- Oh. - Oh.

0:52:02 > 0:52:06They were at each other all the time.

0:52:06 > 0:52:08But on Christmas,

0:52:08 > 0:52:11they tried really hard to make the holiday special.

0:52:11 > 0:52:14My dad went through this charade so I would believe in Santa Claus.

0:52:14 > 0:52:17He put a cot by the fireplace so Santa could take a nap.

0:52:17 > 0:52:19Like he has time to take a nap.

0:52:19 > 0:52:22You consider the amount of gifts that he would have to deliver,

0:52:22 > 0:52:24and then why would he nap? He probably needs coffee.

0:52:24 > 0:52:26Yeah.

0:52:26 > 0:52:31And there was cocoa and cookies and carrots for the reindeer.

0:52:31 > 0:52:34That's a good gesture, cos the reindeer love carrots.

0:52:34 > 0:52:36And the thought, it's important to them, too, you know?

0:52:36 > 0:52:40And I'd wake up, and the cocoa would be gone,

0:52:40 > 0:52:41the cookies would be gone, the cot would be mussed,

0:52:41 > 0:52:43and the carrots gnawed.

0:52:43 > 0:52:46They don't gnaw carrots. They swallow carrots whole.

0:52:46 > 0:52:50If they're good, fresh carrots, they eat them like that.

0:52:50 > 0:52:52The stories, if you read...

0:52:52 > 0:52:53LAUGHS

0:52:53 > 0:52:55And there would be

0:52:55 > 0:52:57the most incredible presents under the tree, all from Santa.

0:52:57 > 0:53:00One year was a rocking horse,

0:53:00 > 0:53:01and I named it Harvey.

0:53:01 > 0:53:05And the next year was a little red wagon,

0:53:05 > 0:53:08which I made my lemonade stand, which was great.

0:53:08 > 0:53:12And the last year was a...baby doll -

0:53:12 > 0:53:14it was pink and soft and beautiful.

0:53:15 > 0:53:16Beautiful.

0:53:16 > 0:53:19Yes.

0:53:19 > 0:53:22I believed in Santa so much, I would get in fights

0:53:22 > 0:53:25with kids who tried to tell me he didn't exist.

0:53:25 > 0:53:27And one day I came home with a bloody nose,

0:53:27 > 0:53:29and that's when my parents

0:53:29 > 0:53:33decided to tell me to... grow up.

0:53:33 > 0:53:35I was devastated.

0:53:35 > 0:53:38Well, good. Good, good, Carol.

0:53:38 > 0:53:41This is really great sleigh-riding conversation.

0:53:41 > 0:53:42It's fine conversation.

0:53:43 > 0:53:46A person just wants something to believe in, you know?

0:53:46 > 0:53:50Yes, I know. Yes, I know.

0:53:50 > 0:53:54OK, we have cocoa. We have a blanket.

0:53:54 > 0:53:58We have a horse-drawn sleigh. The only thing that's -

0:54:00 > 0:54:01What?

0:54:01 > 0:54:03It's snowing.

0:54:03 > 0:54:04Oh.

0:54:04 > 0:54:05As if by magic.

0:54:05 > 0:54:08That's what I was gonna say, that it should be snowing.

0:54:13 > 0:54:17# It's been a blue

0:54:17 > 0:54:23# blu-u-e ooh-ooh-ooh holiday

0:54:23 > 0:54:24# Blue

0:54:24 > 0:54:28# Since you've been gone

0:54:28 > 0:54:30# Ooh-ooh

0:54:30 > 0:54:35# Oh my darling

0:54:35 > 0:54:37# Won't you

0:54:37 > 0:54:42# Hurry, hurry home

0:54:42 > 0:54:47# It's been a blu-u-u-ue... #

0:54:50 > 0:54:52I owe you one.

0:54:52 > 0:54:54# I'm all alone... #

0:54:54 > 0:54:56It's a great party. Look.

0:54:56 > 0:54:58That guy moved.

0:54:58 > 0:55:01Would you excuse me for a minute?

0:55:01 > 0:55:02Mm-hmm.

0:55:02 > 0:55:08# I need your love to keep me... #

0:55:08 > 0:55:10MUSIC STOPS MICROPHONE SQUEAKS

0:55:10 > 0:55:13CROWD MURMURING

0:55:18 > 0:55:21Uh, could I have your attention?

0:55:21 > 0:55:22Your attention, please?

0:55:22 > 0:55:24There we go. Hi.

0:55:24 > 0:55:27I'm Scott Calvin, and I thought I'd step up here

0:55:27 > 0:55:30and say the word

0:55:30 > 0:55:33that we've all been longing to hear.

0:55:33 > 0:55:34Fire!

0:55:37 > 0:55:38OK.

0:55:38 > 0:55:40What I think, folks, is that a lot of you have just forgotten

0:55:40 > 0:55:44what the true spirit of Christmas is all about.

0:55:44 > 0:55:47Golly, if you're not willing to dance, laugh, flirt

0:55:47 > 0:55:49or risk your lives at the buffet,

0:55:49 > 0:55:51I don't think we have much choice.

0:55:51 > 0:55:52So before the choir gets out here,

0:55:52 > 0:55:55I say we rock this house with the secret Santa.

0:55:55 > 0:55:58Huh?

0:55:58 > 0:56:00Carol - happy, happy Christmas.

0:56:00 > 0:56:03I think they're just decorations for the carolers.

0:56:03 > 0:56:07She's afraid that these are just decorations for the caroling.

0:56:07 > 0:56:09I think Carol is right about the caroling.

0:56:09 > 0:56:12I'm talking about the packages that are backstage.

0:56:12 > 0:56:14There aren't any packages backstage.

0:56:14 > 0:56:17Oh, there's none back there. SIGHS

0:56:17 > 0:56:20So I was mistaken when I saw this bag of gifts.

0:56:20 > 0:56:23Maybe I'm wrong, but it sure looks like a bag of gifts.

0:56:23 > 0:56:26Oh! It's heavy like a bag of gifts.

0:56:26 > 0:56:28Look at this.

0:56:28 > 0:56:29What's in here?

0:56:29 > 0:56:31It - wait.

0:56:31 > 0:56:33Ooh, it's very heavy - very heavy.

0:56:35 > 0:56:37John Pierce.

0:56:37 > 0:56:39Doesn't your mom call you JJ?

0:56:42 > 0:56:43Merry Christmas, JJ.

0:56:53 > 0:56:55No way.

0:56:56 > 0:56:59This is Tossacross!

0:56:59 > 0:57:01I used to love this when I was a kid!

0:57:01 > 0:57:04But I never told anybody.

0:57:04 > 0:57:07Where did thi- who did this?

0:57:08 > 0:57:11- Grace Kim. - Here I am.

0:57:11 > 0:57:12Yes, there you are.

0:57:12 > 0:57:13Merry Christmas.

0:57:13 > 0:57:14Tom Astill.

0:57:14 > 0:57:16- That's me! - Hey!

0:57:16 > 0:57:17Sorry, Corey.

0:57:17 > 0:57:19You haven't changed a bit, have you, Tommy?

0:57:19 > 0:57:21- Lizzie Garcia. - Here! Here!

0:57:21 > 0:57:24There you are. Merry Christmas.

0:57:24 > 0:57:25Rock'em sock 'em robots!

0:57:25 > 0:57:27Mint condition! This is incredible!

0:57:27 > 0:57:29Holly Hobby oven!

0:57:29 > 0:57:31EXHALES SHARPLY

0:57:34 > 0:57:36Come on up and get the rest of your presents.

0:57:36 > 0:57:38SPEAKING EXCITEDLY

0:57:38 > 0:57:40- Marie? - Here.

0:57:40 > 0:57:41There she is. Uh, Pete?

0:57:41 > 0:57:43- Here! - Uh, Jerry?

0:57:43 > 0:57:45- Corey. Corey? - Here!

0:57:45 > 0:57:47BELL DINGS

0:57:50 > 0:57:52MUSIC: "Run Rudolph Run" by Chuck Berry

0:57:56 > 0:57:57# Out of all the reindeers

0:57:57 > 0:58:00# You know you're the mastermind

0:58:01 > 0:58:04# Run, run, Rudolph

0:58:04 > 0:58:06# Randolph ain't too far behind

0:58:07 > 0:58:09# Run, run, Rudolph

0:58:09 > 0:58:11# Santa's got to make it to town... #

0:58:11 > 0:58:13ALL SHOUT

0:58:13 > 0:58:15# Santa, make him hurry

0:58:15 > 0:58:18# Tell him he can take the freeway down... #

0:58:18 > 0:58:19Got you again!

0:58:19 > 0:58:21# Run, run, Rudolph

0:58:21 > 0:58:25# Cos I'm reelin' like a merry-go-round

0:58:25 > 0:58:28# Said Santa to a boy child... #

0:58:28 > 0:58:30This is great. HE LAUGHS

0:58:32 > 0:58:35Hey, party animal. You want to play?

0:58:35 > 0:58:36I can't figure it out.

0:58:36 > 0:58:37It's tick tack toe with beanbags.

0:58:37 > 0:58:39No, I mean the secret Santa thing.

0:58:39 > 0:58:43Someone tracked down and bought all those antique toys.

0:58:43 > 0:58:45Probably someone who knows his way around eBay.

0:58:45 > 0:58:46- Yeah. - Yep.

0:58:46 > 0:58:49It was you. I know it was you.

0:58:49 > 0:58:51I just can't figure out how did you do it.

0:58:51 > 0:58:55You know, sometimes you don't need to know all the answers.

0:58:55 > 0:58:56Speaking of which,

0:58:56 > 0:58:59even the principal needs a Christmas gift.

0:58:59 > 0:59:01Merry Christmas.

0:59:01 > 0:59:03Come on, open it. Rip it open.

0:59:03 > 0:59:06Come on. We're not gonna save the paper.

0:59:28 > 0:59:29It's a baby doll.

0:59:36 > 0:59:38Come here.

0:59:39 > 0:59:41- Did you call the office? - No.

0:59:41 > 0:59:42Did they call you?

0:59:42 > 0:59:43It's not like that.

0:59:43 > 0:59:45Did you investigate us? LAUGHS

0:59:45 > 0:59:47I wouldn't do that, no.

0:59:47 > 0:59:50I told you about baby doll an hour ago.

0:59:50 > 0:59:53And did you send someone to...?

0:59:53 > 0:59:54- No. - No.

0:59:54 > 0:59:59Well, I don't know how you did it.

0:59:59 > 1:00:01It's like some kind of magic.

1:00:01 > 1:00:04Yeah, sort of like some kind of magic.

1:00:04 > 1:00:09And pretty much the last that I have.

1:00:09 > 1:00:11What? What? You know what?

1:00:11 > 1:00:14You know what? I don't want to know.

1:00:14 > 1:00:18What you did in there tonight, for everyone, was wonderful.

1:00:18 > 1:00:19Thank you.

1:00:24 > 1:00:26I'm sorry.

1:00:26 > 1:00:29I shouldn't have done that.

1:00:30 > 1:00:32Is that OK?

1:00:32 > 1:00:34Yeah.

1:00:35 > 1:00:39I got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

1:00:39 > 1:00:42I'm, er...

1:00:42 > 1:00:44I'm not...

1:00:44 > 1:00:46real good at this.

1:00:46 > 1:00:49Um...

1:01:04 > 1:01:06Where did that come from?

1:01:06 > 1:01:07I don't know.

1:01:19 > 1:01:20Hi!

1:01:20 > 1:01:24Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho!

1:01:24 > 1:01:26INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS BELLS CHIMING

1:01:29 > 1:01:30BELL DINGS

1:01:30 > 1:01:33- Can I have your attention? QUACKING

1:01:33 > 1:01:36Stop the work, please, everybody. Stop the work.

1:01:36 > 1:01:38Merry Christmas! QUACKING

1:01:38 > 1:01:41That's nice. I have a little announcement to make.

1:01:41 > 1:01:44From this moment forward, we're not gonna make any more toys.

1:01:44 > 1:01:46ALL SPEAKING

1:01:46 > 1:01:49The children don't deserve these presents.

1:01:49 > 1:01:51They're running rampant with naughtiness.

1:01:51 > 1:01:54So, for this Christmas, we're gonna give those selfish kids

1:01:54 > 1:01:58exactly what they deserve.

1:01:58 > 1:02:02A beautiful, high-quality, yet low-sulphur variety of coal.

1:02:02 > 1:02:04ALL SPEAKING

1:02:05 > 1:02:06Quiet!

1:02:08 > 1:02:12We have to focus, all of us, on the goals ahead.

1:02:12 > 1:02:16And just to make sure that that happens -

1:02:16 > 1:02:17thank you, sweetie.

1:02:17 > 1:02:19CHUCKLES

1:02:19 > 1:02:22I-I hate to blow my own horn...

1:02:22 > 1:02:24HONKS

1:02:27 > 1:02:29ALL GASP

1:02:32 > 1:02:33Oh!

1:02:33 > 1:02:34ELVES SCREAMING

1:02:34 > 1:02:37Stay where you are. Don't be afraid.

1:02:41 > 1:02:43Back. Back, back, back.

1:02:43 > 1:02:46I was up late. Couldn't sleep.

1:02:46 > 1:02:48Milk couldn't do it, cocoa was a little sweet,

1:02:48 > 1:02:51so I decided to make an army of toy soldiers.

1:02:52 > 1:02:55They don't have a good sense of humour like me.

1:02:56 > 1:02:59I would do what they ask you,

1:02:59 > 1:03:02which is what I'm going to tell you!

1:03:02 > 1:03:05Don't listen to him! This guy's not Santa!

1:03:05 > 1:03:06ALL: Not Santa?!

1:03:06 > 1:03:08< He's a toy.

1:03:08 > 1:03:11He has a rubber face and a plastic tushy.

1:03:11 > 1:03:12SQUEAKS

1:03:12 > 1:03:14Oh!

1:03:14 > 1:03:15Trust me.

1:03:15 > 1:03:17Don't let him ruin Christmas!

1:03:17 > 1:03:21Thank you for those kind words, Bernard.

1:03:21 > 1:03:23Well, now that we all have an understanding -

1:03:23 > 1:03:28have a...a joyous and merry Christmas.

1:03:31 > 1:03:33Merry Christmas!

1:03:36 > 1:03:37ELVES SCREAMING

1:03:41 > 1:03:43OK, ready? Go!

1:03:43 > 1:03:46This is what I call community service.

1:03:46 > 1:03:47Here she comes.

1:03:47 > 1:03:49DOOR OPENS

1:03:49 > 1:03:53SCOTT: Hey! Attention, hooligans behind that snowbank.

1:03:53 > 1:03:55You have snowballed the wrong house.

1:03:55 > 1:03:57I want you to drop the snowballs,

1:03:57 > 1:03:59kick them away from the snowsuits,

1:03:59 > 1:04:01and keep the mittens where I can see them.

1:04:01 > 1:04:04Your dad is hanging out with Principal Newman?

1:04:04 > 1:04:05- Is he dating her? - No.

1:04:05 > 1:04:08Go to your homes... >

1:04:08 > 1:04:10and help the ones you love. GIGGLING

1:04:10 > 1:04:12And, er, merry Christmas.

1:04:12 > 1:04:14That is really gross, man.

1:04:14 > 1:04:16Shut up.

1:04:18 > 1:04:20SIGHS

1:04:28 > 1:04:30Carol, there are some things about me you should know.

1:04:30 > 1:04:32Some personal things.

1:04:32 > 1:04:33We don't need to rush things.

1:04:33 > 1:04:36I think you need to know these things.

1:04:36 > 1:04:38OK.

1:04:38 > 1:04:42Um... Do - um...

1:04:42 > 1:04:45Remember the mistletoe, how it just showed up?

1:04:45 > 1:04:46Yes.

1:04:46 > 1:04:49And the sleigh, how magical that was?

1:04:49 > 1:04:52Secret Santa Claus? That was me.

1:04:52 > 1:04:54Yeah.

1:04:56 > 1:04:58I'm not this size much.

1:04:58 > 1:05:00I'm usually much bigger than this.

1:05:00 > 1:05:01So am I sometimes.

1:05:01 > 1:05:04I have a very big, white beard that's beautiful.

1:05:04 > 1:05:05I don't.

1:05:05 > 1:05:07I work a long way from my home.

1:05:07 > 1:05:09When I get home, I sleep for long periods of time.

1:05:09 > 1:05:11See? OK. It's not so bad so far.

1:05:11 > 1:05:15You work far away from home, and you sleep a lot.

1:05:15 > 1:05:18You've never been to prison and don't wear socks with sandals.

1:05:18 > 1:05:20Well...

1:05:21 > 1:05:23I'm Santa Claus.

1:05:23 > 1:05:25What?

1:05:25 > 1:05:28The suit. The red suit's real.

1:05:28 > 1:05:30The North Pole is a place. There are elves.

1:05:30 > 1:05:33Elves make the toys, and they're beautiful.

1:05:33 > 1:05:35And it's all real. It exists. I exist.

1:05:35 > 1:05:36- It's magical, Carol. - Cut it out.

1:05:36 > 1:05:38I'm telling you the truth.

1:05:38 > 1:05:41I told you something personal from my childhood,

1:05:41 > 1:05:44and you're making a joke out of it. And it hurts.

1:05:44 > 1:05:47I know how hard this is to believe,

1:05:47 > 1:05:49but you've got to connect the dots.

1:05:49 > 1:05:53Think about all of the things that have happened.

1:05:53 > 1:05:54You felt something for me,

1:05:54 > 1:05:58and you're acting like a mental patient because you're scared.

1:05:58 > 1:05:59I'm not scared.

1:05:59 > 1:06:02I deliver gifts in a sleigh pulled by reindeer.

1:06:02 > 1:06:04I go down chimneys with burning logs,

1:06:04 > 1:06:07and I still deliver gifts. I'm not scared.

1:06:07 > 1:06:10If you're trying to push me away, it's working.

1:06:10 > 1:06:12Don't make me leave.

1:06:12 > 1:06:13Please.

1:06:23 > 1:06:25DOOR LOCKS

1:06:40 > 1:06:43- How could you pick her? - I didn't pick her.

1:06:43 > 1:06:44- You don't care anymore!

1:06:44 > 1:06:46I care more about you than anybody,

1:06:46 > 1:06:47but it's a two-way street.

1:06:47 > 1:06:50What am I supposed to do if you won't confide in me?

1:06:50 > 1:06:52All right, here it is.

1:06:52 > 1:06:53What? Talk to me.

1:06:53 > 1:06:55I don't live a normal life.

1:06:55 > 1:06:58- You live a great life... - Just listen to me.

1:06:58 > 1:07:00My friends get to go around saying,

1:07:00 > 1:07:03"My dad's a plumber, my dad's a pilot, my dad's a dentist."

1:07:03 > 1:07:04Well, you know what?

1:07:04 > 1:07:06My dad is the best thing of all,

1:07:06 > 1:07:09and I can't tell anyone about it.

1:07:09 > 1:07:11You have no idea how hard that is

1:07:11 > 1:07:14walking around with that secret for all these years.

1:07:14 > 1:07:17And now you're going out with Principal Newman,

1:07:17 > 1:07:19and you don't even tell me about it?

1:07:19 > 1:07:22My whole life has become about secrets, and I hate it!

1:07:24 > 1:07:27I'm sorry.

1:07:28 > 1:07:30Forget about Principal Newman, all right?

1:07:30 > 1:07:33And forget about Santa. I'm done.

1:07:34 > 1:07:37HE SIGHS My time's up.

1:07:37 > 1:07:41Who cares anymore? SNIFFLES

1:07:45 > 1:07:47Hi, Charlie.

1:07:47 > 1:07:48Hi, Lucy.

1:07:48 > 1:07:50What are you doing?

1:07:50 > 1:07:51Just shovelling.

1:07:51 > 1:07:55Oh. Charlie, is Uncle Scott Santa Claus?

1:07:55 > 1:07:58No, of course not. Why would you think that?

1:07:58 > 1:08:02I don't know. How come Uncle Scott was so sad today?

1:08:02 > 1:08:04What makes you think he was sad?

1:08:04 > 1:08:07I asked him to stick a straw in his nose

1:08:07 > 1:08:09and blow bubbles in his milk, and he said no.

1:08:09 > 1:08:11Whatever.

1:08:11 > 1:08:13- Can you talk to him? - I don't think so, Lucy.

1:08:13 > 1:08:15- Did you have a fight? - Sort of.

1:08:15 > 1:08:17- Are you gonna make up? - I don't know!

1:08:17 > 1:08:19Are you gonna be mad forever?

1:08:19 > 1:08:20- Lucy! - What?

1:08:20 > 1:08:22These are really hard questions.

1:08:22 > 1:08:24No, they're not. They're easy.

1:08:24 > 1:08:27And you can't be mad at him forever, Charlie.

1:08:27 > 1:08:29He's your daddy and you love him.

1:08:35 > 1:08:37SIGHS

1:08:37 > 1:08:39TOY SANTA: # Dashing through the snow

1:08:39 > 1:08:41# In a strip-mining machine

1:08:41 > 1:08:44# Flatten the hills we go... #

1:08:44 > 1:08:45Come on.

1:08:45 > 1:08:49Put a smile on that face, little troll.

1:08:49 > 1:08:51Hey, I got a little joke just to cheer you up.

1:08:51 > 1:08:53Knock, knock.

1:08:53 > 1:08:54Who's there?

1:08:54 > 1:08:55CHUCKLES

1:08:55 > 1:08:57- Aren'tcha. - Aren'tcha who?

1:08:57 > 1:09:00Aren't you supposed to get back to work?!

1:09:00 > 1:09:03All of you, you little idiots! Back to work!

1:09:03 > 1:09:06Got any twos?

1:09:06 > 1:09:09Hmm.

1:09:09 > 1:09:10Go fish.

1:09:12 > 1:09:14EXPLOSION CURTIS: Whoa! Whoa!

1:09:14 > 1:09:16Whoa!

1:09:16 > 1:09:17Who-o-o-a!

1:09:17 > 1:09:18CLANG

1:09:18 > 1:09:21What was that?

1:09:21 > 1:09:23I don't know.

1:09:23 > 1:09:26I'm gonna get more hot chocolate. Do you want some?

1:09:26 > 1:09:27- Mm-hmm. - OK.

1:09:27 > 1:09:29DOORBELL RINGS

1:09:29 > 1:09:32- Would you get that, honey? - Yeah, sure.

1:09:34 > 1:09:37Is...Scott here?

1:09:37 > 1:09:38Who are you?

1:09:38 > 1:09:42Uh...Curtis, a friend from Buffalo.

1:09:42 > 1:09:44Are you an elf?

1:09:44 > 1:09:46LAUGHING: Of course not.

1:09:46 > 1:09:48Why would you ask such a silly question?

1:09:48 > 1:09:50How come you have pointy ears?

1:09:50 > 1:09:55It's because I never ate my green vegetables.

1:09:55 > 1:09:58Do you eat your green vegetables?

1:10:01 > 1:10:04Uncle Scott!

1:10:04 > 1:10:07Yeah, I'm right here. What's wrong?

1:10:07 > 1:10:09Oh, Curtis. What are you doing here?

1:10:09 > 1:10:12There's a little trouble at the...plant.

1:10:12 > 1:10:14It's OK. Curtis is a very old friend of mine.

1:10:14 > 1:10:17We have a large firm. We work together in, er...

1:10:17 > 1:10:20- Buffalo. - Buffalo?

1:10:20 > 1:10:22We work together in Buffalo.

1:10:22 > 1:10:24So we're gonna talk about some business.

1:10:24 > 1:10:25What business?

1:10:25 > 1:10:28I say it's business that's none of your business.

1:10:28 > 1:10:31Soon I'm gonna be seven, and then I can know things.

1:10:31 > 1:10:32Good night, Curtis.

1:10:32 > 1:10:34- Good night, Lucy. - Good night, Lucy.

1:10:34 > 1:10:35What's up?

1:10:35 > 1:10:38The toy Santa's completely out of control.

1:10:38 > 1:10:41He's locked up the elves, shut down the workshop,

1:10:41 > 1:10:44and he's gonna give the whole world coal!

1:10:44 > 1:10:45How come Bernard didn't tell me?

1:10:45 > 1:10:47- He's under house arrest. - Bernard?

1:10:47 > 1:10:50You've got to fly back with me to save Christmas!

1:10:50 > 1:10:52I can't. I have no magic left. Look.

1:10:52 > 1:10:55GROANS I thought you had Comet.

1:10:55 > 1:10:57Yeah, we...

1:10:58 > 1:11:01- Aha! - Yes! Come on.

1:11:02 > 1:11:04Hey, Comet! We just...

1:11:05 > 1:11:07COMET GROANS

1:11:07 > 1:11:09Comet?

1:11:09 > 1:11:10Comet.

1:11:13 > 1:11:15Look at me. Look at me!

1:11:15 > 1:11:17Comet!

1:11:19 > 1:11:21What are you doing?

1:11:21 > 1:11:23You're not supposed to eat sugar, it's bad for you.

1:11:23 > 1:11:25HE GRUNTS

1:11:25 > 1:11:27What do you mean you didn't eat this?

1:11:27 > 1:11:29HE GRUNTS

1:11:29 > 1:11:30Who did?

1:11:30 > 1:11:32GRUNTING A squirrel?

1:11:34 > 1:11:37Well, get this, you've gotta fly both of us back to the North Pole.

1:11:37 > 1:11:38GRUNTING

1:11:38 > 1:11:40Uh-huh, tonight.

1:11:40 > 1:11:41LOW GROAN

1:11:41 > 1:11:45I'll help you up. All right? Ready? You've got to help me a bit here.

1:11:45 > 1:11:48HE STRAINS

1:11:50 > 1:11:52Ah! Good, good.

1:11:52 > 1:11:54OK, we almost got it.

1:11:54 > 1:11:56That's OK, that's OK.

1:11:58 > 1:12:01Now, help me. Can you move anything?

1:12:03 > 1:12:06COMET STRAINS

1:12:08 > 1:12:09Fire the hole! Get away.

1:12:10 > 1:12:12COMET BREAKS WIND LOUDLY

1:12:14 > 1:12:17Whoa! Eat some roughage, will you?

1:12:18 > 1:12:23- What about the jetpack? - It kinda burned up on re-entry.

1:12:25 > 1:12:27What am I supposed to do?

1:12:27 > 1:12:29Grow wings?

1:12:31 > 1:12:36I hope he doesn't have too many stops to make tonight.

1:12:36 > 1:12:38You and me both, pal.

1:12:38 > 1:12:40OK. Let's just get it over with.

1:12:40 > 1:12:42Uh, OK.

1:12:42 > 1:12:45One...two...

1:12:46 > 1:12:48..three!

1:12:48 > 1:12:50Uhh! THUD

1:12:50 > 1:12:52What's going on down there?

1:12:52 > 1:12:53Are you sure about this?

1:12:53 > 1:12:55What, the old toaster trick?

1:12:55 > 1:12:59When we were kids, we used to do this to get extra cash.

1:12:59 > 1:13:00- Works every time. - I can't watch this.

1:13:01 > 1:13:02You ready, buddy?

1:13:02 > 1:13:04All right. Let her rip.

1:13:04 > 1:13:06One...

1:13:06 > 1:13:08- two... - two...

1:13:08 > 1:13:09- three! - Ooh!

1:13:09 > 1:13:12Whoa! Oh! Ow!

1:13:12 > 1:13:13Oh! Ooh!

1:13:13 > 1:13:14Uh!

1:13:14 > 1:13:17Oh, Scott!

1:13:17 > 1:13:18- Scott... - Uh!

1:13:18 > 1:13:20- Scott, are you all right? - Oh!

1:13:20 > 1:13:22- Mom? > - Yes?

1:13:22 > 1:13:25I lost another tooth. Should I put it under my pillow?

1:13:25 > 1:13:26Yes!

1:13:32 > 1:13:33WIND RUSHING

1:13:44 > 1:13:45COIN CLINKS

1:13:55 > 1:13:57Bicuspids!

1:13:57 > 1:13:59- I... - Shh!

1:13:59 > 1:14:01Come this way. Come on, come on.

1:14:01 > 1:14:04Curtis, get the door. It's a tooth fairy ambush.

1:14:04 > 1:14:06DOOR HINGES CREAKING

1:14:06 > 1:14:08DOOR CLOSES

1:14:08 > 1:14:11What do you want? I only carry 20 in change.

1:14:11 > 1:14:13Shh! Tooth fairy, it's me - Santa.

1:14:13 > 1:14:16I've lost the weight and the beard, but it's me.

1:14:16 > 1:14:19I know Santa. Santa is a friend. And you, sir, are no Santa.

1:14:19 > 1:14:21I am too Santa. How did I know I could capture you

1:14:21 > 1:14:23by holding on to your wings?

1:14:23 > 1:14:27You wanted to change your name to Captain Floss or Plaque Man,

1:14:27 > 1:14:28or, as I recall, Roy.

1:14:28 > 1:14:31And it was Santa's idea to call you The Molinator.

1:14:31 > 1:14:33Oh.

1:14:33 > 1:14:35- Who's the kid? - That's Curtis.

1:14:35 > 1:14:37He's an elf. Look.

1:14:37 > 1:14:39Ow.

1:14:39 > 1:14:40Santa!

1:14:40 > 1:14:42LAUGHS

1:14:42 > 1:14:46The Molinator at your service.

1:14:46 > 1:14:47CURTIS: A little altitude, please!

1:14:47 > 1:14:48What?

1:14:48 > 1:14:51Could you possibly fly a little higher?

1:14:51 > 1:14:52Ooh! CLANG

1:14:52 > 1:14:53What?! THUD

1:14:53 > 1:14:56Never mind! CAR ALARM BLARING

1:15:03 > 1:15:05Principal Newman?

1:15:05 > 1:15:07What is it, Charlie?

1:15:07 > 1:15:11You keep asking me if there's something bothering me.

1:15:11 > 1:15:14Well, there is.

1:15:14 > 1:15:17I...I couldn't talk about it before,

1:15:17 > 1:15:20but...I want to talk about it now.

1:15:20 > 1:15:23OK. Go ahead.

1:15:23 > 1:15:25My dad is Santa.

1:15:25 > 1:15:27Oh, please, Charlie. Not you, too.

1:15:27 > 1:15:29Hold on.

1:15:29 > 1:15:32If you have no feelings for my dad, then fine.

1:15:32 > 1:15:34But if the only reason for not being with him

1:15:34 > 1:15:36is you don't believe in him,

1:15:36 > 1:15:38then you're making a big mistake.

1:15:38 > 1:15:40Oh, Charlie.

1:15:40 > 1:15:41Here.

1:15:43 > 1:15:45I want you to take this.

1:15:45 > 1:15:47Look into this

1:15:47 > 1:15:50and try to remember what it was like when you were little

1:15:50 > 1:15:52and you still believed in Christmas.

1:16:14 > 1:16:17Seeing isn't believing.

1:16:17 > 1:16:18Believing is seeing.

1:16:20 > 1:16:23You haven't seen anything yet.

1:16:27 > 1:16:28- Curtis? - What?!

1:16:28 > 1:16:31What do I do? Slow down, slow down, slow down.

1:16:31 > 1:16:34OK, OK. Piece of cake. Attaboy. There you go.

1:16:34 > 1:16:36GRUNTING Why can't you fly higher?

1:16:36 > 1:16:37GRUNTS

1:16:37 > 1:16:40I want to thank you. I'll never forget this.

1:16:40 > 1:16:42I wish I could do more, but I got to go.

1:16:42 > 1:16:44Denver just started a peewee hockey league.

1:16:44 > 1:16:45Before you go, I want you to know

1:16:45 > 1:16:48nobody was braver than you were today.

1:16:48 > 1:16:50You should be proud of your wings.

1:16:52 > 1:16:53They're not too girly?

1:16:53 > 1:16:54Not on you.

1:16:54 > 1:16:56LAUGHING

1:17:00 > 1:17:02LAUGHS

1:17:03 > 1:17:06Wouldn't it be easier to go through the workshop?

1:17:06 > 1:17:09That way, Santa and his soldiers would be expecting us.

1:17:09 > 1:17:13Sound military strategy involves taking your enemy by surprise.

1:17:13 > 1:17:14It's good strategy.

1:17:15 > 1:17:19Sometimes being a despot is a tough business.

1:17:19 > 1:17:20LAUGHS

1:17:20 > 1:17:21Come on.

1:17:21 > 1:17:24HUMMING

1:17:24 > 1:17:26Here we are.

1:17:26 > 1:17:28It's Scott, isn't it?

1:17:28 > 1:17:30Yeah. What are you supposed to be?

1:17:30 > 1:17:34A better, stronger version of what you used to be.

1:17:34 > 1:17:37With a flawless complexion, I might add.

1:17:37 > 1:17:39Look, it just glistens.

1:17:39 > 1:17:41Listen to me - I'm back now, so untie us.

1:17:41 > 1:17:44Let the elves go, and give me back the coat.

1:17:44 > 1:17:47Oh, I...er...

1:17:47 > 1:17:49MUMBLING

1:17:49 > 1:17:50Uh, no can do!

1:17:50 > 1:17:52It's Christmas Eve! I have coal to deliver!

1:17:52 > 1:17:55I don't want those naughty kids to suffer.

1:17:55 > 1:17:58Boys! One, two, three!

1:17:58 > 1:18:01And...one, two - try to keep up.

1:18:01 > 1:18:03Let's go! Move it on!

1:18:03 > 1:18:04Try to -

1:18:04 > 1:18:06This is just too tight.

1:18:06 > 1:18:09SIGHS This is all my fault.

1:18:09 > 1:18:12I thought I could create another Santa.

1:18:12 > 1:18:16My elfin pride blinded me to all reason.

1:18:16 > 1:18:18There's only one Santa.

1:18:18 > 1:18:21Well, I've done a pretty rotten job.

1:18:21 > 1:18:23I didn't check the list twice.

1:18:23 > 1:18:27My kid thinks I betrayed him.

1:18:27 > 1:18:29I hurt the woman I love.

1:18:29 > 1:18:32I ruined Christmas.

1:18:33 > 1:18:35SIGHS

1:18:39 > 1:18:43Charlie! Charlie, how'd you get up here?

1:18:45 > 1:18:47Get us out of this, come on.

1:18:48 > 1:18:49Scott!

1:18:49 > 1:18:51I got to fly in with the tooth fairy.

1:18:51 > 1:18:53- Yeah. - Yeah.

1:18:53 > 1:18:54- Are you OK? - Yeah.

1:18:54 > 1:18:58Brush between meals and don't forget the floss.

1:18:58 > 1:19:00And, if anybody cares, I'm exhausted.

1:19:00 > 1:19:04And she has a beautiful smile.

1:19:04 > 1:19:06Thank you for everything, my friend.

1:19:06 > 1:19:08No, thank you.

1:19:08 > 1:19:11I am... The Molinator!

1:19:11 > 1:19:13LAUGHING

1:19:14 > 1:19:16Whoo!

1:19:16 > 1:19:18I need some help. Come on!

1:19:18 > 1:19:20CHILDREN SHOUTING

1:19:33 > 1:19:34Hyah!

1:19:45 > 1:19:47WHISTLES

1:19:47 > 1:19:49GASPS

1:19:49 > 1:19:50INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS

1:19:50 > 1:19:52What are you doing?

1:19:52 > 1:19:53You got to save Christmas.

1:19:53 > 1:19:55How am I supposed to save...?

1:19:55 > 1:19:56IMITATING FANFARE

1:19:56 > 1:19:58HOOVES SCREECHING AND CLATTERING

1:19:58 > 1:20:01- No, no, no, no. - Don't worry.

1:20:01 > 1:20:02GRUNTS

1:20:02 > 1:20:05ALL: Whoa!

1:20:05 > 1:20:08Slow down. Whoa. Whoa, whoa.

1:20:08 > 1:20:09Stay, stay. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1:20:09 > 1:20:11Aaaaaahhhhhh!

1:20:11 > 1:20:12Oh!

1:20:12 > 1:20:14ALL: Ooh!

1:20:14 > 1:20:16GRUNTING: Oh, Chet did a no-no.

1:20:16 > 1:20:19Oh. Ouch. Ow! Oh! Oh!

1:20:19 > 1:20:20Oh! Oh!

1:20:20 > 1:20:21Thanks.

1:20:21 > 1:20:23Excuse me, Porkchop.

1:20:23 > 1:20:26OK, Chet, this is it. You ready to rock'n'roll?

1:20:26 > 1:20:27Chet?

1:20:27 > 1:20:29Yeah. He's still in training.

1:20:29 > 1:20:31How much flight time has he had?

1:20:31 > 1:20:33About a minute and a half.

1:20:33 > 1:20:35Hey, but he's had a lot of crash time.

1:20:35 > 1:20:38- Curtis. - He's just a baby.

1:20:38 > 1:20:43All right. Let's see what this baby can do, all right?

1:20:43 > 1:20:44I'm ready to go, buddy.

1:20:44 > 1:20:46You know what we got to do.

1:20:46 > 1:20:48Hyah!

1:20:48 > 1:20:49GRUNTING

1:20:49 > 1:20:51CROWD CHEERING

1:20:51 > 1:20:54Oh, oh, oh, oh! Chet, Chet!

1:20:54 > 1:20:55CHET GRUNT AND GIGGLES

1:20:55 > 1:20:59Chet, you got to focus, Chet.

1:20:59 > 1:21:02CHEERING CONTINUES

1:21:02 > 1:21:05OK! OK, everybody! Outside now!

1:21:05 > 1:21:07ALL SHOUTING

1:21:07 > 1:21:10Climb up there, boys. Let's go!

1:21:10 > 1:21:11LAUGHS

1:21:13 > 1:21:14Chet, Chet! Whoa, whoa!

1:21:14 > 1:21:16Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

1:21:16 > 1:21:18SHOUTING CONTINUES

1:21:26 > 1:21:28SHOUTING STOPS

1:21:30 > 1:21:33Snowballs on three!

1:21:33 > 1:21:34One...

1:21:36 > 1:21:39..two...

1:21:43 > 1:21:45..three!

1:21:45 > 1:21:47SHOUTING

1:21:47 > 1:21:48METAL CLANKING

1:21:59 > 1:22:01SHOUTING STOPS

1:22:03 > 1:22:05OK, elves.

1:22:05 > 1:22:07Let's get 'em!

1:22:07 > 1:22:08ALL SHOUTING

1:22:13 > 1:22:14N-n-not so far!

1:22:14 > 1:22:16Whoa, whoa, whoa, Chet!

1:22:16 > 1:22:17Whoo!

1:22:17 > 1:22:19Back for more action, eh, scooter?

1:22:19 > 1:22:20Chet! Chet!

1:22:20 > 1:22:21LAUGHS

1:22:21 > 1:22:23CHET: I'm faster than you!

1:22:23 > 1:22:25Cut the chitchat, Chet!

1:22:25 > 1:22:28Why is this such a problem? Come on!

1:22:28 > 1:22:30Where do you think you're going, Scott?

1:22:30 > 1:22:31Go, go!

1:22:31 > 1:22:32Hyah, boys! Come on!

1:22:32 > 1:22:34Hi, guys! CHET GIGGLES

1:22:34 > 1:22:35Faster!

1:22:36 > 1:22:39The lead, the lead. The one in the front, Chet.

1:22:39 > 1:22:41Leave my reindeer alone!

1:22:41 > 1:22:44Go, go! REINDEER BREAKS WIND

1:22:44 > 1:22:47Come on! We got to get 'em before they get out the hole.

1:22:47 > 1:22:49Stay away from my lead reindeer.

1:22:49 > 1:22:51Aah!

1:22:51 > 1:22:52IMITATING FANFARE

1:22:52 > 1:22:53Whoo!

1:22:53 > 1:22:56Oh! And he's an action hero(!)

1:22:56 > 1:22:58LAUGHS: Hyah!

1:23:07 > 1:23:09SHOUTING

1:23:13 > 1:23:14BOING!

1:23:14 > 1:23:16BOING!

1:23:16 > 1:23:18BOING!

1:23:18 > 1:23:21What the heck are you doing up there?

1:23:21 > 1:23:23I can't see where I'm driving.

1:23:23 > 1:23:25Uhhh! Oh!

1:23:25 > 1:23:27You are a sad, strange little man.

1:23:27 > 1:23:29Whoa!

1:23:31 > 1:23:33You're gonna fall...I hope.

1:23:33 > 1:23:34SCOTT GROANS TOY SANTA LAUGHS

1:23:34 > 1:23:37That's a good way to lose an eye.

1:23:37 > 1:23:38LAUGHS

1:23:38 > 1:23:40Oh! Oh! Oh!

1:23:40 > 1:23:41Look out!

1:23:41 > 1:23:42You're scaring me!

1:23:49 > 1:23:50Can I help you?

1:23:50 > 1:23:53Honey, I'm home!

1:23:53 > 1:23:55Whoa! Oh! Oh!

1:23:55 > 1:23:58TOY SANTA LAUGHS

1:23:58 > 1:24:00Loser!

1:24:00 > 1:24:01Aah!

1:24:01 > 1:24:02No!

1:24:04 > 1:24:05Oh!

1:24:05 > 1:24:07SCOTT: Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!

1:24:07 > 1:24:09SHOUTING

1:24:19 > 1:24:22LAUGHTER

1:24:25 > 1:24:29Aaaaahhhhh!

1:24:29 > 1:24:30Aaaaaahhhhhh!

1:24:30 > 1:24:31CABLE WHIRRING

1:24:36 > 1:24:38SHOUTING CONTINUES

1:24:47 > 1:24:49LAUGHING

1:24:50 > 1:24:52Aah! Hey! I'm supposed to wear this coat.

1:24:52 > 1:24:54How 'bout a little elbow for you?

1:24:54 > 1:24:55Ow!

1:24:55 > 1:24:57That's got to feel good.

1:24:57 > 1:24:59You want the shoe, take it off.

1:24:59 > 1:25:00Come on!

1:25:00 > 1:25:03MUTTERING

1:25:03 > 1:25:04Wait a minute!

1:25:05 > 1:25:07- Huh?! - Huh?!

1:25:07 > 1:25:10What are you gonna do now, smarty-pants?

1:25:11 > 1:25:14SCOTT: Watch out! Uh, er, the building! Aah! Aah!

1:25:14 > 1:25:17TOY SANTA: Oh, well. The town will break the fall.

1:25:17 > 1:25:19SHOUTING

1:25:20 > 1:25:22Oh! Aah! Aah!

1:25:22 > 1:25:23Look out! Oh!

1:25:23 > 1:25:24BOING! BOING!

1:25:26 > 1:25:28Try and stop me!

1:25:31 > 1:25:34Whoa! Ow! Ow! Uh!

1:25:34 > 1:25:37SHOUTING Get off of me!

1:25:37 > 1:25:39Now, remember, rules are very important.

1:25:39 > 1:25:41I want hot chocolate.

1:25:41 > 1:25:43SCOTT: Hey, guys, back up.

1:25:43 > 1:25:45I've got a very special place for him.

1:25:45 > 1:25:47TOY SANTA: Let me out of here! You kids!

1:25:47 > 1:25:49Wait a minute. Something's shocking me.

1:25:49 > 1:25:52- Dad, you were great. - You were pretty good, too.

1:25:52 > 1:25:54- Where's Carol? - Scott! >

1:25:54 > 1:25:57- Carol, are you all right? - Where are you going?

1:25:57 > 1:26:00It's Christmastime. I got to deliver gifts.

1:26:00 > 1:26:02Aren't you forgetting something?

1:26:02 > 1:26:03- No. - You got to get married.

1:26:03 > 1:26:05Excuse me?

1:26:08 > 1:26:10Carol, I, er...

1:26:10 > 1:26:15I cannot continue being Santa... unless I find a Mrs Claus.

1:26:15 > 1:26:17INHALES SHARPLY Oh.

1:26:17 > 1:26:20So that's what the whole noodles-and-pie thing -

1:26:20 > 1:26:22you just needed to find a wife.

1:26:22 > 1:26:24- No. - No?

1:26:24 > 1:26:26Yes.

1:26:26 > 1:26:28Yes?

1:26:28 > 1:26:30Yes, I was looking for a wife.

1:26:30 > 1:26:34No, I didn't figure on falling...in love.

1:26:37 > 1:26:39You love me?

1:26:41 > 1:26:44This is all happening so fast.

1:26:44 > 1:26:46Well, there's no pressure.

1:26:46 > 1:26:47INHALES DEEPLY Good.

1:26:47 > 1:26:51I mean, if I don't get married, I just won't deliver the gifts.

1:26:51 > 1:26:55And...children everywhere will stop believing.

1:26:55 > 1:26:57The elves will lose their jobs,

1:26:57 > 1:27:00The North Pole will disappear, and Christmas will be gone.

1:27:04 > 1:27:06(Get down on one knee.)

1:27:06 > 1:27:08(Do it. Now!)

1:27:11 > 1:27:13Say, "Carol."

1:27:15 > 1:27:16Carol.

1:27:16 > 1:27:18Uh...yeah?

1:27:18 > 1:27:23(You say this is happening all so fast...)

1:27:23 > 1:27:25You say this is happening all so fast...

1:27:25 > 1:27:29(But you've known me your whole life.)

1:27:29 > 1:27:31But you've known me your whole life.

1:27:31 > 1:27:33(When you were little and alone...)

1:27:33 > 1:27:35When you were little and alone...

1:27:35 > 1:27:38- Santa... - Santa... I can take it from here.

1:27:38 > 1:27:40Santa was always there for you.

1:27:40 > 1:27:43And I will be there for you as long as you believe in me.

1:27:43 > 1:27:45I know I'm asking you to leave everything at home,

1:27:45 > 1:27:48but I can guarantee you that this is worth it.

1:27:48 > 1:27:50This place...

1:27:50 > 1:27:56This place is all about magic and love and wonder...

1:27:56 > 1:28:00And, occasionally, a thin-crust pizza

1:28:00 > 1:28:04and a movie on a long winter night.

1:28:04 > 1:28:05Is there a school here?

1:28:08 > 1:28:09We have one.

1:28:09 > 1:28:12A school - the elves - we need a new principal.

1:28:12 > 1:28:14cos as of late,

1:28:14 > 1:28:17some of the elves have been acting a bit impish.

1:28:21 > 1:28:23Carol...

1:28:25 > 1:28:28- I love you. - You do?

1:28:28 > 1:28:30Would you be my wife?

1:28:32 > 1:28:33(I will.)

1:28:34 > 1:28:36(Thank you. I've got it from here.)

1:28:41 > 1:28:43I will.

1:28:48 > 1:28:51By the powers vested in me, by me...

1:28:53 > 1:28:55..I now pronounce you, Santa...

1:28:55 > 1:28:57..and Mrs Claus.

1:29:00 > 1:29:02Well, go on, now.

1:29:02 > 1:29:03Kiss her.

1:29:09 > 1:29:12ALL: Aw!

1:29:15 > 1:29:17CLOCK CHIMES

1:29:17 > 1:29:20GURGLING

1:29:20 > 1:29:22CHEERING

1:29:32 > 1:29:34Dad, we got to go.

1:29:34 > 1:29:36We got to go. Walk me to my sleigh.

1:29:36 > 1:29:38Watch out. We got to go.

1:29:38 > 1:29:40Get back and start making some more toys.

1:29:45 > 1:29:47All right.

1:29:47 > 1:29:48Well, Mrs Claus,

1:29:48 > 1:29:50You might want to get some rest.

1:29:50 > 1:29:53You see, tomorrow begins vacation season for me,

1:29:53 > 1:29:56which means a three-month honeymoon for us.

1:29:56 > 1:29:58LAUGHS

1:29:58 > 1:29:59Ah, nothing tropical.

1:29:59 > 1:30:02You do not want to see this in a speedo.

1:30:02 > 1:30:04Don't be home too late.

1:30:05 > 1:30:08And so it begins.

1:30:08 > 1:30:09Boys, we've got some toys to deliver.

1:30:09 > 1:30:11Hyah!

1:30:11 > 1:30:13SHOUTING

1:30:19 > 1:30:21HOOFBEATS

1:30:24 > 1:30:26DOOR HINGES CREAKING

1:30:33 > 1:30:34(Lucy.)

1:30:35 > 1:30:37What, Charlie?

1:30:37 > 1:30:39Come downstairs with me.

1:30:39 > 1:30:40I want you to see something.

1:30:50 > 1:30:53Lucy. Watch this.

1:31:00 > 1:31:01Oh!

1:31:09 > 1:31:11Uncle Scott?

1:31:15 > 1:31:16Do you have any twos?

1:31:16 > 1:31:19Go fish! You are Santa!

1:31:19 > 1:31:22I knew it was you all along.

1:31:22 > 1:31:23And you were right.

1:31:23 > 1:31:25Uncle Scott...

1:31:25 > 1:31:28You look all rosy. Are you feeling better?

1:31:28 > 1:31:30I'm feeling much, much better.

1:31:30 > 1:31:33Is there anything else I should know about?

1:31:33 > 1:31:35I don't know. But, you know,

1:31:35 > 1:31:37I think Charlie has something he wants to tell you.

1:31:37 > 1:31:38OK.

1:31:40 > 1:31:43You know, Lucy, I was exactly your age

1:31:43 > 1:31:45when I found out my dad was Santa,

1:31:45 > 1:31:48- but I couldn't tell anybody. - I can't tell anybody either?

1:31:48 > 1:31:51No. But knowing it isn't a burden.

1:31:52 > 1:31:53It's a gift.

1:31:55 > 1:31:58Most kids stop believing in Santa when they grow up,

1:31:58 > 1:32:00but I get to believe in him forever.

1:32:00 > 1:32:03I love you, Charlie. Thank you.

1:32:09 > 1:32:10But do I still get toys?

1:32:10 > 1:32:14If you ever get to bed and go to sleep like the other kids.

1:32:14 > 1:32:16Oh, OK.

1:32:16 > 1:32:18Merry Christmas, Lucy.

1:32:18 > 1:32:20Merry Christmas, Santa.

1:32:20 > 1:32:23Sport, I got to fly.

1:32:23 > 1:32:26WIND RUSHING

1:32:29 > 1:32:31HOOFBEATS

1:32:31 > 1:32:32Come on.

1:32:38 > 1:32:40Easy, boys, easy.

1:32:40 > 1:32:41CHET GROANING

1:32:41 > 1:32:43And you're getting it, Chet.

1:32:54 > 1:32:56GRUNTING

1:32:56 > 1:32:59Look, Charlie!

1:32:59 > 1:33:01Merry Christmas, Comet!

1:33:05 > 1:33:07SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING

1:33:07 > 1:33:08All right, boys!

1:33:10 > 1:33:12Hyah! Ho ho ho!

1:33:12 > 1:33:15Hyah!

1:33:15 > 1:33:19Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!

1:33:19 > 1:33:21REINDEER GRUNTING

1:33:21 > 1:33:23They're all in a straight line, Chet!

1:33:23 > 1:33:25Chet! CHET GIGGLES

1:33:25 > 1:33:27Chet!!

1:33:36 > 1:33:38SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING

1:33:38 > 1:33:41Music: "Everybody Loves Christmas" by Eddie Money

1:33:41 > 1:33:43It's 'round the corner now.

1:33:44 > 1:33:45Don't you love it?

1:33:46 > 1:33:47All right.

1:33:49 > 1:33:52# Everybody loves Christmas

1:33:52 > 1:33:54# Everybody has fun

1:33:55 > 1:33:58# The time of the year, the holiday cheer

1:33:58 > 1:34:00# A good time for everyone

1:34:00 > 1:34:03# Everybody loves Christmas

1:34:03 > 1:34:06# I'm counting the ways

1:34:06 > 1:34:09# You'll know when it's almost here

1:34:09 > 1:34:12# On Christmas day

1:34:12 > 1:34:14# Christmas day... #

1:34:14 > 1:34:18Music: "Santa Claus lane" by Hilary Duff

1:34:18 > 1:34:21# I remember last Christmas Eve... #

1:34:21 > 1:34:22Hey!

1:34:22 > 1:34:24# Something happened that I couldn't believe... #

1:34:24 > 1:34:26What the heck are we doing out here?

1:34:26 > 1:34:30# I went for a walk as the snow came down

1:34:30 > 1:34:31# And when it stopped... #

1:34:31 > 1:34:34If we're gonna dance, dance like this.

1:34:34 > 1:34:35All of us.

1:34:35 > 1:34:38Everybody, you idiot!

1:34:40 > 1:34:43Hey, lady! What's this?

1:34:43 > 1:34:45Ever seen a toy do this?

1:34:46 > 1:34:48Ha-ha-ha!

1:34:48 > 1:34:49Where are you going?

1:34:49 > 1:34:52Subtitles by the National Captioning Institute