0:00:08 > 0:00:09COWBOY, WHISTLING: Hyah!
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# Out in the land where the men are tough as cactus
0:00:12 > 0:00:16# Out in the land where the Wild, Wild West was won
0:00:16 > 0:00:18# Out in the land of the desperado
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# If you're soft as an avocado
0:00:20 > 0:00:22# Yee-haw! You're guacamole, son
0:00:22 > 0:00:24# Oh, home, this ain't it, pal
0:00:24 > 0:00:26# Home, home, home on the range
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# Home, home, better go git, pal
0:00:28 > 0:00:30# You ain't home on the range
0:00:30 > 0:00:33# Out in the land where the weak are target practice
0:00:33 > 0:00:37# Out in the land where they shoot the mild and meek
0:00:37 > 0:00:39# Out where the bad are a whole lot badder
0:00:39 > 0:00:41# If you're the type with a nervous bladder
0:00:41 > 0:00:44# Yip! Yow! Your saddle's gonna reek
0:00:44 > 0:00:47# Cos you ain't home on the range
0:00:47 > 0:00:49# Cowboy, you're really up a creek
0:00:49 > 0:00:51# Home, home, home on the range
0:00:51 > 0:00:53# Home, home, home on the range
0:00:53 > 0:00:55# Home, home, home on the range... #
0:00:55 > 0:00:57COWBOY: Howdy, Sheriff!
0:00:57 > 0:00:58HORSE SNORTS
0:01:02 > 0:01:04HORSE SNORTS
0:01:05 > 0:01:07MAGGIE: Home on the range.
0:01:07 > 0:01:11Once upon a time, I had a home on the range.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14But not any more.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18Well, it's no use cryin' over spilled milk.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Speakin' of which, that's me.
0:01:20 > 0:01:21I'm the cow.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23FLY BUZZES
0:01:23 > 0:01:24Yeah, they're real.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Quit staring.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28I'm sort of between homes right now.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30I lost my old place
0:01:30 > 0:01:34thanks to the meanest bunch of cattle rustlers in the West -
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Alameda Slim and the Willie Brothers gang.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40COWBOY YODELS
0:01:43 > 0:01:46MAGGIE: Somehow, they stole the whole herd
0:01:46 > 0:01:49right out from under our noses, and then they disappeared
0:01:49 > 0:01:51without a trace.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53HE PANTS
0:01:53 > 0:01:55SHE MOOS
0:01:55 > 0:01:57MAGGIE: After that,
0:01:57 > 0:02:00poor old Abner couldn't afford to keep the place...
0:02:00 > 0:02:03or me, either, for that matter.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Well, no matter how bad things get,
0:02:09 > 0:02:12there's probably somebody worse off.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15WHIMPERS
0:02:15 > 0:02:17That guy, for instance.
0:02:17 > 0:02:18- ABNER:- Hey, Maggie.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Take a look at your new home.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23MAGGIE: Hey! A dairy farm?
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Now we're talkin'!
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Hope it's not one of them fat-free places.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31UPBEAT MUSIC
0:02:31 > 0:02:33# I know a place
0:02:33 > 0:02:35# Pretty as pie
0:02:35 > 0:02:37# Out where the river bend
0:02:37 > 0:02:40# Hits up with the end of the sky
0:02:40 > 0:02:42# It's left of Nebraska
0:02:42 > 0:02:45# And over a crest
0:02:45 > 0:02:48# On a little patch of heaven way out west
0:02:48 > 0:02:51# Everything's green
0:02:51 > 0:02:53# Know what I mean?
0:02:53 > 0:02:55# Darlin', it's quite the sweetest sight
0:02:55 > 0:02:57# That you ever done seen
0:02:57 > 0:03:00# Ain't nothin' much out there
0:03:00 > 0:03:02# Just life at its best
0:03:02 > 0:03:07# On a little patch of heaven way out west
0:03:07 > 0:03:09# Bees by the dozen
0:03:09 > 0:03:12# Are buzzin' real peaceful
0:03:12 > 0:03:15# Every bluebonnet, doggone it, smells nice
0:03:15 > 0:03:16SNEEZES
0:03:16 > 0:03:18# Even the tumblin' tumbleweed
0:03:18 > 0:03:20# Slows down to match your speed
0:03:20 > 0:03:23# On my tiny half an acre of paradise
0:03:23 > 0:03:26# Darlin', I swear
0:03:26 > 0:03:28# Once you been there
0:03:28 > 0:03:30# There ain't a view beneath the blue
0:03:30 > 0:03:33# That could ever compare
0:03:33 > 0:03:35# The only thing missing
0:03:35 > 0:03:38# Is you as my guest
0:03:38 > 0:03:42# On a little patch of heaven way out west
0:03:42 > 0:03:44# Why don't you come visit?
0:03:44 > 0:03:49# There's room in the nest
0:03:49 > 0:03:51# On that little patch of heaven
0:03:51 > 0:03:55# Way out we-e-e-e...
0:03:55 > 0:03:57HE SNORES
0:03:57 > 0:04:00# ...e-e-e-est. #
0:04:00 > 0:04:01CHICK CROWS
0:04:01 > 0:04:02Wah! Aaah!
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Ooh! Uhh!
0:04:04 > 0:04:05Oh! Uhh!
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Hey, that's my boy.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09- PIGGIES:- Can hog! Can hog!
0:04:09 > 0:04:11GOAT: Don't yell at me.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Oh. The call of duty.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Why don't you handle this one, Grace?
0:04:15 > 0:04:18It's time I gave you more responsibility on the farm.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Really?
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Thanks, Mrs C. I'll make you proud.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25- Can hog! Can hog!- Get off my case, cocktail wieners!
0:04:25 > 0:04:26- GRACE:- Whoa, whoa!
0:04:26 > 0:04:29I'm sensing a lot of negative energy here.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31That's our can, and Jeb took it.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34And now he says it's HIS can.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Now, let's not play the shame and blame game.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38This is an organic problem,
0:04:38 > 0:04:41and there's a holistic solution.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44You don't get this whole farm concept,
0:04:44 > 0:04:46do you, sister?
0:04:46 > 0:04:47Kill the goat!
0:04:47 > 0:04:50THEY ALL SHOUT
0:04:50 > 0:04:53- Give it!- Get the can!
0:04:53 > 0:04:54Ahem.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57We're sorry, Mrs Caloway.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Piggies, why can't you leave Jeb alone?
0:05:00 > 0:05:01Yeah! Why can't you?
0:05:01 > 0:05:03The poor old goat needs peace and quiet.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05That's right! I need it!
0:05:05 > 0:05:07So, run along, and take your can with you.
0:05:07 > 0:05:11Yeah, take that can and... Hey! Come back, you little bacon bits!
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Jeb, don't you have enough cans of your own?
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Uh, no, not really.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20I'd be happy to take her in, Abner.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22There's always room for one more.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Well, thanks, Pearl.
0:05:24 > 0:05:25I gotta warn you, though.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28She's, heh-heh, she's a bit headstrong.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Oh, now, don't you worry, Abner.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32I'm sure she'll fit right in.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35So long, Pearl. You take care, now.
0:05:35 > 0:05:36Mrs Caloway!
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Oh! Mrs Caloway! Mrs Calo...
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Mrs Caloway,
0:05:40 > 0:05:43there's a newcomer at the gate!
0:05:43 > 0:05:45- Not now, Audrey. - But it's a great big...
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Everybody? This here is Maggie.
0:05:48 > 0:05:49TYRES SCREECH
0:05:49 > 0:05:50ROCK MUSIC PLAYS
0:05:53 > 0:05:56- PEARL:- Three-time winner of the Golden Udder award
0:05:56 > 0:05:59and the original Miss Happy Heifer.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01A show cow?
0:06:01 > 0:06:03On Patch of Heaven?
0:06:04 > 0:06:05HE GASPS
0:06:16 > 0:06:18- PEARL:- Now, I want y'all to make her feel right at home.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20You hear me?
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Hey, thanks, everybody.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25It's great to be here in Patch of Heaven.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Now, don't everybody speak at one time.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30What is this, the frozen food section?
0:06:31 > 0:06:33ECHOING: Is this thing on?
0:06:34 > 0:06:35Ahem. Good morning,
0:06:35 > 0:06:37uh, Margaret.
0:06:37 > 0:06:38What a wonderful surprise
0:06:38 > 0:06:40to find a fellow bovine joining the ranks.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42HE COUGHS Phony.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Ooh!
0:06:43 > 0:06:44I'm Mrs Caloway.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46- Hi.- And this is Grace.
0:06:46 > 0:06:47Hi.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50No applause and trophies here, I'm afraid.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Just the fruits of our good, honest labour.
0:06:53 > 0:06:54Hi.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Workin' stiffs, huh?
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Boy, I remember those days.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02Wow! You're the biggest cow I have ever saw.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Well, if you're in charge, I'll take that as a compliment.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07- Uh...- And if you're not, I'll just have to sit on you.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Mom!
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Hey, I'm only kidding!
0:07:11 > 0:07:15Say, what is this you've got jammed up in your ear?
0:07:15 > 0:07:16Whoa!
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Here, have an apple, kid.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Don't go near any luaus, though.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Wait a minute.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24I got somethin' stuck in my ear.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28This one's for me.
0:07:28 > 0:07:29SHE BELCHES
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Ahh! That was good.
0:07:31 > 0:07:32ALL: Awesome!
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Do it again! Do it again!
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Come on! Do it again! Do it again!
0:07:37 > 0:07:40- DILLON:- Oh! That's so cool!
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Maggie's some fun, isn't she?
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Ohh...teaching pigs to throw food.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46As if they weren't sloppy enough.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49I'm goin' long!
0:07:51 > 0:07:53HE CHUCKLES
0:07:53 > 0:07:54Ohh!
0:07:54 > 0:07:55SHE BELCHES
0:07:55 > 0:07:57THEY ALL BELCH
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Whoa! Whoa!
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Dagnabit, Buck, slow down!
0:08:08 > 0:08:11MAGGIE: OK, who's up for a game of tin-can tag?
0:08:11 > 0:08:13That can is a family heirloom.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Whoever wins is gettin' a free tetanus shot!
0:08:15 > 0:08:17OK?
0:08:17 > 0:08:18- BUCK:- Superstar comin' through!
0:08:19 > 0:08:20- ALL:- Awesome!
0:08:20 > 0:08:22No autographs, please.
0:08:22 > 0:08:23I got your autograph, pal!
0:08:23 > 0:08:24Ow!
0:08:24 > 0:08:25Who's the hotshot?
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Oh, it's Buck.
0:08:27 > 0:08:28Puh! City slicker.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30- SHERIFF:- Oh! Whoa!
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Whoa! Dagnabit, Buck!
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Take it easy. This ain't no rodeo.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Why, good morning, Sam.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Heh-heh. Is that ornery horse gettin' away from you again?
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Oh, uh...howdy, Pearl.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44I came out to bring you another bank notice.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46This one'll be the last.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Every time I get a weak harvest, they send me one of these notices.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51They'll get their money soon enough.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54It's a whole new shootin' match now, Pearl.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56The bank's callin' in everybody's debt.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00They're losin' money somethin' fierce with all the cattlemen goin' under.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03If they don't get their money in three days,
0:09:03 > 0:09:06- they're gonna auction off Patch of Heaven.- What?
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Oh! No.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10But...they can't take my place.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Why, I've been here through twisters, blizzards.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Sam, uh...
0:09:15 > 0:09:18Sam, this is my home.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22I'm sorry, Pearl.
0:09:22 > 0:09:23I'm truly sorry.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Yeah, well...
0:09:26 > 0:09:30"sorry" just ain't gonna save my farm.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36Well, Buck, I hope you're proud of yourself.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39As a matter of fact, I am. Thank you for checking.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44You know, Pearl,
0:09:44 > 0:09:46it don't have to be this way.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49You've got the best livestock in the county.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52All you gotta do is just sell off a few of these critters...
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Stop right there, Sam.
0:09:54 > 0:09:55They're family.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57You don't sell family.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58Hold your horses, Pearl.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Now you get, before I start using words
0:10:00 > 0:10:02no good woman should ever use.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05- Don't bust your gusset, woman! - Go on, Sam!
0:10:05 > 0:10:08It is still my property! Now get!
0:10:08 > 0:10:09I said, get!
0:10:09 > 0:10:12I was just tryin' to help!
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Oh. Oh.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24That sure took the starch right out of me.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32SHE SIGHS
0:10:33 > 0:10:35I am sorry, girls.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39I'm just plum out of ideas.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52Well, I think we all know what happens now.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55- Uh, Jeb, don't start. - Now we all get eaten.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56- Jeb?- What? What?
0:10:56 > 0:10:58You don't think people in town eat animals?
0:10:58 > 0:11:01But who would eat a chicken? Heh-heh.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Come on, guys. There must be something we can do.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06What? What could we do?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Ohh...this just isn't fair.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Fair!
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Good call, Curly!
0:11:13 > 0:11:14- Ollie.- Ollie.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Uh, what is?
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Listen. What would you say if I told you
0:11:18 > 0:11:21that you could win big money,
0:11:21 > 0:11:24and see beautiful downtown Chugwater,
0:11:24 > 0:11:26if you went to the County Fair?
0:11:26 > 0:11:27THEY ALL COO
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Thank you for your input, but...
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Come on! Let the new cow talk!
0:11:31 > 0:11:34- ALL:- New cow! New cow! New cow!
0:11:34 > 0:11:35Come on, Mrs C.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38You've got a real good-lookin' bunch here.
0:11:38 > 0:11:39I see some real potential.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Aw, shucks.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Now, the fair is two weeks away.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46I say we go to town, butter up that sheriff's horse,
0:11:46 > 0:11:48and get him to give us more time.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51- What are we waitin' for, Maggie? Let's go.- That's right.
0:11:51 > 0:11:52What do you say, Caloway?
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Bah! Absolutely not.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57I will not abandon Pearl in her hour of need
0:11:57 > 0:11:59for such a ridiculous plan.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02She would be devastated if she found us missing.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04As far as I'm concerned, it's not an option.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07All right. Suit yourself.
0:12:07 > 0:12:08Come on, Grace.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10We've got a farm to save.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Oh, you'll have to excuse her. She's just a little tense.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Tense. What's her specialty,
0:12:18 > 0:12:20sour cream?
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Pff! Going to town.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Of all the ill-conceived id...
0:12:26 > 0:12:27CHICKS TWEET
0:12:29 > 0:12:33Now, don't look at me so crossly. I know what you're going to say...
0:12:33 > 0:12:36that Maggie and Grace will need someone
0:12:36 > 0:12:41with my eye for detail to keep them on the straight and narrow.
0:12:41 > 0:12:42Say no more.
0:12:42 > 0:12:43I'll go.
0:12:43 > 0:12:44Now, tut tut.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46No mushy goodbyes, my little ones.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50You know how I get about overly emotional displays.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Ahem. Ladies?
0:12:53 > 0:12:54- GRACE:- Mrs C.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58BRITISH ACCENT: Well, what made you change your mind?
0:12:58 > 0:13:00I'd rather not talk about it.
0:13:00 > 0:13:01It's a chick thing.
0:13:04 > 0:13:05- AUDREY:- Good luck, girls!
0:13:05 > 0:13:07- See ya!- Bye!
0:13:07 > 0:13:09JEB: They're stew meat.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Hurry back!
0:13:15 > 0:13:17SQUAWKING
0:13:23 > 0:13:26- OFF-KEY:- # She'll be comin' 'round the mountain
0:13:26 > 0:13:28# She'll be comin' 'round the mountain
0:13:28 > 0:13:30# She'll be comin' 'round... #
0:13:30 > 0:13:33She better hurry up around that mountain cos I cannot take this much longer.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Maggie, may I be frank?
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Only if you let me wear the hat.
0:13:38 > 0:13:42Ahem. Lowbrow remarks may work for you,
0:13:42 > 0:13:45but we prefer the gentle approach.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Well, she better stick a sock in it soon.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50The vultures are starting to circle.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52SHE GASPS
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Hey, she's not dying!
0:13:54 > 0:13:57You sure? We could wait around!
0:13:57 > 0:13:59# ..No, nothing, when she sees Grandma
0:13:59 > 0:14:01# No more food for her... #
0:14:01 > 0:14:03We'll keep you posted!
0:14:03 > 0:14:05False alarm, Clem!
0:14:05 > 0:14:06CLEM: Roger, out like the wind!
0:14:06 > 0:14:11Hey, Maggie, Mrs C? How do we find the sheriff's office when we get into town?
0:14:11 > 0:14:12Elementary, my dear Grace.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14If we find Buck, we find the sheriff.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17That horse is a legend in his own mind.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20MAGGIE LAUGHS
0:14:21 > 0:14:24MOODY WESTERN MUSIC
0:14:34 > 0:14:36So, you think you got the drop on me?
0:14:36 > 0:14:37Well, think again.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40BUCK MAKES CHOP-SOCKY NOISES
0:14:44 > 0:14:46HE BELLOWS
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Hmm.
0:14:48 > 0:14:49Whoo!
0:14:51 > 0:14:52Aah!
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Hay! Jump back! Kiss myself!
0:14:59 > 0:15:01- VOICE:- Buck. Earth to Buck?
0:15:01 > 0:15:02Buck!
0:15:02 > 0:15:05- HE WHISTLES - It's your move.
0:15:08 > 0:15:09HE GASPS
0:15:09 > 0:15:11HE SNORES
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Ohh...great.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14HE SNORTS
0:15:14 > 0:15:17You were sleep-fighting again. Almost threw a shoe.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Ohh. Sorry. Heh.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22It just...it seems like all the other horses
0:15:22 > 0:15:24are out there fighting bad guys and takin' names!
0:15:24 > 0:15:26CHOP-SOCKY SCREAM
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Uhh! Who put this here?
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Oh, Buck, this ain't no Dodge City,
0:15:31 > 0:15:33but we get our share of excitement.
0:15:33 > 0:15:34MAN: Hey, Sheriff!
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Been waitin' a long time to give you this!
0:15:37 > 0:15:38Telegram!
0:15:38 > 0:15:41Oh, howdy, Morse. What you got there?
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Hmm. "Got Evil-Eye Joe. Stop.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46"Bringing him today. Stop.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49"Have money ready. Signed, Rico."
0:15:49 > 0:15:50BUCK GASPS
0:15:50 > 0:15:51Ha! Oh, yeah!
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Rico caught another one already.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Might as well give him the key to my safe.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58You hear that, Rusty? Rico's comin'.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Yeah, Rico. I'm old. I ain't deaf.
0:16:01 > 0:16:02Boy, wouldn't that be the life?
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Ridin' with Rico, cleanin' up the West.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08Kickin' bad-guy behind! Whoo! Wah-yah! Watch out, sucker!
0:16:08 > 0:16:10KUNG-FU SHOUTS
0:16:16 > 0:16:19All right, girls. We're goin' in.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21- SHE GASPS - Look!
0:16:21 > 0:16:23There's no fences.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25What keeps the people from roaming?
0:16:25 > 0:16:26They appear to be domesticated.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29It doesn't feel dangerous at all.
0:16:29 > 0:16:30It's perfectly safe.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Quiet as a farm at milkin' time.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35- BOOM - What was that?- It's a gunfight!
0:16:35 > 0:16:37THEY ALL MOO
0:16:37 > 0:16:38POPPING
0:16:38 > 0:16:39THUNKING
0:16:39 > 0:16:40CRASHING
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Aah! Hit the dirt!
0:16:42 > 0:16:43Who lives like this?
0:16:43 > 0:16:46- What do we do? - Look, a star on that door!
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Must be the sheriff's office.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Move, ladies! Move!
0:16:50 > 0:16:53# Swivel your hips, ooh! Give 'em a grind
0:16:53 > 0:16:56# Shimmy and shake and leave your troubles be... #
0:16:56 > 0:16:59THEY ALL SCREAM
0:16:59 > 0:17:01THEY LAUGH
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Whoa! Get those cows off the stage!
0:17:04 > 0:17:05THEY GROWL
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Maybe we came at a bad time.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09- ALL:- Charge!
0:17:10 > 0:17:11MAGGIE MOOS
0:17:11 > 0:17:13MRS CALOWAY SHRIEKS
0:17:14 > 0:17:15THEY LAUGH
0:17:15 > 0:17:17How dare you?!
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Oh!
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Whoa-oh-oh!
0:17:21 > 0:17:23SHE SCREAMS
0:17:24 > 0:17:26- Daddy?- Son!
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Ptoo!
0:17:32 > 0:17:34I say! Aah!
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Aah! Oh! Ow! What did I do?
0:17:37 > 0:17:39THEY ALL SHOUT
0:17:41 > 0:17:42- WOMAN:- That does it!
0:17:42 > 0:17:46Hoof it on out of here, ladies! Go on!
0:17:46 > 0:17:47Oh, come back!
0:17:47 > 0:17:49That was the best dang show we ever had!
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Aw, you've been on the trail too long, you old coot.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Ohh. What kind of Sheriff's office is that?
0:17:55 > 0:17:58Dancing girls, gambling... How does he ever get any work done?
0:17:58 > 0:18:00If that's the sheriff's office,
0:18:00 > 0:18:03this town rocks.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05MAGGIE LAUGHS
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Well, if it isn't three maids a-milkin'.
0:18:07 > 0:18:11You girls a little far from home, aren't ya?
0:18:11 > 0:18:13Well, if it isn't the Phony Express.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16We want a word with you about this.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19- What's that? - What is that?
0:18:19 > 0:18:22I believe you left this on our farm.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Wai... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.
0:18:24 > 0:18:28The place went bankrupt. Your farm is history.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Don't you heifers get it?
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Hold on, you two!
0:18:32 > 0:18:35Two more weeks and we'll have at least 60 bucks in prize money to...
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Ah-ah-ah. You got three days to pay or get on your way.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40And 60 bucks don't cut it.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42- Looks like you need about... - HE SNIFFS
0:18:42 > 0:18:45Hmm, I'd say...
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Seven hundred and fifty of 'em.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50But, Maggie, where are we gonna get all that money?
0:18:50 > 0:18:53Well, maybe Maggie can just pull it out of her ear.
0:18:53 > 0:18:54Hey, watch it, Caloway.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57RUMBLE OF THUNDER
0:18:59 > 0:19:00THEY GULP
0:19:01 > 0:19:03- Rico.- Rico.
0:19:03 > 0:19:04FLIES BUZZ
0:19:04 > 0:19:05- BOTH:- Rico.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08WIND HOWLS
0:19:10 > 0:19:13HE COUGHS
0:19:21 > 0:19:22HORSE SNORTS
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Who is that?
0:19:24 > 0:19:25FLY BUZZES
0:19:25 > 0:19:28- Shh.- Sorry.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Don't you know a hero when you see one, huh?!
0:19:34 > 0:19:35That's Rico,
0:19:35 > 0:19:39the best dang bounty hunter this side of the Pecos.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41I could guess from here to tomorrow,
0:19:41 > 0:19:43but I don't know how you do it, Rico.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Where's my money?
0:19:45 > 0:19:49Well, all right, I got it right here for you.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Hey, they're giving away free money!
0:19:51 > 0:19:52Oh! Maggie!
0:19:52 > 0:19:54So, who else is out there?
0:19:54 > 0:19:55The only varmint left
0:19:55 > 0:19:58is that low-down, good-for-nothin' Alameda Slim.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Cattle rustler.
0:20:00 > 0:20:01What's the bounty?
0:20:01 > 0:20:03750.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06I got it!
0:20:06 > 0:20:09Why don't we go nab that Alameda Slim
0:20:09 > 0:20:11and use the reward money to save the farm?
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Oh, that is a sensible idea.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16I knew you'd love it!
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Tch. Don't they have sarcasm where you come from?
0:20:19 > 0:20:22Oh, wake up and smell the alfalfa! It's perfect!
0:20:22 > 0:20:25I'm gonna need a fresh horse.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29Hmm, a horse. A horse.
0:20:29 > 0:20:30Let me think.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33I reckon you'd want a fast horse, huh? Real fast?
0:20:33 > 0:20:36Course, he'd also have to be able to go
0:20:36 > 0:20:39for days without food or drink...
0:20:39 > 0:20:43stealthy, sure-footed in any terrain...
0:20:43 > 0:20:44well, huh...
0:20:44 > 0:20:45- BUCK:- Look at me!
0:20:45 > 0:20:47What about that horse?
0:20:47 > 0:20:50What, you mean Buck here?
0:20:50 > 0:20:51- Eee!- Boy, I don't know.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53Buck's fast, all right,
0:20:53 > 0:20:55but he's kind of a handful.
0:20:55 > 0:20:56He'll do.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58Well, suit yourself.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00- HE SQUEALS WITH DELIGHT - Hey, Rusty!
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Rico's saddle! I'm wearing Rico's saddle!
0:21:03 > 0:21:05I'm wearing Rico's saddle!
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Great. I'll leave you two alone.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Ohh, oh, no. No, no, no.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11There is no way in heaven or earth
0:21:11 > 0:21:12that cows can catch an outlaw.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Look, all we've got to do
0:21:14 > 0:21:17is follow this chuck wagon to a cattle drive.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Ahh. And then, you see,
0:21:20 > 0:21:22we let the bad guys come to us.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Oh! We've no reason to believe this chuck wagon
0:21:25 > 0:21:27is heading off to a cattle drive.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Hey, Tommy! Have fun on that cattle drive!
0:21:30 > 0:21:32All right, then. Mm-hmm.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35I think it is headed toward a cattle drive.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Shh. We are not following this wagon
0:21:37 > 0:21:39and that is final.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42Come on, Caloway. It'll be fun!
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Did you just hit me?
0:21:44 > 0:21:45Kinda.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47- Well, stop it.- Why?
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Because I don't like it.
0:21:54 > 0:21:55SPLAT
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Oh, no. Not the hat.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03What? What about the... Ugh!
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Hmph.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09MAGGIE MOOS
0:22:09 > 0:22:10All right, all right,
0:22:10 > 0:22:12violence is not going to solve anything.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15Why don't we all take a deep cleansing breath...
0:22:19 > 0:22:22Hey, now! Mud wrestling!
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Ha ha! Hey, hey! Watch the saddle!
0:22:24 > 0:22:27MOOING
0:22:28 > 0:22:31What in tarnation?
0:22:31 > 0:22:32Maggie, for the last time,
0:22:32 > 0:22:35I will not be roped into this scheme.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38Come on, you crazy heifers!
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Come on! Dagnabit!
0:22:40 > 0:22:43Hey, partner, curb your livestock.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45This town is clean!
0:22:45 > 0:22:47HE SPEAKS MANDARIN
0:22:47 > 0:22:48Giddy-up!
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Not exactly what I had in mind, but this'll work.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Well, it doesn't work for me!
0:22:55 > 0:22:58Adios, Buck. Take care of Rico now.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00HE WHINNIES
0:23:00 > 0:23:03Hasta la vista, heifers! Hoo-hoo!
0:23:07 > 0:23:10- GRACE, OFF-KEY:- # Oh, give me a home
0:23:10 > 0:23:13# Where the buffalo roam
0:23:13 > 0:23:19# And the deer...ahem... and the antelope pla-a-ay
0:23:19 > 0:23:21# Where seldom is heard
0:23:21 > 0:23:25# A discouraging word
0:23:25 > 0:23:28# And the skies are not cloudy all day
0:23:32 > 0:23:34# Home, home on the range... #
0:23:34 > 0:23:36- MAN:- Sold!- What was that?
0:23:36 > 0:23:39MAGGIE: It's a farm auction, ladies.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42- AUCTIONEER:- That's the last of the furniture.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44The final item is this piece of real property,
0:23:44 > 0:23:47known heretofore as the Dixon Farm.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50Do I hear 425? 425! Do I hear 450? 450?
0:23:50 > 0:23:53What's going to happen to the cow who lived there?
0:23:53 > 0:23:56- She'll be OK.- How do you know?
0:23:56 > 0:23:57You're lookin' at her.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59This was your farm?
0:23:59 > 0:24:00Mm-hm.
0:24:00 > 0:24:04We had, like, a family, too, you know.
0:24:04 > 0:24:05What happened?
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Alameda Slim happened.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09EVIL LAUGHTER ECHOES
0:24:10 > 0:24:14LAUGHTER ECHOES
0:24:14 > 0:24:17Sold to Mr Yancy O'Del!
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Pleasure doing business with you.
0:24:24 > 0:24:25THUD
0:24:30 > 0:24:32COWBOY PLAYS HARMONICA
0:24:34 > 0:24:36MAGGIE: Cattle drive. Told ya.
0:24:36 > 0:24:37You both owe me a dollar.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41Step lightly, girls. The male of the species can be extremely hostile.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Oh, come on, Caloway.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45It's not like they haven't seen a cow before.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Mmm? Ohh...
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Hey, Barry.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51What? Huh?
0:24:51 > 0:24:52Check it out.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Ooh, dairy cows!
0:24:55 > 0:24:56ALL: Ooh!
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Oh, hey, how's it going?
0:24:58 > 0:25:02Oh, hello. Let me guess. You're a Taurus.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Look, just keep moving and avoid eye contact.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- Ahem.- Oh!
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Pardon me, but what are three lovely ladies like you...
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Doing on a drive like this?
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Just ignore them, and perhaps they'll go away.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Oh, they seem like nice guys.
0:25:17 > 0:25:18Maybe they can help us.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Why, sure we can help you.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Maybe we can help each other.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24- Hmm?- Hmm?
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Look, lover-bull,
0:25:26 > 0:25:28we're here strictly on business.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Ooh, sounds pretty exciting.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32What kind of business?
0:25:32 > 0:25:35We're looking for a cattle rustler named Alameda Slim.
0:25:35 > 0:25:36Grace! Shh!
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Hey, it doesn't hurt to ask.
0:25:38 > 0:25:39Slim? Oh, ho ho ho!
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Why, Slim's just a scary bedtime story
0:25:42 > 0:25:44to get little calves to behave.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52- What was that?- It must be Slim and the Willies.
0:25:52 > 0:25:53Slim and the Willies?
0:25:53 > 0:25:56Don't worry, darlin'. I'll protect you.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59You have exactly two seconds to remove your hoof
0:25:59 > 0:26:00before I snap it off at the knee.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Oh, uh, sorry, ma'am. I thought you were the blonde.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Ooh!
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Come on, girls. Time to lose these ropes.
0:26:10 > 0:26:11- MAN:- Where you going?
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Ho-yah! Hyah!
0:26:13 > 0:26:14Maggie, I'm stuck.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16- MRS CALOWAY:- Look out!
0:26:16 > 0:26:17Hahh!
0:26:23 > 0:26:27- It's payback time. Cover me! - With what?
0:26:27 > 0:26:28- BOTH:- Howdy, Slim.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Quiet, you fools. We've got work to do.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Now listen up.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35There are crooks in this here West,
0:26:35 > 0:26:37who have claimed to be the best,
0:26:37 > 0:26:40and they think they wrote the book on how to rustle.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Well, as good as they may be,
0:26:43 > 0:26:44not a one's as good as me
0:26:44 > 0:26:48and I barely have to move a single muscle.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50They call me mean, boys,
0:26:50 > 0:26:52depraved and nasty, too,
0:26:52 > 0:26:54and they ain't seen, boys,
0:26:54 > 0:26:56the cruellest thing I do.
0:26:56 > 0:26:57MAGGIE MOOS
0:26:57 > 0:26:59You see I...
0:26:59 > 0:27:02# Yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odle
0:27:02 > 0:27:05# The sweetest way of rustlin' yet devised
0:27:05 > 0:27:09# Cos when I yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odle
0:27:09 > 0:27:13# Why, looky, how them cows get hypnotised
0:27:13 > 0:27:15# He don't prod, he don't yell
0:27:15 > 0:27:17# Still he drives them dogies well
0:27:17 > 0:27:20# Which ain't easy when your chaps are labelled
0:27:20 > 0:27:21# XXXXL
0:27:21 > 0:27:24# Yes, if yer lookin' from a bovine point of view
0:27:24 > 0:27:27# I sure can yodel-adle-eedle-idle
0:27:27 > 0:27:29# Yodel-adle-eedle-idle
0:27:29 > 0:27:33# Yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo. #
0:27:33 > 0:27:35Here we go, boys!
0:27:35 > 0:27:395,000 cattle in the side pocket!
0:27:39 > 0:27:41HE YODELS WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE
0:27:46 > 0:27:48HE YODELS YANKEE DOODLE
0:27:54 > 0:27:56HE YODELS BEETHOVEN'S ODE TO JOY
0:28:03 > 0:28:05# Ooh... #
0:28:05 > 0:28:08Maggie! Mrs Caloway! Snap out of it!
0:28:08 > 0:28:12# A sound that cattle truly take to heart
0:28:12 > 0:28:13# Yeah, I can yodel-adle-eedle-idle
0:28:13 > 0:28:16# Yodel-adle-eedle-idel-odle
0:28:16 > 0:28:19# And smack my big old rump if that ain't art
0:28:19 > 0:28:22# He don't rope, not a chance
0:28:22 > 0:28:24# He just puts 'em in a trance
0:28:24 > 0:28:27# He's a pioneer Pied Piper in ten-gallon underpants
0:28:27 > 0:28:29# Yep, I'm the real rip-roarin' deal
0:28:29 > 0:28:31# To those who moo
0:28:31 > 0:28:33# Thanks to my yodel-adle-eedle-idle
0:28:33 > 0:28:36# Yodel-adle-eedle-idle
0:28:36 > 0:28:38# I got cattle out the old wazoo, heh heh!
0:28:38 > 0:28:43# Cos I can yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo
0:28:43 > 0:28:45# Yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo. #
0:28:45 > 0:28:46SLIM LAUGHS
0:28:46 > 0:28:49COWS SCREAM
0:28:50 > 0:28:51Whoa. Ho, boy.
0:28:57 > 0:28:59Hmm...
0:29:01 > 0:29:03HORSE NEIGHS
0:29:03 > 0:29:05Rico, if you'd just been a second earlier,
0:29:05 > 0:29:07you'd-a had that rustler dead to rights.
0:29:07 > 0:29:10You boys see anything before I got here?
0:29:10 > 0:29:13We sure did, Rico. We were just settin' down to supper,
0:29:13 > 0:29:17when all of a sudden the lights went out...
0:29:17 > 0:29:20All right, what part of "cover me" didn't we understand?
0:29:20 > 0:29:22- You guys OK?- I don't know.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24I feel like I was dreaming.
0:29:24 > 0:29:26Yeah. Slim started singing,
0:29:26 > 0:29:29and all of a sudden I lost track of everything.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32Singing? That didn't sound like singing to me.
0:29:32 > 0:29:33And, you know, I have perfect pitch.
0:29:33 > 0:29:37Uh, yes. Grace, about your perfect pitch...
0:29:37 > 0:29:38Not now, Maggie.
0:29:38 > 0:29:41- All right, show's over!- Oh, no.
0:29:41 > 0:29:43You're interfering with official police bidness!
0:29:43 > 0:29:46Ha. Be right with you, big guy.
0:29:46 > 0:29:47Buck is on the case.
0:29:47 > 0:29:49You know. Whoo!
0:29:49 > 0:29:53Don't embarrass me in front of my partner. Please!
0:29:53 > 0:29:55You and he are partners?
0:29:55 > 0:29:57SHE STIFLES A LAUGH
0:29:57 > 0:29:59How does that work exactly?
0:29:59 > 0:30:01Do you get to ride him on odd days or even?
0:30:01 > 0:30:03Hey! He chose me specifically
0:30:03 > 0:30:07because I have skills that are essential to capturing our quarry.
0:30:07 > 0:30:09CHOP-SOCKY SHOUTS
0:30:09 > 0:30:11Huh?
0:30:11 > 0:30:14Ha ha ha!
0:30:14 > 0:30:16MAKES MORE KUNG FU NOISES
0:30:16 > 0:30:19Whoo! Smush! Oof!
0:30:19 > 0:30:21You boys headed back to town?
0:30:21 > 0:30:23Yes, sir. We got to go file a report with the sheriff.
0:30:23 > 0:30:25Give him back his horse.
0:30:25 > 0:30:28This one's too skittish around cows.
0:30:28 > 0:30:29And that, girls,
0:30:29 > 0:30:31is what makes me and Rico
0:30:31 > 0:30:35equal parts of one lean, mean crime-fighting...
0:30:35 > 0:30:38HORSE WHINNIES
0:30:39 > 0:30:41..machine?
0:30:43 > 0:30:45Well, there it is, then.
0:30:45 > 0:30:49Well, well, well, stud.
0:30:49 > 0:30:51Now, I'm no professional,
0:30:51 > 0:30:53but I'd say the only mano a mano
0:30:53 > 0:30:56you'll be doing is in your dreams.
0:30:56 > 0:30:57Oh, look out, Buck.
0:30:57 > 0:30:59He's making a move on your left flank.
0:30:59 > 0:31:00Kaboosh!
0:31:00 > 0:31:03Maggie! Grace! Leave that poor animal alone.
0:31:03 > 0:31:05SHE LAUGHS
0:31:05 > 0:31:08Buck, I realise you're very upset,
0:31:08 > 0:31:10but if you'd like to join our group
0:31:10 > 0:31:13and help us bring in Slim, we'd be happy to have you.
0:31:13 > 0:31:16However, there are a few
0:31:16 > 0:31:19anger-management issues we need to discuss.
0:31:19 > 0:31:21I wouldn't help you bossy bovines
0:31:21 > 0:31:23if my life depended on it!
0:31:23 > 0:31:25That's just what I'm talking about.
0:31:25 > 0:31:26MAGGIE: Grace!
0:31:26 > 0:31:28Bye.
0:31:28 > 0:31:30MAGGIE: Come on, girls. Let's go get Slim.
0:31:30 > 0:31:33"Come on, girls, let's go get Slim."
0:31:33 > 0:31:35Cud-chewing heifers.
0:31:35 > 0:31:38Huh. I can catch that Slim with one hoof tied behind my back.
0:31:38 > 0:31:40Wait a minute.
0:31:40 > 0:31:41Why don't I?
0:31:41 > 0:31:43Yes! Partner or no partner,
0:31:43 > 0:31:45that's what I'm-a do. Hey!
0:31:45 > 0:31:47# Ba ba ba ba ba... #
0:31:47 > 0:31:49NEIGHS FRANTICALLY
0:31:49 > 0:31:51COWBOYS SHOUT
0:31:51 > 0:31:53- COWBOY:- Aw, forget it.
0:31:53 > 0:31:55Definitely bipolar.
0:31:55 > 0:31:57Move it, sister! Hero passing on the left!
0:31:57 > 0:32:00- Hey, watch it.- Where are you going, hotfoot?
0:32:00 > 0:32:03I'm gonna go nab that rustler and show Rico I got what it takes,
0:32:03 > 0:32:07so say goodbye to your farm, girls, because Slim is mine.
0:32:07 > 0:32:08It's hero time!
0:32:08 > 0:32:10Watch out now! Hey! Get back!
0:32:10 > 0:32:12Jump back! Kiss myself! Whoo!
0:32:12 > 0:32:13Da da yoo!
0:32:13 > 0:32:16Oh, this is a fine kettle of fish.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18How can we compete with that?
0:32:18 > 0:32:19Look at the bright side, Mrs C.
0:32:19 > 0:32:22Don't forget about our secret weapon.
0:32:22 > 0:32:24Secret weapon?
0:32:24 > 0:32:26Who better to catch a cattle thief than a cow?
0:32:26 > 0:32:30Yeah, even you can't argue with that kind of logic.
0:32:30 > 0:32:31Ok, maybe you can.
0:32:31 > 0:32:33You know, Grace,
0:32:33 > 0:32:37Maggie does so love your singing. How about a song?
0:32:37 > 0:32:39MAGGIE: I'm gonna get you for this.
0:32:40 > 0:32:41SLIM LAUGHS
0:32:43 > 0:32:47Ha ha! 5,000 Texas longhorns.
0:32:47 > 0:32:50Not bad for one night's work.
0:32:50 > 0:32:52- COWBOY:- Pick a colour.
0:32:52 > 0:32:54- SLIM:- I said, not bad for one night's work.
0:32:55 > 0:32:56Thank you.
0:32:56 > 0:32:59And judging by the ear mark,
0:32:59 > 0:33:03I'd say these are the last of Big Mike Donald's herd.
0:33:03 > 0:33:05Big Mike Donald had a farm?
0:33:05 > 0:33:07Ee-aye-ee-aye...
0:33:07 > 0:33:09Ohh.
0:33:09 > 0:33:11That's right. He HAD a farm.
0:33:11 > 0:33:12Heh heh heh.
0:33:12 > 0:33:14Now all his cash cows have disappeared,
0:33:14 > 0:33:16that poor sap's flat broke.
0:33:16 > 0:33:19Perfect time for a certain upstanding land owner
0:33:19 > 0:33:21to step in and take all the land.
0:33:21 > 0:33:24- Aah! Who are you?- What did you do with Uncle Slim?
0:33:24 > 0:33:27Put up your dukes, Mr Fancy Britches.
0:33:29 > 0:33:30It's me. Hello?
0:33:30 > 0:33:32This here is the disguise I use
0:33:32 > 0:33:35to sneak into all them auctions and buy all the land,
0:33:35 > 0:33:37you brainless monotone monkeys.
0:33:37 > 0:33:41Shoot, you got to be the richest land baron in the west.
0:33:41 > 0:33:44Yes, but the part that really warms my heart
0:33:44 > 0:33:47is watching those homesteaders suffer.
0:33:48 > 0:33:49STEAM HISSES
0:33:49 > 0:33:51Back in the day, I worked
0:33:51 > 0:33:53the highfalutinest ranches you ever seen,
0:33:53 > 0:33:55but those stuck-up ranch bosses
0:33:55 > 0:33:57couldn't appreciate my talents.
0:33:57 > 0:34:00Maybe they just didn't like your singing.
0:34:00 > 0:34:01HE GRINDS HIS TEETH
0:34:01 > 0:34:02My singing?
0:34:04 > 0:34:07Songbirds sing.
0:34:07 > 0:34:09Saloon gals sing.
0:34:09 > 0:34:13Little bitty snot-nosed children sing.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15I yodel!
0:34:15 > 0:34:17And yodelling is an art!
0:34:17 > 0:34:20Well, maybe they just didn't like your yodelling.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25He didn't mean it, Uncle Slim.
0:34:25 > 0:34:27Everybody likes yodelling.
0:34:27 > 0:34:29Hmm?
0:34:29 > 0:34:34Why, it's one of the funniest, cornball, goofy, silly sounds
0:34:34 > 0:34:36in the whole West.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38Yaah! Aah! Yaah!
0:34:42 > 0:34:44- Uh, Gil?- Uh-huh?
0:34:44 > 0:34:47Am I correct in assuming that each and every time
0:34:47 > 0:34:50we brought a herd back to this secret lair,
0:34:50 > 0:34:53you've managed to sit in the exact same spot,
0:34:53 > 0:34:57blocking that choice piece of property from my view?!
0:34:57 > 0:35:00This is my comfy place.
0:35:00 > 0:35:03What? Aah!
0:35:03 > 0:35:05It's called Patch of Heaven, Uncle Slim.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08Goes on auction Thursday morning.
0:35:08 > 0:35:11Perfect. Pencil it in. Thursday morning,
0:35:11 > 0:35:13right after we sell off this herd.
0:35:13 > 0:35:15But it's just a little old dirt farm.
0:35:15 > 0:35:19Ah, what's the difference? When you're talking revenge,
0:35:19 > 0:35:23every last acre counts.
0:35:39 > 0:35:40I don't get it.
0:35:40 > 0:35:42Weren't the cows supposed to come back?
0:35:42 > 0:35:45Daddy, what's going to happen if they don't?
0:35:45 > 0:35:47Oh, but they are coming back.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50Hogwash! We all know they're never coming back.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52What? Ooh! Ooh!
0:35:52 > 0:35:53HE CHUCKLES
0:35:53 > 0:35:55You don't know that, Jeb.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57Everybody knows that bovines
0:35:57 > 0:35:59are the most intelligent,
0:35:59 > 0:36:01crafty animals in the west.
0:36:01 > 0:36:02Yeah. He's right, you know.
0:36:02 > 0:36:07It doesn't take a cow to figure out they saw the writing on the wall
0:36:07 > 0:36:10- and flown the coop while the getting was good.- What?
0:36:10 > 0:36:13Oh, no! They tricked us and deserted us!
0:36:13 > 0:36:14No, no. Aud-Audrey.
0:36:14 > 0:36:16CHICKENS SCREAM
0:36:16 > 0:36:18Excuse me. Excuse me.
0:36:18 > 0:36:21Excuse me!
0:36:24 > 0:36:25Oh, uh...
0:36:25 > 0:36:28let's not forget who we're talkin' 'bout.
0:36:28 > 0:36:31Audrey, remember when Grace helped you figure out
0:36:31 > 0:36:33why you crossed the road?
0:36:33 > 0:36:34And, Jeb...
0:36:34 > 0:36:37Mrs Caloway knew just what to do
0:36:37 > 0:36:39when your head got stuck in that spittoon.
0:36:39 > 0:36:40Get off my case!
0:36:40 > 0:36:43And Maggie was gonna make us all winners.
0:36:43 > 0:36:46I truly believe there ain't nothin'
0:36:46 > 0:36:48those three cows can't do.
0:36:53 > 0:36:55CHICKS CHIRP
0:36:55 > 0:36:56Aw...
0:36:56 > 0:36:58Well, whatever they're gonna do,
0:36:58 > 0:37:00they better do it soon.
0:37:00 > 0:37:04I'm so very sorry, Pearl.
0:37:04 > 0:37:07It's a real shame. It is.
0:37:11 > 0:37:13PEARL SIGHS
0:37:13 > 0:37:15Ollie, I don't know what's worse,
0:37:15 > 0:37:18losing my farm to the highest bidder
0:37:18 > 0:37:22or knowing that...that my girls are lost
0:37:22 > 0:37:24and alone out there.
0:37:24 > 0:37:26DISTANT THUNDER
0:37:27 > 0:37:29Yee-haw!
0:37:29 > 0:37:30Come on, girls.
0:37:30 > 0:37:32SHE SNIFFS Either I'm getting good at this,
0:37:32 > 0:37:33or his scent is getting stronger.
0:37:33 > 0:37:35Go get him, Maggie.
0:37:35 > 0:37:36Look out, Slim!
0:37:36 > 0:37:38No. It can't be.
0:37:38 > 0:37:39We're on your trail!
0:37:39 > 0:37:41Hmm.
0:37:55 > 0:37:56Hoo hoo!
0:37:58 > 0:37:59ALL GASP
0:37:59 > 0:38:01- GRACE:- Oops.
0:38:01 > 0:38:03- MRS CALOWAY:- This has Buck written all over it.
0:38:03 > 0:38:06We're not gonna let this dumb old trick stop us.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08Sooner or later, all these paths will hook up,
0:38:08 > 0:38:09and then...
0:38:11 > 0:38:13- GRACE:- Oh, no, the tracks!
0:38:13 > 0:38:15Hurry up, don't lose that trail.
0:38:15 > 0:38:18What trail? I can't see anything.
0:38:18 > 0:38:19THUNDER RUMBLES
0:38:19 > 0:38:21Look out!
0:38:23 > 0:38:26Oh! Flash flood!
0:38:26 > 0:38:28Get to high ground!
0:38:31 > 0:38:32Oh.
0:38:32 > 0:38:33Maggie!
0:38:35 > 0:38:37Oh!
0:38:38 > 0:38:40WATER ROARING
0:38:46 > 0:38:48THEY SCREAM
0:38:56 > 0:38:57SHE COUGHS
0:39:04 > 0:39:05Maggie!
0:39:05 > 0:39:06COUGHING
0:39:19 > 0:39:23No! Come on, girls, we can't give up!
0:39:23 > 0:39:24Maggie, that's enough.
0:39:24 > 0:39:26The minute this lets up,
0:39:26 > 0:39:29we're heading straight home to Patch of Heaven.
0:39:29 > 0:39:32But what about catching Slim and collecting the reward?
0:39:32 > 0:39:34We never had a prayer of catching him in the first place.
0:39:34 > 0:39:36This whole ridiculous plan
0:39:36 > 0:39:40is just so you can get revenge on those cattle rustlers.
0:39:40 > 0:39:43Hey! For your information, duchess,
0:39:43 > 0:39:46this whole ridiculous plan is about us saving our farm.
0:39:46 > 0:39:49Huh. Our farm might've had a fighting chance
0:39:49 > 0:39:50until you came along.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52What's that supposed to mean?
0:39:52 > 0:39:55Strutting around with your vulgar show-cow behaviour.
0:39:55 > 0:39:56I was just having...
0:39:56 > 0:39:59Wasting our time on your foolish plans.
0:39:59 > 0:40:01Through the years, Patch of Heaven
0:40:01 > 0:40:03has survived every hardship nature can dish out,
0:40:03 > 0:40:04but you, Maggie,
0:40:04 > 0:40:08are the biggest catastrophe to ever hit our farm.
0:40:08 > 0:40:10Well, if that's the way you feel,
0:40:10 > 0:40:12maybe we should just go our separate ways.
0:40:12 > 0:40:14That's the first good idea you've had.
0:40:14 > 0:40:16- Fine!- Fine!
0:40:16 > 0:40:17Fine!
0:40:17 > 0:40:18Fine!
0:40:26 > 0:40:27Yeah.
0:40:27 > 0:40:29Fine.
0:40:29 > 0:40:31It's not like your farm
0:40:31 > 0:40:34was ever gonna feel like home to me anyways.
0:40:50 > 0:40:52# Rain is pourin' down
0:40:52 > 0:40:55# Like the heavens are hurtin'
0:40:55 > 0:40:57# Seems like it's been dark
0:40:57 > 0:41:01# Since the devil knows when
0:41:01 > 0:41:02# How do you go on
0:41:02 > 0:41:06# Never knowing for certain
0:41:06 > 0:41:11# Will the sun ever shine again?
0:41:11 > 0:41:13# Feels like it's been years
0:41:13 > 0:41:16# Since it started to thunder
0:41:16 > 0:41:18# Clouds are campin' out
0:41:18 > 0:41:21# In the valley and glen
0:41:21 > 0:41:24# How do you go on
0:41:24 > 0:41:27# When you can't help but wonder
0:41:27 > 0:41:31# Will the sun ever shine again?
0:41:31 > 0:41:36# What if the rain keeps fallin'?
0:41:36 > 0:41:42# What if the sky stays grey?
0:41:42 > 0:41:48# What if the winds keep squallin'
0:41:48 > 0:41:52# And never go away?
0:41:52 > 0:41:57# Maybe soon the storm will be tired of blowin'
0:41:57 > 0:42:02# Maybe soon it all will be over, amen
0:42:02 > 0:42:04# How do you go on
0:42:04 > 0:42:08# If there's no way of knowin'?
0:42:08 > 0:42:12# Will the sun ever shine?
0:42:12 > 0:42:13# Wish I could say
0:42:14 > 0:42:17# Send me a sign
0:42:17 > 0:42:19# One little ray
0:42:19 > 0:42:22# Lord, if you're listenin'
0:42:22 > 0:42:27# How long until then?
0:42:28 > 0:42:32# Will the sun ever shine
0:42:32 > 0:42:38# Again? #
0:42:55 > 0:42:57SNORING
0:42:57 > 0:43:00Mmm...
0:43:05 > 0:43:06Maggie.
0:43:06 > 0:43:08Maggie. Maggie.
0:43:08 > 0:43:10- Wake up.- Check, please!
0:43:20 > 0:43:22It tasted a lot better in my sleep.
0:43:22 > 0:43:25Well, I suppose you'll be off now.
0:43:25 > 0:43:26Mm-hmm.
0:43:26 > 0:43:28Where will you go?
0:43:28 > 0:43:30Oh, probably check out the Grand Canyon.
0:43:30 > 0:43:32See Utah before I die.
0:43:32 > 0:43:34Wait a minute. Where's Grace?
0:43:34 > 0:43:35Hi, there.
0:43:35 > 0:43:37Boy, am I glad you guys are up.
0:43:37 > 0:43:39Hey, come look at this.
0:43:39 > 0:43:42What on earth? Where did all this come from?
0:43:42 > 0:43:46Hey, it's green, it's leafy, and it's free. Shut up and eat.
0:43:46 > 0:43:49Morning, ladies. I see you're enjoying your appetizer.
0:43:49 > 0:43:51Never knew a pretty lady didn't have an appetite.
0:43:51 > 0:43:53Oh, now, see here, you ruffian...
0:43:53 > 0:43:55He's not a ruffian, Mrs Caloway.
0:43:55 > 0:43:58He's a genuine desert shaman.
0:43:58 > 0:44:00Our very own wise man.
0:44:00 > 0:44:02Shaman, chef, chief cook, and bottle washer.
0:44:02 > 0:44:05I'm a jackrabbit of all trades and at your service.
0:44:05 > 0:44:08Folks around these parts call me Lucky Jack.
0:44:08 > 0:44:10Yep, they used to come from miles around
0:44:10 > 0:44:13just to get one rub of my lucky rabbit's foot.
0:44:13 > 0:44:15Whoo! Dagnabit!
0:44:18 > 0:44:21This happens all the time. Now, where was I?
0:44:21 > 0:44:23Ah. Voila.
0:44:23 > 0:44:26Now let me just get this on the fire,
0:44:26 > 0:44:28and it'll be ready directly.
0:44:28 > 0:44:30Mm-huh. Ow! Yow!
0:44:30 > 0:44:34Look, we don't eat meat. Kind of like a professional courtesy.
0:44:34 > 0:44:36Perhaps we'll dine with you some other time.
0:44:36 > 0:44:39You see, Grace and I are returning to our farm
0:44:39 > 0:44:40to say our last goodbyes.
0:44:40 > 0:44:43Yeah. We need closure.
0:44:43 > 0:44:45I can sympathise there, I truly can.
0:44:45 > 0:44:48Until recently, I, too, had a home.
0:44:48 > 0:44:49Echo Mine it was called.
0:44:49 > 0:44:51Us jackrabbits lived there
0:44:51 > 0:44:54for generation after generation.
0:44:54 > 0:44:57Till some land-grabbing bandit
0:44:57 > 0:44:59moved in and flushed us out
0:44:59 > 0:45:01like yesterday's oatmeal.
0:45:01 > 0:45:04Ahem. Excuse us.
0:45:04 > 0:45:05My good fellow, we must be on our way.
0:45:05 > 0:45:07Wait! There he is!
0:45:07 > 0:45:09SCREECHING
0:45:09 > 0:45:11JACK GROWLS
0:45:11 > 0:45:13Aah!
0:45:13 > 0:45:14Slim!
0:45:14 > 0:45:16You mean this no-good varmint
0:45:16 > 0:45:19is hiding out in Echo Mine right now?
0:45:19 > 0:45:21- Without a doubt. - Maggie, what are you thinking?
0:45:21 > 0:45:25Look, I got a score to settle with that rhinestone fat boy
0:45:25 > 0:45:26and nothing to lose.
0:45:26 > 0:45:29But it'll be dangerous going after Slim all by yourself.
0:45:29 > 0:45:32Hey, I got the rabbit.
0:45:32 > 0:45:34That's not all you got, Maggie.
0:45:34 > 0:45:35You got us.
0:45:35 > 0:45:38Oh, no. No, no, no. No.
0:45:38 > 0:45:40We are sticking to our plan and going home.
0:45:40 > 0:45:42Hold on, you two.
0:45:42 > 0:45:45As strange as this sounds,
0:45:45 > 0:45:47Grace is actually making sense.
0:45:47 > 0:45:49- Thank you.- You want the money
0:45:49 > 0:45:51and I want to get even with Slim.
0:45:51 > 0:45:53The three of us go together and we're sure to get him.
0:45:53 > 0:45:55Once you collect the reward,
0:45:55 > 0:45:56I'll walk out your front gate
0:45:56 > 0:46:00and I'll stay out of it forever. Deal?
0:46:01 > 0:46:06Your powers of persuasion are uncanny. Deal.
0:46:06 > 0:46:08Ha! Bovine bounty hunters!
0:46:08 > 0:46:09Now I've seen everything.
0:46:09 > 0:46:11Let's get moving, ladies.
0:46:11 > 0:46:16Time for an underground smackdown. Yee-haw!
0:46:16 > 0:46:20# Out in the land where the heroes meet their makers
0:46:20 > 0:46:24# Out in the land where the hale and hearty fall
0:46:24 > 0:46:26# Out where the fearless get the shudders
0:46:26 > 0:46:28# Justice is here and it's wearing udders
0:46:28 > 0:46:30# Yee-haw! The cows are walkin' tall
0:46:30 > 0:46:32# Home, home, this ain't it, pal
0:46:32 > 0:46:34# Home, home, home on the range
0:46:34 > 0:46:36# home, home, better go git, pal
0:46:36 > 0:46:38# Home, home, home on the range. #
0:46:38 > 0:46:42- SLIM:- OK, boys, let's go through it one last time.
0:46:42 > 0:46:45- Who am I?- Uncle Slim?
0:46:45 > 0:46:47Correct! Heh.
0:46:47 > 0:46:49Now, I put on my hat...
0:46:49 > 0:46:52then I put on my spectacles...
0:46:52 > 0:46:55- Hey! Who are you?! - Where's Uncle Slim?
0:46:55 > 0:47:00Ohh! It's still me! Can't you stupid sack of hammers get it right?
0:47:00 > 0:47:01TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS
0:47:01 > 0:47:04Oh, the ever-punctual Mr Weaseley.
0:47:04 > 0:47:07- SLIM:- OK, everybody make way
0:47:07 > 0:47:10for the big man in black market livestock.
0:47:12 > 0:47:14HISSING
0:47:14 > 0:47:16MAN COUGHS
0:47:19 > 0:47:20- Aah! - Hey, who're you?
0:47:20 > 0:47:22- MAN:- All right, come on!
0:47:22 > 0:47:24Move it, or I'll tan your hides right here.
0:47:24 > 0:47:27I...hey, hey, hey! Watch the suit! Watch the suit!
0:47:27 > 0:47:30Feast your eyes. 5,000 cows
0:47:30 > 0:47:33on the barrelhead, as promised, Mr Weaseley.
0:47:33 > 0:47:35The name's Wesley.
0:47:35 > 0:47:37So, Slim, what do you say we get a move on
0:47:37 > 0:47:41and load these cash cows onto the train ASAP, huh? Let's go.
0:47:41 > 0:47:42Yes, yes, of course.
0:47:42 > 0:47:45Just as soon as I finish counting. Hmm.
0:47:50 > 0:47:52- GRACE:- Lucky Jack, you did it! We're here!
0:47:52 > 0:47:55- MRS CALOWAY:- I take my hat off to you, Jack.
0:47:55 > 0:47:57You've got us here in one piece.
0:47:57 > 0:47:58Well, seein' is believin'.
0:47:58 > 0:48:00And I don't believe what I see.
0:48:00 > 0:48:03- MRS CALOWAY:- It's Buck! - MAGGIE: Stallion of the Cim-moron.
0:48:03 > 0:48:06I'm supposed to be here in case one of the horses get tired.
0:48:06 > 0:48:07Cows only.
0:48:07 > 0:48:10Look, friend, you don't understand my situation.
0:48:10 > 0:48:13No, YOU don't understand,
0:48:13 > 0:48:15so I'll say it again.
0:48:15 > 0:48:18The only critters that get by me are cows.
0:48:18 > 0:48:21Cows only.
0:48:21 > 0:48:24Oh, come on! Look, cut me a break.
0:48:24 > 0:48:25- MOOING - Now what?
0:48:25 > 0:48:27Aww, what are you doing here?
0:48:27 > 0:48:28Ha ha! Sorry we're late.
0:48:28 > 0:48:30We got separated from the herd.
0:48:30 > 0:48:32Right this way, little lady.
0:48:32 > 0:48:33Tell 'em Junior sent you.
0:48:33 > 0:48:35Ohh...
0:48:35 > 0:48:36Howdy, partner! Ahem.
0:48:36 > 0:48:38Nice hat, ma'am.
0:48:38 > 0:48:40Oh! Cheeky devil.
0:48:40 > 0:48:43Excuse me, reject. Coming through.
0:48:43 > 0:48:45Oh! Hey, what gives?!
0:48:45 > 0:48:48- How come they got to go through? - They're cows.
0:48:48 > 0:48:50What?! But what about the rabbit?
0:48:50 > 0:48:53Well, obviously, he was with the cows.
0:48:53 > 0:48:55Ha! I'm with the cows, too!
0:48:55 > 0:48:58Yeah! Hey! Hey, cows! W-Wait up!
0:48:58 > 0:49:00You got to tell this guy you know me!
0:49:00 > 0:49:02See, Junior, we're old friends!
0:49:02 > 0:49:04Come on, Margie! Uh, Gretchen!
0:49:04 > 0:49:06Miss, uh...uh, Hat Cow!
0:49:06 > 0:49:08Come on, it's your old pal Buck, see?
0:49:08 > 0:49:10Buck...Buck...
0:49:10 > 0:49:12Oh, Buck!
0:49:12 > 0:49:14Nah, doesn't ring a bell.
0:49:14 > 0:49:15No, no, no, wait!
0:49:15 > 0:49:16Hey, come back! No!
0:49:16 > 0:49:19Hang on...hang on a second. Heh-heh-heh.
0:49:19 > 0:49:22They're just kidding. You see, if you could... Oh, hey! Hey!
0:49:22 > 0:49:24Hey, cows! Cows! Oof!
0:49:24 > 0:49:26Don't make me hurt you.
0:49:26 > 0:49:28Heh-heh.
0:49:30 > 0:49:31Rico.
0:49:31 > 0:49:34I gotta go,
0:49:34 > 0:49:37but let's throw on the old feedbag sometime. Stay cool.
0:49:37 > 0:49:40Ha ha ha! It's hero time.
0:49:42 > 0:49:44- LUCKY JACK:- So what's the plan?
0:49:44 > 0:49:47Well, let's see...you get his attention while I sneak up
0:49:47 > 0:49:49and then I'll knock him into the cart,
0:49:49 > 0:49:52then we rope him up and wheel him to justice!
0:49:52 > 0:49:53And for extra measure,
0:49:53 > 0:49:56how about we conk him on the noggin with this?
0:49:56 > 0:49:58You go, cowgirl! That's usin' the old hat.
0:49:58 > 0:50:01Whoa, whoa, whoa! Now, you lost me here, missy.
0:50:01 > 0:50:02Look, Jack, it's simple.
0:50:02 > 0:50:04Cart, smack, rope, roll, justice.
0:50:04 > 0:50:06Come on, Jack, focus.
0:50:06 > 0:50:07Now is not the time
0:50:07 > 0:50:09to get all scatterbrained and flaky.
0:50:14 > 0:50:17Oh, good, I'm not too late.
0:50:17 > 0:50:19Sorry. Still stakin' out your quarry, huh?
0:50:19 > 0:50:20Yeah, pretty much. Why?
0:50:20 > 0:50:22Listen, I came to warn you,
0:50:22 > 0:50:24one equine to another, about Rico.
0:50:24 > 0:50:26As soon as he nabs that rustler,
0:50:26 > 0:50:29- he's gonna be in a big hurry to collect that reward.- So?
0:50:29 > 0:50:30So?! Once he catches his man,
0:50:30 > 0:50:33that's when the horsewhip comes out and he's not shy about using it!
0:50:33 > 0:50:35- Horsewhip?- Horsewhip!
0:50:35 > 0:50:37And not only are you gonna carry Rico,
0:50:37 > 0:50:38but that rustler too.
0:50:38 > 0:50:41- Have you seen that guy? He's huge!- What should I do?
0:50:41 > 0:50:42- Run!- OK.
0:50:42 > 0:50:45Run like the wind, partner, and save yourself!
0:50:45 > 0:50:48Go on, take off! Fade! Ride into the sunset!
0:50:48 > 0:50:50Aah! Scram!
0:50:50 > 0:50:52Thanks, buddy! I owe you one!
0:50:52 > 0:50:53Godspeed, my friend!
0:50:53 > 0:50:55So long, sucker! Ha ha!
0:50:55 > 0:50:58He must be takin' stupid lessons from that buffalo.
0:50:59 > 0:51:00Uh-oh.
0:51:00 > 0:51:03- SLIM:- 1,420... - GIL:- 4,334...
0:51:03 > 0:51:051,440...
0:51:05 > 0:51:09- 4,335... - 1,435...
0:51:09 > 0:51:12- 1... - 4,336...
0:51:12 > 0:51:14- Ohh! - 4,337...
0:51:14 > 0:51:17- Can't you morons count to yourselves?- Come on.
0:51:17 > 0:51:18Gotta start all over!
0:51:18 > 0:51:19- GRACE:- There he is.
0:51:19 > 0:51:21Come on, let's go!
0:51:21 > 0:51:22Hold on!
0:51:22 > 0:51:24You're forgetting Slim's hypnotic control
0:51:24 > 0:51:27over those with less than perfect pitch.
0:51:27 > 0:51:28Jack, I hope you can forgive me.
0:51:28 > 0:51:30- For what, missy? Aah!- For that.
0:51:30 > 0:51:31Watch it there, toots!
0:51:33 > 0:51:36Grace, how practical!
0:51:36 > 0:51:37Done countin'!
0:51:37 > 0:51:41- What do we got? - 4,997.
0:51:41 > 0:51:43What? Wait, wait, what?
0:51:43 > 0:51:45I thought you said 5,000 even.
0:51:45 > 0:51:46Of course I did.
0:51:46 > 0:51:48Gil must've just miscounted, that's all.
0:51:48 > 0:51:49MOOING
0:51:49 > 0:51:52- PHIL:- There's one up there!
0:51:52 > 0:51:54The others can't be far behind.
0:51:54 > 0:51:55- SLIM:- Just you watch.
0:51:55 > 0:51:59You're gonna like this. Yodelling's an art.
0:51:59 > 0:52:01Ahem.
0:52:01 > 0:52:03HE YODELS RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES
0:52:09 > 0:52:10Huh?
0:52:10 > 0:52:12HE YODELS
0:52:16 > 0:52:18Ha ha ha!
0:52:18 > 0:52:19What's the deal, Slimbo?
0:52:19 > 0:52:22Maybe she wasn't an art lover.
0:52:22 > 0:52:23Philistine!
0:52:23 > 0:52:26Shut up, you greenhorns!
0:52:26 > 0:52:29A bovine ain't been born that can resist my charms.
0:52:30 > 0:52:33Ahem.
0:52:33 > 0:52:35HE YODELS 1812 OVERTURE
0:52:39 > 0:52:41Watch your back, Uncle Slim!
0:52:41 > 0:52:42Got you!
0:52:42 > 0:52:45Where do you think you're going?
0:52:47 > 0:52:48Ooh!
0:52:48 > 0:52:50- Now, Jack!- OK!
0:52:50 > 0:52:52What in the rootin'-tootin' blazes is goin' on here?!
0:52:52 > 0:52:54Whoo-ha!
0:52:54 > 0:52:55SLIM GROANS
0:52:55 > 0:52:57BOTH: Uncle Slim! Uncle Slim!
0:52:57 > 0:52:59- GRACE:- Let's get outta here!
0:53:00 > 0:53:02Come back here, dog meat!
0:53:02 > 0:53:04- Jackpot!- We got him now!
0:53:04 > 0:53:05- Well done!- Watch out!
0:53:05 > 0:53:08It's Buck!
0:53:08 > 0:53:11Hey, Casey Jones, grab the bills and fire up the Getaway Express!
0:53:11 > 0:53:13BUCK SCREAMS
0:53:13 > 0:53:15JUNIOR SNORTS
0:53:15 > 0:53:16THEY MOO
0:53:16 > 0:53:17BOTH: Uncle Slim! Uncle Slim!
0:53:17 > 0:53:20I gave up clown college for this?
0:53:20 > 0:53:22- BUCK:- Aah! Aah! Ooh! Mama!
0:53:22 > 0:53:23Ooh.
0:53:23 > 0:53:25It's Slim! I got Slim!
0:53:25 > 0:53:27Rico's gonna be so proud of me!
0:53:27 > 0:53:29- HE SQUEALS - Thank you!
0:53:29 > 0:53:32Whoa! Whoa! Ooh! Leave me alone!
0:53:32 > 0:53:33Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
0:53:36 > 0:53:40BUCK SCREAMS
0:53:41 > 0:53:42JUNIOR SCREECHES
0:53:42 > 0:53:43Sorry.
0:53:43 > 0:53:45- Uncle Slim!- Uncle Slim!
0:53:45 > 0:53:46Quick, girls, in here!
0:53:49 > 0:53:50THEY SCREAM
0:53:50 > 0:53:51Hey!
0:53:54 > 0:53:55Huh?
0:53:57 > 0:53:59That was Rico!
0:54:01 > 0:54:03What in blue blazes?
0:54:08 > 0:54:12JUNIOR: I'll knock you into next Tuesday! Come back here!
0:54:12 > 0:54:14You're going down!
0:54:14 > 0:54:15Junior! Junior!
0:54:15 > 0:54:18- Oh! Whoa! - Junior!
0:54:18 > 0:54:20Junio-o-or! Whoo-hah!
0:54:20 > 0:54:22Get this off of me!
0:54:22 > 0:54:23Uncle Slim! Uncle Slim!
0:54:23 > 0:54:25THUMP
0:54:25 > 0:54:28Rico's saddle! I'm wearing Rico's saddle!
0:54:28 > 0:54:30NEIGHS
0:54:30 > 0:54:31Aah!
0:54:34 > 0:54:36Aaah!
0:54:36 > 0:54:38Uncle Slim!
0:54:39 > 0:54:40Surprise!
0:54:40 > 0:54:42Aah! Eee! Aah! Dang!
0:54:42 > 0:54:43SCREECH
0:54:43 > 0:54:44CLANGING
0:54:46 > 0:54:48SIZZLING
0:54:48 > 0:54:49SCREECH
0:54:53 > 0:54:57SCREAMING
0:54:57 > 0:54:59BOOMING
0:54:59 > 0:55:01SCREAMING
0:55:05 > 0:55:07MAGGIE: We made it, girls! We made it!
0:55:07 > 0:55:10Three cheers! Hip-hip-hooray!
0:55:10 > 0:55:11Ladies, we got company!
0:55:14 > 0:55:16CHUGGING
0:55:16 > 0:55:18Aaah! Aah!
0:55:18 > 0:55:20Whoa! Stop! Stop! Hit the brake!
0:55:20 > 0:55:22Look out!
0:55:22 > 0:55:24CRASHING
0:55:24 > 0:55:26CLATTERING
0:55:29 > 0:55:30SQUEAKING
0:55:30 > 0:55:31CLANGING
0:55:31 > 0:55:33BIRD CHIRPS
0:55:34 > 0:55:37SLIM SHOUTS
0:55:37 > 0:55:40Yaah! Dagnabit!
0:55:40 > 0:55:44I guess I gotta do everything around here myself!
0:55:44 > 0:55:46GRUNTS
0:55:48 > 0:55:49Call me crazy,
0:55:49 > 0:55:52but I think these cows got it in for me.
0:55:52 > 0:55:54Maybe they just don't like your singing.
0:55:54 > 0:55:56Shut up! Ahem.
0:55:56 > 0:56:00Mr Weaseley, my money, if you please.
0:56:00 > 0:56:01Heh heh heh.
0:56:01 > 0:56:03- I was just keeping it safe for you, Slim.- Sure you were.
0:56:03 > 0:56:07Protecting my investments is what I pay this fellow for.
0:56:07 > 0:56:08Mr Weaseley,
0:56:08 > 0:56:12let me present the most traitorous, double-crossin' gun for hire
0:56:12 > 0:56:13that I've ever had the pleasure
0:56:13 > 0:56:16to call partner - Rico.
0:56:16 > 0:56:18You're too kind, boss.
0:56:18 > 0:56:20No, it can't be.
0:56:20 > 0:56:23His reputation as a bounty hunter is well-known,
0:56:23 > 0:56:26but lately he's been doing a little moonlighting
0:56:26 > 0:56:28and covering my tracks.
0:56:28 > 0:56:30Rico's going to see you to the border,
0:56:30 > 0:56:34so that nothing else goes wrong.
0:56:35 > 0:56:36SCREECHING
0:56:36 > 0:56:38Now, if you'll all pardon me,
0:56:38 > 0:56:40there's a little Patch of Heaven
0:56:40 > 0:56:42on the auction block this morning.
0:56:42 > 0:56:46He's going to buy our farm!
0:56:46 > 0:56:50Adios! Yee-haw!
0:56:50 > 0:56:52I don't know how you got here, skittish,
0:56:52 > 0:56:54but stick with me and you may get to like
0:56:54 > 0:56:56the other side of the law.
0:56:56 > 0:56:59Get on there! Hyah!
0:56:59 > 0:57:00- WESLEY:- All right, come on!
0:57:00 > 0:57:02Move it, Bessie! Get in there!
0:57:02 > 0:57:04Hurry up! You don't want to be late
0:57:04 > 0:57:06for that big round-up in the sky!
0:57:08 > 0:57:11Hah! Skittish, whoa!
0:57:11 > 0:57:13Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
0:57:13 > 0:57:17Get in there! Come on, you stupid cows!
0:57:17 > 0:57:18Come on!
0:57:19 > 0:57:21THUD
0:57:21 > 0:57:24- WESLEY:- Lovely. Now get the engine fired up and let's make tracks.
0:57:28 > 0:57:30- BUCK:- Make a break for it, ladies! Run!
0:57:30 > 0:57:33Whoa! Hah! Skittish, whoa!
0:57:33 > 0:57:35Buck, have you gone crazy?!
0:57:35 > 0:57:38Now, that's entirely possible! Yo!
0:57:38 > 0:57:42Or maybe I just figured out who the real heroes are!
0:57:42 > 0:57:45Wait! What if this is some kind of trick?
0:57:45 > 0:57:47Whoo! Whassah!
0:57:47 > 0:57:51Ooh, this isn't a trick! It's a miracle! Come on!
0:57:52 > 0:57:55So you think you got the drop on me...
0:57:55 > 0:57:57well, think again! Hyah!
0:58:00 > 0:58:02Whassah!
0:58:06 > 0:58:09This is useless. Let's put our heads together.
0:58:09 > 0:58:11More brains and less brawn.
0:58:11 > 0:58:12All right!
0:58:19 > 0:58:22Ok, Caloway, fetch!
0:58:27 > 0:58:29- Kaboosh!- Hyah!
0:58:38 > 0:58:39Ha! Lucky shot!
0:58:40 > 0:58:41Mother of mercy.
0:58:41 > 0:58:42Is this the end of Rico?
0:58:46 > 0:58:49- BUCK:- Wow! Bravo!
0:58:49 > 0:58:51Bravo! You stopped Rico cold!
0:58:51 > 0:58:53Aw, shucks. T'weren't nothin'.
0:58:53 > 0:58:55Fat lot of good it done us.
0:58:55 > 0:58:58Alameda Slim has already flown the coop.
0:58:58 > 0:59:01She's right. Unless we sprout wings,
0:59:01 > 0:59:03we'll never make it back in time.
0:59:03 > 0:59:05I can't believe what I'm hearing.
0:59:05 > 0:59:08This train goes right by Patch of Heaven.
0:59:08 > 0:59:10What is in the cud you've been chewin'?
0:59:10 > 0:59:13How are we supposed to drive that thing?
0:59:13 > 0:59:16How? How? I'll tell you how!
0:59:16 > 0:59:19The same way we walked off the farm into the unknown.
0:59:19 > 0:59:23The same way we fought off those burly barmaids.
0:59:23 > 0:59:27And the same way we braved the western wilderness
0:59:27 > 0:59:30without the benefit of food or water.
0:59:30 > 0:59:35We caught Slim once, and we shall do it again!
0:59:35 > 0:59:36Who's with me?
0:59:38 > 0:59:42- BUCK:- Get out of here, you bulls! Head for the hills! Whoo!
0:59:48 > 0:59:50Unh!
0:59:50 > 0:59:52COWS LAUGH
0:59:52 > 0:59:54- Let's get it on!- Cows rule!
0:59:54 > 0:59:56BARRY: Howdy, darlin'! Down here!
0:59:56 > 0:59:59Yeah! Look...look down! Hello there!
0:59:59 > 1:00:00Oh, no!
1:00:00 > 1:00:02I got two words for you guys...
1:00:02 > 1:00:05cold shower!
1:00:05 > 1:00:07We don't have time for this nonsense!
1:00:07 > 1:00:08We have a farm to save!
1:00:08 > 1:00:09Well, maybe we can help you.
1:00:09 > 1:00:12Maybe we can help each... Oof!
1:00:12 > 1:00:14other!
1:00:14 > 1:00:16Bye! Come up and see us sometime!
1:00:16 > 1:00:17Grace!
1:00:27 > 1:00:30Oh, no! It's the Morning Express!
1:00:30 > 1:00:31There's a switch up ahead!
1:00:31 > 1:00:34Way ahead of you, pops! Hop on!
1:00:34 > 1:00:37Come on, mule! Let's ride!
1:00:39 > 1:00:41- LUCKY JACK:- Yee-haw!
1:00:41 > 1:00:42Ha! Ha!
1:00:49 > 1:00:50Whoa!
1:00:50 > 1:00:53Oh! Whoa! Whoa!
1:00:53 > 1:00:54Aah!
1:00:58 > 1:01:00Roadhogs!
1:01:02 > 1:01:04See you back at the farm, girls!
1:01:04 > 1:01:06Good luck!
1:01:06 > 1:01:08- LUCKY JACK: - This happens all the time.
1:01:08 > 1:01:09Sold!
1:01:09 > 1:01:11All property and livestock
1:01:11 > 1:01:13formerly known as Patch of Heaven
1:01:13 > 1:01:17is hereby sold to Mr Yancy O'Del.
1:01:17 > 1:01:19Pleasure doing business with you.
1:01:21 > 1:01:24O'Del's the name, foreclosure's the game.
1:01:24 > 1:01:27Well, just set yourself over yonder.
1:01:27 > 1:01:31Sign this deed and the property is all yours.
1:01:31 > 1:01:33- SLIM:- Much obliged, Sheriff.
1:01:33 > 1:01:35Ha ha ha!
1:01:35 > 1:01:39BELL RINGS
1:01:39 > 1:01:40- GRACE:- There it is!
1:01:40 > 1:01:42Home and hearth!
1:01:42 > 1:01:45And a holy hallelujah of a curve!
1:01:45 > 1:01:47- Oh, quick, the brakes! - No time for that!
1:01:47 > 1:01:48But won't we jump the tracks?
1:01:48 > 1:01:50We are makin' our own tracks!
1:01:50 > 1:01:51This is going to be messy!
1:01:58 > 1:02:02The whole territory belongs to me. Huh?
1:02:02 > 1:02:04Five cents for these chicks.
1:02:04 > 1:02:07Come on, now, do I hear two cents?
1:02:07 > 1:02:08Behind you! B-Behind you!
1:02:08 > 1:02:10Whoa! Whoa! Hold your britches!
1:02:10 > 1:02:11Come on, now!
1:02:11 > 1:02:13Whoa! Run for your lives!
1:02:17 > 1:02:18Watch yourself!
1:02:22 > 1:02:26What's the idea of crashing your train on my property?
1:02:26 > 1:02:28What? Uh...
1:02:28 > 1:02:30It can't be!
1:02:42 > 1:02:43DING
1:02:43 > 1:02:44RUMBLING
1:02:44 > 1:02:46Hold it right there!
1:02:46 > 1:02:50Piggies, it's time to open up a can of whoop-hide!
1:02:50 > 1:02:51Unh! Who the...
1:02:51 > 1:02:53Oof! Ow! Aah!
1:02:55 > 1:02:58Oh! Get away from there! Aah!
1:03:00 > 1:03:02Owww!
1:03:02 > 1:03:06Oh, come on! Ow! Oof!
1:03:06 > 1:03:10You wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts!
1:03:10 > 1:03:11Ow! Aah!
1:03:12 > 1:03:14Aaah!
1:03:19 > 1:03:23Whoa-oh-oh-oh!
1:03:23 > 1:03:24It's Alameda Slim!
1:03:24 > 1:03:26You think you've won?
1:03:26 > 1:03:30It ain't over till the fat man sings!
1:03:30 > 1:03:32HE YODELS
1:03:44 > 1:03:47Alameda Slim, you're under arrest.
1:03:47 > 1:03:48MUFFLED YELLS
1:03:48 > 1:03:51Nobody messes with Pearl's girls!
1:03:51 > 1:03:52Say, girls...got milk?
1:03:52 > 1:03:55- ALL: Buck! - Just kidding.
1:03:55 > 1:03:57Take him away, boys!
1:03:57 > 1:04:00Hope you like stripes.
1:04:00 > 1:04:03Pearl, your cows can't do much with Slim's reward money.
1:04:03 > 1:04:05Think you can find some use for it?
1:04:05 > 1:04:08Whoo-eee! My farm is saved!
1:04:08 > 1:04:10MOOING
1:04:16 > 1:04:18Where's Maggie?
1:04:27 > 1:04:30I can't believe she just left.
1:04:30 > 1:04:32I'm gonna miss her.
1:04:32 > 1:04:34So shall I, Grace.
1:04:34 > 1:04:36Her brash manner, her bullheadedness.
1:04:36 > 1:04:38She risked her life for us,
1:04:38 > 1:04:40and who are we but strangers?
1:04:40 > 1:04:42We were privileged to know her.
1:04:42 > 1:04:45She was a cow like no other!
1:04:45 > 1:04:49Right down to her appalling bodily eruptions.
1:04:49 > 1:04:51SHE BELCHES Ahh, that was good!
1:04:51 > 1:04:54- Maggie!- I was just having one for the road
1:04:54 > 1:04:56when I heard all the nice stuff
1:04:56 > 1:04:58you guys were saying about me.
1:04:58 > 1:05:01You know, maybe I could hang around a while.
1:05:01 > 1:05:03How about forever?
1:05:03 > 1:05:06Hmm. Well, it's your call, Caloway.
1:05:06 > 1:05:08Is this barnyard big enough for the both of us?
1:05:08 > 1:05:12Only if you let me wear the hat.
1:05:12 > 1:05:13Yee-haw!
1:05:13 > 1:05:16Come on, move your hides, girls.
1:05:16 > 1:05:18Last one to the barn sleeps standing up!
1:05:18 > 1:05:20Awww.
1:05:20 > 1:05:23Ok, everyone, big smiles!
1:05:24 > 1:05:26- LUCKY JACK: - "So it was that Alameda Slim,
1:05:26 > 1:05:28"the most notorious and feared cattle rustler
1:05:28 > 1:05:33"was apprehended and unmasked by three unusual dairy cows."
1:05:33 > 1:05:36Hey! Dagnabit, Jeb! How many times I got to tell you to wait your turn?
1:05:36 > 1:05:39How many times have I got to tell you to get out of my barrel...
1:05:39 > 1:05:41Dagnabit! You ornery ol'...
1:05:41 > 1:05:42SIGHS
1:05:42 > 1:05:45It's so nice that Jeb finally found a friend.
1:05:45 > 1:05:47Here they come, everybody!
1:05:47 > 1:05:49THEY ALL TALK AND LAUGH
1:05:58 > 1:05:59Well done!
1:05:59 > 1:06:00Ha ha ha!
1:06:00 > 1:06:03Well, hi ho, ladies!
1:06:03 > 1:06:06Hey, Barry, three queens, two kings, hmm?
1:06:06 > 1:06:08Full house.
1:06:08 > 1:06:11And the joker is wild.
1:06:11 > 1:06:13Oh, yeah.
1:06:13 > 1:06:15THEY TITTER
1:06:16 > 1:06:19# Darlin', I swear
1:06:19 > 1:06:21# Once you been there
1:06:21 > 1:06:23# There ain't a view beneath the blue
1:06:23 > 1:06:26# That could ever compare
1:06:26 > 1:06:28# The only thing missing
1:06:28 > 1:06:31# Is you as my guest
1:06:31 > 1:06:34# On a little patch of heaven way out west
1:06:34 > 1:06:37# Why don't you come visit?
1:06:37 > 1:06:40# There's room in the nest
1:06:40 > 1:06:42Yee-haw!
1:06:42 > 1:06:44# On that little patch of heaven
1:06:44 > 1:06:50# Way out west. #
1:06:53 > 1:06:55COCKEREL CROWS
1:06:56 > 1:06:59# La-la-la-la
1:06:59 > 1:07:01# La la-la laa
1:07:01 > 1:07:03# La-la-la-la
1:07:03 > 1:07:06# La la-la laa
1:07:06 > 1:07:11# When you're sad When you're feeling low
1:07:11 > 1:07:16# When you're hurt And don't know where to go
1:07:16 > 1:07:20# Think of me There I'll be
1:07:20 > 1:07:24# Any time you need a friend
1:07:26 > 1:07:30# When you're down And you're luck runs out
1:07:30 > 1:07:35# Or if you're in trouble or in doubt
1:07:35 > 1:07:38# It's OK
1:07:38 > 1:07:40# Turn my way
1:07:40 > 1:07:43# Any time you need a friend
1:07:44 > 1:07:49# When you're scared I will stay with you
1:07:49 > 1:07:54# When you feel you're fallin' I'll lift you
1:07:54 > 1:07:59# When your heart breaks I'll ease your aches
1:07:59 > 1:08:03# Whatever it takes, I'm in
1:08:03 > 1:08:07# Any time you need a friend. #