0:00:50 > 0:00:52MAN: 'Once upon a time,
0:00:52 > 0:00:55'in a kingdom far, far away,
0:00:55 > 0:00:57'the king and queen were blessed
0:00:57 > 0:00:59'with a beautiful baby girl.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03'And throughout the land, everyone was happy.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05'Until the sun went down, and they saw that
0:01:05 > 0:01:08'their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment
0:01:08 > 0:01:13'that took hold each and every night.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16'Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother,
0:01:16 > 0:01:19'who had them lock the young princess away in a tower,
0:01:19 > 0:01:22'there to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming.'
0:01:22 > 0:01:25HORSE WHINNIES
0:01:25 > 0:01:28'It was he who would chance the perilous journey
0:01:28 > 0:01:31'through blistering cold and scorching desert,
0:01:31 > 0:01:33'travelling for many days and nights,
0:01:33 > 0:01:39'risking life and limb to reach the dragon's keep.'
0:01:43 > 0:01:48For he was the bravest and most handsome...
0:01:50 > 0:01:53..in all the land.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55And it was destiny that his kiss...
0:01:57 > 0:01:59..would break the dreaded curse.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03He alone would climb to the highest room
0:02:03 > 0:02:05of the tallest tower,
0:02:05 > 0:02:09to enter the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette,
0:02:09 > 0:02:12pull back the gossamer curtains to find her...
0:02:12 > 0:02:15HE GASPS What?
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Princess...Fiona?
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- No.- Oh, thank heavens.
0:02:20 > 0:02:21Where is she?
0:02:21 > 0:02:25- She's on her honeymoon. - Honeymoon?! With whom?
0:02:25 > 0:02:28MOVIE PROJECTOR WHIRS
0:02:38 > 0:02:42PRINCESS FIONA GIGGLES # So, she said What's the problem, baby?
0:02:42 > 0:02:46- # What's the problem? I don't know Well, maybe I'm in love- Love
0:02:46 > 0:02:48# Think about it every time I think about it
0:02:48 > 0:02:50# Can't stop thinking 'bout it
0:02:50 > 0:02:53# How much longer will it take to cure this?
0:02:53 > 0:02:57# Just to cure it, cos I can't ignore it if it's love
0:02:57 > 0:02:59# Makes me wanna turn around and face me, but
0:02:59 > 0:03:03# I don't know nothing 'bout love, ah
0:03:03 > 0:03:06# Come on, come on Turn a little faster
0:03:06 > 0:03:10# Come on, come on The world will follow after
0:03:10 > 0:03:18# Come on, come on Everybody's after...love
0:03:20 > 0:03:23# So I said, I'm a snowball running
0:03:23 > 0:03:27# Running down into the spring that's coming
0:03:27 > 0:03:28# All this love Melting under blue skies
0:03:28 > 0:03:32# Belting out sunlight Shimmering love
0:03:32 > 0:03:36# Well, baby, I surrender to the strawberry ice cream
0:03:36 > 0:03:39# Never ever end of all this love
0:03:39 > 0:03:41# Well, I didn't mean to do it
0:03:41 > 0:03:44# But there's no escaping your love Aw
0:03:44 > 0:03:48# These lines of lightning
0:03:48 > 0:03:49# Mean we're never alone
0:03:49 > 0:03:51# Never alone, no, no... # MEN SHOUT
0:03:51 > 0:03:56# Come on, come on Jump a little higher
0:03:56 > 0:03:58# Come on, come on If you feel a little lighter
0:03:58 > 0:04:06# Come on, come on We were once upon a time in...love
0:04:07 > 0:04:09# We're accidentally in love
0:04:09 > 0:04:13# Accidentally in love
0:04:13 > 0:04:17# Accidentally in love BUBBLING
0:04:17 > 0:04:20# Accidentally in love BUBBLING
0:04:20 > 0:04:23# Accidentally in love
0:04:23 > 0:04:27# Accidentally in love
0:04:27 > 0:04:30# Accidentally I'm in love, I'm in love
0:04:30 > 0:04:34# I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love
0:04:34 > 0:04:37# Accidentally in love
0:04:37 > 0:04:42# I'm in love, oh-oh, I'm in love. # THEY SIGH
0:04:42 > 0:04:45It's so good to be home.
0:04:45 > 0:04:51DONKEY: # One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do... # Just you and me and...
0:04:51 > 0:04:54DONKEY SNIFFS
0:04:54 > 0:04:56# Two can be as bad as one... #
0:04:56 > 0:04:59- Donkey? - Shrek! Fiona!
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Well, aren't you two a sight for sore eyes!
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Give us a hug, Shrek. You old love machine!
0:05:04 > 0:05:06DONKEY LAUGHS And look at you, Mrs Shrek.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed?
0:05:08 > 0:05:11- Donkey, what are you doing here? - I was just taking care
0:05:11 > 0:05:14- of your love nest for you.- Oh, you mean, like, sorting the mail,
0:05:14 > 0:05:18- and watering the plants?- Yeah, and feeding the fish.
0:05:18 > 0:05:19I don't have any fish.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22You do now. I call that one Shrek, and the other Fiona.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24That Shrek is a rascally devil!
0:05:24 > 0:05:25MUMBLING
0:05:25 > 0:05:28Look at the time. I guess you'd better be going.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Don't you want to tell me all about the trip?
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Or how 'bout a game of Parcheesi? HE GROANS
0:05:32 > 0:05:35Donkey, shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon?
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Oh, yeah, that.
0:05:37 > 0:05:41I don't know, she's been all moody and stuff lately.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43So I thought I'd move back in with you guys.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Well, we're always happy to see you, Donkey...
0:05:46 > 0:05:48But Fiona and I are married now.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51We need a little time, you know, to be together.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Just with each other.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58Alone.
0:05:58 > 0:05:59Say no more, say no more.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01You don't have to worry about a thing.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05- I will always be here to make sure NOBODY bothers you.- Donkey.
0:06:05 > 0:06:06- Yes, roomie? - You're bothering me.
0:06:08 > 0:06:09Oh, OK. All right.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Cool, I guess, er,
0:06:11 > 0:06:13me and Pinocchio was just going to try
0:06:13 > 0:06:15to catch a tournament, anyway, so, er,
0:06:15 > 0:06:19maybe I'll see y'all Sunday for a barbecue or something.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22He'll be fine.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25Now, where were we?
0:06:25 > 0:06:27- Oh... - GIGGLING
0:06:27 > 0:06:28I think I remember.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31- GIGGLING - Donkey!
0:06:31 > 0:06:33I know, I know - alone.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35I'm going, I'm going.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Hey, but what about these other guys?
0:06:37 > 0:06:38CREAKING
0:06:38 > 0:06:41FANFARE
0:06:45 > 0:06:48PLAYS "HAWAII FIVE-O" THEME
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Enough, Reggie.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54- CLEARS THROAT - "Dearest Princess Fiona.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56"You are hereby
0:06:56 > 0:07:00"summoned to the kingdom of Far, Far Away
0:07:00 > 0:07:04"for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage,
0:07:04 > 0:07:09"at which time, the king will bestow his royal blessing
0:07:09 > 0:07:10"upon you and your..."
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Er... "..Prince Charming.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17"Love, the king and queen of Far, Far Away."
0:07:17 > 0:07:20AKA - Mom and Dad.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23- Mom and Dad? - Prince Charming?
0:07:23 > 0:07:26- Royal ball?! Can I come? - We're not going.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28- BOTH: What? - I mean, don't you think
0:07:28 > 0:07:32they might be a bit shocked to see you like this?
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Well, they might be a bit surprised,
0:07:34 > 0:07:36but they're my parents, Shrek.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39They love me. And don't worry,
0:07:39 > 0:07:40they're going to love you, too.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44Yeah, right. I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Will you stop it? They're not like that.
0:07:46 > 0:07:47Then how do you explain Sergeant Pompous
0:07:47 > 0:07:49and the Fancy Pants Club Band?
0:07:49 > 0:07:50Oh, come on.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53You could at least give them a chance.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Oh, to do what? Sharpen their pitchforks?
0:07:55 > 0:07:57No. They just want to give you their blessing.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Oh, great.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Now I need their blessing?
0:08:01 > 0:08:04Well, if you want to be a part of this family, yes.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06And who says I want to be part of this family?
0:08:06 > 0:08:09Uh, you did, when you married me.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Well, there's some fine print for you.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Oh, so that's it? You won't come?
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Trust me, it's a bad idea.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19We are not going, and that's final.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Hey, come on, Shrek! We don't want to hit traffic.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28- GINGERBREAD MAN:- Don't worry, we'll take care of everything.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31- CHEERING - Hey, wait for me.
0:08:31 > 0:08:32GRUNTS
0:08:32 > 0:08:34PLATES BREAKING, SHREK SIGHS
0:08:34 > 0:08:35- MUSIC PLAYING - Turn it up.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Throw your hands up, throw your hands up.
0:08:37 > 0:08:38Yeah...
0:08:38 > 0:08:39DONKEY: All right, hit it.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42# Move 'em on head 'em up Head 'em up move 'em on
0:08:42 > 0:08:44# Head 'em on, move 'em down Rawhide
0:08:44 > 0:08:45# Move 'em on head 'em up, head 'em up
0:08:45 > 0:08:47# Head 'em up, rawhide
0:08:47 > 0:08:49# Ride 'em up move 'em on...
0:08:49 > 0:08:50# Head 'em up, head 'em up
0:08:50 > 0:08:51# Move 'em on, rawhide
0:08:51 > 0:08:53# Knock 'em out count 'em dead
0:08:53 > 0:08:54# Make 'em tea buy 'em drinks
0:08:54 > 0:08:57# Meet their mamas milk 'em hard, rawhide! #
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Yee-ha!
0:08:59 > 0:09:03BIRDS CHIRPING
0:09:03 > 0:09:04DONKEY: Are we there yet?
0:09:04 > 0:09:05- SHREK:- No.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09THUNDER CRACKS
0:09:09 > 0:09:10Are we there yet?
0:09:10 > 0:09:12- FIONA:- Not yet.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16OK, are we there yet?
0:09:16 > 0:09:17No.
0:09:17 > 0:09:18Are we there yet?
0:09:18 > 0:09:19No!
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Are we there yet?
0:09:21 > 0:09:22- Yes.- Really?
0:09:22 > 0:09:25- No! - Are we there yet?- No!
0:09:25 > 0:09:26- Are we there yet?! - No, we are not!
0:09:26 > 0:09:28- Are we there yet?! - NO!
0:09:30 > 0:09:32BOTH: Are we there yet? Hey, that's not funny.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34BOTH: Hey, that's really immature.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37BOTH: See, this is why no-one likes ogres.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39BOTH: All right, your loss.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42- I'm going to just stop talking! - Finally!
0:09:42 > 0:09:43But this is taking forever, Shrek,
0:09:43 > 0:09:46and there ain't no in-flight movie or nothing.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49The kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey,
0:09:49 > 0:09:51that's where we're going.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Far, Far...
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Away.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58All right, all right, I get it.
0:09:58 > 0:09:59I'm just so darned bored.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Well, find a way to entertain yourself.
0:10:02 > 0:10:03HE SIGHS
0:10:08 > 0:10:09HE SIGHS
0:10:14 > 0:10:17HE POPS HIS LIPS
0:10:20 > 0:10:22POPS
0:10:22 > 0:10:26- GROANS - For five minutes,
0:10:26 > 0:10:28could you not be yourself?
0:10:28 > 0:10:31For five minutes!
0:10:35 > 0:10:37HE POPS, SHREK YELLS
0:10:37 > 0:10:38Are we there yet?!
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Yes.
0:10:40 > 0:10:41Oh, finally.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44TRIUMPHANT HORNS PLAY
0:10:48 > 0:10:53MUSIC: "Funkytown" by Lipps Inc
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Wow.
0:10:56 > 0:11:00It's going to be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Hey, good looking.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03We'll be back to pick you up later.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06Star maps! Get your star maps!
0:11:06 > 0:11:08# Gotta make a move to a town that's right for me #
0:11:10 > 0:11:11SHREK SIGHS
0:11:11 > 0:11:14We are definitely not in the swamp any more.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15WHISTLE BLOWING
0:11:15 > 0:11:17INDISTINCT TALKING
0:11:17 > 0:11:19# Well, I talk about it
0:11:19 > 0:11:23# Talk about it, talk about it, talk about it... #
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Ooh, look.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34MURMURING CROWD
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Hey, ladies. Nice day for a parade, huh?
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Yeah, you're working that hat.
0:11:48 > 0:11:52Swimming pools, movie stars.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00FANFARE
0:12:04 > 0:12:07CHEERING
0:12:12 > 0:12:15CHEERING
0:12:19 > 0:12:23HORNS PLAYING
0:12:25 > 0:12:28"Announcing the long-awaited return
0:12:28 > 0:12:33"of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband."
0:12:33 > 0:12:36Oh, well, this is it.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38- This is it. - This is it.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40- CHUCKLING:- This is it.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45FANFARE
0:12:45 > 0:12:47FANFARE STOPS
0:12:47 > 0:12:48GASPING
0:12:48 > 0:12:50TWEETING, THUD!
0:12:53 > 0:12:57BABY CRYING
0:13:00 > 0:13:03Uh...why don't you guys go ahead?
0:13:03 > 0:13:06I'll park the car. NEIGHING
0:13:06 > 0:13:09- So... - HE CHUCKLES
0:13:09 > 0:13:11You still think this was a good idea?
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Of course.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Look, Mom and Dad look happy to see us.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Who on earth are they?
0:13:19 > 0:13:21I think that's our little girl.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24That's not little, that's a really BIG problem.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming
0:13:26 > 0:13:27and break the spell?
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Well, he's no Prince Charming,
0:13:29 > 0:13:32- but they do look... - Happy now?
0:13:32 > 0:13:33We came, we saw them.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Now, let's go before they light the torches.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37They're my parents.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Hello - they locked you in a tower.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Hey, that was for my own...
0:13:42 > 0:13:45Good. Now here's our chance. Let's go inside and pretend we're not home!
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Harold, we have to be...
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Quick, we can make a run for it.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52Shrek, stop it. Everything's going to be...
0:13:52 > 0:13:54A disaster. There is no way...
0:13:54 > 0:13:55- You can do this. - But I really...
0:13:55 > 0:13:58- Really...- Really... - Don't...- Want...- To...- Be...
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Here.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Mom, Dad.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08I'd like you to meet my husband.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Shrek.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14Well, um...
0:14:14 > 0:14:18it's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20HE CHUCKLES
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Uh, eh...
0:14:22 > 0:14:24ELEGANT CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
0:14:24 > 0:14:26GULPS
0:14:41 > 0:14:43LOUD CRUNCH
0:14:45 > 0:14:47CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY
0:14:48 > 0:14:50QUIET SLURPING
0:14:50 > 0:14:52GULPS
0:14:52 > 0:14:53BELCHES
0:14:53 > 0:14:54- Excuse me. - LAUGHS
0:14:54 > 0:14:56SHREK CHUCKLES
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Better out than in, I always say, eh, Fiona?
0:14:58 > 0:15:01BOTH LAUGHING
0:15:01 > 0:15:03That's a good one.
0:15:03 > 0:15:04LAUGHTER WANES
0:15:04 > 0:15:06- I guess not.- What do you mean, not on the list? >
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Don't tell me you don't know who I am! >
0:15:09 > 0:15:10What's happening, everybody?
0:15:10 > 0:15:14Thanks for waiting. I had the hardest time finding this place.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16- No, no! Bad Donkey! Bad! Down! - No, no, no,
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Dad, Dad, it's all right, it's all right, he's with us.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21He helped rescue me from the dragon.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Yep, that's me - the noble steed.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Hey, waiter! How about a bowl for the steed?
0:15:25 > 0:15:26Oh, boy.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29SLURPS
0:15:29 > 0:15:31- Shrek? - Yeah? Oh. Sorry.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33- Great soup, Mrs Q. - CHUCKLES
0:15:33 > 0:15:35- Mmm...- No, no, no.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38- WHISPERS:- Darling.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40- Oh! - NERVOUS CHUCKLING
0:15:40 > 0:15:44So, Fiona, tell us about where you live.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Well...
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Shrek owns his own land.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51- NERVOUS LAUGH - Don't you, honey?
0:15:51 > 0:15:52- Oh. Yes. - NERVOUS LAUGH
0:15:52 > 0:15:54It's in an...enchanted forest,
0:15:54 > 0:15:57abundant in squirrels and...
0:15:57 > 0:15:59cute little duckies and...
0:15:59 > 0:16:00DONKEY: What?!
0:16:00 > 0:16:02LAUGHS I know you ain't talking about the swamp.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05- Donkey! - An ogre from a swamp!
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Oh, how original.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09Well, I suppose that would be a fine place
0:16:09 > 0:16:10to raise the children.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14COUGHING AND CHOKING
0:16:14 > 0:16:15GAGGING
0:16:15 > 0:16:17COUGHS AND EXHALES
0:16:17 > 0:16:20NERVOUS GASPING AND CHUCKLING
0:16:20 > 0:16:23I-It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it?
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Indeed. I just started eating.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27- Harold! - What's that supposed to mean?
0:16:27 > 0:16:30- Dad, it's great, OK? - Well, for his type, yes.
0:16:30 > 0:16:31My type?!
0:16:31 > 0:16:33I got to go to the bathroom.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Dinner is served!
0:16:35 > 0:16:36Never mind. I can hold it.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40ORCHESTRA PLAYING INTRO
0:16:40 > 0:16:42WALTZ PLAYING
0:16:42 > 0:16:43Bon appetit!
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Oh, Mexican food! My favourite!
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Let's not just sit here with our tummies rumbling. Everybody dig in!
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Don't mind if I do, Lillian.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52So, I suppose any grandchildren
0:16:52 > 0:16:54I could expect from you would be...?
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Ogres. Yes.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Oh, no! No, of course not!
0:17:01 > 0:17:04That is, assuming you don't eat your own young!
0:17:04 > 0:17:07- Dad!- Oh, no, we usually prefer the ones
0:17:07 > 0:17:09who've been locked away in a tower.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13- Shrek, please! - I did that because I love her!
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Daycare or dragon-guarded castle?
0:17:15 > 0:17:18You wouldn't understand - you're not her father!
0:17:22 > 0:17:26It's so nice to have the family together for dinner.
0:17:28 > 0:17:29BOTH GRUNT
0:17:29 > 0:17:31- LILLIAN:- Harold!
0:17:31 > 0:17:33- Shrek!- Fiona! - Fiona!- Mom!
0:17:33 > 0:17:35- Harold!- Donkey! - WALTZ ENDS
0:17:51 > 0:17:53SHE SIGHS
0:18:02 > 0:18:04SHE SIGHS
0:18:06 > 0:18:09CRICKETS CHIRPING
0:18:19 > 0:18:21SHE SIGHS
0:18:25 > 0:18:27SOFT POPPING
0:18:34 > 0:18:38# Your fallen tears have called to me
0:18:38 > 0:18:43# So here comes my sweet remedy
0:18:43 > 0:18:47# I know what every princess needs
0:18:47 > 0:18:52# For her to live life happily. #
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Oh! GASPS
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Oh, my dear! Oh, look at you.
0:18:57 > 0:18:58LAUGHS You're all, um...
0:18:59 > 0:19:01..grown-up. LAUGHS
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Um...who are you?
0:19:03 > 0:19:07Oh! Sweet pea, I'm your fairy godmother.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10- I have a fairy godmother?- Shush, shush. Now, don't worry.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13I'm here to make it all better.
0:19:13 > 0:19:17With just a...
0:19:17 > 0:19:19# Wave of my magic wand
0:19:19 > 0:19:20# Your troubles will soon be gone
0:19:20 > 0:19:22# With a flick of the wrist
0:19:22 > 0:19:24# In just a flash, you'll land a prince
0:19:24 > 0:19:26# With a ton of cash
0:19:26 > 0:19:27# A high-priced dress made by mice, no less
0:19:27 > 0:19:29# Some crystal glass pumps with no more stress
0:19:29 > 0:19:31# Worries will vanish, your soul will cleanse
0:19:31 > 0:19:33# Confide in your very own furniture friends
0:19:33 > 0:19:36# We'll help you start A new fashion trend
0:19:36 > 0:19:38# I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great
0:19:38 > 0:19:40# The kind of gal the prince would date
0:19:40 > 0:19:43# They'll write your name on the bathroom wall
0:19:43 > 0:19:45# "For a happy ever after, give Fiona a call"
0:19:45 > 0:19:47# A sporty carriage to ride in style
0:19:47 > 0:19:49# A sexy man, my chauffeur Kyle
0:19:49 > 0:19:50# Banish your blemishes, tooth decay
0:19:50 > 0:19:52# Cellulite thighs will fade away
0:19:52 > 0:19:55# Who will that be? a bichon frise
0:19:55 > 0:19:57# Nip and tuck, here and there, to land the prince
0:19:57 > 0:19:58# With the perfect hair
0:19:58 > 0:20:01# Lipstick, liner, shadow, blush, to get that prince
0:20:01 > 0:20:02# With a sexy tush
0:20:02 > 0:20:03# Lucky day, a buffet
0:20:03 > 0:20:05# You and your prince take a roll in the hay
0:20:05 > 0:20:06# You can swoon on the moon
0:20:06 > 0:20:07# With the prince to this tune
0:20:07 > 0:20:09# Don't get drab, you'll be fab
0:20:09 > 0:20:11# Your prince will have rock-hard abs
0:20:11 > 0:20:12# Quiche, souffle, Valentine's day, have some
0:20:12 > 0:20:14# Chicken fricassee, nip and tuck, here and there
0:20:14 > 0:20:15# To land the prince with perfect hair... #
0:20:15 > 0:20:16STOP!
0:20:16 > 0:20:17SHE PANTS
0:20:17 > 0:20:19- CHUCKLES - Look...
0:20:19 > 0:20:22Thank you very much, Fairy Godmother,
0:20:22 > 0:20:23but...
0:20:23 > 0:20:25I really don't need all this.
0:20:25 > 0:20:26LOUD GASPING AND MURMURING
0:20:26 > 0:20:29Fine, be that way.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31KNOCKING, DOG BARKING
0:20:31 > 0:20:32- SHREK:- Fiona? Fiona!
0:20:32 > 0:20:35GRUNTS, OTHERS GASP
0:20:35 > 0:20:37BARKING
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Oh, you got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo.
0:20:40 > 0:20:41Oh, er...
0:20:41 > 0:20:44- Fairy Godmother, furniture... - NERVOUS CHUCKLE
0:20:44 > 0:20:46..I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Your husband?! What?
0:20:48 > 0:20:50What'd you say? When did this happen?
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Shrek is the one who rescued me.
0:20:52 > 0:20:53But that can't be right!
0:20:53 > 0:20:54- SHREK:- Oh, great.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56More relatives.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58She's just trying to help.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Good. She can help us pack. Get your coat, we're leaving.
0:21:01 > 0:21:02- What? - Leaving? I don't want to leave.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05- When did you decide this? - Shortly after arriving.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- Look, I-I'm sorry.- No, no, no, that's all right.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10I need to go anyway.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12But remember, dear, if you should ever need me,
0:21:12 > 0:21:15happiness... is just a teardrop away.
0:21:15 > 0:21:19- SHREK:- Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need.
0:21:19 > 0:21:23- Happy, happy, happy! - So I see.
0:21:23 > 0:21:24Let's go, Kyle.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Very nice, Shrek.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31What? I told you coming here was a bad idea.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34You could've at least tried to get along with my father.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36You know, somehow, I don't think
0:21:36 > 0:21:38I was going to get daddy's blessing even if I did want it.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Well, do you think it might be nice
0:21:40 > 0:21:42if somebody asked me what I wanted?
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Sure. Do you want me to pack for you?
0:21:44 > 0:21:48You're unbelievable! You're behaving like a...
0:21:48 > 0:21:51- DOG BARKING, SHE SIGHS - Go on, say it.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53- Like an ogre! - Well, here's a newsflash.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Whether your parents like it or not,
0:21:55 > 0:21:58- I am an ogre! - BARKING
0:21:58 > 0:22:00VICIOUS ROAR
0:22:03 > 0:22:04And guess what, princess?
0:22:04 > 0:22:07That's not about to change.
0:22:07 > 0:22:08SOFT SIGH
0:22:11 > 0:22:14I've made changes for you, Shrek.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Think about that.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19That's real smooth, Shrek.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22IMITATES SHREK: I'm an ogre!
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Aaaargh!
0:22:30 > 0:22:32CRYING SOFTLY
0:22:36 > 0:22:38HE SIGHS
0:22:44 > 0:22:46CRICKETS CHIRPING
0:22:46 > 0:22:47I knew this would happen.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49- LILLIAN: - You should. You started it.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51I can hardly believe that, Lillian.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53I mean, really, he's the ogre, not me.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55I think, Harold, you're taking this
0:22:55 > 0:22:57a little too personally.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00This is Fiona's choice.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Yes, she was supposed to choose the prince we picked for her!
0:23:02 > 0:23:04I mean, you expect me to give my blessings
0:23:04 > 0:23:08- to this...this...thing? - Fiona does.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10And she'll never forgive you if you don't.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold.
0:23:14 > 0:23:15HE GROANS
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20Don't you remember when we were young,
0:23:20 > 0:23:22and, oh, we used to walk down by the lily pond,
0:23:22 > 0:23:24and they were in bloom?
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Our first kiss.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28It's not the same!
0:23:28 > 0:23:30I don't think you realise that our daughter
0:23:30 > 0:23:32has married a monster!
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Oh, stop being such a drama king.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39La, di-da, di-da, di-da, isn't it all wonderful.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41I'd like to know how it could get any worse.
0:23:41 > 0:23:42- Hello, Harold. - HE SCREAMS
0:23:42 > 0:23:45- What happened? - Uh, n-nothing, nothing, dear.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Just the old, er, hunting wound playing up a bit.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51FORCED CHUCKLE I'll, um... stretch out for a while.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54You better get in. We need to talk.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Actually, Fairy Godmother, just off to bed.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58FAKE YAWN Already taken my pills.
0:23:58 > 0:23:59They tend to make a bit drowsy.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01So, um, how about...
0:24:01 > 0:24:03we-we make this a quick visit, what, what?
0:24:03 > 0:24:04HAROLD GASPS
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Oh, h-hello.
0:24:06 > 0:24:07CHUCKLES
0:24:09 > 0:24:11So, what's new?
0:24:11 > 0:24:13You remember my son, Prince Charming?
0:24:13 > 0:24:15HAROLD: Charming! Ah! is that you?
0:24:15 > 0:24:17My gosh, it's been years.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Uh, when...when-when-when did you get back?
0:24:19 > 0:24:22Oh, about five minutes ago, actually.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25After I endured blistering winds,
0:24:25 > 0:24:27scorching desert, I climbed to the highest room
0:24:27 > 0:24:28in the tallest tower...
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Mummy can handle this.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33He endures blistering winds
0:24:33 > 0:24:35and scorching desert!
0:24:35 > 0:24:37He climbs to the highest bloody room
0:24:37 > 0:24:38of the tallest bloody tower...
0:24:38 > 0:24:40- But-but... - ..and what does he find?
0:24:40 > 0:24:43Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess...
0:24:43 > 0:24:44If I could just...
0:24:44 > 0:24:47- ..is already married! - It wasn't my fault.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50- He didn't get there in time. - Stop the car!
0:24:50 > 0:24:52- HAROLD GASPS - Harold...
0:24:52 > 0:24:55KNUCKLES CRACKING
0:24:55 > 0:24:56You've forced me to do something
0:24:56 > 0:24:58I really don't want to do.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00GASPS Where are we?
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Well, hi there, welcome. May I take your order?
0:25:03 > 0:25:06My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09Uh, OK. Two renaissance wraps, no mayo, chilli rings...
0:25:09 > 0:25:11I'll have the medieval meal.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Yeah, one medieval meal, and, Harold, curly fries?
0:25:14 > 0:25:18Uh, no. No, thank you. No, really, I'm fine.
0:25:18 > 0:25:19Your order, Fairy Godmother.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21And this comes with the medieval meal.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Here you are, dear.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28You see, we made a deal, Harold,
0:25:28 > 0:25:31and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part.
0:25:31 > 0:25:32SIGHS Indeed not.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36So Fiona and Charming WILL be together.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39- Yes.- Oh, believe me, Harold, it's what's best.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Not only for your daughter...
0:25:41 > 0:25:43CRUNCHING
0:25:43 > 0:25:45- WITH MOUTH FULL: - ..but for your kingdom.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52But what am I supposed to do about it?
0:25:52 > 0:25:53GRUNTS
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Use your imagination.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19HORSE NEIGHS
0:26:21 > 0:26:23HORSE HUFFING AND NEIGHING
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Oh.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Uh, come on in, Your Majesty.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36PIANO PLAYS TANGO-LIKE INTRO
0:26:39 > 0:26:42# I like my town
0:26:44 > 0:26:48# With a little drop of poison
0:26:48 > 0:26:50# Nobody knows... #
0:26:51 > 0:26:52BELCHES
0:26:52 > 0:26:54CLEARS THROAT Excuse me?
0:26:54 > 0:26:57- SEXY FEMININE VOICE: - Do I know you?
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Uh, no, you must be mistaking me for someone else.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Uh, excuse me? I-I-I'm looking
0:27:01 > 0:27:04for the ugly stepsister.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Ah.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08There you are. Right.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11Uh, you see, I-I need to have someone...
0:27:11 > 0:27:13..taken care of.
0:27:13 > 0:27:14- MANLY VOICE: - Who's the guy?
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Well, he-he's not a guy per se.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19WHISPERS: Um, he's...an ogre.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21PIANO MISPLAYS, CONVERSATION STOPS
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Hey, buddy, let me clue you in.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26There's only one fella can handle a job like that,
0:27:26 > 0:27:29and, frankly, he don't like to be disturbed.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31Mm, where could I find him?
0:27:31 > 0:27:33KNOCKING
0:27:33 > 0:27:36DOOR CREAKS H-Hello?
0:27:37 > 0:27:39- THICK SPANISH ACCENT: - Who dares enter my room?
0:27:39 > 0:27:41I-I hope I'm not interrupting,
0:27:41 > 0:27:43but I'm told you're the one to talk to
0:27:43 > 0:27:45about an... ogre problem?
0:27:45 > 0:27:47You're told correct.
0:27:47 > 0:27:51Hm, but for this, I charge a great deal of money.
0:27:51 > 0:27:55Would...this be enough?
0:27:55 > 0:27:58METAL CLANGS
0:27:58 > 0:27:59CHUCKLES SOFTLY
0:27:59 > 0:28:04You have engaged my valuable services, Your Majesty.
0:28:04 > 0:28:08Just tell me where I can find this ogre.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16SOFT SNORING
0:28:22 > 0:28:24CLOCK CHIMING
0:28:24 > 0:28:26# Everyone says
0:28:26 > 0:28:30# I'm getting down too low... #
0:28:30 > 0:28:32HE SIGHS
0:28:32 > 0:28:35# ..Everyone says
0:28:35 > 0:28:38# You just got to let it go
0:28:39 > 0:28:42# You just got to let it go
0:28:50 > 0:28:54# I need some sleep
0:28:54 > 0:28:56# Time to put the old horse down
0:28:58 > 0:29:00# I'm in too deep
0:29:00 > 0:29:04# And the wheels keep spinning 'round
0:29:04 > 0:29:08# Everyone says
0:29:08 > 0:29:10# You just got to let it go... #
0:29:12 > 0:29:14- FEMININE VOICE: - Dear knight, I pray that
0:29:14 > 0:29:17you take this favour as a token of my gratitude.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29MUSIC PLAYS, THEN STOPS
0:29:33 > 0:29:35MUSIC STARTS AND STOPS
0:29:38 > 0:29:40- FIONA:- "Dear diary,
0:29:40 > 0:29:43"Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow
0:29:43 > 0:29:44"but Dad says I can't go.
0:29:44 > 0:29:47"He never lets me out after sunset.
0:29:47 > 0:29:49"Dad says I'm going away for a while.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52"Must be like some finishing school or something.
0:29:52 > 0:29:55"Mom says that when I'm old enough,
0:29:55 > 0:29:58"my handsome Prince Charming will rescue me from my tower
0:29:58 > 0:30:00"and bring me back to my family,
0:30:00 > 0:30:03"and we'll all live happily ever after.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07- SLOWLY, SWEETLY: - "Mrs Fiona Charming.
0:30:08 > 0:30:10- MATTER-OF-FACTLY: - "Mrs Fiona Charming.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12- CASUALLY: - "Mrs Fiona Charming.
0:30:12 > 0:30:15- ECHOING: - "Mrs Fiona Charming,
0:30:15 > 0:30:17"Mrs Fiona Charming, Mrs Fiona Charming..."
0:30:17 > 0:30:20KNOCKING
0:30:23 > 0:30:26S-sorry. Uh, I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
0:30:26 > 0:30:29No, no, no. I was just reading a, er...
0:30:29 > 0:30:32a scary book.
0:30:32 > 0:30:34I was hoping you'd let me apologise
0:30:34 > 0:30:37for my despicable behaviour earlier.
0:30:37 > 0:30:39- OK.- I don't know what came over me.
0:30:39 > 0:30:41Do you suppose we could just pretend
0:30:41 > 0:30:43it never happened and start over?
0:30:43 > 0:30:44Look, Your Majesty...
0:30:44 > 0:30:46WHISPERS: Please, call me Dad.
0:30:46 > 0:30:50Dad. We both acted like ogres.
0:30:50 > 0:30:53Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other.
0:30:53 > 0:30:55Excellent idea.
0:30:55 > 0:30:57I was ACTUALLY hoping you might join me
0:30:57 > 0:30:59for a morning hunt, a little father-son time?
0:31:01 > 0:31:04I know it would mean the world to Fiona.
0:31:10 > 0:31:12HE SIGHS
0:31:12 > 0:31:16Shall we say... 7:30 by the old oak?
0:31:17 > 0:31:20BIRDS CHIRPING
0:31:21 > 0:31:24- SHREK:- Face it, Donkey, we're lost. - DONKEY: We can't be.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26We followed the king's instructions exactly.
0:31:26 > 0:31:28What did he say? "Head to the deepest,
0:31:28 > 0:31:29"darkest part of the woods.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32- "Pass the sinister trees with those scary branches."- Check.
0:31:32 > 0:31:34And there's that bush shaped like Shirley Bassey.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36We've passed that bush three times already!
0:31:36 > 0:31:39Hey, you said you didn't want to stop for directions.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42Oh, great! My one chance
0:31:42 > 0:31:43to fix things up with Fiona's dad,
0:31:43 > 0:31:45and I end up lost in the woods with you!
0:31:45 > 0:31:48All right, you don't have to get all huffy with me.
0:31:48 > 0:31:51I know! I know.
0:31:51 > 0:31:52SIGHS
0:31:52 > 0:31:55- I'm sorry, all right? - Hey, don't worry about it.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58I just really need to make things work with this guy.
0:31:58 > 0:32:00Yeah, sure. Now, let's go bond with Daddy.
0:32:00 > 0:32:01SOFT PURRING
0:32:04 > 0:32:06PURRING CONTINUES
0:32:08 > 0:32:11Well, well, well, Donkey,
0:32:11 > 0:32:13I know it was kind of a tender moment back there,
0:32:13 > 0:32:14but the purring?
0:32:14 > 0:32:16What are you talking about? I ain't purring.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18Oh, sure. What's next, a hug?
0:32:18 > 0:32:21Hey, Shrek, donkeys don't purr.
0:32:21 > 0:32:22Ha-ha!
0:32:22 > 0:32:24Fear me, if you dare.
0:32:24 > 0:32:25HISSES
0:32:25 > 0:32:28- Look - a little cat! - Look out, Shrek!
0:32:28 > 0:32:29It's a cat, Donkey.
0:32:29 > 0:32:31Come here, little kitty, kitty, kitty.
0:32:31 > 0:32:34Come on, little kitty, come here.
0:32:34 > 0:32:36Oh, come here, little kitty.
0:32:36 > 0:32:38CAT GROWLING
0:32:38 > 0:32:39SHREK SCREAMS, CAT SNARLS
0:32:39 > 0:32:41Oh! oh, come on! oh! get it off!
0:32:41 > 0:32:44Oh! Get it off!
0:32:44 > 0:32:46SHREK GROANS
0:32:46 > 0:32:47Ooh, no!
0:32:47 > 0:32:49SHREK SCREAMS
0:32:49 > 0:32:52- CRYING - Oh...get it off!
0:32:52 > 0:32:54GRUNTS
0:32:54 > 0:32:56GROANS Did I miss?
0:32:56 > 0:32:59No. You got them.
0:33:01 > 0:33:03Now, ye ogre,
0:33:03 > 0:33:06pray for mercy from...
0:33:07 > 0:33:10..Puss...in boots.
0:33:10 > 0:33:12Ooh...! I'll kill that cat!
0:33:12 > 0:33:13Ha!
0:33:13 > 0:33:16GAGGING
0:33:16 > 0:33:18LOUD COUGH
0:33:18 > 0:33:20WHEEZING AND RETCHING
0:33:21 > 0:33:23WHEEZING AND RETCHING CONTINUE
0:33:23 > 0:33:25RETCHING
0:33:25 > 0:33:27SPITTING UP
0:33:27 > 0:33:29COUGHING
0:33:29 > 0:33:31CHUCKLES Hair ball.
0:33:31 > 0:33:34Ugh! That is nasty!
0:33:34 > 0:33:35What do you reckon we should do with him?
0:33:35 > 0:33:38I say we take the sword and neuter him right here.
0:33:38 > 0:33:39Give him the Bob Barker treatment!
0:33:39 > 0:33:41Oh, my, no, por favor!
0:33:41 > 0:33:44Please, I implore you. It was nothing personal, senor.
0:33:44 > 0:33:46I was doing it only for my family.
0:33:46 > 0:33:49My mother, she's sick, and my father lives on the garbage.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51The king offered me much in gold, and I have little brothers...
0:33:51 > 0:33:53Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
0:33:53 > 0:33:56Fiona's father paid you to do this?
0:33:56 > 0:33:58The rich king? Si.
0:33:58 > 0:33:59MEOW
0:33:59 > 0:34:01SIGHS
0:34:01 > 0:34:04Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing.
0:34:04 > 0:34:06Oh, come on, Shrek, don't feel bad.
0:34:06 > 0:34:08Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you.
0:34:08 > 0:34:10Gee, thanks(!)
0:34:10 > 0:34:12SIGHS
0:34:12 > 0:34:14Maybe Fiona would have been better off
0:34:14 > 0:34:17if I were some sort of Prince Charming.
0:34:17 > 0:34:18Gee, that's what the king said.
0:34:19 > 0:34:23Oh, er, sorry. I thought that question was directed at me.
0:34:23 > 0:34:27Shrek, Fiona knows you'd do anything for her.
0:34:27 > 0:34:30Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could.
0:34:30 > 0:34:33I just... I just wish I could make her happy.
0:34:35 > 0:34:38Hold the phone.
0:34:38 > 0:34:41"Happiness.
0:34:41 > 0:34:44"A tear drop away."
0:34:44 > 0:34:46Donkey, think of the saddest thing
0:34:46 > 0:34:49- that's ever happened to you. - Oh, man, where do I begin?
0:34:49 > 0:34:52There was the time that farmer tried to sell me for magic beans.
0:34:52 > 0:34:54I ain't never got over that!
0:34:54 > 0:34:56Then this fool went off and had a party
0:34:56 > 0:34:58and he have all the guests try to pin the tail on me.
0:34:58 > 0:35:00Then they all got drunk
0:35:00 > 0:35:03and started beatin' me with a stick going, "Pinata, pinata!"
0:35:03 > 0:35:05No, Donkey, I need you to cry.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08Yeah, well, don't go projecting on me.
0:35:08 > 0:35:10I know you're feeling bad but...
0:35:10 > 0:35:12SCREAMS AND GROANS
0:35:12 > 0:35:15You little hairy lickin' sack of...
0:35:22 > 0:35:23What... Is it on? Is it on?
0:35:23 > 0:35:25CLEARS THROAT
0:35:25 > 0:35:27This is Fairy Godmother.
0:35:27 > 0:35:29I'm either away from my desk or with a client.
0:35:29 > 0:35:30But if you'd come by the office,
0:35:30 > 0:35:33we'll be glad to make you a personal appointment.
0:35:33 > 0:35:34Have a happy ever after.
0:35:37 > 0:35:41Oh...are you up for a little quest, Donkey?
0:35:41 > 0:35:43All right, that's more like it.
0:35:43 > 0:35:45Shrek and Donkey on another whirlwind adventure.
0:35:45 > 0:35:47# Ain't no stoppin' us now
0:35:47 > 0:35:49# Whoo, we're on the move. #
0:35:49 > 0:35:52- Stop, Ogre. I have misjudged you. - Join the club! We have jackets.
0:35:52 > 0:35:55On my honour, I am obliged to accompany you
0:35:55 > 0:35:58until I have saved your life as you have spared me mine.
0:35:58 > 0:36:01I'm sorry. The position of annoying talking animal
0:36:01 > 0:36:03has already been taken. Let's go, Shrek.
0:36:03 > 0:36:04Shrek?
0:36:13 > 0:36:14Shrek!
0:36:14 > 0:36:15Aw, come on, Donkey.
0:36:15 > 0:36:18Look at him in his wee little boots.
0:36:18 > 0:36:21You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly.
0:36:21 > 0:36:23- Aw, let's keep him. - Say what?
0:36:25 > 0:36:28- GROANS - Aw, listen, he's purring.
0:36:28 > 0:36:31- Oh, so now it's cute. - Aw, lighten up.
0:36:31 > 0:36:33Lighten up? Oh, I should lighten up.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35Looks who's telling who to lighten up.
0:36:38 > 0:36:41- GIGGLES - Shrek...
0:36:41 > 0:36:43BARKS
0:36:44 > 0:36:46Shrek?
0:36:56 > 0:36:58They're both festive, aren't they?
0:36:58 > 0:37:00What do you think, Harold?
0:37:00 > 0:37:03Um...yes, yes, fine. Fine.
0:37:03 > 0:37:04SIGHS
0:37:04 > 0:37:05Try to at least pretend
0:37:05 > 0:37:08that you're interested in your daughter's wedding ball.
0:37:08 > 0:37:11Honestly, Lillian, I don't think it really matters.
0:37:11 > 0:37:13How do we know there's even going to be a ball?
0:37:13 > 0:37:16- Mom, Dad. - Oh, hello, dear.
0:37:16 > 0:37:18Um...w-what's that, Cedric? Right. Coming.
0:37:18 > 0:37:22- Mom, have you seen Shrek? - I haven't.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24You should ask your father.
0:37:24 > 0:37:26Be sure and use small words, dear.
0:37:26 > 0:37:27He's a little slow this morning.
0:37:27 > 0:37:30Can I help you, Your Majesty?
0:37:30 > 0:37:31Ah, yes. Um...
0:37:31 > 0:37:34Mm...exquisite. What do you call this dish?
0:37:34 > 0:37:37That would be the dog's breakfast, Your Majesty.
0:37:37 > 0:37:41Ah, yes. Very good, then. Carry on, Cedric.
0:37:41 > 0:37:42Dad...
0:37:42 > 0:37:44Dad, have you seen Shrek?
0:37:44 > 0:37:46Uh, no, I haven't, dear. I-I'm sure he just went off
0:37:46 > 0:37:48to look for a nice mud hole to cool down in.
0:37:48 > 0:37:51You know, after your little spat last night.
0:37:51 > 0:37:52Oh, you heard that, huh?
0:37:52 > 0:37:55Darling, the whole kingdom heard you.
0:37:55 > 0:37:58I mean, after all, it is in his nature to be,
0:37:58 > 0:37:59well, a bit of a brute.
0:37:59 > 0:38:02Him? You know, you didn't exactly roll out the welcome wagon.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04Well, what did you expect?
0:38:04 > 0:38:06Look at what he's done to you?
0:38:06 > 0:38:10Shrek loves me for who I am.
0:38:10 > 0:38:12I would think you'd be happy for me.
0:38:12 > 0:38:16Darling, I'm just thinking about what's best for you.
0:38:16 > 0:38:18Maybe you should do the same.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26PUSS-IN-BOOTS WHISPERS
0:38:32 > 0:38:34No. Really?
0:38:34 > 0:38:37LAUGHING
0:38:39 > 0:38:41Whoa...
0:38:43 > 0:38:45FACTORY WHISTLE BLOWS
0:38:45 > 0:38:47Oh, that's the Old Keebler place.
0:38:47 > 0:38:48Let's just back away slowly.
0:38:48 > 0:38:50That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage.
0:38:50 > 0:38:54She's the largest producer of hexes and potions in the whole kingdom.
0:38:54 > 0:38:56Then why don't we pop in there for a spell?
0:38:56 > 0:38:57- CHUCKLES - Spell!
0:38:57 > 0:39:02PUSS-IN-BOOTS LAUGHS LOUDLY
0:39:02 > 0:39:04Makes me laugh.
0:39:07 > 0:39:09Hi.
0:39:09 > 0:39:11I'm here to see the...
0:39:11 > 0:39:13Fairy Godmother.
0:39:13 > 0:39:14I'm sorry, she's not in.
0:39:14 > 0:39:17- OVER INTERCOM:- Jerome, coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now!
0:39:17 > 0:39:18HE SIGHS
0:39:18 > 0:39:22Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away.
0:39:22 > 0:39:24Look, she's not seeing any client today, OK?
0:39:24 > 0:39:26That's OK, buddy. We're from the union.
0:39:26 > 0:39:27The union?
0:39:27 > 0:39:30We represent the workers in all magical industries
0:39:30 > 0:39:33- both evil and benign. - Oh...right.
0:39:33 > 0:39:36Are you feeling at all degraded or repressed?
0:39:36 > 0:39:39Uh...a little. We don't even have dental.
0:39:39 > 0:39:42They don't even have dental.
0:39:42 > 0:39:44OK, we're just going to have a look around.
0:39:44 > 0:39:46Oh, by the way, I think it'd be better
0:39:46 > 0:39:49if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here.
0:39:49 > 0:39:50Know what I'm sayin'? Huh?
0:39:50 > 0:39:53- Mmm?- Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?- Stop it.
0:39:53 > 0:39:55Of course. Go right in.
0:39:55 > 0:39:58GRATING AND RUMBLING
0:40:16 > 0:40:18SOFT EXPLOSION
0:40:23 > 0:40:26- GODMOTHER:- Drop of desire.
0:40:26 > 0:40:28- GIGGLING - Oh, dear.
0:40:28 > 0:40:30A pinch of passion.
0:40:30 > 0:40:34LAUGHING
0:40:34 > 0:40:38And just a hint of...
0:40:38 > 0:40:39lust.
0:40:42 > 0:40:44- Excuse me. - SHE GASPS
0:40:44 > 0:40:45Sorry to barge in like this, but, er...
0:40:45 > 0:40:49What in Grimm's name are you doing here?
0:40:49 > 0:40:53Well, it seems that Fiona's not exactly happy.
0:40:53 > 0:40:57Oh...and there's some question as to why that is?
0:40:57 > 0:41:00Well, let's explore that, shall we?
0:41:02 > 0:41:04Ah, P-P-P-P-P.
0:41:04 > 0:41:06Princess. "Cinderella."
0:41:06 > 0:41:08Here we are. "Lived happily ever after."
0:41:08 > 0:41:11Oh... No ogres.
0:41:11 > 0:41:13Let's see, "Snow White."
0:41:13 > 0:41:15"A handsome prince..."
0:41:15 > 0:41:16Oh, no ogres.
0:41:16 > 0:41:18"Sleeping Beauty." Oh...no ogres.
0:41:18 > 0:41:21"Hansel and Gretel"? No.
0:41:21 > 0:41:23"Thumbelina"? No.
0:41:23 > 0:41:24"Pretty Woman"?
0:41:24 > 0:41:27No, no, no, no, no!
0:41:27 > 0:41:31You see, ogres don't live happily ever after.
0:41:31 > 0:41:33All right, look, lady...
0:41:33 > 0:41:36Don't you point those dirty green sausages at me.
0:41:39 > 0:41:42Monte Cristo and co... Oh. Sorry.
0:41:42 > 0:41:44Oh, that's OK.
0:41:44 > 0:41:45We were just leaving.
0:41:45 > 0:41:48Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother.
0:41:48 > 0:41:50Just...go.
0:41:50 > 0:41:52Come on, guys.
0:41:55 > 0:41:59WHISTLING
0:42:00 > 0:42:02GROANS
0:42:06 > 0:42:09TGIF, hey, buddy?
0:42:11 > 0:42:14Working hard or hardly working, eh, Mac?
0:42:20 > 0:42:22Oh!
0:42:22 > 0:42:26Get your fine Corinthian footwear and your cat cheeks out of my face!
0:42:26 > 0:42:30Well, you don't exactly smell like a basket of roses.
0:42:32 > 0:42:35Well, one of these has got to help.
0:42:35 > 0:42:37Ah, I was just concocting this very plan.
0:42:37 > 0:42:40Already our minds are becoming one.
0:42:40 > 0:42:41Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, now.
0:42:41 > 0:42:43If we need an expert on licking ourselves,
0:42:43 > 0:42:47we'll give you a call. Shrek, this is a bad idea.
0:42:47 > 0:42:50Look, make yourself useful and go keep watch.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53Puss, do you think you could get to those on top?
0:42:53 > 0:42:56No problema, boss. In one of my nine lives,
0:42:56 > 0:42:58I was the great cat burglar of Santiago de Compostela.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01LAUGHS Shrek, are you off your nut?
0:43:01 > 0:43:03Donkey, keep watch.
0:43:03 > 0:43:06Yeah, I'm going to keep watch. I'm going to watch that wicked
0:43:06 > 0:43:08witch whammy-zammy a world of hurt up your backside.
0:43:08 > 0:43:11I'm going to laugh, too, but you know, I'll be giggling to myself.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14- What do you see? - Toad stool softener.
0:43:14 > 0:43:16Oh, yeah, you're right. I'm sure a nice BM
0:43:16 > 0:43:18is the perfect solution for marital problems.
0:43:18 > 0:43:20- Alfa seltzer?- Uh-uh. - Hex lax?
0:43:20 > 0:43:23No. Try "handsome."
0:43:23 > 0:43:26Sorry, no "handsome."
0:43:26 > 0:43:30Hey, how about "happily ever after"?
0:43:30 > 0:43:32Well, what does it do?
0:43:32 > 0:43:36- It says, "beauty divine." - You know, in some cultures,
0:43:36 > 0:43:39Donkeys are revered as the wisest of all creatures,
0:43:39 > 0:43:41especially us talking ones.
0:43:41 > 0:43:42Donkey!
0:43:44 > 0:43:47That'll have to do. We've got company.
0:43:53 > 0:43:55Could we get on with this?
0:43:55 > 0:43:57CLANKING
0:43:57 > 0:43:59Hurry!
0:44:07 > 0:44:09Nice catch, Donkey.
0:44:09 > 0:44:13Finally, a use for your mouth.
0:44:13 > 0:44:15ALARM BLARING
0:44:15 > 0:44:18Come on!
0:44:21 > 0:44:24# You spurn my natural emotions
0:44:24 > 0:44:26# You make me feel like dirt
0:44:26 > 0:44:28# And I'm hurt
0:44:32 > 0:44:34# And if I start a commotion
0:44:34 > 0:44:37# I run the risk of losing you
0:44:37 > 0:44:38# And that's worse... #
0:44:38 > 0:44:41SCREAMING AND LAUGHING
0:44:41 > 0:44:44# ..Ever fallen in love with someone
0:44:44 > 0:44:46# Ever fallen in love, in love with someone
0:44:46 > 0:44:48# Ever fallen in love with someone
0:44:48 > 0:44:51# You shouldn't've fallen in love with... #
0:44:55 > 0:44:57SCREAMING
0:44:57 > 0:44:59# ..Ever fallen in love with someone
0:44:59 > 0:45:01# Ever fallen in
0:45:01 > 0:45:03# Ever fallen in love, with someone
0:45:03 > 0:45:06# You shouldn't've fallen in love with?
0:45:06 > 0:45:09# Fallen in love with
0:45:09 > 0:45:12# Ever fallen in love with someone
0:45:12 > 0:45:15# You shouldn't've fallen in love with? #
0:45:15 > 0:45:17- GODMOTHER:- Look, I don't care whose fault it is.
0:45:17 > 0:45:19Just get this place cleaned up.
0:45:19 > 0:45:22And somebody bring me something
0:45:22 > 0:45:25deep-fried and smothered in chocolate.
0:45:25 > 0:45:26Mother.
0:45:26 > 0:45:28Charming, sweetheart.
0:45:28 > 0:45:30Well, this isn't a good time, pumpkin.
0:45:30 > 0:45:34- Mama's working. - Well, what happened here?
0:45:34 > 0:45:37- The ogre, that's what. - What? Where is he, Mom?
0:45:37 > 0:45:40I shall rend his head from his shoulders.
0:45:40 > 0:45:42I will smite him where he stands.
0:45:42 > 0:45:46He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me!
0:45:46 > 0:45:50Oh, put it away, junior. You're still going to be king.
0:45:50 > 0:45:53We're just going to have to come up with something smarter.
0:45:53 > 0:45:55Pardon. Um,
0:45:55 > 0:45:57everything is accounted for, Fairy Godmother,
0:45:57 > 0:45:59except for one potion.
0:45:59 > 0:46:01What?
0:46:01 > 0:46:02Oh...
0:46:02 > 0:46:05I do believe we can make this work to our advantage.
0:46:07 > 0:46:09Happily ever after potion.
0:46:09 > 0:46:11Maximum strength.
0:46:11 > 0:46:14"For you and your true love.
0:46:14 > 0:46:16"If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine.
0:46:16 > 0:46:19"Happiness, comfort and beauty divine."
0:46:19 > 0:46:21"You both will be fine"?
0:46:21 > 0:46:23I guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too.
0:46:23 > 0:46:25Hey, man, this don't feel right.
0:46:25 > 0:46:27My Donkey senses are tingling all over,
0:46:27 > 0:46:29so why don't you just drop that jug of voodoo
0:46:29 > 0:46:32- and let's get out of here. - It says "beauty divine."
0:46:32 > 0:46:33How bad can it be?
0:46:33 > 0:46:35SNIFFS, SNEEZES
0:46:35 > 0:46:38Ah-ha, see? you're allergic to that stuff. You're going to have a reaction.
0:46:38 > 0:46:41And if you think that I'm going to be smearing Vaporub
0:46:41 > 0:46:43all over your chest, think again.
0:46:43 > 0:46:46Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion,
0:46:46 > 0:46:48allow me to take the first sip.
0:46:48 > 0:46:51It would be an honour to lay my life on the line for you.
0:46:51 > 0:46:53Oh, no, no, no. I don't think so.
0:46:53 > 0:46:56If there's any animal testing, I'm going to do it.
0:46:56 > 0:46:59That's the best friend's job. Now, give me that bottle.
0:46:59 > 0:47:02GULPING
0:47:02 > 0:47:04SMACKING LIPS
0:47:04 > 0:47:05How do you feel?
0:47:05 > 0:47:08Uh, I don't feel any different.
0:47:08 > 0:47:12- I look any different?- You still look like an ass to me.
0:47:12 > 0:47:15Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys.
0:47:15 > 0:47:18Well...
0:47:18 > 0:47:19Here's to us, Fiona.
0:47:19 > 0:47:23- Shrek, you drink that, there's no going back.- I know.
0:47:23 > 0:47:24But no more wallowing in the mud?
0:47:24 > 0:47:27- I know. - But you love being an ogre.
0:47:27 > 0:47:30I know! SIGHS
0:47:33 > 0:47:34- But I love Fiona more. - Shrek, no!
0:47:36 > 0:47:37Wait!
0:47:38 > 0:47:40SWALLOWS
0:47:40 > 0:47:44BUBBLING
0:47:47 > 0:47:48PASSES GAS
0:47:48 > 0:47:50SNIFFING Ooh, oh, got to be.
0:47:50 > 0:47:53Shrek, I think you grabbed a farty-ever-after potion.
0:47:53 > 0:47:55Maybe it's a dud?
0:47:55 > 0:47:58Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be.
0:47:58 > 0:48:00THUNDER RUMBLES
0:48:01 > 0:48:04Uh-oh, what did I tell you? I feel something coming on.
0:48:04 > 0:48:07I don't want to die! I don't want to die!
0:48:07 > 0:48:09THUNDER CRASHING I don't want to die.
0:48:09 > 0:48:11Please, sister mother of mercy, I'm melting.
0:48:11 > 0:48:13I'm melting!
0:48:13 > 0:48:16It's just the rain, Donkey.
0:48:16 > 0:48:17Oh...
0:48:17 > 0:48:20CHUCKLES
0:48:30 > 0:48:33THUNDER RUMBLING
0:48:59 > 0:49:00Shrek, don't worry.
0:49:00 > 0:49:02Things just seem bad cos it's dark and rainy
0:49:02 > 0:49:05and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hit man to whack you.
0:49:05 > 0:49:06HISSES
0:49:06 > 0:49:09It'll be better in the morning. You'll see.
0:49:09 > 0:49:14# The sun'll come out... tomorrow... #
0:49:14 > 0:49:16SLURRING: # ..Bet your bottom... #
0:49:16 > 0:49:18Bet my bottom?
0:49:18 > 0:49:19I'm coming, Elizabeth.
0:49:19 > 0:49:20Donkey?
0:49:20 > 0:49:23Are...are you all right?
0:49:23 > 0:49:25Hey, boss, let's shave him.
0:49:25 > 0:49:27Don-Donkey...
0:49:27 > 0:49:30GROANS
0:49:30 > 0:49:33LOUD MEOW
0:49:36 > 0:49:40There you are. We missed you at dinner.
0:49:40 > 0:49:42What is it, darling?
0:49:42 > 0:49:46Dad, I've been thinking about what you said
0:49:46 > 0:49:48and I'm going to set things right.
0:49:48 > 0:49:51Ah, excellent. That's my girl.
0:49:51 > 0:49:53It was a mistake to bring Shrek here.
0:49:53 > 0:49:56I'm going to go out and find him.
0:49:56 > 0:49:59And then we're going to go back to the swamp where we belong.
0:50:02 > 0:50:04Fiona, please...
0:50:04 > 0:50:06Uh, let's not be rash, darling.
0:50:06 > 0:50:07You can't go anywhere right now.
0:50:10 > 0:50:11- Fiona!- Fiona!
0:50:51 > 0:50:53WOMEN SIMPER I told you he was here. Look, look.
0:50:53 > 0:50:55Shh... Quiet, it's...
0:50:55 > 0:50:57SHREK GROANING
0:50:57 > 0:50:59Good morning, sleepy head. SHREK GASPING
0:50:59 > 0:51:01- Good morning.- Good morning.
0:51:01 > 0:51:04- We love your kitty. - Oh, my head.
0:51:04 > 0:51:06Here, I fetched you a pail of water.
0:51:06 > 0:51:09- Oh, thanks. - GASPS
0:51:11 > 0:51:12YELLS
0:51:12 > 0:51:15Oh...
0:51:15 > 0:51:17A cute button nose?
0:51:17 > 0:51:20Thick wavy locks?
0:51:20 > 0:51:22Taut round buttocks?
0:51:22 > 0:51:25I'm... I'm...
0:51:25 > 0:51:28- Gorgeous.- I'll say.- I'm Jill. What's your name?
0:51:28 > 0:51:30- Um, Shrek. - Shrek? Wow.
0:51:30 > 0:51:33- Are you from Europe? - Uh...
0:51:33 > 0:51:34I want to rub his shoulders.
0:51:34 > 0:51:36- I got it covered.- Thanks. - I don't have anything to rub.
0:51:36 > 0:51:38Well, get in line.
0:51:38 > 0:51:41H-have you ladies seen my donkey?
0:51:41 > 0:51:43DONKEY: Who are you calling Donkey?
0:51:43 > 0:51:44Donkey, you're a...
0:51:44 > 0:51:46A stallion, baby.
0:51:46 > 0:51:48I can whinny. WHINNIES
0:51:48 > 0:51:49I can count.
0:51:49 > 0:51:53Look at me, Shrek. I'm trotting.
0:51:53 > 0:51:54That's some quality potion.
0:51:54 > 0:51:56What's in that stuff?
0:51:56 > 0:51:59Uh-oh, don't take the potion, Mr Boss, it's very bad.
0:51:59 > 0:52:00SPITS
0:52:00 > 0:52:03"WARNING: side effects may include burning, itching,
0:52:03 > 0:52:04"oozing, weeping.
0:52:04 > 0:52:06"Not intended for heart patients
0:52:06 > 0:52:08"or those with nervous disorders."
0:52:08 > 0:52:12I'm trotting, I'm trotting, I'm trotting in place. Yeah!
0:52:12 > 0:52:14What?
0:52:14 > 0:52:17Senor, "To make the effects of this potion permanent
0:52:17 > 0:52:20"the drinker must obtain his true love's kiss
0:52:20 > 0:52:22- "by midnight." - Midnight?
0:52:22 > 0:52:24Why is it always midnight?
0:52:24 > 0:52:26- Oh, pick me. I'll be your true love. - I'll be your true love.
0:52:26 > 0:52:29I'll be true... enough.
0:52:29 > 0:52:30NERVOUS CHUCKLE
0:52:30 > 0:52:32Look, ladies, I already have a true love.
0:52:32 > 0:52:34ALL GROAN
0:52:34 > 0:52:35Take it from me, boss,
0:52:35 > 0:52:37you're going to have one satisfied princess.
0:52:37 > 0:52:40DONKEY: Let's face it, you are a lot easier on the eyes.
0:52:40 > 0:52:43But inside you're still the same ol' mean, salty...
0:52:43 > 0:52:45Easy. All right, then.
0:52:45 > 0:52:47..foul, angry ogre you always been.
0:52:47 > 0:52:50- And you're still the same annoying Donkey.- Yeah.
0:52:50 > 0:52:51SIGHS
0:52:51 > 0:52:53Well...
0:52:53 > 0:52:56look out, princess, here comes the new me.
0:52:56 > 0:52:59DONKEY: Uh, first things first.
0:52:59 > 0:53:00We need to get you out of those clothes.
0:53:00 > 0:53:02ALL GASP
0:53:05 > 0:53:07- Ready? - BOTH: Ready!
0:53:10 > 0:53:11YELLING
0:53:11 > 0:53:12Driver, stop!
0:53:12 > 0:53:14DONKEY: Oh, God! Help me, please!
0:53:14 > 0:53:15My racing days are over!
0:53:15 > 0:53:17I'm blind! Tell the truth.
0:53:17 > 0:53:19Will I ever be able to play the violin again?
0:53:19 > 0:53:20Oh, you poor creature!
0:53:20 > 0:53:23Is there anything I can do for you?
0:53:23 > 0:53:25Well, I guess there is one thing.
0:53:25 > 0:53:28Take off the powdered wig, and step away from your drawers.
0:53:31 > 0:53:33Not bad.
0:53:33 > 0:53:34Not bad at all.
0:53:36 > 0:53:41LAUGHING
0:53:41 > 0:53:43- MAN:- Father?
0:53:43 > 0:53:45Is everything all right, Father?
0:53:50 > 0:53:51Thank you, gentlemen.
0:53:51 > 0:53:54Some day, I will repay you.
0:53:54 > 0:53:56Unless, of course, I can't find you or if I forget.
0:53:56 > 0:53:58DONKEY NEIGHS
0:53:58 > 0:54:01PUSS CURSES IN SPANISH
0:54:05 > 0:54:07POUNDING PIANO CHORDS PLAY
0:54:07 > 0:54:09HONKING HORNS PLAY RIFF
0:54:09 > 0:54:10MURMURING
0:54:13 > 0:54:15# Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!
0:54:15 > 0:54:19# Turn and face the strange ch-ch-changes
0:54:19 > 0:54:22# Don't want to be a richer one
0:54:22 > 0:54:24# Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!
0:54:24 > 0:54:28# Turn and face the strange ch-ch-changes
0:54:28 > 0:54:31# Just gonna have to be a different man
0:54:31 > 0:54:34# Time may change me
0:54:34 > 0:54:37# But I can't trace time... #
0:54:39 > 0:54:40- Halt! - Tell Princess Fiona
0:54:40 > 0:54:43her husband, Sir Shrek, is here to see her.
0:54:47 > 0:54:51# Still don't know what I was looking for
0:54:51 > 0:54:53# And my time was running wild
0:54:54 > 0:54:56# A million dead-end streets
0:54:56 > 0:54:59# Every time I thought I'd got it made
0:54:59 > 0:55:01# It seemed the taste was not so sweet
0:55:01 > 0:55:03# Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!
0:55:03 > 0:55:04SCREAMS
0:55:04 > 0:55:07- # Turn and face the strange... # - Fiona!- Shrek?
0:55:07 > 0:55:08# Ch-ch-changes
0:55:08 > 0:55:10# Don't want to be a richer one
0:55:10 > 0:55:12Shrek!
0:55:12 > 0:55:13# Time may change me
0:55:13 > 0:55:15# But I can't trace time. #
0:55:15 > 0:55:17Fiona!
0:55:20 > 0:55:22Hello, handsome.
0:55:23 > 0:55:25Shrek!
0:55:25 > 0:55:26Princess!
0:55:26 > 0:55:28- GASPS - Donkey?
0:55:28 > 0:55:30Wow, that potion worked on you, too, huh?
0:55:30 > 0:55:33- What potion?- Oh, it's kind of a long story,
0:55:33 > 0:55:35but, see, Shrek and I took some magic potion.
0:55:35 > 0:55:37And well, now, we're sexy!
0:55:38 > 0:55:40Shrek?
0:55:43 > 0:55:46For you, baby, I could be.
0:55:46 > 0:55:49- Yeah, you wish. - Donkey, where is Shrek?
0:55:49 > 0:55:51He just went inside looking for you.
0:55:52 > 0:55:54Shrek!
0:55:54 > 0:55:57Fiona! Fiona!
0:55:59 > 0:56:01You want to dance, pretty boy?
0:56:03 > 0:56:08Are you going so soon? Well, don't you want to see your wife?
0:56:08 > 0:56:10CHARMING: Fiona?
0:56:10 > 0:56:12GASPS
0:56:12 > 0:56:13Shrek?
0:56:13 > 0:56:16Aye, Fiona, it is me.
0:56:16 > 0:56:17What happened to your voice?
0:56:17 > 0:56:21Oh, the potion changed a lot of things, Fiona.
0:56:21 > 0:56:24But not the way I feel about you.
0:56:24 > 0:56:25Fiona?
0:56:25 > 0:56:28Charming?
0:56:28 > 0:56:29Uh, do you think so...
0:56:29 > 0:56:31CHUCKLING ..Dad?
0:56:31 > 0:56:33I was so hoping you'd approve.
0:56:33 > 0:56:36- Um...who are you? - Mum, it's me, Shrek.
0:56:36 > 0:56:39I know you never get a second chance
0:56:39 > 0:56:40at a first impression,
0:56:40 > 0:56:42but well, what do you think?
0:56:46 > 0:56:48- SHREK FAINTLY:- Fiona!
0:56:50 > 0:56:54Fiona! Fiona!
0:56:54 > 0:56:55Fiona, Fiona!
0:56:55 > 0:56:57Oh, shoot!
0:56:57 > 0:56:59I don't think they can hear us, pigeon.
0:56:59 > 0:57:01SIGHS
0:57:02 > 0:57:03Don't you think
0:57:03 > 0:57:06you've already messed her life up enough?
0:57:06 > 0:57:09I just wanted her to be happy.
0:57:09 > 0:57:10And now she can be.
0:57:10 > 0:57:14Oh, sweetheart, she's finally found
0:57:14 > 0:57:16the prince of her dreams.
0:57:16 > 0:57:17But look at me.
0:57:17 > 0:57:20Look what I've done for her.
0:57:20 > 0:57:24It's time you stopped living in a fairy tale, Shrek.
0:57:24 > 0:57:27She's a princess, and you're an ogre.
0:57:27 > 0:57:30That's something no amount of potion
0:57:30 > 0:57:32is ever going to change.
0:57:39 > 0:57:40But...
0:57:40 > 0:57:41I love her.
0:57:41 > 0:57:47If you really love her, you'll let her go.
0:57:47 > 0:57:51MELANCHOLY PIANO PLAYS
0:57:51 > 0:57:52DONKEY: Shrek?
0:57:52 > 0:57:55- Senor? - Hey, what's going on?
0:57:55 > 0:57:56Where you going?
0:58:01 > 0:58:04You wouldn't have had anything to do with this,
0:58:04 > 0:58:07would you, Harold?
0:58:11 > 0:58:14# People just ain't no good
0:58:17 > 0:58:20# I think that's well understood... #
0:58:20 > 0:58:22There you go, boys.
0:58:22 > 0:58:24Just leave the bottle, buddy.
0:58:24 > 0:58:26Hey, why the long face?
0:58:26 > 0:58:30It was all just a stupid mistake.
0:58:30 > 0:58:32I never should have rescued her
0:58:32 > 0:58:34from that tower in the first place.
0:58:34 > 0:58:36SLURPING
0:58:36 > 0:58:38- SIGHS - I hate Mondays.
0:58:38 > 0:58:40I can't believe you're going to walk away
0:58:40 > 0:58:42from the best thing that ever happened to you.
0:58:42 > 0:58:43What choice do I have?
0:58:43 > 0:58:46She loves that... pretty boy, Prince Charming.
0:58:46 > 0:58:49Aw, come on, now. Is he really that good-looking?
0:58:49 > 0:58:52- STEPSISTER:- Are you kidding? He's gorgeous!
0:58:52 > 0:58:54He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels.
0:58:54 > 0:58:57Oh, he sounds dreamy.
0:58:57 > 0:58:58You know, shockingly,
0:58:58 > 0:59:01this isn't making me feel any better.
0:59:01 > 0:59:02SIGHS
0:59:02 > 0:59:06Look, guys, it's for the best.
0:59:06 > 0:59:07Mom and Dad approve,
0:59:07 > 0:59:11and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of.
0:59:11 > 0:59:14Everybody wins.
0:59:14 > 0:59:15Except for you.
0:59:15 > 0:59:18I don't get it, Shrek.
0:59:18 > 0:59:19You love Fiona.
0:59:19 > 0:59:21Aye.
0:59:21 > 0:59:23And that's why I have to let her go.
0:59:23 > 0:59:25- KING HAROLD:- Um, excuse me?
0:59:25 > 0:59:27Is she here?
0:59:27 > 0:59:29She's, er... in the back.
0:59:31 > 0:59:32Oh, hello again.
0:59:32 > 0:59:33CHUCKLES
0:59:35 > 0:59:38Uh, Fairy Godmother, Charming...
0:59:38 > 0:59:40Oh, you better have a good reason
0:59:40 > 0:59:42for dragging us down here, Harold.
0:59:42 > 0:59:43- STAMMERING - Well...
0:59:43 > 0:59:48I'm afraid Fiona isn't really warming up to Prince Charming.
0:59:48 > 0:59:50Um, FYI - not my fault.
0:59:50 > 0:59:51No, of course it's not, dear.
0:59:51 > 0:59:53I mean, how charming can I be
0:59:53 > 0:59:56when I have to pretend I'm that dreadful ogre?
0:59:56 > 0:59:59No, no, it's nobody's fault. Um, perhaps it's best
0:59:59 > 1:00:02- if we just call the whole thing off, OK?- What?!- What?!
1:00:02 > 1:00:06I mean, you can't force someone to fall in love.
1:00:06 > 1:00:09I beg to differ. I do it all the time.
1:00:09 > 1:00:12Have Fiona drink this, and she'll fall in love
1:00:12 > 1:00:14with the first man she kisses...
1:00:14 > 1:00:15which will be Charming.
1:00:15 > 1:00:19- Uh...no. - What did you say?
1:00:19 > 1:00:22- I-I can't! I won't do it. - Oh, yes, you will!
1:00:22 > 1:00:24If you remember, I helped you
1:00:24 > 1:00:26with your happily ever after.
1:00:26 > 1:00:30And I can take it away just as easily.
1:00:30 > 1:00:32Is that what you want?
1:00:32 > 1:00:33Is it?
1:00:33 > 1:00:36- N...No. - Good boy.
1:00:36 > 1:00:38Now, we have to go.
1:00:38 > 1:00:41I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. He's hopeless.
1:00:41 > 1:00:43He can never get to the back.
1:00:43 > 1:00:45You need someone to do the back of your hair.
1:00:45 > 1:00:47Oh! Thank you, Mother.
1:00:47 > 1:00:48DONKEY: Mother?!
1:00:48 > 1:00:50Uh, Mary!
1:00:50 > 1:00:52A talking horse!
1:00:52 > 1:00:53The ogre!
1:00:54 > 1:00:57Oh, stop them! Thieves!
1:00:57 > 1:00:59Bandits! Stop them!
1:00:59 > 1:01:02ANNOUNCER: Well, the abs are fab,
1:01:02 > 1:01:04and it's gluteus to the maximus here
1:01:04 > 1:01:07at tonight's Far Far Away royal ball blowout.
1:01:07 > 1:01:09The coaches are lined up as the cream of the crop
1:01:09 > 1:01:12pours out of them like Miss Muffet's curds and whey!
1:01:12 > 1:01:14Everyone who's anyone has turned out
1:01:14 > 1:01:16to honour Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek.
1:01:16 > 1:01:17And oh, my!
1:01:17 > 1:01:19The outfits look gorgeous.
1:01:19 > 1:01:20Look! Hansel and Gretel.
1:01:20 > 1:01:22Oh. What the heck are the crumbs for?
1:01:22 > 1:01:26And right behind them, Tom Thumb and Thumbelina.
1:01:26 > 1:01:27Oh, aren't they adorable?
1:01:27 > 1:01:28Whoa! THUMBELINA SCREAMS
1:01:28 > 1:01:31Here comes... Sleeping Beauty!
1:01:31 > 1:01:32Oh! Tired old thing!
1:01:33 > 1:01:35Oh! Who's this?
1:01:35 > 1:01:37Who's this? Who is this?
1:01:37 > 1:01:40Oh! It's the one... It's the only...
1:01:40 > 1:01:41It's the Fairy Godmother!
1:01:41 > 1:01:42CHEERING
1:01:42 > 1:01:46Hello, Far Far Away.
1:01:46 > 1:01:48Can I get a "whoop-whoop"?
1:01:48 > 1:01:50CROWD: Whoop-whoop!
1:01:50 > 1:01:53May all your endings be happy, and...
1:01:53 > 1:01:56- LAUGHING: - Well, you know the rest.
1:01:56 > 1:01:58ANNOUNCER: We'll be right back
1:01:58 > 1:02:01with the Royal Far Far Away ball after these messages.
1:02:01 > 1:02:04I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears.
1:02:04 > 1:02:06Flip over to Wheel Of Torture.
1:02:06 > 1:02:08I'm not flipping anywhere, sir,
1:02:08 > 1:02:09until I see Shrek and Fiona.
1:02:09 > 1:02:11Bah! Wizards on you guys.
1:02:11 > 1:02:13Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing.
1:02:13 > 1:02:15No, no, to your left.
1:02:15 > 1:02:17Your left!
1:02:18 > 1:02:20ANNOUNCER: Tonight, on "Knights."
1:02:20 > 1:02:21SIREN BLARES
1:02:21 > 1:02:22Ah! Now here's a good show.
1:02:22 > 1:02:24We got a white bronco heading east
1:02:24 > 1:02:26into the forest. Requesting backup.
1:02:26 > 1:02:29It's time for the men in steel to teach these mammals
1:02:29 > 1:02:30their attitude just won't fly.
1:02:30 > 1:02:33All right! Freeze!
1:02:33 > 1:02:35Let me go! Ow! Police brutality!
1:02:35 > 1:02:37Come on. Stop struggling.
1:02:37 > 1:02:40- I have to talk to Princess Fiona.- I warned you...
1:02:40 > 1:02:42GROANS Will they get away with it?
1:02:42 > 1:02:44Or did someone let the cat out of the bag?
1:02:44 > 1:02:47- You capitalist... - YEOWLING
1:02:47 > 1:02:49Oh! Oh! Get it off! Get it off!
1:02:49 > 1:02:53- Catnip.- That's not mine.
1:02:53 > 1:02:55I have to find Princess Fiona.
1:02:55 > 1:02:59- Come on, guy.- Tell 'em! Shrek! I'm her husband, Shrek!- Nice.
1:02:59 > 1:03:03DOOR CLANGS Quick, rewind it!
1:03:03 > 1:03:05Shrek! I'm her husband, Shrek! Ow! Ow!
1:03:30 > 1:03:32KNOCKING
1:03:32 > 1:03:34Darling?
1:03:34 > 1:03:36Ah! I thought I might find you here.
1:03:36 > 1:03:40How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball?
1:03:40 > 1:03:43- I'm not going.- But-but the whole kingdom's turned out
1:03:43 > 1:03:47- to celebrate your marriage. - There's just one problem.
1:03:47 > 1:03:48That's not my husband.
1:03:50 > 1:03:52I mean, look at him!
1:03:53 > 1:03:55Yes, he is a bit different,
1:03:55 > 1:03:58but, er, people change for the ones they love.
1:03:58 > 1:04:01You'd be surprised how much I changed for your mother.
1:04:01 > 1:04:02Change?!
1:04:02 > 1:04:05He's completely lost his mind.
1:04:05 > 1:04:07Darling, why not come down to the ball
1:04:07 > 1:04:09and give him another chance?
1:04:09 > 1:04:11I mean, you might find you like this new Shrek.
1:04:11 > 1:04:16But it's the old one I fell in love with, Dad.
1:04:16 > 1:04:18I'd give anything to have him back.
1:04:20 > 1:04:23Uh, darling, that's mine.
1:04:23 > 1:04:24Decaf.
1:04:24 > 1:04:25Otherwise, I'm up all night.
1:04:31 > 1:04:32SHE SIGHS
1:04:32 > 1:04:34Thanks.
1:04:37 > 1:04:40FAINT SHOUTING
1:04:40 > 1:04:42..And what about my Miranda rights?
1:04:42 > 1:04:44You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent.
1:04:44 > 1:04:46Nobody said I have the right to remain silent.
1:04:46 > 1:04:50Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
1:04:50 > 1:04:52What you lack is the capacity.
1:04:52 > 1:04:55I must hold on before, I, too, go totally mad.
1:04:55 > 1:04:56PINOCCHIO: Shrek?
1:04:56 > 1:04:58Donkey?
1:04:58 > 1:05:00Too late.
1:05:00 > 1:05:01Gingey! Pinocchio!
1:05:01 > 1:05:03Get us out of here!
1:05:03 > 1:05:04GROANS
1:05:04 > 1:05:06GRUNTS
1:05:08 > 1:05:10Fire in the hole!
1:05:10 > 1:05:12DULL EXPLOSION
1:05:12 > 1:05:17MUSIC: Theme from "Mission: Impossible"
1:05:24 > 1:05:26GRUNTS
1:05:27 > 1:05:28SIGHS
1:05:28 > 1:05:31Look out below!
1:05:31 > 1:05:34Quick! Tell a lie!
1:05:34 > 1:05:36- Uh...what should I say? - Anything, but quick!
1:05:36 > 1:05:39Say something crazy like, "I'm wearing ladies' underwear!"
1:05:39 > 1:05:42I'm... I'm, er... wearing ladies' underwear.
1:05:42 > 1:05:45MUSIC CRESCENDOS
1:05:45 > 1:05:46Are you?
1:05:46 > 1:05:48I most certainly am not!
1:05:48 > 1:05:51It looks like you most certainly am are!
1:05:51 > 1:05:53- I am not.- What kind?
1:05:53 > 1:05:55- They're briefs.- Are not.
1:05:55 > 1:05:57- Are, too.- Are not!- Are, too!
1:05:57 > 1:06:00All right. Here we go. Hang tight.
1:06:00 > 1:06:01SIGHS
1:06:03 > 1:06:05DONKEY: Wait, wait, wait. Ow, ow. Hey, hey, hey!
1:06:05 > 1:06:09GROANS Ow!
1:06:09 > 1:06:11- MUFFLED VOICE: Excuse me? - What? Puss!
1:06:11 > 1:06:14- Hmm?- Let me go?- Sorry, boss.
1:06:14 > 1:06:17Quit messing around. We've got to stop that kiss.
1:06:17 > 1:06:19I thought you was going to let her go.
1:06:19 > 1:06:21I was, but I can't let them do this to Fiona.
1:06:21 > 1:06:23Boom! That's what I like to hear.
1:06:23 > 1:06:25Look who's finally coming around!
1:06:25 > 1:06:27But that's impossible. We'll never get in.
1:06:27 > 1:06:30The castle is guarded, and there is a moat.
1:06:30 > 1:06:31Well, folks, it looks like
1:06:31 > 1:06:34we're up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick.
1:06:38 > 1:06:40What?
1:06:40 > 1:06:42Do you still know the muffin man?
1:06:42 > 1:06:47Well, sure. He's down on Drury Lane. Why?
1:06:47 > 1:06:51Because we're going to need flour... lots and lots of flour.
1:06:56 > 1:06:57Gingey!
1:06:57 > 1:07:00Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man.
1:07:00 > 1:07:03We've got a big order to fill.
1:07:03 > 1:07:05DEEP LAUGHTER
1:07:05 > 1:07:07- GINGERBREAD MAN:- It's alive!
1:07:07 > 1:07:09RUMBLING
1:07:09 > 1:07:12INDISTINCT TALKING
1:07:12 > 1:07:13GASPING
1:07:16 > 1:07:19Run, run, run! As fast as you can.
1:07:21 > 1:07:23SCREAMING
1:07:23 > 1:07:25DEEP LAUGHTER
1:07:25 > 1:07:27Go, baby, go!
1:07:29 > 1:07:30There it is, Mungo.
1:07:30 > 1:07:32To the castle.
1:07:32 > 1:07:35No, no, no, no, no, you great stupid pastry.
1:07:35 > 1:07:36- Yum.- Come on.
1:07:36 > 1:07:39SCREAMING
1:07:39 > 1:07:43GROANS
1:07:43 > 1:07:45Mungo, down here. Look at the pony.
1:07:45 > 1:07:48Oh, ah...
1:07:48 > 1:07:50That's right, follow the pretty pony.
1:07:50 > 1:07:52Pretty pony wants to play at the castle.
1:07:52 > 1:07:55Pretty pony.
1:07:55 > 1:07:57Ladies and gentlemen,
1:07:57 > 1:08:00presenting Princess Fiona
1:08:00 > 1:08:03and her new husband, Prince Shrek.
1:08:05 > 1:08:07Shrek, what are you doing?
1:08:07 > 1:08:09I'm just playing the part, Fiona.
1:08:09 > 1:08:12Is that glitter on your lips?
1:08:12 > 1:08:14Mm, cherry-flavoured. Want to taste?
1:08:14 > 1:08:15Urgh!
1:08:15 > 1:08:18- What is with you? - But, muffin cake...
1:08:21 > 1:08:23- SNAPS - C minor, put it in C minor.
1:08:23 > 1:08:24PLAYS SOFTLY
1:08:24 > 1:08:25Ladies and gentlemen...
1:08:25 > 1:08:28APPLAUDING
1:08:28 > 1:08:31..I'd like to dedicate this song to...
1:08:31 > 1:08:35Princess Fiona, and Prince Shrek.
1:08:35 > 1:08:36Fiona, my princess,
1:08:36 > 1:08:39will you honour me with a dance?
1:08:39 > 1:08:44# Where have all the good men gone
1:08:44 > 1:08:49- # And where are all the gods... # - CROWD: Dance! Dance! Dance!
1:08:49 > 1:08:53# Where's the streetwise Hercules
1:08:53 > 1:08:55# To fight the rising odds... #
1:08:55 > 1:08:57CHEERING
1:08:57 > 1:08:59# ..Isn't there a white knight... #
1:08:59 > 1:09:01- Since when do YOU dance? - Fiona, my dearest.
1:09:01 > 1:09:03If there's one thing I know,
1:09:03 > 1:09:06it's that love is full of surprises.
1:09:06 > 1:09:09# ..Late at night, I toss and I turn
1:09:09 > 1:09:15# And I dream of what I need... #
1:09:15 > 1:09:16Hit it!
1:09:16 > 1:09:19# Oh!
1:09:19 > 1:09:20# Ah!
1:09:20 > 1:09:22# I need a hero... #
1:09:22 > 1:09:25All right, big fella, let's crash this party.
1:09:25 > 1:09:28- # He's gotta be strong... # - Fire the catapult!
1:09:28 > 1:09:30# And he's gotta be fast
1:09:30 > 1:09:32# And he's gotta be fresh from the fight... #
1:09:32 > 1:09:34- Brace yourselves. - # ..I need a hero... #
1:09:34 > 1:09:35Ooh, pretty.
1:09:35 > 1:09:38# ..I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
1:09:38 > 1:09:40# He's gotta be sure and it's gotta be soon
1:09:40 > 1:09:42# And he's gotta be
1:09:42 > 1:09:44- # Larger than life... # - Not the gumdrop button!
1:09:44 > 1:09:47# Larger than life... #
1:09:47 > 1:09:49YELLING
1:09:50 > 1:09:52Incoming!
1:09:53 > 1:09:55LAUGHS All right!
1:09:58 > 1:09:59# ..Somewhere after midnight
1:09:59 > 1:10:03# In my wildest fantasy... #
1:10:03 > 1:10:05Go, Mungo! go!
1:10:05 > 1:10:06# ..Somewhere just beyond my reach
1:10:06 > 1:10:08# There's someone reaching back for me... #
1:10:08 > 1:10:10Man the cauldron!
1:10:10 > 1:10:12# ..Racing on the thunder
1:10:12 > 1:10:15# And rising with the heat... #
1:10:15 > 1:10:17After you, Mungo.
1:10:17 > 1:10:20# ..It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet... #
1:10:20 > 1:10:23That's it! Heave, ho!
1:10:23 > 1:10:24Watch out.
1:10:24 > 1:10:26GROANING
1:10:26 > 1:10:28Shrek!
1:10:31 > 1:10:33More heat, less foam.
1:10:33 > 1:10:36# ..Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
1:10:36 > 1:10:39# Out where the lightning splits the sea
1:10:39 > 1:10:41# I could swear there was someone somewhere
1:10:41 > 1:10:43- # Watching me... # - GROWLING
1:10:43 > 1:10:46Heave! Ho!
1:10:46 > 1:10:48# ..Through the chill and the rain
1:10:48 > 1:10:51# The storm and the flood
1:10:51 > 1:10:53- # I can feel his approach... # - No!
1:10:53 > 1:10:56- # ..Like the fire in my blood... # - No!
1:11:05 > 1:11:07MUSIC CONTINUES
1:11:22 > 1:11:24- WHISTLES - Come on!
1:11:24 > 1:11:25CHEERING
1:11:25 > 1:11:26Oh, no!
1:11:26 > 1:11:30Be...good.
1:11:30 > 1:11:33GRUNTING
1:11:33 > 1:11:35# ..I need a hero
1:11:35 > 1:11:39# I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
1:11:39 > 1:11:42# And he's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon
1:11:42 > 1:11:45# And he's gotta be larger than life... #
1:11:47 > 1:11:48Puss!
1:11:51 > 1:11:54Go, go. Your lady needs you. Go!
1:11:57 > 1:11:59Today, I repay my debt.
1:11:59 > 1:12:01SHOUTING
1:12:01 > 1:12:03SHOUTING STOPS
1:12:04 > 1:12:06- Oh...- Ah...
1:12:06 > 1:12:08- GROWLS - En garde!
1:12:08 > 1:12:11GRUNTING
1:12:11 > 1:12:14# ..Oh, he's gotta be strong
1:12:14 > 1:12:15# And he's gotta be fast
1:12:15 > 1:12:18# And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
1:12:18 > 1:12:20# I need a hero! #
1:12:20 > 1:12:21Stop!
1:12:21 > 1:12:22GASPING
1:12:22 > 1:12:24NEIGHING
1:12:26 > 1:12:27Hey, you.
1:12:27 > 1:12:29Back away from my wife.
1:12:29 > 1:12:31- Shrek? - CROWD GASPING
1:12:31 > 1:12:33You couldn't just go back
1:12:33 > 1:12:36to your swamp and leave well enough alone.
1:12:36 > 1:12:38- Now!- Pigs on blanket.
1:12:39 > 1:12:40I'm going to die!
1:12:40 > 1:12:42Pinocchio, get the wand.
1:12:42 > 1:12:44I see London, I see France...
1:12:44 > 1:12:46YELLING
1:12:48 > 1:12:49I'm a real boy!
1:12:49 > 1:12:51GRUNTING
1:12:51 > 1:12:52YELLING
1:12:52 > 1:12:54BLOWING
1:12:54 > 1:12:56GRUNTING
1:12:58 > 1:13:00DONKEY: Pig!
1:13:00 > 1:13:02- GINGERBREAD MAN:- Donkey!
1:13:02 > 1:13:04GRUNTING
1:13:05 > 1:13:07I'm a real boy! ah!
1:13:07 > 1:13:09Oh...
1:13:10 > 1:13:12Ha!
1:13:12 > 1:13:13That's mine! That's mine!
1:13:17 > 1:13:19Pray for mercy from Puss.
1:13:19 > 1:13:20And Donkey.
1:13:20 > 1:13:23She's taken the potion. Kiss her now!
1:13:26 > 1:13:29No!
1:13:44 > 1:13:46Hi-yah!
1:13:46 > 1:13:48GASPS
1:13:48 > 1:13:51- Fiona...- Shrek.
1:13:51 > 1:13:55Harold! You were supposed to give her the potion.
1:13:55 > 1:13:59Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea.
1:13:59 > 1:14:01- PRINCE CHARMING:- Mommy! - Mommy?
1:14:02 > 1:14:04I told you -
1:14:04 > 1:14:07ogres don't live
1:14:07 > 1:14:11happily ever after!
1:14:11 > 1:14:13- Harold!- Shrek!- No!
1:14:16 > 1:14:17GASPS
1:14:17 > 1:14:19Oh...
1:14:19 > 1:14:21Ha!
1:14:29 > 1:14:31FIONA SOBS
1:14:31 > 1:14:33Oh... Dad.
1:14:33 > 1:14:36CRYING
1:14:36 > 1:14:38- Is he...?- Yup.
1:14:38 > 1:14:40RIBBIT!
1:14:40 > 1:14:42He croaked.
1:14:43 > 1:14:46- Harold?- Dad?
1:14:46 > 1:14:49I'd hoped you'd never see me like this.
1:14:49 > 1:14:51Hey, and he gave you a hard time.
1:14:51 > 1:14:54- Donkey...- No, no, he's right. I'm sorry.
1:14:54 > 1:14:56To both of you.
1:14:56 > 1:14:59I only wanted what was best for Fiona.
1:14:59 > 1:15:01But I can see now,
1:15:01 > 1:15:04she already has it.
1:15:04 > 1:15:06Shrek, Fiona...
1:15:06 > 1:15:10will you accept an old frog's apologies,
1:15:10 > 1:15:13and my blessing?
1:15:13 > 1:15:16- Harold... - I'm sorry, Lillian.
1:15:16 > 1:15:19I just wish I could be the man you deserve.
1:15:20 > 1:15:24You're more that man today than you ever were.
1:15:24 > 1:15:25Warts and all.
1:15:25 > 1:15:27RIBBIT!
1:15:27 > 1:15:29BELL TOLLS
1:15:29 > 1:15:33- Boss, the happily ever after potion. - Midnight.
1:15:33 > 1:15:37Fiona, is this what you want,
1:15:37 > 1:15:39to be this way forever?
1:15:39 > 1:15:40What?
1:15:40 > 1:15:45Cos if you kiss me now, we can stay like this.
1:15:45 > 1:15:49You'd do that... for me?
1:15:49 > 1:15:50Yes.
1:15:50 > 1:15:52BELL TOLLING
1:15:57 > 1:16:00I want what any princess wants -
1:16:00 > 1:16:03to live happily ever after.
1:16:07 > 1:16:10With the ogre I married.
1:16:12 > 1:16:15Whatever happens, I must not cry.
1:16:15 > 1:16:18You cannot make me cry.
1:16:18 > 1:16:21TOLLING MIDNIGHT
1:16:38 > 1:16:40GASPING
1:16:41 > 1:16:43No, no...help!
1:16:43 > 1:16:44Ow!
1:16:48 > 1:16:49Oh, no.
1:17:03 > 1:17:05SIGHS
1:17:05 > 1:17:06CHUCKLES
1:17:06 > 1:17:09Hey, you still look like a noble steed to me.
1:17:13 > 1:17:14SHE CHUCKLES
1:17:14 > 1:17:16Now, where were we?
1:17:16 > 1:17:18Oh, I remember.
1:17:18 > 1:17:20GIGGLING
1:17:20 > 1:17:23APPLAUSE
1:17:25 > 1:17:29Hey, isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?!
1:17:29 > 1:17:30Uno, dos, quatro, hit it.
1:17:32 > 1:17:37FIESTA MUSIC PLAYS
1:17:37 > 1:17:39Puss and Donkey, y'all.
1:17:39 > 1:17:41# She's into superstitions
1:17:41 > 1:17:43# Black cats and voodoo dolls... #
1:17:43 > 1:17:45Take it, puss!
1:17:45 > 1:17:47# ..I feel a premonition
1:17:47 > 1:17:51# That girl's going to make me fall... #
1:17:51 > 1:17:52Here we go.
1:17:52 > 1:17:54# ..She's into new sensations
1:17:54 > 1:17:57# New kicks in the candlelight
1:17:57 > 1:18:00# She's got a new addiction
1:18:00 > 1:18:02# For every day and night
1:18:02 > 1:18:04# She makes you take your clothes off
1:18:04 > 1:18:07# And go dancing in the rain
1:18:07 > 1:18:09# She'll make you live her crazy life
1:18:09 > 1:18:13# But she'll take away your pain
1:18:13 > 1:18:15# Like a bullet to the brain
1:18:15 > 1:18:18# Upside inside out
1:18:18 > 1:18:20# Livin' la vida loca
1:18:20 > 1:18:23- # She'll push and pull down... # - Hello, gorgeous.
1:18:23 > 1:18:25# ..Livin' la vida loca
1:18:25 > 1:18:28# Her lips are devil red
1:18:28 > 1:18:30# And her skin's the colour of mocha
1:18:30 > 1:18:32# She will wear you out
1:18:32 > 1:18:36# Livin' la vida loca... # Oh, she's livin' la loca.
1:18:36 > 1:18:38# Livin la vida loca... # Take it one more time now.
1:18:38 > 1:18:40# Livin' la vida loca
1:18:40 > 1:18:44# Oh... #
1:18:44 > 1:18:46Ow!
1:18:46 > 1:18:49- PUSS:- Hey, Donkey, that's Spanish. - DONKEY: Break it down!
1:18:49 > 1:18:51# She'll push and pull you down
1:18:51 > 1:18:54# Livin' la vida loca
1:18:54 > 1:18:56# She will wear you out
1:18:56 > 1:18:58# Livin' la vida loca
1:18:58 > 1:19:02# Livin' la vida loca
1:19:02 > 1:19:04# She'll push and pull you down
1:19:04 > 1:19:07# Livin' la vida loca
1:19:07 > 1:19:09# Her lips are devil red
1:19:09 > 1:19:11# And her skin's the colour of mocha
1:19:11 > 1:19:14# She will wear you out
1:19:14 > 1:19:17# Livin' la vida loca
1:19:17 > 1:19:19# Livin' la vida loca
1:19:19 > 1:19:22# Livin' la vida loca... # Do it one more time now.
1:19:22 > 1:19:26# ..Livin' la vida loca! #
1:20:40 > 1:20:42DONKEY: # All by myself
1:20:42 > 1:20:48# Don't want to be all by myself any more... #
1:20:48 > 1:20:51Amigo, we are off to the Kit-kat club.
1:20:51 > 1:20:53Come on, join us.
1:20:53 > 1:20:54Oh, thanks, compadre.
1:20:54 > 1:20:57- I'm... I'm just not in the mood. - We'll cheer you up.
1:20:57 > 1:21:00Find you a nice, er, burro.
1:21:00 > 1:21:01DISTANT GROWLING
1:21:01 > 1:21:03Hey, baby!
1:21:03 > 1:21:06Whoo! Hey, that's my girl.
1:21:06 > 1:21:08Yeah! All right.
1:21:08 > 1:21:10Baby, where you been?
1:21:10 > 1:21:11GROWLS
1:21:11 > 1:21:14I'm sorry, too. I should have stayed, but Shrek had this thing he had
1:21:14 > 1:21:16to do, and, er... What? Say it one more time.
1:21:16 > 1:21:19What are you talking about? Are you serious? GASPS
1:21:19 > 1:21:20LAUGHING
1:21:20 > 1:21:23- Papa. - SCREAMS
1:21:23 > 1:21:26LAUGHING
1:21:29 > 1:21:32Look at our little mutant babies.
1:21:33 > 1:21:36I got to get a job!