0:00:48 > 0:00:52SPACE AGE MUSIC PLAYS
0:01:18 > 0:01:20ON RADIO: # You'd better pray to the Lord
0:01:20 > 0:01:22# When you see those flying saucers
0:01:22 > 0:01:27# It may be the coming of the Judgment Day... #
0:01:28 > 0:01:30ALARM BLARES
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Hey, Jerry. You might want to check this one out.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38Palomar just picked it up. Looks like some type of UFO.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40It's heading this way.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42How many times do I have to tell you this?
0:01:42 > 0:01:46UFOs don't exist. We're never going to see...
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Wow. Its energy signature is massive.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Holy Cheesits. What do we do? No-one ever told us what to do.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54The only reason I took this job is cos you never do anything!
0:01:54 > 0:01:58Jerry, stop it. We calculate its impact point.
0:01:58 > 0:01:59Looks like...
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Modesto, California.
0:02:02 > 0:02:06Supernova, this is Red Dwarf. We actually have one.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Code Nimoy. I repeat, Code Nimoy.
0:02:24 > 0:02:29DEEP WHEEZING AND SLURPING
0:02:39 > 0:02:41DOOR CREAKS
0:02:53 > 0:02:54SHE SCREAMS
0:02:54 > 0:02:55ALL SCREAM
0:02:55 > 0:02:56SHE WHEEZES
0:02:56 > 0:02:58SHE SLURPS
0:02:59 > 0:03:02What are you guys doing here? It's five in the morning.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Hurry, turn on the TV. Turn it on now!
0:03:04 > 0:03:08'And some early-morning fog giving way to sunny skies.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12'75 degrees, a perfect day to stop by the old folk art and craft show
0:03:12 > 0:03:14'down at the fairgrounds.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17'Or a perfect day to marry Susan Murphy.
0:03:20 > 0:03:21'(I love you, baby.)'
0:03:21 > 0:03:24- I love you, too. ALL:- Aww.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25'Aww.'
0:03:25 > 0:03:27'And good morning, Modesto.'
0:03:28 > 0:03:30'Channel 172.'
0:03:31 > 0:03:35# I know something about love
0:03:35 > 0:03:37# You've got to want it bad
0:03:37 > 0:03:38# If that guy's got into your blood... #
0:03:38 > 0:03:42You look gorgeous, sweetheart.
0:03:42 > 0:03:43Thanks, Mom.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Ah, my little girl.
0:03:53 > 0:03:54Daddy!
0:03:54 > 0:03:59Now, I want you to know that even though I'm about to give you away,
0:03:59 > 0:04:02I will always be here to take care of you.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Don't cry, because then you're going to make me cry.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05That's just going to be a mess.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08- HE SOBS - I can't help it.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13Hello, everyone. Attention, attention.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Wedding starts in 30 minutes.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17My beautiful daughter-in-law.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19- Hi, Mama Dietl. - It's like a fairy-tale.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22The weatherman and the weatherman's wife.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Romantic.
0:04:24 > 0:04:25Oh, I know.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29Just think - this time tomorrow, I'm going to be in Paris.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31And someday we won't just be honeymooning there.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34Derek will become an anchor or a foreign correspondent
0:04:34 > 0:04:36and we'll travel all over the world.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Oh, honey, my fingers are crossed.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45One thumb is shorter than the other. It runs in the family.
0:04:45 > 0:04:46Derek doesn't have that.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49It skips a generation. Your kids are going to have it.
0:04:55 > 0:04:56SHE SIGHS
0:04:56 > 0:04:58BIRDS TWITTER
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Wow, you look beautiful.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04So do you. I mean, handsome.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07I mean... Sorry, I'm just a little frazzled.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09I just spent way too much time with our parents.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Don't worry, OK? We'll be alone soon.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Just us.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16Mmm. Eating cheese and baguettes by the Seine.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Feeding each other chocolate crepes.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20SHE SIGHS
0:05:20 > 0:05:22- Um...- Is something wrong?
0:05:22 > 0:05:26No, no, it's just that, well...
0:05:26 > 0:05:29there's been a slight change of plans.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31We're not going to Paris.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34What? Why not?
0:05:34 > 0:05:35We're going somewhere better.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37- Better than Paris?- Oh, yeah.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Where? Tahiti?
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Nope. Fresno.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Fresno!
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Fresno.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49In what universe is Fresno better than Paris, Derek?
0:05:49 > 0:05:52In the "I've got an audition
0:05:52 > 0:05:56"to become Channel 23's new evening anchor" universe.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58I got the call from the general manager.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01He wants me to come in immediately. Isn't that great?
0:06:01 > 0:06:06Derek, that's...amazing.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08It's amazing.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Fresno's like a top 50 market, isn't it?
0:06:10 > 0:06:14Actually, it's 55th. But we're on our way, babe.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16- HE SIGHS - Now, look, about Paris.- It's OK.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19It's fine.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22As long as we're together, Fresno is the most romantic city
0:06:22 > 0:06:24in the whole world.
0:06:24 > 0:06:25I'm so proud of you.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Of us. Not just of me.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31I mean, of course, but we're a team now.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33You're so proud of us.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37Now, get out of here. It's bad luck to see me in my dress.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Come on, you know I don't believe in that stuff.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41I'll be waiting for you at the altar.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44The handsome news anchor in the tux, all right?
0:06:44 > 0:06:47- Love ya! There, I said it. - HE LAUGHS
0:06:47 > 0:06:49I love you, too.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53THUNDER-LIKE RUMBLE, SHE GASPS
0:07:02 > 0:07:04SHE GASPS
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Susan!
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Where could she be? Susan!
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Where are you?
0:07:31 > 0:07:34SHE MOANS
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Susan, where have you been?
0:07:37 > 0:07:40I think I just got hit by a meteorite.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42- SHE SIGHS - Oh, Susan.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Every bride feels that way on her wedding day.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47My goodness, look at you. You're filthy.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50Thank God I have Wet Ones.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05SHE PLAYS "BRIDAL CHORUS"
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Wow.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28You're glowing.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32- Thank you.- No, Susan.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34You're, like, really glowing.
0:08:34 > 0:08:35You're green.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37SHE GASPS
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Oh, no.
0:08:39 > 0:08:40SHE GROANS
0:08:40 > 0:08:41Derek!
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Oh, my gosh.
0:08:47 > 0:08:48What's going on?
0:08:48 > 0:08:50- What's happening here? - You're all shrinking!
0:08:50 > 0:08:53Uh-uh. You're growing.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56- Well, make it stop. - Get me the Government.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00This is impossible.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03No. This can't be happening.
0:09:03 > 0:09:04SHE SCREAMS
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Wait, everybody, it's OK.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Have some champagne while we're figuring this out.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Thumbs, thumbs!
0:09:11 > 0:09:13SCREAMING
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Derek. Help me.
0:09:16 > 0:09:17SHE GROANS
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Sweet Lord.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Here comes the bride!
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Oh, Carl, it's her wedding day.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34- Derek. Derek! - All non-military personnel...
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Don't hurt Derek.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Susan.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Thank goodness you're OK. What's happening to me?
0:09:41 > 0:09:45Don't panic, don't worry. Whatever you do, don't drop...
0:09:45 > 0:09:47HE YELLS Derek!
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Sorry, sir.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Who are you people? What are you doing?
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Stop it! Be careful.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58Get your hands off me. Don't you know who I am?
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Please, just leave me alone.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03SHE SCREAMS
0:10:05 > 0:10:07HE YELLS
0:10:07 > 0:10:10MEN SHOUT
0:10:10 > 0:10:12She's coming down!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Watch out!
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Move it, move it. Let's go. Move it, move it.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Derek.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31'All teams are Oscar Mike. Let's get this baby on the bus.'
0:10:35 > 0:10:37ALARM RINGS
0:10:37 > 0:10:40Honey, could you hit the snooze?
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Baby, why did you set the alarm?
0:10:45 > 0:10:46We're on our honeymoon.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48SHE GRUNTS
0:10:51 > 0:10:54ALARM DRONES Hello?
0:10:55 > 0:10:56What's going on?
0:11:00 > 0:11:02CLANKING
0:11:03 > 0:11:05SHE CRIES OUT
0:11:12 > 0:11:13SHE SHRIEKS
0:11:13 > 0:11:15ALARM STOPS
0:11:16 > 0:11:17CLANKING
0:11:30 > 0:11:33SHE HYPERVENTILATES
0:11:41 > 0:11:42Hello?
0:11:51 > 0:11:53SHE GASPS
0:11:58 > 0:12:02Is it just legs? Did we capture a giant pair of legs?
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Silence, BOB. She'll hear us.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06How? Legs don't have ears?
0:12:06 > 0:12:07Just shush.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Hello?
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Is there someone there?
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Could you please tell me where I am?
0:12:17 > 0:12:18HISSING
0:12:32 > 0:12:33SHE GASPS Hello?
0:12:33 > 0:12:35(What was that?)
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Hello.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Ewww!
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Will you stop...? Careful!
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Please, madam.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53Stop...doing...that.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Ow!
0:12:56 > 0:13:00Whatever mad scientist made you,
0:13:00 > 0:13:03he really went all out.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06You can talk...
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Hi there.
0:13:15 > 0:13:16Eurgh!
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Argh! My back.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Just kidding. I don't have a back.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Forgive him, but as you can see, he has no brain.
0:13:24 > 0:13:25Turns out you don't need one.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Totally overrated. As a matter of fact,
0:13:28 > 0:13:31- I don't even... - HE GASPS
0:13:31 > 0:13:34I forgot how to breathe. Don't know how to breathe.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Help me, Dr Cockroach. Help!
0:13:36 > 0:13:38- Help!- Suck in, BOB.
0:13:38 > 0:13:39BOB INHALES
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Thanks, Doc.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43You're a life-saver.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- SHE GASPS - Wow, look at you.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48I know what you're thinking. First day in prison,
0:13:48 > 0:13:50you want to take down the toughest guy in the yard.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52I'd like to see you try.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Huh! Ha! He! Yah!
0:13:56 > 0:13:57Ninja!
0:13:57 > 0:13:59He! Ha! Yah!
0:13:59 > 0:14:01- CRACK! - Ow!
0:14:03 > 0:14:04Gosh!
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Look, she's speechless.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08- She?- Yes, BOB.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11We are in the presence of the rare female monster.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15No way. It's a boy. Look at his boobies.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17We need to have a talk.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Gentlemen, I'm afraid we are not making a very good first impression.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22At least I'm talking.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25First new monster in years, we couldn't get a wolfman or a mummy?
0:14:25 > 0:14:28You know, somebody to play cards with.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Might we ask your name, madam?
0:14:33 > 0:14:34Susan.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36No, we mean, like, your monster name.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39What do people scream when they see you coming?
0:14:39 > 0:14:42You know, like, "Look out! Here comes..."
0:14:43 > 0:14:44Susan.
0:14:44 > 0:14:48- Really?- Su-u-u-usan.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Ooh, I just scared myself. That is scary.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52- ALARM BLARES - Yes! Eat time.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00That is repulsive.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Ooh, an old slipper.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14Oh, please, God. Please tell me this isn't real.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Please tell me I had a nervous breakdown at the wedding
0:15:16 > 0:15:19and now I'm in a mental hospital
0:15:19 > 0:15:21on medication that gives me hallucinations.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23GROWLING
0:15:24 > 0:15:26ROARING
0:15:26 > 0:15:29SHE SCREAMS
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Don't scare Insectosaurus.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34He's going to pee himself. Then we'll all be in trouble.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Every room has a door. Where's the door?
0:15:37 > 0:15:40It's OK, buddy. Don't worry about it.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Who's a handsome bug, huh?
0:15:42 > 0:15:45You like it when I rub your tummy?
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Please, somebody!
0:15:47 > 0:15:49I don't belong here!
0:15:49 > 0:15:52- Let me out!- Hey, hey. That is not a good idea.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Let me out!
0:16:06 > 0:16:09Monsters, get back in your cells.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31Oh, thank goodness. A real person.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33You are a real person, right?
0:16:33 > 0:16:36You're not one of those half-person, half-machine, you know,
0:16:36 > 0:16:39- whatever you call those things. - A cyborg?
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Oh, no! You're a cyborg!
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Madam, I assure you I am not a cyborg.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46The name is General WR Monger.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48I'm in charge of this facility.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51Now, follow me. It is time for your orientation.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04In 1950, it was decided that Jane and Joe Public
0:17:04 > 0:17:06could not handle the truth about monsters
0:17:06 > 0:17:09and should focus on more important things like paying taxes.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12So, the government convinced the world
0:17:12 > 0:17:14monsters were stuff of myth and legend,
0:17:14 > 0:17:16then locked them away in this here facility.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18SHE GASPS
0:17:19 > 0:17:22But I'm not a monster. I'm just a regular person.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25I'm not a danger to anyone or anything.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28SHRIEKING
0:17:28 > 0:17:29Don't let her get me.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Sorry.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38MOOING
0:17:38 > 0:17:40- How long will I be here? - Indefinitely.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43- Can I contact my parents?- No. - Derek?- Negative.
0:17:43 > 0:17:47- Do they know where I am? - No, and they never will.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49This place is an X-File wrapped in a cover-up
0:17:49 > 0:17:52and deep-fried in a paranoid conspiracy.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55There will be zero contact with the outside world.
0:18:08 > 0:18:09LOW GROWLING
0:18:19 > 0:18:23Seven, eight...
0:18:23 > 0:18:27999,
0:18:27 > 0:18:281,000.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30I can't believe I did ten sets.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40HE LAUGHS
0:18:40 > 0:18:41Ah, Susan.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44You wouldn't happen to have any uranium on you?
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Just need a smidge.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49Rescind Doc Cockroach's toy box privileges immediately.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53We had the prison psychologist redecorate your cell.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Try to keep y'all calm like.
0:18:56 > 0:18:57But I don't want a poster.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01I want a real kitten hanging from a real tree.
0:19:03 > 0:19:04I want to go home.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Come on, little Debbie, please don't cry.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10It makes my knees hurt. Don't think of this as a prison.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Think of it as a hotel you never leave
0:19:12 > 0:19:14because it's locked from the outside.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20Oh, and one other thing.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23The government has changed your name to Ginormica.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25SHE GASPS
0:20:10 > 0:20:14- COMPUTER: - 'Begin reanimation sequence.'
0:20:19 > 0:20:22Who dares to wake me?
0:20:22 > 0:20:26'Quantonium has been located on a distant planet
0:20:26 > 0:20:28'in the Omega Quadrant.'
0:20:28 > 0:20:30The Omega Quadrant?
0:20:30 > 0:20:31Lame.
0:20:31 > 0:20:36'The trajectory of the quantonium meteor has been traced
0:20:36 > 0:20:39'to sector 72-4.
0:20:39 > 0:20:43'A planet locally known as Earth.'
0:20:43 > 0:20:46What a miserable-looking mudball.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49Send a robot probe.
0:20:49 > 0:20:54Extract the quantonium with extreme prejudice.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58I want it all.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Every last drop.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04'Yes, Gallaxhar.'
0:21:04 > 0:21:07Nothing can stand in my way now.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Don't rush me, Katie. I'm just not ready.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Oh, relax, Cuthbert. It's just like dancing.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35I'll lead.
0:21:36 > 0:21:37RADIO SIGNAL WOBBLES
0:21:37 > 0:21:41Katie, I have a gymnastics meet tomorrow. So maybe...
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Did you open the top?
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Oh. Thank goodness. It's the police.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49- We weren't doing anything, officer. - Yeah, nothing at all.
0:21:54 > 0:21:55Jiminy!
0:21:55 > 0:21:59Why did I even let you talk me into this?
0:21:59 > 0:22:01- Maybe we should get out of here. - Or maybe we should go check it out.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Katie, are you nuts?
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Wait! Don't leave me alone.
0:22:09 > 0:22:10HE SHRIEKS
0:22:10 > 0:22:12My ankle.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15I think it's broken. Katie?
0:22:17 > 0:22:20(This is the worst date ever.)
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Katie, I'm frightened.
0:22:36 > 0:22:37BOTH YELL
0:22:39 > 0:22:41It was first spotted at midnight last night
0:22:41 > 0:22:44by a couple in romantic embrace.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47No-one knows what it is or where it came from.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51All branches of the military were immediately mobilised.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53What is that?
0:22:53 > 0:22:54OK.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58I have just received word that the President of the United States
0:22:58 > 0:23:02has arrived and will attempt to make first contact.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04I must approach it alone.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06This is all about peaceful communication.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09- CLANKING - Yes, sir, Mr President.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44'Perimeter stable. Got a bead on Papa Bear. All clear.'
0:23:44 > 0:23:47HE PANTS
0:23:59 > 0:24:02KNUCKLES CRACK
0:24:02 > 0:24:06TUNE FROM "Close Encounters Of The Third Kind"
0:24:07 > 0:24:08FLAT NOTE
0:24:08 > 0:24:10CORRECT NOTE
0:24:12 > 0:24:14HE GULPS
0:24:19 > 0:24:21MUSIC: "Axel F" by Harold Faltermeyer
0:24:26 > 0:24:27BEAT KICKS IN
0:24:47 > 0:24:50HE PANTS
0:24:50 > 0:24:52DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE
0:24:58 > 0:24:59ALL GASP
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Saddle up. Let's go. MEN SHOUT
0:25:52 > 0:25:53Here we go.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Man down!
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Whoa!
0:26:05 > 0:26:08Commander, do something violent.
0:26:08 > 0:26:09You heard the President. Light him up.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20We're getting pummelled down here. Call in air support.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Call in air support!
0:26:22 > 0:26:25INDISTINCT SPEECH OVER RADIOS
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Yeah!
0:26:36 > 0:26:38INDISTINCT SPEECH OVER RADIOS
0:26:42 > 0:26:43Call in...
0:26:43 > 0:26:45CLEARS THROAT Call in a full retreat.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48Full retreat, full retreat. All troops.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52- Wheels up. Papa Bear's on the move. - Wait.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56So, that's how you want to play it? Eat lead, alien robot.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58HE GULPS
0:26:58 > 0:27:01- Evidently they eat lead. - Get him on the chopper.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03I'm brave! I'm a brave President.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Get out of the way!
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Sir! We need to declare...
0:27:25 > 0:27:29We need to overthrow that robot and install our own approved government
0:27:29 > 0:27:30within the robot.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33- I say we invade it.- At this rate, the Earth only has two weeks left.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36If it walks into a populated area, there will be a catastrophe.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39We need our top scientific minds. Get India on the phone.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Can we transport the United States to a safer planet?
0:27:42 > 0:27:45I say we give him a green card and make him proud to be American.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48Sir, it's at dire times like this when I stop and ask myself
0:27:48 > 0:27:51- what would Oprah do?- Hang it all!
0:27:51 > 0:27:54What's the point? It's a disaster.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56ALL: Stop!
0:27:56 > 0:27:59That button launches all of our nuclear missiles.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01Then which button gets me a latte?
0:28:01 > 0:28:03That would be the other one, sir.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09What idiot designed this thing?
0:28:09 > 0:28:11You did, sir.
0:28:11 > 0:28:12Fair enough.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15- Wilson, fire somebody. - Yes, sir, Mr President.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17Listen up. I'm not going to go down in history
0:28:17 > 0:28:21as the President who was in office when the world came to an end.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24So, somebody think of something and think of it fast.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28- That is a good cup of Joe. - Mr President!
0:28:31 > 0:28:35Not only do I have an idea, but I have a plan.
0:28:35 > 0:28:36Hoo-rah.
0:28:39 > 0:28:42Now, conventional weapons have no effect on this thing.
0:28:42 > 0:28:44We all know nukes ain't an option.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46Sure they are. Just, er...
0:28:46 > 0:28:48- ALL: No! - No, wait!
0:28:48 > 0:28:51I'm not going to kid you, Mr President.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54These are dark times. The odds are against us.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56We need a Hail Mary pass. We need raw power.
0:28:56 > 0:28:58We need...
0:28:58 > 0:29:00monsters.
0:29:02 > 0:29:04Monsters! Of course!
0:29:04 > 0:29:06It's so simple.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09I... I'm not following you.
0:29:09 > 0:29:13Over the last 50 years, I have captured monsters on the rampage
0:29:13 > 0:29:15and locked them up in a secret prison facility.
0:29:15 > 0:29:21So secret that the mere mention of its name is a federal offence.
0:29:21 > 0:29:23Is he referring to Area 5...
0:29:23 > 0:29:25HE GASPS
0:29:25 > 0:29:29Mr President, say hello to Insectosaurus.
0:29:29 > 0:29:31SHE SCREAMS
0:29:31 > 0:29:33Miss Ronson, please.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36Nuclear radiation turned him from a small grub
0:29:36 > 0:29:42into a 350-foot tall monster that attacked Tokyo.
0:29:42 > 0:29:44Here we have The Missing Link.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46MISS RONSON SCREAMS
0:29:47 > 0:29:53A 20,000-year-old, frozen fish-man who was thawed out by scientists.
0:29:53 > 0:29:57He escaped and went on a rampage at his old watering-hole.
0:29:57 > 0:30:00This handsome fellow is Dr Cockroach, PhD.
0:30:00 > 0:30:02The most brilliant man in the world.
0:30:02 > 0:30:06He invented a scientific machine
0:30:06 > 0:30:10that would give humans the cockroach's ability to survive.
0:30:10 > 0:30:13Unfortunately, there was a side-effect.
0:30:13 > 0:30:15MISS RONSON SCREAMS
0:30:15 > 0:30:18Now, we call this thing BOB.
0:30:18 > 0:30:22MISS RONSON SCREAMS Will someone get her out of here?
0:30:23 > 0:30:25Thank you.
0:30:25 > 0:30:29A genetically altered tomato was combined with a chemically altered,
0:30:29 > 0:30:32ranch-flavoured, dessert topping at a snack food plant.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35The resulting goop gained consciousness
0:30:35 > 0:30:39and became an indestructible, gelatinous mass.
0:30:39 > 0:30:42And our latest addition - Ginormica.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM
0:30:45 > 0:30:47HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:30:47 > 0:30:48General, continue.
0:30:48 > 0:30:52Her entire body radiates with pure energy,
0:30:52 > 0:30:55giving her enormous strength and size.
0:30:55 > 0:31:00Sir, these monsters are our best and only chance to defeat that robot.
0:31:00 > 0:31:03Don't we already have an alien problem, General?
0:31:03 > 0:31:05I don't think we need a monster problem, too.
0:31:05 > 0:31:08You got a better idea, nerd?
0:31:08 > 0:31:09Ah!
0:31:09 > 0:31:10ALL EXCLAIM
0:31:10 > 0:31:13- OK, stay where you are. - HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:31:13 > 0:31:16General, I propose we go forward
0:31:16 > 0:31:20with your monsters versus aliens idea...thingy.
0:31:20 > 0:31:23Go fish.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32Do you have...
0:31:32 > 0:31:34any...
0:31:34 > 0:31:36threes?
0:31:36 > 0:31:37Yes. I do.
0:31:37 > 0:31:40How are you doing this? You're the luckiest guy I know.
0:31:40 > 0:31:42Luck ain't got nothing to do with it.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46What the... Hey!
0:31:48 > 0:31:52They called me crazy. But I'll show them.
0:31:52 > 0:31:55- I'll show them all. - MANIACAL LAUGH
0:31:55 > 0:31:59Doctor, I'd prefer you didn't do your mad scientist laugh
0:31:59 > 0:32:01while I'm hooked up to this machine.
0:32:01 > 0:32:03INSECTOSAURUS GROANS
0:32:03 > 0:32:05You're right, Insecto.
0:32:05 > 0:32:08You've been letting that quack experiment on you for over a month.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11I'm not a quack, I'm a mad scientist.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13There is a difference.
0:32:13 > 0:32:15Guys, what choice do I have?
0:32:15 > 0:32:19If he can make me normal or even 6 foot 8, I can get out of here.
0:32:19 > 0:32:21Get back to the life I'm supposed to have.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23- I should be in... - Let me guess. Fresno?
0:32:23 > 0:32:25Well, Fresno's just a stepping stone.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28Next step Milwaukee, and then New York and then someday...
0:32:28 > 0:32:30Yeah, we know. Paris.
0:32:30 > 0:32:34Throw the switch, Doctor. But don't do the laugh.
0:32:34 > 0:32:37Now, you're going to feel a slight pinch in the brain.
0:32:37 > 0:32:39- MANIACAL LAUGH - Sorry.
0:32:49 > 0:32:52Susan! Yoo-hoo!
0:32:52 > 0:32:54Am I small again?
0:32:54 > 0:32:56I'm afraid not, my dear.
0:33:00 > 0:33:04In fact, you may actually have grown a couple of feet.
0:33:07 > 0:33:10It's OK, Doc. We'll try again tomorrow.
0:33:10 > 0:33:12You really don't get it, do you?
0:33:12 > 0:33:15No monster has ever gotten out of here.
0:33:15 > 0:33:17That's not true. The Invisible Man did.
0:33:17 > 0:33:19No, he didn't.
0:33:19 > 0:33:21We just told you that so you wouldn't get upset.
0:33:21 > 0:33:24He died of a heart attack 25 years ago.
0:33:24 > 0:33:25No!
0:33:25 > 0:33:28Yeah, in that very chair.
0:33:29 > 0:33:31He's still there.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33BOB MOANS
0:33:33 > 0:33:35You see what I'm saying?
0:33:35 > 0:33:37Nobody's leaving, nobody's ever getting out.
0:33:37 > 0:33:41Good news, monsters. You're getting out.
0:33:41 > 0:33:42Until today.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49So, let me get this straight, Monger.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51You want us to fight an alien robot.
0:33:51 > 0:33:54And in exchange, the President of these United States
0:33:54 > 0:33:57has authorised me to grant you your freedom.
0:33:57 > 0:34:01I can't believe it. Soon I'll be back in Derek's arms.
0:34:01 > 0:34:03Or he'll be in mine.
0:34:03 > 0:34:07I can't wait for spring break back at Coco Beach, just...
0:34:07 > 0:34:08freaking everybody out.
0:34:08 > 0:34:12And I'll go back to my lab and finally finish my experiments.
0:34:12 > 0:34:14No, that's me, BOB.
0:34:14 > 0:34:16Then I'll be a really giant lady.
0:34:16 > 0:34:18That's Susan, BOB.
0:34:18 > 0:34:22Fine. Then I'll go back to Modesto and be with Derek.
0:34:22 > 0:34:24Yeah, that's still Susan, BOB.
0:34:24 > 0:34:27I think I at least deserve a chance to be with Derek.
0:34:27 > 0:34:29WOMAN: All right, let's go.
0:34:35 > 0:34:37INSECTOSAURUS ROARS
0:34:48 > 0:34:50CAR HORNS HONK
0:34:50 > 0:34:52Everybody move in an orderly fashion.
0:34:52 > 0:34:56This is an emergency. We are evacuating the city.
0:34:56 > 0:34:59Exact change is appreciated but not necessary.
0:35:27 > 0:35:29Let's move out.
0:35:35 > 0:35:38This is San Francisco. This isn't far from my home.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40- DR COCKROACH SIGHS - Feel the wind on your antennae.
0:35:40 > 0:35:42Isn't this wonderful?
0:35:42 > 0:35:46I haven't been outside in 50 years. It's... It's amazing out here.
0:35:46 > 0:35:48It's a little hotter than I remember.
0:35:48 > 0:35:50Has the Earth gotten warmer? That'd be great to know.
0:35:50 > 0:35:53That would be a very convenient truth.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55GROANING AND CLANKING
0:35:56 > 0:35:57Woo-whee!
0:35:57 > 0:36:00- Now, that's a robot!- It's huge.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02Try not to damage it too much, monsters.
0:36:02 > 0:36:04I might want to bring it back to the farm.
0:36:04 > 0:36:08No, no, no. Wait. You didn't say anything about it being huge.
0:36:08 > 0:36:10Wait! No, don't leave!
0:36:14 > 0:36:16I think he sees us.
0:36:16 > 0:36:18Hello. Hi!
0:36:18 > 0:36:20How are you doing? Welcome.
0:36:20 > 0:36:22We are here to destroy you.
0:36:22 > 0:36:24I can't fight that thing. I can't even...
0:36:24 > 0:36:26I've n...
0:36:26 > 0:36:28I'm hyperventilating.
0:36:28 > 0:36:30Does anybody have a giant paper bag?
0:36:30 > 0:36:31Relax.
0:36:31 > 0:36:33Old Link's got this under control.
0:36:33 > 0:36:36Hide in the city, Susan. You'll be safe there.
0:36:36 > 0:36:39But stay away from the Tenderloin. It's a little dicey.
0:36:39 > 0:36:40Finally, some action.
0:36:40 > 0:36:42I'm going to turn that oversized tin can
0:36:42 > 0:36:46into a really dented, oversized tin can.
0:36:51 > 0:36:54OK. Does anybody have a 20 on Insectosaurus?
0:36:54 > 0:36:57Wow. Would you look at the size of that...?
0:36:57 > 0:36:59Foot!
0:37:01 > 0:37:03I got him, you guys. I got...
0:37:04 > 0:37:06Don't worry, I won't let go. I'm wearing him down.
0:37:07 > 0:37:09Please tell me he's slowing down.
0:37:09 > 0:37:12Get to the city, Link. I'll catch up with you as soon as I can.
0:37:14 > 0:37:19Or maybe you'll have to catch up with me.
0:37:31 > 0:37:33POUNDING
0:37:33 > 0:37:36SHE GASPS
0:37:55 > 0:37:56SHE GASPS
0:38:18 > 0:38:20SHE SHRIEKS
0:38:40 > 0:38:43Oh, no! No!
0:38:46 > 0:38:47Oh.
0:39:09 > 0:39:11OK, OK.
0:39:11 > 0:39:12I've got this.
0:39:20 > 0:39:22- CLANG - Ow.
0:39:25 > 0:39:27Yep, that hurt.
0:39:29 > 0:39:31Get in. I have a plan.
0:39:31 > 0:39:33HE LAUGHS
0:39:43 > 0:39:44Hot dogs.
0:39:46 > 0:39:48HE YELLS
0:39:51 > 0:39:54All right, Link. I'm going to pull up alongside it.
0:39:54 > 0:39:58You get up in there. Get to its central processing unit and...
0:39:58 > 0:40:01- Hey, guys! Catch me! - BOTH: No!
0:40:07 > 0:40:09Let's go, let's go. Keep it moving.
0:40:09 > 0:40:11Hey, no honking.
0:40:16 > 0:40:21Excuse me. Coming through. On your right. No control.
0:40:31 > 0:40:33TRUCK HORN HONKS
0:40:38 > 0:40:40Oh, no.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53OK, it's going to be OK. I'm going to get you out of there.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56Hold on a second. You have to get off the bridge before...
0:40:56 > 0:40:57HE YELLS
0:41:08 > 0:41:09YELLING AND SCREAMING
0:41:18 > 0:41:20SHE SCREAMS
0:41:21 > 0:41:23No! No!
0:41:23 > 0:41:24No! Get away from me!
0:41:30 > 0:41:31ROARING
0:41:41 > 0:41:43Coming through. Watch it.
0:41:43 > 0:41:44SHE SCREAMS
0:41:48 > 0:41:51Hey, furball. Where you been?
0:41:53 > 0:41:56Yeah, I know. Papa's a little out of shape.
0:41:56 > 0:41:58Excuse me, he's trying to kill me.
0:41:58 > 0:42:00Why is it doing that? Why would it...?
0:42:10 > 0:42:11Wow.
0:42:17 > 0:42:19SHE GASPS
0:42:28 > 0:42:30Wow. You're doing great.
0:42:30 > 0:42:32I'm doing everything!
0:42:32 > 0:42:34Not for long. Come on, you guys.
0:42:34 > 0:42:36Let's take this thing down.
0:42:37 > 0:42:40A deflector shield. Typical.
0:42:48 > 0:42:51You can't crush a cockroach.
0:42:51 > 0:42:52HE LAUGHS
0:42:58 > 0:43:00HE GASPS FOR BREATH
0:43:00 > 0:43:02Right.
0:43:02 > 0:43:04Here we go.
0:43:04 > 0:43:05HE YELLS
0:43:08 > 0:43:09Insectosaurus.
0:43:09 > 0:43:12Insectosaurus!
0:43:12 > 0:43:14- BOB!- What?- Help me!
0:43:14 > 0:43:17Sorry, I was just staring at this bird over there.
0:43:17 > 0:43:19We have to get these people off the bridge.
0:43:19 > 0:43:21- Got it. - WOMAN SCREAMS
0:43:21 > 0:43:25No! Move the dividers.
0:43:26 > 0:43:27Oh, yeah. You're right.
0:43:27 > 0:43:29- My bad. - HE LAUGHS
0:43:32 > 0:43:35Go, go, go, go!
0:43:42 > 0:43:43SHE GROANS
0:43:47 > 0:43:48Link.
0:43:48 > 0:43:50- HE GROANS - I don't feel good.
0:43:53 > 0:43:56OK, Susan, you can do this.
0:44:41 > 0:44:44All right. Let's take this thing down.
0:44:53 > 0:44:55- COMPUTER:- 'Retrieval has failed.
0:44:55 > 0:44:59'Don't get upset. It happens to everyone.'
0:44:59 > 0:45:00HE GROANS
0:45:00 > 0:45:06That lower life-form thinks she can steal my quantonium.
0:45:06 > 0:45:08Send another probe at once.
0:45:08 > 0:45:11'Quantonium cannot be retrieved via robot.
0:45:11 > 0:45:16'Carbon-based life-form locally known as Susan is now too strong.'
0:45:16 > 0:45:21Oh. You think because you're all big and strong
0:45:21 > 0:45:24and you can destroy my robot probe
0:45:24 > 0:45:27that you're going to send me running and hiding?
0:45:27 > 0:45:31My days of running and hiding are over.
0:45:31 > 0:45:35Computer, set a course to Earth.
0:45:35 > 0:45:39I will retrieve the quantonium myself,
0:45:39 > 0:45:45even if I need to rip it out of her body one cell at a time.
0:45:48 > 0:45:50'Careful, it's hot.'
0:45:54 > 0:45:57Three weeks ago, if you had asked me to defeat a giant alien robot,
0:45:57 > 0:46:01I would have said no can do. But I did it. Me.
0:46:01 > 0:46:04I'm still buzzing. Did you see how strong I was?
0:46:04 > 0:46:06There probably isn't a jar in this world I can't open.
0:46:06 > 0:46:09You were positively heroic, my dear.
0:46:09 > 0:46:12I especially loved how you saved all those people on the bridge.
0:46:12 > 0:46:15It was a nice touch. Wasn't she amazing, Link?
0:46:15 > 0:46:18Yeah, she was great. Really cool. Loved it.
0:46:18 > 0:46:21Oh, poor Link.
0:46:21 > 0:46:25After all that tough talk, you were out-monstered by a girl.
0:46:25 > 0:46:27No wonder you're depressed.
0:46:27 > 0:46:29Hey, I'm not depressed. I'm tired.
0:46:29 > 0:46:32Why are YOU tired? You didn't do anything.
0:46:32 > 0:46:33I haven't been sleeping well, all right?
0:46:33 > 0:46:36I've got sleep apness, apni...
0:46:36 > 0:46:38apnoea. Whatever. It's not fun.
0:46:38 > 0:46:42So Link's a little rusty. I mean, sleep-deprived.
0:46:42 > 0:46:44You'll be back to your old self in no time.
0:46:44 > 0:46:45And so will I.
0:46:45 > 0:46:50What about the "there isn't a jar in the world I can't open" stuff?
0:46:50 > 0:46:52Wait, did you find a jar you couldn't open?
0:46:52 > 0:46:53What was in it? Was there pickles in it?
0:46:53 > 0:46:55Where's the giant jar of pickles?
0:46:55 > 0:46:58What my associate is trying to say
0:46:58 > 0:47:02is we all think the new Susan is the cat's mi-wow.
0:47:02 > 0:47:03HE LAUGHS
0:47:03 > 0:47:05I'm sorry.
0:47:05 > 0:47:08Aww. Thanks, you guys.
0:47:08 > 0:47:10That is so sweet.
0:47:10 > 0:47:13But I have a normal life waiting for me, you know?
0:47:13 > 0:47:16So tell me exactly how this normal life thing works
0:47:16 > 0:47:20- with you being giant and all. - I'm not going to be a giant forever.
0:47:20 > 0:47:25Derek won't rest until we find a cure for my...condition.
0:47:25 > 0:47:26We're a team.
0:47:26 > 0:47:29We could all do with a Derek.
0:47:29 > 0:47:31Perhaps someday we could make his acquaintance.
0:47:31 > 0:47:33Really?
0:47:33 > 0:47:35You guys want to meet Derek?
0:47:42 > 0:47:44First stop, Modesto.
0:47:44 > 0:47:48Ginormica, I called your family to let them know you were coming home.
0:47:48 > 0:47:52I also called the Modesto PD, told them not to shoot at you.
0:47:53 > 0:47:54Thanks, General.
0:47:54 > 0:47:56CLUNK!
0:48:05 > 0:48:09OK, remember. These people aren't used to seeing, erm...
0:48:09 > 0:48:12anything like you.
0:48:12 > 0:48:15Or... Or you. Or you.
0:48:15 > 0:48:17So just be, you know, cool.
0:48:17 > 0:48:19Just be, you know... Follow my lead.
0:48:19 > 0:48:20CRUNCH
0:48:22 > 0:48:23ALL YELL
0:48:26 > 0:48:27Stop!
0:48:27 > 0:48:30That was an accident. Don't destroy anything.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33CRASH
0:48:33 > 0:48:35Susan?
0:48:35 > 0:48:36Susie Q!
0:48:36 > 0:48:39Mom, Daddy.
0:48:39 > 0:48:43Did they...experiment on you?
0:48:43 > 0:48:45No, Mom. I'm fine.
0:48:49 > 0:48:51It's OK. They're with me.
0:48:51 > 0:48:53These are my new friends.
0:48:53 > 0:48:56Oh, Derek. I missed you so much.
0:48:56 > 0:48:59Thinking that we'd someday be together again.
0:48:59 > 0:49:01It's the only thing that got me through prison.
0:49:01 > 0:49:03I love you! I love this man!
0:49:03 > 0:49:05No, BOB, that's my mother. You're suffocating her.
0:49:07 > 0:49:09Honey, are you all right?
0:49:09 > 0:49:11I taste ham.
0:49:11 > 0:49:12Sorry, Mom.
0:49:12 > 0:49:14He's just a hugger.
0:49:15 > 0:49:18- Where's Derek?- He's at work, sweetie.
0:49:18 > 0:49:22You know how he is about his career.
0:49:22 > 0:49:24We're not going to celebrate without him.
0:49:24 > 0:49:28Susan. What do I do with all your little friends?
0:49:28 > 0:49:31Just put out some snacks. They'll eat anything.
0:49:33 > 0:49:35Oh! Ambrosia.
0:49:35 > 0:49:37POP MUSIC PLAYS
0:49:38 > 0:49:40How's it going?
0:49:40 > 0:49:42Que pasa, girlfriend?
0:49:42 > 0:49:44Way to cut up a rug, Insecto.
0:49:47 > 0:49:49Who wants to go for a swim with the Link?
0:49:54 > 0:49:55HE YELLS
0:49:55 > 0:49:59Hi, I'm Benzoate Ostylezene Bicarbonate.
0:49:59 > 0:50:02Or you can call me BOB. Whichever's easier.
0:50:03 > 0:50:05Did I come on too strong? I'm sorry.
0:50:05 > 0:50:09I'm a little rusty. I've been in prison my whole life.
0:50:09 > 0:50:11Why did I mention prison?
0:50:12 > 0:50:13Oh, I didn't mean to scare you.
0:50:13 > 0:50:17I'm just going to go. (I feel so stupid.)
0:50:17 > 0:50:22All right, everyone just stay calm. Whatever you do, do not provoke them.
0:50:22 > 0:50:24Anyone care for an atomic gin fizz?
0:50:24 > 0:50:25It's got quite a...
0:50:27 > 0:50:28..kick.
0:50:28 > 0:50:30HE ROARS
0:50:30 > 0:50:32Chlorine! Chlorine in my eyes.
0:50:32 > 0:50:33HE YELLS
0:50:36 > 0:50:38Everyone, run for your lives!
0:50:42 > 0:50:44What are they running away from?
0:50:46 > 0:50:48HE LAUGHS
0:50:48 > 0:50:50That's hilarious, Jim.
0:50:50 > 0:50:52That is exactly the kind of down home country humour
0:50:52 > 0:50:54I'm going to miss when I'm in Fresno.
0:50:54 > 0:50:58This is Derek Dietl signing off for the very last time.
0:50:58 > 0:51:02Goodnight, Modesto!
0:51:02 > 0:51:04'Channel 172.'
0:51:04 > 0:51:06And cut. APPLAUSE
0:51:07 > 0:51:10So did you like that sign-off? Just made it up.
0:51:10 > 0:51:12SHE SCREAMS
0:51:14 > 0:51:16SCREAMING AND YELLING
0:51:17 > 0:51:19Oh, my goodness.
0:51:19 > 0:51:21Wait, wait, wait...
0:51:25 > 0:51:27Oh, Derek. You wouldn't believe my last three weeks.
0:51:27 > 0:51:29You just wouldn't believe it.
0:51:31 > 0:51:35Thinking about you was the only thing that kept me sane.
0:51:35 > 0:51:38C-C-Can't breathe. Ribs collapsing.
0:51:38 > 0:51:40Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.
0:51:40 > 0:51:44HE GROANS Oh, my God. Is that better?
0:51:44 > 0:51:47- OK. OK.- Oh, yeah.
0:51:47 > 0:51:50I'm just still kind of getting used to my new strength.
0:51:50 > 0:51:52Wow, you really are big.
0:51:52 > 0:51:57Yeah. But I'm still me. I'm still the same girl you fell in love with.
0:51:57 > 0:52:01Except you did just destroy the Golden Gate Bridge.
0:52:01 > 0:52:05But that was the only way I was going to stop that giant robot.
0:52:05 > 0:52:08- Did you ever think I could do something like that?- No, I didn't.
0:52:08 > 0:52:11I can honestly say that it never,
0:52:11 > 0:52:15ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever occurred to me.
0:52:15 > 0:52:18Look, I know this is a little weird.
0:52:18 > 0:52:22OK, it's a lot weird. But we'll figure it out.
0:52:22 > 0:52:26I know that together we can find a way to get me back to normal.
0:52:26 > 0:52:30Susan, try and look at this from my perspective.
0:52:30 > 0:52:34I have an audience that depends on me for news, weather, sports
0:52:34 > 0:52:36and heart-warming fluff pieces.
0:52:36 > 0:52:39So you expect me to put all that on hold while you try to undo
0:52:39 > 0:52:41this thing that happened to YOU?
0:52:41 > 0:52:43That I had absolutely nothing to do with?
0:52:43 > 0:52:47Yes. That's exactly what I expect.
0:52:47 > 0:52:50What about the life that we always talked about?
0:52:50 > 0:52:51Don't you still want that?
0:52:51 > 0:52:54Of course. I just...
0:52:54 > 0:52:57don't see how I can have that with you.
0:52:58 > 0:53:00Derek, please.
0:53:00 > 0:53:01Don't do this.
0:53:01 > 0:53:03You have to face facts, Susan.
0:53:03 > 0:53:07And don't crush me for saying this, but I'm not looking to get married
0:53:07 > 0:53:11and spend the rest of my life in someone else's shadow.
0:53:11 > 0:53:14And you're casting a pretty big shadow.
0:53:14 > 0:53:17I'm sorry. It's over.
0:53:18 > 0:53:20Good luck, Susan.
0:53:54 > 0:53:57CLUNKING AND CREAKING
0:54:04 > 0:54:09Wow, what a shindig.
0:54:09 > 0:54:13Your parents really know how to throw it down.
0:54:13 > 0:54:14What? No, that was a great party.
0:54:14 > 0:54:17One of the best I've been to since I got out of prison.
0:54:17 > 0:54:20I must have been at a different party,
0:54:20 > 0:54:22cos that's not how I interpreted it at all.
0:54:22 > 0:54:24I don't think your parents like me
0:54:24 > 0:54:27and I think that jello gave me a fake phone number.
0:54:27 > 0:54:30Well, at least the garbage was free, you know?
0:54:30 > 0:54:34Who are we kidding? We could save every city on the planet
0:54:34 > 0:54:37and they'd still treat us the same way they've always treated us.
0:54:37 > 0:54:39Like monsters.
0:54:41 > 0:54:44Right. Monsters.
0:54:45 > 0:54:48Anyway, how, er...? How was Derek?
0:54:53 > 0:54:55Derek is a selfish jerk.
0:54:55 > 0:54:58- No!- Yes.
0:54:58 > 0:55:01All that talk about "us". I'm so proud of "us".
0:55:01 > 0:55:03"Us" just got a job in Fresno.
0:55:03 > 0:55:06There's no "us". There was only Derek.
0:55:06 > 0:55:11Why did I have to get hit by a meteor to see that? I'm such an idiot.
0:55:13 > 0:55:17Why did I ever think life with Derek would be so great anyway?
0:55:17 > 0:55:19I mean, look at all the stuff I've done without him.
0:55:19 > 0:55:21Fighting an alien robot?
0:55:21 > 0:55:23That was me, not him.
0:55:23 > 0:55:25And that was amazing.
0:55:25 > 0:55:27Meeting you guys!
0:55:27 > 0:55:29Amazing.
0:55:29 > 0:55:31Dr Cockroach, you can crawl up walls
0:55:31 > 0:55:34and build a supercomputer out of a pizza box,
0:55:34 > 0:55:36two cans of hairspray and...
0:55:36 > 0:55:38- And a paperclip.- Amazing.
0:55:38 > 0:55:40And you! You hardly need an introduction.
0:55:40 > 0:55:41You're the Missing Link!
0:55:41 > 0:55:43You carried 250 co-eds off of Coco Beach
0:55:43 > 0:55:46and still had the strength to fight off the National Guard.
0:55:46 > 0:55:49And the coastguard. And also the lifeguard.
0:55:49 > 0:55:51Amazing.
0:55:51 > 0:55:54BOB, who else could fall from unimaginable heights
0:55:54 > 0:55:56and end up without a single scratch?
0:55:56 > 0:55:59- Link?- You.- Amazing!
0:55:59 > 0:56:02ROARING
0:56:02 > 0:56:05Good point, Insecto. Susan, don't short-change yourself.
0:56:05 > 0:56:09Oh, I'm not going to short-change myself ever again.
0:56:09 > 0:56:11- Testify.- Yeah.
0:56:11 > 0:56:13- LAUGHTER - Oh, yes.
0:56:16 > 0:56:18SHE SHRIEKS
0:56:19 > 0:56:20ALL: Susan!
0:56:27 > 0:56:29Way to go, Insecto.
0:56:39 > 0:56:41- SQUEAKS - Insecto, look out!
0:56:48 > 0:56:50Insectosaurus, no!
0:56:54 > 0:56:56INSECTOSAURUS GROANS
0:56:58 > 0:57:00You're going to make it.
0:57:00 > 0:57:03It's going to be all right. Look at me.
0:57:03 > 0:57:08Don't you close those eyes. Don't you dare close those eyes.
0:57:08 > 0:57:10You can't...
0:57:15 > 0:57:18SHE MOANS
0:57:34 > 0:57:36SHE GASPS
0:57:42 > 0:57:43SHE YELPS
0:57:43 > 0:57:46EVIL LAUGH
0:57:46 > 0:57:48You must be terrified.
0:57:48 > 0:57:53You wake up in a strange place wearing strange clothes
0:57:53 > 0:57:55imprisoned by a strange being
0:57:55 > 0:57:58floating on a strange hovering device.
0:57:58 > 0:58:00Strange, isn't it?
0:58:00 > 0:58:03Hardly. It's not the first time.
0:58:03 > 0:58:05Wow. You really get around.
0:58:05 > 0:58:08To the extraction chamber!
0:58:08 > 0:58:11Look, what is it that you want from me?
0:58:11 > 0:58:15You have stolen what is rightfully mine.
0:58:15 > 0:58:17I didn't steal anything from you.
0:58:17 > 0:58:20Your enormous, grotesque body contains quantonium,
0:58:20 > 0:58:24the most powerful substance in the universe.
0:58:24 > 0:58:27Did you really think you could keep it from me?
0:58:27 > 0:58:30That's what this is all about?
0:58:30 > 0:58:35You destroyed San Francisco, you terrified millions of people,
0:58:35 > 0:58:37you killed my friend just to get to me?
0:58:37 > 0:58:39Ah, ka-ka-ka-ka-ka.
0:58:39 > 0:58:43Silence. Your voice is grating on my ear nubs.
0:58:43 > 0:58:46It's a shame you won't be around to see
0:58:46 > 0:58:49what the power of quantonium can do
0:58:49 > 0:58:53in the tentacles of someone who knows how to use it.
0:58:53 > 0:58:56I know how to use it just fine.
0:58:56 > 0:58:57Don't bother.
0:58:57 > 0:59:00That force-field is impene...
0:59:01 > 0:59:03What the flagnon?
0:59:10 > 0:59:12SHE YELLS
0:59:15 > 0:59:18Ha! That should stop your puny...
0:59:19 > 0:59:21Computer, close door hangar two.
0:59:21 > 0:59:23Close door hangar three.
0:59:23 > 0:59:26Door hangar four.
0:59:26 > 0:59:28Close them all!
0:59:33 > 0:59:34SHE GRUNTS
1:00:12 > 1:00:14Computer, begin extraction.
1:00:16 > 1:00:18Oh!
1:00:22 > 1:00:23Ah!
1:00:28 > 1:00:29HE CHUCKLES
1:00:52 > 1:00:55HE LAUGHS
1:00:55 > 1:01:00Finally, I can rebuild my civilisation on a new planet.
1:01:00 > 1:01:03Any thoughts on where I should set up shop?
1:01:03 > 1:01:05Your planet, perhaps?
1:01:05 > 1:01:08You keep your slimly tentacles off my planet.
1:01:08 > 1:01:10If you wanted to stop me,
1:01:10 > 1:01:13you should have done it when you possessed the quantonium.
1:01:13 > 1:01:15Now you're nothing.
1:01:15 > 1:01:18There are innocent people down there who didn't do anything.
1:01:20 > 1:01:24There were innocent people on MY home planet before it was destroyed.
1:01:24 > 1:01:26Look, I'm sorry your planet was destroyed.
1:01:26 > 1:01:29Oh, don't be. I'm the one who destroyed it.
1:01:29 > 1:01:31Confused?
1:01:31 > 1:01:33After I reveal my tale to you,
1:01:33 > 1:01:37everything will become crystal clear.
1:01:37 > 1:01:40Computer, initialise cloning machine.
1:01:40 > 1:01:42- COMPUTER:- 'Yes, Gallaxhar.'
1:01:43 > 1:01:47Many zentons ago, when I was but a squidling,
1:01:47 > 1:01:50I found out my parents were...
1:01:51 > 1:01:55No child should ever have to endure that.
1:01:55 > 1:01:57So I went on the road with a giant...
1:02:00 > 1:02:02..and soon thereafter was married.
1:02:02 > 1:02:05Things were going well until she wanted to...
1:02:07 > 1:02:10And then I was all, "No way," and she was all, "Yes way."
1:02:10 > 1:02:12And I was like...
1:02:13 > 1:02:15But I've told you too much already.
1:02:17 > 1:02:20Let the birth of my new planet,
1:02:20 > 1:02:22now called...
1:02:22 > 1:02:26Gallaxhar's Planet, begin!
1:02:50 > 1:02:54Once again, a UFO has landed in America,
1:02:54 > 1:02:57the only country UFOs ever seem to land in.
1:02:57 > 1:02:59Excuse me.
1:02:59 > 1:03:01What's that, Henshaw?
1:03:01 > 1:03:03Okey dokey.
1:03:03 > 1:03:05Er, we now take you live
1:03:05 > 1:03:09to a transmission from the alien spacecraft.
1:03:10 > 1:03:15Humans of Earth, I have come in peace.
1:03:15 > 1:03:19You need not fear me - I mean you no harm.
1:03:19 > 1:03:21However, it is important to note
1:03:21 > 1:03:24that most of you will not survive the next 24 hours.
1:03:24 > 1:03:28Those of you who DO survive will be enslaved and experimented on.
1:03:28 > 1:03:32You should in no way take any of this personally -
1:03:32 > 1:03:34it's just business.
1:03:34 > 1:03:36So just to recap,
1:03:36 > 1:03:39I come in peace, I mean you no harm, and you all will die.
1:03:39 > 1:03:40Gallaxhar out.
1:03:45 > 1:03:48OK. Er, boys, set the terror level at code brown,
1:03:48 > 1:03:51cos I need to change my pants.
1:04:04 > 1:04:06What are we going to do now, Doc?
1:04:06 > 1:04:07- I... - HE SIGHS
1:04:07 > 1:04:09I don't know.
1:04:09 > 1:04:11I'll tell you what we're going to do.
1:04:11 > 1:04:14We're not going to let Insecto die in vain.
1:04:14 > 1:04:16We're going to get up there,
1:04:16 > 1:04:20find Susan, and we're going to take that alien down.
1:04:24 > 1:04:27All right, gentlemen, you've got enough juice in those jet packs
1:04:27 > 1:04:30to get you up there but not enough to make it home.
1:04:30 > 1:04:33I'll come get you if I can. If I don't, it means I'm dead.
1:04:34 > 1:04:36Or late.
1:04:37 > 1:04:40I've been your warden for close to 50 years.
1:04:40 > 1:04:42That's no longer the case.
1:04:42 > 1:04:45For what it's worth...
1:04:45 > 1:04:47That's rude. What did we do?
1:04:47 > 1:04:49No, BOB. That's not rude.
1:04:49 > 1:04:51That's a sign of respect.
1:05:00 > 1:05:04- General, it's targeting us. - That's the idea, Lieutenant.
1:05:04 > 1:05:05Hold your course.
1:05:05 > 1:05:09Steady, steady.
1:05:10 > 1:05:12Hard right, hard right.
1:05:14 > 1:05:16I can't shake it.
1:05:19 > 1:05:22Hang onto your socks - we're going for a ride.
1:05:24 > 1:05:26Yee-ha!
1:05:33 > 1:05:36That's why I always wear a parachute, Lieutenant.
1:05:39 > 1:05:42You can let go of me now, Lieutenant.
1:05:43 > 1:05:45RUMBLING AND CRACKING
1:06:09 > 1:06:11HE MAKES BIRD NOISES
1:06:13 > 1:06:16Who are you signalling? We're right here.
1:06:16 > 1:06:18Hey, zip it.
1:06:24 > 1:06:26Clone.
1:06:26 > 1:06:27ALL: Hail Gallaxhar.
1:06:27 > 1:06:30No. Not all of you. You there.
1:06:30 > 1:06:32Erm, how do I do this? Three back.
1:06:32 > 1:06:35No, no, no. That guy. Next to you.
1:06:35 > 1:06:36The one I'm pointing at.
1:06:36 > 1:06:38You, the one... Ack-ka-ka-ka-ka.
1:06:38 > 1:06:41You, clone. Yes. Good.
1:06:41 > 1:06:42HE SIGHS
1:06:42 > 1:06:45Take the prisoner to the incinerator.
1:06:45 > 1:06:47She's useless to us now.
1:06:47 > 1:06:50- Hail Gallaxhar.- Hail me.
1:07:03 > 1:07:04Wow.
1:07:04 > 1:07:08Ginormica ain't so ginormic any more.
1:07:08 > 1:07:10How are we supposed to get to her?
1:07:10 > 1:07:12There's too many of them. It's impossible.
1:07:16 > 1:07:19I may not have a brain, gentlemen,
1:07:19 > 1:07:21but I have an idea.
1:07:27 > 1:07:29This is not going to work.
1:07:36 > 1:07:38Oh.
1:07:42 > 1:07:43Halt.
1:07:46 > 1:07:52I...Gallaxhar, command you to hand over the prisoner this instant.
1:07:53 > 1:07:56Clearly you are defective beyond repair.
1:07:56 > 1:07:59Guards, take this defective clone to the incinerator.
1:08:02 > 1:08:05Well, what are you waiting for? You and you.
1:08:06 > 1:08:08- Seriously?- Yes.
1:08:08 > 1:08:12Take the prisoner and the defective clone to the incinerator.
1:08:12 > 1:08:15Er, of course, sir.
1:08:15 > 1:08:17Here's a security pass just in case.
1:08:18 > 1:08:21- Would you like a gun?- Yes, I would.
1:08:21 > 1:08:23Hey, guys, look.
1:08:25 > 1:08:27OK.
1:08:27 > 1:08:31I can't believe you guys came to save me.
1:08:31 > 1:08:35- Thank you.- Don't mention it. We monsters have got to stick together.
1:08:35 > 1:08:37But I'm not a monster any more.
1:08:37 > 1:08:39I'm just me.
1:08:39 > 1:08:43My dear, no matter what your size, you'll always be...
1:08:43 > 1:08:47nothing but a filthy, carbon-based life-form.
1:08:47 > 1:08:48ALL: Hail Gallaxhar.
1:08:48 > 1:08:50Hail Gallaxhar.
1:08:54 > 1:08:56These disguises are the bomb.
1:08:57 > 1:08:59That's it! Follow me.
1:08:59 > 1:09:00The only way to save the Earth...
1:09:00 > 1:09:02- ALL: Hail Gallaxhar. - Hail Gallaxhar.
1:09:02 > 1:09:05- The only way to sa... - Hail Gallaxhar.- Hail Gallaxhar.
1:09:05 > 1:09:06The only way to save the Earth
1:09:06 > 1:09:09- is to blow up this ship before... - Hail Gallaxhar.
1:09:09 > 1:09:13- ..before the invasion starts. - So how are we going to do this?
1:09:13 > 1:09:15We need to find the main power core.
1:09:15 > 1:09:18Excuse me, could you direct us to the main power core?
1:09:18 > 1:09:21Gladly. It's right there above the extraction chamber.
1:09:33 > 1:09:35- Thank you very much. Hail Gallaxhar. - Watch out!
1:09:35 > 1:09:38- Look out, brainless. - Give me that thing!
1:09:38 > 1:09:42A weapon like this needs to be in the hands of somebody responsi...
1:09:42 > 1:09:44Oh.
1:09:44 > 1:09:46What?
1:09:46 > 1:09:49Hail Gallaxhar?
1:09:49 > 1:09:50Monsters.
1:09:50 > 1:09:52- COMPUTER:- 'Monsters.'
1:09:52 > 1:09:56Monsters? Attention, all aliens.
1:09:56 > 1:09:58Destroy all monsters.
1:09:59 > 1:10:02You want some of this?
1:10:06 > 1:10:10You want to hurt my friends, you'll have to go through me.
1:10:13 > 1:10:14Oh, yeah.
1:10:35 > 1:10:37- Susan.- Ah!
1:10:43 > 1:10:45I can't believe we made it.
1:10:49 > 1:10:51HE YELLS
1:10:57 > 1:10:59- CLANK - Ow.
1:11:02 > 1:11:06O...M...G.
1:11:06 > 1:11:08- COMPUTER:- 'Warning - intruder.'
1:11:08 > 1:11:10COMPUTER LAUGHS
1:11:10 > 1:11:12'You'll never figure out my colour code.'
1:11:13 > 1:11:16A hexadecimal colour code system.
1:11:16 > 1:11:18This won't be but a moment.
1:11:18 > 1:11:19MANIACAL LAUGH
1:11:19 > 1:11:22Red, green, blue, yellow, orange, baby blue,
1:11:22 > 1:11:25purple, pink, mauve, gold, brown ochre, avocado, then we go - hey!
1:11:25 > 1:11:28DANCE MUSIC
1:11:32 > 1:11:34Come on, dance.
1:11:34 > 1:11:39'Your busted, tired dance moves are no match for my security protocols.'
1:11:39 > 1:11:41We can't hold them off much longer.
1:11:41 > 1:11:47There's one thing you don't know about me, my dear. My PhD is in...
1:11:48 > 1:11:50..dance.
1:11:51 > 1:11:53'Security protocol breached.
1:11:53 > 1:11:56'Ship has been set to self-destruct.
1:11:56 > 1:12:01'Total annihilation in T minus six minutes.'
1:12:01 > 1:12:04Well, launch the invasion, then.
1:12:04 > 1:12:06'Invasion no longer possible.'
1:12:06 > 1:12:08Oh...spaceballs!
1:12:08 > 1:12:13Divert the quantonium to the bridge and prepare my escape capsule.
1:12:26 > 1:12:28Look at that. They're all running scared.
1:12:28 > 1:12:32- Monsters win.- I don't think that's why they're running.
1:12:32 > 1:12:37'Ship will self-destruct in T minus five minutes.'
1:12:40 > 1:12:41Hail Gallaxhar.
1:12:41 > 1:12:43We're not going to make it.
1:12:46 > 1:12:47HE YELLS
1:12:57 > 1:12:59Keep going.
1:13:06 > 1:13:08HE STRAINS
1:13:08 > 1:13:11It's no use. It won't budge.
1:13:11 > 1:13:14If I was still Ginormica, I could do this.
1:13:14 > 1:13:16Get out of here while you've still got the chance.
1:13:16 > 1:13:20No, don't say that. I'm not leaving you guys.
1:13:20 > 1:13:22Yes, you are. Rendezvous with Monger.
1:13:22 > 1:13:24He's outside the ship waiting for you.
1:13:24 > 1:13:26Go while there's still time.
1:13:26 > 1:13:31'Ship will self-destruct in T minus four minutes.'
1:13:31 > 1:13:33Don't you worry about us, Susan.
1:13:33 > 1:13:36You finally have a chance to get your old life back.
1:13:36 > 1:13:38I don't want my old life back.
1:13:46 > 1:13:48They think they've stopped me.
1:13:48 > 1:13:50They've stopped nothing.
1:13:50 > 1:13:54'Female, carbon-based life-form, or Susan, not contained.'
1:13:54 > 1:13:55What?
1:14:02 > 1:14:04Attention, robot probes.
1:14:04 > 1:14:07Crush the earthling.
1:14:18 > 1:14:21SHE SHRIEKS
1:14:34 > 1:14:36'Robot bay has been destroyed.'
1:14:36 > 1:14:39- HE GROWLS - Fire phasoid cannon.
1:14:53 > 1:14:56HE YELLS
1:15:00 > 1:15:03Are you crazy? You could have killed me.
1:15:03 > 1:15:05Then we understand each other.
1:15:05 > 1:15:09Now, open the doors and let my friends go.
1:15:09 > 1:15:10Or what?
1:15:10 > 1:15:14You don't actually think you're a match for me, do you?
1:15:14 > 1:15:16ELECTRIC BUBBLING NOISE
1:15:16 > 1:15:20'Quantonium has been successfully diverted to the bridge.
1:15:20 > 1:15:23'Escape capsule ready for transport.'
1:15:23 > 1:15:25Like I told you before,
1:15:25 > 1:15:29you should have defeated me when you had the quantonium.
1:15:29 > 1:15:30Have fun exploding.
1:15:36 > 1:15:38- Argh!- Argh.
1:15:43 > 1:15:44Whoa...
1:15:55 > 1:15:58Now, open the doors.
1:15:58 > 1:16:01Even if I wanted to, I couldn't.
1:16:01 > 1:16:03That's what happens when you set a ship to self-destruct.
1:16:03 > 1:16:05Now we're all going to die!
1:16:05 > 1:16:09And there's nothing you can do about it...Susan.
1:16:11 > 1:16:13I wouldn't be so sure.
1:16:13 > 1:16:15And the name is Ginormica.
1:16:27 > 1:16:32'Total annihilation in T minus one minute.'
1:16:32 > 1:16:34It's been an honour knowing you, Doc.
1:16:34 > 1:16:36The feeling is mutual, my friend.
1:16:36 > 1:16:38I'll see you guys tomorrow for lunch.
1:16:38 > 1:16:41- That's right, BOB. - There will be candy and cake.
1:16:41 > 1:16:43- And balloons. - Cake and balloons for lunch?
1:16:43 > 1:16:46It's going to be the best day ever! I love you guys.
1:16:46 > 1:16:48CRASH
1:17:00 > 1:17:02By Hawking's chair.
1:17:19 > 1:17:25'Total annihilation in T minus 30 seconds.'
1:17:26 > 1:17:29- Where's Monger? - He's supposed to be here.
1:17:29 > 1:17:33He said the only reason he wouldn't be here is if he was dead.
1:17:36 > 1:17:38Or late.
1:17:42 > 1:17:44Insectosaurus, you're alive!
1:17:44 > 1:17:46HE LAUGHS
1:17:46 > 1:17:48And you're a butterfly.
1:17:52 > 1:17:57'Eight, seven, six,
1:17:57 > 1:18:00'five, four, three...'
1:18:00 > 1:18:02Come on, come on!
1:18:02 > 1:18:05'..two, one.'
1:18:07 > 1:18:09'Hmm. Nothing happened. Maybe my count...'
1:18:16 > 1:18:18There they are!
1:18:18 > 1:18:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1:18:23 > 1:18:25ROARS
1:18:29 > 1:18:32HE WHOOPS
1:18:32 > 1:18:34HE LAUGHS
1:18:34 > 1:18:36Yeah.
1:18:36 > 1:18:37THEY SCREAM
1:18:37 > 1:18:39Oh, great.
1:18:39 > 1:18:41NOISY KISS
1:18:42 > 1:18:44Oh, boy.
1:18:44 > 1:18:46Susie Q!
1:18:46 > 1:18:48- Daddy!- Oh, Susan.
1:18:48 > 1:18:53Ever since you were a baby, I knew that someday you would...
1:18:53 > 1:18:56you know, save the Earth from an invasion from outer space.
1:18:56 > 1:18:59Thank you. But it wasn't just me, Mom.
1:18:59 > 1:19:02Excuse me. Hello. Coming through. How are you?
1:19:02 > 1:19:05- Susan!- Derek?
1:19:05 > 1:19:08Baby, I thought long and hard about what happened between us.
1:19:08 > 1:19:10And I want you to know
1:19:10 > 1:19:11I forgive you.
1:19:11 > 1:19:15- You forgive me?- Of course.
1:19:15 > 1:19:18It wasn't your fault you got hit by a meteor and ruined everything.
1:19:18 > 1:19:21And you know what? I say maybe you didn't ruin everything.
1:19:21 > 1:19:25I just got a call from New York.
1:19:25 > 1:19:27They offered me network.
1:19:27 > 1:19:29All I have to do is get an exclusive interview from you.
1:19:29 > 1:19:31- Really?- Yeah!
1:19:31 > 1:19:34I get my dream job, and you get your dream guy.
1:19:34 > 1:19:37- It's a win-win for Team Dietl. - HE CHUCKLES
1:19:37 > 1:19:40Derek...
1:19:40 > 1:19:42that's amazing.
1:19:42 > 1:19:44Er, is the camera rolling?
1:19:44 > 1:19:46Absolutely.
1:19:46 > 1:19:50Good. Because I wouldn't want your fans out there to miss this.
1:19:51 > 1:19:56This is Susan Murphy saying, "Goodbye...Derek!"
1:19:56 > 1:19:58Whoa!
1:20:00 > 1:20:02BOB, could you, er...? DEREK YELLS
1:20:06 > 1:20:10Derek, you are a selfish jerk, and guess what.
1:20:10 > 1:20:12I've met someone else.
1:20:12 > 1:20:16She's lime-green, she has 14 little chunks of pineapple inside of her
1:20:16 > 1:20:19and she is everything I deserve in life.
1:20:19 > 1:20:22I'm happy now, Derek, without you.
1:20:22 > 1:20:24It's over.
1:20:25 > 1:20:26Turn it off.
1:20:26 > 1:20:29Monsters, I'm so proud of you I could cry...
1:20:29 > 1:20:32if I hadn't lost my tear ducts in the war.
1:20:32 > 1:20:35But not crying will have to wait. The world needs you again.
1:20:35 > 1:20:37What is it, General?
1:20:37 > 1:20:40Seems a snail fell into a French nuclear reactor.
1:20:40 > 1:20:46As we speak, Escargantua is slowly making its way to Paris.
1:20:47 > 1:20:50Well, I've always wanted to go to Paris.
1:20:50 > 1:20:51Now, who's with me?
1:20:51 > 1:20:54What do you say Butterfly...asaurus.
1:20:54 > 1:20:55ROARS
1:20:55 > 1:20:57We're in.
1:20:57 > 1:21:00- I'm in!- Count me in, too.
1:21:00 > 1:21:02CHEERING
1:21:05 > 1:21:07Au revoir, sweetie.
1:21:07 > 1:21:11- Have a safe flight. - Yeah, and hang on.
1:21:23 > 1:21:25Goodbye, Derek.
1:21:25 > 1:21:26Good luck getting over me.
1:21:26 > 1:21:30Er, BOB? It's me he's never going to get over.
1:21:30 > 1:21:31Wait, wait, wait.
1:21:31 > 1:21:34You were dating Derek, too?
1:21:34 > 1:21:37That two-timing jerk!
1:21:42 > 1:21:44# So, you think you can dance? #
1:21:52 > 1:21:54Everyone,
1:21:54 > 1:21:56let's welcome my new Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
1:21:56 > 1:21:58General WR Monger.
1:21:58 > 1:22:00Thank you, Mr President.
1:22:00 > 1:22:03What a great way, sir, to celebrate my 90th birthday.
1:22:03 > 1:22:04Very good, Warren.
1:22:04 > 1:22:07All right. # Let's get it started in here. #
1:22:07 > 1:22:08Nerd.
1:22:08 > 1:22:12Gentlemen, I have assembled a preliminary budget estimate
1:22:12 > 1:22:14for the rebuilding of San Francisco.
1:22:14 > 1:22:16Zoinkers. This is going to be a boring one.
1:22:16 > 1:22:17Good time for a cup of Joe.
1:22:17 > 1:22:19Warren, how do you take it?
1:22:19 > 1:22:21Hit me with a double venti,
1:22:21 > 1:22:23organic, chocolate brownie, caramel frappucino
1:22:23 > 1:22:25extra hot with one inch of foam.
1:22:25 > 1:22:27Non-fat.
1:22:27 > 1:22:28You got it. Black it is.
1:22:28 > 1:22:30CLAMOURING
1:22:30 > 1:22:34My God, man. What have you done?
1:22:34 > 1:22:37Time to wave the white flag and head for the bunker, boys.
1:22:37 > 1:22:39Let's check on the situation in 500 years.
1:22:39 > 1:22:41Who wants to freeze my head?